Double Vision
by pdsldl
Summary: Started as Enterprise encounters a Starfleet starship from parallel timeline with TOS technology. TnT x 2 and then it moves on to the development of their bond with the RU and adds an MU universe TnT storyline. Reed/Sato and Archer/Hernandez also.
1. Chapter 1

This story is in response to a challenge by drag0nsclaw here at Fanfiction (hope you like it). Premise is NX-01 is in the correct timeline and another ship, not Enterprise is thrown from parallel universe into NX-01's timeline with Trip as Captain on its maiden voyage, with TOS technology (Vulcans hadn't hindered humans progress by 100 years because they figured it wasn't worth their time and left after first warp flight succeeded). Both ships have TnT pairings. I intend to borrow a plot from TOS (adding my own twists to make it more fun and less sixty-ish male hormone driven with mini skirt clad females). Girls wanna have fun too. Thanks to the original writers of this material (I'll let you figure out which episode) and thanks to Paramount/CBS for allowing me to borrow a small part of Star Trek for my own entertainment.

The setting is after Season 3. Season 4 is well -- it's very, very far off in someone else's dreamscape, so canon will be abandoned as if that season doesn't exist. This will be PG-13 to R. Suggestive, a little skin to skin contact, but not too graphic and there will be swearing. No worse than was used on the show, though.

If there's anyone who'd like to beta this for me, I'd appreciate it. Grammar issues are always a problem when I proof my own work and I may need someone to make sure I keep my timelines straight and not mix up my characters.

**Chapter 1 – Where Are We and How Did We Get Here?**

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

"Captain the engines are a go we can head out anytime you're ready." Commander Trip Tucker was anxious to get going to find a planet suitable for shore leave. He and his staff needed some downtime having worked for three weeks straight trying to put the warp drive back together.

Travis informed Archer there were no problems going to warp. "Go get some sleep Trip. You need to rest up so you can enjoy that vacation you've got coming." Captain Archer suggested in that tone that said it was more than a suggestion.

"Sure thing, sir." Trip would rather stay in Engineering working so he didn't have time to think too much, but disobeying an order, even an indirect one was out of the question.

--

"Good afternoon T'Pol." Trip knew she hated it when he omitted her rank when on duty. Although, technically he was off-duty.

"I take it you have completed your work on the engines, Commander?" T'Pol responded, having given up on getting the Commander to be professional during their on-duty hours.

"Finally, I'm going to get something to eat then the Captain said I had to go get some sleep. Care to join me?" He deliberately made his statement ambiguous just to tweak her a little more.

T'Pol was sure he meant join him for his meal, but with Trip, she could never be 100% confident about anything. He made such statements with such ease it unsettled her. "I'm on my way to the Mess Hall so I will join you for lunch." They ate most meals together anyway, so why he continued to invite her to join him she couldn't guess.

Trip sat at the table moving his food around the plate blankly staring at it. T'Pol could feel waves of exhaustion coming from him, making her marvel that he was still upright. "When was the last time you slept Commander?"

He tried to focus on her. "Three nights ago I think I slept for 2 maybe 3 hours before I woke up." Trip wasn't sure when he'd slept last. He'd let himself get so exhausted sleep was difficult. Most people passed out from exhaustion he found the more exhausted he got the harder it was to go to sleep and stay there.

"Perhaps you should either see Dr. Phlox for a sedative or come by my quarters for a session of neuropressure."

"I still haven't decided if I want to continue neuropressure." T'Pol had told him he was ready to take the sessions up a level, but that involved more intimacy. At least she warned him this time. Last time she wished to advance his knowledge, she simply asked him to remove his sweatpants. They'd compromised on his wearing shorts. It wasn't that he didn't want to continue, it was that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his body under control much longer if they were to wear less clothing and things got anymore intimate. And allowing himself to loose control once was more than enough.

"You may wear your shorts. You need sleep and if you continue as you are you will be useless to anybody." They'd been doing this dance around each other for some time now and T'Pol was not getting any better at interpreting his signals. Hoshi had explained that woman had to learn to read the signals men gave them to determine what they wanted from a woman because men didn't like to discuss relationships and feelings.

Trip seemed to enjoy her company. He had stated they were the best of friends. He had been excited about the prospect of a relationship after they met their son, Lorian, on the other Enterprise, but she had 'shut him down' again as he put it and he backed off. They had finally gotten back to being close friends with that easiness between them again. He simply ignored or wasn't interested in the advances made by other woman towards him and he spent most of his free time with T'Pol, Captain Archer, or Lt. Reed. If she was supposed to read his signals she needed a little legend, like on maps, to tell her what they were and what they meant. Although she had rejected her betrothed, Koss, at times, like this she wished it were as easy to mate with a Human as it was with a Vulcan.

Now she had to read this males signals, deal with emotions she was totally unprepared for (the expanse and her addiction had weakened her control), and remain Vulcan and true to the teachings of Surak. All this while also trying to be the First Officer Captain Archer required her to be to fulfill her duties as a newly commissioned Starfleet Commander. She was a Vulcan and should be able to multi-task with no problems and besides humans did this all the time, so why was she finding it so difficult to manage her life?

--

"Commander Tucker, you need to wake up."

Trip's head came up slightly with little slits in his eyes trying to keep the bright light from reaching them. "T'Pol?" It can't be I must be dreaming again. "Am I dreaming or did you decide to take me up on my offer?"

T'Pol was all seriousness and composed. "Commander you must wake up. Sensors have picked up a ship that appears to be a Starfleet vessel, but it has much more advanced weaponry and shields than Enterprise."

"Okay, this must be a dream. Starfleet has a ship that's better than Enterprise. Go away and let me finish my dream it sounds like fun. Good night." Trip's head dropped back down on his pillow.

"Commander Tucker. This is not a dream. Wake up, that's an order." T'Pol practically yelled at him. She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"I really need to work on my dreams. You're a bigger pain when I'm sleeping than when I'm awake." Trip complained as she maneuvered him under the ice-cold water. "Damn. What are you doing? That's cold." He yelped trying to stop his shaking, while slapping at T'Pol to make her let go of him. "What the hell is wrong with you? Stop torturing me and go away."

T'Pol held his shirt tightly to keep his head under the ice-cold spray. "Go see the Doctor and then come to the bridge. You have 15 minutes." T'Pol pulled him out of the shower stall before she released him and strode to the door leaving him standing with water dripping all over the floor.

Looking at the puddle at his feet. "15 minutes are you crazy. It'll take me that long to get dressed..." Leaning back against the shower door. "...and clean up this mess and I really need to see Phlox to get something to counter the 8 hour sedative he gave me..." He looked at the time. "It's only 3 am. Damn it. I've only been asleep for 3 hours again." If somebody had just warned him, there'd be an emergency, he could have managed on his own and not had this drugged out hangover.

"Then I suggest you shut up and get moving, Commander. You should have taken me up on my offer of neuropressure." T'Pol countered as the door slide shut. She wasn't usually so abrupt and rude, but the Commander was being difficult and needed the extra push his anger would provide.

He yelled at the closed door. "You're a real pain in the ass when you're acting all smug Commander." He knew she probably hadn't heard him, but he felt better. She actually came into his quarters and put him in a cold shower. He'd find a way to get some payback for that one. And he needed to work really hard at not using her rank, it only encouraged her because then she knew she'd gotten to him.

--

"Glad you could join us Commander." Captain Archer teased as his chief engineer took up a spot near T'Pol's station.

"Sorry. Seems the universe is conspiring to force me to stay awake." He shot T'Pol an evil smirk. "What's this about a starship that's faster than Enterprise?" Trip started looking over the sensor data T'Pol had gathered. "That's impossible. It looks a lot like Enterprise." The ship on the vid screen had the same nacellas. The saucer looked a bit bigger though. Everything was situated a little differently, but it was Starfleet.

Then he saw it. Shields. They had shields much like the Vulcans and Andorians. "Look at that Captain there's some sort of deflector and their warp generator is twice as big as ours. That's impossible." Trip Tucker had to see inside this ship. Who built it? How had they gotten the Vulcans or Andorians to give them the technology? 'I bet they have a cloaking device?' he thought to himself, all sense of being tired had vanished.

**Lexington** **NCC-1702**

"Don't say it T'Pol." Damn, he knew she was a Vulcan, why did she find it necessary to remind him constantly. The ears and that ramrod straight posture of hers were dead giveaways. Not to mention her strict professional behavior at all times, except when they were in bed together.

"I must say it. You seem to forget that I am Vulcan and expect me to behave in a manner other than what is normal for a Vulcan." T'Pol informed him with that even-tone she used when aggravated with him.

"No you're wrong. I expect you to behave like my lover, not some robot like creature when we're alone." Would she ever get it? He'd put up with the formal, stiff behavior outside the doors to his quarters, but once they entered this space he wanted her to be softer, more accessible. The only time she seemed warm and cuddly was right after they had sex and that only lasted for 30 minutes or so.

"I'm sorry Captain, but I cannot be more than I am." She wished to please him, but she couldn't let herself go. Maybe someday. Hopefully when they formalized this arrangement.

"Dammit, T'Pol you didn't just make love to the Captain. It was me Trip, remember." I think she does it on purpose. Just to put me in my place or keep me in my place. Whatever the reason it was irritating.

"Trip. I am sorry." She had agreed to only call him Trip when they were alone, but often slipped and called him captain when she became upset with him. He hated it and let her know it.

"Captain to the bridge." The comm sounded cutting off their argument.

Captain Tucker turned, heading out the door on his way to the bridge he tapped the comm button on his wall. "What's up Commander?" He inquired of his first officer Robert Cummings.

"Sensors have a contact off our port. It's weird Captain." Cummings was studying the vid screen. "It looks like one of those ships they have in the museum at Starfleet HQ, sir."

"That's not possible. Those ships have been out of service for close to 100 years." Tucker countered.

The ship before him looked like one of the first warp capable starships Earth ever built. But Cummings like Tucker knew they had all been decommissioned and turned into scrap metal or stuck in museums all over the planet. "According to sensors were looking at an NX-class starship with warp 5 capabilities and hull plating, sir." Cummings sounded confused to say the least.

"I'll be there in a minute. Tucker out."

"Tucker to Engineering. Reese was there any problems with the warp test you did this morning?" Trip commed his chief engineer. Not sure, what he wanted the answer to be.

"No sir. We went to warp eight for 40 minutes then dropped back to our normal cruising speed. There weren't any problems that I'm aware of." Lt. Commander Reese reported.

Turning to T'Pol once they reached the bridge. "Commander T'Pol is there any data to explain that ship out there?" The Captain hoped his Science Officer could find some explanation.

"Sir, it appears we are no longer in our own space." The Commander offered.

"What do you mean not in our own space? These readings say we're right where we're supposed to be." He looked at the sensors. They were the same as earlier. Having tested the warp drive after he and Reese made adjustments to the intermix flow they ended up exactly where they thought they would when they slowed down to warp five.

"We're in the right place, but in another time. So we are not in our own space." Commander T'Pol continued to collect readings from the sensors. "It appears we are in a time parallel to our own."

"Same space different time zone?" Trip questioned.

"No. Same place, same time zone, different timeline, would be more accurate."

"How can we be in the same time, and they're still in those dinosaur ships?" The helmsmen, Ensign Watts, wanted to know.

"We've traveled sideways to their timeline, somehow? When did the sensors pick up the change and why didn't anybody notice before now?" Somebody wasn't doing their job. If they hadn't come into range of that ship, they might still not know there was a problem. They'd run the test and he and T'Pol had a scheduled day off, so when everything came back normal, they retired to his quarters. T'Pol would not have come back on duty until late the next day.

The first several months in a new ship was supposed to be to about working out the kinks, finding, and solving problems, but the last 6 months had been one problem after another. He'd been unable to convince Starfleet to allow him to be part of the design and construction of the Lexington. Because he was going to be its Captain not its Chief Engineer, they felt it unnecessary to allow him any more access than any other Captain of a starship. Had he known what a mistake that was going to turn out to be he'd have fought harder to change the regs. They were on a five-year mission of exploration, so he'd been required to take 3 months leave before boarding the ship in space dock and prepare for the mission.

He and T'Pol had spent half that time in Florida with Lizzie, his parents, and the other half on Vulcan with T'Pol's mother. If it hadn't been for the sightseeing and betrothal ceremony T'Pol refused to explain, but insisted they have, he would have considered their time on Vulcan as a waste. She had been the closest thing to happy he'd ever seen after the priest finished and nodded his head 'yes' to her. They'd made love for hours afterwards, outside, overlooking the Fire Plains, which made him very happy.

He was sure her mother didn't approve of him, but she refrained from making any comment. She spoke to him and asked questions about Earth and his childhood, but remained standoffish. His mother raised him to be respectful and courteous, so he easily slipped into that southern gentlemen persona even though he hadn't felt like one during the rest of their time there.

Trip left the bridge giving his staff instructions, to slow down to warp one, then to figure out what had happened and how to get them back to their own timeline. Upon entering the Mess Hall, he checked the schedule next to what was supposed to be the Captain's mess to see if it was open. He did not agree with the idea of the captain segregating himself from his crew during meals, so he only used the Captain's Mess when they had guests or for private dinners with T'Pol. The rest of the time, it was open for the crew to schedule for their use. Finding it occupied he found a secluded spot away from everyone else so he could drink his coffee and think. He'd started the day off worrying about T'Pol and whatever was up with her lately, and now he had to figure out how to get them back home.

"Bridge to Captain Tucker. We're being hailed, sir. They say they're the Earth starship Enterprise."

"Don't respond until I get there, Ensign." Tucker needed time to figure out what he was going to say. The starship Enterprise in his time had been one of the first ships sent into space with a warp 5 engine. It was currently mothballed at the space museum near Jupiter Station. He wanted somebody, anybody to wake him up and tell him he was having a dream. A very bad dream.

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

"Enterprise this is Captain Tucker of the starship Lexington."

Archer choked loudly as he took in the face on the screen. "Trip Tucker? Is your name Charles Tucker III?" He moved towards the science station where Trip and T'Pol both stood staring at the image before them.

The man on the screen was attempting to stammer out his reply. "Yeah, that's me. T'Pol is that you?" Captain Tucker choked out as his Commander Cummings and Commander T'Pol moved into the frame.

Trip couldn't react. His sleep-deprived brain refused to function or make any sense out of this. He looked to T'Pol trying to decide what exactly her reaction was. Subtle signs of shock, alarm, and he wasn't quite sure but maybe a little intrigue. She wouldn't ever admit to any of it, but he could see it, almost sense it.

She still tried to insist she didn't believe in time travel. While she couldn't account for all Daniels and the other's little games messing with the timeline over the last 3 years she still said she agreed with the Science Directorate decree that time travel was not possible.

His eyes returned to the vid screen and his world stopped. Not only was there another 'Trip' but another T'Pol had joined him. "Damn, I have enough problems with one, now there's two." The words came forth quietly into her ear. Close enough that no one else heard him. So close, in fact, those watching from the other ship noted his familiarity with the Vulcan.

T'Pol didn't have time to decipher what he meant; she must act as the second in command for her Captain. "Yes. I am T'Pol, First Officer of Enterprise." The level of intrigue jumped way up. She was curious about her double, but the way she kept trying to keep from checking out his double told Trip she was really curious about him. Or maybe she was curious about them.

Captain Tucker shook his head as if to better organize his thoughts. "Captain Archer if you have no objection we would like to come within transporter range and beam over. I'm sure you'll agree we have much we need to talk about."

"Fine. You can transport here to the bridge then we can go to my ready room and talk." Archer agreed. "Let us know when you're ready. Archer out." The transmission ended. Jonathon Archer dropped into his chair.

"Captain, should I have a security team come to the bridge before our guests arrive?" Lt. Reed suggested. He'd prefer to be prepared in case the other Trip and T'Pol were hostile. They seemed friendly enough, but that might just be to put them off their guard.

"I don't think that will be necessary Malcolm. They have more firepower than we do and better shields. If they meant us any harm they'd have attacked us by now, don't you think?" Archer appreciated that his tactical officer wanted to protect the crew, but he did get overzealous at times. "I would like you to join us in my ready room when they get here, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir." The Captain was right. They had superior weapons, shields, and a crew ...of 432 according to the biosigns, so they could overpower Enterprise whenever they wished.

"Remember this is a first contact and should be treated as such." Archer reminded his staff. It might be a bit different with alternate timelines and the personnel, but there were protocols to observe. Looking at the bridge crew, he was becoming very aware of how difficult that might be.

Hoshi, Malcolm, and Travis had all locked their gazes on Trip and T'Pol. Whether to gauge the pair's reactions or to settle their own Archer didn't know. He needed them to focus on the problems at hand. "Hoshi, I need you draft some kind of announcement I can make to the crew. We need to prepare them before anyone sees the other Trip or T'Pol."

"Yes, sir. I'll see what I can do." Hoshi had no clue what to say. 'We ran into a starship from another timeline and there are crew members who physically resemble our own crew members. Don't be alarmed. We've done this all before.' She hated time travel and all that implied. And why couldn't the Captain make his own announcement? She was a translator not a speechwriter.

She wanted to know if there might be another Malcolm Reed on board that ship. One who wasn't so stiff and formal. So British. She'd tried to be subtle and plant the idea of dating when she offered to cook for this Malcolm, but he'd been so adamant about there not being anything between him and a subordinate that she never brought it up again. Hell, at this point, she'd settle for being good friends, but he didn't let anyone get that close. He and Trip had become friends, but Malcolm even kept him at a respectable distance. She needed some insider information.

"Trip, T'Pol my ready room." Archer ordered as he left the bridge.

Trip had a thought. "Captain maybe we should ask for a list of the crew on that ship or give them ours so we can see if there are more..." Twins, doubles, alternates? "...crewmembers who need to know they have a double on that ship."

"Not a bad idea. Wouldn't want anyone to run across another 'them' without some warning." Archer agreed.

T'Pol's eyebrow went up. "Warning them will be of little help Captain." She wouldn't have reacted much differently if she had known beforehand. She hadn't shown it but it was a shock to see another T'Pol, but it was even more of a shock, her heart actually skipped a couple of beats, to see another Trip. One who looked exactly like her Trip, except for that tiniest of scars on the right side of his chin.

"Are you two alright? It has to be unsettling to see yourselves like that." There obviously wasn't another Captain Archer if Trip was their captain. This Jonathon Archer wasn't sure he wanted to know anything about another possible double in another timeline. He had enough to worry about in this one and the last one had already died.

Captain Archer saw nothing but the normal blank facial expression from T'Pol and Trip had so many emotions playing across his face Jon had a hard time deciphering them. He did notice, even though they were trying their best to hide it by looking away quickly, their eyes did keep wandering to each other every few seconds.

He'd heard rumors about a romance since right after they entered the expanse and they did seem to be closer, but he was never quite convinced they were involved romantically. He assumed Trip would tell him if things got that serious. Maybe he should ask. Trip might think his captain would object because of the Starfleet no fraternization rules. After all Trip knew he'd broken things off with Erika Hernandez for that reason, but he was the Captain and that meant he had to ensure there were no command issues with subordinates. It came with the job and he knew that when he accepted the commission. He did not intend to ever enforce those rules against anyone else and if Starfleet wanted to then they'd have to do it without any assistance from him. He was free to pursue Erika again as she had been promoted to Captain, so the rules no longer applied to him either.

---

"Welcome Captain Tucker." Archer offered his hand; a slight chill ran down his spine.

Tucker took the hand with his own. "Thanks Captain Archer. I have to say this is the strangest feeling." He said as his eyes turned to Trip and T'Pol standing together on the other side of the table.

"My First Officer Commander T'Pol and my Chief Engineer Commander Charles Tucker III. We all call him Trip." Introductions seemed redundant, but Archer didn't know what else to say.

Tucker countered. "This is Robert Cummings, my First Officer and Commander T'Pol, my Science Officer. If you have no objections Commander T'Pol is anxious to compare notes with your people to see if they have any ideas on how we get back to where we're supposed to be?"

"No problem. T'Pol is also our Science Officer. She'll be happy to help in any way she can. Right T'Pol?" Archer waited for her response.

"Yes, sir. If you'll follow me Commander." T'Pol motioned for Commander T'Pol to proceed ahead of her back to the bridge.

The Commanders exited and Captain Tucker turned back to Archer. "The only other crewmember who has a double on our ship is Lt. Malcolm Reed. He's in charge of our Armory. We have more personnel so the duties of tactical and security have been assigned to other officers."

Hoshi interrupted on the comm. "Captain Archer I have Admiral Forrest for you, sir. Should I put him through?"

"I'll take it in my quarters, Ensign. Give me 5 minutes."

"Yes, sir." Hoshi answered.

"I was hoping to have some time before I had to tell Starfleet about this. Forrest must be calling in response to my message about our R&R on the first suitable planet we find."

Captain Tucker was concerned. "What exactly do you intend to tell him Captain?" He didn't know anything about this Starfleet, but if they were anything like his he was sure they'd insist Archer try to gain access to as much of their technology as he could.

"Good question. Maybe I shouldn't mention anything until I know what I want to say." Captain Archer wasn't going to keep it from them, but he knew Forrest would want them to try to get the Lexington to a Starfleet facility as soon as possible. He also knew that if he were the Captain of that ship he'd want to keep as far away from any other ships as possible. The ripple effects of changes to a timeline could be catastrophic and Archer had had enough of people playing games with Earth's future. Meeting up with other species could also present a whole set of problems.

Archer left.

"So do you go by Trip or Charles?" Trip knew the answer the minute Charles left his lips.

"I hate Charles. My Mom's the only one who ever called me that." Tucker grimaced.

"Me too. I could always tell how much trouble I was in when she yelled for me. Charles meant she was upset, but Charles Tucker III meant....

Both men said "...prepare to be smacked up side the head as soon as she got close enough."

Tucker chuckled. "Seems southern mothers are alike no matter what timeline they're in."

"Yeah, I still don't argue with mine." Trip added. "I need some coffee. Care to join me in the Mess Hall?"

"I could use a cup myself. Been a hell of a day so far and I don't see it getting much better anytime soon."

Sitting at a table drinking their coffee. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Trip asked.

"Are T'Pol and I involved?" Tucker questioned back.

"Yeah, but how'd you know?"

"I've been wondering the same thing about you. Seemed like a pretty safe bet you'd be curious about us too." Tucker saw the closeness between the two so thought he knew the answer. "We're betrothed according to Vulcan standards, which I guess is the same as being engaged in human terms."

"Don't Vulcans have to go through a betrothal ceremony for that to be true?" T'Pol had explained that when she rejected Koss and got released from her betrothal to remain on Enterprise.

"We had one 6 months ago. Just before our mission started. The wedding can't happen until after this mission is over, so it's an engagement for 4½ more years. There's some reason for the wait, but T'Pol says she'll explain it later. The ceremony we went through seems to have been enough to seal the deal and we're together, so I don't really care." Tucker knew there was a lot T'Pol wasn't telling him, but he choose to let it go if it meant they could be a couple. "So are you and your T'Pol a couple?"

"I'd like to be, but we're just very good friends." Trip got a far away look in his eyes. He wished things were different between him and T'Pol, but he'd given up on that dream the last time she told him it wasn't going to happen.

"You seem like more. She lets you get very close to her. My T'Pol doesn't let me that close in public and we share quarters." Tucker found it strange. His T'Pol only relaxed in private with him to a state this T'Pol maintained in public with everyone.

"Maybe it's the neuropressure. As I'm sure you know it's kind of intimate and involves a lot of trust between the partners." It had terrified Trip at first to get that close to her, but eventually he looked forward to their time together.

"Neuropressure? T'Pol mentioned it a couple of times, but it sounds like glorified massage therapy, so I've never bothered with it."

"You might want to reconsider. It's much more than massage and it's why we've become friends and learned to trust each other totally." When the words came out of his mouth, Trip realized how stupid he was being about continuing neuropressure with T'Pol. He trusted her more than he trusted anyone and he needed to trust himself where his friendship with her was concerned.

On the bridge the two T'Pol's had exchanged all their data and discussed their theories about what happened.

"Ensign Sato says your Captain went to the Mess Hall with Commander Tucker. I can take you there if you'd like." T'Pol wished to speak to her double, but not here.

"Okay. I could use a cup of tea. I assume you have mint tea?" Commander T'Pol was trying to size up this other version of herself.

The pair stepped off the turbolift into the corridor. "Commander T'Pol did you attend Starfleet?"

"Yes I did. The Vulcan High Council sent me. I was to graduate, return to Vulcan and marry. But I met Captain Tucker, at the Academy, and my plans changed." She was supposed to teach when she returned to Vulcan, but found she wished to explore space with Tucker.

"Then you and Captain Tucker are involved?"

"Yes. We have been together for 2 years. We are betrothed but our kal'i'farr and bonding will not take place until after our mission is complete." T'Pol had no intention of serving on a starship once the two were bonded. Whether they would go to Earth or Vulcan she did not know, but they had time to figure that out.

"It is possible to bond with a human?" T'Pol had not thought it possible.

"The priest at our betrothal ceremony said the Kah-ka was established and indicated he foresaw no problem with completing the bond when my time comes." T'Pol had tried to get Tucker to participate in neuropressure to help forge that connection between them, but so far, the only thing Vulcan he was willing to learn was the language. She planned to explain all this to him once he'd read and studied the Kir'Shara and before the time approached.

A Vulcan priest had created the start of a bond with a human. "I was not aware of this possibility." Her other self on the other Enterprise never mentioned if she had bonded with Trip and T'Pol had not thought to ask. There was hope that she could have a bond with Trip. This was very welcomed news, indeed.

Commander T'Pol noted the interest in bonding with Tucker. "You and Commander Tucker are mates?"

"Not at present." T'Pol answered cutting off any further discussion of her clear implication.

Tucker's eyes followed those of the man across the table from him as he focused on the door, just as both T'Pol's entered the room. Trip raised his arm motioning for them to come sit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

**Alice Through the Looking Glass or Alice Down the Rabbit Hole?**

The two captains entered the officer's lounge on the Lexington, where their teams were meeting to discuss the accident that had brought the starship here and the solution to getting them back to their own timeline.

"Malcolm give it up I'm telling you I've seen the schematics for this thing and we can't build one and even if we could we don't have enough power to make it work." Trip had been excited when he first saw the replicator. It was similar to the one they'd seen on that mystery repair station awhile back and he had wanted to see if Enterprise could use one. It made whatever you needed on the ship from food to parts. "Most of their technology involves quantum physics and theory that's way over my head. Even T'Pol doesn't understand it all, so just give it up. Please."

Captain Tucker glanced at his Science Officer. "May I speak to you outside a moment Commander T'Pol?"

Trip mouthed 'sorry' to the Commander as she followed her Captain into the corridor. "You let him see the schematics. I thought we agreed that was not a good idea. It goes against our prime directive." T'Pol had been the one to point that out and he was angry.

How to explain her decision to trust Trip Tucker was too complicated. "He gave me his word he would not disclose any information to anyone else nor would he attempt to incorporate any of the technology into Enterprise's systems." She failed to tell him not to disclose that he'd seen the schematics.

"So he gave you his word and you just trusted him? I know he's an alternate version of me, but do you think that's a good enough reason to trust him?" He wasn't sure she trusted him that much, but why else would she have trusted this other Trip?

--

Commander T'Pol remembered her earlier discussion with his T'Pol. "Captain Tucker mentioned that you and Trip practice neuropressure together and have for several months?"

"Yes, we have for over a year now." T'Pol confirmed.

"Can I ask why if you are not mated to him you would find it acceptable to involve yourself so intimately with him?" Commander T'Pol knew how close the participants became, especially after a year.

"It began as a way to help him with sleep. He developed nightmares after the death of his sister and was unable to function. But it developed into more over time and we continue because we find it mutually beneficial and we are friends." T'Pol wondered if the discussion with Captain Tucker had prompted Trip to continue their neuropressure sessions. He had just contacted her that morning requesting they meet in her quarters that evening. "You and Captain Tucker do not practice neuropressure?"

"I have suggested it several times, but he has always dismissed the idea until now. He suggested that he might be interested in learning what the practice was about and how to perform it. I can only assume it has something to do with what your Trip told him about the sessions between you." Commander T'Pol didn't care why, she was just thankful he had decided to try it. That's why she knew she could trust Commander Tucker. His T'Pol was Vulcan and as such would not trust or be trusted easily. And trust was the one thing she was absolutely sure existed between this Trip and T'Pol.

What had Trip said about their neuropressure sessions? Perhaps she should inquire this evening just to be sure; he knew that Vulcans considered such discussions intimate. T'Pol didn't think he would discuss private matters, but it couldn't hurt to be sure.

--

"Commander T'Pol are you going to answer me?" She was distracted. He'd never seen her like this, letting her mind wander while on duty.

"I trust him and therefore I allowed him to view classified material. If you have a problem with that then do what you think is necessary." She needed to end this discussion. She couldn't tell him why she trusted him or that she trusted that Trip more than she trusted her own Trip.

There was a feeling she got from him and feelings were not something she had ever discussed with Captain Tucker. As far as she knew, he still thought Vulcans didn't have emotions or didn't feel emotions. Trip knew this to be untrue. She'd been studying the pair. His T'Pol trusted him enough to let him see her emotions. Not that they were hard to miss being so close to the surface, but miss them the rest of the humans did. Trip caught every subtle clue to his T'Pol's emotions and seemed to delight in the knowledge of their existence. Perhaps he could also perceive hers also. Now that she knew this level of closeness and trust were possible, between a Vulcan and human, she could only hope that she and Captain Tucker would eventually become that intimate with one another.

"Is there anything else he was granted access to?" He'd given him a tour of engineering, but did not allow him to get close enough to anything to really see it clearly.

"No, but there are some minor upgrades that could be made to their warp core to stabilize it at warp 5 and possibly allow them to obtain slightly higher speeds for short periods of time. It involves no additional technology only adjustments to the commander's calculations and specs." Commander T'Pol had noticed the calculations and the adjustments to the current specs for the plasma injectors and intermix ratio several days ago. "I wish to see that Commander Tucker receives these adjustments when we leave."

"Fine, just wait until we're leaving before you give any modifications to him. I'm sorry I got upset, but you're the one crewmember on this ship I never thought I'd have to worry about breaking the rules. I'm going to trust you knew what you were doing, but I want your word it won't happen again."

"You have it. We should return." Commander T'Pol turned having seen the questions and disappointment in his eyes, but there was nothing she could do to change it.

Hours of studying data and discussing the causes produced very little. The best they could come up with was that during the warp test they had passed through a tear in space without noticing. The best course of action was to retrace their steps, find the tear, pass back through it, and return home. They were trying to determine how to seal the tear once they went back through it to prevent any other ships crossing into the alternate timelines.

---

"So what else did you get access to over there Trip?" Archer wanted to know.

"Nothing Captain. I asked about the replicator and Commander T'Pol explained that she had determined we would be unable to use their technology with Starfleet's current level of technology in this timeline. And they have a directive that says they cannot interfere with any other civilizations natural development. And that means doing nothing that will advance technology or interfere in the internal workings of the government. I gave her my word I wouldn't say anything about how it works or try to make one. Not that I could anyway. I was serious about it being over my head. It reminded me of those quantum beacons Daniels gave us the specs and materials for a while back. We'll never be able to use this technology, at least not for years. We don't have the raw materials or the knowledge yet." Trip built those beacons once, but couldn't do it again. He had an excellent memory, but most of the work was beyond anything he'd learned.

"I knew the Vulcans held us back, but a 100 years." His father would have seen his work come to fruition.

Trip could see the hurt in his friend's eyes. "Don't go there Jon. It's not worth it. We don't know how much of a difference the Vulcans made. According to the history files I read, the other timeline is a lot less hostile than ours is. They had wars similar to the ones we did, but the death and destruction was nowhere near as bad as in our history. Their government united fifty years earlier than ours did and the Vulcans hadn't even been there yet." Trip had considered this when the Lexington showed up, but it really wasn't helpful. The world Lexington came from was a kinder, gentler place than the Earth they had grown up on. There was no way of knowing how things could have been different. He couldn't live with what ifs; they made things harder than they already were.

"You're right. It'll only make me crazy thinking about it." Archer had let that all go and revisiting his resentment now would not be healthy or productive. "You still aren't getting enough sleep are you, Trip?" He could see the dark circles starting under his eyes and the tight lines across his forehead.

"I'll be fine." T'Pol and he had a neuropressure session scheduled. "I'll get a full night's sleep tonight." He was actually looking forward to it. Their time together had such a calming effect on him and he'd missed it and her. "Jon, we need to omit all this from your reports. Can't have Starfleet debriefing me on things I promised not to talk about."

"Get out of here. I'm sure there's something important you need to do." Archer waved him away.

---

Trip lay on his back with his head on the meditation pillow. "T'Pol can I ask you something?"

"Yes." She replied simply. She used to tell him she might not answer him, but soon found she always answered his questions.

"How important is a betrothal ceremony to Vulcans?"

"I think I explained this to you before. It is when the initial bond is formed between a couple who is expected to fully bond as mates later in their life." T'Pol knew why he'd asked. Captain Tucker must have told him of the ceremony. "Why are you concerned about this ceremony?"

"Captain Tucker and Commander T'Pol had a ceremony, but she has not explained what it means to him. I get the feeling she hasn't explained a lot about Vulcan culture to him. It doesn't seem right to start a bond with him without telling him about it." Trip was sure he wouldn't object, but he still had a right to know. Trip wasn't sure what a bond was, but he did know it was important.

"If this is true there is little you can do about it. It is a private matter between Commander T'Pol and her betrothed." T'Pol knew she was walking a fine line here. It went against what it meant to be Vulcan to hide such an important thing from the one you declared to be your chosen one, but it was a private matter. And what exactly did Trip know of bonds? They'd only discussed what she just repeated to him.

"I looked in their Vulcan database and there's less information about mating in it than in ours. I could give him what we have. It would at least let him know there are questions he needs to ask her. Or should I just stay out of it?" There weren't details about a mating bond in the database, but it did talk about the betrothal bond and couples remaining together after their marriage, for a Vulcan year, so their mating bond could form and strengthen.

"I cannot tell you what you should do. Do you see him as a friend or is it that he is another you?" Not that it mattered. She was curious though.

"Both I think." He didn't know what it was. "I guess I'll think about it a bit longer and see what happens." Captain Tucker had given him all the language lesson material his T'Pol had given him. He said it took him 3 months to read basic Vulcan. The Captain had begun to read the Kir'Shara on his own and hadn't informed Commander T'Pol he could read and understand any Vulcan at all. He wanted to surprise her.

"You will know what the right thing to do is." T'Pol didn't know what he'd do, but she would not influence him either way.

"Have you read that Kir'Shara they keep talking about?"

"I have looked it over. It appears to be an interpretation of the original teachings of Surak." She hadn't had time to study it in depth. The other T'Pol had told her that a group that used to be known as the Syrrannites had found it. They were no longer known by this name, as the teachings had become the accepted works of Surak on all of Vulcan. This same group existed in T'Pol's Vulcan as well.

"Well Captain Tucker says he's been reading it without his T'Pol knowing. Would it contain the information he needs?" Trip was determined to read it for himself, but he had to learn the language first. He wished he'd done that earlier.

"What I have read suggest, it does." Perhaps she would seek out more information about this document. She had read small passages. It spoke of bonds and melding and other taboo subjects on her home world.

Trip turned on his side to face her. "T'Pol can you explain to me what it means when something is intimate to Vulcans?" He could see the confusion in her eyes. "I mean... well you said when you told me your age that Vulcans consider that intimate and calling me by my name or nickname is intimate, but then so is neuropressure. They seem like very different things, but you seem to treat them all as if they were equally intimate."

"Vulcans do not form close relationships with others like humans do. We are close to our parents, our children, and our mates. We may have close relationships with those we work with, but would not share personal information with them. Any such sharing of private things requires a level of trust and closeness to another to make it possible for us to share our innermost selves." There was more to it, but she wasn't ready to tell him more. He was still very fearful of letting her in again.

"So you trust me enough to know I'd keep your secrets as if they were my own." He liked that. What an idiot he'd been to let his fantasies get in the way of their being friends.

"I trust that we are the best of friends and you would not betray my trust by divulging what you know I consider intimate to anyone." Well that took care of the discussion she wished to have. He acknowledged that neuropressure was intimate and that meant he would keep it private.

"Well, thank you and you're right I would never betray your trust. Are you sure, I'm going to be able to sleep? I feel different this time." He usually felt sleepy after a session, but tonight he felt full of energy. Lighter, no stress, and happy. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this good.

"I explained the new movements would give you more energy, but they will also make it easier for you to relax and sleep when you wish to. You will gain more control over you emotional state." She would continue with the new movements until she could determine if it was possible for a bond to form between them. If it could then she would explain it all to him and let him decide if he wished to proceed. If no bond could form, she'd have to decide how to proceed in a more normal human way to further their relationship. No use getting his hopes up or concerning him about something until she knew if it was possible or not.

"If you say so." He sat up and began putting the pillows back where she kept them under the bench. Once done, he pulled his sweats back on and put his shirt on. Slipping his feet into his shoes, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm going to go get some sleep and let you meditate. Thanks and good night, T'Pol."

"Thank you and good night, Trip."

----

"We've found a perfect planet Captain," Travis enthusiastically informed Archer.

"Really? What do you think T'Pol?" Archer wished to get a little more information before accepting his helmsman's assessment.

"It is a Minshara class planet with several climatic regions, all within transporter range. There are no inhabitants and Ensign Mayweather is correct, it seems suitable for shore leave for the crew." T'Pol told him.

"Lieutenant Reed would you put together a security team to transport down and check it out. Take Trip and Travis with you." The captain included the Ensign because he didn't often get to go on away missions and he'd enjoy being one of the first to see the planet. He'd also be a good one to see if the planet was a good choice to let the crew to take some time off. "You might want to see if Captain Tucker wishes to send any of his security teams down with you."

"Yes sir." Reed motioned for Travis to come with him as he headed to the turbolift.

----

Security teams swept the planet and found it to be uninhabited and suitable for some rest and relaxation for both crews. Groups had been transporting down all morning.

Its perfect Trip thought as he rested his back against the tree, overlooking the most beautiful beach he'd seen in years. It looked like a picture postcard from home. He'd found a quiet spot where he could be alone and relax. He inhaled and exhaled, breathing like T'Pol had taught him to do during neuropressure. She'd told him it would be no problem for him to learn to meditate using these breathing techniques, so he was going to try it on his own. He'd wanted to question her about it, but decided he didn't want to offend her by asking why it would be so easy for him to meditate when he'd always heard it took Vulcans years to learn to do it properly.

It was quiet. He laid there with his eyes still closed feeling the breeze blowing across his skin. It felt good. Cool air on his sun-drenched chest. His eyes opened slowly straining to see with the sunlight overhead. The dream he just had was the most vivid, real one he'd ever had. T'Pol had been as seductive and passionate as she had been when she seduced him in her quarters during the neuropressure session that turned to talk of being jealous and attracted to one another. He'd never felt this rested after one his erotic dreams and it felt so real.

Trip turned slightly pulling the blanket that had bunched up under him free. Wait a minute a blanket? He'd been leaning against a tree. Where had it come from? No, it couldn't be. His dream T'Pol had brought it with her when she appeared out of the trees. She'd had the blanket and pillow from her bed with her. The pillow he just lifted his head off.

She had really been here. Ran her fingers through his hair and down the sides of his neck. Slowly she moved to lift his shirt up over his head kissing upward to his lips as she went. The next thing he knew they were both naked and touching each other and kissing. Those deep passionate kisses he loved, where it felt like she was trying to reach the back of his throat with her tongue. It was so much better this time. He looked around. No T'Pol in sight, but he could smell her scent all around him.

"Son-of-a-bitch she did it again." He said to the air. She'd appeared as if it was no big deal. Laid out the blanket and pulled him onto it removing his clothes and making love to him. Slow and deliberate. Full of passion and...then she left? The cool breeze teased at his naked skin. It really wasn't a dream.

Trip gathered his clothes, dressed, folded the blanket and contacted Enterprise. "Tucker to the transporter."

"Commander, this is Ensign Dodge. What can I do for you, sir?"

"Transport me back to Enterprise, now." He was in the mood for his usual banter with the Ensign. The young man got a kick out of his 'get me out of dodge' line.

Trip materialized holding the blanket and pillow. Dodge had a quizzical expression on his face.

"T'Pol left them on the planet. I thought she might want them back." Trip offered before the Ensign could ask, stomping off the pad.

The expression on Dodge's face grew more confused. "When did Commander T'Pol do that, sir? She's been on the bridge since the Captain went to the planet with Ensign Mayweather." Travis had bullied the Captain into accompanying him on a mountain climb, as he had ordered Travis not to go climbing again without a partner after his mishap on Risa.

"Are you sure T'Pol hasn't left the ship?" She had to have left. Trip hadn't imagined it. He was holding the proof.

"Positive sir, I've been here all day and she hasn't been here."

His mind reeled on his way to see Phlox. What the hell is going on? Had it been a dream? Am I that far gone? That can't be it dreams don't leave their bedding. Then another thought struck him. Could it have been the other T'Pol? No way. He wasn't that clueless that he wouldn't have known the difference, was he? And why would she do that? She's with Captain Tucker. T'Pol had given him such a hard time about his indiscriminate behavior with woman, in the past, and he had absolutely no defense for this.

Trip entered sickbay, still holding the blanket and pillow, to find his alternate self-sitting in a chair as if he were waiting on someone. "I take it you're looking for the Doc too?" Trip inquired knowing that was the only reason he'd be sitting here.

"Our doctor went to the planet for a couple of days and I need something for a headache, so I thought I'd ask your doctor, but he's not here." Captain Tucker massaged his temples. "You always carry around your blankey and pillow?" He said it with the same sarcastic edge the man he was speaking to often used.

Trip was more than a little relieved that Tucker didn't recognize them. "It's not mine. I was returning it to someone, but turns out it wasn't theirs." And Trip had no idea who they belonged to. "Are you and Commander T'Pol going to take advantage of the downtime? Maybe visit the planet?"

"No. T'Pol says Vulcans believe to rest is to rest, to cease using energy, so it's quite illogical to run up and down on green grass using energy instead of saving it. She does have a point. How many vacations have you gone on where you had to rest up when you got home?" Besides, she'd never relax outdoors with him. There would be no privacy and therefore too much of a risk of being seen.

"Phlox is preparing for his sleep cycle, so he's probably in the Mess Hall stocking up on calories. He usually doesn't take long." Trip watched Tucker. His headache, the sweating, and the red streaks running down his neck from scratching.

"Good afternoon Captain, Commander what can I do for you?" Phlox asked with an unusually serious expression upon entering sickbay.

"You first, Captain." Trip told him.

"I have this headache and our doctor's on the planet. Can you help?" Tucker asked with some desperation in his voice.

Phlox ran the scanner over the obviously uncomfortable Captain. "You are having an allergic reaction." Phlox looked to Trip. "Much like the Commander here used to have on occasion. I assume your doctor had no more luck finding the cause than I did."

"No he ran every test he could think of and nothing. He treats my symptoms whenever this happens. I was hoping you could do the same." Tucker studied the two men. They seemed to know something he didn't.

"Well, Captain I can offer you a treatment that will rid you of this problem, but if you are anything like our Mr. Tucker you may find it objectionable." Phlox smiled that huge smile of his.

Trip smiled at the Captain. "Take it from me don't ask any questions. Just do what he says and you'll be cured. His treatments are rather unique."

"What exactly does this treatment involve?" Tucker asked with trepidation.

"I will give you a preparation to drink. It's probably best if you do as Commander Tucker did and close your eyes before you drink it. In a day or two you will feel the need to expel the toxins and the treatment from your body and all I ask is you do so into this bag and bring it back to me." Phlox held the bag up, waiting to see if the Captain would ask any more questions.

Tucker turned to Trip. "He's asking me to drink something I'm not going to like isn't he?" And he wants it returned in a barf bag. Unique didn't even begin to describe this.

"I told you not to ask any questions." Trip emphasized as his eyes went to the various cages and containers scattered around the room. "Trust me it's really better that way. If it's any consolation it worked for me, so I'm sure, it will work for you. Close your eyes, plug your nose and drink."

"I don't know the doctor so the question is do I trust an alternate version of myself? I really want to get my hands on whoever came up with time travel." This experience got stranger by the day.

"I wouldn't mind that myself. We've had more than a few run ins with people or species who manipulate timelines, but they are reluctant to tell us much. Can't risk us messing things up worse than they were already." Captain Archer had given Captain Tucker all Enterprise's logs, but obviously, he hadn't gotten to the Enterprise in the other timeline yet. T'Pol suggested it might be better to let him read the logs and discover it on his own before talking to him about his other alternate self's life. Trip agreed with her. Having already met his son from another time and knowing a version of himself had existed there, hadn't made the shock of this encounter any less jarring and Captain Tucker hadn't dealt with time travel as a reality before. His world believed it was possible, but had only dealt with it in theory until now.

Tucker shook his head. "Okay, Doctor Phlox if Commander Tucker says it's safe and it works I guess I have no choice." He always had a choice, but suffering with these headaches and this infernal itching because he didn't like creepy, crawly...Maybe I should just stop thinking about it before I talk myself out of this.

He closed his eyes, drank whatever was in the cup, took the barf bag, told the doctor, "Thanks I'll be back in a day or two," and promptly left. He could hear T'Pol when he told her what he'd done. 'How could you do such an illogical thing as drink something and not know what it was?' She'd never accept he didn't want to know without him explaining why not. He wasn't prepared to tell her he was afraid to ask because it involved bugs, worms, or something equally unsettling.

With the Captain gone Phlox turned his attention to Trip. "Now, Commander what can I do for you?"

"Scan me for anything that's not right." Trip said.

"Can you be a little more specific? What are your symptoms?" Phlox usually had more to go on. Commander Tucker didn't like being here, but when he did show up he always provided adequate details of his ailments.

"Just see if there's anything wrong with me. Anything usual in my system or some other problem." Telling Phlox, he'd hallucinated or whatever that was with T'Pol on the planet, was not an option. Phlox would insist he stay in sickbay until he could find the cause, Trip was not going to spend his shore leave on a biobed convincing himself, and the doc he wasn't crazy.

Of course, Phlox found nothing wrong. He was well-rested and checked out in perfect health.

---

Travis and Archer were scaling up the side of the mountain. Travis waited for the captain to reach him and let his mind wander to his last mountain climbing excursion. If only the handholds hadn't moved that would have been the best time.

Archer tied his lines off and Travis began his climb once again.

"Captain did the sensors say anything about the rock faces moving on this mountain?" Travis watched as the change took place above him once he had a firm grip on the handhold.

"Not that I know of, but I'm sure it would have shown up." Archer watched as the Travis continued his ascent.

"Maybe it doesn't move unless someone is climbing, sir. It's challenging, but not impossible. You can take the next leg if you want to." Travis offered not wanting to have all the fun himself. He continued the climb.

"That's alright Travis. I'll let you be the trailblazer this time out. I'm just here because you needed a climbing partner." Archer felt guilty about insisting he take a partner for safety when no one would go with the young man.

Archer did finally give in and took over as lead climber for the last leg to the top. Travis was a little fatigued after having managed to get them this far. Archer pulled himself up and lay down on his back once he reached the top. That was the most exhilarating climb having to evaluate your options just before you advanced. He was out of breath and let his eyes drift shut and his mind began to wander.

Travis soon pulled himself over the top to join his captain, who was on his back with a woman straddling his chest. As Travis got closer, he saw the outfit she wore. She was all decked out in rather form fitting climbing gear and arguing with Captain Archer. He surveyed the area. How had she gotten up here? Sensors couldn't have missed her biosigns. There were no women mountain climbers on Enterprise or Travis would have known. If Captain Archer had met someone on Lexington, he would have told Travis to seek her out to climb with him. The only reason Captain Archer agreed to join him was that there was no one else who climbed.

"Captain, are you alright, sir?" Travis tried to gain his attention. "Captain."

Captain Archer and the woman answered. "What?" Turning toward the young man, who had interrupted their argument.

"Captain Hernandez? When did Columbia get here? How did Columbia get here, ma'am?" Last reports from Starfleet, 4 days ago, had Columbia stuck in space dock trying to get their warp drive up and running. It would have taken them a week or more to get here from Earth.

Captain Archer's eyes glazed over and he the strangest expression appeared on his face. "They just arrived, a couple of hours ago, and Erika transported down to see me, Ensign."

"I'm sorry, sir, but are you alright? That's not possible. Columbia's light years away from here." Travis was beginning to think maybe they got this all wrong and Enterprise was in another timeline.

"She's right here Ensign. How can you say it's not possible?" Archer insisted.

"Why is she wearing that outfit?" She had less clothing on now and where had her climbing gear gone too? "And don't you think your behavior is inappropriate, sir?" There's no way a Starfleet Captain would be dressed like that in front of a subordinate. In private with Captain Archer, maybe. And Captain Archer would never be fondling a woman who was straddling him like that, with someone else present.

The mountain changing like that might have been a weird coincidence, but this was starting to make Travis Mayweather very wary. He needed to contact Enterprise, but what should he say? The Captains experiencing some real life fantasy and I think we need to get him back to the ship.

"Mayweather to Enterprise. Enterprise come in." There was no response. "Enterprise this is Travis, come in." When no response came, Travis opted to move away from the Captains. They were still arguing, but had become very engrossed in each other and had forgotten he was there.

"Travis. Travis, where'd you go?" Archer yelled for the Ensign.

"Captain I'm here." Travis yelled back as he moved out from the grouping of rocks he'd taken refuge behind. His eyes scanned the area in search of Captain Hernandez.

"You looking for someone, Ensign?" Archer was afraid he'd say 'yes' because then he'd have to deal with whatever it was that just happened and if he said 'no' he'd have to deal with having had the most realistic dream ever.

"Yeah, where'd she go Captain? Captain Hernandez wasn't dressed for climbing and she shouldn't just wander around up here by herself." Travis moved to look around for the missing officer.

"So Erika was really here?" Well, this wasn't working out to be the relaxing experience he had expected it to be. "I'm not sure where she went. I don't even know where she came from. Columbia's back in space dock and that's where Captain Hernandez should be."

"I tried to tell you that, sir. But you insisted they arrived a few hours ago and it was fine."

Archer began remembering. "When she first appeared it seemed so natural that she should be here." It was like the last time he'd seen her. They argued about them being a couple again and then they... "She said Starfleet sent them to meet us and it sounded right, so I just accepted it. Then..." Archer was embarrassed.

"That's alright, sir. You really don't need to fill in the then part. When I realized what ...I thought it best to leave you two alone." Now Travis was embarrassed. He didn't want to think about another guy's sex life. His own was mote than enough.

"Travis, I need a favor. Can we leave out the part about what she...what we...?" Archer really didn't want any of this to end up in a Starfleet report, but if Erika ever saw it then whatever this was that happened he didn't want to think about her reaction. Fantasy, memory, and reality all mixed together to make a really strange, but stimulating experience.

"That's fine, sir. I wouldn't want to explain that either." How would he explain this to the real Captain Hernandez? "Let me know what your reports going to say and I'll go along." Travis was going to suggest they drop the part about him being there altogether, but then how would Captain Archer be able to convince anyone that it really happened? "Captain I can't get in touch with Enterprise. They're not answering my hails."

"Then let's get ourselves off this mountain. The sooner the better." Archer wanted to know what was going on.

----

Reed had transported down to see about some reports of strange happenings. No one had been hurt, but he'd received a list of reports of people seeing airplanes, horses, knights, people who just shouldn't be here, and some strange characters come to life. None of it showed up on sensors. Crewmembers hadn't been able to contact either ship with their communicators. Walking around he came across Hoshi dancing with Lt. Malcolm Reed, surrounded by a group of adoring men.

She was wearing a dress out of some fairy tale. Pure white fabric wrapped alluringly around her body. Showing every curve. The hemline just below her ankles. Half-length sleeves just above the elbow with a scooped neckline. A turquoise ribbon around her waist. She was beautiful. He wished he could watch her forever, but it was unnerving watching her dancing with someone who looked like him, while all those men vied for her attention.

"Ensign Sato. What are you doing?"

Startled Hoshi released her companion. "Dancing with Lt. Reed, sir." It was odd telling Lt. Reed she was with his other self, but it was his own fault.

Malcolm spoke to one of the security team from Lexington. The Ensign activated a beacon and dematerialized. He re-materialized with Lt. Reed from the Lexington in tow.

"I'm sorry Hoshi, but that is not either of us. As you can see, we're both right here, so we have a problem. We need to figure out who that is with you?" Malcolm had just left Lexington and had seen the Lieutenant waiting in the transporter room for his turn to beam down to the planet.

Hoshi was confused. "I don't know sir. I had a date with..." She pointed to who she assumed was the real Armory Officer. "...him." She pointed to her dance partner. "He showed up with this dress and these other people arrived...." She should have known it was too good to be true. The clothes, his and hers, the perfect music, a ball with all these men asking her to dance. Just what she'd dreamed about as a young girl. Why did this always happen to her? A guy seemed so interesting and interested in her and then turned out to be a weirdo.

Malcolm Reed saw the look of horror on Hoshi's face. Reality broke through the haze she had been in just moments ago. Who were all these people and whom was she dancing with? He reached out to comfort her when he heard his name being called.

"Hey, Mal." Trip yelled from across the courtyard. He was holding a young woman's hand. He turned to look at everyone gathered and took in their surroundings. "Hi everybody. I'd like you all to meet Lizzie Tucker."

"Uh Trip I thought...." Malcolm paused.

"Yeah, Mal my sister Lizzie can't possibly be standing here holding my hand but..." Raising their clasped hands up in the air. "I know it's not true, but please tell me you all see her too because I can't take one more of these dreams that aren't really dreams. Trust me they're really hard on a guy." Trip was barely holding on to his sanity and he needed confirmation that he wasn't losing his mind. Talking to her had been good, but dreams didn't have substance, and Lizzie couldn't really be here.

Travis and Captain Archer joined the group. "This is like something out of _Alice_ _Through the Looking Glass." _Travis volunteered as he checked out the ballroom and courtyard.

A large rabbit appeared. "Oh, my paws and whiskers! I'll be late."" Said rabbit then turned, ran into the bushes across the courtyard and dropped into a hole.

A young girl, wearing a blue dress and white apron ran up coming from the same direction as the rabbit had come from, stopping in front of Travis. "Excuse me, sir. Have you seen a rather large white rabbit with a yellow waistcoat and white gloves here about?"

Travis absently pointed to the bushes where the large white rabbit went.

"Thank you very much." She curtsied and ran after the rabbit.

Trip still grasping Lizzie's hand followed the girl; followed by Travis and Malcolm. "No Travis this is more like Alice Down the Rabbit Hole." He stood looking down the hole the girl had followed the rabbit down.

Trip turned to face the rest of their party. Captain Tucker was walking towards them. He was all battered and bruised.

"Lizzie? What is she doing here?" He asked Trip.

"She's not really here. At least I don't think...She can't be here because in this timeline she died when the Xindi attacked Earth." There was pain is his voice, but not the debilitating pain that he had experienced in the past when speaking of his sister. "I think she's some kind of manifestation of my dreams or fantasies. I read your database this morning and realized the Xindi never attacked your Earth and she's still alive in your timeline. I was thinking about her and how much I wished I could have said goodbye and then there she was."

"What happened to you Captain?" Archer inquired.

"I came looking for Trip and you Captain Archer. I ran into an old acquaintance from the Academy. He tormented T'Pol and I all the way through until our last year. Let's just say I exacted some payback for all those years of having to be the proper Starfleet cadet and not popping the bastard. I figured out he wasn't real and it was my fantasy, so I beat him to a pulp and I feel much better." Captain Tucker rolled his shoulders forward. T'Pol had kept him from getting into an altercation with Finny so he didn't risk getting booted out of the Academy. It felt really good to let him have it even if it wasn't real.

"Good afternoon all." The old man who spoke was wearing a green robe.

"Does anybody know who this is?" Malcolm asked wanting to know whose imaginings brought him forth. All the other people who were not real were suddenly gone.

When no one responded, Captain Archer spoke up. "Who are you?"

"I am the caretaker of this place, Captain Archer." The man answered.

"You know my name?" Archer asked.

"Yes. We know all of you." He pointed at each. "Captain Tucker, Lt. Reed and Lt. Reed, Ensign Hoshi Sato, Ensign Travis Mayweather, and of course Commander Tucker. We've just discovered you don't understand all this. These experiences were intended to amuse you."

"Amuse? That's your word for what we've been through?" Archer asked.

The caretaker responded. "Yes. None of this is permanent. Here you have to only imagine your fondest wishes, either old ones you wish to relive or new ones, anything at all. Battle, fear, love, triumph. Anything that pleases you can be made to happen."

"This is an amusement park, Captain." Trip offered.

"Of course." The old man confirmed.

"So this is a place where people come to see and do all sorts of fascinating things like the old Earth amusement parks?" Trip questioned.

"This entire planet was constructed for our race of people to come and play."

"Play? As advanced as you obviously are, and you still play?" Travis queried.

"Yes, play, Mister Mayweather. The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play." Captain Archer explained.

The caretaker smiled. "Exactly, Captain. How very perceptive of you. We are sorry if any of you were made to feel uncomfortable, but now that you understand you are welcomed to remain and take advantage of our facility for as long as you wish."

"Well then we need to inform our crewmembers of the specialness of their time here so they can take full advantage without causing anyone harm." Archer looked to Malcolm.

"We'll take care of it, sir." He looked to the caretaker. "Do you know anything about our loss of communications?"

"It has been taken care of. You should experience no further problems. Enjoy your stay and good day." The caretaker disappeared as mysteriously as he'd appeared.

"I'm going back to Enterprise, sir. I've had about all the rest and relaxation I can handle." Trip pulled out his communicator. "You might want to join me Captain Tucker. I'm sure Phlox could take care of those bruises before they get worse."

"No thanks. I'm heading back to Lexington. I've had enough of Doctor Phlox's unique style of medicine and I'm not really in any hurry to get rid of these bruises." Captain Tucker felt good and sporting a few bumps and bruises only added to the feeling.

A/N: I borrowed dialogue and plot ideas from "Shore Leave" from season 1 of TOS. Thank you very much to the original writers of this episode. I had great fun reworking this into an updated version, although it still worked out to be mostly about the guys. I liked this episode, but as I got older I wished it had been done in a later incarnation of Star Trek. The prime directive wording is compliments of Memory Alpha. Also for you die hard canon fans it looks as if this is going AU, which I guess it is already. I have a general idea of where it's headed, but because I never commit to anything until it's written the characters are free to go wherever they wish. Some of the canon from season 4 will be used, but not in the same way as the show presented it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Two Worlds Merging**

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" The Captain asked Trip.

"I could say the same thing about you, Captain Tucker." They obviously both had difficulty sleeping.

"I came to see Phlox again." He pointed to his abdomen. "I have a rather deep cut and bruise and I was keeping T'Pol awake tossing and turning, so I thought I'd see what he could do."

"He wanted to put some of those leeches on it, didn't he?" Trip flinched at the thought.

"Yeah. He said you'd be happy to endorse the treatment if I needed some sort of proof that it worked. I know you hate bugs and all things that make your skin crawl, so how could you sit there and let those things do whatever it is they do?" Tucker hadn't even let Phlox explain what they did.

"Nobody likes them, but they are effective. Malcolm practically had kittens when Phlox let them loose in his leg. I always get T'Pol to come do breathing exercises with me. If she wasn't there I don't think I'd ever be able to get through it." Trip wasn't sure what Malcolm complained about more the pain or the leeches. Trip could handle the pain, but not the bugs.

Tucker started to ask about T'Pol knowing he was afraid of bugs, but thought better of it. "So why can't you sleep?"

"Some things that happened on that planet won't stop playing over and over in my head." Trip couldn't get T'Pol out of his head.

"Seeing your sister had to be a shock." Tucker thought this was what had been haunting Trip.

"Actually that was a good thing. I got to have a conversation with her and it helped me let go of the rest of my guilt. I've been beating myself up for not being in touch with her more after we left Earth. I hadn't called her or written in months. I know it wasn't really her, it was just my memories of her, but when we talked it sounded like a real conversation and she told me to stop. That I was just doing my job and being excited about being out here. And I finally got to say goodbye in person more or less." He'd said goodbye to her already, but saying it to a facsimile of her made it feel more real.

"So if Lizzie isn't what's bothering you what is?"

"It's personal and I really can't talk about it." If he only had himself to consider talking to him might help, but there was T'Pol and she would never forgive him for discussing intimate details of their lives with anyone.

"It must be T'Pol then. You two are such good friends, so close it makes me jealous sometimes."

"I think I understand that. T'Pol is the best friend I have. Someone I trust and lean on and who trust me. You and your T'Pol are..." He didn't want to say they had sex. It really sounded sorted when you said it that way. "... you are physically closer, but I don't see the same friendship or level of trust between the two of you. I wouldn't trade what I have for what you have, ever." Trip saw Tucker visibly wince. "Sorry. I meant no offense, but I've been thinking a lot about T'Pol lately trying to figure out what we are and aren't and what that means to our future. Makes me a little too intense at times."

Trip stood up to leave. He didn't want to be rude but talking to anyone but T'Pol wasn't really going to help. "I've got to go get some sleep. I'll see you later." His thoughts kept going. If he and T'Pol remained just friends what happened when it was time to leave Enterprise? Would he be able to walk away and pretend the last few years had never happened? Would she?

Tucker thought about what Trip said. He was right. Tucker and T'Pol had settled into this comfortable place and let themselves believe that if they were having sex...if she were sharing her body with him that meant they were close and the rest would take care of itself. It wasn't.

Trip stopped at the door. "Do me a favor. When you get back home promise me you'll call your Lizzie and tell her you love and miss her. I don't know why, but it will make this better some how."

"I will." He would have anyway. Reading about the Xindi attack and thinking about losing Lizzie like that sent chills down his spine.

----

Archer sat watching the two T'Pol's working across the room together. He had come to depend on his first officer for her logic and her ability to make him consider alternative viewpoints, but having two of them here was beginning to wear on him. Enterprise's T'Pol could rub his nerves raw when she got set in one of her the Vulcan way is the right way moods, but this new one was more rigid and less likely to give him the benefit of a doubt on anything. He was convinced she thought he was incompetent and had no business being the Captain of any vessel. Trip insisted he was being paranoid, that she was just more accustomed to a more laid back command style.

Trip saw vast differences in the captain's approaches to command. Archer may be friendly with his staff, but his style and Trip Tucker's were nothing alike. Jon tended to make decisions on his own. He sought advice from his staff, but the final decision was his and his alone. Captain Tucker let his staff vent and offer whatever thoughts they had on a topic before he arrived at his decision. Captain Tucker's staff may not have any more input into that choice than Archers did, but they felt as if they had. Archer came across as autocratic when he met with resistance where Tucker acknowledged objections and ordered his people to do as he asked in spite of them.

'How did I end up odd man out? It comes with being the guy in charge.' Archer concluded to himself. Lexington had gone in search of tritanium to repair several shield emitters. They still functioned, but showed signs of failing under prolonged use, which they could not afford when they attempted their return home at warp 8. The deflector protected the hull from any damage debris they might encounter at full speed might cause. Trip, Travis, and Malcolm went along. Travis was to receive a crash course in flying the Constitution class starship. All three men were excited about taking a spin at speeds over warp 6. They'd gone on an adventure and Captain Archer had to be the Captain and stay with his ship.

"I'll be on the bridge if you need me." Archer informed the two science officers, who had thus far ignored his presence. Why he'd come in here in the first place he couldn't remember.

When the two were alone again T'Pol broached a delicate subject. "Commander T'Pol I have been reading the Kir'Shara you gave me. I have come across sections that discuss Pa'nar Syndrome. Are you aware of this affliction?"

"It is uncommon, but it still affects some of our world. It is caused by inexperienced melders. Some are unwilling or unable to obtain the proper training and experiment with learning on their own. Why do you ask?"

"Those on my world who are known to be afflicted with Pa'nar Syndrome are ostracized. Melding has been discouraged and we have been told all those who practice melding contract this Syndrome and that it is incurable."

Commander T'Pol was appalled. "It is completely curable. Do you know of someone who had contracted the ailment?"

"Yes. It was forced into a meld and ended it abruptly. It caused much damage to my neural pathways and continues to do so. Any information you can give our doctor about the cure would be helpful. He has been working to slow it down, but has been unable to find a permanent cure."

"It does not require a doctor. You simply need to meld with someone who knows what they are doing. This melder should be able to correct most if not all of the damage and once the meld has successful been completed no further damage will occur." Melding was a practice all Vulcans were trained in if they wished.

"I have no way of locating a melder. If there are those who are able they keep this knowledge to themselves for fear of becoming outcasts." None on Vulcan would risk being labeled a melder.

"All Vulcans are capable of melding given the proper training. Priest on your world must perform a meld when a couple bonds. It is a limited meld only to confirm a connection between the pair, but a meld none the less. All priest and healers must know how to perform a mind meld to perform their duties." How could a whole planet be convinced that something so basic to being a Vulcan was the exact opposite? "If you wish I can perform a meld and do what I can to repair your neural pathways. The information needed to learn how to meld yourself is in our database if you wish to learn."

"I will consider your offer. Perhaps we could meet in my quarters later to further discuss the procedure." T'Pol wanted to ask questions before she allowed another to enter her mind.

**Lexington** **NCC-1702**

"Can I join you?" Malcolm didn't often sleep before 1 or 2 in the morning. Finding Trip awake at this hour used to be a regular thing, but once he started those neuropressure sessions with T'Pol he stopped coming to the Mess Hall late at night.

"Why are you asking just sit down. I just got Travis peeled off the ceiling. He's been walking around up there since he left the navigation station. First pilot in this timeline to fly a warp 8 starship. He'll be impossible for days." Trip was excited about being here and for Travis, but he really wanted to be back on Enterprise.

"Why aren't you all excited about being here for this? This should be a warp engineer's dream come true." Malcolm Reed couldn't understand why Trip wasn't being his usual exuberant self.

"It's great." It was great, but he missed T'Pol. It had been two days and all he wanted was to talk to her.

"It's T'Pol isn't it?"

"My personal life is just that. And don't go trying to mess around in my life until you take care of your own." Trip hadn't had a chance to ask about Hoshi.

"What are you talking about?" Malcolm had a feeling what Trip was talking about, but he wasn't going to discuss it with him.

"I was there Mal. There's something there between you and Hoshi. And don't you dare try to tell me I'm imaging things. I saw her and I saw you too, so there's no use denying it." He'd seen that yearning in Mal's eyes. He recognized it. If he'd caught it just a few seconds earlier he might have waited a few minutes before he interrupted whatever Malcolm was about to do.

"There's nothing to deny. Nothing is going on with Hoshi and I. She was on that planet for a date with the other Lt. Reed not me."

"You can't really be that dense, can you?" Trip looked at his friend. Maybe Malcolm really was clueless or blind when it came to the opposite sex.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Malcolm Reed did know that Hoshi had feelings for him, but he didn't know what to do about it.

"Malcolm she likes you a lot. All you have to do is ask her on a date."

"Advice from the guy who's been mooning over a Vulcan for how long now and he's still what... her friend...her neuropressure partner, what are you? Do you even know?"

"You're right I'm pathetic, but at least I'm still in the game. You haven't even left the bench."

"Low blow. I didn't even know she liked me until a few days ago."

So he did know. He was just being Malcolm. Deny it and it will go away. "Ask her out Malcolm."

"I'll think about it. What about the no frat rules?" Was a date worth risking losing his job?

"The Captain won't have a problem with it unless you let it interfere with your job and I really can't see you letting that happen." He has been thinking about it. I just need to keep poking at him and he'll cave.

"Like I said I'll think about it."

"That's Malcolm speak for I'm not going to do it."

"I'll think about it. That's all I'm going to say."

Trip would wait a few days and if he didn't ask her out he'd start working in him until he did. Or maybe he could get Hoshi to ask Malcolm out.

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

"Doctor Phlox, are you here?" T'Pol entered looking around for the Doctor. His need for sleep satisfied he would most likely be working on one of his research projects or feeding his growing collection of...T'Pol hadn't decided if they were his pets or experiments or some other designation in the doctor's mind.

"Is there a problem Commander? It's rather late for a friendly visit to sickbay." She hadn't come to see him this late since she'd gotten over her addiction, months ago.

"Would you do a full exam on me doctor?" T'Pol requested.

"Is there something in particular I should be looking for?" Phlox was tired of his patients asking for exams without giving him any reason why.

"No. Just do the exam and tell me what you find." T'Pol responded making it clear she wasn't going to give him anymore information.

"Have you been talking to Commander Tucker? He came in here and requested the same thing several days ago."

"I have not spoken to the Commander. He isn't even on the ship. If you recall he left on Lexington two days ago." Why had Trip come to see the doctor? She hadn't known he was feeling ill. "Was there something wrong with the Commander?"

"No, he's fine, and he like you refused to say what brought him here." Phlox had tried to question him, but the Commander just thanked him and left. The doctor's attention quickly turned to the display before him. "T'Pol are you feeling any differently than you have recently?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact much of my control has returned." T'Pol felt her control become stronger once the mind meld was completed. She came to allow the doctor to confirm that indeed her neural pathways were healed.

"According to this scan most of the damaged tissue has been repaired. There are signs of damage here and here." The doctor pointed out two remaining darkened areas. "Those are the centers that control your strongest emotions. That damage was a result of your prolonged use of Trellium-D."

"So I may not have full control when my emotions are at their strongest?" T'Pol knew the trellium had affected her emotional centers further weakening her control. When she felt emotions they had been overwhelming her barriers. She was learning to compensate with Trip's help, but now it should be easier. Especially if she explained all this to Trip and he was aware of how he was able to help her.

"That's exactly right. You will still have difficulty with emotions when they are too strong." The doctor studied the scans from every angle. "How did you do this? I had all but given up finding a cure for you."

"According to Commander T'Pol...the other T'Pol, the meld with Tolaris was done improperly. He lacked training and therefore would most likely cause injury to anyone he melded with, but the damage can be corrected if someone with the proper technique melds with you." T'Pol was feeling overwhelmed by the relief that her mind was once again strong. "When she finished she said the damage from Pa'nar Syndrome had been corrected, but there was still damage she was unable to correct."

"So your people don't know this or they lied to you...to us?" Phlox didn't want to believe the Vulcan doctors he'd encountered could be complicit in hiding this from their patients, causing them unknowable harm. That went against every tenet of being a healer on any planet.

"I do not wish to believe that the Ministry of Science could do this, but according to the data I have been given and the things I know of my own homeworld it must be." T'Pol had become more and more disillusioned with Vulcan and the High Command. Too much of their recent history pointed to a corrupt government. One trying to led Vulcan society farther and farther away from logic and the teachings of Surak. They still claimed that their society was based on the ideals of the IDIC, infinite diversity in infinite combinations, when they actually seemed to be excluding those that didn't hold to a restrictive set of ideals.

"Would you provide me with this information. I want to study whatever material you have."

"I have given all the material given to me to Ensign Sato. She has agreed to translate it into English and to add it to our Vulcan database. I'll ask her to forward a copy of her translations directly to you." Adding the Kir'Shara and the melding information to their database would be seen as a rebellious act by her government, but T'Pol was no longer concerned with their opinions. They had all conspired to keep the truth of her illness from her and thousands of others. She wanted to know what else they were hiding? They most likely would never see it anyway. A Vulcan would not ask to see Enterprise's Vulcan database as they would have one of their own.

T'Pol started for her quarters. On the way thoughts of Trip kept forcing their way into her consciousness. She wished to speak to him. She missed his company. Having resolved to meditate to quiet her thoughts she found them more insistently occupied with him. Was he enjoying his time on Lexington? Did he miss her? Yes he did. She knew this as she knew she missed him.

When she finally achieved the proper level of meditation she could feel the difference. There had been so much clutter and static before that she could not clearly identify her emotions or thoughts. It was not the same as before the mind meld with Tolaris, but it was a calm she hadn't felt in years.

----

"Come in."

"Commander, I mean Trip have you been avoiding me?" T'Pol moved toward him, sitting in the chair at the desk.

Trip flipped his legs around and over the edge of his bed to the floor, sitting up to face her. "Yes and no. I haven't been avoiding you consciously, but maybe I have been without thinking about it." His experience with the dream/real T'Pol made him very aware of his feelings for T'Pol. He'd been trying to convince himself they were just friends, but that wasn't true and he needed to understand what that meant for him.

"Can I ask why?" T'Pol spotted the blanket and pillow at the end of his bed.

"Something happened and I've been more than a little embarrassed about it." He followed her eyes and picked up the bedding. "It's not yours. It's just a really good copy of yours. I need you to trust me for a little while. I promise to explain all this to you once I figure out what it all means to me. Can you do that?" Avoiding her this time wasn't going to work. She's all he thought about whether he saw her or not.

"I already trust you so you do not need to ask to do so." She could see that whatever it was it was important to him.

"Thanks. I missed you. Not just a little, but a lot." Trip reached out and took her hands in his. "Would you join me for dinner tomorrow night and then maybe we could do something after. There's a movie or you could teach me to play that logic game or read the Kir'Shara to me. Whatever you want to do." His breathing had quickened. His hands were shaking and his palms were suddenly wet.

"Are you asking me for a date?" She could feel the fear. It was as clear as her own.

"Yes. Is that okay?" The hesitation in his voice let her know how much it had taken for him to open himself up to her again.

"I'd like that very much." Relief and joy. She felt both from him. "Whatever we do I'd like it to be just you and I if that's acceptable to you."

No movie then. "That's very acceptable to me. Would you be okay reading the Kir'Shara? I'm learning Vulcan, but I'm not advanced enough yet to read something like that."

"You're learning Vulcan? Why didn't you tell me?" T'Pol found it curious that he was learning her language, but hadn't ask for her assistance.

"Captain Tucker gave me his lessons. He suggested I practice on my own first. I have to get rid of my accent when I say it outloud. It makes pronouncing the words easier. He knows what he's talking about because my southern inflection on words makes Vulcan sound really awful." He'd listen to the Vulcan words spoken in the lessons and then he recorded himself saying the same words. With the accent he could barely understand the words and he knew what he was supposed to be saying.

"If you require any assistance I would be glad to help." T'Pol appreciated the effort he was willing to put in to understand her and her culture.

"When I get through each lesson I'll read it to you. I need someone to practice speaking it with. Maybe once I'm better we can try having conversations in Vulcan." Once he gained some confidence pronouncing the words having someone to practice with would be good.

"Anytime. I would be happy to read the Kir'Shara with you. I have found it to very informative and would like very much to share it with you."

She was not the same as when he left. "Did something happen while I was gone? You seem different. More relaxed or something. I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Yes. I will tell you about it at dinner tomorrow. We both have an early shift in the morning and require sleep. I just wanted to be sure there was nothing wrong."

"There's nothing wrong. In fact things seem to be right for the first time in long time." He stood up bringing her up with him. He wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her forehead then walked her to the door. "Good night T'Pol. Sweet dreams."

"Good night Trip."

**Lexington** **NCC-1702**

Archer watched the people moving around the Mess Hall. Couples holding hands, some even kissing. "Doesn't Starfleet have rules about crew fraternizing?"

"You ever try to convince 432 people to sign-on to a five year mission and then try to sell the idea of no relationships. Never going to happen. I'm the Captain and I couldn't do it." Tucker had worked hard to get those regs dropped before he was a Captain.

Archer continued to watch the people around the room. "We still have the rules, but most captains ignore them as long as the relationships don't interfere with duty assignments. I assume that's why T'Pol isn't your first officer."

"We decided she wasn't going to be the first officer. With me being Captain and her being first officer we'd never see each other. We'd be working a lot of opposing shifts and our workloads would make it too difficult, so Cummings gets to deal with all the headaches." The second in command had tons of paperwork to complete. The captain had to read it all and sign off on it, but compared to preparing it all that seemed easy. Paperwork aside, the second was also kept busy with various crew issues. At times that was a full time job.

"I have enough problems with 85 people, 432 would be one gigantic headache. I doubt T'Pol would like being First Officer if she couldn't be the Science Officer too."

"I never thought about that. Cummings is a glorified administrative assistant working toward his own command. I got to be chief engineer and first officer, so I didn't mind too much. If I'd had to just do the paperwork and crew relations I might not have made it to captain."

"I sure would have liked a little more preparation for assuming command, but there was no way I wasn't going to accept it."

"Jon Archer in my timeline is the Admiral in charge of R&D. He wanted his own command until he lost his friend A.G. in a test flight. After that he left the flying to somebody else. We're friends, but nothing like you and Trip."

"A.G. Robinson died here too, but I was on Enterprise when it happened. He, Trip, and I were very close. He was supposed to get Enterprise. He was the senior officer, but they passed him over for me. He seemed okay with it after a while, but I still don't understand why. I still wonder if that had anything to do with his accident." Jon tried not to let his thoughts go there often. It was too hard to think that he might have just given up or gotten careless because he was depressed. It'd be just like A.G. to do something like that and make it look like an accident to keep his reputation intact.

"I gave up a long time ago trying to figure out how the bureaucrats think. I have no desire to ever figure it out. When this mission's over I'm out. I used to think I'd die in an engine room out here somewhere, but not anymore. Starfleet won't let me just be a chief engineer. You have to move up the food chain or get out. T'Pol and I are getting married and starting a life together somewhere as far away from Starfleet as we can get."

"Trip doesn't want anything to do with leaving his engine room either. He's an engineer and always will be." He should have been the first officer, but didn't mind giving it up to T'Pol. That let Archer know he wasn't that hot on being a captain. If he was he would have fought harder for the position.

"I can't blame him. If I'd known what being captain was all about I might have opted out. It was the only way to get back out here, so I said yes to five more years." If T'Pol hadn't agreed to come with him he would have left Starfleet.

Both men sat for some time not speaking lost in their own thoughts. Captain Tucker finally spoke again.

"We're going to be ready to give this return a try in two days. The shield emitters are almost done and Commander T'Pol says the phasers have been adjusted to seal the tear once we pass through it." Tucker knew they had to return home, but he wanted to stay longer, but they couldn't because they'd be looking for them in their own timeline. It wasn't fair to let families and friends worry needlessly.

Both Captain saw them enter at the same time. The couple did not see them as their eyes were focused on each other as they talked while walking toward the opposite end of the room. Archer thought Trip must be telling her a story. He was more animated than usual. He opened the door for her and motioned for her to enter. She bowed slightly and crossed the threshold.

"They must have reserved the private dining room for the evening. Rather usual for non-crew to even know of the availability of that room. It's supposed to be my private dining room, but I don't like to use it, so the crew reserve it for special occasions or dates. Someone must have told Trip about it." Captain Tucker was pleased to see they were on a date.

"Things seem to have made a major shift between those two. I've suspected for a while now that they were more than friends. I guess I was right." Exactly what that meant Archer wasn't sure, but he hoped it would be a good thing.

"Actually they have been the best of friends. Whatever there is between them has been there for a long time, but they've been reluctant to admit it. Looks like they're both ready to see where that leads them."

"I take it Trip talked to you?" Jon tried not to be hurt. After all Tucker was as close to Trip as anyone could be.

"Not really. All I know is if she decides they are only going to be friends that he will accept that and remain close by and her friend forever. He hasn't said anything, I just have an inside track on how he thinks and how important she is too him."

"That serious, huh." T'Pol felt the same way apparently. Archer hadn't been as sure of her, although she did spend most of her free time with Trip.

"I think so, but I'm not sure they know it yet." More likely they both knew just hadn't admitted it to themselves or each other.

---

"Do you like it?" Trip laughed at the scrunched up look she made when the tart hit her tongue.

"People actually eat that?" It was so sour she couldn't imagine how anyone could like it.

"My grandma used to make that every year when she came to visit. We had to eat at least one bite to be polite and if you made that face you just made my Mom would 'box your ears'." His hand went up in a mock smack. "And I agree it's the worst thing I've ever had to eat.... I take that back. There was that blood soup with the chunks Zorbal said were the essence of the male chopped and seasoned." The soup tasted okay it was just the whole idea of the ingredients.

"Your mother made you eat that and pretend it was good? I don't think even Vulcans would be that cruel. We are raised to be polite and not offend others, but to force a child to repeat the exercise more than once would be unacceptable." T'Pol considered the dish before continuing. "You may have a point. Being raised to be the proper southern gentlemen could rival being raised a proper Vulcan."

"I'm sure your childhood was much more restrictive than mine was, but mine wasn't all fun and games. It required discipline and great acting abilities." Trip laughed. "You could do it with practice I'm sure."

"I trust you have no more bad food for me to try."

"No, it's your turn. Have it make something. Fairs fair. You tried mine I'll try yours. There has to be something your Mom made you didn't like."

"I cannot make it here. I will make it once we are back on Enterprise. Chef will have the ingredients I need. You can try it at our next dinner." Giving the recipe and instructions to the computer so the replicator could make it would take to long.

"It's a date. So what did you decide to do with the rest of our evening?"

"I had Hoshi translate the sections of the Kir'Shara that pertain to what happened while you were away. I have arranged for us to have access to a holodeck if you wish. We can search through the menu of preprogrammed places and decide which we wish to remain in while we talk."

"Let's go."

Trip followed T'Pol out of the dining room into the mess hall and to the nearest door leading to the corridor. Archer watched as they left. Both holding themselves as if they wanted to blend into the walls, walking near the tables occupied by crew, but attempting to not draw attention to themselves. To leave unnoticed, so as not to allow anyone to invade the bubble they had created for themselves.

Archer watched Commander T'Pol and Captain Tucker follow them out with their eyes. "I don't suppose either of you know where they're off to?"

"The Commander requested use of the holodeck. I gave them access to my personal programs and those of the Captain." T'Pol hadn't expected the request when her counterpart approached her, but had willingly given her permission to do so.

"I shouldn't be surprised. Trip ran into the technology on a Xyrillian ship the first time and couldn't stop talking about how real it felt." Archer left out the part about him getting pregnant there. It had become a sore subject after he and Reed had teased him about it. Trip didn't find the experience to be funny and finally asked that they stop making it out to be a joke.

Commander T'Pol turned to Archer. "But Captain it was not Commander Tucker who asked to use the holodeck. It was your Commander T'Pol."

"T'Pol made plans for their date? Now I'm confused. I thought Vulcans don't date." Archer knew a little of Vulcan customs and arranged marriages didn't require getting to know your future spouse.

No one spoke further. Both Tucker and T'Pol felt as if they were invading their privacy by speculating or discussing their relationship. The couple had only been here a short time and had taken advantage of the technology available on Lexington to enhance their time together. Tucker and Commander T'Pol had been on this ship for 6 months and had spent no time together in the holodeck. They could go anywhere and do anything they could imagine, yet they hadn't. They were both starting to question why?

---

"So where are we?"

"This is Gol. An ancient city on Vulcan that was destroyed centuries ago." T'Pol had seen recreations of the original city and what had thus far been uncovered by archaeologists on Vulcan.

"If it was destroyed what is this?" Trip saw the columns and buildings. In the distance there was what looked like a cave system that ran around the city.

"It's what they believe the city looked like. My father took me to the ruins when I was a child. He was always interested in anything ancient, from the time of Surak. It was the first of many excursions we took before he was killed."

Trip could see the pain she was trying to hide. "Is he the reason you went into science?"

"He is why I explore. He taught me to ask questions about the past and to always be aware of what was around me. My mother is why I chose science. She is an instructor at the Academy of Science. She encouraged both my interest in exploration and science. At least until I went to Earth. By then she wished me to return to Vulcan and take up a place at the Academy teaching with her. According to her I had had plenty of time to get the urge to explore out of my system. When I resigned my commission she was upset and disappointed in me."

"I'm sorry. Parents have a way of making you feel like crap when you don't do what they think you should. Mine weren't thrilled when I chose space travel either, but they came around eventually. Lizzie probably helped with that by talking to them as much and as often as she could until they were convinced it was the right choice for me. She wished I was closer to home, but she knew how much I loved building warp engines and that exploring made me happy." Trip remembered the tense conversations when he told his parents he'd received a commission on Enterprise. Sometimes it bothered him that he was out here giving them so much to worry about after having lost one child, but he couldn't let it stop him from pursuing his dreams.

"My mother is not likely to come around. She still wishes me to return to Vulcan, although we rarely talk anymore." T'Pol looked over the area again. Pulling back her emotions. Her last conversation with her mother had been just before they entered the expanse.

"Is this where you want to talk?" Trip knew this place was special to her, but the temperature had to be somewhere over 45°C.

"I wish you to be comfortable and you do not like deserts." T'Pol could tell he was uncomfortable. She went to the control panel and entered a code. The surroundings changed to a house. "This was my foremother's home. My mother was raised here."

Trip scanned the room, but could see very little as the sun had gone down outdoors and the only light came from candles. He could tell the walls were stone as was the floor. A large rug covered the floor under his feet and there were large pillows scattered all around them. He followed T'Pol as she sat on the floor near the center of the room. He took up a place across from her.

"You know it's not the desert I don't like, it's the heat. There never seems to be enough water to quench my thirst. It gets warm and my energy level takes a nose dive and that's it." He'd almost died twice in the desert from heat exhaustion and wasn't up to tempting fate a third time.

T'Pol remembered his condition when they rescued him and Captain Archer from the desert with Zorbal. "The computer has adjusted the temperature to a more comfortable range for you."

"Thank you. If we could do that in real life I might actually learn to like the desert."

T'Pol handed him the padd she had been carrying. "I had Hoshi translate several sections of the Kir'Shara for you. I'd like you to read the information and ask any questions you need to understand what you have read before we talk."

"Okay." Trip took the padd and began reading. When he finished he simply looked up at T'Pol.

She could see the confusion in his expression. "I understand everything I read, except maybe the mind meld, but what does all this have to do with you?" Mind melds and Pa'nar Syndrome. She had even included a section on trellium D at the end.

"Do you remember the Vulcan's without logic?"

"Of course. I made friends with one of them Kov, remember?" The first Vulcan he'd had long conversations with about anything he wanted to know. Kov had asked his share of questions too.

"I had forgotten. It is a time I try not to dwell on. The Vulcan Tolaris...." T'Pol went on to explain what had happened between her and Tolaris.

"So he forced a mind meld on you and it caused this Pa'nar Syndrome because he didn't know what he was doing? But your doctors and government let you believe it was incurable? And you discovered the cure from Commander T'Pol and the Kir'Shara?" Trip was angry, but at whom. Tolaris for hurting T'Pol for sure, but the Vulcans who knew the truth and allowed her to suffer all these years were by far worse. "I know we weren't friends when this happened, so I understand why you didn't tell me then, but why not later?"

"Humans need to talk about things, but Vulcans do not. We suppress them."

"I have to admit I still don't totally understand the whole suppressing your emotions thing. You suppress yours, but not like other Vulcans. I guess all the damage is the reason for some of it, but you've always been more open with your feelings. Ambassador Soval can be rather less restrained too, but he's still more controlled than you have ever been." There were many occasions when T'Pol had let her control slip before they met Tolaris. She would get angry at Trip or the captain. He never saw it on her face, but he always saw emotions in her eyes.

"My emotions have always been close to the surface. My parents used to tell me that all the time and tried to help me learn to hide it better. Being amongst humans has made me lazy and yes my control had been weakened for some time. It has not been fully repaired, but it is much better. Commander T'Pol performed a mind meld with me and repaired all the damage from the Pa'nar Syndrome. There is damage from my own actions that will never be corrected, but I can learn to live with that."

"So is that why I kept getting the sense that something was different about you." He'd come to realize T'Pol was calmer, more at ease with herself and him.

"Yes. I feel much better. I can control all but the strongest of my emotions again. I will have to be careful in stressful situations or when my emotions become very strong, but with practice I believe even this is manageable."

"The damage you caused, does it have something to do with Trellium D?" This was the only information she had not talked about yet.

"I stupidly became addicted to Trellium D while in the expanse. While I'd like to blame it all on the affects of the expanse that would not be truthful, but I am not prepared to have that discussion at this time. Suffice it to say I was not thinking clearly and we can discuss it sometime later, if you wish to, but not today." T'Pol knew she was sidestepping the issue, but only wished to relax and enjoy this time without causing pain for either of them.

"I guess I can understand that." Trip had asked for time to sort out his own thoughts on things, so he could hardly say no when she asked for the same thing. "T'Pol something has changed here and I need you to tell me what it is. You're acting like you want there to be more between us. If that's true I need you to say it." He'd let himself go with the flow in the past and ended up with the short end of the stick. Trip wasn't going to let that happen again.

The direct approach. She hadn't been expecting this. Hoshi insisted that 'guys' didn't discuss their feelings or relationships. Trip most certainly had not in the past. "I do wish to see what there is between us." Maybe Hoshi had been wrong. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Hoshi told me that human men do not like to talk about relationships. That women have had to learn to read their signals and act upon them. Is this not true?"

Trip couldn't stop laughing. "T'Pol if you're going to take relationship advice from someone, at least, make sure they're in a successful relationship. In case you haven't noticed Hoshi has been pining away after Malcolm for two years now and from what I saw on that planet last week he has feelings for her too, so I wouldn't exactly say she's any wiser about what goes on between men and women than we are." Trip would have to ask Hoshi what signals she had been talking about. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"That's good to know. I was beginning to believe I was never going to be able to learn what these signals were and what they meant because I was Vulcan."

"So how long have you been trying to decipher these signals?"

"Since just after we left Earth last time. You were very distant and wary of me and I didn't know how to approach you. I was afraid you'd reject me as I had you, so I tried to do things the way a human woman would. The way Hoshi explained I should, but that only made things more tense."

"In the future talk to me, no one else and we should be okay. Let's do this the Vulcan way and keep our private life private. There's no one to help us figure this out anyway. Hell Captain Tucker and his T'Pol are more screwed up than we are and they're engaged." He'd started down the path he might as well go all the way to the end. "All I know is no matter if we stay friends like we are now or we become more we're together. I'm not going anywhere. You're too important to me and there's never going to be anyone else, so you're stuck with me." If she wanted him gone she'd have to say so.

"You would remain friends if that is what I wish and you'd be okay with that?" Listening to Hoshi had been a big mistake. Trip was not acting like the men Hoshi had described.

"Yep. We're going to do this whatever way works for you because I'm not willing to give up what we have right now for anything. I've tried doing that and it doesn't work. I want more and I think you already know that, but I can live without it if that's what you need." All his thoughts from the last several days crystallized in his head. The physical side of a relationship may be important, but Trip had decided it was not the most important part. With time he was sure they could work even that out. And if they couldn't they still had neuropressure and that was better than anything he'd experienced in the past.

"I agree. No more advice from Hoshi. Are you sure about Hoshi and Lt. Reed?"

"T'Pol she had a date with the other Lt. Reed. I think she was trying to get some insight into our Malcolm, but it didn't work out that way. Maybe Malcolm saw how she felt about him when she was dancing with that fantasy-dream guy. Let's hope so. Somebody needs to help that boy relax. He's all business all the time. It's exhausting trying to keep up with him. He never stops trying to tweak just a little more out of his weapons systems or the tactical station. He's my friend but he's an engineer's worse nightmare." Trip laid down on one of the pillows.

"You should find someplace to show me on Earth." T'Pol wanted to see what places he liked on his homeworld.

"Is there anyplace you'd like to see? The only place I don't want to go is Florida. I like my memories the way they are, so I'd rather not mess with them." Seeing it the way it really had been or the way Captain Tucker remembered it wasn't something he wanted to do. The childlike, idealized version he carried around with him was what he wanted to keep in his memories.

"I have only seen San Francisco and very little of it, so anywhere would be acceptable."

They spent the next hour visiting the various places on Earth found in the computer's memory banks. "Computer what time is it?"

"It is 23:20 hours." The computer responded.

"It's late T'Pol we should go." He stood and offered her his hand to help her stand as well.

"Only if you agree to dinner and neuropressure tomorrow evening."

"T'Pol we eat all our meals together unless one of us has to eat with the Captain alone, so lets just make meals a standing date. As far as the neuropressure that sounds good."

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

Trip walked her to her door. "Good night T'Pol." Trip turned to walk away. Her door slid open. T'Pol reached for his hand and pulled him inside.

"Is it not customary to end a date with a kiss?" T'Pol asked with all the seriousness in her.

"It can be. I guess it would depend on what the kiss meant." Trip studied her trying to see what she was up to.

"Would it not mean you enjoyed our date and wish to have another?"

"Yes, but we already settled that earlier. We have a date tomorrow. I didn't think I needed to confirm it with a kiss. And this is our first date and it's not a good idea for a guy to try kiss on a first date. It can be seen as being to forward."

"This is not our first date Trip. We have spent more time with each other than most official couples on this ship. So a good night kiss could mean thank you for an enjoyable evening?"

"Yes it could. If you want me to kiss you good night T'Pol just say so. I'm not likely to object."

"Then I would like a good night kiss Trip. I would not like to break any human dating customs."

Must be another Hoshi special. "Human dating customs? My track record in that department is less than stellar and I wouldn't want to make any mistakes, so I say we throw them all out and make up our own rules." Somehow trying to decode Hoshi's version of male-female relations sounded like a lot of work. This was going to make getting Hoshi and Malcolm to admit their feelings for each other that much harder.

"Then let's start with a good night kiss at the end of our dates."

"You'll get no objection from me on that one." Trip lifted her chin and gently touched his lips to hers. "How was that?"

"Very nice. Thank you."

"If you're thanking me for the kiss there's no need. If you're thanking me for the evening then you're welcome and thank you. I really enjoyed it." More than he ever thought possible.

"Good night and I'll see you in the morning." T'Pol said as he stepped out into the corridor.

"Good night, T'Pol."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Reuniting Worlds**

**Lexington** **NCC-1702**

"Okay, so what does this do again?" Captain Tucker had tried to get through the first posture he thought she called it, but couldn't do it. His mind wouldn't focus on what she wanted him to do.

"It relaxes you, but it also lets your body heal itself. It's exercise for your mind and muscles." Commander T'Pol was becoming exasperated. Human males had no concentration when their clothing came off. The minute she had him remove his shirt his mind went to sex. By the time, she got to his pants he couldn't seem to sit still or hear anything she was trying to tell him.

"So why do we need to do this without clothes? It's not very relaxing when you're naked and I'm supposed to ignore that fact." He kept trying to focus but could not figure out how to get his mind off her body.

"Put on your underwear and I'll put on mine and we can try again." This was hopeless. Were Vulcan males this unfocused? When the other T'Pol taught her Trip, did she have to deal with his lack of discipline and sexual desire? It must have made it so much easier to start as if they were just performing medically necessary therapy because they'd been doing this for over a year and T'Pol hadn't hurt him.

"You're mad aren't you?" Mad didn't begin to cover her emotions, but her Trip was just beginning to notice she had emotions or maybe it was that she had begun to relax her control a little around him, so she was trying to be encouraging when he mentioned how she felt.

"Yes. You are acting like an adolescent male who lacks any control over his more primal needs." She had been frustrated in the past, but this was the worst it had ever been. Allowing her emotions to seep through was proving to be difficult for her. Years of suppressing her emotions all the time had made feeling them now very uncomfortable. She knew she must do this, but this was going to take a lot of time and practice. Patience. That's what she really needed to learn was patience.

"I'll do better. Maybe if I just close my eyes so I don't see you without clothes." He'd already tried counting sheep or thinking about all the mundane things, he could think of, but he couldn't pay attention to her instructions and do that at the same time.

T'Pol was hopeful she could get them through the first set of postures. Once she did, she was sure he'd see the benefit of the practice and be more cooperative and restrained. Then she could begin to explain the connection that would strengthen between them. If she could just get past wanting to nerve pinch him when her frustration at his infantile behavior overwhelmed her.

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

"Captain, you go. They need to test the warp drive and you know you want to see what warp 8 feels like." Trip had been trying to convince Jon to go with Lexington all day. The senior staff had heard him complaining, since they got back, about staying aboard ship last time.

"I was sure you'd be pestering me to let you go along, Trip."

"I'm good Captain. I got my ride, it's your turn."

"You're turning down a chance to be there for a warp 8 run. Since when? What could be more important than a warp engine?" Archer didn't need to ask. It was T'Pol. They remained as professional as they always had on duty, but once they were off duty, things became much more casual between them. Whatever the tension had been about it was gone now. Moreover, while there was nothing overt in their behavior there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were dating.

"I have plans and I'd rather not change them." Trip told his captain. Hoping he'd let the whole thing go.

"Do those plans include anyone I know?" Archer teased.

"Most likely. Being the captain you know everyone on this ship." Trip countered with his usual smart-ass smirk.

"Must be some pretty special plans to get you to give up a warp 8 engines." Archer couldn't resist making Trip squirm.

Trip stopped working on the plasma injectors and looked straight at his Captain. "Just go enjoy the ride Captain. You know you want to go, so just go." Please just leave me alone he thought. I can't talk about this. He wasn't sure what this was yet and he wasn't going to do anything to mess it up. Things were going well between him and T'Pol and she wanted it all to be private. Actually, he did too. His father had told him he'd know when he'd found the right woman. It would feel different. He'd be different.

"You're not going to tell me anything are you?"

"Nope, so stop trying to get me to. If there's anything to tell, I'll tell you first. Until then just, leave it alone. Okay?"

"If that's what you really want. But if you need someone to talk to my door is always open." This really must be serious if Trip wasn't talking. Jon wanted to keep asking until he talked, but that would just make Trip avoid him altogether and he didn't want that.

"I appreciate that, but it's better if I handle this on my own." Trip was afraid if he talked about it might all slip away again. There was not the desperation he'd always felt before, and when they were together everything felt right, but late at night laying in his bed his insecurities still snuck up on him. He knew there was something happening and they'd have to talk about it sometime, but for now, he just wanted to relax and be happy.

**Lexington** **and Enterprise**

"Enterprise this is Captain Tucker. We need you to rendezvous with us at these coordinates."

"This is Commander T'Pol. Is there a problem Captain Tucker?"

"A Captain Goroth and the ugliest ship I've ever seen showed up and took Archer. We managed to disable their transporter and then transported your Captain back to our ship before their sensors picked us up, but we need your assistance to wipe their computer and to disable them." Lexington had moved out of sensor range and was quietly observing the Klingon ship.

"We're on the way. T'Pol out. Tactical alert, Lt. Reed."

Trip stepped off the turbolift as the alert sounded. He instantly looked to the vid screen. All he saw was Captain Tucker. "We're under attack?"

"Lexington ran into Goroth. They need us to assist them in wiping out any data the Klingons may have gathered about the ship and to disable their engines and weapons." T'Pol caught him up on the latest.

"You'd think after all this time the Klingons would give up." They'd lost two ships and all that money they'd paid out for bounty trying to recapture the Captain. Trip couldn't understand why he was so important to them.

"Klingons have very long memories and hold grudges even longer. They have fought blood feuds over minor disagreements for centuries." T'Pol informed them. "Commander, do we know the location of the computer system on a Klingon Bird of Prey?"

"It's in the center of the third deck with shielding around it. Lt. Reed should remember how to get around the shields." Malcolm had spent some time trying to make Klingon systems work when he tried to save that ship in the nebula. "I'll go down to engineering and put together a very large magnet with a little explosive to clear the memory." Trip headed back to the turbolift. "Lexington has the firepower to take out the engines. We just need to show them where to target them."

"Commander let me know as soon as you are ready." T'Pol ordered as he left.

"Yes, ma'am." Trip flashed one of his ear-to-ear smiles. He never said ma'am. He rarely, if ever, called her by her rank, but if she could use his nickname off duty, he could stop calling her T'Pol when they were on duty.

Looking back to the vid screen. "Where's Captain Archer?" Commander T'Pol asked with some urgency.

"He's in sickbay. The Klingons roughed him up pretty good. The doctor says he should be okay in a couple of hours. Before he went to sleep, he said I should contact you. Said you would know what to do, so tell us what we need to do Commander T'Pol." Captain Tucker's crew would fight if they needed to, but in this world, Enterprise's crew had the experience so he had no problem, letting them take charge.

"Commander Tucker should be done with the magnet to take care of the computer soon. He and Lt. Reed will transport over as soon as it is complete."

"Tucker to the bridge. We're ready Commander."

"Commander Tucker, meet Lt. Reed in the transporter room. Contact me as soon as you have everything ready."

T'Pol looked to Reed. "Once you're there target their engines and help the Commander set the coordinates to get his package as close to the computer core as possible. We'll coordinate our weapons fire. Have their helmsman follow us as soon as we engage our engines."

"Yes, ma'am." Reed left for the transporter room.

Trip entered pushing a cart. "Can't let the Captain go out alone anymore. Damn Klingons find him every time."

"They do seem to know when he's away from home don't they. Maybe we ought to try to figure out why that is." Lieutenant Reed didn't believe in coincidences and even if he did the odds of the Klingons, being in the right place at the right time so many times was much more than luck.

**Lexington** **NCC-1702**

"Commander Tucker transport on my signal." Lt. Reed yelled through the comm.

"Whenever you're ready Lieutenant." Trip answered back.

"Commander T'Pol commence firing in one minute."

"Understood, Lieutenant."

Reed started firing at the power junction for the internal shield controls on the Klingon vessel. He watched the countdown and the sensors. "58...59..." The shields were failing. "Now Trip." Reed opened fire on the engines while Enterprise targeted the weapons systems.

"The shields are down..the engines are offline. The computer core has been wiped and..." Actually, it had been destroyed. Trip must have been a little over enthusiastic with his explosive. Reed watched the sensors for signs that their weapons systems were failing. "...weapons are down."

Captain Tucker turned to his helmsman. "Follow Enterprise and get us out of here." Tucker turned to Lt. Reed. "You guys do this kind of thing often?"

"Sorry to say we have. From day one, we've had to learn to protect ourselves to survive. The year in the expanse made it necessary to learn a few things we could have done without, but we are a team and we work well together." As bad as things had gotten Reed was proud of that fact. Through it all they were shipmates and friends.

"What exactly did Archer do to piss these guys off? He said they've been after him for years now."

"He didn't like the prison they sent him to, so he escaped. Klingons have no sense of humor or sense of fair play."

"We've had run ins with them but I've never seen one up close before. And what is that ship?"

"They call them 'Birds of Prey' it's one of their warships. How'd you knock out their deflector shield?" Reed had tried to find the weak points, but had never been able to before now.

"Commander Cummings fired our phase cannons and hit the juncture just behind the warp core generator. It looked something like ours and they don't have it shielded enough to protect themselves from our weapons. Probably been counting on the fact that you don't have the technology to get past their shielding, but we do. That's why we needed their computer wiped. Can't have a bunch of pissed off Klingons thinking Starfleet has made major leaps in technology and can match them." This Captain Goroth may have seen some of the technology, but he had no proof to back it up. And Lexington's configuration was different enough from Enterprise's that there wouldn't be any confusion about them being the same ship.

"They'll just add more shielding after today, but at least I know where to target our weapons in the future. I'll just have to figure out how to get more firepower and get through the shielding." Reed was determined. It might take some time, but now that he had a target, he'd work on a solution until he found one.

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

"Your Mom likes this? It has no flavor at all. Even water has flavor. Isn't that pla-savas? You gave some of that fruit to me last year. It's sweet kind of like a plum and a blueberry, but this doesn't taste sweet at all." Trip took the piece of fruit T'Pol handed him. How could someone manage to cook all the flavor out of something? And what happened to the bright blue color?

Captain Archer had been looking for the pair to discuss tomorrows attempt at getting Lexington and its crew back home. With all the commotion with the Klingons and being in sickbay, he hadn't had a chance to speak with them before their shifts ended. The computer said they were both in the galley. He heard them talking and stopped outside the door waiting for a good time to interrupt.

"My mother makes this desert the way she was taught by her mother. It's a family recipe that I have never made before and will never make again. Perhaps it's an acquired taste, which I never acquired. I spit it out the first time my mother served it to me and refused to eat it." Although her father had encouraged her to try it again many times.

"I can't imagine you not being the proper little Vulcan child." Trip's sarcasm came through as he laughed at her.

"I was rebellious when I was young." She said it with that deadpan look on her face.

"When you were young? You're still a rebel or you wouldn't be here." It had taken a lot to go against her own people and remain on Enterprise.

T'Pol kissed his cheek. "I'm sure the High Command considers me much more than a rebel."

"Wasn't the rule that I'm supposed to kiss you at the end of our dates? I don't seem to remember any rules about kisses during our dates." Trip stepped back as she kissed him again.

"If it needs to be a rule then I guess we will add a rule, but do you really think it's necessary?"

"Maybe. What happened to no touching in public?"

"There is no one here but you and I, so this is not in public. So do we need to make it a rule?"

"I think I can handle it without a rule. So I can kiss you when we're alone?"

"Yes, but only when we are alone."

Trip thought about it for a minute. "Maybe we ought to make it a rule just so there's no confusion about what you expect of me. And these rules aren't just for me you know." Actually, they were for T'Pol. Rules seemed to make it easier for her to express what she wanted. Maybe it was all that Vulcan discipline.

"I obviously don't need the rule as I kissed you without it."

"You really are wicked you know that. Where's this T'Pol been hiding all this time?"

"This T'Pol did not exist until she met a certain southern gentleman."

"The handsome prince woke up sleeping beauty. I think I like that."

"This sleeping beauty is another of your Earth fairy tales?"

"Yeah. One all the little girls get all mushy over. Usually makes little boys ill with all the romance and kissing."

"So little boys on Earth don't like kissing."

"No way. Fortunately we grow up and discover that girls can be fun and aren't so bad after all."

Archer was surprised at the ease between the two of them and was beginning to feel guilty about spying. He took the opportunity to make his presence known without causing too much of a disruption in their date. "Trip, T'Pol are you in here? Archer yelled giving them fair warning he was approaching.

Trip stepped away from T'Pol, sitting on the stool behind him. "Yeah, Captain we're in here."

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to know if the probes are ready to launch?" They were to fire two probes to with in a few feet of the tear and then have them explode releasing some combination of graviton particles and several other compounds to aid Lexington in sealing up the tear once they went through it.

"The report should be on your desk Captain. I placed it there at the end of my shift. I can send you another copy if you have misplaced it." T'Pol knew it was more likely he hadn't even looked for the report. Captain Archer liked his staff to make verbal reports to him about ship's business. He read the reports before forwarding them to Starfleet, but that was always after the fact.

"I'll check and let you know at dinner. Are the probes ready?"

"Yes, they are ready Captain. We have done what we can to ensure they will do what we need them to do." T'Pol seemed to want the Captain gone. Trip could see the signs of her impatience. The slight terseness of her words, her moving around, and she rolled her eyes when she turned away from him. The Captain didn't notice or didn't care. Trip, on the other hand, had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing.

"Good. Then I'll see you both at dinner." Archer turned and left.

"T'Pol are you okay?"

"I am fine."

"I've never seen you be so upset with the Captain before."

"He upsets me frequently. You are just much better at seeing my reactions than you used to be."

"I know that's true, but Jon always comes to find us when he thinks he needs information whether we're on duty or not and you've never gotten upset before. Don't let it bother you or it will just ruin the rest of the evening." It could be a pain sometimes, but the senior staff had accepted it as one of their captain's idiosyncrasies.

"I will try." Her control was back for the most part, but Captain Archer's lack of discipline regarding reading the reports his staff prepared for him before searching them out at all hours was becoming more and more irritating. T'Pol should not have let it show, but hiding things from Trip was becoming harder and harder. She was beginning to suspect that continuing the neuropressure to see if a bond could be formed between them was unnecessary because one may have already begun without their knowledge.

---

Dinner talk centered on the Lexington leaving the next day. Both Captains discussed all the variables they needed to cover to ensure the safety of their crews. Trip took advantage of the time to question Commander T'Pol about Vulcan and her time on Earth. Asking what she liked and didn't like. What sights she had taken in and which ones she hadn't seen, but wished to. Question after question until both T'Pol's were exhausted.

T'Pol walked across to speak to her Captain. "Captain Archer are my services required anymore this evening?"

Archer took in the room. Everyone seemed ready to call it a night. "No. I think dinner's over."

"Then good night gentlemen." T'Pol turned and rejoined Trip and Commander T'Pol who were deep in a conversation about the holodeck recreation of Gol they had seen.

"Commander Tucker." T'Pol tried to gain his attention. When he didn't reply. "Trip."

He heard that and turned immediately, but with no sign of surprise on his face. "Yes."

"I am going to my quarters please join me there once you're finished here." T'Pol said quietly.

"If you wait a sec I'll go with you." Trip casually looked around the room. They were all zeroed in on him and T'Pol, but they were all trying to act as if they weren't. "Commander T'Pol thank you very much for a lovely evening. I really enjoyed learning about Vulcan from you." Trip stood.

"It was a pleasant evening Commander. You have a way of making everyone feel comfortable." The Commander meant that. Making conversation with a Vulcan could be trying for most humans, but Trip was comfortable and just talked to her like she was anyone else.

"Good night, Commander." Trip nodded to her as he turned towards Archer and Tucker. "Good night Captain Archer, Captain Tucker." He and T'Pol left together.

Trip followed T'Pol walking slowly. "Sorry our plans got changed, but I enjoyed the evening anyway. Dinner might have been a little more fun if the Captains weren't so focused on tomorrow. We have to remember not to invite them to join us again."

"Once Captain Archer gets set on something he's..." T'Pol found it difficult openly criticizing her superior officer in casual conversation.

"The polite way to say it is he gets tunnel vision. It's one of the things that make him a good captain, but it's not good in social situations." Being able to focus one's attention on a problem to the exclusion of all else was a good trait for a starship captain and a warp engineer, but not a good one to create an atmosphere of relaxation and fun with friends.

She had just called him Trip in front of everyone at dinner. He pulled a T'Pol and didn't react in case it was accidental. He didn't want to draw attention to her mistake and embarrass her. T'Pol slowed waiting for him to catch up. Should he ask her about it or not? When he reached her side, she slipped her hand into his.

He decided there was something more important to talk about. "T'Pol you know those rules we were talking about earlier?"

"Yes."

"I think I need you to explain the rules to me because you seem to be throwing some of them out or changing them or something." The ground kept shifting under him and he needed some guidance and reassurance.

T'Pol withdrew her hand and stopped. She then lifted his hand up bending all but his index and middle finger down. She then touched her same fingers to his. "Vulcan couples touch in public like this. I suppose we could walk around touching like this, but it would be much easier to simply hold hands like humans do. Don't you agree?"

"Yes it would, but I thought Vulcans didn't touch in public?" First, kissing in the galley, now this?

"We usually wouldn't, but you are not Vulcan and that means we must compromise between my culture and yours. This is an acceptable compromise for me. Is it acceptable for you?"

"Yes. So we can hold hands in public?"

"We can touch as I showed you or hold hands, but that is all. All other contact must be in private. Is that acceptable?"

"That's very acceptable. I never expected you to let me touch you in public at all, so thank you."

"If you are thanking me for holding hands with you then it is not necessary. I enjoy that it makes you happy and I also enjoy your touch, but you are welcome."

"You did call me Trip on purpose earlier, didn't you?"

"I did. You said we were throwing out all the rules and making up our own. Did you not mean this?"

"Of course I did, but I guess I thought some rules were more permanent than others. You really threw them all out and started over?"

"Yes." It really wasn't as difficult for her as Trip seemed to think. Vulcans didn't have rules about dating. They didn't date. She'd been using his nickname to gain his attention for some time and it was what he preferred, so it wasn't difficult to call him by that name.

"So the new rules are that we kiss when dates are over and during dates. We can touch fingers or hold hands in public, all other touching must be done in private and you call me Trip when we're not on duty?"

"You are not going to recite this list every time we add a rule are you?" That could become tedious very quickly.

"Evidently not. Besides it could get rather difficult as this list grows." Although he didn't think he'd need much help remembering the rules.

"We will just have to be sure we only make rules that are very necessary, so the list doesn't get too cumbersome to recall."

"And we really don't need to make this any more complicated than it is. We seem to have enough trouble without making more for ourselves."

Trip took her hand in his. Wow, I could really get used to this. "I know this is a change of topic but I don't have much time and I need your help gathering some information for Captain Tucker."

"You have decided to tell him about the bond?"

"I decided to give him the information in English from our database and the Kir'Shara. I'll warn him before I give it to him and leave it up to him whether or not he reads it." Trip decided he deserved to know and if his T'Pol wasn't going to tell him someone needed to make sure he had access to the information if he wanted to know. Trip figured he'd either wrestle with the idea for a few weeks and read the padd or he'd talk to T'Pol and tell her he wanted to know what was on that padd from her.

"I have all the information on a padd in my quarters."

"You knew what I'd decide to do?"

"No, I only wished to be prepared if this was your decision."

Trip stopped this time. A perplexed look on his face. "It's staring to feel like I got dropped down that rabbit hole again. Are you sure nothing else happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing else happened."

Yes it did. Trip just didn't know what and if T'Pol knew, she wasn't talking. Maybe he should go away more often. If he was down that rabbit hole, he hoped he never found his way out.

**Lexington** **NCC-1702**

"Captain Tucker, do you have a minute?" Trip wanted to speak to him alone.

"Sure what's up?"

"There's something I need to ask before I say anymore. Do you love T'Pol? And I mean can't live without her, would rather die than be without her kind of love?"

"What's this about?" Trip knew exactly how he felt about T'Pol and he didn't need to tell him.

"Well, I've been thinking about this since you got here and I decided it's worth the risk if you really love her." Trip held out the padd. "There is a lot of information you need on this padd. If you decide to read it, all I ask is that you remember, you love T'Pol and that she's Vulcan and as hard as they try, understanding some things about humans is almost impossible for them. All that logic and control gets in the way. You might want to consider reading this with her and if you don't read it, I suggest you at least let her know you're reading the Kir'Shara. Trust me it will only make things easier down the road." Trip tried to let him know he at least needed to ask some questions, but hoped it wouldn't create problems between them.

"So there are things in here you think T'Pol hasn't told me?" Tucker had begun to suspect this on his own.

"I can't begin to know why she hasn't told you. I don't think it's to hide things or hurt you. She cares about you very much. It's more that she's Vulcan and doesn't know how to reconcile her culture to yours." She's more controlled that his T'Pol and he was positive that made it much harder for her to be with a human.

"Can't you just tell me?"

"No. I haven't read it all. I asked my T'Pol what I should do and she gathered all the information, in case I decided to give it to you. Just know that I really wanted to help and see you and your T'Pol become friends like T'Pol and I are."

"It looks like you may be more than friends soon."

"We already are. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but something changed for T'Pol when we went to find your tritanium. I just want you to be as happy as I am and I want T'Pol to be happy in whatever timeline she's in." The more he thought about it the more he saw things had begun to change before that, but then they changed even more after.

"Well thanks and there's a padd being delivered to your quarters. It's encoded to you. Commander T'Pol put some adjustments you can make to a few of your specs and calculations on it. I included some pictures for your collection." Lexington had a complete copy of Enterprise's database, but Enterprise would have no record of Lexington for security purposes. Couldn't have the wrong people getting the idea Starfleet had a Constitution class starship in this timeline.

"I thought you had that prime directive the Commander told me about that wouldn't allow you to advance our technology?"

"We do and we're not supposed to, but I trust you'll keep it all to yourself. You can tell T'Pol. I know if you ask her to keep it quiet she will. The Commander just gave you some suggestions to tweak your warp drive a little to stabilize it and maybe give you a little extra speed." The pictures were of the ship. Mostly engineering and a couple before they left space dock. Nothing detailed enough to be useful, but enough to satisfy the engineer in him. To remind him of the possibilities.

"I wish it wasn't necessary to seal up that tear, but you're right if the Romulans or Klingons in your timeline ever found their way here we'd be overrun in no time." He and T'Pol had discussed what it might be like to visit their timeline for a while. However, they knew it wasn't possible. If the forces from both timelines joined up in this timeline, Starfleet wouldn't stand a chance. The Romulans and Klingons would take over the entire quadrant.

"This place is violent enough without more destructive weapons. Hopefully what's happened in ours is a good omen for what will happen here." Somehow, Tucker doubted that. This world seemed to be at odds with too many parts of itself, but one could always hope.

"Bridge to Captain Tucker."

"Tucker here." He tapped his communicator.

"We're almost in position, sir." Commander Cummings let him know.

"I'm on my way. Tell Commander T'Pol to double check the program for the return route in the computer. Tucker out."

Tucker embraced Trip. "You take care of yourself and take care of T'Pol. Don't ever give up on her. You and I both know she's worth it."

"Yes she is and don't you forget that." Trip hugged his other self-fighting back tears.

"I feel like I'm leaving friends behind, but you're really more than that. I think someday I'm going to look back at this and be very thankful you and I met."

"Me too. Seeing you and your T'Pol together made everything clearer for me. Made me see I'd made choices about T'Pol and I needed to own up to them with myself and her. I may not get everything I wanted, but I've got more than I ever thought possible." Trip stepped back and shook Tucker's hand. "You tell Lizzie I said hello and tell Commander T'Pol I said thank you for what she did for my T'Pol. And don't ask me to explain it. I can't and even if I could it would take too long." Mind melds were still a mystery to him. They involved telepathy and connected one mind to another mind and it all sounded strange and fantastic.

"Tell everyone we all said goodbye and thanks for the adventure. It's definitely one I think we'll all remember for a very long time." Tucker walked to the turbolift to head to the bridge.

**Enterprise** **NX-01**

Enterprise was positioned where they could clearly see Lexington, but far enough away that when their probes detonated they would be outside the blast radius. The tactical station had been tied into a computer program written by the T'Pol's to fire the probes to reach the coordinates where sensors lost Lexington's signal as it passed back into it's own timeline. The charges were set to go off 2 minutes after they reached those coordinates. Lexington's computer would fire their phasers and the probes they had rigged once they were safely in their own timeline and force the tear to seal itself shut. Enterprise was to fire their own phasers when they saw signs of Lexington's phasers being fired. Once the repair was completed, Lexington would send a probe to ensure the tear was closed.

The whole operation took less than 30 minutes. Lexington engaged their warp drive and the computer retraced their previous flight path. They disappeared from view and the probes launched. There was a light show of sorts as the phasers blasts began for 5 minutes or so and then nothing. It must have worked because no probe cam through. The bridge got quiet and everyone attempted to pretend they had something to do. Archer went to his ready room, T'Pol started doing something at her science station, Hoshi put on her earpiece and started translating something, Malcolm left for the Armory, and Trip headed to engineering.

There was plenty to keep Trip occupied. He replaced several plasma injectors. It seemed they were failing everywhere. He went from one jeffries tube to the next for the rest of his shift. He didn't mind the work, in fact, he liked it. It gave him something to do, but they'd gone through half their spares in the four months since they'd left Jupiter Station. The crews there had replaced all the plasma injectors during their refit and repair after they returned from the expanse. They needed to contact Starfleet and see if they were aware of a problem and see about getting a new supply very soon. He needed a shower to wash the dirt off and try to relax his shoulder after the repetitive motion of taking fouled injectors out and putting the new one in.

---

Trip came into his quarters to find T'Pol sitting on the bed holding the blanket and pillow from the end of his bed and Captain Archer sitting in the chair at his desk. He was already nervous about how this evening was going to go and now Jon was here mutely staring first at T'Pol then him.

"Hello. Did I forget a meeting or a dinner date or something?" Trip asked hesitantly. He came here for a shower before he met with T'Pol.

"When I got here T'Pol was already here. I'm just waiting to see if you're free tonight, but I can see you're not. Maybe we could get together tomorrow night. Watch a game, have a drink, shoot some pool. Just let me know." Jon got up to leave. He should have left when he saw that Trip wasn't here. He could have just talked to him later.

"Tomorrow's fine. If you have a game we haven't watched that'd be great." Trip felt uncomfortable and he didn't know why. Partly because they were both in his quarters and they seemed uncomfortable. Jon seemed not exactly upset but definitely not happy. T'Pol was a mystery at the moment. He could see the emotions in her eyes, but needed more time to identify them. But she wanted to out of this confined space. She was feeling a little trapped, overexposed with Captain Archer in what Trip was coming to understand she considered a private space.

"I'll let you get to whatever plans you had. Sorry to interrupt." Jon moved past Trip and out the door rather hurriedly.

"What'd you say to him?" Trip asked T'Pol.

"Good evening, Captain." T'Pol answered.

"That's it? How long were you waiting here?"

"I got here a few minutes before the Captain. He was here almost 10 minutes."

"And all you said to him was good evening?" No wonder they were so uncomfortable. T'Pol he almost understood. But Jon should have been able to talk about something. The weather, the next mission, anything but 10 minutes of silence.

"I'm not good at small talk and I was not prepared to explain my presence here."

"You don't need to explain your presence here to anyone except maybe me. And you were afraid if you talked to him he'd ask about us and you didn't know what to say, right." He knew he was right.

"Do you read my mind?" Trip didn't know how serious a question that was. T'Pol was becoming convinced they were bonded and he sensed her moods. Either that or he had empathic abilities no one knew about. That was doubtful, as Doctor Phlox had done intensive testing on his brain after his transplant.

"No I'm just getting to know you really well, T'Pol. Although sometimes I do feel like I can read your mind." Trip had sensed her presence several times and it was much easier lately to know how she was feeling when he concentrated on her for a few minutes.

"I do not wish to discuss our relationship with anyone else."

Trip knelt down and hugged her. "It's okay I'm not talking either and it's making Jon crazy not knowing. He's not used to me keeping things from him. He's going to have to learn that just because he's my friend doesn't mean he gets to know every detail of my life. And as for you if you're still talking to me after tonight we'll work on some topics you can make small talk about with most anybody." He pulled back and smiled at her.

"You believe I will be angry at you for something?"

"You might be once I explain about that blanket and pillow you're holding." Trip searched for a reaction.

"You said this was a very good copy of my own. But it is more than that. It has my scent on it. How is that possible if I've never used these items?" T'Pol pulled them up to her nose taking in her own scent and Trip's.

This wasn't the way he'd planned to do this, but there really wasn't a good way. And he needed to tell her so maybe it would stop haunting him. He sat on the floor opposite T'Pol and started. "The first day I went down to that planet for my shore leave I found this spot overlooking a lake. It was quiet and remote, so I leaned up against this tree to try to meditate on my own." Now the hard part. "I heard a noise and when I opened my eyes you were coming out of the trees carrying this blanket and pillow. I guess I was thinking about you and then there you were. You...You walked over and laid out the blanket and then you pulled me onto it and we...you...I.."

"Had sexual relations with what you thought was me?" T'Pol finished for him. It wasn't hard to know what he was trying to say.

She didn't seem mad. How'd she do that? Just state something so personal like it was no big deal. "Yes. After I woke up, I thought it had been one of my fantasies, but then I realized it had really happened and I thought you seduced me and bailed again. When I got back to Enterprise with the blanket and pillow, which I thought were yours, I intended to find you and let you have it. Then Ensign Dodge informed me you hadn't left the ship. Then I thought it might have been Commander T'Pol on the planet, but that didn't make any sense at all. She's with Captain Tucker and she was you, but not really you. If it were her I'd have known the difference." Or at least he hoped so. He took a breath. "I went to sickbay to have Phlox check me out and found Tucker there and he said his T'Pol hadn't gone to the surface. Then the doc said I was in perfect health and had even been getting plenty of sleep. Later when we figured out about the amusement park, I knew what really happened. Then it all got weird for me. I felt guilty that I'd had sex with anyone who wasn't you. And then Malcolm tried to explain what the dreams or fantasy people were and I didn't know what to do then. I cut him off because it felt too surreal. They were created underground and we all thought they were real." What a nightmare of a conversation that had been. Malcolm tried to find out what was wrong with Trip, probably thought he's lost his mind. Finally, Trip had lied and said it was seeing Lizzie.

"So you feel guilty, but I am unclear as to why?" T'Pol could see his confusion and remorse, but she really didn't understand why he felt this way.

He cheated on her with...he wasn't even sure what to call her. Dream wasn't right, a fantasy wasn't real, she wasn't a person, she wasn't really alive, a machine seemed cold and that she wasn't. Malcolm had called them androids. That was as good a word as any he supposed. He knew T'Pol might not think he cheated on her, but he did. It may have been 'an android' and it may have seemed real, but he didn't see what happened any different than if he'd been missing T'Pol, then drank too much and picked up someone in a bar and had a one night stand. Someone who wasn't T'Pol. If he'd allowed the rational part of his brain to engage at all, he would have known it wasn't real. T'Pol wouldn't have seduced him again and she certainly wouldn't have done it outdoors where anyone could have happened by. She would have spoken to him and if he were honest, he knew what was happening was a culmination of all the fantasies he'd been having about her for months.

"I had sex with someone who looked like you, but wasn't you and somewhere..." He pointed to his head. "...in here I knew that. The whole thing about what she was still sends chills down my spine when I think about it." He'd been trying to decide if he'd compromised his morals having slept with his own emotionless human like sex toy. To come to some conclusion he'd need to talk it out with someone and he wasn't ever going to be able to do that.

"Trip, I do not understand why you feel you owe me an explanation. We were not together. We were just very good friends."

"No we weren't and that's something I finally came to terms with. Whatever we are we're together T'Pol and we have been for months. At least I have been and if you're honest about it, I think you have been too. We've never said it outloud but we've both felt it. When I said I'm not going anywhere I meant it. Whatever we are unless you tell me to go I'm staying with you. If we become lovers I'd be thrilled, but if we never do I'll be okay with that too." The new neuropressure postures seemed to be alleviating most of his sexual tension and frustration anyway. He'd managed to go three years and have actual sex only 3 times, well technically four, but putting his hand in the rocks wasn't about sex to him. Being with T'Pol meant more than sex and he'd miss it, but he could live without it.

Too much too fast. What could she say? He just pledged himself to her and swore off sex. "So you sleep with my blanket?" T'Pol laid them back at the end of his bed.

Trip noticed the sharp left, and not knowing what else to do just went along. "Some nights it's nice to just breathe in your scent. It relaxes me and then I can fall right to sleep." Those nights when his brain wouldn't slow down or he felt insecure about something he snuggled up to the blanket or laid his head on the pillow and let her scent fill the air around him.

"I came here this evening because I wanted to be around you. I'm feeling..." That was the first strange thing this evening. Her feelings. "...I'm not sure what it is I'm feeling." She just wanted to be with Trip so whatever this was wouldn't feel so empty.

Trip instantly knew what was wrong. "Are you missing Captain Tucker and Commander T'Pol? I know I am. They weren't even here that long and I feel like I lost two really close friends. I'd feel better if we knew for sure they got back home safe, but we'll never really know." Trip really wanted to know things were going to work out for them.

"I don't know because I didn't have a friend until I met you. Something's not here that should be and I was lonely, so I came to see you. I need you to help me to understand how to make it stop because I cannot suppress it. I've tried." The only time she had been unable to suppress emotions like these was when they involved Trip. Actually, Trip was the only one who had ever caused emotions like these.

"So you miss them and you were lonely." She admitted to having emotions and asked for his help. "I can try to keep our minds off the missing them part and I hope spending time with me takes care of the lonely part." What could he do to help her? There wasn't a crash course in emotions. But telling her that right now wasn't going to help at all. "For humans it's just something you learn to deal with. You try not to think about whatever is making you feel sad and then one day you don't feel as bad." Vulcans don't have friends. If you are never close to anybody, there are fewer emotions you have to suppress.

"Why don't you take that shower you came to take and we can go get something to eat. If it's okay I'll wait for you here and layer we can come back here and read the Kir'Shara or we can go to my quarters and learn the next neuropressure posture."

T'Pol didn't know what to say to him about his experience. She wasn't angry, jealous, or anything other than relieved. It was a dream come to life that he really couldn't be blamed for; even though she now knew she would never convince him of that. And it wasn't real so posed no threat to her. She was relieved that he had finally told her what was bothering him. She'd known there was something and to find out all she had to do was let it and his guilty feelings drift away into the farthest corners of his mind, as they eventually would according to what he'd just said about how she felt, was a relief. She'd keep him occupied trying to help her deal with her feelings and maybe that would help him forget his.

She's not upset or mad. He'd already worked through what to say to her, but he wasn't prepared for whatever this was. Women always baffled him, but this one always tilted his world and kept him off-center. At first, it drove him to distraction, but now he found it was one of the things that appealed to him. As close as they were and as well, as he knew her he was never quite sure what to expect. And when he was the surest about things that was when they would most likely turn out very different. "I'm going to take that shower, but could you start teaching me that logic game later? I think I need to work on looking at things more logically." Maybe that was the answer to how her mind worked. Logic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

** Perceiving her Conception of the Future  
**

"Starfleet wants us back at Jupiter station. They need to replace all our plasma injectors and check to be sure the defective ones haven't caused any major damage to our systems." Captain Archer informed his senior staff. He had ordered Ensign Mayweather to change course for home once they finished here. Starfleet wanted to debrief them about Lexington anyway. Archer had filed his report of the whole incident after they returned home. Admiral Forrest wasn't pleased, but hadn't been too harsh when he let Captain Archer know that.

"So we're going home. How many meetings do we have to attend and how long do they think we'll be there?" Trip guessed about two weeks to change out all the injectors and another week to run diagnostics on the systems. Spending that time in interviews at headquarters didn't really sound like too much fun.

"They haven't said. I'm encouraging any crew who wants leave time to request it as soon as possible. If it's been approved by me then they'll be able to escape before Starfleet knows they're gone." His crew would scatter into the wind the minute the last clamp engaged at space dock and he'd suffer through the meetings.

"Then Captain I would like to request Commander Tucker and I be allowed to take 2 weeks leave." T'Pol told Archer.

Trip sat there not saying a word. Where that came from, he didn't know. Spontaneity was not something he'd ever associate with T'Pol. He waited for her to say something. Anything.

"And what do I list as your destination on the requests?" The Captain asked.

"Vulcan. We will be spending it at my mother's house on Vulcan." T'Pol answered as if it should be no surprise to anyone that she was taking Trip home with her.

"Trip?" Archer was asking for his confirmation.

"You heard her. We'll be at her mom's house." Trip said with as little emotion as he could manage, while trying to keep the smile off his face.

The Captain looked to his other staff, who all appeared stunned. "Anybody else requesting leave?"

Malcolm was the first to respond. "Sure I can always use some time to go sightseeing. Just put I'll be anywhere, but San Francisco. I never really went anywhere else in the US when I was at the Academy."

Hoshi was next. "Put down I'm going to East Asia. My family has a house there. I can use some down time by myself." Hoshi decided it was better to avoid people. Her last shore leave left her feeling a little exposed.

"Captain, I don't know where to go. Put down I'm going climbing in Northern California. I might change my mind, but that's good for now." Travis offered.

"We'll be home in two days. You're dismissed."

Trip was the first out the door with T'Pol right behind him. "Trip." She called after him. He stopped, took her hand and pulled her with him into the turbolift.

"Why are we going to Vulcan?" Trip asked as soon as the door closed.

"My mother sent me a message asking that I come home on my next leave."

"Is she alright?" Suddenly he was concerned.

"She did not say. She simply requested I come home. Are you upset that I did not ask you first?"

"Surprised but not upset. Why would I be upset?" They were spending two weeks together, what was there to be upset about.

"I made plans for you without consulting you first."

"Did you really think I'd say no?"

"No, but it's still customary to ask someone if they wish to go meet your mother, isn't it?" She'd want to be warned if she were going to meet his parents.

"Okay, you have a point. Going to Vulcan with you no problem. The part about meeting you mom is a little scary. Are you sure, you're ready for that? Does she even know anything about me?"

"You are ...very important to me and I wish you to meet my mother and also to visit Vulcan with me. Are you afraid to meet my mother?"

"A little. That's kind of a big deal for humans."

"Well, in this case it's a big deal for Vulcans too." Vulcan parents chose the child's mate and introduced them not the other way around.

"So you're going to introduce me as whom exactly?

"We will determine what exactly to say to my mother before we arrive at her house."

"Whatever you say." This was a little rushed, but he told her they were going to do this, whatever this was, however she needed to. Therefore, he was just going to have sit back and do just that. He kissed her on the cheek just before the lift door opened to engineering. "I'll see you at lunch."

---

He saw him coming. He'd been making bets with himself all morning about which one would come to see him first. "Good morning, Captain."

"Good morning, Trip."

Trip waited for some indication of why he was here. "Is there something you need, sir?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little heads up about my best friend going to meet his girl's mother." Archer was more than a little put out that Trip hadn't said anything about whatever was going on with T'Pol.

"We didn't really talk about it too much before T'Pol made her request. Didn't know we'd be heading back to Earth so soon." He didn't want to say they hadn't talked about it at all because then Jon wouldn't leave him alone.

"So does meeting mom mean anything special?" Jon believed it meant the same thing it meant to humans. They were in a long-term, serious relationship.

"I'll make a deal with you. You go ask T'Pol whatever it is you want to know and if she tells you anything, anything at all, we can talk." If Jon got up the nerve to ask Trip wanted to be there for that conversation. He and T'Pol had been working on her social skills. She could now fake her way through small talk if she needed to and she was getting very good at evasive maneuvers.

"She's not going to tell me anything and you know it." This was going exactly nowhere. Maybe Malcolm would have better luck.

"Then I guess I'm not either. And you know that." Trip smiled to himself as he watched Jon leave. Now he just had to wait for Malcolm to show up. It didn't take long.

"Hey, Trip. You busy?"

"No, not really. Not much to do except replace the injectors that go bad until we get back to space dock."

"So what's the visit to Vulcan all about?"

Malcolm got right to the point, which surprised Trip. "Look Mal if you want to talk about the Armory or Engineering or baseball fine. If you want to talk about T'Pol, you need to go ask T'Pol. Okay?"

"Okay." That had to be the quickest shut down ever. Trip was usually so open.

"Have you asked Hoshi out yet?" Changing the subject was easy with Malcolm.

"No."

"You have two weeks of leave. Why don't you ask her to go sightseeing with you? It doesn't have to be anything besides two friends traveling together if you don't want it to be. Separate rooms, pay your own way. Just ask her Mal." Trip knew he wanted to. "I'll tell you what I'll ask her for you."

"What? Why would you do that?" Malcolm considered it for a minute. "No, it would make us look like we're back in school."

"Would you rather look like a high schooler or go on vacation by yourself?"

Maybe this would work. He'd tried to ask her out three times and couldn't get the words out. "So what would you say?"

"I'd tell her you would like her to go sight-seeing with you. That you'd go as friends or it could be a long first date if she'd prefer." Trip only offered as a joke, but Malcolm was really thinking about it.

"You'd really ask her?"

"Yes, Mal I'd really ask her?" This was really starting to sound like high school.

"I'll let you know at lunch. I need time to think about it." Malcolm was in a daze when he walked out the door.

What did I just do? All he'd wanted to do was divert his attention away from T'Pol and now he was going to have to ask Hoshi to go on a date with Malcolm.

---

Malcolm wasn't there, yet. Trip decided he'd better warn T'Pol about what he'd managed to end up promising Mal. "T'Pol I may be asking Hoshi to go on a date with Malcolm."

"Why would you ask her? Shouldn't Lt. Reed ask her?"

"Yes, he should but he can't so I said I'd do it for him."

"Are you the only male who's not afraid to talk about relationships?"

"It's got nothing to do with fear for me to ask her. She's not going to accept or reject me. I just hope if I ask her he can manage to take care of the rest." If T'Pol thought he wasn't afraid to talk to her about their relationship he'd been much better at hiding it than he thought. "Oh and the captain might try asking you about our going to Vulcan."

"He already did."

Trip caught off guard, smiled. Jon was braver than he thought. "I should have warned you, but I didn't think he'd ask you. So what did you tell him?"

"We are going to Vulcan together." T'Pol said it in all seriousness.

"He already knew that."

"He stated we were going and I confirmed this. He asked what we might do or see there and I told him we had not discussed it. Then I asked him if he had ever visited Vulcan before. He said no, so I asked him if there was anywhere, he'd like to visit there and he said he wasn't familiar with the sights. Before I could finish my next question he said he had to go finish up some paperwork before we arrived back at Jupiter Station." T'Pol found the challenge to be rewarding. Her goal had been to evade his questioning without resorting to what Trip referred to as the last resort of telling him it was personal.

"That was perfect. I might need to practice a little before we get back from Vulcan. I tried evading Mal and ended being his matchmaker." Vulcans were better at being evasive. They seemed to think faster on their feet or at least T'Pol did. Jon must be furious.

"Perhaps not." T'Pol directed his gaze across the room. Malcolm was sitting talking with Hoshi.

---

"Did I say it right?"

"Yes, I understood every word."

"Then why did they look at me like that?" No facial expressions changed, but the reaction was no less visible to him. The shocked look in every pair of eyes was intimidating, somehow.

"I believe they were surprised you spoke Vulcan. I'm sure they fear you understood some of the less favorable comments regarding us." T'Pol had heard many whispered conversations and now they had reason to think a human had witnessed their unacceptable and very un-Vulcan behavior.

"So they've been talking about us?" Trip had no illusions about what to expect when others became aware of the relationship between himself and T'Pol, but he hadn't noticed any negative reactions until now.

"Yes and they also believe most humans expect other species to learn their language and arrogantly refuse to learn other species languages themselves." T'Pol heard many comments about a Vulcan choosing a mate from another species and wanted to keep them from Trip, so tried to change the subject.

"That's always had been a problem on Earth. We play at learning another language in school, but after that most people don't bother. I always thought if someone comes to where I live they should learn my language, but if I'm the one visiting I should learn their language or be able to translate it."

"Many of my people who have traveled from Vulcan have never encountered humans who feel as you do. It was several years before any of the humans stationed at Earth's embassy on Vulcan learned to speak without a universal translator." Humans on Vulcan had a difficult time. Vulcan society was calm and quiet. No one invaded anyone else's personal boundaries. And while some other species knew of Vulcans telepathic and empathic abilities there was no way for them to truly understand what it meant to be forced to erect mental shields most all day everyday of one's life.

"So what have they been saying about us?"

"Some are curious, others see me as dishonorable, and some think I should no longer be considered Vulcan. The same range of views I'm sure you will hear on Earth from your people. The difference is most Vulcans would not dare say such things directly." Vulcan society demanded one show respect and honor the privacy of others. Humans were far more likely to scream their comments, good or bad, to others on the street.

Trip began to hear chanting. Not usually, something he listened to, but he found it soothing. "What is this place?"

"It is the Temple of T'Panit. This is a place my family has come to for centuries."

"So why are we here?" This place was old and sacred. He was sure they weren't here as part of her sightseeing tour.

"I will explain soon. We must find Master Telok who resides here."

"Is that a priest?"

"No. There is a priest here, but we do not require his services today."

"Are you going to tell me why we're here?"

T'Pol spotted the Vulcan Master. "In a moment. Please remain her." T'Pol approached the Vulcan, her hand raised in a Vulcan salute. They spoke for several minutes before T'Pol returned to Trip's side. "We must talk. There is much I need to explain to you." Grasping his hand, she led him into the temple, down a long cavern into a small room, where she motioned for him to sit.

"We spent two days on a Vulcan ship couldn't we have talked then?" There would have been more than enough time to tell him whatever she needed to tell him. Instead, they'd talked about Malcolm and Hoshi. Malcolm had asked her to go sightseeing with him. Hoshi ended up inviting him to come to join her the last week in Asia. Her sister was going to be there the first week, but once she left Hoshi had planned to spend the time alone. There were several rooms available so Malcolm would have his choice of accommodations.

This had all happened so much faster than she planned. "I wished us to be someplace private and free of distractions. You are aware that a bond forms between Vulcans mates?"

"Yeah. I have a vague idea about what that means, but I don't know for sure." Trip had put together that it was important and a life-long commitment.

"The bond is usually formed between children so when the proper time comes they will be drawn together to perform the kun-ut kali-fi or marriage ceremony. They will then begin their lives together as a bonded couple and live together for a year."

"Okay they get married. But when is the proper time. You keep saying that but I don't understand what that means or how you know it's the proper time." He'd wanted to ask before when she'd said it, but never did.

"Once Vulcans reach full maturity they enter into something known as Pon Farr. It is the time of mating. We must mate or we die. It is the time when we can have children and after the first time it occurs again for three days every seven years."

"That's what Kov meant about having sex every seven years." No wonder he said they were trying to shorten the length of time in between.

"It's not the only time Vulcans can mate, but it is most often the first time and for some it is the only time." She had no idea how this all must sound to a human. Vulcans learn this when they are young and never discuss it again until it occurs. "When one bonded mate begins Pon Farr the other soon follows. The bond formed between mates is of the mind as well as the body. Making the sharing of thoughts, images, and emotions possible. Some you can learn to shield, but not all. During Pon Farr there is nothing but raw emotion and sexual desire." T'Pol waited to be sure he was understanding and had no questions. Trip remained quiet.

T'Pol continued. "Remember when we began the new postures in neuropressure and you told me it felt different?"

"Yes." He knew there was something more to those new postures than the relaxation she'd mentioned.

"I had just learned that a bond might be possible between you and I and the new postures were meant to see if that were true. If it were, I planned to discuss it with you to decide how we wished to proceed. What I didn't know was that a bond might have already begun to form between us. We have both experienced things that say this is true." T'Pol watched his eyes to try to see what he might be thinking.

"I really can feel your presence when you come into a room? It's not my imagination is it?"

"That and you sense my emotions as I sense yours. I was not aware of this until the mind meld repaired the some of the damage to my neural pathways. My mind became quieter and it has become clear that you are a presence in my mind." In the confusion her mind had become T'Pol assumed it was her own thoughts she heard, never believing they could be his.

"So we bonded somehow? It must have happened months ago because I've been feeling things for a long time, but I thought it was just because we were so close." Does this mean our minds are connected for life? He wondered.

"I brought you here today to have the existence of the bond confirmed. If it is acceptable to you it will be officially recorded in the temple records and when the proper time arrives we will return here to marry." He had already said they were together, so she did not foresee him objecting, but there was always a chance.

"So why now and what exactly will that mean? We're engaged? What?" Captain Tucker and his T'Pol went through something similar and they were engaged according to T'Pol.

"We will be betrothed or engaged, which means a bond has formed between us. We are mates and will remain so for the rest of our lives. If you wish we can marry before my Pon Farr, but this is traditional in my culture. Marriages that take place outside of tradition are usually for political or personal gain due to some arrangement made to benefit the families."

T'Pol considered his other question. "I did not foresee us being on Vulcan so soon but we are here now so it seems logical to formalize our relationship in the tradition of my people. This will remove any doubts about me for you, so you can stop holding your breath waiting to see if I will change my mind."

Trip hadn't told her he was still a little unsure of her commitment to their relationship. He'd been fighting the voice in the back of his head warning him to be careful. She seemed to know without him telling her. "This would make it this thing between us official and you would have to issue a challenge at the wedding to get out of it unless I agreed?" Trip had read about the marriage ceremony, a while back in the Vulcan database and part of the information was about challenges, if both parties did not agree to sever the bond. "And that's all okay with you and all I need to do is agree?"

He always surprised her with the extent of his reading and his knowledge. "There is a provision for challenging the completion of a bond, but I would never wish to challenge our bond. If you do not wish to have this ceremony today, we will continue as we have been. Our bond will strengthen over time and we will work out the rest as we have been doing." Completion of the bond would occur during Pon Farr, regardless. He would become just as overcome with need as she would when the time came.

"So if there is a bond this Master Telok will see it or feel it?" Nothing would really change, except he could stop worrying so much about the ground shifting under his feet. This seemed to easy, but Trip was not going to argue with her. He was getting almost everything he wanted.

"Yes. If there is one, it will become stronger once he makes the connection to both our minds, as we will then both recognize it for what it is. A bond is the only explanation for what is happening to us." How strong it would become T'Pol didn't know.

"If we're already bonded I guess we should know. I told you we'd do this however, you needed to. What do I have to do?"

"We will go into the temple sanctuary and kneel across from each other. The Master will touch your face and enter your mind and then he will do the same to me. You will feel his presence first then you will feel mine. Once he verifies that a bond exist he will break the connection. He will record the ceremony and we will leave here to go see my mother."

Well, could she make it sound any less romantic or unimportant? He supposed to a Vulcan that was just how things worked. No romance, no declarations of love, just a bond and till death do us part. He was going to have to work on that with her. Then he thought of her mother. He'd forgotten they'd be going from here to see her mother. That was scarier now than it had been before. He'd thought they'd tell her they were dating or something. Now they would have to tell her about their engagement and bonding. "And what are you going to tell your mom?"

"The truth. I cannot lie to her. She has a bond with me and will eventually sense our connection." The bond between a parent and an adult child was weak, but in close proximity, her mother would sense her stronger emotions and the bond, especially since Trip was human and unable to shield his emotions.

This was her mom, so he would just let her tell her whatever she decided she wanted to tell her. He just needed to get through one thing at a time. "This is a mind meld I'm agreeing to, isn't it?"

"I have recently learned it is, but that fact has been hidden from my people. The Kir'Shara identifies many of our most sacred ceremonies as actually being mind melds. Most people would not know this as the practice is forbidden." T'Pol didn't want to think about this today. She was still angry about being lied to." Is that a problem for you?"

"No. It sounds strange, but if I'm bonded to you and that means you're going to be in my head I might as well get used to it." It still sounded strange. The whole idea of someone else being in his mind, but apparently T'Pol was already there and if that was true he wanted to know it was her.

"Let's forget about your mom and all this other stuff and just think about what's going on right here, right now." He slid around to embrace her. He could feel the release of tension across the back of her neck as he rubbed it.

---

Trip reached for her hand. "Can I do this here?" T'Pol may find holding hands acceptable around humans, but they weren't around humans.

"Yes you may, but I do ask that we not touch once we get to my mothers until after we talk to her." How to tell her mother and what to tell her mother were questions she still had not answered.

"If we touch she'll know we're bonded won't she?" He still couldn't get used to the idea that they were bonded and had been for some time.

"She will sense our bond anyway, but out of respect we must inform her not just assume she'll figure it out." T'Pol and her mother may disagree on many things and she knew her mother may reject her because of the bond, but she was her mother and deserved T'Pol's respect.

"I understand I'm going to have to tell my parents something soon. Wouldn't want them to hear some gossip or see a news report or something." He and T'Pol weren't going to shout it from the rooftops, but their relationship was bound to get out eventually. The rumors aboard ship had quieted, but with the two of them coming to Vulcan on leave together, they would start up again. "Tell me about your mom. All I know is she's an instructor at the Academy of Science, she's never left Vulcan, and she's a widow."

"I would rather you draw your own conclusions. She and I have not been on the best of terms recently and I do not wish to influence your opinion." She simply had no idea how to describe her to Trip.

They entered the atrium. "This is home? I like it. It suits you."

"My mother will be pleased you approve. She has spent many hours making it just so." T'Pol had always thought her home was nice, but thought her mother invested too much time decorating it. T'Pol led Trip into the house.

"It's so cool in here. I didn't think you had air conditioning on Vulcan?" Trip was glad to be indoors. The late afternoon sun was beginning to take its toll on him.

"We do not. The coverings on the windows and the building materials used allow for proper ventilation and keep the worst of the sun's heat from entering during the day." T'Pol started down the hall. "I will show you to the guest room."

Trip followed her. She pointed to a door. "This is my room." She continued to the room next door. "You will be in here."

Trip stood next to the bed. "I won't know what to do with all this room." He'd become accustomed to the smaller bunks on Enterprise.

"You may shower if you wish or you may help me prepare the evening meal." T'Pol let him know.

"First, I require a kiss from my...what do I call you? My fiancée, my girlfriend, what?"

"On Vulcan I am your chosen or ko-kugalsu and you are my sa-kugalsu. Both mean fiancée. One is the feminine form; the other is the masculine form." Some older Vulcans might refer to them as betrothed, but most would not.

"So fiancée it is. I require a kiss from my ko-kugalsu." Trip touched his lips to hers very softly, and then wrapped his arms tightly around her back. He let himself relax into the feeling of having everything he ever wanted right here in his arms. There hadn't been time to let the events of the last few weeks sink in and being in her mom's house wasn't going to allow him to really decompress and examine what all this meant.

---

T'Les entered the house. The unlocked door told her T'Pol must have arrived. She heard talking and turned toward the voices. T'Pol threw something at the young man laughing at her across the kitchen. Whatever it was had missed him and was now decorating the wall directly behind him.

"Stop doing that. How are we going to explain this mess to your mother?" Trip complained as he tried to stop laughing.

"That is a very good question daughter." T'Les let them know of her presence.

Trip looked at T'Les then looked at the wall. There were several splats of food plastered there. T'Pol stood with her hands clasped behind her back moving her gaze from her mother to Trip and back again.

Trip broke the trance when he moved to the sink grabbing a towel on the way. He was still trying to stifle a laugh while running water over the towel, avoiding looking at either woman. "I'm sorry ma'am this is my fault. I'll have it cleaned up in no time." He apologized as he moved back to the wall, first peeling the fruit off then wiping the rest of the residue off.

"Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes mother." T'Pol informed her with her normal even tone and no sign that anything out of the ordinary had taken place.

"We have a guest T'Pol are you going to introduce us?" It was not like T'Pol to be so playful or to forget to introduce her guest.

"This is Charles Tucker III, mother. He prefers to be called Trip." Trip turned his body in T'Les' direction. He wished he could crawl under the table or at least be like T'Pol who was standing there all composed and innocent looking.

"Charles, it is nice to meet you. Are you a colleague of T'Pol's?" T'Les watched as he continued to clean up the wall.

He stopped his cleaning for a moment. "Nice to meet you to ma'am and yes we work together on Enterprise. I'm a Commander and the Chief Engineer." Trip wasn't going to say anymore. That was up to T'Pol. Now, while he was washing food off the wall, wasn't really a good time to expect her to be overly cordial.

T'Les turned her full attention to her daughter. In Vulcan she asked, "Why is he here?"

"I asked him to join me mother and speaking in Vulcan serves no purpose as Trip understands it fairly well." T'Pol had responded in English.

"You speak Vulcan?" T'Les asked Trip.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm by no means perfect, but I can hold my own in a conversation." He'd practiced on the Vulcan ship, with a couple of the crew, and found he could get his point across most of the time and he usually could understand what anyone said to him. But why did everyone look at him like that when they found out he spoke Vulcan?

Dinner over and the kitchen cleaned T'Les sat observing her daughter and her friend Charles sitting at the table just outside the door working at plomeek. It was a child's game used to teach the basics of logic. The way they moved their hands so close then just before they touched they pulled them away. That and the way he looked at T'Pol told T'Les the two were friends, very close friends.

---

"Explain getting up at 4 am for breakfast again?" T'Les wasn't going to the Academy today. Trip guessed this was so she could fill T'Pol in on why she wanted her to come home. Day off or not Mom was up at 4 am banging that gong, and soon after was ready for her tea and breakfast.

"It is a show of respect for guest to make the morning meal the first day of their visit." T'Pol could see Trip wanted to go back to bed.

"The first day, so we don't have to do this again?" He hadn't even managed to drink any of his tea.

"You can sleep a little longer in the morning. Drink your tea it will help." She'd made him an extra strong cup of green tea.

"Thanks. Maybe I'll disappear for a while and you can talk to your mom. I'll take a long cold shower. That should help wake me up." Trip drank the tea. It tasted awful, but T'Pol said it would help and he hadn't spotted any coffee. Must be that all Vulcans hated the flavor.

"My mother will let me know when she wishes to speak to me. Would you like to go 'sight-seeing' today or would you rather remain here."

"Can we please try to find coffee somewhere on this planet?" He needed caffeine he could drink to wake him up.

"We can go to the human sector and purchase some." She'd planned to take him there so they could see how much it had changed since she had been here last anyway.

"Your mom's still meditating?" She'd been gone over an hour.

"She may be awhile. I'm sure your presence has unsettled her. She is still trying to determine what our relationship is." T'Pol had no doubt her mother knew, but was in denial.

"If we're going out I'll take a shower when we come back. I'll need one by then." The hot, dry air would drain him quickly and the shower would revive him enough to make it through the evening without dozing off.

When the pair returned from their excursion Trip caught movement in the distance as they walked down the path to the house. "You have company." Trip saw a Vulcan male pacing back and forth across the atrium.

"It is Koss." T'Pol stated.

"The Koss?" Should he be upset that her ex was here?

"Yes. He must want to speak to me. If you do not wish me to speak to him I will not."

"It's not up to me. If you want to talk to him then talk to him." Since when did she ask him whom she could speak to? He didn't care whom she talked to.

"Yes, it is up to you. If one is engaged to marry they should not spend time alone with an un-bonded member of the opposite sex." T'Pol knew this would be strange to a human.

"So you can't be alone with him? Do you want to talk to him?" Trip asked while he tried to figure out why they couldn't be alone. What did they think might happen? It must have something to do with those challenges. There had to be a reason why they were part of the ritual.

"I should see what he wants. Would you remain outside? You do not need to speak, just be there." Koss was here about their broken betrothal and she wanted Trip close by, just in case.

"Sure. Are you sure you're okay with this?" He could sense her uneasiness. He wanted to take her hand so he could get a clearer picture of what she was feeling, but knew it would give Koss more information than T'Pol was prepared to offer.

"I will be fine." She had hoped to inform her mother of their relationship first, but Koss may be the first to hear the news.

"Good afternoon, Koss." T'Pol greeted him as they passed through the gate.

"Good afternoon, T'Pol. May I speak with you?" Koss watched as Trip set his packages near the door and took up a position across the atrium.

"How may I help you?" T'Pol acted as if Trip were not there.

"It is a private matter." Koss said pointedly in Trip's direction.

T'Pol motioned to Trip. "This is Charles Tucker and you may say whatever it is you need to say in his presence."

Koss wished to be alone, but stated his reason for being here. "I must speak to you of our betrothal. My parents believe in the old traditions and wish you to reconsider your earlier decision." Koss reached out touching her fingers. Trip took a step forward stopping when he perceived T'Pol's reaction to the touch. A strong surge of revulsion ran through him as she pulled her hand away.

"That is not possible." T'Pol knew he would press harder.

Koss ignored the expression in T'Pol's eyes as she held Trip's full attention. "It is possible. You only have to say 'yes' and we can be married before you return to your ship."

T'Pol broke her gaze away from Trip. "As of yesterday Charles Tucker became my sa-kugalsu. As I am already bonded with him I cannot be bonded to you."

"How is this possible? You cannot bond with a human." Koss didn't believe her or didn't want to believe her.

"You are free to check with Master Tolek at T'Panit. He performed the ceremony yesterday and will gladly confirm the existence of our bond." T'Pol debated asking him to keep the news quiet, but decided it didn't matter. If her people disapproved, it made no difference to her. Her choice had been made; it could not be undone.

"You do not know what you have done?" Koss spat at her as he turned to go. Leaving no doubt that Vulcans do have emotions, in his wake.

Trip closed the distance between them, stopping short of touching her. "What was that when he touched you?" He couldn't believe her reaction and that he'd felt it so strongly.

"As part of a bonded pair any contact with one who has inappropriate feelings towards you will cause the same reaction. The bond acts to protect itself from intruders. The stronger the feelings the more uncomfortable the reaction." There was so much for them both to learn about their bond.

"That's different. At first, I felt like hurting him, but then I knew you were fine and I had no reason to be jealous. It was because you felt such revulsion at his touch wasn't it?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time explaining the bond." She had considered what to tell him and what could wait. It was hard to determine what situations they would encounter and what exactly the nature of their bond would be so early in its development.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. How can you plan for something like that? You really need to talk to your mom, though. Wouldn't want her to hear about us from Koss or his family." He could almost hear his parents if that were to happen to them.

The pair picked up their packages and entered the house.

"Are you going to speak to Koss?" T'Les asked as T'Pol sat down in the living area.

"I have already spoken to him. He left." T'Pol waited for the next question. Having no doubt about what it would be.

"You spoke to him in the presence of Charles?" T'Les knew why Koss wished to speak to her daughter. It was not something discussed with off-worlders.

"Yes, mother. I had no choice. Trip is my sa-kugalsu. We completed the ceremony yesterday. I'm sure you understand why I could not speak to Koss without Trip present." Not the way she had rehearsed this, but it was done.

"Completed the ceremony where?" T'Les had seen the closeness between them, but not this.

"The temple mother. Master Tolek confirmed our bond and recorded it if you wish to inquire as to its validity." Her mother would not check. It would appear as if she did not trust her child and T'Les would never bring disgrace to her family in that way. She held out her hand to Trip who had joined her on the bench.

"How can you be bonded to a human? He can't possibly understand what this means." T'Les sensed their connection, but convinced herself it wasn't possible.

Why did Vulcans assume that because he was human he didn't know anything about their culture? "T'Pol explained it all to me beforehand. You can't honestly think she would have bonded with me without telling me what it meant. I know this is quite a shock, but I hope you can accept us."

T'Pol was worn out and so was Trip. She needed to meditate. He didn't know how he knew this, but he did. He stood up pulling T'Pol toward her room. "Come on you need to meditate." He turned to T'Les. "I'm sure you could use some time alone to ma'am." When they got to her room, he walked across to her bed and dropped face first into it. "I'm going to take a little nap. Wake me when you're done and we'll have a late lunch." By the time T'Pol lit her candles he was asleep.

---

"Mother why did you ask me to come home?" Whatever the reason T'Pol would be fine as long as it hadn't been for Koss's attempt to get her to reconsider their marriage.

"There have been many threats of dismissal or trumped up charges being made against me from the Ministry of Security. You have made some enemies here and they cannot reach you so they are targeting me. Koss' father offered his assistance if you were to honor your betrothal and marry Koss. Had I been aware of your relationship with Charles I would not have bothered you." That wasn't the whole truth, but should be enough to satisfy T'Pol.

"Mother it is not a bother and I could not tell you about Trip before. We have been close for some time now, but I kept pushing him away. He is persistent and kept pushing back until I finally gave in to the inevitable. He didn't know of the ceremony until I explained it all to him yesterday." Trying to explain their time in the expanse and the last several weeks seemed like a daunting task, especially when T'Pol didn't understand some of it herself.

"Can you truly bond with him? And how long will it be before you abandon Vulcan, logic and the teachings of Surak altogether?"

"I have abandoned nothing and Trip would never ask me too. He is learning Vulcan and we read Surak and study logic together." They were actually studying the Kir'Shara but T'Pol couldn't tell her that without disobeying orders and telling her about other timelines and Lexington. Her mother was part of the contingent who believed time travel was not possible. T'Pol could no longer deny it was possible. If she did, she'd have to deny the influence those other timelines had had on her and Trip.

"You allow him to touch you inappropriately." Holding hands was a human gesture and T'Les knew that.

"It is a compromise I find acceptable. We could walk around with our fingers touching in the Vulcan way, and if I asked him to he would, but that seems unrealistic. He has never asked to touch me in public; it was me who first held his hand. He thanked me because he expected that I would never be comfortable allowing it and he will never ask for more than that." T'Pol heard her door open then heard his footsteps moving away from them. He must be going to take a shower.

T'Pol went to make coffee so it would be ready when Trip finished his shower. "Mother what can you do now that I am unable to assist you by marrying Koss?"

"I have people who will help if I need it." Marrying Koss would only have bought her some time and she knew this. She'd wanted him to protect T'Pol, but Charles was protecting her now. Probably more than by Koss and his family. Charles seemed to care a great deal about her daughter. "I'll be fine."

Trip made noise coming down the hall. He hoped he'd given them enough time for their mother-daughter chat. "T'Pol weren't you supposed to wake me when you finished meditating?" Trip asked her as he accepted the cup of coffee she held before him. "Thank you."

T'Pol reached out her fingers to him. Trip extended his own and flashed a smile that left no doubt how happy she made him.

"I thought you could use another hour of sleep." She had been right. He woke up just before she was preparing to go wake him.

"Charles, if T'Pol had informed me that you are family on your arrival you would not have been required to make the morning meal and you will not have to do so in the future." T'Les may not approve, but she was practical. He made her daughter happy and he was family, a fact she would have to learn to live with.

"Thank you ma'am. I'm sorry about earlier. I can get a little cranky when I don't get enough sleep." He had been rude. The heat and the lack of sleep and the rest of the afternoon had all caught up to him at once.

---

T'Les pulled Trip aside as he loaded their belongings into the shuttle. "Charles promise me you will keep T'Pol safe and happy."

"I promise. I want you to promise me that if you need help you'll contact us. You Vulcans aren't the only ones who know what it means to be family." Trip was worried about what the High Command might do to T'Les in retaliation for T'Pol's actions.

T'Les studied this young man's face. Her light touch on his arm strengthened her own bond with her daughter. "I will Charles." Maybe she should get to know him better before she made any judgments about him as a son-in-law.

"You know if you got to know us a little we humans might surprise you."

"You already have." T'Les said under her breath as she walked away.

Trip settled into the shuttlepod for the ride back to Jupiter Station. "Are you ready for this T'Pol? They aren't going to leave us alone until we tell them something."

"We will tell them we are dating. That is all they need to know and all we can tell them if we wish to remain on Enterprise together." Starfleet would not allow them to serve on the same ship if they were an official couple. If things remained unofficial and Jon had no problems with it, they should be able to remain on Enterprise.

"I know. I have to tell my parents though. I'm not sure how to explain an engagement that's not official, but means we're together for life. Just saying it's the Vulcan way might work for a while, but knowing my mom she'll want details." Details. They were friends, engaged, courting, dating, and he at least was in love. Whatever else they were was still very much an open-ended question.

"We will explain that we cannot do anything official until we are ready to leave Starfleet. They will understand that won't they?"

"You're right. They know how much I want to explore space and be on Enterprise. I'll just tell them we can't talk about it or do anything to alert Starfleet to our situation." His mom would never do anything to interfere in his career or cause him any pain if she could avoid it. Convincing Jon of the same thing might be a bit more difficult. Trip didn't know which side of the line between friendship and being their Captain Jonathon Archer would come down on and he wasn't prepared to test their friendship until he absolutely had to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Failure to Produce a Good, Clear Image**

This was the first Trip and T'Pol had seen of Captain Archer. The pair had returned to Jupiter Station and finding no one else around immediately dove into tweaking the repairs the stations crews had just completed in Engineering. Every new injector was in the process of receiving modifications to meet Trip's specs and every system examined for any irregularities from what the Chief Engineer determined was normal for his ship.

"A Klingon ship was attacked and the entire crew was killed and ejected into space two days ago. DNA tests confirm that a group of Augments were responsible." Archer focused on informing his crew of their new mission, trying to push out all thoughts of his missed lunch with Erika. The meetings with Starfleet had ended the day before and the first thing he did was call to arrange a date with Columbia's captain. He hadn't had time to let her know he couldn't make it, so the first order of business once this briefing was over would be to send her a message asking for a rain check, next time they were in the same place.

Trip ran his hand through his hair letting out an exasperated breath. "I thought all the Augments were killed in the wars."

"These Augments are from embryos stolen from Cold Station 12 by Dr. Soong. Once he was in custody, the assumption was that the embryos hadn't survived but he never said what happened to them. Evidently they survived and he claims he has no idea what 'his children' as he refers to them are up to."

"So now we have a bunch of twenty something Augments running around in a Klingon Bird of Prey. Great." Trip's hands grasped the table's edge.

"I'm sure the Klingons don't see it as great. They'll hold Earth and Starfleet responsible." Lt. Reed surmised.

"Exactly. Our orders are to find them." Archer told his staff.

"Do we have any idea where to look for them?" Trip wanted to know. Couldn't just go out there and start searching randomly.

"They were last seen headed for the area between the Klingon Empire and the Orion Syndicate. It's known as the Borderland." Archer knew very little of this area.

"The Borderland is a volatile region of space. And attracts the most dangerous elements of both the Klingons and the Orions." T'Pol interjected.

Archer knew what they were all thinking. "The Klingons are threatening to retaliate and Enterprise is the fastest ship with the most experienced crew so we have to go bring them back. Lt. Reed I need you to coordinate with Starfleet security to transport Dr. Soong to Enterprise."

"We're bringing him along?" Reed didn't see any reason to risk it.

"Dr. Soong thinks he can help us find them. He's spent time in that region and he thinks he can convince them to give themselves up." Archer wasn't thrilled about bringing Soong along, but if he could prevent any more bloodshed, it was worth it.

"If you say so, sir." Reed had no choice, but to follow orders.

"We launch in six hours. Trip how are your repairs coming?"

"If I get my entire crew working we can be done in six hours. I'll need T'Pol's help." Trip needed more time, but he'd make do with the six hours he had.

"Do what you have to. Dismissed." Archer watched as his crew rushed off to get ready for their early departure from Jupiter Station.

----

"Trip you must stop before you cause more damage to your shoulder." T'Pol had seen his pained expression earlier when he adjusted the injectors in the tubes just outside engineering, but now she could actually feel the pain, which meant it was intense.

"We have less than two hours to get this done T'Pol I can't stop." Trip tried to keep the agony from showing, but he failed miserably.

T'Pol understood his dilemma, but if he continued, he would only further his injury and risk downtime to heal. "Can you give me 10 minutes? Come to your office and I will attempt to alleviate the pain so you can finish. Then you must see Dr. Phlox so he can assess the damage."

"10 minutes. Okay, I can spare 10 minutes, but that's all." T'Pol was right he couldn't continue. A human body was never designed to repeat the same movement dozens of times a day for days on end.

T'Pol assisted him with getting his arm out of his jumpsuit and pushed his shirt up before instructing him to lie down on his desk. She straddled the top of his legs and began applying pressure just under his shoulder blade where the nodes were most inflamed.

"This isn't supposed to hurt is it?" Trip squeaked out while gritting his teeth.

"Stop talking and breathe. It should not hurt, but you do not usually intentionally abuse your body this badly." T'Pol continued to apply pressure when she heard the door open behind her.

"Am I interrupting something?" Captain Archer asked watching the strange activity between his senior officers.

"Sorry Captain..."

"Stop talking and breathe Commander." T'Pol insisted. She considered stopping but Trip's health came first. "He will be right with you Captain." She told him as she returned her concentration to applying pressure to Trip's shoulder.

Trip let out a long sigh, then another and visibly relaxed. "That got it Commander T'Pol. Thank you." T'Pol moved off his legs allowing him to stand and pull his jumpsuit back on. "Sorry Captain I have lots to do if we're leaving on time." He reached for T'Pol's hand squeezing it. "Thanks. Let me know when you've finished that sequence on the array." He walked past Jon on his way to complete the adjustments to the rest of the injectors. He stopped at the door. "Oh and Commander once we leave space dock I'll meet you in sickbay so doc can take a look at my shoulder."

Archer looked to T'Pol. "Is there something wrong with his shoulder?"

"He has been doing adjustments to the injectors for over a week now and his shoulder is not used to the repetitive motion. I asked him to allow the doctor to check for any damage this may be causing."

"You just asked him to go see the doctor and he agreed to?" Surprised at the ease with which Trip agreed to see Phlox.

"Is there a reason he should not?" T'Pol had encountered Trip's stubborn streak in the past, but recently he had been more accepting of her suggestions to take better care of himself.

"He only goes to see Phlox when it's really serious or Phlox orders him to." Usually he saw Phlox when someone else reported he was walking around like a zombie from lack of sleep or when he hurt so badly he couldn't function anymore.

T'Pol sidestepped the issue. "He was in pain, but he should be able to complete the repairs you require before the doctors services are required."

Stonewalled again. "T'Pol are you two ever going to tell me what's going on?"

"We are dating Captain. I do not know what else you wish me to say." That's what they both agreed to say and hoped it would be enough to get the Captain to back off.

Archer suspected it was more than that, but he had no recourse but to accept what T'Pol said. His authority as captain did not extend to their private lives unless or until it interfered with their jobs. "Fine T'Pol. And what's with him calling you Commander and ma'am all of a sudden?" Everyone had noticed because Trip had called her nothing but T'Pol from the first day he met her.

"You will have to ask the Commander. While I've noticed the change in the way he addresses me I have not found it necessary to inquire as to his motives." This was true. She suspected it had something to do with her calling him Trip off-duty, but she hadn't asked him.

These two were like a well-coordinated tag team. Ask one a question and get no information. Ask the other and get no more than you already knew. Archer smiled to himself. Their combined talents at evasion were frustrating but very impressive. He wished he had time to press this further, but he didn't.

---

"Engineering to the Bridge. What's going on up there?" Tucker jumped to avoid the electrical discharge from the conduit that just exploded.

"Two Orion interceptors just said hello." Archer informed him.

"You better do something fast we're getting pretty beat up down here." Trip suggested as he watched tow of his engineers dematerialize before his eyes. "Captain two of my people just disappeared."

Archer watched as the last of his first officer dematerialized. "T'Pol's gone too Trip."

---

"You need to relax Trip we'll get them back." Archer tried to get his chief engineer under control.

Trip paced back and forth yelling as he went. "The woman I love is probably being sold as a slave right now and you want me to trust her life to Dr. Frankenstein."

Reed and Archer both heard it but doubted Trip realized what he'd said. "We'll get her back Trip." Archer reassured him.

'Damn' I tell them how I feel, but I can't tell T'Pol. Trip hit the wall on the way out. "Where are you going, Trip?" Archer asked him.

"I'm going to see Phlox then I'm going to go make sure we have all the speed I can get out of the warp drive." They were going to need it and he needed something to occupy his mind.

Doctor Phlox found Trip pacing in sickbay. "Is there something wrong Commander Tucker?"

"Can you help take the edge off whatever this is?" Trip asked as he continued to pace back and forth.

Phlox attempted to scan him, but he couldn't keep up with the pacing. He patted the biobed. "You need to sit right here and let me examine you." Trip stopped.

Phlox saw that he making no move to sit so he scanned him where he stood. "Your heart rate is up, your suffering from shortness of breath, you're extremely tense. It appears to be an anxiety attack of some sort. Are you anxious about something?"

"The Orions took T'Pol and they're probably trying to sell her right now." Trip started pacing again.

"I can give you something but it would contain a mild sedative. Are you able to remain here to rest for the next several hours?" Phlox knew that was unlikely with crewmembers missing and the ship in danger.

"No. When they find the crew they'll need me in engineering to get us the hell out of here." There's was no way I'm going to sleep while T'Pol's missing he said to himself.

"Then there is nothing I can do to help you. Perhaps some of the breathing exercises you have learned from Commander T'Pol could be of assistance. They should help you relax."

"Thanks Doc I'll figure something out." He left Phlox standing there and headed for T'Pol's quarters.

When he arrived, he lit her candles and placed them as she did. He grabbed the pillow off her bed and sat as if he were going to meditate. He inhaled her scent from the pillow and focused his mind on her. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, and breathe out. He could almost feel her. She was scared, but she was okay. If she weren't he'd know it. He concentrated on that feeling and continued to force air into his lungs and then force it back out.

Trip stepped into the corridor. "Trip are you alright?" Captain Archer asked concerned with the behavior of the engineer.

"No, but I'll be in Engineering if you need me." Trip continued toward the turbolift.

Archer spoke with urgency in his tone. "I need you operating the transporter. Soong can get us into the slave market and when we find our people I need you to transport us all back here." He wanted his best man on the job and he needed to give Trip something to focus on.

"Keep Soong away from me or I swear I'll choke the life out of him." Trip warned his captain.

Dr. Phlox entered the transporter room injecting something into Soong's neck. "The transponder is good up to 10 kilometers."

"Trip if he gets more than a few feet away from me transport him back here." Archer ordered. Turning to Soong. "I wouldn't let that happen. You're not one of his favorite people at the moment." Noting the darkness in Trip's eyes.

"He's just upset that something happened to his Vulcan girlfriend and he's blaming me." Soong popped off sarcastically to Archer.

"That's enough." Archer shouted knowing Trip was very close to the edge. He grabbed Soong's collar and pulled him onto the transporter pad.

---

Archer, Soong, Trip, and Reed were all in sickbay waiting for Phlox to remove a collar from a crewmember's neck. "We managed to bribe a guard to turn the collar off, but leave it on him." Phlox finally got it off and handed it to Archer.

"Trip figure this out fast T'Pol has already been sold and could be shipped out very soon." Archer knew this would be enough to focus him on the task at hand.

Trip ran out the door headed to Engineering. "Lt. Reed see if you can give him a hand." Archer wanted someone there to offer Trip moral support.

"Yes, sir." Reed followed the Commander down the corridor.

"Your Commander is a little unstable Captain, don't you think." Soong quipped.

"I'd keep my mouth shut around him if I were you. I won't guarantee anyone would stop him if he decided to pound the stuffing out of you. In fact they'd most likely join in." Archer glared at him making it obvious he was among those who'd like to assist Trip. He was tired of Soong's wisecracking and cocky attitude.

---

"Trip we need that code now."

"Transmitting it now, Captain."

"When I give you the signal transport everybody out."

"I'm ready, sir."

Archer waited. He heard the commotion and saw slaves running away everywhere. "The restraints are off. Transport now Trip."

"That's everyone Captain. You and Soong are the only one's left." Trip waited for a response.

"Tucker to Captain Archer."

"Soong's gone Trip locate his transponder signal." Archer tried to stand. The doctor hit him with one of the Orion's stun sticks before he ran off.

"Wait till I get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch." Trip yelled at the air. "Captain his signals gone. Can you see him?" Trip wanted to go check on T'Pol but no he was stuck here trying to find Soong. Maybe the Orions found him and figured out what he did.

Suddenly he heard the Captain. "I've got him Trip. Two for transport, now."

Archer appeared on the pad pushing Soong in Reed's direction. "Lt. Reed get him to the brig. Post guards at the door. Tell them not to let him out of their sight."

Trip snarled, "You're lucky she's alive,' into Soong's ear as the lieutenant took him out.

Archer looked up at Trip. "Commander Tucker I believe I could use some assistance getting to sickbay." He knew that's where Trip wanted to be.

Trip held the Captain up as they passed through the doors. The effect of the stun stick had almost worn off, but Archer still felt dizzy. Dr. Phlox barely reached his side to help him remain standing as Trip, who had just found T'Pol, let go and walked directly to her. "Are you okay?" He looked over her neck carefully.

"There's a little ringing in my ear. The doctor says it should go away soon. I am cleared for duty in the morning." T'Pol simply wanted to ease his worry.

"I'm glad he got that thing off your neck with no problem. Are you sure you're okay?" Trip kept stepping forward a step, stopping himself, and stepping back. He wanted to wrap his arms around her to reassure himself she was okay. Instead, he took her hand in his.

"Commander, if it's alright with the Captain and if you have the time to walk Commander T'Pol to her quarters she can be released." Doctor Phlox could see the pair needed some privacy.

"Take the rest of the day off Trip. Make sure she gets a good night's sleep tonight. We'll need everybody at their best to find that ship." The captain knew there wasn't much they could do until they had some idea what direction the Augments took and that meant he had to talk to Soong.

---

Trip held her hand so tightly walking to her quarters. If he held on tighter, she'd be okay. They couldn't get there fast enough for him; he was almost pulling her to make her move faster.

"Trip what is wrong? I am fine." T'Pol could feel the tremors running through him.

"I've never been so scared in my life. I knew you were alive, but I couldn't do anything. I was so afraid they'd ship you off someplace and I'd never find you." Trip couldn't believe he could feel so completely lost.

They reached her door; she input the code pulling him to her as soon as the door closed behind them. "You cannot lose me. You will always feel me with you. The bond between us will always guide you to where I am if you simply listen. You felt this when you were thinking only of me. Yes?" She had felt him concentrating on her.

"I had some sort of an attack and Phlox couldn't give me anything that wouldn't make me sleepy, so I came here. I lit the candles, focused on you in my head, and knew you were alive, but scared. Is that what you mean?" That feeling was what kept him functioning.

"Yes. We are connected and you will always be able to locate me if you need to." She wanted the bond to be something to reassure him not be a cause of his discomfort.

"So this bond is like our own personal homing beacon?"

"A rather crude analogy, but effective." T'Pol lit the candles and lowered the lighting. "It will become stronger and you will learn to use it more effectively and it will help to ease your fears if you will allow it."

"I'll figure it out." If it meant he never felt like he did today again, he'd spend all his free time learning how to use this bond.

"You assumed it was part of your own mind and treated it as such so you have already learned much about it on your own. You can block it out or totally focus on it. If you allow yourself to become anxious and fearful when I am not near you then the bond will enhance your fear and anxiety. When you used it to assure yourself that I was alive and well you were able to focus on me and your duties." He could push the bond, which he thought was him thinking about T'Pol, to the back of his thoughts when he was working without much effort.

"I'll try to remember that, but try not to get kidnapped again."

"I have no problem with that, but you must get the Orions and the rest of the galaxy to agree."

He sat down on her bed, smiling. "There's something I need to tell you. I was so upset that Jon was trusting Soong to find you and without thinking I told them I love you. I wish I'd told you before I announced it to..." Who was there? Malcolm, Jon and there was at least one other person in the room but Trip didn't know who it was. "...actually I don't even know who heard me."

He couldn't believe she didn't know of his feelings. "You've told me several times. It may not have been with those words, but you have pledged yourself to me at least three times on whatever terms I desire and you agreed to bond with me. Being Vulcan may have hindered my understanding of these emotions, but I have no doubt of your feelings for me. And I have never told you of my feelings for you, but I trust you know I feel the same about you." T'Pol kissed him. "Remove your shirt and lay down."

He pulled his shirt over his head. "I still should have told you before it became part of the rumor mill." He had no doubt it was all over the ship by now. He held her hands in his. T'Pol stood there waiting for him to lie down. "You want me to shut up and lay down right?" Yeah, she definitely wasn't ever going to be overly sentimental.

"I want you to cease being afraid that anything is going to happen to me. If talking will help you accomplish this then talk." Talking wasn't what he needed. He needed time. Time to let his fear go.

"Talking won't help. Neuropressure won't either. All I need is to hold you for a little while. Just until I feel you in here." Trip laid his hand across his chest. "I can't explain it, but there's this feeling I get and it makes everything right."

"Then we can stay here as long as you need." T'Pol closed her eyes as his arms tightened around her, allowing herself to feel him letting go of his fear for her, in search of that feeling that set his world right again.

---

"Captain, why trust him again?"

Malcolm added his objection. "Trip's right. So far he's gotten 9 people kidnapped, 2 people killed, helped the Augments steal the embryos, attempted to escape, and almost got you and himself killed twice."

Soong came to his own defense. "I am the only one who can stop them."

"What good is all that intelligence if he waste it trying to create super humans so they can be puppet masters over the rest of us?" Trip turned on Soong. "When will you get it? It doesn't work the way you want it to. Eventually something snaps and they think because they are so much better than the rest of us they should be in charge."

"They can learn. If Starfleet hadn't imprisoned me I would have been there to teach them." Soong had been teaching them until Starfleet interfered.

"You'll never understand. You had parents who taught you right from wrong and you're just like them. You think you have all the answers, but you're just as unemotionally instable as they are. Once you reach a certain point there isn't any way to balance intellect and emotion. There's no room for emotions if you're thinking so much all the time. After a while, only the strong emotions get through and those usually end up being the negative ones because you can't be that intelligent and be happy. You understand too much of what's wrong out there and have all these ideas about how to fix it so you can find happiness. But you can't ever be happy because you can never really fix it, can you? What are they going to do? Raise their 1800 brothers and sisters on some planet somewhere and then what? All those enhanced abilities stuck out there doing what? What do you think they are going to do when they get bored and decide to leave home? Trip glared at Soong. The 12 they were after had been raised on an isolated planet and had some early training from him and look what happened.

Soong considered his questions for a moment. "Then maybe I should try artificial life forms. If I take all the emotions out that solves that problem."

Trip didn't want to go down that road. He had this argument regarding androids with himself several times and ended up at the same dead end every time. Besides he was sure there was no point trying to explain it to Soong. He'd just didn't get it. "You should really think about that. Trust me you'd only create a whole new set of problems for them and humans."

"And you're the expert because you're sleeping with an emotionless Vulcan." Soong didn't like them challenging his beliefs, so he lashed out.

Trip moved towards Soong, but stopped when his eyes met T'Pol's. "You know I really don't like you and I don't care that some of your work could actually benefit humanity. You're a waste of ....you're pathetic." He gestured with his hand as if to dismiss him and turned to T'Pol. "I'll talk to you later and Captain I'll be in engineering. Just let me know what you decide to do."

Soong couldn't provoke Trip any longer so he went after T'Pol. "Wow, you really keep him on a short leash don't you Commander T'Pol."

T'Pol moved closer to the doctor. "I am surprised that such an intelligent man is so misinformed. You may wish to ask the Captain and Lt. Reed about their experiences with Vulcans and emotions." She stepped away. "Captain if you have no objection I will attend to my duties before I forget my Vulcan training and demonstrate just how wrong he is."

"Dismissed, Commander." Archer almost laughed. He understood and had no problem allowing her to leave. Although he did find it curious that she'd almost lost her temper. He didn't see it on her face, but her body language spoke volumes.

"Doctor you have no idea what Commander T'Pol's capable of. She has emotions and just now you should be very glad that she suppresses them." Lt. Reed suggested remembering the lack of restraint the Vulcans on the Seleya showed and what T'Pol was like after she left there.

"I always suspected they were lying, but by the time Earth and Vulcan became friendlier I had already left Earth and never really spent any time with one of them until now."

"Until you learn to keep your mouth shut might I suggest you not try spending much time with them in the future? They really don't have much of a sense of humor." Reed offered as he exited the room to go to the bridge.

---

"It's Soong's head. I should have tried this when he was here maybe I wouldn't have wanted to haul off and hit him so often. He punched my buttons and I couldn't seem to stop him." Trip continued throwing the ball against his office wall.

"You did stop him. You did not lose your temper and when you walked away from him it made him angry." T'Pol knew that's why Soong turned on her.

"He was wrong you know about making the Augments less aggressive. It wouldn't have worked. They'd start out okay, but emotions are learned and eventually they'd learn how to be more aggressive. His idea about artificial life forms without emotions is almost as bad. You need emotions to make life have meaning. Aggression and anger serve a purpose. It's a problem when they become the stronger of your emotions." The Dr. Soong's out there never listened. Jon said Soong had decided with the Augments dead, along with the embryos, he'd pursue research on artificial life forms. The doctor figured it would take a couple of generations to be completed for which Trip was grateful. He'd seen enough to suit him and was thankful he wouldn't be around to see the results.

T'Pol stood watching the ball hit the wall and let him talk.

"I understand now why you suppress your emotions. Malcolm told me about the Seleya. How they lost all their control and their emotions took over. Said that's how your people used to be until you evolved and your intellect became just as strong. With neither side dominating you were still not able to stop destroying yourselves, were you? Evolution couldn't remove your emotions because they were a dominant trait so Surak came up with using logic and suppressing emotions." During his tirade in the ready room a couple of days ago this all started to become clearer to him.

"That is a basic view of how my people have evolved, but there is much more to it."

"I know. I'm not trying to do an in depth study of Vulcan evolution. I'm just trying to understand how your people got to where they are because what you've done isn't working either. Your people have all this intellect and try to rid themselves of all their emotions. So what's their purpose in life? What are they doing? Without emotions, they have no passion for life. They live for 200 years, learn, and study for what? To be smarter than the rest of the universe? To explore space by sending probes to planets and assign numbers to those planets attaching no meaning or emotion to them. Why? They gather information and facts and put it in a database. They don't help other races. They share very little of what they know. It's all classified. I guess I don't understand why they bother. What's the point?"

"I cannot answer for all my people I can only answer for me. I left Vulcan because I couldn't be what they required me to be. I am a scientist and I remained on Enterprise because I wish to explore and use my gifts for the betterment of my people and now yours. Not just gather information or learn new things only to have them designated as classified and kept secret. I chose to leave because my people for whatever reason could not or would not allow this."

"So your people went from all intellect and emotion to all intellect and no emotion. There has to be more of a balance somewhere. Or maybe you need to stop looking at all Vulcans as being alike. Instead, admit that some Vulcans need to suppress all their emotions and some don't. Some of the V'tosh Ka'tur seemed to have found a balance for themselves. Tolaris was one, who needed to suppress his emotions to prevent his becoming mentally unbalanced trying to experience them, but Kov seemed okay and he expressed emotions."

"We used to accept differences amongst ourselves, but while the High Command proclaims to follow the tenets of Infinite Diversity and Infinite Combinations they do not. Also Surak's teachings have been reinterpreted." T'Pol had been afraid to examine her beliefs and what she and all Vulcans had been taught, but no more. The Kir'Shara she was now studying appeared to be the true teachings of Surak not a corrupted version as she had once believed.

"Are the teachings of Surak you were taught and the Kir'Shara that different?" Trip knew she wanted to give her people access to the Kir'Shara. They'd discussed it but she was right that asking her people to accept a document they could not verify as real was not possible. She could not explain where it came from and even if she could few would believe it came from an alternate timeline. It would only serve to alienate them more.

"At first glance it might appear that they aren't, but with closer study they are. The wording contains subtle differences, which individually seem unimportant, but as a whole, they become significant. Although I have not read the Kir'Shara completely yet I believe much of Surak's original teachings differ from those we currently follow. Most noticeably, his thoughts on bonding and mind melds are currently not mentioned at all. He also speaks of emotions as a part of us. Not as balanced as you suggest, but not totally suppressed."

"Archer to Commander Tucker."

Trip hit the comm button. "What's up Captain?"

"I need to see you in my ready room."

"On my way, sir." Trip rubbed his eyes. "I've been expecting this." Things had settled down and there was nothing pressing so Jon was ready to talk to him about recent events. Trip knew his evasions were not going to placate him this time. He left T'Pol standing in his office.

--

"Hey Captain what'd you need?" As if, he didn't know.

"We need to have a chat about what happened the other day."

"Yeah, I'm sorry I let things get to me. It won't happen again, sir." Trip stood very still. Waiting for Jon to say something.

"What exactly did happen? You walked away from a meeting to go to sickbay and disappeared to T'Pol's quarters and then we all had to be careful not to say the wrong thing so we didn't set you off. I can't run a starship if every time my chief engineer's girlfriend is in danger he falls apart."

"I know and all I can do is promise it won't happen again. T'Pol's helping me learn to deal with things better." Trip knew he wasn't telling the Captain what he wanted to hear.

"So what is this thing with you and T'Pol?"

"You already know. We're dating. I know you heard me say I loved her, so what else do you want me to say?"

"So it's serious?"

"Yes, but I can't talk about this with you. Jon my friend is also Captain Archer and he can't separate the two when it comes to Enterprise. I understand that and I hope you can too."

"You don't think I can separate being your friend from being your captain?"

"Most of the time I think you can, but this isn't one of those times. T'Pol and I will work this out and our relationship will not interfere with our jobs, so Captain Archer shouldn't be concerned. Jon my friend should know I'm very happy and would appreciate my friends support." Trip didn't want to put Jon in the position of having to decide between their friendship and his duty to Starfleet. That would be taking advantage of their friendship and he swore he'd never do that when he accepted this commission.

"So you're telling me I won't have to worry that my engineer is going to fall apart if T'Pol runs into any trouble?"

"I can't guarantee how pleasant I'll be, but I can guarantee I'll do what I need to do as an officer on this ship. How's that?" He might be a miserable human being to be around, if T'Pol were in danger, but the crew was just going to have to deal with it.

"I'm trusting you to keep this under control. The rumor mill is very active since our last round of shore leave. What was speculation about you and T'Pol is now true, and now I'm hearing rumors about Malcolm and Hoshi. Something about them spending part of their leave together?" As Captain, he hated that his crew was dating each. It could get excessively messy, especially if the parties had to work closely together and he now had two couples in his bridge crew.

"I haven't talked to Mal, so I don't know anymore than you do. Is that a problem?" Malcolm was technically her superior officer, but he was the tactical officer and she was in communications. He'd been in charge in the past, but not often and not for extended periods. There shouldn't be any conflict there. Trip hadn't talked to him lately. They'd both been extremely busy until today and they both seemed to be lacking in free time.

"Not really unless they have a fight or break up. I really don't want to be stuck on the bridge or in a meeting with my staff shooting angry looks or making angry comments to each other." Trip and T'Pol weren't much of a surprise to Jon, but Malcolm and Hoshi he didn't see coming. Malcolm was always such a stickler for the rules and Archer didn't think him capable of bending any of them, much less breaking one.

"Don't know what to say to that. Can't say disagreements won't occur from time to time, but I really can't see T'Pol taking it on duty or letting me. She's the first officer and she'll have no problem reminding me of that fact if I let us become an issue with my job performance." He and T'Pol didn't have knock down drag out fights. In the past, they ignored each other or had short, quick outburst of anger or frustration and then talked things out. They couldn't really ignore each other anymore and T'Pol had become more adamant about privacy than she ever was, so public arguments were not something she'd allow. Their connection was an intimate thing between them and no one else and all Vulcans understood and respected that. Trip had his doubts as to whether humans would once they became aware of their bond.

"We might actually be able to get back to exploring. Starfleet doesn't have anything for us and nobody has come looking for trouble." They were supposed to be back on their original mission since they returned from the expanse, but had had very little time to explore anything.

"Shhh. Don't say that too loud. If there's a storm brewing it always seems to find us and we really could use some quiet, let's just see what's out here for a change." Trip wasn't one who believed much in fate, but just in case he figured, there was no use tempting it.

**A/N:** I have borrowed plot and dialogue from season four starting in the last chapter and wish to thank those who wrote the originals. It's definitely AU even though some of this may be just like it appeared, but probably not. As it will be reworked into something that makes sense to this story (and I guess my muse) or reexamined and juxtaposed wherever it needs to be to fit. It's not all a rework of season 4. Some totally origianal stuff in here too. Not sure how the story got where it is from where it started, but whole chapters seem to be coming at once. I'm currently writing chapter 12 and tweaking the details of the completed ones, as I go, which is why I'm not posting them as I finish them. And for those of you reading my other stories I haven't forgotten or abandoned them. Just taking a break to write what's playing in my head to get the already written final chapter here. Wish I could figure out how my mind works when writing these stories.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Binocular Diplopia **

**One eye observes events while someone directs the other elsewhere**

"Commander, we can observe the event from here." T'Pol didn't understand why he insisted she program the computer to record, while they went to the private area he'd set up to watch hundreds of particles pass through the planets atmosphere.

"I know we can, but you're recording the impact on the planet and not just their path through space. Just think of it as part of your understanding of romance education. Stop being the scientist for a little while and just be with me." Trip had been trying to find some romantic anything lurking inside her, but had not found it yet. However, she did tolerate his attempts and seemed to be learning to relax and let herself feel his enjoyment of spending time with her or holding her in his arms or just talking about nothing of consequence.

"Commander T'Pol, how much longer before you have all the data you need from this planet?" Archer asked upon entering the room.

"The meteor shower will begin in one hour. The computer will record the event. Once it is completed we will have all the data we need to complete our analysis of the phenomenon." T'Pol explained to him as she continued inputting data into the screen before her.

Trip was laying back in a chair, his feet up, quite relaxed. Archer thought he appeared extremely casual. "I take it you're off duty, Trip?"

"Yes, sir. Commander T'Pol has been patiently explaining the science behind the upcoming event to me while she gets her equipment ready to record it for her." Trip looked up at the display of the scans of the planet and atmosphere on the vid screen.

"So are you going to watch the meteor shower here with her? I was sure you'd be in the observation deck." Archer knew what a romantic he could be at times.

"Commander Tucker has invited me to watch the event with him elsewhere and I have agreed." T'Pol answered for Trip.

Archer didn't see T'Pol getting all caught up in the romance of falling stars. The Captain wasn't really into it either, but he guessed that he might be convinced to enjoy it if he had someone to enjoy it with. "Okay then. I guess I leave you to your work. Travis will be changing course as soon as your scans are complete."

"That should be in one hour and thirty minutes." All the meteors would have hit the surface or burned up in the atmosphere by then.

"Bridge to Captain Archer."

Archer walked to the comm unit near the door. "Archer here."

"Captain we have a Captain Sesnick from the Vulcan ship Kassack requesting permission to dock with us within the hour, sir."

"Did he say why?"

"No sir. He requested that Commander T'Pol and Commander Tucker met him at the docking bay, though."

"Tell him permission granted and we'll be there." Archer looked for signs that either of his senior officers knew what was going on. "Do you have any idea who Captain Sesnick is and why he wants to see both of you?"

"No, sir." Both Commanders responded.

Trip stood and walked across the room to T'Pol. "Do you have any idea who he is?"

"I do not recognize the name and why would a Vulcan captain ask to see you?" A Vulcan starship captain would know of Enterprise and her senior staff, but would have no reason to seek them out in such a personal manner.

"I certainly don't know him." Trip's gut was starting to churn uncomfortably. The only connection to Vulcan he had was T'Pol and T'Les.

----

Trip and T'Pol raised their hands in a Vulcan salute in response to Captain Sesnick's greeting. "Peace and long life, Captain." T'Pol spoke for both Commanders.

"I was asked to deliver this pendant to you Commander T'Pol along with a message for you Commander Tucker." Sesnick told them.

"And the message is?" Trip asked with some trepidation.

"The message is 'I am honoring my promise to you Charles'." The Captain had no expression on his face, but his eyes showed his confusion at the cryptic nature of the words he'd just spoken.

"That's it? You came all the way out here to deliver a necklace and 8 words?" Trip needed to get T'Pol out of here. He knew who had to have sent him the message and wanted to know what the IDIC she had in her hand meant to her.

"I was asked to do this by someone I have known for years and found no reason not to honor the request." Sesnick had no idea what this was all about, but T'Les had made a request of him and he did what she asked.

"I'm sure my mother appreciates your efforts on her behalf. Is there anything else?" T'Pol was anxious to leave. No one called Trip 'Charles' but her mother.

"No. We will return to our mission if you have no further need of our services." He knew she would not ask more of him.

"It has been good to met you, Captain." T'Pol again raised her hand to form the ta'al. As the captain stepped back through the sealed door, he had just entered through.

"What promise does my mother speak of Trip?" T'Pol asked with urgency that Trip could feel as well as see in her eyes.

"When we left, she pulled me aside and asked me to keep you safe and happy, which I promised I would do and then I asked her to promise me to contact us if she needed help. She promised she would." Trip felt a huge jolt of fear running through him. T'Pol was afraid for her mother.

Archer saw the concern cross Trip's expression. His body language screamed that his anxiety level had just risen drastically. "So who's going to tell me what that was all about? Since when do Vulcan's send secret messages to human Starfleet officers?"

Trip tried to get a read on what T'Pol wanted to do here, but he couldn't. "T'Pol, I think you need to explain."

"We must go to Vulcan. My mother requires our assistance." T'Pol turned her gaze to look directly into Captain Archer's eyes.

"I need something more than that if I'm going to take us to Vulcan. Admiral Forrest is going to want some kind of explanation." Archer had no doubt telling him his first officer's mom needed her wasn't going to do it.

"We cannot tell you anymore until we get there. My mother sent for us, but I do not know why."

"What's with the us?" Why had T'Pol's mother included Trip in all this?

Trip answered as best he could. "T'Les knows T'Pol and I are close and probably felt I could offer T'Pol some moral support and help do whatever she needs to do." The fact that she now considered him family entered into it he knew, but he could hardly tell his Captain that. Only mentioning the promise told them she needed help without raising as many questions from anyone who might be aware of the message.

"Perhaps I should request Captain Sesnick remain, in case Starfleet refuses to allow Enterprise to go to Vulcan." T'Pol commented. If Captain Archer wouldn't or couldn't take her home then she'd have to get there any way she could.

"If they won't let the ship go it's unlikely they would let you go either." Archer informed her.

Trip was impatiently waiting for the captain to decide something. "If Starfleet says no T'Pol and I will have to find another way to get there Captain."

"You'd both disobey orders." T'Pol going home to assist her mother was to be expected, but Trip risking his career for her wasn't.

"T'Les needs our help and if T'Pol's going so am I." Trip wanted, no needed, Jon to know how serious this was.

"I'll go see what I can do." He stopped before leaving the room. "T'Pol see what you can find out without raising any suspicions."

Trip reached out rubbing the necklace between his fingers. "T'Pol is that your Mom's?"

"Yes, I believe it must be, but why would she send this to me? Her message to you would be enough to alert us to come." She laid the pendant in her palm and dragged her fingertips across it attempting to discern what her mother had intended her to learn by sending it to her.

As her thumb began to move around in a circular motion it came up against the stone at the center, and an image appeared above her hand. Trip and T'Pol studied it. "It is a map that appears to lead to a destination in the Forge."

"Let's see what we can find out about your mom while the Captain is working on Admiral Forrest." Trip suggested taking T'Pol's hand leading her out of the bay into the corridor.

---

"Senior staff report to the Captain's Ready Room," came over the comm throughout the ship.

"The Captain must have news about our request to change course for Vulcan." T'Pol had contacted Captain Sesnick about transporting the pair if Enterprise could not, but Trip held out hope that Starfleet would see the advantages of allowing them to assist T'Les in any way they could.

"There's been an attack on our Embassy on Vulcan. Admiral Forrest and Ambassador Soval were present and Forrest didn't make it. They have no idea who is responsible and we have been ordered to get to Vulcan and investigate for Starfleet." Captain Archer lowered his gaze to the screen in front of him trying to keep his emotions in check. Forrest had been responsible for his being on Enterprise and had covered his backside on several occasions with the Admiralty. Dealing with his feelings would have to wait. Enterprise had a mission and two of his officers appeared to have a personal concern to deal with, as well.

"Has there been any indication of unrest anyplace else on Vulcan?" T'Pol was now more anxious about her mother's welfare.

"There have been reports of some problems with a group known as the Syrrannites. They've holed up in someplace called The Forge." Archer had no details regarding this latest issue.

Trip narrowed his eyes thinking about the map T'Les had sent them. It showed a route through this Forge. The only conclusion he could arrive at was that T'Les had something to do with the Syrrannites somehow. He reached under the table grasping T'Pol's hand. The connection helped him sense her emotions. She was both afraid and confused, which mirrored his emotions exactly. Was this why T'Les was in trouble with the Ministry of Security? Had she used T'Pol's difficulties as an excuse? Trip squeezed T'Pol's hand to let her know he understood.

"Lt. Reed you need to put together a team to go to the Embassy with us to start our investigation. Commander T'Pol and Tucker will be taking care of some personal business. And Ensign Sato I need you to contact Ambassador Soval for me." The Captain pushed all other matters from his mind and focused on the mission.

"How long before we are in orbit around Vulcan?" Lt. Reed questioned, needing to know how much time he had to prepare his team.

"Thirty six hours if we push it. You'll need to keep the engines running at their peak Trip." Archer informed his Chief Engineer.

"I'll get on it. Shouldn't be a problem. We just finished maintenance on the whole system." Trip and T'Pol had been over every inch of the warp drive since they left space dock. The crews at Jupiter Station had run diagnostics assuring him there were no further problems from the bad injectors, but as far as Trip was concerned their assurances meant little. They were the glorified mechanics that had installed them in the first place.

"Dismissed." Reed and Hoshi walked out together. "Trip, T'Pol what'd you find out?"

"I have been unable to contact my mother at home or at the Academy. No one has heard from her in several days. The IDIC she sent me contains a map. I believe this will lead us to her location. Commander Tucker and I will go to her house first, and then proceed to the Forge to find her."

"The map is of the Forge? That's where the High Command says the Syrrannites fled. Is your mother with them?" What were they being dragged into now? Starfleet would not condone involvement in any activity seen as that of dissidents.

"That is unclear, but it is a possibility." T'Pol hadn't ever known her mother to be involved in any group, especially nothing political. However, they had been estranged of late, so it was possible.

"Trip, go see about the engines and T'Pol see if you can find out anything useful. You can transport down as soon as we reach orbit." Archer didn't like splitting up his crew like this, but he had little choice.

---

"T'Pol if we have T'Pau's DNA does it mean she's been in trouble with the High Command in the past?" Archer believed Vulcan operated much the same as Earth in regards to personal data.

"All Vulcan DNA is collected at birth. I'm sure Dr. Phlox could tell you more about this than I can." T'Pol was a scientist, but not a geneticist.

"Fine, we'll send it along with the Corporal when he is transported to Enterprise. V'Las insist the Security Directorate will find and prosecute the Syrrannites. He refuses to allow us to continue to investigate. Says it's now a matter for the Vulcans not Starfleet." Archer wanted answers and the High Command was not being very forthcoming with any information.

"Captain you need to continue your own investigation. None of this makes sense. The Syrrannites are a passive people. They would have no cause to blow up the Embassy and draw all this attention to themselves. They seek to follow the teachings of Surak. In fact, they have been looking for something known as the Kir'Shara for years. It is said to contain Surak's katra and his original teachings before they were reinterpreted." Ambassador Soval almost sounded as if he were pleading.

Archer caught Trip trying to gain his attention. When he turned in his direction, Trip laid his finger on his lips. "Trip and T'Pol are headed into the Forge to look for T'Les. Maybe I should go along. We need to know who is responsible for bombing Earth's embassy." Captain Archer was beginning to get a bad feeling about the whole situation and especially about the High Command's refusal to allow them to remain on Vulcan.

"You'll have to walk in. Conditions are such that no technology operates there. It is one the harshest environments on Vulcan." Soval told the group. Shuttles could get closer to their destination, but would also alert the High Command to the location.

T'Pol handed Trip a container and pointed down the hallway. The Ambassador watched fascinated at their silent communication as the Commander shook his head, but then took the container and went into the room at the end of the hall.

"We will go as soon as Commander Tucker has returned." T'Pol picked up several packs. Leaving the two smallest for Trip to carry.

Trip came back handing the container T'Pol had given him to the Captain. "You might as well go put this on all your exposed skin. T'Pol won't let us leave until you do."

"If the Captain wishes to allow the sun to burn him he does not need to apply the salve to his skin." T'Pol let them both know.

"So it's only Trip here who has to use this stuff before we go?" Archer chuckled on his way down the hall.

Trip smiled as he squeezed T'Pol's hand. The Ambassador observed them for across the room. There was much more going on here than he had previously been aware, but now was not the time to inquire about personal matters.

"Okay, T'Pol I can carry some of those packs." Archer offered when he returned.

Trip saw T'Pol's eyebrows head for the ceiling. "Why don't you take one of mine? It'll help alleviate some of the guilt for letting her do all the work."

Archer quietly teased Trip. "She won't let you carry any more? I could just order her too."

"She didn't make it an order and I'd rather not go there if we can avoid it. This is her home turf, so maybe we ought to listen to her advice." Trip could be as macho as the next guy, but he knew T'Pol was genuinely concerned for his well-being and she would also watch out for the Captain. If she needed his help he'd know it, but there was no way to explain that to the Captain.

"Ambassador will you stay in touch with Enterprise. Lt. Reed may have questions or need assistance if the High Command gets anymore uncooperative." Archer was not happy about the three most senior officers being on this mission leaving his tactical officer in charge. He trusted Malcolm to keep the crew safe, but he didn't have extensive command experience and going up against the Vulcans could be infuriating at the best of times.

---

Walking behind the couple, and they were a couple Archer had confirmed this in his own mind, Jon marveled at how much better Trip was doing on this excursion through the desert than he had on the two previous ones they had been on. He was by no means at his best, but he hadn't succumbed to heat exhaustion in the two days they'd been trekking through this oven-like passage.

There was a cloth hanging from under the hat covering everything above his shoulders except his face, which was barely visible under the ridiculous looking goggle-like sunglasses T'Pol had given him to wear. His pace was beginning to slow, but he was moving on his own and carrying on a conversation with T'Pol.

"T'Pol what's wrong?" Archer asked when he saw her turn suddenly to her left.

"We need to find higher ground, now." Her hand grasped Trip's arm and pulled him towards the outcropping of rocks several kilometers ahead of them.

Archer followed trying to listen for whatever had alerted her to the danger. "What's out there?"

"A sehlat. They do not climb, so we need to get off the ground and quickly." T'Pol found a handhold in the rocks and began her climb, offering Trip her assistance. Once they were perched safely, they both reached for the Captain pulling him up to safety with them.

"What the hell is a sehlat?" Archer dropped breathless against the jagged edges of the rock face behind him.

As T'Pol opened her mouth to answer a creature, with what looked like saber-like teeth appeared, below their perch. "As you can see they are large and rather dangerous."

"Okay, I can see there's nothing normal about this Forge, is there?"

"Normal is relative Captain. Sehlat's live and survive in all parts of Vulcan, but prefer the areas where the climate is the warmest. We are in no danger here. It will grow weary and seek prey elsewhere soon." T'Pol was becoming concerned with Trip's health. He was doing much better than he had in the past, but she could sense he was hiding his discomfort from her.

She moved to his other side and sat next to him. "Trip, how are you?"

"I'm doing okay." He replied, exhibiting signs of fatigue.

"You are not fine and please refrain from lying to me." T'Pol admonished him.

"I'll be fine, just let me rest here for a bit and we can go find your mom." Trip laid his head back against the rocks.

She took his hand in hers in an attempt to sense his feelings better. His pulse rate was rapid and his palm was moist. "I cannot help you if you are not honest with me. If you are tired, we must seek shelter from the sun and allow you to rest. To continue would be dangerous for us all." She knew if they encountered any further problems and we're required to run again, Trip would not be able to keep up in his present condition.

"I just need to rest." He assured her, as he sedately sat there allowing her to remove his hat and pour water, from his water bottle, over his head soaking the cloth he was wearing, before offering it to him to drink from.

"Captain we must seek shelter in a cave. The Commander must get out of the sun before he suffers more ill-effects from the heat." If they could get him cooler and get him rested, they might be able to reach their destination in 1 day's time.

"You've managed to keep him going longer than I ever have. It helps that he just lets you help him. He always argues with me. I have to make it an order just to get him to drink water." Archer watched as his first officer tenderly took care of Trip's needs. Speaking softly to him, which seemed to take the edge off his normally testy behavior when he perceived he was the recipient of what he called 'needless mothering'. "Our visitor seems to have lost interest in us. Let's see if we can find a cave." Archer started to climb back down the way he came.

The trio trudged along searching for the entrance to a cave. T'Pol wrapped her arm around Trip's waist walking along beside him. He resisted at first claiming he didn't need help. T'Pol whispered in his ear that he should take advantage of her willingness to allow him so much bodily contact in public and his objections ceased.

"Run." T'Pol yelled pulling Trip along the path with her.

"What is that?" Archer saw a wall of dust heading in their direction.

"Sand-fire. We must find a cave." T'Pol continued to pull Trip along as she searched frantically for shelter.

"This way," a voice some distance away and behind some rocks, suggested. T'Pol followed the sound to find a Vulcan male standing at the entrance to a cave.

"May we join you?" T'Pol asked as she moved with Trip toward the opening.

"Of course. We must hurry to block the entrance before the sand-fire can reach us." The male told them as he assisted Archer inside.

"Can the sand...." Archer didn't get to finish his question before the flash from the electrical spark caught his attention. "....never mind I see why we're closing off the entrance." Archer hurriedly assisted them in moving rocks. Dust storms, sehlats, heat, and now electrical storms. What else could this place throw at them?

With all the available rocks placed as best they could be, T'Pol sat next to Trip. "I'm sorry I'm slowing you down, T'Pol. Deserts are never going to be good for me. Doesn't matter how prepared or how much water I drink I just can't seem to get the hang of how to survive in them."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. We both knew of your dislike for deserts, but you came anyway. We will rest and you will be better by morning. Try to sleep." T'Pol reached for his head and slowly pulled it down to the pack she had laid there for him.

"May I ask your purpose for being here?" The fellow traveler inquired of Archer.

Not knowing how to answer Archer sought assistance from T'Pol, who was leaning back against the wall with her eyes closed. Archer couldn't tell if she was sleeping or meditating. He decided she must have been meditating when Trip stirred from what appeared to be a bad dream and without thought, she leaned down to whisper something into his ear. His eyes opened finding hers as her hand sought a location at the back of his neck and pressed. Archer watched as Trip's body jerked slightly and then he relaxed back to what appeared to be a quiet sleep.

The Vulcan tried a new tact to gain information from Archer. "My name is Arev and you are?"

"I'm Jonathon Archer, that is T'Pol, and the guy sleeping is Trip Tucker. Glad to meet you." Archer turned his attention back to their savior. No need to give him too much information. T'Pol had successfully impressed upon them the need for withholding some information from anyone they had just met.

"Humans do not usually visit this part of Vulcan. Is there a special reason for your being here?"

"We are in search of my mother. She sent word that she needed assistance and this is where she is said to be." T'Pol explained to Arev.

"Your mother came to the Forge? A most unusual place to seek refuge."

"I agree, but you are here so you must find it an acceptable place to be." T'Pol countered trying to discover his purpose for being here.

"May I ask who your mother is? Perhaps I am acquainted with her." He suspected the identity of the Vulcan before him, but could not risk giving anything away until he was sure.

"Her name is T'Les. She evidently has become involved with a group known as Syrrannites and they fled to the Forge to escape the High Command." Being here, he must already know much of recent events.

"I have heard this. Apparently, Administrator V'Las has issued orders to apprehend one of their members known as T'Pau. He states she is responsible for the bombing at the Earth Embassy." Arev volunteered.

"We have been told the same thing. But we have also been told that these Syrrannites are pacifist and would not have harmed anyone to further their cause." Archer could see this man was planning his statements very carefully.

"This is true. There would be no purpose for harming Humans or Vulcans. They only wish to return our people to the true path of Surak and away from the path the High Command would lead them down." The Vulcan male stated with sternness in his eyes.

"We are here to find T'Les and to complete our investigation into the bombing. We wish to speak to this T'Pau to hear her side of this." Archer was beginning to agree with Soval. Something didn't add up here.

"T'Pau could not be responsible for the bombing. She has been out here for several days. There is no way she could have returned to the city and then back to her current location in so short a time."

"Then you are associated with the Syrrannites?" T'Pol was sure he was, but could see he was being cautious.

"I know of them. Few would venture out here and go unnoticed by the others here." The Forge was not a welcoming place and few Vulcans came here without a definite purpose.

T'Pol lifted the pendant from under her uniform. "My mother sent me this. It appears to be a map of the path Surak reportedly took through this area. Do you know where it leads?"

"To the T'Kareth Sanctuary. It is only a short distance from here. I will take you there in the morning." Arev decided he should trust them if T'Les had sent for them. "This storm will last for several hours so I suggest we all get some sleep. You will need to be well rested to finish your journey."

The noise woke them all. Trip was the first to reach Arev, when the bolt of electricity ricocheted off the rocks and hit him square in the chest. He attempted to speak, but only a rush of air came out as his hand reached up to the contact points on Tucker's cheek. When his fingertips made the connection the young man's eyes opened wide and Arev's only audible utterance was "remember".

Archer sat up just in time to see his friend's eyes react to the invasion of his mind. T'Pol's eyes did not adjust as quickly from the flash of light, but she soon recognized the situation. "T'Pol what's wrong with him? What do we do?" Archer asked.

T'Pol moved to Trip's side while touching her fingers to Arev's neck in search of a pulse. There was none. T'Pol tried to determine the best course to follow here, but she had little knowledge of mind melds and Vulcans and none at all regarding humans, except for the betrothal ceremony with Trip. Had Arev completed the meld? If not, what would the affect be on Trip? Could humans contract Pa'nar Syndrome?

While she contemplated all of this, Archer removed Arev's fingers from Trip's face as he began complaining of a headache. "What happened? My head is killing me." Jon didn't know exactly what had happened, but had a strange feeling about whatever had just transpired.

"It appears he knew he was dying and tried to initiate a mind meld with you." T'Pol explained to the obviously confused man.

"Mind meld? What's a mind meld?" Archer had no idea what she was talking about.

"It's a way Vulcans can connect one mind to another one. They can share thoughts between them." Trip offered as simply as he could. He still didn't fully understand them, but he didn't think the Captain needed a detailed explanation right now.

"You're certainly becoming an expert on everything Vulcan, Trip." Archer said with a little more of an edge in his voice than he'd meant.

"Yeah, well its part of who T'Pol is so I've been trying to learn as much as I can." Trip answered back a bit defensively.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just surprised. I've never known you to spend that much time learning anything besides how to build an engine."

"I spend time on things that are important to me and learning about Vulcan is important." He wasn't going to justify or defend his interest beyond that.

"So why would he have been trying to do this mind meld with you?" Archer watched as Trip continued pressing his temples in the hope that this would alleviate his pain.

"We do not know. He is unable to tell us and if he wasn't successful we will never know." T'Pol should have spent more time questioning Arev. Hopefully, when they reached the sanctuary her mother could provide them with some answers. Who was Arev? Moreover, what could have been so important that he would have risked a mind meld with a human?

Archer could see in the silent communication between his officers that they were keeping something from him, but that seemed to be the norm since they began 'dating' or whatever it was they were doing. As hard as he tried, he still found it difficult to accept what he saw as their lack of trust in him. He took off down the path leaving the pair to talk together.

Trip and T'Pol began following the Captain. "T'Pol, who was Arev? I'm sure you talked to him while I was asleep." Trip felt somewhat better now. He hadn't asked, but he felt or remembered that T'Pol had done something to make sure he rested enough to make today easier.

"I'm sure he was a Syrrannite, but didn't trust us enough to confide that. He knew my mother and of her whereabouts." It was no coincidence finding him going in the same direction as they were, through the Forge.

"Then maybe she or someone she's with can tell us about him or if what he did could have done anything to me." The Captain seemed anxious and upset. Trip didn't know what was wrong, but he could see something wasn't right. Having enough to deal with at the moment, Trip decided he'd have to worry about Jon later.

Archer was several feet ahead of them. He came to a point where the path split in two separate directions. Without consulting T'Pol, Trip pointed them in the right direction. He'd chosen the correct direction according to the map T'Pol had, but Trip hadn't studied it.

"T'Pol, what's wrong with Trip he's acting strange?" Archer watched as he crouched down signaling for them to do the same. "Do you hear anything?"

"No." T'Pol scanned the area looking for any signs that may have alerted Trip to trouble, but saw and heard nothing. Vulcans hearing was so much more sensitive that she would certainly hear movement before a human would.

Walking bent over the pair moved closer to Trip's position. "Did you hear something?" Archer asked.

"They're out there watching. We just need to wait and they'll come get us." Trip replied moving his eyes from side to side.

"Who's out there, Trip?" Jon asked when T'Pol indicated she had seen no sign of any movement around the area.

"Just wait. They'll be here shortly. We have to wait." Tucker was losing patience. He told them they were coming. They should be content to sit here and wait. For whom he did not know.

"So we're just supposed to sit here and wait for someone to come get us and then go where?" Jon waited for an answer. When he didn't get one he asked, "How's that headache Trip"

T'Pol tapped Trip's arm pointing in all four directions. There was four-robed Vulcans standing around them.

"You are T'Pol?" The one closest to them asked while staring at the IDIC she had hanging around her neck.

"Yes. Do you know where my mother is?" They recognized her mother's pendant.

"Follow us. We will take you to her." Two of the Vulcans headed down the path and two took up the rear.

Shuttles flew overhead. "The High Command is searching for us. Their sensors cannot find us through the dampening field." One of their escorts offered.

"Does that field cover this whole area?" Trip was curious about the naturally occurring field.

"It only reaches up a short distance, but it's enough to protect us until they send in patrols on foot." The same Vulcan told him.

The group entered a cave system at the end of the passage.

"Daughter, I see you and Charles received my message." T'Les and several others came into the large room.

"Mother, why have you brought us here?" T'Pol wanted an explanation for her mother's behavior.

T'Les greeted Charles. "It is good you honored your promise, Charles."

"You honored yours, as well. It's nice to see you again ma'am. Just didn't expect it to be so soon."

"Must you call me ma'am?"

"I'll call you whatever you wish if you'll call me Trip." He knew it was impossible, but if a bribe were possible, it was worth a try.

"T'Pol, Charles come; there is much we need to discuss." T'Les moved away from the others in the room.

One of the females spoke to T'Les in Vulcan. Trip heard something about him being an akaxo, an out-worlder.

Walking closer to the woman speaking to T'Les and T'Pol, Trip spoke just loud enough for her and the other Vulcans to hear him. "Nirsh, nash-voh itisha skan (No, I am family)." He insisted without considering the consequences of his admission. T'Pol had been facing away from him so he could not see if she was angry or not.

The woman looked to T'Les and T'Pol, who both nodded affirmatively. Trip moved his gaze to those around him and found that every Vulcan in the room had that look in their eyes.

"Why does every Vulcan we meet react like that when they find out I speak Vulcan?" It was annoyingly consistent behavior.

"Aksh'lz (sorry)," came from several of those present.

"Niemaixo (thank you)," Trip replied. "Now will everyone please speak English? I can translate, but I'm tired and my brain is working a little slower than usual." Actually, it seemed to be working a little more than usual too. They had no universal translator as it wouldn't work here and his head hurt too much to have to work that hard to understand what they were saying.

T'Les left the room and returned with a flask and a small vial. "Drink this." She handed him the vial. "It will replenish the nutrients your body needs. Then drink as much of this as you can now and keep it with you until it is gone." T'Les exchanged the emptied vial with the flask.

Archer sat on the floor across the room taking in the whole scene. He knew Trip had meet T'Pol's mother and would have established some sort of relationship with her, but all the Vulcans seemed to accept him after the exchange that had just taken place. And the surprises just kept coming. Trip spoke and obviously understood Vulcan. He really needed to sit down and have a serious chat with him. There was the Trip he knew and then there was this Trip he had never met before.

"Can you get some of this for Captain Archer? He does much better in the heat than I do, but it couldn't hurt to replenish the nutrients his body has lost too." Trip motioned to the vial T'Les had taken back.

"What is wrong with your friend T'Pol?" The Vulcan who had objected to Trip being present asked.

"I'm sorry. You seem to know who we are but we don't know who you are?" Trip had noticed whoever she was; she seemed to be in charge.

"My name is T'Pau. I know you've heard of me. The High Command has spread word that I am responsible for the bombing of your Embassy and has sent patrols out looking for me. They have begun bombing the Forge in an attempt to kill us or drive us out into the open."

"We meet a man named Arev on our way here. He explained that it was not possible for you to have been at the bombing." Captain Archer told her.

"Arev? Where is he?" One of the Vulcans asked.

"He was struck by a bolt of electricity during a sand-fire storm and killed. Before he died, he managed to meld with Commander Tucker. Since then he has not been himself and he has a headache." T'Pol hoped someone here would be able to help him.

T'Pau turned her attention to Tucker. "Commander, what do you remember of your encounter with Arev?"

"Not much. And call me Trip." He requested before he continued. "He touched my face, told me to remember, I was listening to him for I don't know how long, and then I got this headache and woke up." Trip kept trying to remember what the Vulcan told him to remember. All he knew was he needed to get somewhere to retrieve some object and soon.

With desperation in her voice, T'Pau spoke as she approached the Tucker. "That's all you remember?"

"I'm supposed to go get something and take it...I don't know where. To Priests at Seleya. I think." The pain increased every time he tried to press his memory harder.

"Who was this Arev and what would he have needed someone to remember so badly that he would have forced a mind meld on a human?" There had to be a reason a Vulcan would risk a mind meld with a human and Trip wanted to know what it was.

"His name was not Arev. That is the name he used when traveling to conceal his identity. His real name was Syrran. He was leader of the Syrrannites. He went to see the priests to have them unlock the map that would lead us to the Kir'Shara and Surak's katra." T'Pau locked her gaze with Trip's trying to see if it was possible that Syrran had given this human the map when he melded with him.

"Trip keeps saying he needs to go find something and get it somewhere, but he doesn't seem to know what it is or where it is." Archer told them as Trip watched T'Pau intently. Concerned for whatever she might be thinking about what their leader might have passed on to him.

"Syrran may have only had time to transfer the image of the map and simple instructions. It may not be possible for humans to mind meld with Vulcans. As far as we know it has never been attempted before." Melding had not been studied on Vulcan recently and any knowledge they had either been destroyed or hidden.

Quietly Trip informed them. "It is possible to meld with a human. What we need to know is if it's possible for a human to contract Pa'nar Syndrome like Vulcans do from an incomplete meld?" Trip asked shocking everyone. He'd been thinking about it since Arev melded with him and T'Pol told him she didn't know if the meld had been successful.

"You have much information about forbidden topics in Vulcan culture Commander Tucker." T'Pau wondered how and why this human knew of such things.

"Yeah, I read a lot, but you didn't answer my question?" Trip wasn't concerned about revealing his knowledge of Vulcans at the moment. He just wanted to know that he wasn't going to suffer as T'Pol had.

"If you will allow me I would like to initiate a mind meld with you. It will cause you no harm. If the meld with Syrran was not completed properly it will stop anymore damage from being done and I can correct any that has already occurred." T'Pau hadn't said it would allow her to see if Syrran had indeed melded with Trip to preserve the map he was carrying in his mind.

"No one is melding with me..." Trip stopped himself and looked to T'Pol. He had two people in his head already; he wasn't prepared to let a third mind enter his. The two there now were battling for control as it was. Trip grabbed T'Pol's hand, "Excuse us," he said as he led her out of the room.

He found an empty room with a door further into the catacombs. The look in her eyes said she was confused at his abruptness. "I'm not angry. I just needed to get you alone." His arms wrapped around her and he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead.

"We must talk about what we are going to do?" T'Pol waited for him to say something.

"I know and I know what you're going to say. We need to go wherever this Arev or Syrran wants us to go and find the Kir'Shara. I agree. If he knew where it is we have to find it." Trip understood how important this was to her people.

"Then we will begin tomorrow." T'Pol embraced him and tightened her arms around him.

"I shouldn't have said anything about us without asking you first. I'm sorry." Trip had wanted to tell her that since he blurted out that he was family.

"They are Vulcans and would have known soon anyway. Our connection is not fully formed, but it is detectable by other telepaths. In addition, the first time you touched me in their presence they would have known. My mother or I would have informed T'Pau if you hadn't. You have no reason to apologize."

"So you or T'Les would have said something? I thought you wanted to keep it a secret from your people."

"I have no desire to hide our relationship from my people, only to protect our status on Enterprise and with Starfleet. I resigned my commission with the High Command, so there is little they can do to me." T'Pol knew few on Vulcan, most especially those in the High Command, would discuss Vulcan bonds or any other sacred rituals with non-Vulcans, so they would not disclose any knowledge of their relationship to the humans.

"Can we stay here for a while? I've missed you." He just wanted to stay here and hold her. "I'm not going to let anyone else meld with me, but you. You know that right?" He smiled that smile that said everything about how he felt about her.

"Yes, I would not wish you to share something so intimate with anyone else." T'Pol was a little more than jealous.

"Especially if it's another Vulcan female, who just happens to be un-bonded?" He had no intention of melding with any other Vulcans, but teasing T'Pol was fun and she didn't usually give him much to work with.

How he knew T'Pau was un-bonded was a curiosity, but one left for another time. "If a meld is necessary I will have my mother or T'Pau instruct me in how to perform it myself." She would not allow another to meld with her mate unless it was a matter of life or death.

T'Pol wasn't comfortable discussing such intimate matters with others nearby so she changed the subject. "We have been together for several days how can you miss me?" She knew what he meant, but found it pleasurable to make him explain himself.

"Not my idea of quality time when the Captain or a roomful of Vulcans are with us." Eyes barely opened he swayed like a tree in the wind, trying to keep his balance and take advantage of this alone time with T'Pol. "This Arev or Syrran or whoever he is wasn't too happy to find you in my head. He seemed surprised that we had a bond and said it wasn't a betrothal bond, he said it was stronger than that." Trip was beginning to remember some of what happened to him.

T'Pol guided him to the wall and slid his body down to the floor. She lowered herself and then leaned back into his chest pulling his arms around her. "It's probable that he was correct. Our bond was not the typical betrothal bond established between children. We grew quite close and chose to become bonded on our own, even if it was subconsciously." She listened to his breathing. Sensing how tired he had become. "You must rest. I will stay with you until you wake." T'Pol relaxed and allowed him to hold her while he slept and she meditated.

She had much to consider. Most prevalent amongst her thoughts was why the High Command was working so hard to blame the Syrrannites for the bombing? What was Administrator V'Las really up to? She hadn't had the opportunity to speak with T'Les but wanted to know what her mother had gotten herself, T'Pol and Trip, and now Captain Archer, involved in and why?


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Perceptions of Others**

Trip was like a man possessed. The group set off on their quest for the Kir'Shara at sunrise and Trip refused to stop or even slow down. T'Pol had been keeping pace with him forcing him to eat and drink as he sped toward his goal.

Explosions sounded all around them. Each time the Commander seemed to quicken his pace. T'Les and T'Pol were becoming concerned that he would collapse soon if he kept this up. Trip had been showing signs of exhaustion for the last couple of hours and T'Pol had no doubt that if they didn't stop soon he would pass out as he walked. The trek had been worse than the journey to the sanctuary. The paths veered in every direction and were far more rugged than those they had traveled on previously.

"No stopping. We're almost there." Tucker declared when T'Pol and T'Les tried to get him to take a break.

The explosions began to get closer. The vibrations shuddered through the walls of the canyon. Loose rocks fell all around them. Trip pointed, "It's there in the caverns."

The group ran to the caves, quickly, to escape the onslaught of debris descending upon them. Just as they reached the opening, several boulders fell, pushing the Captain and T'Les down into a gully, trapping Archer under one of the larger boulders.

Trip hadn't seen it happen, but he experienced it as if he had. T'Pol was just behind Jon and T'Les and silently screamed for her mother. Trip felt the tide of emotions as she rushed to help them. He had little energy left, but turned back to assist them.

T'Pol was distraught and emotional in a way Trip had never seen her before. Tears were running down her face while she frantically tried to push the boulder blocking her path away. Reaching out to her Trip spoke her name softly in an attempt to gain her attention.

"T'Pol."

"T'Pol." He spoke much more sternly, grasping at her trying to make her stop.

"T'Pol, you're hurting yourself." His hands clung to her shoulders and forced her back against him.

"I must..." Breathless T'Pol could not finish her declaration. Instead, she tried to pull free to again reach her mother.

"I'll go get help, but not until you tell me you'll wait. You can't do this by yourself and I'm not going to be much help." Trip held her as tight as his arms would let him. Repeating 'relax so I can go get help' to himself, as if this would magically make her do as he asked.

"Hurry," was all he heard.

"Stay right here. Promise?" He wasn't leaving her until he was sure she wouldn't continue on her own.

"Yes." T'Pol fell dejectedly to the ground.

When they finally got T'Les and Jon inside they were still conscious but both had lost a significant amount of blood. T'Pau and T'Pol administered what first aid they could, but had few supplies with them. Mostly they made them comfortable. Wrapping the worst of their injuries with the bandages, they had. T'Pol sat with her mother, tears in her eyes, talking until T'Les fell unconscious.

T'Pol sought out Trip. She found him off by himself lying on the floor in a small room clutching the object he has come here to find. "I see you found the Kir'Shara."

"Yeah, it was in a small space at the end of the cavern." He and several of the Syrrannites had gone to locate it while T'Pol looked after T'Les and the Captain.

"You are not well." T'Pol touched her cooler hand to his forehead.

"I know this is your home T'Pol but I can't say there's much I like about this place." He tried to sit up, but had no strength. He wished for the cold. At least if you got cold enough the hurting eventually stopped. And T'Pol needed to take care of T'Les not worry about him.

"This has not been my home for some time. I think I started to feel it before I left for Earth, but most certainly when I resigned my commission and remained on Enterprise." T'Pol and her mother had just discussed this. T'Les sensed her daughter's distrust of the High Command and ambivalent feelings about her home world. Her mother became upset when she accepted her posting to Earth because she feared T'Pol would never return home.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I know what it's like not to have someplace to call home." Trip had felt that way since the Xindi attacked Earth and destroyed his hometown.

T'Pol stroked his face. "You are mentally and physically exhausted. Do not try to talk, just rest." She knew this could not continue. Trip's exhaustion increased each day he endured the rigors this heat inflicted upon him, and now he was suffering the affects of a mind meld. With the Captain and her mother injured, their progress would be slowed even more. T'Pol took hold of the object in Trip's arms. "Please let me have this. I will keep it safe while you sleep."

Trip relaxed his grip letting her remove it from his grasp. He moved his head into her lap. "Thank you for taking such good care of me." Trip closed his eyes. "There's not much I wouldn't do for a shower right about now," was the last thing he said before he fell asleep.

T'Pol sat the object next to her. "You are my chosen mate. I will always take care of you." T'Pol let her fingers run lightly through his hair. Marveling at how natural, it now felt to be so close to him, when before it had always felt so awkward and uncomfortable.

---

Trip watched her meditate. When she finally opened her eyes, he told her, "When this is over you really need to teach me how to do that."

"I will teach you whatever you wish to learn. Did you sleep well?" She held him in her lap for several hours, but had gone to check on her mother and the Captain during the night and had not wanted to risk waking him when she returned, so she sat nearby and meditated.

"I did sleep better, but I think you need to ask about that mind meld. There seems to be a war going on in my mind and maybe you can do something to stop it before I go crazy."

"What do you mean?" T'Pol was aware of the struggle for control of his mind, but not how hard it was for him to maintain control.

"How can a guy who's not even here anymore be in my head trying to make me do what he wants." It was exhausting having to fight for control of his thoughts. He wanted to rest, Syrran wanted him to get to Mt. Seleya without any stops, and T'Pol wanted something in the middle. This planet was draining enough without these constant mental battles.

"I will discuss this with T'Pau again, but I will not allow her to meld with you and I lack experience and may cause you harm." T'Pol would attempt it if he wished, but preferred to wait until they reached Mt. Seleya to have the priest assistance before there was any meld with him.

"Why do I know she's un-bonded?" T'Pau had grazed his arm earlier when she approached him and he instantly knew she did not have a mate. He'd have to make it a point to keep some distance between himself and any un-bonded females they came across. Did this work with unattached human females? And what about her and males? He'd was sure he'd find out, eventually.

"It is part of the bond. I told you it protects itself from intrusions and to do this the status of any potential threats must be known. I am the only female that will ever meld with you, but if I do, it will serve to strengthen the bond between us un-naturally. Some couples chose this path, but it is my wish to allow our connection to develop in a more normal fashion." T'Pol wanted this adjustment to be as natural and comfortable for Trip as she could make it and she also believed melding with him would only make the adjustment she must make to his emotions more traumatic and difficult for them both.

"Is this what it will be like when we're fully bonded? Will you be able to have influence and control over my mind?" That someone can be in your head and make you act against your will was scary, even if it was someone you loved more than anything.

"Vulcans have mental abilities they never discuss and are forbidden to use. Being bonded will allow me to share myself with you through dreams, images and thoughts and it will give me access your mind. As the bond strengthens, we will determine how we chose to handle the connection between us. That is part of why I wish to continue as we have been, so we have time to adjust. As a Vulcan, I have experience with a parental bond, and still find our bond unsettling at times." When his strongest emotions hit her, sometimes it caused an almost physical reaction because she was unable to suppress them. They were not her own so she was forced to experience and process them more like a human would. Practice would make this as automatic as suppressing her emotions, but it took time to train herself to treat his emotions and her strongest emotions in this way.

"Okay, no mind-meld. I have been able to keep him quiet when I concentrate on it. I'll just have to keep my guard up and keep pushing him to the back of my brain when he gets to bossy." Trip had found a way to stay aware of Syrran but not let him be in control most of the time.

He was teaching himself the techniques she would have taught him, so she decided to let him continue to do this on his own. The more he learned now the easier it would be for him later. Having someone with you always was comforting and something she desired, but she knew it could also be disconcerting and extremely distracting if one was not prepared for it. Vulcan children were born with the connection to their parents and still had to learn how to incorporate it into their mind. Then as they grew up they had to learn how to be without the strong connection as their parents withdrew from their mind. It had been over forty years since T'Pol's mother had weakened the connection between them. T'Pol had to relearn how to open her mind up to another again and no matter how much she wished to do this it was still difficult to give up control of part of herself to Trip and it had to be just as difficult for him.

"You are doing well with his katra, just stay alert and this will be over very soon. Now, you requested a shower." T'Pol collected a container of water and a towel. She considered warming the water, but decided the coolness would be more appreciated.

"What exactly do you have in mind here?" Trip eyed her for some indication of what she had planned. A shower was not possible here.

"We have no shower, but we do have water here that can be used to remove some of your discomfort. Please remove your shirt and pants." T'Pol dipped the towel into the water and waited for him to comply.

Trip looked at the towel in her hand as she waited for him. "You're going to wash me?" She had touched most every part of his body during their neuropressure sessions, but this seemed much more intimate than anything she'd done in the past, except that one night they'd spent together.

"Yes, unless you wish to do it yourself." She hadn't expected any objection. They had seen each other with far less on.

"No it's fine. Just a little surprised that's all." He removed his shirt and pants and held his breath. He missed the closeness of neuropressure and her touch on his skin.

She started at his forehead and slowly moved over his face. He closed his eyes enjoying the feel of the wet cloth on his warm, dry skin. Her fingernails dragged lightly behind the cloth down his neck sending a tingling sensation throughout his body. "T'Pol, your fingernails feel great, but could you please stop." It was taking everything in him to control his body's reaction to the sensation.

"If it's not unpleasant why would you wish me to stop?" She could feel his emotions and the control he was trying to exert over his body.

"Let's just say I don't have the energy to keep my body under control." He really didn't want to discuss this with her and especially not here. He'd accepted the whole no sex thing but if they were in the privacy of her quarters he might indulge her, but not here and not now. "Just stop and we'll talk about it when we get back to Enterprise." When he could rid himself of this feeling of having a voyeur in his head and it was only his voice he was listening.

"I only wish to make you more comfortable and to help you relax." He was embarrassed and she didn't understand why.

"I'm not strong enough to fight my own body and Syrran right now and this really isn't something most men would be comfortable talking about, so can we just drop it." He really didn't need this right now. He had a cranky, old Vulcan in his head who had a dampening effect on any intimate feelings or thoughts he might have in relation to T'Pol.

"There is no reason to be embarrassed or upset. It is a normal biological function of the human body, correct? We will need to add a new rule. You will not hide things from me in the future." She had become aware of his hiding his physical reactions to her and decided it was not necessary any longer.

"Normal or not there are some things even humans keep private and this is one of them. Do Vulcan males have this problem?" The idea of a Vulcan male walking around 'horny' just didn't compute. He waited to hear remarks from his companion, but he remained strangely quiet. Maybe Vulcan males didn't like discussing intimate details of the lives anymore than humans ones did.

"Some do, but I am not a male so I am only aware of what may happen after they are married. There is little or no contact with their betrothed or any other female before that. It takes time for a connection strong enough, for sexual intimacy, to form between mates." Couples usually lived together the year after the first Pon Farr to establish a connection and ready themselves for the intimacy and emotions of the bond that formed during the ritual. Others never became intimate except during Pon Farr, especially those couples who were separated by work or duty.

This was news. He'd thought sex would only be possible during her Pon Farr. "Wait a minute. You mean that after your Pon Farr we can have a normal sexual relationship?"

"Ours is not a typical Vulcan bond, because you are human and because we had formed a bond without our knowledge. I require time to make the adjustment, but I never expected you to forgo sex until my Pon Farr." That may be 1-2 years away and expecting Trip to wait that long to consummate a long-term relationship had never crossed her mind and she hadn't taken his proclamation about giving up sex seriously, even if he had.

Trip was... well he didn't really know what he was. Happy, certainly, but mostly confused because he thought they'd already talked about this and somehow he must have gotten something wrong. "Okay, we really need to talk more about this, but not here and not with somebody else's katra in here." He pointed to his temple. "I'm willing to consider your new rule, but with conditions. One being if I have to get over my inhibitions and embarrassment, you can't hide emotions or anything else either. And secondly, this is strictly private behind closed, locked doors activity." Trip was beginning to see this wasn't a one-sided issue for them. He'd never been required to make himself so vulnerable to another person before and it was a little scary to open so much of himself up to someone else, but if T'Pol was willing, he could do no less. At least he had some time to wrap his brain around the whole idea. Right now, he needed to concentrate so he could erect some barriers to keep this Vulcan from taking over his every thought.

Not being comfortable with intimate topics here herself she respected his wishes. "We will talk more about this when we return to Enterprise." T'Pol rewet the cloth and began moving it across his chest not allowing her nails to encounter his skin.

Trip closed his eyes smiling, letting the feel of the sand and salt being washed away flood his senses. In a strange way, T'Pol had relaxed him, but not in the way she had intended. There was much to think about, but there was also much to be happy about between them. Things were moving slowly, but T'Pol was open, comfortable, and confidant around him now so he'd move at whatever pace she needed. She was manipulating him, but not deceptively, which was a refreshing change from his previous relationships. If she didn't tell him something all he had to do was ask and she would freely inform him of whatever he wished to know.

---

"We can't risk that. If we bring a shuttle down here with the doctor, we risk Travis and Phlox; not to mention increasing the likelihood that the High Command will fire on Enterprise. V'Las was pretty clear when he told us to stand down and I'm sure he'd like nothing better than for us to give him a reason to force Starfleet to order us to leave." Although, Trip knew that with three of the senior officers on the planet and unreachable Starfleet would be hesitant about recalling Enterprise.

"We can't travel carrying two stretchers either." T'Pau countered. She had been arguing for leaving Archer and T'Les here under the care of Dr. Phlox, while they proceeded to Mt. Seleya.

"The Commander is right. The High Command will send patrols in soon and they continue to fire weapons into the area." The number of shuttles passing over them had increased since the previous day. "As Starfleet officers, we cannot leave the Captain and the doctor unprotected and at risk. We must contact Lt. Reed and have him send Ensign Mayweather to pick up the Captain and my mother and return with them to Enterprise." Trip had gently reminded her that he was here to help her carry out the mission for the Syrrannites, but their first duty was to Enterprise and its crew.

---

"T'Pol what is V'Las after here? He's in charge and has control of the government, so what else could he want?" Trip had been going over and over possible motives for the Administrators actions.

"He does not have total control. The other members of the High Command can veto him, if there is enough opposition to his decisions. The Syrrannites are the last real threat to his future plans for Vulcan, though. The other members have not objected to his actions often and less often as the years pass." T'Pol was aware that Ambassador Soval and others had been actively seeking to discover what his plans were, but V'Las had always been extremely secretive about his agenda and had no confidants that anyone could find.

"None of this makes sense. Becoming a Vulcan dictator seems like such an emotional goal for someone who's supposed to be suppressing all his needs and desires." It did help explain why most all the Vulcans they'd met were so homogenized. According to T'Pol, the High Command now handpicked and commissioned each crewmember on their ships; whereas; it used to be that a majority of their people were required to serve for a period of time aboard a ship early in their adult life That would have made the mix more a representation of the people on Vulcan.

"It no longer matters what his purpose is. He must be stopped." An investigation after the fact would have to answer any unanswered questions.

Travis had come and gone. He collected the Captain and T'Les returning quickly giving the Vulcans less time to locate the shuttle. Ambassador Soval had given them codes to get past the security satellites, but the longer he was on the surface the more likely it was the shuttlepod would show up on the sensors of the Vulcan shuttles patrolling the area.

T'Pol took the papers Trip held in his hand. "What is this?" T'Pol recognized the words, but had only ever seen English written words on a data screen or in a printed book.

"It's a handwritten progress report from Malcolm. The report I had you ask him to send. He had to write it out by hand because we can't use a padd here. If I'd been able to find paper and something to write with we could have sent him a report." Trip had been writing on paper for some time. He found it easier to memorize the Vulcan vocabulary words when he wrote them out by hand. His mother had him do the same thing when he was in school when he needed to memorize anything. That's why he'd thought of having Malcolm write out a report.

The only message they had sent back to Enterprise was that Malcolm was to follow his previous orders and not tell the Vulcans anything. With the Captain back onboard, Malcolm would just have to hold out until Archer was able to take over.

"He says Soval is working on proving V'Las is responsible for the bombing. They think it had something to do with driving a wedge between Vulcan and Earth to keep the joint missions from happening. He doesn't say what proof they've found." Trip motioned to the report in T'Pol's hand. "Will any of this matter once we get the Kir'Shara and Surak's katra to the priests? You said it would prevent V'Las from doing anything." He wasn't clear on how an artifact would stop the High Command.

"One of the priests will undergo a procedure to accept Surak's katra. Scientist will then date the container the katra and Kir'Shara inhabit, validating them. Once all the testing is complete, the authenticity will be proven and the teachings will be accepted as the original and true teachings of Surak." It sounded so simple, but T'Pol was aware that in reality it would be a long, tedious process requiring many years for the full impact to filter down to all of Vulcan. V'Las would most likely be arrested and someone else would take over the High Command and the hard work would begin.

He took her hand in his. "Then let's get going. The sooner we get there the better." Heading back to the cavern to collect their belongings and the Vulcan's waiting for them Trip could feel her worrying about his physical condition, but he felt better today. "I'll be okay. I have you looking after me and I promise to do whatever you think I need to. If I won't listen you have my permission to use that nerve pinch on me." Supplies were starting to run low. Their water would last for maybe two more days and his body was not going to hold up too much longer. His muscles were getting weaker, the blisters on his feet were raw, and the nausea was almost constant. Even his clothing felt uncomfortably, rough against his skin.

---

"And I thought Soval was the most obstinate Vulcan I'd ever met." Trip complained loudly, frustration clearly showing in his every gesture.

"May I remind you this is our home and we know the area?" T'Pau insisted.

"I never said I knew the area better than you. I simply said I know a better way to get there. In case you haven't noticed, those shuttles aren't flying random routes over us any longer. They are flying in a search pattern and becoming much more precise with their weapon strikes." He'd been listening to the shuttles for hours now and they had changed their pattern. Someone from the military must be in charge, which could only mean they were stepping up efforts to find and kill them. "My way keeps us from being trapped in a gully with no way out. We can cross the 200 or so feet of open terrain tonight." Trip was tired of arguing and knew he didn't have much time left. "T'Pol I don't know why, but I can see the route in my head. We have to go. I'm not going to make it much longer out here." There was one flask of water left. The Vulcans were no longer drinking any of it knowing Trip needed it more than they did.

"Let's go." T'Pol followed close behind him along with several others. T'Pau and the few stragglers eventually brought up the rear.

They reached a bluff just as the shuttle made a strafing run down the gully T'Pau had wanted them to follow. Trip wasn't even tempted to say I told you so when he saw the look in every pair of eyes watching the walls cave in as the explosions came one after another. "Let's get moving. They're getting closer and we have a ways to go." Trip tried to shake off the feelings of fear and sadness that seemed to be running through him. Then it registered these weren't all his feelings. He wasn't sure if it was all T'Pol or if perhaps, some of it came from Syrran and whatever part of him was residing in his head.

T'Pol grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close and ease her fear, but they had to keep moving. T'Pol nodded her head to him as if to say she understood and took the lead.

The clearing came into sight. On the far side, there was a grouping of rocks and beyond them were the first signs of civilization they'd seen in over a week. The Vulcans became very cautious and moved with more stealth than they had previously. "This would be the perfect place for an ambush." One of the Vulcan males stated as he worked around to the edge of the rocks they were crouched behind.

T'Pol reached into her pack pulling out a tricorder. It lit up when she hit the power button. That was good news and bad news. Their equipment worked, but they no longer had the protection of the dampening field to hide them. Trip moved to T'Pol's side. "How far to Mt. Seleya?"

"It is 12 kilometers in that direction. The last 2 are the steps leading up to the temple." If they reached the steps, the High Command wouldn't dare attack them. There would be no acceptable excuse for damage to one of Vulcan's most sacred monasteries.

Trip chuckled shaking his head. "A mile of stairs? Only on Vulcan could they think it's a good idea to make you climb that many stairs in this heat." All Trip could think was how thankful he was that this the cooler part of the year.

The second group, of which Trip and T'Pol were a part of, watched as the first group made their way across the clearing. Trip insisted he and T'Pol carry their phasers. The Syrrannites were a passive bunch, but Trip would not sit back and allow anything to happen to T'Pol or any one of them if he could prevent it.

They started across to meet up with the first group when the attack came. Weapons fire came from every direction. T'Pol was several feet ahead of Trip almost to the cover of the rocks. "T'Pol." Trip yelled. She turned and he threw the sack containing the Kir'Shara into her arms on his way down into the dirt. "Go. Get it to Mt. Seleya. We'll catch up." Trip continued firing his phaser and pulling himself across the ground to cover.

T'Pol stopped at the grouping of rocks. Trip saw the indecision in her eyes. "Go. Now!" He pointed to his head. "I'll find you. Now go." She turned and ran. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted off the ground and thrust forward.

"Move Commander Tucker or I'm going to carry you." The Vulcan male ordered. The pair ran for some time until Trip couldn't catch his breath and fell face first in the rocks.

"Commander I am going to carry you. We cannot stop." The Vulcan threw Trip over his shoulder and continued running.

Trip lifted his head to see their pursuers closing the distance between them. He steadied his breathing as best he could, pointed his phaser, and began firing. He may not hit anyone, bouncing as he was, but he may be able to slow them down. It was working. They were seeking cover between their lunges forward. All those hours of practice with Major Hayes had finally paid off.

When they reached the stairs, Trip searched up toward the top for any signs of the others. If they'd made it, he could only hope T'Pol had made it too. The weapons were no longer firing, but the footsteps were still moving forward, rapidly. Trip gulped the last of his water and started crawling upwards.

Halfway up they stopped to rest again. Trip studied the Vulcan sitting on the step below him. "I got the impression you didn't like humans much."

"At first, I thought it was that you were human that I didn't like, but then I realized it was just you. You have a way about you ...you're."

"I'm a smart ass, I know. Especially, when I'm struggling to stay alive." Trip offered. He knew some didn't appreciate his sense of humor, but he hadn't been at his best since they met up with the Syrrannites. The heat and the katra in his head drained him as he fought just to stay upright.

The Vulcan's eyes softened a bit. "I finally figured that out. You're not from here and this climate is not one you would chose to spend time in. You came here anyway I assume for T'Pol and to help T'Les and my father stuck you right in the middle of a fight you were never meant to be part of."

"Your father? You're Syrell?" The name and his relationship to Syrran instantly came to him.

"Yes. My father spoke of me?" Pride? Trip swore he heard pride in his voice.

"No, he's still poking around in my head. His katra is what T'Pol calls it." They didn't know if it was truly his katra or part of him or just some information Syrran had been able to pass on to him. The priest at Mt. Seleya would have to sort that out. Trip caught the desperate look in the young man's eyes.

"You carry his katra. I thought he only passed the map and instructions during the meld." Surprise and something else Trip couldn't identify sparked in his eyes.

"I'm not sure, but if it was only about the Kir'Shara he should be gone, but he's still here making me miserable with his comments on whatever I happen to be thinking about. Was he always so cranky and demanding?" Trip smiled.

"He had a definite way of seeing things and had no problem letting me or anybody else know it." Syrell let out a long sigh.

Trip almost told the son that he shared this characteristic with his father but thought better of it. "So, if he's really in here what will the priest do?" Trip might as well ask now so he had time to prepare himself for whatever it was.

"They will perform a ritual and place his katra in a receptacle and then place it in a position of honor within the temple." Arrangements would need to be made. Syrell had not thought it possible that his father's katra had been saved.

"We left him in a cave in the Forge. T'Pol can give you directions." Trip didn't know anything about how Vulcans dealt with death. When Syrell said they'd place the katra in a receptacle Trip remembered all the relics in the caverns under P'Jem. The priests had said something about katras being in some of them, but he hadn't been paying much attention back then. Now that he understood what that meant he'd ask T'Pol later if the Vulcans had been able to get them out safely before the Andorians destroyed the monastery.

"I know where he is. We will retrieve him once the Kir'Shara and Surak's katra are safe. Parents and children remain bonded throughout their lives. The bond is weak because I am an adult but I was aware of his death and where he was." Syrell closed his eyes thinking of his father.

"I'm sorry I didn't know you sensed that much through your bond." He hadn't thought much about the bond between parents and children until T'Les was hurt and he felt T'Pol's reaction. Did T'Pol feel her mother's pain or just that she was injured? The trauma of a parent's death had to bad enough without feeling them die too.

"You are bonded with T'Pol are you not?" Syrell knew he was, but politely asked.

"Yes I am, but we still don't totally understand how it works. I do know that if she disappeared it would be...well I don't want to think about her not being there." Trip had not verbalized this before. "Do you have a mate?" If he did, at least he wouldn't be so alone. Trip didn't even know him, but didn't want to think about how lonely it must be for Vulcans, who had no other bonds, and lost that connection abruptly.

"My wife is back at our home awaiting the birth of our first child." Syrell perked up as much as any Vulcan seemed to.

"Boy or girl?" Trip had been walking up the steps as they talked.

"Boy. My wife can feel her bond with him and I can sense it, but only faintly at this distance." Syrell stayed behind Trip as if he meant to catch him if he were to fall.

"I..." Trip didn't finish. His breathing became labored so he started counting the steps trying to distract himself. His chest felt so heavy and forcing air in and out of his lungs was becoming increasingly painful with every breath. The time between rest periods was getting shorter and shorter. His clothes were dry and scratchy, which told him he was no longer sweating. Lift your foot, move it up, set it down. Lift the other foot, move it up, set it down, on the step that keeps swaying back and forth.

"_T'Pol."_ He called out for her in his mind. The pain in his hips spread up into his ribs and his legs felt weighted to the ground. But he had to find her. She was safe...he could feel her. Lift your foot, move it up...lift the foot...step...lift.

The back of his feet hurt bumping up and down. He had this odd sensation of being pulled up the steps. "T'Pol?"

"No, Commander, but we'll be with her soon." Syrell pulled him inside, out of the sun. "Drink this, Commander Tucker." Syrell lifted him up bracing him against the wall, put the ladle up to his lips, and poured the water down his throat, causing a sporadic cough when he couldn't swallow it fast enough. The cough subsided. "Keep drinking. Are you okay?"

"Maybe." Was all Trip could get out. His head rolled from side to side, searching. "Where's T'Pol? She's close by."

"I am here." T'Pol sat next to him. Syrell replaced the ladle in the cradle on the wall and left them alone. "Thank you for keeping your word and finding me."

Trip dropped his head in her lap. "Didn't have a choice. Be lost without you. Want to sleep. Never want to see sun ever again."

"Sleep, we will leave Vulcan soon. You don't have to come back here if you do not wish to."

"Marry here." He knew that was true, but his thoughts wouldn't come together enough to make sense out of them.

T'Pol let her body relax into the hard surface behind her as she stroked his face. "Sleep we'll talk about that later."

"Okay." He lost consciousness.

---

"Quiet. Thank you it's finally quiet." Trip felt T'Pol's fingers touching his. It was as quiet as he ever wanted it to be. T'Pol was there stronger every day it seemed. On the other hand, maybe he was just becoming better at separating her from his own chatter.

"The priest removed Syrran's katra while you slept. I told them to do it." She had given permission for the procedure without asking Trip.

She was worried. He could feel her anxiety that he'd be angry. "I trust you to make the right decision if I can't, so stop worrying. I'd have done the same if it were you. Was it Syrran's katra?"

"Yes, Syrell was pleased. He asked me to give you this when he left." T'Pol handed him a letter, written in Vulcan.

Commander Tucker:

I wished to remain until you were awake, but I must retrieve my father for burial and return home for the birth of my son. Thank you for all you have done for Vulcan and my family. Having my father's katra means much to us all. You will always hold a special place in our history and in our family. When you return to Vulcan, please send word. The priests here will know how to reach me.

Live, long, and proper.

Syrell

"Did you know he was Syrran's son?" Trip asked T'Pol.

"He informed me just before the priest removed the katra and held the ceremony. He wished to wait for you to wake, so you could be there, but you've been sedated for 48 hours." T'Pol had the katra removed so he wouldn't have to go through the ritual and be sedated again after having just woken up. The doctors wanted his body to rest so they sedated him when he kept waking every couple of hours. After the ceremony it was necessary to keep him sedated until his mind had settled from the trauma of having the katra removed.

"Told you I wanted to sleep. And I really don't want to see the sun for a while. I think I said something about not coming back here, but I didn't mean that." His memory of the last several days was coming back.

"I said you did not have to return here. You said we had to marry here." T'Pol could arrange their marriage on Earth or even on Enterprise if she needed to.

"We do. You want a Vulcan wedding and that's what you'll get. I don't think I can live here, but I think I can handle visits, just not to the Forge or anyplace like it." Even if he couldn't visit, he'd have found a way to get here for their marriage.

"We do not have to return to Vulcan for a Vulcan wedding. There are priest on Earth and aboard many Vulcan starships."

"I'm kind of partial to the sanctuary at T'Panit. Besides your mom's here and we'll have to visit her once in a while." Trip laughed. "Although, now that she's actually been off the planet maybe she'll come visit us. Have you heard from anyone on Enterprise? How are the Captain and T'Les?"

"Everyone is fine. The captain is out of sickbay and my mother is still there." T'Pol never got a clear-cut answer as to why her mother had not returned home. She had been assigned guest quarters after leaving sickbay.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Vulcan/Human Perspective**

"You did all this for me?" Trip laid there mesmerized by the thought T'Pol had put into this. Whatever they were laying on was soft, pliable, and faded away leaving him with a sensation of floating suspended in space in the middle of the meteor shower. The meteor shower he had planned their last date around before the Vulcan ship showed up sending them to the Forge in search of T'Les. T'Pol had recorded it from every angle and now had it projected on every surface around them. This wasn't the live show he had planned, it was actually better to be surrounded by the lights dancing through space.

"I no longer find your need for romance to be frivolous or impractical." She had gone along with romantic evenings because it made him happy but once she was able to let go it also became pleasurable for her. Releasing all her tension and thinking of nothing more important than being with Trip was almost as relaxing as meditation.

"That's not a very Vulcan attitude." Trip teased her.

"It no longer matters if what we do is Vulcan or Human. If you agree it is time we embrace that idea. I would like us to start strengthening our bond, much the way a couple would on Vulcan, but here on Enterprise. We are on a starship, and we have not gone through Pon Farr, so it would not be in the traditional way, but our own unique way."

"Doesn't that mean sharing a living space?" She told him Vulcan couples moved into a house together and slowly began sharing the space. How exactly that would work, he didn't know. There wasn't much space in either of their quarters and easing into sharing such a small space would be tricky.

"It would, but with patience I think we can do this. The damage I caused has made it more difficult for me to control emotions when they are too intense or when there are too many at one time, so I need to learn new ways to adapt and control them. Our physical closeness will help me with that. We have already spent many nights together, just not on Enterprise." Spending these nights with Trip had shown her how she could overcome her lack of control, but she was apprehensive about how to explain it to Trip.

"It sounds like you've thought a lot about this, so just tell me what you need me to do." He slid his arm under her drawing her into his side. "For right now though, can you just lay here with me, watch this, and forget the rest of the world exist?"

---

"Commanders."

Trip stirred feeling T'Pol's head against his side as he opened his eyes to the loop of the meteor shower projected in the darkness. "T'Pol." He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "T'Pol."

"Trip, where's the light switch in here?" Captain Archer fumbled around trying to find the panel on the wall.

"Hang on. I think T'Pol disconnected it." Trip felt around for the device she had used to control the lights and projection equipment. "T'Pol we have company, you need to wake up." Once he felt the device in his hand and he felt her sit up, "I'm going to turn on the lights, okay?"

"Yes." T'Pol answered sleepily.

"It's really getting to be a pain trying to locate you two lately. Malcolm had to do something to the sensors to find you in here." Archer chided them while taking in their surroundings. The pair was sitting on some sort of pillowed covering he didn't recognize from anything on the ship. Trip's shoes and socks were off and they had obviously slept here together last night.

"Sorry Captain, we just wanted some privacy. I'll remove the block in the sensors." Trip had put in the block when he originally planned their date, but had forgotten about it. T'Pol would have run across it when she rigged her equipment, but had left it intact. Trip was sure she had planned on romance and rest and leaving the block ensured both.

"I wasn't aware you knew how to block the sensors. I guess it shouldn't surprise me." His chief engineer was known for putting his talents to use for subterfuge at the Academy, but that had been years ago when he was much younger and prone to sneaking out at night.

"So what's so important you had to track us down?" The captain was known for interrupting his staff during off-duty hours.

"Your shift doesn't start for an hour, but I need you to check in with Hess early. We've been ordered back to our mission, but there's some problem with the warp drive." Archer complained.

"The doc, told us to take an additional 48 hours off last night. He must have forgotten to tell you. I already talked to Hess about it, but I can go see what she needs." Trip had been checking in with Hess everyday and knew if she needed his assistance she would let him know.

Phlox had been treating Trip's symptoms, but the meds he gave him for the dehydration made the nausea worse and when he gave him something for the nausea it kept him awake. Finally, when Phlox wanted to sedate him Trip threw up his hands and made the decision to let his body heal itself with good old fashion TLC and neuropressure. He negotiated his release from sickbay by promising to follow whatever T'Pol said he needed to do. She had done an excellent job of caring for him up to this point so he saw no reason not to let her continue.

"Do I have time for a quick shower?" He didn't want to make an appearance in Engineering in clothes he'd obviously slept in.

"I'll tell Hess you'll be down in 30 minutes. Then I guess I had better check my messages." Jon turned listening to the couple as he left.

"Thank you for this I really needed the sleep." He hadn't gotten through the night with un-sedated sleep since they'd gotten to Mt. Seleya on Vulcan. "Breakfast in the observation deck in one hour?" Trip asked T'Pol.

Archer couldn't help but be amazed at the changes in T'Pol. If she'd disconnected the lights she must have arranged their evening. She was certainly becoming quite the romantic and had taken it upon herself to take care of all Trips' needs. Although from what Jon had observed recently, it wasn't one-sided. Trip took care of her, as well. This dating thing had blossomed into a full blown affair.

"Is there something you'd like chef to prepare?" T'Pol knew he usually liked eggs and toast or a variety of cereals.

"No, I'll have what you're having with one cup of coffee and a large glass of water." Phlox had given in on the coffee after Trip promised to drink extra water to make up for the dehydrating effect his favorite morning beverage had.

"You are going to eat plomeek broth and fruit for breakfast? I thought you said the broth tasted bland." If Trip ate plomeek broth, he always had chef add vegetables.

"The nausea isn't gone yet, so I'm eating plain broth and taking a vial of those nutrients your mom gave us. The doc had her get him both the Human and Vulcan formulas. Says it's better than what he had because it's condensed and I drank it without complaining." Trip smiled. Phlox had concocted an 8-ounce drink to replenish his lost nutrients that tasted awful and Trip refused to drink it. "Invite your mom to join us if you want. We can say goodbye...I mean I can say goodbye before she leaves." T'Pol would just say it had been nice to see her again when she boarded the shuttle to leave. Trip suspected any emotions attached to her leaving were being suppressed before they could influence her.

T'Pol had expected her mother to return to Vulcan as soon as the doctor released her from sickbay, but she had remained, stating she wished to spend some time with T'Pol and Trip. But T'Les hadn't spent much of her time with them. Instead, she seemed to be studying the rest of the humans. The doctor had T'Pol off-duty so she refused to allow her mother to shadow her as she had been some of the other senior staff, asking questions about their duties and as Trip and T'Pol had just learned about them. Trip had cornered T'Les in the Mess Hall to remind her of the need for discretion where their relationship was concerned. She'd almost introduced herself as his mother-in-law, which would have been disastrous as well and being untrue. When Charles pointed this out to her T'Les insisted legalities were not necessary in matters of family and as T'Pol's bondmate he was family.

---

"Mother have you enjoyed your time here?" T'Pol had shared two meals with her and one of those had been with the captain. Not wanting to interfere or make them feel as if they must entertain her, T'Les had refrained from imposing herself on her daughter or Trip. Instead, she spent time with the captain and the rest of the crew.

"I have learned much about humans. As a scientist, I should have been more aware of a species we have formed such close ties with. Spending time at the Embassy and in the human sector will be a priority now that a human has become part of our family. Have you and Charles made any plans for your future." T'Les already knew they would most likely not return to Vulcan to live. They were in the mildest, coolest part of the Vulcan year and she had seen first-hand how unbearable the heat was for him and did not wish to see him suffer daily so she could be close to her daughter. She knew T'Pol would never ask him to live in such conditions.

"There is much to learn from the humans. When our people begin to embrace the true teachings of Surak, perhaps they will become more accepting of our cultural differences. Trip and I will continue to assist if we can, but we have not made any definite plans." Some of her people had already formed close relationships of friendship with humans they interacted with, which should make the transition easier. The High Command had been disbanded and a new government formed headed by a High Council. The joint maneuvers were to go forward and the Vulcans had given their word to form an alliance with Earth and advise them instead of attempting to control them.

"We have much work ahead of us if we are to repair the damage V'Las has done to our standing in the quadrant. I plan to take a more active role in the future of Vulcan." T'Les had made many connections outside of the Academy of Science and with T'Pol's new status amongst their people, many doors would now be open to her.

"When did you become politically active mother? You never showed an interest in such things in the past." Her mother had encouraged her to work for the betterment of Vulcan, but never in such a political way.

"When I read reports of Enterprise's activities and became aware of the High Command's contempt for you and your actions. I may not have agreed with the path you had chosen, but it is your path to choose and as your mother, I choose to support you. I could no longer allow V'Las to discredit and shame you before our own people for doing what you thought was best for you and Vulcan." T'Les had been guilty of obtaining confidential reports regarding Enterprise and T'Pol from the Ministry of Security. The charges against her would have proven valid if they had ever made it before a tribunal.

"When did you become a Syrrannite?" T'Les hadn't told T'Pol she actually was a Syrrannite, but her actions of late said she wasn't just sympathetic to their cause, but believed in it.

"After P'Jem was destroyed and all the blame was placed on you. It became obvious Vulcan and the High Command were no longer following logic or Surak's teachings. So when I met T'Pau and she introduced me to Syrran I listened. Captain Archer has made the unedited versions of his Starfleet reports and the Vulcan database available to me. There is much you have not told me of your time in the Expanse and the alternate timelines you have encountered." T'Les read about the other Enterprise and her grandson and some about the Lexington. She was particularly interested in the Kir'Shara she found in the Vulcan database.

"There is much which Starfleet has classified, making it illegal for us to discuss certain things with anyone outside Starfleet. Did Captain Archer answer any questions you had?" T'Pol found it difficult still to discuss Lorian or her other self with anyone, even Trip.

T'Les could see and feel her distress. "You do not wish to discuss this other Enterprise?"

"He was our son mother and the only thing I can hold on to is the fact that we still remember him. It gives me hope that he is alive and well in his own timeline, but I will never truly know." T'Pol could feel the emotions seeping through. She had hoped the intensity would lessen over time, but that was not to be. She felt the pain of his loss as acutely today as the day it happened.

Trip took her hand in his and applied as much pressure as he was capable of. "T'Pol maybe you should go meditate for awhile." He didn't know anything else to suggest when her control slipped so far. He could offer support from anywhere, but she required solitude.

T'Pol rose from the table. "I will see you later mother." Just as she got to the doorway she turned, "Do not worry Trip. Meditation will help me."

T'Les reached out and touched the top of Trip's hand. He wasn't in the least surprised at her touch. "You can feel her through me can't you?" Trip somehow sensed she was using him to reach her daughter.

"It makes our connection slightly stronger. Does she often have difficulty with her control?" T'Les always knew T'Pol's emotions were close to the surface and required much for her to control them, but they had never been this intense.

"She'll meditate and then we'll do neuropressure later and she'll be fine. There were a couple of incidents while we were in the expanse that weakened her control, but we're handling it." T'Pol had not told her mother of her Pa'nar Syndrome or about the Trellium, so he would not betray her trust and say anything.

The young man would protect his bondmates privacy and T'Les was sure questioning him any further about T'Pol's difficulties would serve no purpose but to make him uncomfortable. "Did you meet Lorian?" T'Les wished to know of this grandson that may or may not still exist.

"Yeah. He had my blue eyes and T'Pol's ears." That brought a picture of his son to mind. "I could see my dad in his face and he laughed." That was a good memory for Trip, seeing Lorian laugh. Being both Vulcan and Human. "I hope if T'Pol and I ever have kids they grow up to be as healthy and happy as he did, minus having to captain a ship and prepare his crew to fight the Xindi, of course." Trip hadn't thought about Lorian in some time.

"I can see it also causes you pain to think of him." T'Les saw the tenseness of his brow and the faraway look in his eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. He was your grandson as much as he was our son and you have every right to be curious about him. I would have been proud to be his father." Trip voice got quieter as he tried to feel T'Pol through the bond. He had not known how Lorian's loss had affected T'Pol until today. It became clearer why she had reacted the way she had to his pressuring her about their relationship and his recriminations about not spending time with Lorian.

T'Les removed her hand and stood up, turning slightly to hide the sense of loss she felt. "I must go prepare to return home. My shuttle leaves in an hour. I will see you then."

Trip thought maybe T'Les was a little emotional too, but didn't know her well enough to be sure. "We'll be there. T'Pol really will be okay. I'll make sure of that."

"Your colleagues say that you have the utmost respect for my daughter. They say and I have observed that you care very deeply for her and I trust you will always do what is best for her." She bowed slightly and quickly left the room.

Trip watched her walk away thinking how good it felt to have her approval.

---

"Hey, Jon." Trip said absent-mindly as he walked down the corridor.

"I'm looking for T'Pol. The computer puts her in your quarters." Archer was surprised his first officer was working in Trip's room.

"Yeah, I'm on my way there." He had a tray in his hands and what Archer thought were some of T'Pol's clothes.

Jon followed Trip through the door to what he expected was Trip's bedroom.

"Have a seat." Trip pointed to what used to be a bed, but now appeared to be a couch, complete with cushions against the bulkhead. Jon sat and Trip set the tray down on the desk next to T'Pol. "There's some tea and I'll put these in the bathroom." He took the clothes into the other room. When he returned he informed her, "I restocked the towels, so you should be all set. I'll be here in two hours if that's enough time to finish your report and get cleaned up."

"That will be sufficient. I only have to make the changes we discussed and rerun the calculations. Thank you for your assistance." T'Pol drank from the cup of tea Trip had brought for her.

As the Captain watched them, he noticed the crest from T'Pol's quarters and the pictures under it. One of T'Pol and T'Les. Next to it was what Jon knew was the first picture ever taken of Trip and T'Pol together. It was on that planet where he insisted on taking all the pictures and irritated the hell out of T'Pol when he insisted she let Jon take this picture of them. He had his arm around her shoulder. It seemed strange to realize he touched her more then than he did now. And next to that picture was a picture of Trip and his family.

T'Pol sat at the desk in front of one of the computers. The other was on the other side of the desk facing her. This room was no longer being used as a bedroom. Archer was positive Trip no longer slept here. "If you're rerunning the calculations you're not done with your report?"

"I will forward the completed report to you within the hour." T'Pol answered, completely at ease and not looking away from the screen.

"Fine. We can discuss it in the morning along with the data on the planet we're approaching." Archer stood to leave. Following Trip out, "Do you have a minute?"

"Sure, follow me. We can talk at T'Pol's." It wasn't technically T'Pol's any longer, but referring to her room, any other way to Jon would make things more awkward than they already were. Trip entered the code and went inside.

Jon looked around. Some of Trip's pictures and other items were scattered around the room. "So the rumors are true? You two have moved past dating and are living together now?"

"I don't know what the rumors are. I never listen to what's going around." He'd stopped paying attention when T'Pol told him what happened between them was no one's business. If she wasn't bothered by the crew's talk, he saw no reason to be.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is my senior officers are basically cohabitating on board my ship and openly breaking the rules." Jon had hoped to avoid this situation, but here they were. Dating was one thing, but living together was completely different.

Trip took in several deep breaths to calm his nerves. "Technically we aren't breaking any rules. We're the same rank and we're not in the same chain of command." Well, that was true if you forgot the fact that T'Pol was the first officer. And Trip and T'Pol both knew Starfleet was not likely to see that as a little detail and overlook it.

"She's still the first officer. That leaves me with a decision to make. Do I see this as the Captain, follow the rules, and report this to Starfleet, which would mean a reassignment of one or both of you and maybe even a court martial. Or do I look at it as your friend and pretend I don't know what is going on?"

Trip sat down on the bed. "You do what you have to do and T'Pol and I will do what we have to do." For Jon it wasn't that simple and Trip knew it, but for him and T'Pol it was. He'd miss the crew and especially Jon but he and T'Pol needed to be together.

"Why haven't you come to talk to me about any of this? I thought we were friends, but you're making one of the most important decisions in your life and all you've told me is you're dating." Jon was hurt that Trip hadn't bothered to say a thing to him.

"I'm sorry, but there isn't much I can tell you. T'Pol's a Vulcan and they consider relationships to be very intimate and private and I won't do anything against her beliefs. And I don't want to use our friendship to provide cover for my choices. I wouldn't ever put you in that position, so we waited until you stumbled on it on your own. T'Pol and I both knew going in what could happen and we'll deal with the consequences together when we need to." If Jon knew about the particulars of their relationship, he'd have questions Trip wasn't prepared to answer. He couldn't explain the bond until he absolutely had to and then it would only be the barest of details. And how could he explain that they were doing things the way a Vulcan couple would, and then there was Pon Farr and the marriage ceremony. They shared a room and had for several weeks now, but their neuropressure sessions were more intimate than the time they spent in the bed sleeping together. Explaining they were living together, but still just dating by human standards, to Jon would be too involved and too personal; ensuring that T'Pol would always be uncomfortable around the Captain or anyone else who became aware of the details of their private life.

"You really know how to complicate things." Jon needed time to think. Lose his friend and his two best officers or extend the informal rule about it being the captain's prerogative how to handle relationships to include staying totally out of the crew's private lives aboard ship.

"Look we want to stay on Enterprise, but if we have to make a choice between being together and being in Starfleet it's not really a hard choice to make." Trip had decided this the minute he admitted he was in love with T'Pol and T'Pol told him her choice had been made when she chose him as her mate.

"You'd resign?" Jon hadn't expected that. He wasn't sure about T'Pol but Trip had wanted to be in space long before he joined Starfleet. "Are you sure about this?"

Trip shook his head 'yes'. "We both would. She's more important to me than anything else. If we can't serve together in Starfleet, we'll find some other way to be out here." Trip couldn't live on Vulcan and T'Pol had no desire to, but they might be able to serve aboard a Vulcan ship together. They were both adaptable, which gave them other options if it came to that. They'd already considered the planets and species who'd have no problem offering them a place, as a couple, on a ship if they were available. They had 1-2 years before they were to be married and officially would have to leave Starfleet if they managed to stay until then. However, no one needed to know that until the time arrived.

"I guess I never thought of you as anything, but an engineer in Starfleet. T'Pol feels the same way?" He'd been handed an ultimatum. He was sure Trip wouldn't see it that way, especially since he'd gone out of his way to avoid putting Jon in this position. Archer either reported them and lost them both or let them continue as they were and disobeyed the rules himself. Starfleet would get wind of this eventually and he'd have to plead ignorance and hope Starfleet didn't press the issue.

"Yes. There's no going back." Trip was still amazed when he said the words outloud. They were together and would be forever. This whole conversation was going smoother than he had thought it would, but he needed to get going. "I don't mean to rush you, but I have to get cleaned up. T'Pol and I are celebrating tonight and then we have plans with Hoshi and Malcolm and I don't want to be late."

"You've never told me what's so special about this date. We've toasted it together for two years now, but I still don't know why it's so important to you. Tomorrow's the anniversary of when we left space dock the first time, but I never understood celebrating the first day you came on board." Jon had looked for Trip earlier to see about his annual toast. It looked like he'd be toasting to whatever it was with T'Pol this year.

Trip toasted this day the first year out by himself, with no clear idea of why. But he knew why by year two. It was the day he met T'Pol and by then she had become important to his staying sane. Their friendship was beginning to grow and now he recognized this day four years ago as the day T'Pol took up residence in his heart and head, without his knowledge and began to forever change who he was and what was important to him. He couldn't explain it to Jon when he didn't understand it himself and he hadn't even told T'Pol why they were celebrating this date, yet. She was just beginning to appreciate birthdays as days to celebrate. Vulcans acknowledged birthdays only as a way to mark how long they had been alive, but found no reason to make the day special. Anniversaries didn't exist; all that mattered was that mates married not how long or on what day. Trip wished there were historical records of the time on Vulcan between the period of violence and destruction and the time when logic and Surak's teachings had brought about suppression of all emotions. He suspected the records had been purposely lost or destroyed, probably by V'Las, because there could be no other reason that no books or files existed for several hundreds years of Vulcan's past. He wanted to know if there had ever been a time when Vulcans were sentimental about anything. Teaching T'Pol about these things presented a challenge because she often didn't feel the emotions attached to them by humans and his weren't strong enough to penetrate the bond, yet.

Jon wouldn't ever put it together. "It's just special to me."

Moving to the door Jon stopped and said, "One last question - If I ask you to back up and be a little more discreet is that going to be a problem?" Jon may need to ask them return to separate quarters and hide things to keep Starfleet from becoming aware of their relationship.

"We could do that, but why? It's not like the crew doesn't already know. Nothing would change, except we'd be trying to pretend, but there's no way I can pretend I don't feel the way I do. I wouldn't even if I could and I don't think T'Pol would want to either. We keep to ourselves most of the time and you'll never see more in public than you do now. We promise to keep our personal life out of our professional life. If that's a problem then let us know and we'll decide what to do from there." Trip knew he sounded like he was unwilling to bend here and he guessed he was. "As our captain we understand you have to do what you see as your duty, as our friend we hope you understand we're just trying to make the best possible life we can together under the circumstances."

"You're right about the crew. They know. I've noticed a few couples holding hands in the corridors since you and T'Pol started." They were all being less sneaky about their relationships, he assumed because they thought if Trip and T'Pol were openly dating then the captain wasn't going to enforce the no-fraternization rules. Fortunately, none of the couples had gone beyond holding hands so far. "Hiding and sneaking around isn't going to prevent Starfleet getting wind of this on a ship this size. It might actually make it worse by creating more rumors." Trip wasn't very good at lying, never had been, and Jon knew it wasn't a skill he would want to develop now.

Archer left. Trip stood in the shower contemplating what Jon might do. He would either call them both into his ready room to inform them he'd made a report to Starfleet or he wouldn't bring it up again unless their relationship became a professional issue. The problem was Trip wasn't confident about which choice Jon would make.

---

"You are very relaxed after your talk with the captain." T'Pol waited hoping he would bring up the subject, but he hadn't.

"What's to be upset about? We knew this day was coming. All we can do is wait and see what Jon decides." Trip wasn't going to worry about it until he had to and even then, worry wasn't the right word. It could mean changes, but he was getting pretty adept at accepting that things didn't always work out the way you planned or wanted. Their mission and T'Pol had taught him that. "Jon will either file a report with Starfleet or say nothing at all."

"That is a very Vulcan attitude for you to have." T'Pol teased him.

"Funny how rational I can be sometimes?" Trip laughed at how crazy it was that he was so calm about something that could be so monumental to his life.

"So we're celebrating the day we met**."**

"Turns out it was the single most important day in my life. Some part of me recognized that fact and I've been toasting this day since." Trip laid his chin on her shoulder and held her close to him.

"I did not know you were aware of your attraction to me then." Although their time in decon might be considered proof of just that.

"It wasn't a conscious thing, but some part of me knew. I wouldn't have admitted it even if I had known it then though. I still didn't know you well enough and I didn't think Vulcans had relationships. The whole arranged marriages thing with no contact until after the marriage, made me assume you wouldn't go out with me."

"A toast to today is fine, but Hoshi told me human women love to celebrate all these special days but men are terrible at remembering them because they think they are silly and don't like to be romantic." T'Pol saw no reason to make a special day to be romantic. She had just come to like the idea of romance and found the spontaneous nature of one or the other planning their dates as much more enjoyable.

"That may be one thing Hoshi got kind of right. Some men, not all, hate Valentine's Day and all the anniversaries some women come up with. I always thought they were stupid because too many guys focused on those days and forgot about the rest of the year. I know you don't get them so I promise no more special days until we get married. Birthdays are it for days to remember, okay? I'd much rather plan according to how I feel and not by what day it is on the calendar." Not having a bunch of dates to keep track of was fine with Trip. He'd been toasting this day on his own or with Jon and he could continue on his own next year.

"I agree." T'Pol had watched the goings on last February and could not believe how much time and energy the women on board poured into that one day.

"Maybe I should ask Hoshi about some of those rules and dating tips she gave you." Trip had almost forgotten about them.

"Do not embarrass her in front of Malcolm. They have just started dating and she would be very upset if you said or did anything to make him think less of her." It had taken too long for Malcolm to ask her out and Hoshi seemed to be enjoying their time together, so T'Pol did not want Trip to do anything to come between them.

"I wouldn't do that. Malcolm dating Hoshi has been a blessing for everybody who has to work with him. He's still a pain when it comes to his weapons, but he's a little less obsessed with work lately." Trip hadn't seen a request for a modification for the tactical system or armory in two weeks and that was a record he'd very much like to see extended.

"You need to set up the table and I will go to the Mess Hall and get the drinks." T'Pol kissed his cheek as she left.

T'Pol returned with a tray full of drinks. "Do you remember how to play?" Trip hadn't played Euchre since the Academy. He'd suggested it only after Hoshi suggested poker. Once Malcolm learned of her floating poker game during her Academy days he realized Hoshi would probably clean the floor with the two of them in a poker game and went along with Trip's suggestion.

"Yes, I read through your rules again and I have played several games with the computer." T'Pol had thought the game was pointless, but it was how humans interacted with other couples, so she was determined to learn. Having fun baffled her and her need to control and suppress her emotions wouldn't allow her to be excited or happy or whatever else it was humans felt when having fun. Vulcan games were meant to teach one something, so she approached it that way. She saw this as an exercise in learning to read Trip and become a better team. The game had a certain element of luck because of the 'kitty' but there was also an element of skill and that meant she had to depend on her partner and learn to follow his reasoning and find the best way to assist him.

"Are you going to play Mal or should we find something else to do why you make up your mind?" Trip chided Malcolm who seemed to be taking this game extremely seriously.

"It is only a game, is it not, Lieutenant?" Trip had warned T'Pol that games could bring out the competitor in some people and as far as she could tell Malcolm was one of them.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do your best." Malcolm responded laying his card down.

When T'Pol trumped Mal's ace of spades the dynamic of the game suddenly changed. Not only was Malcolm's competitive edge showing, but T'Pol began to show signs of wanting to beat him. Trip watched her gaze as she studied Malcolm before starting the next round. Trip thought he caught a flicker in her expression when Malcolm called spades trump, but told himself he was imagining things. He'd wanted to wipe that smug expression off his face and wanted nothing more than to stop him from winning this game, which would give he and Hoshi a win for the night. If what he now suspected was true T'Pol would lead with a heart, as he had thrown off on the suit the last time it was lead, to draw out any trump cards he may be able to use to assist her defensive play. When the ace of hearts hit the table, he smiled to himself. T'Pol was letting a competitive side out to play and he hadn't known it existed. She was challenging Malcolm and Trip had no doubt she had worked out every possible variation. Looking at Hoshi, Trip had reason to believe she had also.

"You were right Trip, she's a quick study." Malcolm commented as he contemplated his series of plays.

Trip felt it then. She wasn't acting on her emotions she was acting on his. He could feel her delight at being able to do this for him. No, it was more than that. She wanted to do this with him.

"It's luck and probabilities Malcolm. That's why I told you T'Pol and Hoshi shouldn't be partners, they both have an uncanny ability to see mathematical patterns in anything. And once T'Pol feels comfortable with her understanding of all the rules, we wouldn't stand a chance." Neither man was stupid, but these two women both were problem solvers and used their mathematical skills and looked for patterns in data to do their jobs.

"Looks like she thinks she understands the rules and can stop me. Surprising she didn't go it alone." Malcolm was confident he had the tricks he needed.

Trip played his nine of spades. "She needed my help, buddy. Now we just need to see if I was able to provide it." They all held their breaths waiting for Malcolm's card. If he didn't have a heart, the game was over. He laid down the ten of hearts, giving the second trick to Trip and T'Pol. Trip was sure T'Pol had figured out how to get another from him and he was just as sure that if Vulcans smiled she would have a smile of satisfaction on her face right now.

"Hoshi you're supposed to be my partner, not cheering the competition on." Malcolm complained watching Hoshi smile as T'Pol took the trick and euchred him.

T'Pol reached under the table to make a connection with Trip's fingers. Taking in his elation that Malcolm's glow of self-satisfaction was gone and that she had found a way to enjoy this game by making him happy. There was this warmth passing through him. This was better than actually seeing her smile; he could feel it.

"It's a game Malcolm and it's nice to see T'Pol enjoying this in her own unique Vulcan way." Hoshi had begun to see that T'Pol did have emotions. She also suspected all Vulcans did, but some were just better at hiding them. T'Pol usually had no expression on her face, except for a slight upturn at the edges of her mouth occasionally, but her eyes were becoming very expressive if one paid close attention. Watching the silent interaction between Trip and T'Pol convinced her there was more going on with her than anyone but Trip was able to perceive. Hoshi had begun to see there was more to Trip Tucker than met the eye. The open, what you see is what you get; southerner was no longer as open. In fact, he was very much like T'Pol when it came to his personal life lately. He would openly say he and T'Pol had a relationship, but would not define or answer any questions about it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Correcting Refractive Errors**

"Tucker to Enterprise."

"Trip we've lost you on sensors. Are you alright?" Archer asked with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, we're fine, but the shuttle took a beating. Communications are about the only thing working." Trip reached across trying to turn off the proximity alarm that seemed to be stuck on. "We were flying along fine and then we dropped like a rock, straight down into this ravine. T'Pol's trying to get sensors back online, but it looks like it could be a while." Trip hadn't had time to assess the damage in detail, but what he'd seen told him it must be extensive.

"Check in every three hours, just to let us know you're okay. Hoshi says it'll be dark there soon. They have short days and long nights." The shuttle didn't have extra lights for working at night, because Malcolm and the captain said they took up too much space in the lockers.

"Why didn't anybody mention that before we left?" Trip snapped back rather angrily. He would have requisitioned a different set of supplies and insisted on something bigger than a flashlight, if he'd known.

"You were only supposed to be down there for an hour. Fly down, get a sample of the ore, and fly back." Archer knew Trip would be pissed because a lack of information left them unprepared. Archer was not happy because they were supposed to watch the western division water polo finals tonight.

"Yeah, and we all know how the best laid plans work." He could count the number of missions that had played out anywhere near the way they were supposed to on two maybe three fingers.

"Sorry. Briefings need to provide more for the unexpected and maybe we'll take another look at the supplies we have on the shuttles." Archer made a lame attempt at appeasing his chief engineer.

They'd had this discussion before and Archer always disagreed with him. Trip saw no use in having the same argument that would only achieve the same results. "Captain, if it's going to get dark here we have a few things we need to take care of. Tucker out." Trip slapped the comm off, turned and headed outside.

"What would you like to do first?" T'Pol asked wanting to get him moving before his foul mood could take him over completely.

"How long before sunset and do we know how cold it gets here at night?" They'd need to decide if they would sleep in the shuttle or in the tent.

"I believe the temperature will be adequate for sleeping outside in the tent." She knew this would appease him somewhat. "The data Hoshi sent estimates the days are 6 hours long."

"Great. I'll go gather some wood for a fire, if you'll get the tent and other supplies out. We can set up camp when I get back." Looking off to the horizon Trip saw that the sun was setting already and he didn't have much time to find the wood they'd need.

"Only if you promise to leave this Trip out there in the woods." T'Pol pointed to the trees while closing the distance between them. Spending her evening with an angry, frustrated Trip was not something she wanted to do.

He took a few deep breaths. This wasn't her fault and he shouldn't be taking it out on her. "I'm sorry. I really should look at this as time spent alone with you off the ship." Trip pulled her into his chest and kissed her. "I'm declaring us officially off-duty and while I'm getting the wood I promise to get into a better mood." That shouldn't be too difficult. A day or two on a planet with T'Pol and no crew, no captain, and few if any interruptions really sounded like heaven.

T'Pol soon heard wood hitting the ground around the camp as Trip threw it out of the woods. His way of gathering wood quickly and dealing with his bad mood.

--

"T'Pol, are you going to tell me what you're up to or am I just supposed to lay here and let you do whatever it is you have in mind?" There was something very different about the amount of pressure she applied and the location of her fingers this evening. He turned over sensing she had finished their neuropressure session for the evening.

T'Pol eyed him for several seconds. "I hadn't planned on discussing it because you tend to get embarrassed when we talk about certain topics."

Trip rolled his eyes at her. That told him the topic. "I stopped being embarrassed about my state of arousal around you about the same time I figured out why you wanted me to stop hiding it from you." T'Pol was adapting to his emotions while he was aroused during neuropressure.

"When did you become aware of this?" T'Pol hadn't known he knew why.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I wish you'd told me you needed to sense my emotions so you could get used to them. It would have made things so much easier for me." He breathed in relaxing the pounding in his chest. "Are you doing all this because you think I want it or because you want it too?" He wished he understood how her mind worked. He didn't understand his own and from what she'd told him and what he'd been able to comprehend from his own understanding of their bond hers would take years to figure out.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. If you're doing this, just because you think I want it then it stops now. If you want this too then I'll do whatever you need me to do." Putting her through all this wasn't worth it if she didn't want it too.

"I wish us to have a normal life together."

"Normal like humans or normal like Vulcans? And when has anything ever been normal about us?" This was nothing like any relationship he'd ever had and he didn't want normal, he wanted T'Pol.

"Normal may not have been the right word." T'Pol tried to think what it was that she wished to say. "Do you think I do not wish to be with you?" If he really thought she didn't desire him then she had hidden her feelings too well.

"I don't know. I thought Vulcans only had sex during Pon Farr, but then after I thought about it I started to wonder what that spending a year together is all about? If you strengthen the bond doesn't that also strengthen the emotions between you, which should lead to wanting to express those emotions?" Trip had spent hours talking his way around this since that sponge bath she gave him on Vulcan.

"Vulcans do not discuss bonds or their mates, but I believe my parents had a strong bond and sexual relations outside of Pon Farr. There must be others who do also." T'Les would never speak of her bond with T'Pol's father, but T'Pol had observed them together when they thought she was elsewhere and all Vulcans were taught about sexual matters, but no one discussed anything beyond the mechanics of the act. "Dr. Phlox says my brain will learn to adapt to these emotions and then we will be able to have the physical relationship that we both desire." He had given her a thorough explanation of how the brain functioned when she was sitting with Trip before his brain surgery and again when he became aware of all the damage to her neural pathways.

"Can we leave Phlox out of this? The doctor and sex together just isn't going to have the desired effect here." He wasn't sure which was worse - having that old Vulcan in his head or thinking about Phlox while trying to be sexual with T'Pol. "Then if we both want ...I can do this. If you're trying to take on my emotions during sex then we don't need to talk about it. I might be a little slow sometimes, but I think I can figure it out."

"You're not embarrassed?" T'Pol wasn't completely sure he truly understood what steps were necessary for her to adapt to his strongest emotions.

"It's not embarrassment. I'm not sure what to call it. When I was a kid my mom would catch me, swat at me, and tell me that was something, I should only do in private in my room or the bathroom. She never really said anything that made me feel bad, but somehow you get the idea that there's something not quite right about it. You grow up and you know there's nothing wrong with it, it's normal, but there's that little voice in the back of your head."

"I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. We can find a different way." T'Pol didn't know what that might be, but they could try to find some other way.

"How T'Pol? There isn't another way for you to experience my emotions is there? It's not like I haven't had sex before. Hell, we've had sex before. It's just I've never done this with someone else. It's something most people do alone and in private and it might be a little weird at first, but I'll get over it." Trip lifted himself up towards her, placing his hands on her face gently kissing her. He then moved her off his abdomen and laid her down next to him.

T'Pol placed one hand over his, snuggled as close as she could, and prepared herself for the onslaught of emotions and sensations that would overtake her.

--

"Are you alright?" He'd felt her emotions begin to engulf her when his release finally came. She had maintained contact but had moved her hand away and now she was trying to move the rest of her body away from him. "Don't let go of me. Let me help you." Trip pulled her closer and tightened his grip on her. He hadn't said anything, but the more skin-to-skin contact there was between them the more he could feel from her. And he had no intention of letting go until this storm inside her had quieted.

T'Pol breathed deeply, concentrating on pushing at the emotions, one by one, trying to suppress them. The fear engulfed her still. The agitation and frustration went away, then the fear eased up to something manageable, and the last to go was her own desire. After several more minutes. "I will need to meditate before I go to sleep, but I do not feel afraid anymore." If she didn't meditate, the nightmares would come. Nightmares so real she had feared losing control and causing some physical or emotion injury to Trip.

"That's what it feels like with only my emotions?" It started out feeling good, but turned into something terrifying. No wonder she'd pushed him away. If that had happened to him he'd have run as far and as fast as he could. His emotions and physical sensations triggered hers and the strongest of those always became fear.

"I did not block all my emotions from you like I have previously." The doctor was the only other being she had allowed to see the terror she felt when her emotions overwhelmed her. She had had no choice with Phlox but she had kept them from Trip to spare him sharing her fear. Now she needed his help to 'learn to live with her emotions' as Phlox had said she must.

"No more keeping these emotions from me. I know it's scary, but I think I can help if you let me." It was scary, but it was also exhilarating in a way. He'd felt some of T'Pol's passion and desire. She usually kept everything blocked from him, but not tonight. Knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her made all the difference.

"This is the first time I have suppressed these emotions this quickly. It usually takes me many hours of meditation and neuropressure." They hadn't been as intense as in the past and having Trip here should allow her to sleep without nightmares. The physical sensations were suppressed automatically after years of training her body to do so, unless she consciously prevented this from taking place.

"Why did you use the trellium, T'Pol?" Trip had given this much thought, but wanted her to confirm what he believed to be the reason.

"I wished to feel emotions like humans do. Like you do. Dr. Phlox says I failed to realize that once you 'let the genie out of the bottle' you can't always put her back in. He has determined that I will never be able control my emotions like I could before." Phlox had been sympathetic, but he was also a realist. He told her she couldn't expect to force a physiological change in her brain without serious consequences. In order to feel emotions the control centers Vulcans trained to suppress emotions would have to be made less functional. What she hadn't considered was that this control didn't operate like a switch one could turn on or off. "My brain has created some new pathways to replace the damaged areas much the way your brain created new neural tissue after your transplant, but it cannot repair the damage to other areas." Tolaris and Pa'nar Syndrome, Silik, Rajiin, the expanse, and Trellium D had all taken their toll on her and the damage was to extensive to be completely repaired. But she could learn new techniques and restore her control.

"Could my surgery be the reason we formed this bond?" Trip wondered, often, if the rewiring of his brain after he was given Sim's neural tissue made it possible for he and T'Pol to bond.

"Sim may have sped up the process, first by telling me of your possible feelings for me and then when your brain was healing it may have allowed you to accept the bond more readily without being aware it existed. I was attracted to you, but I did not know of your attraction to me until Sim spoke to me. From things, you have said I believe the initial bond had already formed by then, but we were unaware because of the Xindi and everything else that happened in the Expanse. It was strengthened the night we were together, which would not have happened if Sim's words hadn't kept haunting me when I became jealous of Amanda Cole's advances toward you." T'Pol remembered how Sims words kept coming back to her after she first observed the corporal expressing an interest in Trip. "From then on the bond began to pull us together more forcefully, even though I was afraid and tried to deny it." She had tried to deny her feelings and avoid him, but she would never have been able to forget him or mate with another, especially if what she suspected about the bond was true.

"I've never really resolved my feelings about Sim. Maybe I never will, but I am thankful for what he did for me, for us." Sim saved his life twice. Once by giving him part of his brain and then by giving him T'Pol.

T'Pol had always been more emotional than other Vulcans. Trip didn't see that when they first met, but once he learned to read her body language and eyes he could see the emotional side of her. "Would we be together if you hadn't used the Trellium?"

"I believe it would have taken much longer for me to admit to my feelings for you, but I think I would have eventually had no choice because I have never been able to suppress them as I should. I think the neuropressure, our friendship and our feelings for one another, started our bond and would have forced us to come together." Their being together was inevitable on several levels T'Pol had concluded. Vulcans arranged their marriages so did not believe in searching for the perfect mate, but T'Pol had begun to question whether it was better to find someone more suited to you rather than marry a stranger you were bonded to as a child.

Trip sat bolt-upright still holding T'Pol in his arms. "Okay, if I'd heard that earlier I'd have just thought I was being paranoid. Could you hand me my uniform." Trip reached over T'Pol.

She had been deep in thought. "It was probably just an animal." There was wildlife on the planet, but most of the species on sensors near here were no bigger than a medium-sized dog.

Whatever it was it had flown over them and Trip didn't remember anything about birds in the report he'd read. "If you say so but just in case I'd like my clothes." Trip had set up the perimeter sensors Malcolm had insisted become part of the standard gear on an away mission. He was going to sit down with Malcolm when they got back and design his own personal pack with all those items he'd thought should be on the shuttle. Lights being first on the list.

Trip slipped on his blues and stuck his leg into his jumpsuit. Bam! The tremors said something slammed hard into the ground south of them. Then came the faint sound of metal scrapping against a hard surface, which sent a high-pitched squeal through the still night air. "We aren't late contacting Enterprise are we?" That sure sounded a lot like their earlier landing. Their comm units were in the shuttle and if they hadn't contacted the ship on time and then not responded to hails the captain might have sent the other shuttle down.

"No. Our next check-in is one hour and 12 minutes from now." T'Pol answered, while checking her tricorder and heading to the shuttle to retrieve a communicator while Trip located a flashlight. Muttering under his breath the whole time that he should have put it closer to the fire so he could find it.

"That sure sounded like a shuttle." Trip flashlight in one hand and his phase pistol in the other surveyed around the perimeter looking for signs of movement in the trees. Let's finish getting dressed and go see what's out there." For the first time Trip saw that, there was no moon, no stars, nothing but pitch black. Their fire had provided light, so he hadn't paid attention before.

T'Pol pointed the tricorder south. "There are faint readings several kilometers in that direction." T'Pol's hand indicated they had to go through the densest part of the woods. Her eyes were already moving trying to find a way around it.

"Several kilometers? You're usually a lot more precise than that." T'Pol always extended her calculations out to the nth degree, even though he and Captain Archer had told her it served no purpose to be that precise.

"There is much interference in the sensor readings. That is as precise as I can be." T'Pol seemed agitated.

She always took her duty so seriously. "I'm teasing." Trip laughed a little. "But maybe you could give me a range."

"More than 2 less than 10." T'Pol didn't think this was all that helpful, but told him anyway.

Ten miles was a lot of territory to cover in the dark. "I liked several kilometers better. It didn't sound so far away."

"T'Pol to Enterprise."

"Archer here. Are you alright? Sensors picked up a small ship or shuttle landing several kilometers south of you."

"We are headed there now. It sounded like it crashed much like our shuttle did." T'Pol watched Trip's hand signals as he walked ahead of her.

"Be careful and let us know what you find. Archer out."

"I can hear Jon now. We've already missed the finals for tonight and now it looks like we'll have to put it off a while longer." Trip watched water polo because Jon loved it. He'd never seen a game before they became friends and doubted he'd ever watch a game if he were on his own. But once Jon explained the more intricate rules he'd learned to at least like it and actually found a team or two to follow.

"He'll survive. It will give him something to look forward to." T'Pol had watched one game and decided she didn't understand it. But at least the participants appeared to get some physical exercise from the endeavor.

"I'm just glad it's the finals. Now maybe I can get him out of his ready room and into the gym or rec room. I've been trying to get him to do things with Malcolm and Travis or some of the other guys like he did before the expanse. Right now I seem to be the only one he spends any time with, except the nights he has dinner with you and I." Trip didn't have the free time he used to and it was tiring being the only person Jon depended on for social and recreational time.

T'Pol shot her arm out across his chest stopping him from moving forward. "There are two lifesigns in this direction." She headed to their right, shining her light a few feet ahead of them.

"That's closer than 2 kilometers." Trip took the tricorder from her. The readings were jumping around.

Trip handed the device back to her. "It appears to be a large canyon with mineral deposits that may be causing the sensors to malfunction." T'Pol made several adjustments to the tricorder attempting to fine-tune the sensitivity.

"So how do we approach them?" Their flashlights would be beacons in this darkness and all the effort they could put forth wasn't going to make their movements quiet when they couldn't see the ground right in front of them because they needed the limited light to see what was farther ahead.

"It's a male and a female." T'Pol continued listening to what she could hear of their conversation.

"T'Pol are you doing something different?" There was a strong buzz-like sensation in the back of his head similar to the sensation that he knew to be T'Pol.

"Different how?"

"The bond. Are you doing something through the bond?" Trip tried to shut it out.

T'Pol centered herself. There it was. Trip not being accustomed to others in his mind had felt it before she had. "No, but I feel it also. They must be bondmates."

"I can feel their bond T'Pol. How is that possible?" Feeling her in his head was great, but all these other Vulcans dropping by was getting to be a problem.

"Because you are bonded to me your brain must be accessing regions you are unaccustomed to using. It is similar to knowing when a Vulcan is un-bonded. They will also sense our bond." Which meant the pair knew they were not alone.

"What is that when it changes? It's almost like the frequency changes?" It almost felt like there was static in the line. This was like learning a completely new language that few other people even heard.

"That indicates they are communicating telepathically. Fully bonded mates are able to converse without words. It also means they have sensed our presence." That was the only explanation for the pair to have stopped speaking aloud. T'Pol rechecked the sensors. One of the lifesigns was moving in their direction.

"You mean we'll be able to talk to each other in our heads?" Trip determined he might need to ask a few more questions about this bond. He'd been content to let it develop slowly, but every time he learned something new, it made him a little more curious. Being bonded to T'Pol was the best thing ever and he wouldn't change a thing, so should he find out what to expect or let it unfold day to day and continue to see it as the best of his adventures?

T'Pol whispered to him. "Yes. After the ritual for sure, possibly before." They didn't have time to discuss this now. "The male is coming this way. He is approximately 500 feet away."

"He is closer than that and he is unarmed." The male voice came out of the darkness moving closer. The Vulcan stopped. "I will stay right here until you can determined I am of no threat to you."

"He's unarmed, but his mate may not be. The tricorder is not working reliably enough to depend on these readings at these distances." T'Pol kept working trying to get more accurate readings.

"I can have her come closer if that would aid your assessment. Several of our systems are down and we could use your assistance. We have little experience or knowledge to repair our ship." The Vulcan male told them.

T'Pol continued to whisper. "We should..."

T'Pol smiled and shook his head at his mate. "T'Pol I think you can stop whispering, he has that super Vulcan hearing too. I'm going to ask him to get his mate. I really would like to get up out of here and we need to contact Enterprise soon." Trip's knees hurt from crawling around on these rocks.

"Enterprise? Is there a ship nearby?" The Vulcan asked.

T'Pol tried to stop Trip from answering, but was too late.

"Yes, now could you ask your mate to come over here? We just need to make sure she's unarmed."

The male turned toward his ship. "T'Ana, join us."

The Vulcan female moved to join her mate. "I am Jaran and that is my wife T'Ana. We entered the atmosphere of this planet and then were dropped into this canyon. Our ship is damaged and we are unable to repair it."

"I'm Commander Tucker and this is Commander T'Pol. Where were you going?" Trip asked. Why would these two Vulcans be out here in a ship they knew nothing about?

"We are looking for a place to settle, but have not yet found a suitable home." T'Ana now stood next to her mate.

"You somehow acquired a ship and just climbed in and took off for parts unknown with no one onboard who can do repairs?" And people said he was impetuous. He was all for adventure and had been guilty of leaping before he looked, but damn who flies off into space in a ship you don't even know how to keep flying.

"Do you wish to stand out here discussing this or would it not be better to join us? We need to make preparations for the night." It was obvious nothing was going to be repaired in the dark, so Jaran wished to get set up for the night.

"They have no weapons." T'Pol informed Trip.

Trip stood and offered his hand to T'Pol who took it without thinking. She immediately let it go once she was standing. Her reaction startled Trip a little, but he didn't let it show. He would have to follow T'Pol's lead here. He felt self-conscious for the first time about their relationship, not knowing how much to say to these strangers. "Let's follow them to their camp and you should contact the captain."

T'Pol took up the rear in an effort to protect Trip if there was any trouble. She had given up trying to curb his trusting nature. It had been tempered by their experiences, but he still tried to give everyone 'the benefit of a doubt', as he put it. Seeing what he was like after the Xindi attacked Earth, she did not wish to lose that part of him again so she let him be and did what she could to keep him safe.

"T'Pol to Enterprise."

"Archer here. Did you find the ship?"

"Yes. A small ship became trapped in the atmosphere and crash-landed in a canyon about 1.8 kilometers from our shuttle. There are two occupants. A married Vulcan couple who say they require our assistance for repairs." T'Pol was suspicious. The ship appeared to be an older Vulcan ship used to transport emergency supplies to starships. Obtaining a ship at all was difficult on Vulcan and meant one or both of them of their families had to have had some connection to the High Command.

"Sounds like you have things under control, but I'll bet Trip's upset about not having enough light to work at night. You've got six or seven more hours before daylight, so you should both try to get some sleep. Check in again in 3 hours. Archer out."

T'Pol stood back watching Trip and Jaran enter the ship. The captain was right. Trip had been upset, but changed his mind when he realized it meant time totally alone with T'Pol. Now that they had company he'd become obsessed with repairs and his mood might change again.

Trip returned carrying what looked like searchlights. "Well, he may not know how to repair his ship, but he has whatever he might need to do it in there. Jaran says we can use these so we can repair the shuttle." From what Trip was able to see, they had everything they might need in an emergency and all the tools and parts to repair their ship, but no knowledge or manuals so they couldn't make use of any of it.

"You require sleep before you begin working on repairs." He'd been awake for almost 20 hours and while he had worked with less sleep in the past during emergencies, T'Pol did not see this as an emergency.

Getting used to T'Pol's protectiveness was getting easier. She had always looked out for him and kept after him about sleep, citing her duty as first officer, but now she acted as his mate and simply informed him of what he needed to do. It was pointless to argue because if he didn't comply she would just wait until they were in a professional situation, pull rank, and order him to follow her directives. "I will get some sleep, but the days are too short and we need to be able to work when it's dark." Trip, juggling the lights he held, started walking back to their camp.

T'Pol shined her flashlight ahead of them and held Trip's arm to keep him from stumbling over the rocks. "We're you able to assess the damage to the ship?"

"The impulse engine seems fine. And their sensors seem to be working, but the warp drive is down. We'll see if their sensors can tell us what caused the problem. They have no communications, but from the looks of the panel that may have been out before, they crashed. How would they get their hands on an old Vulcan ship? They don't strike me as the types who could buy something like that from the Orions." The Orions had most anything one could want for sale, but it wasn't as if you could just search them out and purchase a starship.

"The ship was obtained on Vulcan, but I do not know how this was accomplished. We will need time to discover what they are hiding and you must be careful about what you reveal until we have some answers." Distrust of Vulcans had come much easier to T'Pol in recent months.

"I promise to be careful. I won't bring up anything about Vulcan or us. I still don't know what's acceptable to talk about with Vulcans as far as personal stuff, so I'll leave that to you. If they can't repair their own ship they wouldn't understand our technology anyway, so I think I'm safe there, but I'll still be careful." They usually ran into Vulcans on starships out in space, so the standard Starfleet protocols applied, but there was no protocol for regular Vulcan citizens.

---

Trip laid there holding T'Pol. He tilted his head down to watch her sleep. 'Why was it that every time she insisted he required sleep he ended up laying there wide awake with her sleeping peacefully at his side.'

While she meditated he contemplated the Vulcan couple, Jaran and T'Ana. From what Jaran had said the pair had defied their parents and bonded. After a year and a half of trying to make things work on Vulcan the couple somehow obtained their ship and fled Vulcan in search of a place to belong in one of the many settlements around the quadrant.

Trip had met enough Vulcans to know they were all standoffish and cold when you first came into contact with them, but T'Ana reminded him of that Vulcan captain who sat at Captain Archer's table and showed nothing but disdain for Archer and all humans. T'Ana made Trip's first interactions with Soval seem pleasant.

When she laid down with him he'd asked T'Pol about T'Ana.

"Is it me or does T'Ana seem a little put off by me?" He'd noticed she stayed opposite of wherever he was at all times. Like she was afraid he might accidentally come into contact with her. It reminded him of his playground days when the girls declared all the boys had 'cooties' and made a point of avoiding them.

"She does not approve of our bond. It is not only you she avoids." T'Pol had made a point of ignoring her. He did find it odd that the couple had defied tradition themselves yet T'Ana was passing judgment on T'Pol's choices.

Trip could see the disapproval in T'Pol's eyes when she considered the Vulcan female. "I'll just have to keep my distance and maybe she'll warm up to us." Trip was doubtful. From what he'd seen she was cold and distant to her husband also. What Jaran saw in her he couldn't imagine, but there must be something because he'd chosen her over his parents wishes.

---

"Malcolm try it again." Trip yelled over the noise of the machinery.

"It's not going to move Commander. We've got to rig this different." Malcolm tried again to make the pulley system Trip had set up work, but it was no use. He looked up to see the Commander laughing. "Something funny?" He shouted up to the walkway.

Trip stood absolutely still, laughing. The sensation in his feet was beginning to overpower his ability to hold the laughter in. Then it hit him. T'Pol, he could feel her nearby. He turned around almost 360˚ before he saw her standing near the door to the bay, watching him.

"It's nothing. Something just tickled me." He knew Malcolm wouldn't take it literally, but T'Pol had tickled his feet. It had to be her, and she knew he would know it was her, because no one else knew his feet were ticklish. He smiled. T'Pol hadn't been in the best of moods for a couple of days now, so it was good to see her letting her control lapse just a little. "Let's call it a night. I'll work this out later and we can try again in the morning." In order to place the engine back into Jaran's ship they needed to raise it at an angle, but the pulley system he put together wouldn't operate with that much weight at this distance at the angle they needed. He'd have to figure out how to raise it partway up and then angle it into the ship.

Malcolm followed Trip's gaze. "I didn't know Commander T'Pol was here." From the look on Trip's face she had turned his attention from work to something more pleasurable just by being there. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Trip raised his fingers to let T'Pol know he needed five more minutes.

"You're with T'Pol, living together, and not that T'Pol would ever show it but for a Vulcan she seems happy to me. What's your secret? How do you keep from getting bored?"

"You're bored with Hoshi already?" Trip couldn't believe it. He'd figured out the Brit had commitment issues when he'd listen to him recite a form letter to all those girls when he thought he was a dead man, but now he could see Malcolm knew even less than he did about relationships.

"No, but it's different on the ship than it was when we were on leave. How do you and T'Pol manage to keep things interesting on a starship?"

"Do you care about her or is this just a fling?" If he wasn't serious about her then Trip wasn't sure he wanted to help him.

"I don't know. I've never bothered to try with any other girl before. When things started to feel like this I just broke up with them and moved on, but I don't want to do that to Hoshi." Malcolm looked so lost that Trip took pity on him.

He cared, but hadn't admitted it yet. "Find a way to get things back to where they felt good. That you're going to have to figure out because I don't know Hoshi, you do or you're supposed to be getting to know her. Be creative." That might be part of Mal's problem; Trip hadn't seen evidence of him possessing much in the way of creativity or spontaneity. That could be a real problem on Enterprise, where the options for romance were limited. "Find things you both like to do and plan a date or you could always try talking to her. Ask what she likes to do or have her help you plan some date nights." Trip had to remember what it had been like with previous girlfriends because it was so different with T'Pol. She didn't expect him to be creative or make dates fun. In fact, she'd had to learn to appreciate it when he did. T'Pol learned, maybe he should talk to Hoshi and explain that she needed to teach Malcolm how to have fun and be romantic. Watching Malcolm sink deeper into concentrating on what Trip had just told him made Trip rethink talking to Hoshi. He might surprise me again and actually come up with something on his own.

---

As they entered, the Mess Hall T'Pol took his hand in hers and squeezed. "What is up with you?" This was the second or third time she'd grabbed his hand like that.

"You do not wish to hold my hand?" The hurt in her eyes was evident.

"It's not that. It's just you cut off the circulation when you do that." He looked down at their hands.

T'Pol let go and walked away towards the dinner selections.

"I really like holding your hand, but this doesn't feel like something you're doing because you like it." Trip had been scanning the room trying to determine who or what was causing this reaction in her.

"Would you like the pasta or the meat for dinner?" Conveniently avoiding his questions T'Pol turned her attention to dinner.

She wasn't going to talk about it and trying to force her would only strengthen her resolve and Trip could feel the change in her mood, from light and what he called playful to a darker more serious feeling. "The pasta looks good. I'll get that if you'll get our drinks."

At their table, Trip asked quietly. "Are you going to tell me how you managed that little trick earlier?" Her mood lightened again.

"I instructed your body you were being tickled and it responded accordingly." Vulcans with the proper training were able to manipulate both the physical and mental processes of most species, but refrained.

"I thought you said it was forbidden for Vulcans to use those techniques on anyone unless there was a logical reason." He couldn't find a logical reason for tickling him, but if T'Pol wanted to, she would find one.

"Telepathic compulsion is forbidden. My training makes it possible to compel others to carry out my instructions but with you that is not what I am doing. Our bond allows me to access your mind. If you do not wish me to do this I will not." She waited to see what his reaction was going to be. They had agreed to work out what was and what wasn't acceptable between them.

Being tickled from across the room was different and the idea that she could make him do what she wanted should scare him, but she'd done it to make him laugh and get his attention. "It's fine, you'd never do anything that would hurt me. So if you can control my body, can I control yours?" It only seemed fair.

"You will be able to through a mind-meld, but beyond that I do not know. Humans do not use these abilities. Your brain may be capable but Humanity has not fully developed those areas. I believe there are those who have spent years learning to control their own bodies much as Vulcans do when in a healing trance and others are telekinetic and telepathic. We could ask Dr. Phlox about humanities latent abilities, but that would only make him curious and cause him to subject us both to his enthusiasm for seeking knowledge." There were religious groups and others that practiced techniques similar to that of Vulcans on Earth, but T'Pol was not aware if any had developed their skills to the degree Vulcans had, but if the Denobulan doctor didn't know he would most assuredly research the question and find out.

Trip could imagine Phlox poking and prodding trying to learn all the secrets Vulcan had kept hidden about their physiology and bonds. "So we just have to wait and see what my human brain can do?"

"Are you ready to learn meditation?" T'Pol had determined he was ready and it would benefit them both. The link between them had become an integral part of their minds and any interruptions would be detrimental to them both. Meditation would be needed for Trip to remain calm and rational if they were separated.

"I told you I wanted to learn whenever you were ready to teach me." He'd mentioned it when they were on Vulcan and waited until T'Pol let him know it was time.

"You have already mastered the breathing techniques and will only need to practice quieting your mind. We will begin after neuropressure this evening." Quieting his mind would be the challenge. Even in sleep his mind was active. She had suspected this when she learned of his nightmares. His unconscious was dealing with all the stress he avoided while awake when he slept. He had very intense, active dreams unless he was heavily sedated, which prevented them. Neuropressure had rid him of the terror filled nightmares about Lizzie by releasing his intense emotions and stressors, but his active imagination and dreams were untouched. T'Pol had only felt glimpses of his dream world, but found it fascinating.

Trip had not been so aware of his own mind and thoughts until T'Pol and Syrran had taken up residence in his head. His hope was that meditation could help him slow down those thoughts, especially when he let himself become so exhausted he could not sleep. Dr. Phlox told him he needed to be out 4-5 hours at a stretch to reach the REM stage of sleep, which was what the body needed to truly rest. When exhaustion set in there was no way to prevent his racing thoughts from waking him every 2-3 hours during the night.

**A/N: To those who are unhappy about the disappearance of the alternate TnT I'm sorry, but it became too difficult to make them unique as the bond between each couple reached a certain point and the development became too similar. This story changed directions and I hope you like it. I haven't totally abandoned them as they are in the last chapter, but I wouldn't look for them before that. I may write more single shot stories, once this one is complete, about this TnT and I do have an idea for a more diverse way to have two couples, but we'll have to wait and see what happens.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**A Vulcan Point of View**

Archer found Trip stuffed in the corner of the Mess Hall with his nose stuck in a padd. He must be catching up on his monthly engineering subscriptions. "Mind if I join you?"

"Hey, Jon. Have a seat."

Jon tilted his head toward the padd Trip was holding. "New engineering manual?"

"Nah. Not work related at all." Trip had found a padd tucked into the side of the cushions where T'Pol had placed it, he assumed to keep him from finding it.

Jon noted Trip had turned the padd off and put it in his lap so he couldn't look at whatever he had been reading. "Any luck with the Vulcan ship?" Jon knew Trip, T'Pol, and Jaran had been working on the repairs most evenings.

"No. T'Pol contacted every source she has trying to find information on that warp drive and no one has it or is willing to give it to her. T'Ana's father was some bigwig in the High Command and still has a lot of pull and they're all afraid of him." The High Command had been dismantled, but some of the members still held power in the new government.

"I'll never understand how things work on Vulcan. Not marrying the person your parents want happens all the time on Earth and we don't banish anybody." The whole arranged marriage thing completely baffled Archer.

"It's different on Vulcan and they both knew what the consequences were when they...b..married." He almost said bonded, which might have started Jon down a completely new line of questions. "T'Pol has explained most of it to me and I still don't understand how some of it works. They seem to be stuck between being logical and unemotional and these old traditions and rituals that are totally illogical and from a time when emotions weren't suppressed."

"It's nice to know they haven't got everything figured out. They always project this air of having all the answers, but they obviously don't." Archer had always hated that Vulcans came across as being superior to most other species. Knowing they had problems like everyone else was gratifying.

"It's going to get worse before it gets better. The old school Vulcans aren't just going to accept the Kir'Shara. They've spent the major part of their lives believing what the High Command told them. Getting them to change is going to be a long process, but things will change. Some things already are." There were priests and others who were still willing to accept diversity and allow adult Vulcans to make their own choices. T'Pol said she believed there were more Vulcans who had been hiding or just keeping a low profile like Ambassador Soval had.

"I'm looking forward to having a good working alliance with them instead of their usual 'big brother' we need to watch over and guide humans' approach. Ambassador Soval and I may never be friends, but he at least seems to be less hostile to me. He seems to hold you in high esteem lately. He's suggested I utilize you and T'Pol, as a team, for more first contacts." Archer had to admit that whatever his officer's personal relationship was it had not interfered with their professional one. In fact, Soval was right it had only enhanced their ability to work together. The thing Archer worried about was if spending all this time together was too much.

"Soval's not who I thought he was all this time. He's the reason we have any of the manuals for Jaran's ship, but even he can't get the sections on the warp drive. T'Pol says it's not classified, and she doesn't have enough warp engineering know-how to be of any help." The drive was warp 3 maybe 4 if pushed for short periods of time, but the Vulcans wouldn't budge.

"If you can't repair it we may have to make some unscheduled visits to the planets they were headed to until they find a home." Archer couldn't leave them out here with only an impulse engine. The Vulcans would have raised no objections if he'd left them on the planet they crashed landed on.

"Have Travis start plotting the coordinates for the nearest settlement. We're going to try again tonight, but I don't really expect any progress." T'Pol was book smart not always practical and street smart, as Trip's dad used to say. She could memorize and then analyze facts and figures but couldn't conceptualize all that data into the abstract and unfortunately it was a skill one couldn't learn. You either had it or you didn't.

Trip waited until Jon had moved away from the table before resuming his reading. The training Vulcans gave to their females regarding mating fascinated him. Why had T'Pol hidden this? Was she ashamed that she had abandoned her heritage or was she afraid he'd require her to adhere to it? This must have come from T'Ana and went a long way to explaining T'Pol's behavior whenever the Vulcan female was nearby. Trip felt the presence of the bonded couple last time T'Pol had grabbed his hand with that defiant attitude. What T'Ana had said to her he didn't know, but it pissed her off like nothing else ever had, even him.

"All senior staff to the bridge," blasted through the comm system. Trip entered his lock code into the padd, stuffing it into his pocket, and ran through the doors on his way to see what the emergency was.

The viewscreen showed several Vulcan starships surrounding Enterprise. "My Chief engineer can answer any questions you have regarding the ship." Trip heard Archer tell the Vulcan when he exited the lift. Since when did Vulcans pose a threat?

Archer turned to Trip. "Commander, Shahn here would like some information about Jaran's ship."

"What exactly do you want to know?" Trip inquired of the Vulcan.

"Have you repaired the warp drive?" Shahn asked.

"Not yet, we're still working on it." That was a lie really, but Trip wasn't in the mood to be cooperative with an unknown Vulcan.

"I wish to speak to my daughter, T'Ana." Shahn said insistently.

Jaran and T'Ana refused to come to the bridge. Archer summoned them when the Vulcans appeared. "I'll speak to her and if she agrees you can come aboard ..."

"Captain T'Ana can only speak to her father if her husband agrees, so you must ask Jaran first." Trip interjected and T'Pol shot him a surprised look.

"Commander Tucker, your association with T'Pol has furthered your understanding of our culture." T'Ana's father commented. "Just because you are..."

Trip felt a jolt of panic run through him that had to be from T'Pol. Another Vulcan became visible on the viewscreen moving toward Shahn. He was about to say something to him when Trip jumped in. "Zadik tun-bosh." (Forbidden careful). It was the first words of warning that came to mind. The Vulcans must choose their words wisely. Trip wished he could read lips as the Vulcan Captain who was now standing next to Shahn leaned in to say something to him.

The same captain stepped forward. "Commander Tucker, I am Captain Sirach. It is unfortunate when a human must remind a Vulcan of his honor and duty." His gaze went to Shahn. "Would you and Jaran meet with me and Shahn to discuss this matter?" The captain politely asked.

Trip caught his veiled thank you for his quick thinking. "I'd be glad to and I'll speak to Jaran. We'll meet you in the docking bay as soon as your shuttle arrives." Trip walked to Ensign Sato's station, whispering to her, "Would you contact Jaran and ask him to meet me in docking bay..." He looked to Reed for which bay the Vulcans would be cleared to dock in. Malcolm held up two fingers. "..docking bay 2?"

"Right away, sir." Hoshi let him know. "You know the UT would have translated for you?" She told him curious as to why he would bother to speak Vulcan.

"It translates for us, not them." Trip didn't let on that he hadn't considered that as he tried to discern what the expression on Jon's face was all about. He only thought about the shock value of speaking in their native language. He needed to stop Shahn from continuing, so he counted on the reaction he received from all other Vulcans. First, because it would have disgraced all the Vulcans to have him bring up private matters in front of the humans present and second because it would have brought up questions about the true relationship between him and T'Pol.

As Trip started toward T'Pol he thought to include the Captain. He'd already excluded him from the most of what had just happened. He returned his eyes to the viewscreen. "Captain Sirach, would you object to Captain Archer and Commander T'Pol joining us?"

"The captain is welcomed if he wishes, but Commander T'Pol's presence is not required." Sirach left no doubt that this was to be a discussion for the males only. From what Trip knew of Vulcans this didn't come as a surprise.

The information Trip had been reading described a male dominated society as far as marriage was concerned. Females were equals in the working environment, but were totally at the mercy of their mate once their bond was fully formed. The material he read also outlined training all Vulcans were required to take to prepare them to meet every need of their mates without question. The male and his family had final and total control unless the female or her family negotiated pre-conditions to the marriage, which were written up into a binding contract. That answered his questions as to why the female was allowed to challenge the marriage, but there was no such out for the male. The female had one chance to choose a mate she knew and cared about and would treat her as she wished to be treated. And that bond would only be allowed after a fight to the death with her chosen mate.

There was no point in arguing with the Vulcans so Trip turned to T'Pol. "I need to talk to you a minute." He motioned for her to follow as he moved toward the turbolift. On the way, he pulled the padd from his pocket, punched in the code, and handed it to her. "Is this all still valid?" He needed to know so he knew what the possible outcome in the discussions with the Vulcans might be.

The look in T'Pol's eyes told him she was upset and maybe a little scared. "Don't worry we can talk about all this later, but right now I need to know if Jaran has anything to be concerned about. Can T'Ana's father do anything to either of them?" He tried to assure her as much as he could with the onlookers on the bridge that she had nothing to be concerned about.

"Her father no longer has responsibility for his daughter. Her husband must provide whatever she requires without interference from her family without just cause." According to Vulcan law, the male must ensure his mate was well cared for or face the intervention of her family. If the female cooperated and proof of the lack of care or any abuses could be provided the male could suffer severe consequences, even death.

"Okay, then I'll go see what they want and then you and I can have some lunch in our quarters and talk." Trip took a firm hold on her hand. "Relax, it's nothing bad. I just have a couple of questions." He almost saw the frown on her face as he felt her discomfort. He smiled again at her.

"I will have chef make a tray for us." T'Pol tried to relax, but could not. Explaining her culture was complicated. It was on one hand very open and accepting of females until they married. From then on they were expected to care for their home and mate and any children the couple produced. If their duties did not demand all their time and if their husband agreed they could hold a position outside the home, but it in no way could interfere in their primary duty to husband and family. T'Pol's own mother had stayed home with her and only returned to her teaching position once T'Pol was no longer home during the day. T'Les had cared for T'Pol and her father making it possible for him to provide for his family. Her father's duty was to work and provide the best life possible for his family, no matter what.

On the way to the docking bay Trip and Jaran walked behind Captain Archer as they spoke. There were several topics of interest that Trip would have liked to broach with the Vulcan, but they had to concentrate on this upcoming meeting. "Other than Shahn wants his daughter to dump you and marry the mate he picked out for her is there any other issues he might want to discuss?"

"My own father wishes the same for me. My chosen has been unable to find a mate and my family may believe they are responsible for assisting her. When my time came I did not appear at the ceremonial grounds for the ritual and instead joined with T'Ana." So when his time hit he somehow bonded to a female other than the one he was betrothed to. As far as Trip was aware the original bond had been very weak and faded or a priest removed the previous bond; therefore; allowing the new bond to form.

"Have you ever considered that things are changing on Vulcan and it might not be such a bad idea to go back." The Kir'Shara was already bringing change and would continue to do so for years.

"We would be shunned by our families unless we were to sever our bond and undergo the Fullara and other rituals so that our bond would no longer exist." Jaran and T'Ana would not return to Vulcan and risk that.

"They'd really make you forget this whole part of your life?" Trip remembered what T'Pol had told him about her months at P'Jem and her time after she resigned from the Ministry of Security. How this could be possible with the family of a prominent member of the government was unfathomable. The news on Vulcan was nothing like that the news on Earth, but Jaran and T'Ana would be well known amongst their peers due to the power and prestige of their father's positions in the High Command. While that power would provide cover for many wrongs, the sudden disappearance of one's child for months and reappearance with a new bondmate should not go unnoticed. But it seemed to be acceptable to do such things to one's child on Vulcan.

"All our memories and emotions would be purged to allow the removal of the bond and then we would be bonded to those our parents betrothed us to. T'Ana's family had arranged for the priest to perform the rituals when several colleagues aided our escape. They provided us with a ship and all we needed to survive." Jaran and T'Ana fled Vulcan to avoid the ritual and would not return now. Their parents were powerful enough in the government of Vulcan to hide any misdeeds they might be guilty of now and in the future.

Trip reconsidered and realized Shahn must have enough pull to detain the couple and force them into whatever he wished. There were half a dozen ships surrounding Enterprise, preventing them from leaving. "You may need to request asylum aboard Enterprise from Captain Archer if they refuse to be reasonable. Starfleet may not be happy about granting your request, but they will."

"What good does that do us if we are held hostage here?" Jaran did not want to draw the crew of Enterprise into private Vulcan matters if it could be avoided.

"Captain Archer will contact Starfleet and request assistance, which will start the process of diplomacy between our politicians. It may take some time, but eventually they'll work it out." The inner workings of Starfleet and the government was not something the engineer ever wanted to get into the thick of.

The shuttle docked and Shahn and Sirach both exited. Shahn and Jaran carried on a discussion in Vulcan. Captain Archer stood nearby watching the expressions on his Chief Engineers face as he followed the conversation. Every time they had dealings with the Vulcans Jon felt a gap between himself and Trip. They were as close as they had ever been, except when anything pertained to T'Pol and the Vulcans. It was a divide Jon was beginning to see as unbridgeable from either end if Trip and T'Pol were unwilling to open up to him about what they kept saying were private matters.

"Captain Archer I would formally like to request asylum aboard Enterprise." Jaran walked away from the Vulcans and waited for Archer's answer.

"I will take your request under advisement. In the meantime you are under the protection of Starfleet." Archer added this to make it plain that there would be consequences for any actions the Vulcans might be considering. He would need to contact Admiral Gardner to have the request approved.

"Thank you Captain. We will speak later." Jaran exited.

Captain Sirach approached. "Commander Tucker may I speak to you privately?"

"Of course, if you'll step this way." Trip lead the captain out of the bay into the corridor.

"Commander, a friend asked that I offer any assistance you needed." Sirach watched the as Trip digested his words.

"We have a few friends on Vulcan, but I'm not sure who would wish to offer their help." Trip only knew T'Les and T'Pau and he had not contacted anyone on Vulcan lately.

"Syrell and I are acquainted. My engineers will bring our shuttle back and see what they can do to repair Jaran's ship. We may not have the parts to repair the warp drive, but if they cannot repair it they will provide you with the manuals and instructions on how to complete the work." Sirach wished to honor the debt owed to the human engineer.

So Sirach was a Syrrannite and Syrell really meant what he'd written. Trip wondered how many others were lurking in the background waiting to step out of the shadows V'Las' government had forced them into? "You don't owe me anything, but I would appreciate any resources you might be able to provide." Trip was beginning to get a full sense of what it meant to have Vulcans indebted to him.

"Would Captain Archer have a problem contacting T'Pau directly regarding the asylum request?" Sirach wanted to avoid the hassle the formal request was bound to create.

"I can't see why he would. What would you suggest we do?" Sirach knew how things worked so accepting his advice seemed prudent.

"Ask him to keep the request informal until he speaks with T'Pau. The High Council may find it more beneficial to recall us than to allow the formal process to begin." T'Pau and the High Council had too much on their minds to let this get out of hand.

Trip knew what he was trying to do. Keep this whole thing from blowing up into a major incident between Earth and Vulcan when it could be dealt with informally. "I will suggest Captain Archer attempt the backdoor diplomacy first."

"If he is successful, once my engineers tell me they have done all they can we should be recalled home." The High Council would feel honor bound to prevent any incidents involving Enterprise from devolving into a power struggle as long as Tucker and T'Pol were crewmembers.

"We appreciate your insight into the situation Captain. Would you tell Syrell I said thank you. Also, when his son is born could you ask that he send us word? I'd just like to know everything worked out okay for him." He'd had a rough time of it and Trip wanted to know his son arrived with no problems.

"I will contact him as soon as we return to Vulcan." Sirach held up his hand to salute Trip. "Live long and prosper, Commander Tucker."

"Peace and long life, Captain Sirach." Trip raised his own hand and responded, before returning to Archer's side back in the docking bay.

"Shahn headed the Ministry of Defense until recently. The High Council replaced him and he's now working under his replacement. Not much going his way lately." Archer hadn't gotten any information about the personal business Shahn was here for, but he had gotten him to discuss the current situation on Vulcan.

"If he's not in charge how did he get them to let him chase after Jaran and T'Ana with all these ships?" Trip's experience taught him that usually when one was demoted his power base also suffered, yet this Vulcan managed to wield considerable influence still.

"This is his last hurrah, I think. He'll return home and serve out his time as a sub-minister or whatever they call their underlings. Can't blame him for trying to get some part of his former life back. His wife probably isn't going to be too happy losing her daughter and all that status and privilege." Archer didn't understand how Vulcan marriages worked, but he was sure some things were universal.

Trip let the comments go. He couldn't find a way to discuss Vulcan marriages without revealing details he'd sworn to keep to himself. "Captain Sirach suggests you talk to T'Pau before you bring any of this to the attention of Starfleet. He's convinced the High Council will want to keep this all very informal."

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll send a message and we'll see." Captain Archer wasn't looking forward to sitting around out here waiting for a bunch of bureaucrats to settle the dispute.

"Sirach is sending some engineers to help me out with the warp drive. He'll need you to keep that out of your reports though. Sort of an unofficial favor that could create some problems for him if certain people back home were to find out." Archer had begun their mission insistent on reporting every detail to Starfleet, but over the years, Trip found he was more reasonable about leaving out certain facts, especially since the Vulcans read all his reports.

"A favor for you and T'Pol or for Enterprise?" Archer didn't need him to answer. Somewhere along the line, Trip's opinion of Vulcans had changed drastically. He trusted them whereas before he had thought them dishonest and arrogant. When the Vulcan captain asked to speak to him Trip went along with out giving it a second thought.

"He didn't say. Someone asked him to provide whatever technical know-how he could and he agreed." Trip hadn't lied really. He omitted the who and Sirach had said he was asked to help, but never said directly that it was a personal favor for Trip.

"When did you get so trusting of the Vulcans? Is it because of T'Pol?" Archer would give Vulcans the benefit of a doubt until they gave him reason not to.

"It's not just the Vulcans you know. T'Pol made me see that if I stopped looking at things from just a human perspective they weren't always as bad as I thought. Some species do things different than we do and that doesn't make it good or bad, right or wrong, it's just the way it is." Jon thought it was because they were involved and his change in attitude only extended to Vulcans, but that wasn't true. She'd started trying to make him see his limited view of reality on their first mission and every mission after that. The toughest challenge being with the Xindi. It had taken Degra's death to make him finally accept that even those you saw as your enemy weren't always the bad guys you wanted to believe them to be.

Jon didn't quite believe him. "So there are other species we've run into that you think might not be as bad as you first thought?"

"Shran and the Andorians, the Cabal, the Xindi, even the Klingons aren't all bad if you can appeal to their sense of honor." Trip hadn't given his worldview much deep thought of late. It had been a while since he and Jon had had one of their philosophical discussions, and they usually took place after a couple of drinks and didn't seem so serious. He just knew that the ordeal with the Xindi had taught him that while some of the Xindi, the Reptilians' they'd met being foremost in his mind, were evil and had no redeemable qualities, not all the species deserved the same reputation. Most Xindi didn't even know what a human was and had never heard of Earth.

"You always were more open to people than I was. I'd have thought being out here would have made you less trusting, but it hasn't." Archer hoped his friend had learned to protect himself more, but it was obvious he hadn't.

"I don't trust people like I used to, but I do try to give them a chance to put their best foot forward before I decide they're not worth it. T'Pol still tells me I need to be careful and I do try, but I can't make myself approach everyone as if they're totally untrustworthy until they prove me wrong. It's not who I am and I don't ever want it to be." Trip had never hated the Vulcans he just didn't like them trying to tell them what to do all the time and acting like babysitters and Jon was right he should have learned to be less trusting but he'd always been the glass is half-full kind of guy not the glass is half-empty sort he became after the Xindi attack. His return to his own true nature was because of T'Pol, not because they were together, but because she had spent time helping him heal the wounds to his psyche.

"I better head back to my ready room and have Hoshi contact the High Council and T'Pau and see if we can keep this from becoming a major falling out between our two governments." Captain Archer wanted nothing more than to avoid being at the center of another major event with Vulcan so soon.

Trip could feel T'Pol moving toward B-deck and their quarters with lunch. "I have somewhere I need to be, so tell Hoshi to comm me when the Vulcan shuttle gets here." Trip's day off so far hadn't been the restful day he planned.

Jon entered the turbolift. "Well, at least your evening plans won't be as unproductive as you thought." Archer knew Trip would be happy to work on the warp drive this evening now that he knew it would most likely be repaired.

---

"T'Pol, why are you so nervous? Do you think I'm mad at you?" Trip had sensed her anxiety level rising, as he got closer to her.

T'Pol sat motionless across the table from him. "T'Pol, I'm not mad. I'm confused, but not mad. Why did you hide that padd from me?"

"T'Ana came to me a few days ago and said I was failing as your mate because I was not fulfilling my duty to our family. Allowing you to touch me in public and not helping you with your emotional control would only make things difficult for you in the future." She'd also mentioned her duty to train any children they might have, in the Vulcan way.

"Did you tell her I'm a human and we don't do very well when we try to suppress our emotions? And what about holding hands could make anything more difficult?" It might make things difficult for T'Pol, but not Trip.

"Did you read all the information on this padd?" T'Pol suspected he hadn't.

"No I got about half-way through it. Why?" Trip picked the padd up.

"A Vulcan wife is expected to stay at home and care for her family. Part of that duty is to help her mate with his emotional control as their bond becomes stronger. Neuropressure has many uses. It can relax and stimulate, but mostly it serves as way for a wife to aid her husband in releasing any emotions he may not be able suppress. It is a wife's duty to ensure that her husband can suppress his emotions in public at all times. If he cannot it may hinder his ability to function in Vulcan society. T'Ana sees me as lacking in my duty as your mate and wished to remind me of my training."

"Is that why you grabbed my hand every time she was nearby?" T'Pol had been acting like a defiant child. He kept his reaction to this to himself. It would only make T'Pol more uneasy if she thought he found it funny.

"It may have been." T'Pol didn't want to admit she had reacted so irrationally.

"Aren't you the one who said it doesn't matter if what we do is Human or Vulcan? We're doing just fine on our own and we're not ever going to try to function in Vulcan society so who cares." The minute 'who cares' came out he wanted to take it back.

"There is much in the data that you will need to know when we marry. You will have certain rights as my husband you should be aware of."

"You're the one that insisted we throw out all the rules and make up our own, so what changed? The most uptight Vulcan female I've met yet tells you you're not honoring your mate and instead of discussing it with him, you listen to her." He just shook his head at her. "T'Pol, there's no human or Vulcan way to do this, so we're not going to read a bunch of Vulcan laws or human laws that are never going to apply to us." He deleted the contents of the padd and handed it to T'Pol.

She let out a deep sigh and relaxed her shoulders a bit. "I have been angry with T'Ana and myself. I did not want to tell you of my anger. My lack of control still troubles me and I know I should not allow my emotions to influence my decisions, but it is difficult." Years and years of Vulcan discipline and training taught her to rely on logic, control, and herself. When she couldn't she was lost.

"It's okay T'Pol. You're allowed to be little nuts sometimes. Hell, I've had more than my fair share of meltdowns in the last four years. Just don't forget I'm here to help you. Talk to me or if you can't do that at least lean on me a little." He knew she still had a hard time accepting that her Vulcan control wasn't always good enough anymore. He just needed to convince her it wasn't a weakness and to ask for his support occasionally.

Trip watched her move to serve lunch. "Chef sent that seafood salad you like. He says it's fresh." She was teetering on the edge, he could feel the tension.

"It's okay T'Pol let it go." Trip wrapped her in his arms. "You don't have to be in control all the time. Don't let that Vulcan pride or guilt of whatever this is tearing you up come between us." Starting from age 3 or 4 a Vulcan child spent hours every day being trained to be in control. Trip knew undoing all that programming was going to take some time. T'Pol could say it was okay, but deep down she still didn't truly believe it.

T'Pol leaned into his chest absorbing all the reassurance he was trying to give her. Trying to convince herself that she could really find the balance between control and letting go. Trying to turn off that voice in her head that said she was a failure as a Vulcan and as Trip's mate.

He felt her relax slightly. "I'd say you should meditate, but you barely have enough time to get some lunch before you have to return to the bridge. Sirach is sending his engineers to help us with the warp drive, so meditate after your shift, and then meet me in the cargo bay. I'll ask Jaran to keep T'Ana out of the way until they're gone." He wanted the Vulcan couple gone if having them here was going to make T'Pol so miserable. "Let's eat then we can start working on getting them on their way."

"I am not hungry, but you could assist me by performing the fifth and eighth positions on me. They are both helpful with emotions." T'Pol looked him directly in the eye.

This was progress. She had not asked him to perform neuropressure on her since that first night when she did it to trick him into letting her return the favor. Their sessions had always been a give and take arrangement. She performed a movement on him and he reciprocated. He started running through the positions in his head counting them off to determine which postures he needed to use. He took her hand and led her to the bench. "Turn around and lay down. We'll have you in good shape in no time." He'd eat lunch alone later and start learning what each of the postures and nodes affected, so that in the future he'd be able to assist her without her having to tell him what to do.

---

"Commander Tucker I wish to thank you for your assistance with Shahn and our ship." Jaran had noticed that the engineer was especially quiet this evening.

"No problem." Trip answered and returned to the injector he was installing. They were doing the finishing touches on the ship to get them back on the search for a home.

"Have I offended you in some way? You seem upset with me."

"It's not you. T'Ana said some things to T'Pol that I didn't much care for, but that's nothing to do with you. In fact, you've been the perfect gentleman around her."

"T'Ana is set in her ways. Even I find it difficult to understand her at times. She must have told T'Pol she was not acting as a proper mate for you?" He and T'Ana had discussed this several times and Jaran had told her she should not interfere.

"Yeah I guess. What bothers me is she has no idea what a human needs yet she told T'Pol what she should be doing as my mate. We don't suppress our emotions and it would kill us if we tried for any length of time. Besides it's not like you two are following the proper Vulcan path either." Trip's frustration came out with his words.

"We spoke of this and I thought she agreed not to say anything. I am sorry if she caused any problems between you."

"It's not a problem really. We keep running into these little bumps in the road while our bond gets stronger, but I don't see that as a problem. It's more like growing pains. I'd just like to keep them as painless as possible. If we were on Vulcan a lot of this stuff wouldn't ever affect us, but being out here surrounded by bunch of emotional beings in ever changing environments makes for an interesting life, but a less than smooth bonding process."

"All Vulcans experience difficulties with the process. If we didn't it would not take a year for the bond to fully form and stabilize. For some there is little change, but for others they are not prepared for the emotional turmoil the bond can create. Some whose duty require it spend years with a priest learning shielding and suppression techniques that will allow them to be separated for long periods of time and distances from their mate." Trip suspected those who experienced little change were those that marrried out of duty not love.

"What I don't understand is how a whole species can exist without really talking about the most intimate aspects of your culture just because it involves those pesky emotions you all want to deny." The more he discovered about Vulcans the more confused he was about their emotional makeup.

"We are taught that emotions are dangerous to ourselves and those around us from the day we are born. According to the Kir'Shara, this may not be true, but it will be many years before Vulcans are able to find the proper balance. It will matter little to off-worlders because my people will always consider that part of their nature as intimate and therefore private. Even you and T'Pol have chosen to keep the details of your bond private from the humans you are closest to."

"I agreed to that out of respect for T'Pol's culture and because I don't have words to explain all this to someone who hasn't experienced a bond. Especially a human who has no concept of linking one mind to another mind." Trip was convinced that many people would see their bond as unnatural and that would make them a curiosity causing the pair to be seen as a disruption to everyone and everything around them.

"Having experienced it for yourself do you find it easier to discuss with anyone other than your mate who knows exactly what you feel without your having to put it into words?"

"I guess not." Trip hadn't considered that before. Most of the interaction in the bond was about his and T'Pol's most deeply held secrets, desires, feelings, and thoughts. "I wouldn't want to discuss it with anyone else."

"You are the only one that your mate will ever truly reveal herself to and for that honor you will do whatever is necessary to keep her safe and with you." Jaran looked off to the far wall thinking of how close he had come to losing his mate.

"Couldn't ever explain that to anyone; even someone who shares the same kind of bond. There aren't words to describe it in either language." Jaran hadn't said anything specific, but Trip was beginning to see that what he saw of T'Ana in public could not be the same as the mate Jaran was thinking about. No guy had that look in his eyes if his mate was as cold and unfeeling as Trip had thought she was. If he were honest, while most Vulcans found T'Pol to be emotional, only a handful of humans would say that about her.

"You humans who have been raised to understand these emotions and deal with them cannot find words, so how would you expect a Vulcan, who has no such training, to discuss something that intimate when they find themselves thrust into a third of the way through their lives." The commander had been right there were no words in Vulcan to describe the relationship between bondmates and few Vulcans would ever use them if they existed.

"Do you know if there are many interspecies couples out there?" Trip couldn't be the only non-Vulcan bondmate out there. The Vulcans had been out in space for well over a century.

"There have been reports of some living in settlements scattered around the Alpha quadrant and there are couples who reside on Vulcan, but they keep to themselves. Reports from home are promising. The new High Council has outlawed discrimination on Vulcan. We have laws now we must wait for the changes in attitudes and beliefs of the people of Vulcan to follow." It would be years before the young Vulcans who would grow up believing in the true principles of the IDIC and Surak's teachings replaced the Vulcans who had been groomed by V'Las and his beliefs.

He remembered having this same conversation with T'Pol. "I wasn't thinking when I suggested you go back. Our laws changed years ago, but there are still some people on Earth who refuse to accept other species or new ideas." Change was inevitable, but slow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Focused Attention**

"They want us to find Columbia and fix the warp drive?" Trip found this to be rather unbelievable that the space station engineers had spent months working on Columbia's warp problems and Captain Hernandez was now stranded light years from home with no warp drive.

"Our orders are for Enterprise to stay with Columbia until Engineering is operating to the same specs as Enterprise. In other words they want you to pull a rabbit out of your hat and do what they haven't been able to do." Captain Archer informed his Chief Engineer. "We might never have gotten Enterprise out of space dock if you hadn't been there." Archer knew how this news had affected Admiral Gardner and the others at HQ. It was not encouraging when the best you have can't get one starship up and running because there was only one engineer who could get the warp engine to operate within specs.

"And once I get them going again are they going to expect us to show up every time they need a tune up?" Trip knew it was that or he would have to write a training manual for Columbia's chief engineer on how to maintain and repair a warp five starship. T'Pol might be able to assist him with this. He tended to write very sloppy reports with notes in the margins or he just added notes to the current Starfleet manuals, which she always cleaned up before they were forwarded to Starfleet. He'd never said anything to her about this, but he'd seen some of the reports that actually made it into the monthly reports and she was the only one who would bother to make them look presentable. He didn't know if it was to make him look better or because as First Officer his sloppiness reflected on her. Jon would just have sent them in the way he got them.

"They just want another starship out here fulfilling its mission and whatever you can do to make that happen will be appreciated." Moreover, it would get the higher ups off Gardner's back. It was really hard to justify the expense of a starship when you couldn't get it out of space dock.

"Where are they?" They'd just gotten the Vulcan ship repaired saying goodbye to Jaran and T'Ana who were heading for another colony they heard might be acceptable as their new home. Trip had been looking forward to a few stress free days with T'Pol, but that wasn't likely to happen for a while now.

"Travis says we can be at their coordinates in the morning. You have the rest of today off and then you'll be busy indefinitely." Jon was looking forward to the break. He hadn't spent any time with Erika in months. Their last date had to be postponed because of the Klingons and Augments.

"I need to go down to engineering and have them pull together the tools we'll need over there. Did they at least send ample parts and supplies on Columbia?" Some of the parts would be interchangeable, but some would be specifically spec'd for Columbia.

"They sent at least one of everything, but the warp core. I think someone knew they'd require your expertise and made sure you'd have everything you needed." Archer knew that Admiral Gardner made sure there would be no problem if Tucker had to be called on to bail them out.

"I'll see you in the morning." Starfleet had sent Columbia out here on purpose. Someone knew they would end up stranded and Enterprise would have to go to their aid. Why else would they have sent them out with a replacement for every part in engineering? Trip had argued and pleaded for replacement parts when they left for the expanse, so he knew how hard it was to get them to let go of spare parts they thought required the mechanics at Jupiter Station to install.

---

Jon woke up early. Porthos was pawing at the side of the bed trying to get his attention. "Go back to sleep boy. It's too early for breakfast or a walk." He rolled onto his side and wrapped his arm around Erika.

"Does he always wake you up so early?" She turned her head slightly to ask.

"No, he's just jealous. He jumps up here when he wakes up and goes back to sleep, but there's not enough room, so he's just letting me know he's not happy." Jon smiled to himself.

"Maybe we should have stayed on Columbia. No problems with territorial pets." They'd stayed on Enterprise to avoid the rumors on Columbia. Archer's crew would talk, but it wouldn't be a problem for him; whereas; it might cause problems for Hernandez who had only been in command of an inexperienced crew for months; not years.

"Well, now that we're both awake what would you like to do today? Commander T'Pol is in charge and we can do whatever you want." Jon hadn't taken more than a day or two off on the ship in several months.

"I'd like to stay right here for the time being if that meets with your approval." Erika turned placing her lips over his before he could answer her question.

His response was not verbal and he knew she hadn't expected it to be. It had been a long time since he'd gone to bed with someone and woke up with them the next morning and he had no problem taking full advantage of the situation. "We can spend the whole day here if you want." Jon finally told her as he came up for air.

---

Trip looked up when the strange sensation ran though him. "Is there something I can do for you Ensign?" Trip asked her. He didn't recognize her from the Armory. 'Must be one of Malcolm's new recruits that boarded when they were last at space dock', Trip surmised.

"Lt. Reed asked me to bring this over. He'd like any suggestions you might have and a time estimate." The young ensign handed him the padd.

His fingers made contact and the intense aversion ran through him quickly. Trip pushed his chair backwards and forced his fingers to hold on to the padd as he pulled it with him to force her to release it from her grasp.

Trying not to appear like a lunatic Trip sputtered out. "Tell Lt. Reed I'll get back to him later today once I've had a chance to read through this." The young ensign inched toward him as he began circling around the desk feeling like a magnet repelling against another magnet of the same polarity. The closer she moved in the stronger his desire to get away.

"He asked that I stay until you read it, sir. He would like to put together his teams to start the project today." That was stretching the truth a bit. Her superior officer had expressed that he wished to begin the project soon to keep the crewman sharp, but not necessarily today. The ensign decided to take advantage of the moment to get closer to the handsome engineer. He seemed like her type and if the rumors of his dating the first officer were true she needed to work fast to draw his attention away from the Vulcan. She had no doubt a human woman would have no problem showing him the affection he needed.

All Trip knew was he had to get out of this office and now. His chest was heaving, his palms were sweating, and when the ensign reached out and touched his arm as he moved past her on the way to the door his stomach lurched so abruptly, he just knew breakfast would soon be decorating his floor.

The door pushed against him as he took the knob in his fist. "Commander Tucker, I am sorry to be late for our meeting." T'Pol positioned herself facing Ensign Parker with her back to Trip. He moved up behind her taking her hand in his out of sight of the intruder. All the sensations calmed immediately.

T'Pol stared at the young ensign then turned slightly, pointedly making a move to take Trip's hand in hers and walk with him back to his chair. She bent over and whispered something in his ear.

Ensign Parker could do nothing else but try to make a hasty exit. When T'Pol turned on her the darkness of her normally green eyes told the young woman she'd made a serious mistake coming on to the Commander. She stumbled through repeating his original reply over her shoulder as her feet moved of their own accord toward the door. "I'll...I'll let Lt... um, Lt. Reed know you'll talk to him later, sir."

"I'll be right back." T'Pol followed the young woman out.

Trip began to sweat again. He'd never seen T'Pol so possessive before and the anger he felt from her worried him more than a little. The two emotions individually were intense enough to test her control but together the threatened to overwhelm her. When they suddenly dropped down in intensity, he became really worried. Since neuropressure or meditation weren't currently options available to T'Pol, the only other technique for releasing emotions quickly sprang to mind. But no T'Pol wouldn't hit her, would she? Especially not, while on duty.

He waited. She had whispered that she would deal with this and he should stay here and relax and judging by her mood, he thought it best to do as she asked.

"T'Pol what happened?" Trip asked immediately when she opened the door.

"Nothing, I just explained the situation to the ensign and she understands perfectly." T'Pol said very matter-of-factly.

"What situation? And what was that? I can't remember ever feeling physically ill when a girl made a pass at me before." He had many girls approach him, but if he wasn't interested, he usually just ignored them until they got bored and went away.

"I explained this on Vulcan when Koss approached me? The bond protects the connection between mates."

"You just felt repulsed, not ill." He clearly remembered that feeling. Then a thought struck him. "And why the hell do I have to suffer when I didn't do anything wrong? I haven't even thought about another woman since the whole Amanda Cole thing." This bond had some really good points, but it had some really bad ones too.

"You will have no further problems with Ensign Parker." It was simply a fact that the bond protected itself in the most efficient way possible. T'Pol had explained this to Trip previously, but he was just discovering what that meant.

"What the hell'd you say to her?" She was either dead or T'Pol threatened her. Looking at T'Pol he really wasn't sure which.

"I simply explained that her superior officer was a friend to both of us and that we are also his superior officers. As such, all we would need to do was explain that one of his ensigns had behaved inappropriately with you and his sense of duty would require that he assign the ensign to every menial task he had on gamma shift and then have her reassigned to a cargo ship once we reached space dock again." T'Pol was very calm.

"You don't mess around." Direct and straight to the throat. "Thanks, I guess, but hopefully, I never have to work with her. I wouldn't know what to say to her... or Malcolm... or Jon." Trip eyes went up. He didn't even want to imagine those conversations. 'Hey I can't be around you because you make me feel like throwing up.' And Malcolm and Jon would never let him forget it if he could ever manage to find a reasonable explanation as to why he needed to avoid her.

Trip was aware of the women onboard. He took note of them as fellow crewmembers. They looked okay, but he'd never been one to even flirt when he was seeing someone else. He'd tried dating more than one girl for a month or so in college and couldn't do it. He hadn't been able to maintain a relationship with one girl at a time for more than a few months and more than one was beyond impossible.

"For Vulcans this is not an issue. Once any Vulcan sensed that we are bonded they would not interfere. Humans don't seem to honor the bonds between those in a relationship. Ensign Parker knows of our relationship, but chose to 'make a pass at you' anyway. Several of the females aboard seem to think I am not right for you and wish to provide you with the 'affection' they think you need." Ensign Parker had let this slip when she was trying to explain her behavior to T'Pol. "The difference is they are willing to wait until we 'break up' I believe is the correct term." T'Pol often thought the few who were talking simply refused to see the change in Trip since he and T'Pol became friends. He was no longer the driven, revengeful, and somewhat lifeless man he'd become when they entered the expanse. The lighter, happier Trip was back, and they all appreciated that fact, but some failed to acknowledge that his relationship with T'Pol was the main reason.

"You and that super hearing. Why didn't you tell me you were hearing all this?" He wanted to make them stop. But knew he couldn't without making it a major issue.

"I told you before that our relationship is none of their business. Let them talk and we'll continue as we are and eventually they'll accept that we really are together and stop." T'Pol had gotten used to the constant chatter she heard from the crew. At first, it bothered her until she realized most of it was just a way of blowing off steam and coping with the reality of being on Enterprise. They needed stupid, mundane things to talk about to keep themselves from stressing about what was required of them daily to survive in space. Vulcans meditated, humans gossiped.

Talking about it wasn't going to make it any better and Trip knew that. "Well then since you came for a meeting I need your advice. I'm at a loss for what to do with Kelby." Trip had tried everything to get through to him.

"Is he not performing his duties?" T'Pol knew he wasn't. She had seen him in the Mess Hall during his duty shifts and he was constantly seen chasing after a number of the single female crew.

"I can't really say. He's hardly ever in engineering when I am and most of his staff tries to avoid him. I'm still trying to figure out who runs engineering. There seems to be some sort of routine, but who started it or who monitors it is a mystery. If I could get him to sit still and listen, I think I'd find a decent engineer in there somewhere. But he's so arrogant and cocky that most of the time I want to stuff him through the port hole in his office and watch him drift off into space." Trip visualized painfully forcing his body through that small hole several times a day.

"What are you asking me?" T'Pol couldn't offer advice if she didn't know what he needed help with.

"His crew isn't ready to be out here and I've tried to get Kelby to let my guys train them, but he refuses. How do I get them trained and get this warp engine going if he's not going to cooperate? I'm not part of their command structure so I can't just go over his head and complain to Captain Hernandez without causing more problems for everybody. I thought about talking to Captain Archer, but he's involved with her and that could get messy. I could just get them to warp five and send them on their way until the engine fails again, but then we're right back where we are now." That would really make Hernandez look bad and Archer wouldn't be happy about that.

"Make it an order." T'Pol insisted knowing Trip was a full Commander and Kelby was not.

"If I thought it would work I'd do it. They might not like their chief, but they hate me more over here. They'd love to blow me out the first airlock they can find." Trip yelled sometimes and demanded the best from his engineers, but they'd never acted like this bunch did. These new kids were overly self-confident and thought they had all the answers, but had no experience to back them up. Ordering them might get a little more done, but not correctly. They'd find ways to sabotage him and make sure nothing worked right. If they were back on Earth that wouldn't be a problem, he'd just have them replaced, but out here there were few options open to him that wouldn't make the whole situation worse.

"Don't they see how well your crew works for you?" Trip's team worked without supervision and he did not have to inspect their work to be assured it was completed properly. Kelby's staff left tasks unfinished when their shift ended and often didn't bother to inform the next shift of such details. They all seemed to watch the clock waiting for their shifts to end.

"No, all they see is a slave driver who makes them do every task over and over because he's a perfectionist. Hess and Rostov have tried to train them, but Kelby's so laid back and easygoing they think they can coast along doing the bare minimum and get by. They're all in for a rude awakening the first time there's an emergency and Kelby raises his voice or orders them to work a double shift. Worst than that is the fact that Captain Hernandez has no idea what's going on down here and when they get stranded again because her chief engineer can't be bothered to do his job she'll lose her command." It wasn't his place to tell the captain about her own ship. She was supposed to be informed and aware of her own crew and Trip was only supposed to be here to get their warp drive up and running.

"You have to keep trying with Kelby and I'll speak to Roget again." T'Pol had tried to speak to the first officer, but got the cold shoulder and so had returned to engineering to assist Trip with realigning the primary plasma injectors.

---

Two days later. "Where the hell is Kelby? Trip yelled as he came flying out of the jeffries tube holding the comm unit.

"He's in the Mess Hall having lunch." The ensign at the station across the room reported.

"Really. We're in here busting our humps trying to fix his ship and he went to lunch." That was the last straw in a week of incompetent engineers and lackadaisical command because Kelby refused to be grateful and accept the help being offered his incompetent self.

The doors flew open as Commander Tucker entered the Mess Hall. Every pair of eyes followed him across the room to Commander Kelby's table. "Are we enjoying our lunch today Commander?" Trip inquired.

"Can I help you, Commander Tucker?" Kelby responded with that same cocky attitude he'd been giving Trip since day one.

"Can you help me? No, I don't need any help. I'm actually quite good at my job and I have a team that's more than capable of doing whatever I ask them to do. But the six crewman who were just taken to sickbay might need your help. Your captain most definitely is going to need your help because I'm done. You're on your own, so I suggest you get that lazy ass of yours down to engineering and put out the fire your idiotic crew started when they blew up the EPS conduits and relays in 12A because they failed to follow the safety procedures we've given them four times now. You also need to prepare a report detailing the accidents that keep occurring because your staff doesn't know how to adjust the injectors to spec." His voice cracked as his volume level got louder. "And then you might need to figure out how to explain your absence each and every time someone gets hurt or why you've missed every test of the warp drive." He took a deep breath. "Me -- I'm going back to Enterprise to take a nice, long, hot, shower... and then I'm going to have the first meal I've been able to sit down for in days...and then I think I'll take a much needed nap." Trip saluted the Commander turned and left, passing Captain Hernandez on his way out. Some of the crew who were witness to Commander Tucker's angry outburst had summoned her from the captain's table.

"Is there a problem Commander Kelby?" A concerned Hernandez asked her Chief Engineer.

"No ma'am. Commander Tucker is just a little exhausted. I'll take care of everything." Kelby attacked his lunch attempting to hide his anger as he assured his captain.

"It didn't sound like he was just exhausted. Is what he said true? And I suggest you be truthful here because I will ask both Commander Tucker and Commander T'Pol what the problem is."

"I'm not sure what happened. He said some of the engineering staff needed more training, but I disagree. We just need time. He forgets his crew has been out here a lot longer than we have." Kelby's eyes were focused anywhere but on the Captain.

"Then maybe he's right and our engineers could benefit from their experience. I want a full report on all the problems in Engineering by morning." Hernandez could see the engineer was lying and he didn't know what was going on in his own department.

"Morning ma'am? I'm not sure I can do that." His shift ended in four hours and that wasn't enough time to get a report done.

"Then I suggest you follow Commander Tucker's lead and forgo sleep until you've managed to get engineering running smoothly Commander or I'll be more than happy to ask Starfleet to find a replacement that is willing to do whatever is necessary to get the job done."

When the commander didn't respond, "Do I make myself clear Commander Kelby?"

Kelby stood up. "Yes, ma'am."

Hernandez searched the room and found Roget. As she approached his table. "Are you aware of any problems in engineering, Commander?

"Commander T'Pol suggested I look into the need for retraining, but Kelby says he's got it all under control." Roget answered.

Kelby who she'd long suspected was clueless thought he had it all under control. "I want a complete report on the readiness of every department on this ship by day's end tomorrow. And I don't mean one where you simply ask the department head how it's going. I want facts, figures, and details to back up your conclusions." Jon had told her she was being too lax with her staff and that they would take advantage if she let them slide to long. He'd only been here for a week and could see the problems. She hadn't wanted Kelby as her chief, but Starfleet saddled her with him anyway. It seemed once word spread that the Xindi matter had been settled Starfleet began having problems recruiting and retaining the best and the brightest.

Captain Hernandez needed to speak to Captain Archer. Her duty to her ship was going to interfere with their evening plans unless Jon was willing to spend some time helping her correct her mistakes before her first command became her last.

"So you suggest I invite Commander Tucker and Commander T'Pol to dinner and give them permission to be as open and honest with me as they can?" Jon's suggestion sounded painful.

"Yes. But be prepared because T'Pol is a Vulcan and subtle isn't in their vocabulary and if Trip is fired up he'll pull no punches, especially if you tell him you want it straight." Both of his officers would let her know what they saw as her problems. Jon had considered ordering Trip back to Columbia, but when the engineer suggested he needed to back off and let Captain Hernandez deal with this on her own Jon agreed.

Erica wrapped her arms around Jon's neck. "So what do they like to eat?" Captain Hernandez found it helped to put people at ease if they had a meal they enjoyed.

"Trip seems to be leaning more vegetarian there days, so you'll need to see if Chef has any suggestions on what his favorites might be. Vulcans say they don't have favorite foods but I think T'Pol has some, but she's never told me what they are. Again Chef will know." Archer knew she liked plomeek broth for breakfast and Trip had mentioned some pasta dish she liked, and she must like Chinese if she kept trying to master using the chopsticks, but that was the extent of his knowledge. They ate together several times a week and he really had no idea. Trip used to like prime rib and catfish, but Jon hadn't seem him eat much meat for some time now.

---

"Come in." Trip shouted from his spot on the floor.

"Commander Tucker." Captain Hernandez spoke tentatively as she entered the room.

"Good morning Captain." Tucker quickly sat up and responded to her.

T'Pol remained seated at the computer, but turned her chair to face the captain. "I'm sorry for intruding. The ship's directory lists this as Commander Tucker's quarters."

"It is technically, but as you can see I don't use it to sleep in." Trip wasn't going to attempt to hide their relationship.

"It looks like an office." Hernandez looked around at the décor. The Commanders were sharing this office.

"We found it works best if we have a separate office and sleeping area." Trip watched as his words connected.

"I see and Captain Archer is aware of your arrangement?" That was a stupid question, of course he knows. It's his ship.

"It took him a while. Stumbled on it much the same way you just did. Came looking for T'Pol and the computer put her here." He waited trying to determine what her reaction was. "We keep our personal life out of ship's business and the Captain stays out of our personal lives. An arrangement that has worked out for all concerned." Trip knew she could make trouble for them if she chose to, but he counted on her loyalty to Jon to keep quiet.

"You've done a magnificent job of keeping your private life private. I've heard rumors that you two are dating, but nothing about being roommates." That the crew wasn't openly talking about this said a lot about how they were regarded by their crewmates.

"Was there something you needed from me?" He'd been expecting her to seek him out to find out what happened with her Chief Engineer.

Their personal life was none of her business. If Jon didn't object then she wasn't going to either. "Actually I wanted to talk to Commander T'Pol too so both of you being here saves me having to find her. I'd like you to join me for dinner this evening. I want you both to feel free to tell me exactly what you see as the problems in engineering. You'll be off duty so there will be no recriminations for whatever it is you need to tell me."

Hernandez looked directly at T'Pol. "And Commander T'Pol I'd be most interested in what you think I can do to address any issues with my command staff. I believe you've spoken to Commander Roget several times and he had been less than receptive to any suggestions you may have offered him." Hernandez handed them each a packet. "He prepared a report at my request and Commander Kelby submitted his assessment of the issues he believes he faces in engineering. I'd appreciate your honest opinions on what both men have to say. Captain Archer has confidence that you both will be totally open and honest with me." She was counting on them to help her formulate a plan.

Trip studied the captain for a minute. "If you're really serious about figuring this out we'd be glad to help you out, but it's going to take a lot of work and I suggest you find a way to light a fire under a few of your officers. They seem to think this is a nine to five job and they're just accumulating frequent flier miles."

"I know that now. I made a mistake by not starting off as a 'hard-ass' as Captain Archer so eloquently put it. Any suggestions on how I correct that?" Jon had told her you needed to start off hard and strict and loosen up as your staff learned what was expected and you developed a working relationship with them.

"I'd make every department run level I drills, until they pass with 95% efficiency." T'Pol offered knowing this was the only way to ensure they had the proper training and could utilize it instantly.

Seeing the look on the Captain's face Trip added. "It sounds high, but if they can't meet it under perfect conditions you've got big problems the first time you get attacked or get boarded. They need to be able to do their jobs without thinking about it when they're scared or things are blowing up around them. It's nice to think you'll just be exploring, but that isn't always how things work out here and Starfleet has a habit of putting us in the middle of everybody else's messes." Trip didn't want to scare her or the crew he just wanted them to be able to stay alive when things didn't go as planned.

"Jon told me the same thing after Enterprise came back from the expanse and I gave him grief." She'd thought Jon was being overly pessimistic about space exploration because of his experiences in the expanse.

"We've run into our fair share of trouble and for some of it we have no one to blame but ourselves, but there are also a lot of hostile species out here. You can't avoid them if you're going to fulfill your mission of meeting new races and making first contacts. We love being out here, but we've learned, the hard way, to protect ourselves." Trip more than T'Pol. She'd been overly cautious and had had to learn to ease up and enjoy it more.

Turning back to T'Pol. "I read your first contact protocols. Maybe we can discuss them at dinner." Noting the time on the clock she let them know, "I have a meeting with my staff I need to get too. Seems we'll be starting a series of drills tomorrow morning. I'd also like to request that you both come take over engineering until you think it's running the way it should be. Captain Archer has loaned you to me as of tomorrow if you both agree. You'll be in charge and Commander Kelby and his staff will follow every order you give them or I'll sign the transfer papers I have already filled out for each of them."

"We'll let you know at dinner." Trip had already decided, but he wanted to talk to T'Pol.

"If you don't mind I'm going to inform my staff of the change today. If you decide you don't want to I'll figure something else out, but I need to make it very clear to all of them that they are replaceable."

"The Commander and I will be happy to help you in any way we can. We will let you know our plans at dinner." T'Pol had made her decision also.

---

Trip sat with his dinner against the cold wall in the Mess Hall stretching his back muscles against the hard surface.

"Commander Tucker. We'd like you to meet Lt. Becker. He's assigned to gamma shift and has been since shortly after Columbia shipped out. He's got a theory we thought you'd like to hear."

Trip looked up at the pair making it clear they'd better have a damn good reason for making him sit here and listen to some kid's theory...about... he didn't even know what. "Okay, let's hear it." Trip said with no enthusiasm at all.

The lieutenant joined him on the floor. "Don't mean to be disrespectful, sir but I hate standing over people when I talk. It reminds me of when I was little and my dad towered over me."

Trip sat up a bit. People skills - the boy actually had some. "You're fine so what's this theory of yours?" Trip leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and listened to the young man drone on about the warp drive. Then he got to the part about how he'd test the spec requirements for the intermix and Trip sat up straight taking in every word. Warp theory, a real live engineer who had at least a basic understanding of warp theory. He opened his eyes and watched the animated way he was explaining it to him.

"Becker what are you doing?" Trip indicated he wanted to know what he was doing with his hands.

"I picture it in my head and sort of project it out and then I use my hands to help me figure out what I need to do next." The engineer appeared almost ashamed. "It's a bad habit. My mom used to tell me to stop all the time. Said it made me look stupid."

"Continue and I don't care how it makes you look, use your hands all you want." Trip watched him as he visualized the intermix chamber in his head and walked his way through the procedure.

When he was done Trip reached out his hand, "Lt. Becker you just earned yourself a reassignment. Report to alpha shift with myself and Commander Kelby in the morning." He saw the woeful expression cross the young man's face. "Is that a problem Lieutenant?"

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Permission granted."

"I like being on gamma shift because I don't have to work with Commander Kelby, sir." The young man wanted to continue, but was afraid.

"Why don't you want to work with Kelby?" He didn't like Kelby either. This boy was quickly becoming Trip's new best friend.

"I would really rather not say, sir."

"This is the only chance I'm going to give you, so if you're as smart as I hope you are, speak up."

"Commander Kelby could be a fine engineer if he'd shut up and listen. He thinks he's smarter than everybody else is so he doesn't need to learn anything more. And he might know more about things than some of us, but he doesn't know how to teach us. I think he thinks we'll just learn by osmosis." Becker had asked for help with a maintenance routine he'd been assigned and Kelby completed the tasks and walked away. Next time Becker had to do the same task he had to ask someone else to show him what to do.

Trip had to think about that for a minute, and smiled when he finally understood what he meant. "I understand you're reluctance to work with him, but Commander T'Pol and I are in charge. If you need any help you ask one of us or ask Rostov or Hess and we'll put you with the best person to teach you whatever you need to know."

Hess interrupted. "So who are you going to send me to replace Lt. Becker?"

"Well since we're going to teach Lt. Becker here how to run Alpha shift I think Lt. Becker should decide." He looked to Becker. "You might want to start checking out the other crews in your off time to decide who you want to transfer to Alpha shift."

"How many positions am I filling?" Becker was already considering who he wanted.

"All of them. If you're going to be in charge you might as well start off by picking your own crew." This was the easiest way to get around Kelby, who still refused to admit he didn't know everything and needed Trip's help.

"Can I start now?"

Trip wasn't prepared for it, but if he thought he knew who he wanted the least they could do was listen. "Sure. Who do you have in mind?"

"I want Randall from beta shift on EPS conduits and Johnson on gamma shift manning all the safety gauges and Little on alpha shift should be in charge of the plasma injectors."

"Any comments?" Trip looked to Hess and Rostov.

"No, sir." They both said before Rostov added. "Give them a try. If they don't work out we can move them again."

"Okay, you two take care of that for us and Becker here will be checking with you until he gets the team he wants." Trip reached out to shake Becker's hand again. "Lt. Becker I'll see you in the morning."

"I'm going to be in charge of alpha shift?" The young engineer asked with disbelief in his voice.

"Yes you are and I suggest you keep planning for the job you want and not the one you have." Trip could tell he'd given being in charge a lot of thought.

"I do that all the time, sir. I get bored and need something to occupy my mind. Until then I guess I'll have to figure out how to get along with the current chief engineer." Becker wondered if he could work with Kelby and never actually speak to him.

"Just keep telling yourself you have to work with him before you can take his job. It'll be good practice for working with a captain when you're the chief." Trip could see the fire in his eyes.

"I'll do my best." The lieutenant left and Trip was sure his feet wouldn't touch the ground until morning.

Trip gave his two crewman that you did good smile of his. "Thanks that will make things a whole lot easier. So Kelby stuck one of his best on gamma shift. You both need to start checking in on the other shifts and see who else he is under utilizing. I'm curious to see about Little. He's really good with the EPS conduits, but he doesn't seem to like what he's doing. If he can get the plasma injectors sorted out we may actually be able to do a test run in another week. How'd the drills go this morning?"

Hess smiled. "88%, but that's a jump of 8 points, so we're making progress. I say we leave alpha shift to you and Becker. Rostov and I will concentrate on the other two shifts. Who do you think Becker will send us?"

"My best guess would be Ensign Thompson. She's just not getting it and if he's smart he'll pull that gal, Rivera I think, from beta shift over to switch shifts with Ensign Amitas." The night shifts were mostly monitoring shifts. The alpha crew was supposed to be comprised of the best of the engineers who could take over if there was an emergency during their off-duty hours.

Trip leaned back again pushing his back up against the wall. "If I ever decide to do something like this again, you two try to talk me out of it and if you can't remind me not to drill myself so deep into the hole. I miss my bed and sitting in chairs." His back was so sore most of the time he sat on the floor so he could use the wall for support. He missed neuropressure with T'Pol, but they were so busy they hadn't seen each other for more than an hour or two at lunch or dinner for over a week now. He fell asleep at the desk in Columbia's engineering office and woke up to Kelby's snoring on the couch across the room.

T'Pol had been shadowing Commander Roget as he evaluated the various departments' performance in the drills Captain Hernandez had ordered. T'Pol found he knew his job, but lacked the self-confidence to discuss or confront problems with Captain Hernandez so she had been letting him practice with her. Today was to be her last day with him and then she would return to help Trip in engineering once again. He was looking forward to seeing more of her even if it was while working to get Columbia to go faster than warp 2.

Travis had been making gestures in his direction from across the room. "So how'd I get to be the hot topic at your table this evening, Ensign?" Trip asked when he approached.

"I just told them I had to deliver a message to you."

"A message, from whom? That got his interest.

"I don't really know, sir. There was a message that asked me to find someone to help me get an item to Locker Room C and then asked that I let you know to be there at 17:00 hours, which is in 10 minutes. Oh, and you're supposed to come alone."

"Okay Travis so some mystery person wants me in Locker Room C, alone, and you don't find that odd?"

"Well, I guess when you say it like that it could be, but I don't think they have any intention of harming you so just go see what they want." Travis was sure Commander T'Pol had sent him the message knowing he would help her out and not ask any questions. Why she hadn't identified herself he didn't know, but supposed, it had something to do with privacy, so he went along. And judging from the other items in the room whoever it was had no plans to hurt the Commander.

"If I go and something bad happens I'll haunt you forever." Trip teased knowing he would go although since the incident with Ensign Parker he was a lot more wary of any unexplained interest.

Travis knew Captain Archer had a date with Captain Hernandez, in his cabin. Hoshi and Malcolm had a date, and now with Trip in the locker room with T'Pol all the senior officers were busy and accounted for. The night shifts would be able to relax a bit more than usual knowing it was unlikely their superior officers would pop up. It wasn't much, but you took whatever relief you could get aboard ship.

The locker room was full of a mist that clung to his skin when he entered. At the doorway, he smelled peppermint, then the faint scent of lavender, and now standing over the tub of steaming water he smelled chamomile. A note attached to the table requested he disrobe and get into the tub. As he stepped into the water, music began playing around him. T'Pol had arranged this he was sure. Knowing she was the only one who would have access to this music, which he often listened to in their quarters to relax and clear his mind, put him at ease.

There was a heating element under a protective covering keeping the water hot and jets of water began working at releasing the tension in his back. T'Pol had gotten someone to help her or she had someone from engineering, using a compressor and some of the defective injectors they'd replaced, put this together for her because there was no hot tub or therapeutic bath on Enterprise, except in an open area of sickbay and Phlox refused to allow the crew access unless it was medically necessary.

About twenty minutes later he heard the lock engage on the door behind him as he felt her presence enter the room. "I should have done that when I came in. but on the off chance that this wasn't you I decided it was best to leave myself an escape route."

"There should be no further problems with any of the other females. Ensign Parker has discreetly let it be known that you are spoken for and it would be 'career suicide' I believe she said to attempt to come between us." T'Pol had heard the comments in several discussions amongst the crew.

"That's good news. Whatever you said to her worked because I passed her in the corridor when I went to see Malcolm yesterday and nothing happened." Trip was glad that he didn't have to worry about feeling ill every time he saw her.

"Is the water helping your back?" T'Pol was still behind him., bit moving closer.

"Yes it is." She stepped in front of the tub. "I was going to ask why you didn't join me earlier, but I see now why you waited." She had removed her clothing and relaxing would have been the farthest thing from his mind if she had been here like that when he arrived.

T'Pol reached out and took his hands. "If you would stand up and then lay down." She removed a large towel from the end of the table.

Trip laid on his stomach on the table. "I like this mystery date thing, but I have to say I'm surprised."

"Why? You've always said Vulcans are secretive and very good at being deceptive even though they claim they do not lie." T'Pol always wondered where that claim started. Vulcans as a rule did not lie, but if they could find a logical reason, they had no problem stretching the truth. One could always find logic in any situation if one tried hard enough.

"Some Vulcans yes, but not you. You've been confused and maybe less than forthcoming about things, but I don't think you've ever intentionally lied. And this isn't about lying. This is about being romantic and erotic and enjoying it." Trip let himself relax under her fingers.

"We are trying to have a physical relationship and being romantic and erotic is part of that for humans and I find I do enjoy it more and more. That is the goal is it not?"

"Yes it is and I'm being an idiot. My girl seems to be trying to seduce me here and I talk too much, so I'm just going to be quiet and let her do whatever it is she has planned for this evening."

T'Pol turned him over. "That sounds like a very good plan. Your participation is required this evening."

"Are you sure about this?" T'Pol still suppressed her physical reactions and he wanted nothing more than to advance this whole long slow process and end the one-sidedness and bring her as much pleasure as she gave him, but not if it was going to terrify her.

"Yes." T'Pol joined him on the table.

The flood of feelings startled him. "That's you. Wow." He could feel how much she had been suppressing and still was suppressing and he didn't know how she did it. He'd hidden his physical reaction to her for months, but he'd also released the tension later. She had not because it would have lessened her ability to suppress both her physical sensations and emotions.

Trip pushed his own arousal to the back of his mind, reigned in his emotions, and concentrated on the least stressful way to bring her pleasure and allow her a physical release. As his hands moved along her body he could tell it was not going to take much to push her over the edge. A little pressure here and slight pressure there and she'd be gone, so he slowed his movements and kissed her gently. He continued and let her reactions tell him where to touch and with how much pressure. When she finally let go tears rolled down his cheeks. If he'd tried to explain to anyone how he felt they'd think he was crazy.

Trip held her close for the longest time just letting her emotions and sensations melt into his own. "Thank you." For a human this was a big deal and for a Vulcan Trip had come to understand, it meant everything just to have the desire to find the balance between emotion and suppression with ones mate.

She set her chin on his chest and looked him in the eyes. "Choices I have made were because I sought to experience my emotions, even when I thought it was wrong for a Vulcan to do so. Now that I can I don't regret any of those choices." She melded with Tolaris to feel. She experimented with Trellium-D to feel. And while she might regret some of her un-Vulcan like actions during her addiction and the damage it caused her and what Trip had gone through to help her deal with it, it had also forced her to admit her feelings for him and brought them closer together sooner than it would have happened without the Trellium-D.

"But it's not just sex. It's pleasure, and intimacy, and emotions, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone. We've learned how to do all that without sex for months, so now it's about expressing how we feel, not sex." T'Pol still didn't identify her feelings as love and she didn't express her feelings in words, but she felt the emotions inside herself and when they were touching, he knew exactly how she felt about him.

Trip began to think about the things he had discovered about himself. He had loved Natalie, but not the way he should have. He wasn't ready or she simply wasn't the right match for him. She thought she was, but if she had been, he wouldn't have been so eager to accept his commission and leave her back on Earth. T'Pol was different. He'd committed to her long before he knew they'd be together and only asked her to be his friend in return. He knew how to be quiet with T'Pol and simply enjoy the feel of her body next to him. It was the only time he felt comfortable not moving or thinking. He knew how to find pleasure in making her happy or content or whatever she called those feelings only he had sensed from her. And he knew how to trust someone so much he'd allow them to look into every dark place within his soul and know she would not abandon him and then do the same for her.

---

"He did it. He got them to warp five." Trip jumped up and down pumping his arms, watching the readouts on Columbia at the engineering station.

"Now all he has to do is pass that test and impress the Admirals at HQ and the jobs his." Archer chimed in.

"He'll pass the test. Captain Hernandez is going to take her time getting home and let him practice with his team until he's ready. T'Pol and I put together practice tests for him and if he can pass them he'll have no problem with Starfleet's." Trip remembered his finals, so he and T'Pol made sure Lt. Becker could answer the questions, but had also made up tests for him to use as practice. They were much more difficult than anything Starfleet would throw at him; and the practical stuff his team was teaching him. He'd put in the time to make his teams work. He shuffled people around until he found the right fit and then let them teach him the things he didn't know. He could learn to adjust injectors or how to install an EPS conduit, what he couldn't learn was how see a warp core in his head. That skill he was born with and it was one many an engineer would love to have. Also he had a natural way with people. He was much more perceptive that way than Trip was and his staff trusted him and had begun to perform for him.

"So what's going to happen to Kelby?" Malcolm asked Trip.

"I don't know and I don't care. Starfleet said Captain Hernandez was stuck with him until she told them she'd relieved him of his command and would be more than happy to let him finish out his commission sitting in his quarters or in the Mess Hall. They'll reassign him somewhere. If they're smart, it won't be in space. He'd fit right in with the mechanics at Jupiter Station." The engineers there were adequate for installing things, but when it came to making them work in any practical way they were terrible. They needed engineers experienced at being in space and until they had more ships and crews out here that wasn't going to be possible.

"So are they heading back our way or proceeding to Earth?" Trip sensed they were coming back for one more night because Jon was too happy, which meant Erika wasn't gone yet. Jon had their last night together planned Trip was sure.

"They'll be back after they finish their run through. Seems her new chief had a plan for testing their work before he let her get to far away from you and Enterprise." Archer had thought maybe Trip knew what test Becker had planned, but then again maybe not. Trip tended to back away when he saw that his students had learned what he had to teach them and Becker had impressed Trip. The Commander told Hernandez that the lieutenant still had a lot to learn, but he was only going to learn it by doing, so she needed to have confidence and just let him run engineering.

A/N: I'm experiencing difficulties with my allergy meds of late so if there are obvious errors (spelling, grammar, etc...) please let me know. I guess we can PM here now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Additional Perceptive Experience**

"Do me a favor Malcolm. Give this to T'Pol." Trip handed him a duffle.

"A care package? What are you going to do up here all by yourself?" Malcolm knew Trip hadn't been apart from T'Pol since the Orions took her and that whole experience had been stressful for him.

"I'll be fine. I've got plenty to keep me busy." Trip could feel her with him. The connection was now as strong as when she was on the ship, so he was completely comfortable with her staying on the planet. He'd sent her two candles for meditating, her favorite small meditation pillow, and one of his shirts she liked to wear when he wasn't around. He thought because it smelled like him, but she'd never tell him that. He'd only discovered she wore it when he saw a piece of it sticking out of the drawer, she had hastily shoved it into.

"It could be a couple of days before we find the people responsible for the thefts." Malcolm let him know.

The captain had explained all this when he told Trip of the request for assistance. It seemed the local authorities didn't know whom they could trust in their own ranks. The black market on the planet was very profitable and many of those in power had been corrupted. "Would you stop Mal. I'm a big boy. I'll survive a few days on my own. Just look out for T'Pol for me. She's quite capable of taking care of herself, but it can't hurt to have someone watching her back." She had experience investigating crimes and seemed pleased to be able to put those skills to work again.

"I'll keep her out of trouble. Are you really going to run a full diagnostic in engineering?"

"Yes. It's been a while and it keeps me and my guys sharp to have to deal with the little problems that pop up on the fly." If he had to be on his own this would give him something to do.

His staff would know exactly why they were being put through the drill. The chief engineer needed something to keep himself busy while T'Pol was gone. "Tell your staff I sympathize with them."

Trip laughed at him. "Look who's talking. Mister lets do a test run just because I don't have anything else to shoot at." Malcolm called for drills when he was bored and needed something to vent his frustrations on.

"I'll have you know I haven't had a drill in two months." Malcolm hadn't been that bored for some time.

"Hoshi has been keeping you busy. This dating thing seems to be working out for you." Trip caught Malcolm listening to what sounded like some really awful Asian music, trying to find something he liked for a date he was planning for himself and Hoshi. Trip never asked how he'd gotten over his reluctance to plan their time together, but whatever happened Malcolm and Hoshi had gained quite the rep around the ship. No place was off limits for a night out for them. Trip had even heard from Travis that they'd spent the night in the sweet spot. He'd gone there to relax and found it locked until morning when he saw the pair exit together. Neither of them wanted to speculate what they'd been up to for the whole night. Neither thought they'd simply decided to sleep in zero G.

---

"Malcolm, what happened? Where's T'Pol?" Trip asked calmly of the tactical officer on the view screen in front of him.

Malcolm didn't want to tell him he'd let T'Pol be taken. "We were going door-to-door asking questions, her team had to take cover when someone started firing weapons at us. T'Pol was last seen being dragged away by two Agars with masks on."

Trip could feel her. She was scared and cold, but so far, she was okay. He concentrated on keeping himself calm and using the bond to send her all the support and comfort, he could.

"Malcolm have the local authorities been able to locate any sign of them?" A very agitated Archer inquired.

"No sir. I'm having teams sent down to help search. They couldn't have gone far. There's a security perimeter around every city here and they would have had to pass through several of them to leave the area." Reed was counting on that fact to help him find her, quickly.

"Keep me updated hourly. Archer out." Captain Archer moved to Trip's side. "He'll find her."

"I know, she's okay and captain I'm okay really. I'm not going to fall apart, so stop worrying. My shifts over so I'm going to my quarters if you get anymore news." Trip left. He'd meditate like T'Pol had taught him and he'd be able to stay calm and connected to her.

Archer stood in the doorway watching him walk down the corridor. He seemed okay, calm even, but after last time Jon wasn't convinced it wasn't all an act.

---

"What happened Phlox?" Archer watched as Trip struggled against the doctor and the ensign trying to keep him on the biobed in between screams for T'Pol.

"They found him sitting in the corridor screaming. He's non-responsive to any outside stimulus. His vitals are so slow I have no idea why he's able to put up any kind of a fight, but he's determined to leave." The doctor had run every test he could think of and other than confirming that the Commander's system was slowly shutting itself down he could find nothing wrong.

"I don't understand what happened. He was fine even after she came up missing. He promised this wouldn't happen again." What 'this' was Archer still didn't know but he had been relieved when Trip continued working and functioning with no problems when T'Pol went to the planet. She'd been missing for two days and he'd been eating, sleeping, and working. He'd been subdued, but functioning just fine.

"In his defense whatever is causing this he has no control over it. I doubt he knows anything about what is happening to him. And if T'Pol has anything to do with it she couldn't have known either. They may not talk to anyone else, but I know they have no secrets from each other." Neither of the Commanders had told him this, but being the observant doctor he was he recognized the signs of the closeness between them enough to be convinced they shared everything. Whatever their relationship was about T'Pol would never put him in danger by keeping something like this from him.

"Can you sedate him?" They needed him out of it long enough to find her.

"His vital signs are so erratic and his system is so overstressed now that a sedative would probably stop his heart all together. We can't risk it. We'll just have use the restraints and keep someone with him at all times. Any luck finding T'Pol?" Phlox strapped the commander down. He suspected that finding T'Pol was the only way to help Tucker.

"Malcolm said he had a lead, but I haven't heard from him." Archer and Malcolm had looked for several hours, but Malcolm finally requested Archer let him and his teams keep looking on their own. Malcolm didn't need to be concerned for the Captain's safety so he could search more efficiently.

Trip yelled out to T'Pol again. He kept telling her how sorry he was. For what Archer didn't know. But what it was he couldn't do without her Archer had no doubt about. He'd most likely lose them both if they didn't find T'Pol alive and well soon.

Phlox saw the pained expression on the Captain's face. "Why don't you go see what you can find out from the planet? I'll let you know if anything changes here."

"Thanks, I'll do that." He had to get out of here. Trip's desperation was taking its toll on Jon. Watching him slowly waste away was excruciatingly painful.

---

Malcolm stood there trying to keep himself from vomiting. The sound and odor from the saw cutting through bone and the smell of body fluids all over the floor so permeated the air he couldn't avoid it. He opened his comm unit. "Captain I have her. You need to transport Phlox to these coordinates. He needs to see what they've done to her before we unhook her from all these IV's and machines." Malcolm was afraid to remove anything before they knew what the drugs were doing to her system.

"Doctor, what are all these IV's for?" Phlox looked at the chart and labels on the bags hanging from the IV rack.

"T'Pol's system seems to be shutting down. Her organs were deteriorating and these doctors were trying to get her body to repair them so they would be healthy enough to make it profitable to remove them. Can't sell them if they aren't in peak condition." Dr. Phlox was being rather flippant, but knew that her Vulcan physiology had saved her life. If they had been able to figure out what was wrong and gotten her body to stop killing itself she would have been a victim like the many others in this place.

Malcolm scanned over the beds around the room. "They removed every organ, including their brains. I wasn't aware a brain could be transplanted." The thought of this whole operation was appalling, but removing the brain of all these beings seemed particularly wrong.

"You must remember a brain is an organic computer. That repair station we ran into only wanted Travis' brain to keep operating. Keeping his body was most likely done to make the connection go more quickly. Less preparation needed that way." Doctor Phlox looked at the beings that called themselves doctors being held in the next room. What sad pathetic examples of his own profession.

Malcolm looked over the documents he'd found in the office. They'd taken T'Pol to fill an order for a Vulcan heart, placed months ago. The authorities here had known nothing of the organ harvesting operation until they found T'Pol here. The only thing they knew before was that this group stole shipments and specialty items and sold them to the highest bidder. Malcolm and his teams tracked T'Pol and her abductor's movements and then picked up her biosigns not far from here. The government had expressed their deepest gratitude for Enterprise's assistance in finding this operation and their sorrow at the fate of Commander T'Pol.

"When can we transport her back to Enterprise?" Reed was worried about her and Trip. Hoshi had told him yesterday that Trip was going downhill fast. No one had said anything, but Hoshi seemed to think if they didn't find T'Pol alive that Trip would die.

"Most of these drugs will flush out of her system naturally, but some I will need to make inert before her system will dispel them." Phlox took in the lieutenant's demeanor as he handed Reed a pair of gloves to put on. "Help me remove all the IV's and then we can transport her." Phlox wanted her in his sickbay where he had what he needed to clear the drugs from her system.

Phlox and Malcolm came through the sickbay doors holding T'Pol up between them. Trip's restraints had been removed when he fell unconscious and Archer was now attempting to hold him down. He pushed himself up and immediately bolted to the door reaching for T'Pol. He kept grabbing for her and yelling her name.

"He's been calling for her to come find him since just before they notified me from the transporter room that you were on board. Somehow he knew she was here." Archer had barely been able to keep his hands on him.

Trip grabbed at T'Pol again. "Mine...T'Pol...Mine." He punched Malcolm in the face while Mal kept trying to move around him to get T'Pol to the biobed Phlox had indicated he wanted her on.

"We have to stop him or we'll never get her to the bed." Ignoring the fists coming at him Malcolm kept trying to get around Trip.

"Let him have her. I don't know how he's standing at all. When he tries to lift her up we'll have to catch them both?" Phlox assumed Tucker wouldn't have the strength to carry her and would pass out from the effort.

He assumed wrong. The minute they let go of T'Pol, Trip wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up. After holding her momentarily, with his head tilted down towards hers, he proceeded to the biobed he'd been in. Laid her gently down, removed his gown, leaving him in his underwear, and climbed in next to her. The minute his head hit her shoulder he was out. Phlox looked at the display in his hand and the one above the pair. Both sets of vital signs had improved.

"They seem to need to be together. They're both doing better than they were." Phlox started trying to figure out how to treat T'Pol with Tucker covering half of her body with his own. Moving him would be out of the question until he understood what was medically happening with them. He pulled a curtain around the biobed and placed a blanket over them for warmth, but mostly to protect their privacy.

"What's wrong with them?" Malcolm asked the doctor when he came from behind the curtain.

"We won't know until they wake up." The doctor couldn't say anything about their medical status.

"So they're both going to be alright?" Archer let out a tentative sigh of relief.

"If nothing unforeseen happens, I'd say yes." Phlox was confident that they would survive with few physical problems, but he had no way of knowing what the mental and emotional ramifications would be. Much of that would depend on how much the two knew already.

Phlox stepped in front of the captain as he walked to move around the curtain. "You need to allow them to rest and they need some privacy. You both know how T'Pol is and Commander Tucker has gotten to be just as private." Phlox may not be able to put them in a private place, but he could demand that the Captain and Malcolm be respectful of them.

"You can't expect us to stay away until they wake up?" Archer knew he was talking about Trip being in the biobed with T'Pol, but he wanted to see Trip to be sure he was all right.

"You can come ask about them, but I expect you to respect their privacy. T'Pol does not need to wake up and be distressed or embarrassed at having no control over her or Commander Tucker's actions." Phlox had to protect his patient's mental and physical health. T'Pol had had a hard enough time in recent months with being Vulcan and he would not let her suffer because of something that happened through no fault of her own.

"You really mean to keep us from seeing them?" Archer protested, but he was sure when Phlox took a stand he was not likely to back down.

"Yes, I do and if you fight me on this I will ban you from sickbay all together." The determined non-smiling expression on the Denobulan's face said he was very serious.

"I can make it an order." Archer challenged.

"You once told me that I'm a doctor and that I had to set aside my own concerns and needs and do what was best for my patients. Does this not apply to you or are you exempt simply because Commander Tucker is your friend?"

"Of course not." Archer answered with not much resolve behind his words.

"As the medical officer I have final authority on all medical treatment of my patients and I am telling you that allowing the commanders as much privacy as I can is medically necessary for the future wellbeing of both." Phlox stated his position as firmly as he could without seeming angry.

Archer's face became red as his anger rose. The doctor had used his own words against him. "You win for now." The captain stormed through the doors.

Malcolm watched the Captain exit. "I'll check in later. And you're right. I don't pretend to understand what their relationship is all about, but I know there isn't anything Trip wouldn't do for her and he'd never want anyone to see them like that." Malcolm pointed to the curtain. "He never touches her except to hold her hand. He doesn't even slip and accidentally touch her, so I know how much it means to her." If Trip wasn't serious about the no touching, that over-enthusiastic boy-like part of him would have made jokes about it or he'd have played at touching T'Pol in public, but he never did, ever. Captain Archer knew she hated to be touched, but he did not observe her personal boundaries. Never had. Besides he liked having his own way and the fact that the Doctor had blocked him and threatened to forbid him to come to sickbay at all would make him crazy.

---

For three days, Phlox had treated the commanders. He administered drugs to flush out T'Pol's system and given them both nutrients to sustain them until they became conscious. Captain Archer had tried to bully his way in several times. Phlox held his ground. Archer had suggested giving them a stimulant to wake them up. The doctor refused on the grounds that it most likely wouldn't work and might even cause more harm. As long as they were stable and improving, he would leave them right where they were. Tucker had known what was needed instinctively and Phlox wasn't one to mess with the instincts any species had for survival.

This morning their vital signs had taken another jump up. They weren't normal, but they were close. Phlox was hopeful that they would soon wake up. He had many questions for them both. They each had separate brainwave patterns that were neither Vulcan nor human and very different from the scans he had on file for each.

"Doc." The voice croaked out.

Phlox heard the call from behind the curtain. He immediately went to see to his patient. "Commander Tucker, nice to see you awake. How do you feel?"

"Like a truck ran over me and then drove through my mouth." His head hurt like hell and the taste in his mouth was beyond description. "How's T'Pol?" He lifted his head slightly to look at her.

"She's much better. I expect she'll be awake soon."

"Yeah, she's almost conscious." That was strange. How did he know that? Then he knew she wanted him to go back to sleep and keep dreaming so she could experience the calm serenity of being close to him.

"You know she's waking up?"

"Yeah. That's new." He thought outloud then remembered the doctor was there. Focusing his eyes, he asked. "What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. A couple of crewmen found you in the corridor and brought you here, but there wasn't much I could do to help you until Lt. Reed found Commander T'Pol." He hadn't done much then either except keep their bodies hydrated and full of nutrients.

Phlox saw him quickly look around the room. "No one had been beyond the curtain except me. The Captain and Lt. Reed have visited several times a day, but I've kept them out there." He pointed to the other side of the curtain.

Trip could only imagine how well the captain had handled that. "Thanks. I don't want T'Pol upset." He could see the questions in the doc's eyes. "I'm sure you have questions, but until T'Pol and I talk, I don't have any answers for you."

"I do have questions and you are the only ones who can answer them." The database had general information, but nothing that would explain everything about the last several days.

"I know that's not what you want to hear, but I won't say anything until T'Pol says it's all right. Vulcans have this thing about sharing information with off-worlders who aren't directly affected and I have to honor that." Trip knew there was some information Phlox needed, but Trip had his own questions that needed answers.

"I'm not surprised. From what I know already and from your reaction just now, you must know something about what happened to you and why. You were fine until something happened to Commander T'Pol. Several of the drugs in her system shut down parts of her brain. The part that affected you I suspect controls her telepathic abilities. You have a mating bond with T'Pol and when that bond was essentially severed you both began to react." Phlox watched Trip's expression for any reaction that would tell him what he knew of any of this, but Tucker's eyes remained closed and his expression remained passive as he listened to Phlox. "I suspect you've known about this bond for some time and have chosen to keep it a secret, which I understand could cause Starfleet to reassign you or strip you of your commission. What I'm not as sure of is whether you knew of the possible consequences of a bond?"

Trip didn't understand what had happened. He'd thought he was handling it all so well. T'Pol couldn't have known about whatever this was or she would have told him.

"Doc, you're just going to have to give us some time to work this out for ourselves. The Captain's going to want some answers and we need to decide what we want to do before we say anything." T'Pol was waking up. "Can you give us some privacy? We have a lot to talk about before Jon gets down here."

"I haven't notified the Captain that you're awake yet. I'll hold off until you tell me you're ready to talk to him." Phlox left them alone. His decision to not inform the captain was the right one for now.

"Hey there how are you?" Trip smiled at T'Pol and kissed her forehead.

"I must meditate." T'Pol pulled Trip closer to her.

He knew she needed to meditate, but that would have to wait. "We could use a shower and some clean clothes and then we have to talk about what happened. Do you even know what happened?"

"Our bond. If one of us were to die without the bond being weakened by a priest, it seems the other would also be greatly affected. Most Vulcan mates experience this, but I did not know if our bond would ever be as strong as one between Vulcans. I should have suspected this when I felt you with me so strongly when the shuttlepod landed on the surface." T'Pol finally took a breath and looked away.

Trip knew she was upset when she said whatever she needed to say to him in this direct manner and with out taking much of a breath. He could feel her remorse at not having told him of this possibility. "T'Pol it wouldn't have made a difference. I would still have said yes to the bond, but that doesn't even matter because the bond was formed without us knowing. Besides, I wouldn't want to be here without you so stop worrying about it. We'll just have to be more careful, and I'll have to do a better job of taking care of myself." He held her tight trying to assure her it was okay. They'd have to discuss what this truly meant and devise a plan to keep each other safe and healthy.

"We must talk to the captain and the doctor. The Captain isn't going to accept we're just dating any longer." T'Pol knew this day would come eventually, but it didn't make it any easier.

Trip rolled over onto his back feeling the cool air against the warmth where T'Pol had been. "I know, but what do you want to tell them? Phlox knows about the bond already. He put things together. I'm sure he's read everything in the database that he could find. With his background there's enough there for him to have a pretty clear picture of what's going on. He also has our medical records for the last several days to help him out." Trip didn't know what questions Phlox had, but he knew he had some. Jon wouldn't look it up in the database. He'd expect Trip to tell him everything.

"The doctor does not concern me as much as the captain. We have no choice but to explain our bond, but while Dr. Phlox is bound by his oath to keep this information private, Captain Archer is not. If he chooses to inform Starfleet we may both lose our careers." T'Pol felt the reassurance coming from Trip.

"We'll face whatever happens. Do you want to explain it or do you want me to and do we talk to both the doc and the captain at the same time? I can talk to Jon. I'm used to how irrational he gets when he's upset." Trip would do whatever would make this easier for T'Pol.

"Let's talk to Dr. Phlox first and then have the captain join us. The doctor can help explain any medical issues to him. I will explain this since I have caused this." As first officer, T'Pol knew Captain Archer well and Dr. Phlox might be needed to act as a buffer to prevent the Captain from upsetting Trip too much.

"You make it sound like this is something bad. It's not and don't you dare ever think it is." Knowing she was there was calming and loving and he wouldn't give that or her up for anything.

"Could we shower and change before we talk to them?" T'Pol had this layer of something on her skin and she wanted to wash it off and get out of the clothes they'd put her in when they took her to that facility.

"Doc, could we take a shower and change clothes?" Trip yelled out knowing Phlox was close enough to hear him.

Phlox stuck his head around the curtain. "You can use the shower in decon and there are spare jumpsuits in the lockers there. I'll order a tray from chef for each of you. Any request?"

"Make mine vegetarian. Tell chef it's for me so he'll know no raw veggies." Trip told the doctor.

Trip leaned in close to T'Pol. "Is coffee really that bad for me?"

"Yes, although you have been much better about only drinking it at breakfast." He hadn't drunk it other than at breakfast since they returned from Vulcan. He'd had to limit his intake until Phlox said his electrolytes were back to normal and hadn't gone back to drinking it all day.

Okay, coffee with breakfast only from now on he thought. "And doc, I'll have a glass of milk." He'd used to drink milk with his meals until he started drinking coffee. Then Jon got him started drinking iced tea. He'd be sticking to milk from now on.

T'Pol moved to slide off the biobed, Trip reacted and steadied her as her feet touched down on the floor. "Go easy. You still feel a little wobbly." When she felt less disoriented, he pulled himself up. "Let's go find that hot water. It'll make us both feel a whole lot better."

He wanted her out of that gown she had on. It smelled of antiseptic and of those who had captured and held her. Their scent on her made his blood run cold. After several seconds, Trip became cognizant that it was T'Pol who wanted the gown off and it was mostly her aversion to having their scent on her running through his body. It made the need for a shower all the more immediate for him.

Trip wrapped a blanket around himself and they slipped down the corridor unseen. No one visited this area unless they were required to spend time in decon. The shower was in the back away from the main compartment. Trip sat T'Pol on the bench against the wall and went in search of clothing for them both. He returned with towels and found that T'Pol had turned the water stream on to allow the temperature to get hot. He removed his clothing before moving to help T'Pol remove hers.

"C'mon, T'Pol stand back up with me and we'll get you clean and warm." Once she was upright, he gently untied the gown and let it drop to her feet.

"I've got you. You're safe, so just try to relax." He held her close to him as he moved them under the hot water letting the flow run through their hair and down their backs. He placed a handful of soap in her hair and began washing her from top to bottom, paying particular attention to the darkened area on her arms and legs where they must have placed restraints to hold her down. He cringed as he washed the yellowish substance surrounding each needle mark the many IV's had left. T'Pol remained motionless as he held her body against his own to support her.

"I am unharmed; do not worry, just wrap your arms around me." T'Pol instructed as she relaxed into him letting the security of his arms holding her make her feel safe once again.

He kept his hold on her with one arm while he washed his own body. Letting the warmth of the water wash away the panic and fear he'd felt when she disappeared from his mind. Breathing her in and letting go so she would not feel any of his anxiousness of the last several days. As T'Pol leaned into him and pulled him tighter to her, Trip couldn't define where it came from but he felt her fear. Fear of losing him and her powerful realization that the connection was so much a part of her that the loss of it would now affect her own ability to function.

He turned her towards him, reached around to find the first node in her neck, and pressed as hard as he could. They weren't sitting in the proper posture, but she needed relief from these pent up emotions he could feel beginning to overwhelm her. First came the slight pop and then her breath hissed out as the tension began to ease and his fingers moved without thought to the next node to begin again.

T'Pol felt the emotions being released. This was not as effective as meditation but should enable her to maintain control until she could return to their quarters and meditate. Trip hadn't needed her to tell him what she needed. The strength of the bond and his skill at separating her needs from his own were increasing.

The water began to cool so he turned it off and moved them to the area where he'd left the towels and clean clothes. Drying her off he really studied the various marks and injuries her captors had left. He'd found a tube of the ointment Phlox always had them use when they were bruised after returning from an away mission. He applied the ointment carefully to each of the discolored areas before handing her the clothes he's found. He then stood as she applied it to his own bruises from the restraints he'd been held down with.

---

Sitting across from her at the table the doctor had setup for them Trip marveled at the new sensations and strength of feelings he received while touching T'Pol. Apparently almost losing her had served to intensify the connection. "Are you ready to talk to Phlox?

She nodded yes, as he cleared away the dishes and sat in the chair next to her. "Doc, we're ready to answer as many of your questions as we can."

Phlox had been busying himself cleaning up the biobed and putting equipment away. He walked across the room and sat at the table. "From what I've read I believe you are bonded mates and from what I've been able to determine from your scans that means your minds are connected in some way."

T'Pol took Trip's hand connecting their fingers inside their palms in their own unique way of holding hands. "We are bonded and our minds are connected, but we do not know to what extent or how much stronger this connection will become as we spend time together and become closer."

"That's why you moved in together to form this bond." Phlox knew nothing of Vulcan mating rituals, except that they spent a year together when they first married. "So you knew what you were doing Commander Tucker?" Phlox smiled. He had made the correct assumptions from the data he'd gathered.

"We've talked about the bond and we knew the basics, but we didn't know what would happen if somehow it were severed." They still didn't know the full extent of what would happen. The reaction could range from a long period of mourning while their mind accepted the loss of the bond or even death because the loss of the bond was too much for the other to withstand. "We didn't know how strong it had gotten because this is the first time we've been separated since the Orions." Trip realized being on Enterprise kept them close so they hadn't realized there had been significant changes.

The doctor had all the information he needed for now. They'd confirmed what he'd deduced and any details he asked for now would not be medically necessary and would only be to satisfy his curiosity. "What exactly are you prepared to tell the Captain? I'm bound by confidentiality, but he is going to be insistent that you explain what happened." Phlox knew how angry he already was at them all.

Trip dropped his head into his free hand, rubbing his forehead. "My guess is he's pissed at me because he thinks I lied to him and being kept away from us hasn't helped I'm sure." Trip had seen how angry Jon could get and he was sure that his anger was spilling out all over the crew as the captain paced back and forth across the bridge.

"Lt. Reed reports he has been storming around the bridge practically yelling at everyone. He can be quite difficult when he thinks his authority is being challenged. If he could have, I'm sure he'd have dropped me off at the first planet or space station he came across." Captain Archer might be angry, but he had no authority to fight Phlox on medical issues pertaining to the crew and he knew that. He wouldn't report Phlox to Starfleet, as he'd threatened, because he couldn't justify any charges when seeing Trip and T'Pol would benefit no one except Archer and then only to ease his anxiety level.

Trip was thinking of the repair work he was going to need to do with his friends. "After this I need to get with Malcolm and thank him for finding T'Pol and apologize for taking a swing at him when he was only trying to help." Trip remembered everything that happened, and he had no clue how he'd stood up, swung at Malcolm, and carried T'Pol.

"The lieutenant has been here 3 or 4 times a day asking about you both. There's no need to apologize he was very understanding. In fact, he told me I was right to keep them away from you, that you'd want it that way. He may not know what is happening between you, but he understands how important it is to you to honor Vulcan culture." Malcolm's stance had surprised the doctor. He'd always thought the Armory Officer was a bit shallow when it came to emotional or personal issues. Closed off and reserved were the words that came to mind when he thought of Mr. Reed. Perhaps the changes he noticed in the young man were deeper than he'd thought and maybe the rumors he'd heard about Ensign Sato and Reed were true.

"You can contact the captain now. We might as well get this over with." Trip wasn't looking forward to this at all. He was worried about T'Pol. She exuded confidence and poise on the outside, but underneath he sensed there was doubt and deep-seated fear that she would lose control in front of the doctor and the captain.

---

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" Archer asked very nonchalantly. But Trip could see the anger hiding behind his attitude.

"We're going to be okay. Just need some rest and time." Trip answered for them both waiting for Archer to take a seat at the table with them. T'Pol's grip on her cup of tea tightened with every step he took. The ripple of emotions he felt buzzing in the back of his head turned to a furious onslaught of pessimistic despair and confusion. Trip knew T'Pol was sensing some of this from Jon.

"So has Phlox cleared you to leave sickbay?" Archer asked cautiously.

"They will be released to their quarters once this meeting had concluded." Phlox knew how tenuous T'Pol's hold on her most volatile emotions could be and wanted to be nearby if she lost control and required sedation.

"I need you to explain why my chief engineer wound up in sickbay? You promised me this wouldn't happen again Trip." Archer spoke with a great deal of control in his voice.

T'Pol reached under the table and took Trip's hand. "Captain there has been a development to the relationship between Trip and I that we have not made you aware of. When Vulcans take a mate they form a bond that connects the two individuals mentally. Over time the connection becomes stronger and makes it difficult for mates to be separated for long periods of time and if the connection is interfered with it may cause one or both parties to become incapacitated for an unknown period of time." T'Pol gave him as little detail as she could.

"So you're telepathically linked to Trip?" Archer knew Vulcans were empaths and had some telepathic abilities.

"It's more than that, but that's good enough." Trip concurred. It was better that the captain didn't ask for a more detailed explanation because they would then have to refuse to give it to him.

T'Pol's emotions were building up again. She could feel Trip's swirling emotions and that along with Phlox's concern and Jon's anger was more than she could handle. Trip squeezed her hand and without consulting the captain turned to Phlox. "Doc she needs to go meditate now. Can you call Malcolm for me?" Trip would ask him to escort T'Pol back to their quarters.

Phlox left then came back. "He's on his way."

Trip got up, took T'Pol's hand, and pulled her up with him. Guiding her to silently stand and wait at the door with him. Archer remained quiet but his foot was rhythmically tapping on the floor agitated that Trip was ignoring him.

When Reed entered Trip approached him. "Malcolm, would you walk T'Pol to our quarters and stay with her while she meditates. I'll be there shortly, but Jon and I need to finish our discussion."

Malcolm looked at the angry captain. "Sure. I'll have Chef send my lunch down and I'll wait until you get there." Malcolm wasn't going to ask why he didn't want T'Pol to be alone. He hadn't watched over her on the planet like he promised, the least he could do was stay with her now.

"Thanks buddy. I really appreciate your help." Trip reached out and grasped his shoulder giving it a squeeze then leaned into his ear. "She won't ask for help, so try to keep an eye out to make sure she doesn't fall on the way."

He took T'Pol's hand leading her out through the doorway into the corridor with Mal by her side. "You go meditate. I can't deal with anything else happening to you right now, so if you need to lean on Malcolm." T'Pol nodded her acquiescence. He took hold of Mal's arm, bending it at the elbow and placing his hand on his hip where she could easily grab it if she felt faint.

"I'll see that she gets there safe and sound. Don't worry." Malcolm promised.

"I know you will." Trip could see that Malcolm felt responsible for her being taken in the first place, but he could only deal with one problem at a time and Jon came first.

T'Pol took his hand. "Please do not allow the captain to upset you."

He could tell her request was as much for her as for him. "I'll try." Trip squeezed her hand then returned to sit at the table with Jon and the doctor.

"Can you break this connection?" Was the first thing Jon asked.

They could try but Trip wasn't going to go down this road with Jon. "No, and I wouldn't do it even if I could. Why would you ask me that?" Anger bleeding through in his voice left no doubt how he felt about Jon's suggestion.

"Because she's managed to connect herself to you for life and from what she just told us if you're going to suffer if something happens to her." Archer had gone to great lengths to keep his friend alive and losing him if T'Pol died seemed wrong.

"Damn - Jon what's wrong with you? If we were talking about you and Erika would you be so callous?" Trip knew the answer to that the minute he asked the question. Jon had given her up once for Enterprise and he'd do it again if he had to. Trip wouldn't sacrifice those who were closest to him for a ship or his career. He loved being an engineer on Enterprise, but he couldn't hold onto that like he could T'Pol. His work dealt with the abstract, but his life consisted of living breathing beings.

"I'm not bonded to Erika. Humans don't bond with their mates. Doesn't being that connected to someone scare the hell out of you?" Having someone else inside his head would drive him crazy.

"Humans do bond with their mates, just not the same way. When T'Pol disappeared from my head, I saw every moment, every conversation we've ever had. Every argument, every touch from the day we met and losing her is what scared the hell out of me." Trip watched as each of those memories played in his mind's eye.

Turning back to Jon. "Do you remember what I was like after losing Lizzie? I didn't know it then, but I was close to self-destructing and would have if T'Pol hadn't taken the time to become my friend and help me. Ask Phlox he knows just how close I came to losing it."

"He's right captain. If T'Pol hadn't been there he very well might have sunk into depression or had an accident in engineering due to his physical and mental exhaustion. Nothing I was able to do for him helped." Phlox had gone to T'Pol in a desperate attempt to find anything short of allowing him to become dependant on drugs to help the young man deal with his emotions so he could sleep.

"What exactly do you think would happen to me if T'Pol were killed?" Trip studied his friend before continuing. "Bond or no bond I'd be lost and there'd be no T'Pol around to save me this time." Trip didn't like to think about the black hole he was in after Lizzie and again after Sim.

"You have friends and there are doctors on Earth or even Vulcan that could help you. It might be rough for awhile, but you'd be alive." Archer offered.

"No I wouldn't. I know what it was like when I lost Lizzie. It almost destroyed me in here." He pounded on his chest. His voice became louder. "Trip Tucker went into hiding and it took T'Pol months to find him and coax him back out. We built a friendship and a trust between us that no one can touch and I won't give that up for anything. I can't." His voice became quiet. "T'Pol and I talked about this bond and we chose it Jon. I chose it."

"I know you love her. You told me that, but this is so much more than just loving someone."

How could he make him understand? "No it's not. Vulcans connect themselves to their chosen mate permanently, removing all doubts. I never have to worry if she'll be there for me because she's always right here." He held his fists to his temples. "All I have to do is think about her and I know exactly where she is and how she'd doing. I can know exactly how she feels and what she thinks about any subject I care to ask her about."

"And she can do the same to you. Doesn't it bother you knowing that she can know everything there is to know about you? You'll have no secrets." Archer couldn't do his job if he couldn't have secrets from those around him.

"She can't see everything if I don't want her to. I can't explain. It's private...Vulcans only talk to their mate about those things they consider intimate. If you have a problem with us being here then just put in a request to transfer us and we'll take it from there. All we ask is that you keep this to yourself. The Vulcans wouldn't be too happy if this information showed up in some Starfleet report or was being bantered around headquarters." Trip didn't want to consider the fallout with the High Council if intimate details of Vulcan culture, that they'd worked so hard to keep private, were to come out in a report involving him and T'Pol.

"You weren't ever going to tell me if you didn't have to, were you?" Then what Trip said about them transferring... leaving if he couldn't handle this got through all the anger.

"We figured it would come up sooner or later, but we hoped it would be later. You're my friend Jon, but I won't betray her for you or anybody else."

"You love her that much?" That hurt. Jon loved Erika, but would he choose her over Trip? He'd already chosen his duty over her once before and he'd known Trip for years, so choosing their friendship over her... he hoped that he'd never have to find out.

"Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? You search for that one person who makes you feel complete; who makes you feel like everything is right in your little piece of the universe?" Trip never thought he'd find that with his past record with women, but he had that now and it meant everything.

"That's the fairy tale, but I never thought it was real and nothing you've said has convinced me it is real." He didn't believe in happily ever after, his father had taught him it didn't exist and everything he'd just heard told him this was a nightmare. "Is this truly what you want? If it is then I'm not going to stand in your way. You're my closest friend and I don't have many of those floating around out there, so I'm not about to give that up without a fight." Trip said he was happy and Jon was in no position to disagree with him. Now he had to find a way to make this work for them all. He'd known when he brought Trip along that his exuberance and tendency to jump in feet first was going to provide challenges for him as his captain, but Trip had exceeded even his expectations for making his life difficult.

His friend had a problem seeing past his own personal bias or preferences and often Captain Archer ordered the Commander to do as his captain wanted. Always had. And until recently Trip may have protested some but then just let it go and followed orders. "You don't get to decide how my life should be or what's important to me. This is my personal, private life and you can't order me to see or do things your way anymore."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm the captain of this ship and I need to do what's best for the crew on this ship." Archer stopped. He saw that look in Trip's eyes. The battle was lost because no matter what Jon did or said to try to change his mind Trip would see it that way. Several weeks ago when they'd argued, about what Emory Erikson had done and Jon's decision to retrieve Quentin for his old friend, Archer had had to order Trip to do what Emory wanted even though Trip and T'Pol both had strongly objected to the very personal nature of his actions and the unknown danger those actions posed to the crew. They both did as ordered, but Archer had seen how angry Trip was at having to follow orders he clearly did not agree with. He never thought the young man would refuse to follow his lead, but that day he realized how close to the edge Trip had been.

Deflated Trip threw up his arms. It was no use. Jon believed what he believed and they would never agree about this, but with time, Jon might be able to accept it. Captain Archer on the other hand was an unknown. "I'm going to go talk to Malcolm and take care of T'Pol. Talk to doc here about when we can return to duty."

Trip was too tired physically and emotionally to fight anymore. He consulted with Phlox on his way to the door. "Any last minute instructions?"

"Just let the Commander meditate and be there. She may have nightmares, you probably know more about how she'll react than I do, so take care of her, and you're off duty for at least 72 hours. Get some sleep and you both need to come see me tomorrow afternoon for a checkup." Phlox knew being in their own quarters was the best medicine for them both. No prying eyes and quiet. T'Pol rarely volunteered details of how she felt, so Tucker was in a better position to help her than anyone.

Archer stood to leave after the doors closed behind Trip. "Captain if I were you I'd tread very lightly. The Commanders have been under an extreme amount of stress and any pressure from you could push one or both over the edge." The doctor warned.

That line between Captain Archer and Jonathon Archer was becoming blurrier and Archer needed time to see which side of that line he was going to come down on with Trip and T'Pol.

---

When Trip entered their quarters, he heard T'Pol speaking to Malcolm. She thanked him for finding her and tried to assure him he was not to blame for her being taken.

"Hey Mal, thanks for your help and thanks for getting her back to me." Trip sat down on the bed.

"I'm just sorry I didn't keep a closer eye on her. Is everything all right with the Captain?"

"I think so, but he's still a little angry. Phlox said he's been storming around for a couple of days now."

"Phlox made him stay away from you. The man has a real problem being challenged and when you're involved he's twice as bad." Malcolm knew their friendship brought special problems sometimes. He was sure that friendship is what drove Captain Archer to allow the creation of Sim and not just the mission. Archer needed to justify it to himself and everyone else.

"He does tend to worry too much about me. I'm fine, but he thinks he has to protect me from myself. Once he figures out that we're still close, he'll ease up." Trip hoped he'd see that and not make T'Pol an issue between them. They'd managed to remain friends this far and Trip wanted them to remain friends for many years to come.

"I'm going to let you two get some rest. I know you've been asleep for days, but that wasn't really sleep." Reed could see in their eyes they were far from healed. Rest and being close would help them more than anything else.

"Mal, thanks. None of this is your fault so stop blaming yourself and I wish I could explain but..."

Malcolm put up his hand to stop him. "You don't owe me any explanations. You're my friends, but this is between you and T'Pol. Now take care of each other and you still owe me and Hoshi a night out, so just let us know when you're up to it." Malcolm left a stunned Trip standing at the door. It wasn't that Reed wasn't curious about whatever the connection was between them and worried it might cause him problems as the tactical officer, but deep down he knew they wouldn't put Enterprise at risk if they could prevent it. He just thought having one captain/friend in the middle of his personal life was more than enough for Trip to have to deal with.

Trip sat on the floor behind T'Pol wrapping his arms around her. "You are not allowed to get kidnapped again."

"I will do my..."

"Shhhh...I don't want to hear that. Just say you won't be and let me believe it for a little while." Trip knew the dangers of being on Enterprise and had accepted them, but sometimes if only for a night he just wanted, no needed, to deny they were real.

T'Pol listened to his heartbeat slow, his breathing leveled out, and he cleared his mind of all thought and pulled her closer.

"I won't." It went against everything in her to say it, but she did it anyway and suppressed all her emotions to allow him his fantasy for a few hours.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Impaired Figure Ground - Part 1 of 2**

**Loss of the ability to distinguish the foreground from the background**

"I have to say this is the first time I've actually enjoyed it when my date ignores me." Hoshi whispered to Trip.

"They don't ignore us. We get to actually move the pieces when it's our turn, right." He chuckled lightly.

"Right, they plan, and strategize, and we do the physical labor. That does sound better than saying they ignore us." Hoshi smiled thinking how funny it was to see T'Pol engrossed in beating Malcolm at these games of strategy.

Trip enjoyed these evenings watching T'Pol get so wrapped up in beating Malcolm she forgot everything else. He couldn't explain to Hoshi how free and uninhibited she felt while outmaneuvering him on the battlefield. The only thing Trip understood about what she was doing was that she tried to accomplish her goal with as few casualties as possible. Malcolm on the other hand could lose whole armies and be happy. Even imaginary weapons fire and play wars on the vid screen excited him. T'Pol always added several layers of challenges for herself; Trip thought to justify spending the time with what she used to consider silly games.

When his turn came, he sat back and listened to her instructions, intently interested, even though he rarely understood the attack plan. Then he'd move his game pieces and acquire more men or weapons or whatever they were accumulating so she could conquer the universe. According to Hoshi Malcolm prepared for these nights by reading volumes on strategy and warriors throughout history to her. That T'Pol allowed the pair to see anything resembling a competitive side was amazing to Trip. She relaxed in their presence just enough for them to be aware of the difference. Her posture and facial muscles were slightly less rigid. She actually sat back in the chair instead of sitting on the edge of it like she usually did when anyone besides Trip was in the room. And sometimes when Malcolm was being his most verbal obnoxious, arrogant self she'd push back with that sarcastic Vulcan wit of hers.

The Captain entered without using the chime. Trip had told him to drop the reports off at the 'office'. He'd said they'd be there until late, so just drop by whenever.

T'Pol must not have been aware of his presence, at first. Her back was to the door but the instant she heard his voice her back became ramrod straight and her body moved forward in the chair. She and Jon were friends, but more on a professional level than a personal one. At one time Archer had thought they could be close personal friends and; in fact; they had been closer, but as much as he'd reevaluated his stance on Vulcans, he would never be as open to their culture and traditions as Trip was. He was every bit the explorer, but he was also the captain and had to maintain a professional distance to those he interacted with. His role as diplomat demanded this and Starfleet needed him to remain neutral and objective in the constant negotiations that seemed to be necessary to maintain the Coalition of Planets. Archer had noticed that T'Pol was reasserting her Vulcan control, which she had lost while in the expanse. This meant she was as professional and focused, as she had always been, but almost totally inaccessible on any emotional level that would help foster a closer friendship between them. Her sense of professionalism and his remarks to Trip and his initial coolness towards her because of their relationship and bond had made her wary of Archer's attempts to make up for any misunderstandings there might be between them. It was Archer's fault and he would have to do a lot of groveling to get past that wall of protectiveness she now exhibited where Trip was concerned.

His friendship with Trip had finally gotten back to something he recognized. Jon knew he'd made Trip angry with his attitude about the bond, and when Jon saw that his objections weren't having any affect on the pairs relationship he relented. Trip was committed to her and Jon had no choice but to be happy for him. Trip had made it clear he didn't want to sacrifice his friendship with Jon or his career, but he would if it came to that. With A.G. gone Trip was the closest thing to family Jonathon Archer had left and he wasn't about to lose him after the lengths he'd gone to to keep him alive and well.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Trip said I should drop the reports for the staff meeting off here." Archer said as he laid the reports on the end of the desk.

"No problem. I've almost wiped their little army off the map. A break might give Commander T'Pol time to come up with a new plan of attack." An over-confidently Malcolm bragged to the captain.

Trip bit his tongue as he saw T'Pol stiffen even more. Not because she was upset, but because she couldn't or wouldn't continue interacting with Malcolm while the captain remained in the room. Hoshi elbowed him when she saw the reaction.

In an attempt to relieve T'Pol's tension Trip began poking fun at Mal. "You know whenever you start talking trash she whips your butt." Trip and Hoshi thought it was because it made her more determined to make him eat his words that she found some way to prevail. Be it by outright winning or making his victory so miniscule it wasn't worth bragging about. Trip found he enjoyed it when she bested him because the Brit was insufferable when he won.

Trip opened his mouth to say something else but Hoshi got right next to his ear. "Shhh. You're messing with my evening. All that pent up frustration has to go somewhere." Hoshi admonished Tucker.

"You're incorrigible, Hoshi Sato. I'm amazed that Mal's able to keep up with you."

"You'd be surprised at what's hidden under all the stiff upper lip, British upbringing."

"That's okay I really don't want to know." More information than he ever wanted about his friends. He didn't listen to the rumors, but sometimes it was hard to avoid the stories about Hoshi and Malcolm. Trip had spent enough time cooped up in decon with Hoshi, listening to her stories of being so isolated at home with tutors and then making up for it with her misspent youth at the Academy, to be surprised that she was so adventurous. But Malcolm was always so proper and buttoned down that the guy who the talk was all about was hard to wrap his brain around. His dad always told Lizzie it was the quiet types you had to watch out for.

Jon looked over the table and at the vid screen. Obviously, one of Malcolm's intricate games of war or world domination. T'Pol hadn't turned around, but he could see by her movements that she was busy studying the layout. He'd heard Malcolm talking about playing cards with Trip and T'Pol. Archer wouldn't have guessed she'd ever participate in something as unremarkable as a card game. Even Vulcan social activities had some practical purpose, like reinforcing ones use of logic, physical prowess, or diplomacy. Maybe she'd gotten to like this sort of thing when they were searching for the Xindi and trying to destroy the spheres. "I'll let you get back to your game. Staff meeting 0900." Archer headed to the door glancing over his shoulder to see T'Pol relax back into her chair while explaining her plans to Trip.

Walking back to his quarters Archer reflected on how much better Trip and T'Pol were. They'd been exhausted after waking up in sickbay, but T'Pol had managed to get them past whatever problems the ordeal had caused. They supported each other, remained off-duty, and sequestered from everyone in their quarters for several days. Once they came out and went back to work, it was business as usual. On duty, they were more professional than ever and worked together better than they ever had. He didn't think most of the crew knew about Trip's collapse and those that did know he'd been in sickbay thought he'd gone down to the planet to assist Malcolm in the search for T'Pol and been injured. No one identified the source of that story, but Archer attributed it to Malcolm and Hoshi. Their contribution to 'true love' as Hoshi referred to the relationship between Trip and T'Pol. Archer had heard her commenting on how devoted Trip was to T'Pol. Jon cringed when he heard it but now that his fears of losing his friendship with Trip had gone unfounded, he was more settled about their bond. In fact, Jon was beginning to realize the only thing that had changed was his awareness of the depth of their relationship. They were behaving the same as they had been for months, except Trip no longer evaded Jon's questions about their personal life he simply ignored them. Now that he was aware and thought about it, Trip had been in love with T'Pol a year or more before Lexington showed up, but something, they were unwilling to tell him, happened during that time that solidified everything for both of them.

---

"Admiral are you sure sending a communications officer to sort this out is for the best?" Archer was perplexed as to why they wanted Ensign Sato on Prestoria to investigate.

"This wasn't my decision Jon. Just like you I follow orders and these orders say Ensign Sato is to attend the meetings and determine if Ambassador Rimmus' sudden change in recommendations' can be justified." Admiral Gardner was not happy about sending a communications officer to investigate, but he had no choice. Starfleet apparently felt she was qualified to observe and gather information without making anyone suspicious.

"I'm sending my tactical officer with her. At least he has some investigative experience." Archer wanted to ensure Hoshi would be safe. Starfleet was concerned that Rimmus had for months been so critical of the treaty with Prestoria, something to do with the gap between their technology and their social culture, and now suddenly he was all for it.

"That shouldn't be a problem. From what I've read woman are very protected there and she will require an escort if she is in public. Sending a security guard with a female diplomatic liaison will be seen as a reasonable action on your part." The laws on Prestoria were very clear that all women had a protector with them at all times.

"What exactly does she need to be protected from?" Archer was a little worried.

"There aren't any particulars in the data we have received from the Chancellor, but there are several predators there and the women are not allowed to carry weapons of any kind." Gardner could see the concern on Archer's face. She'd be inside the Chancellor's estate. What predators could there be? Gardner had asked the same questions, but had received no credible answers. "Rimmus had been sending us reports on the culture there. He seemed to think that Prestoria was only seeking a treaty with the Coalition members because they had alienated all their neighbors. He thought they were trying to find sources of imports from planets that were far enough away that there would be no real opportunity for interactions amongst our peoples."

"Did anyone point out how resourceful humans can be when they want to explore?" Humans were spread out all across the quadrant. If they wanted to relocate or just go sight-seeing they somehow managed to get whereever they wanted and the government and Starfleet had no legal recourse to prevent it.

"Not that I'm aware of, but I haven't been in direct contact with the Ambassador." Gardner was following orders and hadn't spoken to anyone outside of headquarters.

Archer continued scanning through the report while they waited for his staff to arrive. As he read it was obvious that Admiral Gardner hadn't bothered to read the whole report before contacting the captain.

When his four officers arrived Captain Archer quickly filled them in on the mission. "Our mission has been changed. We are heading to a planet called Prestoria. Ambassador Rimmus from Starfleet and other unofficial Coalition members has been involved in negotiations there with their Chancellor and several neighboring planets. Starfleet wants us to investigate some reports of unusual behavior from the Ambassador recently."

"Ambassador Rimmus is on Prestoria?" Hoshi asked.

"Do you know the Ambassador, Ensign?" That could explain the orders to send the Ensign to the conference, Gardner knew.

"I was his assistant my last year at the Academy. He taught several classes on alien cultures and diplomacy." Hoshi hadn't seen him since she'd been dismissed from Starfleet and gone to Brazil, but they were friends.

Archer's annoyance showed plainly on his face as he looked at his superior officer, but he covered for it well. "Starfleet is counting on that fact. They really need to know why his change in behavior has been so drastic and knowing you should make getting him to talk easier."

---

"Archer to Tucker."

Trip pulled his comm unit from his pocket. "It's me Captain what's up?"

"Why does it sound like you're in some tunnel somewhere?" Archer heard echoes when his chief engineer responded to his hail.

"I'm working on that continuity problem in the maintenance shaft over sickbay. The Doc says his little zoo keeps losing power and the bats are upset that the shades are up so it's not dark and somebody's not happy because there's not enough light or it's too cold. Anyway they're all so agitated that it scares all his patients." Phlox had complained that he was going to start making rounds because no one would come see him in sickbay.

"Well, then I need you to assign someone else to fix the problem and then I need you and T'Pol in my Ready Room." Archer waited for Trip to complain.

"I'll get Hess or Rostov on it. Do you want me to contact Commander T'Pol?" Trip knew she was in the Command Center. Most likely deciphering the data from the meteor shower. It wasn't a priority, so she worked on it when the Captain didn't need her to do something else.

The captain assumed he'd find T'Pol with Trip working somewhere. They were always working together on some project or other. "No, I'll contact T'Pol. Just be here in 30 minutes."

Trip responded while climbing out of the shaft. "Aye, sir, 30 minutes. Commander T'Pol's in the Command Center. Tucker out." Trip informed the captain to save him from having to scan the ship to locate T'Pol.

--

Archer entered sickbay to a symphony of unrest. "Phlox, I need to know if Hoshi's been cleared to return to the surface?"

"She has, but I've asked Lt. Reed to carry a medkit and a hypo of analgesic in case her headache returns and to watch for any signs that the Ensign is experiencing difficulties." Phlox informed the captain while trying to appease several of his less happy pets.

"Do you know what's causing the headaches?" Hoshi had never been one to complain unless she was in severe pain. The fact that she had visited sickbay twice since going to the conference had Archer concerned.

Phlox pointed up at the scans above them. "I expected the test to show me something, but as you can see all they show is stress in this region of her brain. She has not been sleeping well. If this continues there could be problems." Her blood work was also clean.

"Have you seen Trip or T'Pol recently?" The captain needed information and the doctor was the only one left who could provide it.

"Not since they've been back on full duty. I have spoken to them in the Mess Hall and of course, Commander Tucker has been attempting to correct the problems we've been experiencing with power. Is there some reason you're asking?"" They were both healthy so there was no reason to see them in sickbay.

"Malcolm asked that I send T'Pol down to help him figure out what's going on down there and if I send her I'll need to send someone as security. You and I both know Trip will want to go. I'm just concerned about this bond between them." Jon had tried to talk more to Trip about it, but he hadn't been very forthcoming with details.

"I'm not sure what you're asking me. Both Commanders are extremely healthy and the bond is causing no problems for either of them." Phlox had been observing the pair and had not seen any signs of trouble.

"Trip refuses to talk about their relationship at all. And he shuts down totally whenever the bond is mentioned." Archer's frustration was coming through loud and clear.

Phlox was aware that human males often discussed their relationships with females amongst themselves, but he also observed that this behavior usually ceased when a relationship became serious. "Would you discuss your relationship you share with Captain Hernandez with Commander Tucker?"

"When she and I were together before Enterprise we talked about her and his girlfriend Natalie all the time, but not anymore. Trip now considers his personal life out of bounds." Archer hadn't really thought about it, but Trip had not asked one question about Erika since they'd started seeing each other again.

At that moment, Dr. Phlox could see how very different the two friends were when it came to the woman in their life. Trip Tucker would sacrifice everything for T'Pol, but Jonathon Archer either had not found the right woman or was not capable of allowing a woman to get that close to him. Phlox considered that that need to keep up his guard and remain somewhat aloof to those around him was what made it possible for him to be in command of a starship. The doctor surmised that Captain Archer was just beginning to see that he and Tucker had different priorities in their lives than he might have previously thought. "Both Commanders have medical clearance for full duty." Phlox wasn't discussing the private lives of his patients with anyone, not even the captain.

---

"When exactly did I lose control of this mission?" Archer complained to his chief engineer when he showed up.

"Somewhere around the time you let Malcolm take charge." Trip had watched Malcolm and T'Pol do the whole one upsmanship routine. Nothing overt, or out of line but their investigation had a bit of a competitive edge. Reed started it when he requested T'Pol's assistance and they both just fell into the pattern they'd established in their off-duty games.

"You've actually managed to corrupt a Vulcan's sense of duty." Archer couldn't believe it.

"How'd I have anything to do with this? All I did was get her to socialize with Hoshi and Malcolm. And don't forget she's still a Vulcan. Malcolm may not be acting all stuffy and proper and T'Pol isn't preaching all those damn Vulcan protocols ... but what's wrong with that?" They both knew there was no way as a Vulcan T'Pol would allow anything to interfere with doing her job and most people would still say she was uptight with a condescending and superior attitude. Trip just wanted everyone to see her as T'Pol, a Vulcan who was trying her best to live amongst humans without losing what made her T'Pol.

But the captain wanted...what? As captain, he wanted the focused, somewhat rigid Vulcan first officer that had emerged after their first year or two but Jon wanted the less rigid, more emotional T'Pol from their time in the expanse that had become his friend. He couldn't have either and he didn't know how to deal with this T'Pol that was very Vulcan, yet could let go just enough that the friends she'd made appreciated the effort it took to find common ground with them and relax ever so slightly in their presence.

Archer wasn't upset about the investigation. He'd been trying, unsuccessfully; to regain the ground he'd lost with T'Pol. She was being resistant to all his attempts to rebuild the trust he seemed to have destroyed between them. "How is it she's so comfortable with Malcolm and Hoshi and I can't even get back to socializing beyond dinner and then only when I request it?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it comfortable, but she does ease up just a little with them." He didn't have words to explain to Jon the control it took for her to let her guard down just that little bit now that the damage to her neural pathways was less of an issue. "As her commanding officer she respects and trusts you, but on a personal level things are a little harder for her." Trip had pointed out to T'Pol that Jon had kept their bond to himself and hadn't made it an issue, but she insisted she must remain professional when interacting with the captain. She said she should never have allowed herself to cross that line between personal and professional with a superior officer and would not make that mistake in the future.

"Did you tell her everything I said?" Jon doubted Trip had but this bond they shared might make it possible for her to know anyway.

"We talked about it. I didn't repeat every word." He didn't have to she could feel Jon's emotions in Sickbay and she knew exactly how Trip felt. Knowing she was being protective of him but also that she was trying to exert control over her emotions again did little to alleviate the tension Trip now felt. "She had a really difficult time there for a while...she's better now but she's still trying to figure out what it means to be a Vulcan and right now to her that means she has to maintain a 'high level of decorum'." He still wasn't clear on what that meant but he knew T'Pol felt she had no choice.

"So what do I do, just give it time, and hope she'll eventually trust me enough to be friends again?" Archer wasn't good at waiting and being patient. He wanted to do something to make things right before it affected his friendship with Trip. He just didn't know what that something was. The biggest problem was they had no common ground to work from. T'Pol did not consider Trip a shared interest and made it clear any discussion of him outside of her professional duties was unacceptable. Leaving the only other interest the captain knew they shared which was science and that meant T'Pol could talk circles around Archer on most any topic they discussed. That also usually meant their talks ended up being work related.

Trip was hopeful that once T'Pol was more confident in her ability to suppress her emotions, like she had in the past, she would find a balance between a professional and personal relationship with the captain. "I know Vulcans aren't supposed to get angry but you pissed her off when you attacked her culture. She'd never admit it but I think she sees it as a personal rejection. She doesn't trust your friendship and it's going to take her awhile to let it go." T'Pol still didn't understand human friendships and how men behaved with each other and try as he might he couldn't make her understand. Especially since he didn't even understand, the unspoken code that developed between guys that made it okay that Jon didn't really apologize to Trip but allowed them both to act as if nothing happened and let their friendship go on as before.

While Trip continued to contemplate what he could do about Jon and T'Pol, she entered the Ready Room.

Archer turned his attention to her. "Lt. Reed sent a copy of all the reports that have been sent to the various governments from this conference. He wants you to review them to see if you find the same pattern he sees." He'd asked that T'Pol come back down to the surface to investigate. Reed thought she might be able to determine what was going on because he was at a loss. He'd been observing for several days and couldn't come to terms with the fact that there should have been differing opinions amongst the different species but there wasn't.

T'Pol had been down to the surface and talked to several of the participants. "I have begun to read through several reports. There are many discrepancies between the early reports and ones that are more recent. The language of all the recent reports is similar as if they were all written by the same hand." T'Pol had her team and several of Lt. Reed's security personnel investigating each of the diplomats.

"Lt. Reed wants you to attend the conference this morning. He believes as a Vulcan you may be able to pick up on any usual behavior of many of the attendees." Malcolm simply didn't know enough about several of the species present to know what was normal for them.

"He expressed this request when we meet last evening to 'compare notes'." T'Pol saw a look of disbelief on the captain's face while Trip just smiled at her.

"Have you found anything unusual?" Archer assumed they had and that's why they were 'comparing notes', but hadn't collected enough facts to support their findings. This new working relationship with the tactical officer baffled Archer. It also made him jealous that Malcolm the most uptight of the senior officers had become friends with T'Pol.

"We'll have more information for you in a day or two." T'Pol had a meeting scheduled with her staff and the security staff to check several anomalies she had run across in her reading.

---

"What do you mean they're not on the ship? I left them sitting in the Mess Hall eating lunch not five minutes ago." Archer yelled at the ensign.

"Sensors have no sign of them here or on the planet sir." Ensign Riley was scanning as far as the sensors would allow and there were no biosigns for the four officers.

"Do you know how Commander Tucker disabled sensors a few weeks ago?" Archer asked hoping that maybe the sensors had been taken offline again.

"Captain they were transported from the Mess Hall, sir. Besides Lt. Reed said that he and the Commanders had 'a gentlemen's agreement' regarding the sensors, so Commander Tucker would not have done anything to the sensors without informing the Lieutenant." Riley knew the captain had to be aware the sensors weren't the problem and that someone on the planet or in a nearby ship had to have taken their crewmen.

Archer knew better. He was grasping at straws. Reed would never compromise the safety of Enterprise or the crew and he wouldn't let Trip do it either. "Contact the security forces on the surface and I'll have Ensign Carter contact the Chancellor."

"We've already attempted to contact everyone on the planet, but no one seems to know who we are or remember anything about Starfleet officers being at the conference. In fact, the Ambassador didn't seem to know what Starfleet was." The young ensign got the impression the Ambassador didn't know who he was or what he was doing on Prestoria.

"Let me know if there's any sign of them." Archer rubbed his temples.

"Captain, Commander T'Pol ordered me to run all of Lt. Reed's tracking programs to prevent any unauthorized access to our computer files. Should I continue?" Riley had been running the programs all morning.

That must been part of the information T'Pol was talking about when she asked to meet before they returned to the surface. "Have you found anything?"

"There were several sensor readings that trace back to the planet, but that's all I can tell you at this time." Once the computer backtracked them to Prestoria, the trail went in hundreds of directions, in a well thought out plan to make any attempts at tracking the intrusions impossible.

"Keep looking." Archer ordered as he left for the bridge.

---

"Damn. It's dark." Trip's eyes fought to adjust while his body screamed at him for lying on the hard ground in the same position for far too long. Hours. He'd been here for hours.

The warm night air surrounded him giving a feeling of being somewhat more relaxed, but where was he? 'Get up' he tried to tell his body, but it wouldn't comply. With some force, he sat up but soon had to lay back down to stop the merry-go-round. His mind was searching. "T'Pol." He croaked out as loudly as he could. There was movement in his periphery vision, but when he turned straight on to see what it was all he could make out was a dark body-like shape.

'You need to go see who that is. Get up and do what you've been trained for.' That voice in his head kept hammering at him. "T'Pol is that you?" Trip asked as he tried to get himself upright again.

"It's me Trip." Malcolm sat up and immediately laid back down thinking he missed the fun part of this hangover.

"Malcolm are you alright?" Trip realized he still had that stupid vest, that Malcolm made him wear, on. He began checking the pockets. He found his tricorder, his and T'Pol's phase pistols, and the med kit the doc had given him in case he or T'Pol developed a headache was still strapped to him, but no communicator.

"I think so, but my head feels like scrambled eggs. Do you see Hoshi or T'Pol anywhere?" Malcolm tried looking around and all he saw was multiples of whatever he tried to focus on, which then brought on waves of nausea.

Trip grabbed the bottom of his boots to hold himself upright. "No. Where the hell are we?" Trip looked around attempting to find some clue as to their whereabouts.

"We're in the dark, on some strange planet, with one hell of a headache." Malcolm quipped back at him. They definitely weren't in the Mess Hall anymore.

"Well, at least I know you're okay. Check to see if you have a communicator. Mine's missing." Malcolm may be tipsy but if he still had his awful sense of humor, he'd be fine.

"Mine's gone to. And to answer your question my best guess would be we're on Prestoria. I didn't study the local terrain that closely. We were only supposed to be on the Chancellor's Estate." The only thing he had looked into closely were those indigenous animals Hoshi and T'Pol supposedly needed protection from.

Trip was beginning to hate hearing we were only supposed to do this or that and then ending up in the dark or the desert. This wasn't a desert or at least it didn't smell like one and there were structures of some sort. "I'm going to look around. T'Pol's here somewhere I just need to figure out where." He kept trying to center his thoughts, but the pain became too much. Just as he started to move, he heard a noise and turned to head in the direction of the sound.

"T'Pol, is that you?" Trip yelled while trying to concentrate on staying upright as the world continued to move around him.

Groaning and obviously in pain T'Pol attempted to move to an upright position but every time her head reached a certain level she fell backwards in pain once again. "Stay down. Give yourself a few minutes, it gets better." Trip insisted as he knelt down at her side.

"Where are we?" T'Pol asked immediately.

"On a strange planet, in the dark, with the worst headaches of our lives." She heard Reed reply.

"It wasn't funny when he said it earlier either." Trip laughed. "We think this is Prestoria, but we're not really sure. The last thing I remember is getting ready to go to the Armory to talk to Riley about those scans and programs you ask him to run."

Malcolm bowed his head trying to remember. "Yeah we were going to see him then meet with the Captain before returning to ..." Returning where? He couldn't remember.

"Is Ensign Sato present?" T'Pol attempted to sit up again. This time Trip assisted her.

"She must be here somewhere. I need to find her. She doesn't have any way to protect herself. All she had was the med kit." Malcolm assumed the four of them had been transported together and he had her weapon in his vest pocket.

"Bloody hell." Malcolm stumbled dizzily through the first abandoned shack he came to. When he saw no sign of Hoshi he proceeded to the next.

"Do you need my help Malcolm?" They had all been together, so Trip also assumed Hoshi must be close by.

"No. There are only two shacks left." He could be quieter on his own so he could hear her if she was waking up nearby.

Trip turned his attention back to T'Pol. "Do you remember what happened? All I get is pain whenever I try to see past the Mess Hall. There was someone in my head and then it hurt..." The pain intensified again.

"There was a being trying to manipulate our memories, but they were unable to access mine and when they attempted to access yours your shields must have prevented it."

"You helped me somehow. You were standing there in my head and then I woke up here. Who was trying to get inside my head?" Hoshi has been complaining for a couple of days now that something was wrong, but had not been able to say what. Trip hadn't lost his memory but he wanted to know what else happened to him. The last time a being tried to take him over all he remembered were trips to Florida and a picnic with an old girlfriend. The rest he'd gotten from Malcolm's security footage and what Rostov and the rest of the crew told him.

"I remember telling you to protect your mind and trying to send you strength through the bond but you said you didn't need my help." T'Pol was surprised and pleased at how far he had come in learning to protect himself. She was also surprised when she entered his mind, having never done that before. The next surprise wasn't as pleasant. The beings, which had tried to alter their memories, were not indigenous, but had formed some kind of symbiotic relationship with the original inhabitants of Prestoria.

"Do you know what they've done to Hoshi? Did they get inside her head to alter her memory?" Malcolm told Trip that Hoshi seemed to be forgetting details about the conference and its participants. She'd even become unusually agreeable about an argument they'd been having. They had an appointment to see Phlox about all of that after their meeting in the Armory.

"These entities have joined with the Chancellor and others of his species and wished to ensure the successful completion of the treaty negotiations. It is unclear what the purpose is. Some of the reports from several of the diplomats expressed concern over the disparity between their technology and the rest of their culture."

"It does seem odd to be so advanced you have a warp 7 shuttle and an automated system to treat the sick and injured, and yet have no trades of any kind and treat your women like children." Trip had read the Ambassador's reports where he stated the women were claimed by a male, at around age 14 by human standards, and unless another man challenged the claim she was considered joined with the claimant. Woman had no say in the matter and had no responsibility beyond caring for their mate and children and were not allowed to venture outside without their 'protector'. If they did, it became open season for any male who wished to claim the unprotected woman as his own. The whole social structure seemed barbaric to Trip but he had refrained from passing judgment and kept his thoughts to himself.

"Perhaps that is why the treaty is so important. They import all they require from other worlds and if the others are far enough away then it is less likely their culture will be questioned or influenced by outsiders." Usually they were concerned with changing the course of evolution of a civilization by exposing them to technology they were not fully prepared for not influencing societal customs.

"I still don't understand how you can build a warp engine but you can't program a computer to build a table and chairs?" The engineer thought if you can program a computer to run a warp drive, furniture and other needs should be easy.

"You need to have an imagination to do that. A computer can only design what it is programmed for and without imagination you get a square topped table or chair with four legs to hold them up." Malcolm interjected as he approached. "These people discourage anything but technological pursuits so if anyone has an imagination they surely must keep it to themselves."

"I don't suppose this sudden burst of knowledge means you remember the last few hours does it?" Trip inquired of Malcolm.

"No I don't. Do you two know why we're here?" He opened his arms wide to the space around them. "And why Hoshi isn't?" The tactical officer wanted to remember but mostly he wanted to know where the ensign was.

"We have determined there are entities that wish to influence the outcome of the conference. They may have altered your memories but were unable to access mine so I suspect they needed a plan 'B' I believe the Commander called it." T'Pol looked to Trip for confirmation that she had gotten it right. From the remarks Malcolm had made it appeared they had altered his memories, but it wasn't complete. He seemed to have some memories of the past several days intact. T'Pol surmised that was why he was here. Hoshi on the other hand had been losing memories for several days so it was possible she was allowed to remain on Enterprise.

Trip nodded taking note of her omission regarding his memory and decided it was best to just let it drop. Saved having to sidestep the obvious questions Malcolm would have. "They are on the outs with all their neighbors and need that treaty to be signed so they made all the diplomats agreeable by wiping out their memories?" That would explain a lot of the behavior they had observed in the last few days.

"Wiping out their memories wouldn't explain why they all seemed to have the same personality. Maybe the drugs or whatever they used affected their frontal lobe." Malcolm offered then added, "That is what affects moods, and personality isn't it?"

"Correct, but it was not drugs they attempted to use on me. It was a physical being that entered my mind and tried to manipulate my memories directly." T'Pol still felt the intense emotions the intrusion had evoked in her.

Malcolm let out a sigh. As big a pain as he used to think Vulcans were he was very thankful T'Pol had joined the crew. Her Vulcan mind, discipline, and control had saved their butts too many times not to be appreciated. It also helped that they had become friends or as close to human friends as he thought a Vulcan could be.

Malcolm pointed out the packs nearby. "Then they must have just needed us out of the way to get the treaty signed. That could explain why they dropped us out here with supplies and weapons." Malcolm doubted this was going to be as easy as they thought. Captain Archer would raise hell until his people were found and most likely had already started working on getting Starfleet to authorize removing every human he could find from the planet. At the very least, he'd see to it that no treaty was signed.

Trip listened to his stomach protesting the lack of dinner. "It's been hours since lunch and I'm getting hungry. I don't suppose they included anything like food in those packs." Trip motioned to the three packs. Another sign that Hoshi was not with them.

Malcolm reached in and pulled out a package of food. "Let's hope we can find something else out here because this stuff they tried to pass off as food makes emergency rations seem like a delicacy." Malcolm warned them. After one meal on the surface, he and Hoshi had insisted on returning to Enterprise for meal breaks.

"Must really be bad if you're refusing to eat it." Malcolm had a favorite food, pineapple, but if he was hungry he'd eat just about anything.

"It's like eating dirt, - grit and all." Malcolm made a face as if he was feeling that grit in his teeth.

"Then we need to check out the area. See what we can find. Put all those hours you spent earning those scouting badges to work." Trip teased the Brit.

---

"Trip what are you doing?" Malcolm snapped as Trip stripped off his jumpsuit and tied the ends of the legs together.

"I'm making something to carry some of this vegetation in. And I thought you were the survival expert?" Trip chuckled thinking back to how poorly he had done in all the survival classes and expeditions during Starfleet training and since they'd been on this mission.

"Well you might want to take off your shirt. It looks ridiculous with the lines from your undershirt showing through."

Trip roared with laughter. "What the hell is wrong with you? We're in the middle of nowhere with no clue how to get back to Enterprise or even find people and you're concerned about how my clothes look? You need to lighten up."

"Yeah maybe, but you really are inept when it comes to your attire. It's a good thing Starfleet requires we wear a uniform." Malcolm often thought about what Trip was likely to wear if left on his own to decide. He would never be taken seriously as the chief engineer in those bright flowery shirts he wore when he was off-duty. All anyone would have seen was the science geek.

"Sorry I'm not up to your standards in the clothing department, but I really could care less on my best day and who would I be trying to impress here anyway?" Trip hadn't bought new clothes since college. When he entered Starfleet Academy, he was issued uniforms that went to the base laundry and came back clean and pressed. Wearing casual clothes would have meant he had to do his own laundry so to avoid this he just wore his uniform.

Malcolm realized this was a pointless discussion and his head hurt too much to even try making headway. Unless T'Pol, who had some sense of style, insisted, Trip would never change. He removed his own uniform and laid it out on the ground. Once he had enough wood he tossed his shirt in and tied the extremities of the garment together and lifted his load to his shoulder. "What exactly are we having for dinner?"

Trip dug around inside his jumpsuit to show Malcolm what he'd found. "I have a couple of fruits I think. One's like a sweet grapefruit and the others a berry. There's a bunch of field greens and these roots that seem almost like a beet but they taste better and then there's this flowery thing that the tricorder says is edible, but I'm not sure how filling it will be." Maybe it could be used for flavor with whatever else was gathered by the group.

The two men foraged around the woods for some time. Trip listened to Malcolm drone on and on about the plants and flowers. He kept thinking he was like one of those spinning tops he used to have that drove his parents crazy because the longer he talked the more wound up he got and the more involved and detailed his discussion became.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Impaired Figure Ground – Part 2 of 2**

In daylight, Trip found high ground. After surveying the area the Florida native determined, by the appearance of the horizon, that there was a large body of water northwest of their current location. After weighing the options of staying here or trying to find help, Trip pointed out there was a higher probability of there actually being people near the water than anywhere else so they set out to the northwest.

"We have to get away from here tonight. I've tried hinting to him that we need to spend some time alone, but he's just not getting it." Trip couldn't decide if Malcolm was being dense on purpose or was so wrapped up in his own anger and frustration that he couldn't hear anything else. He'd hoped he could help him to talk things out or that Malcolm would try to alleviate some of his stress on his own with physical exercise, but so far, he had only managed to make it worse for himself and T'Pol.

Trip told T'Pol of his previous discussions with Malcolm. His focus revolved around worrying about Hoshi's whereabouts and the arguments he and Hoshi had had because of her insistence that 'he leave the tactical officer at the door when he came to see her'. Trip tried to get Reed's mind on something else for an hour or so but Mal refused to be distracted and kept coming back to the same topic.

"We're so much alike in some ways. We both were lonely and isolated as children and learned to keep things inside. Me because I just never fit in with my own family and her because she had this gift that her parents decided needed to be developed at all cost. How do I change who I am? I'm a tactical officer and my job is to protect people. Hoshi wants me to just ignore that part of me when we're off-duty and I don't know how to do that. You've managed to work things out so your work doesn't interfere with you and T'Pol."

"Damn Malcolm I'm a warp engineer and she's a scientist. Exactly what part of my job do you think T'Pol would have a problem with?" Warp engines and science were things they had in common and they often helped each other solve problems in their respective jobs.

"You're obsessed about your engines. Making sure, they're in tiptop shape and running at the fastest warp possible. It used to be all you cared about." Malcolm had watched as Trip became more relaxed about his work. He was still just as adamant about the engines being in perfect running order and as fast as possible, but not to the exclusion of all else. He worked and worked hard during his shifts and over when needed, but he now also enjoyed his off-duty time with his friends; but mostly with T'Pol.

"Yeah and I used to be a raving lunatic who only wanted to kill every Xindi out there. I kind of got over all that when we blew up the weapon and made peace." And when he finally accepted Lizzie's death and said goodbye.

"Well T'Pol's still your commanding officer."

"On duty she's my superior and I follow her orders but we still work together as a team. When we're off duty, it's nothing to do with Starfleet. We're just Trip and T'Pol." It had taken a couple of years and several incidences where Trip crossed the line and openly defied her authority, as first officer, but once he learned to trust her following orders was no longer an issue. With time and now their bond even when he did disagree with her decisions he never had reason to question her motives.

"From where I'm sitting it looks like you got the fairy tale my sister and her friends used to prattle on about." Malcolm remembered the sleepovers and gawky teenage girls giggling most of the night talking about their prince charming.

"Jon said he thought what we have sounded like a fairy tale too, but getting here wasn't like any fairy tale I remember. Well, maybe a Grimm's fairy tale." Trip joked, but not with his usual jovial attitude. "All I can say is if you're in this for the long haul, relax, grab hold, and enjoy the ride because it can be a little bumpy. And being out here only makes it that much harder." Missions, alien species, and the inevitable difficulties these interactions brought all added to the stress on any relationship, but surviving and supporting each other made it even more satisfying at the same time.

Malcolm didn't do well when the shuttlepod encountered turbulence and it was beginning to look like he wasn't faring much better in his personal life. Trip knew Malcolm and Hoshi were at one of those make or break points by the amount of tension he'd felt coming from them both. He also knew now was not the time to be making any decisions about whatever their personal issues were.

"You need to let it go for awhile. I know you're worried about her but you've got to try to relax. No relationship is going to fit into one of those nice neat little boxes you try to fit everything into. Did you really expect to include someone else in your life without some compromises?" Trip had seen Malcolm all tied up in knots and stressed like this before and it never ended well.

Thinking of stress levels brought Trip back to the fact that if he didn't get T'Pol away soon he'd have to tell Malcolm just how dangerously close she was to losing control of those Vulcan emotions Reed was very aware existed under the surface. Malcolm had explained to Trip what it had been like aboard the Seleya with the Vulcans who had lost their logic and the ability to suppress those most violent urges, so he knew very well what could happen.

As it turned out Trip never had to explain the situation to Malcolm. T'Pol gave him all the explanation he needed on their way back to their campsite.

"What's wrong T'Pol?" Trip felt the uneasiness coming through and he could see how alert T'Pol had become. Her posture was rigid and her senses were all in a heightened state. He could almost feel the presence of something. So much so that the hair all over his body tingled and seemed to raise up to waver in the slight breeze. The noise came from his right side. As he turned to see what it was he felt something clamp down on his ear and then he saw T'Pol's hands go towards the blur pushing it to the ground behind him. His body followed the movement of T'Pol flinging the creature to the ground.

He could see by her stance that she was preparing to attack. "T'Pol! NO! STOP!"

"What's wrong Trip I heard ..." Malcolm saw T'Pol clawing at the creature. It was one of the indigenous animals he'd almost convinced himself they wouldn't run into.

"The thing attacked me and T'Pol went into full Vulcan protect and attack mode and I can't get through to her." Trip continued tying to gain her attention by yelling her name.

"Look at her eyes, Trip. We aren't going to be able stop her." Malcolm had seen that look before. The rational part of T'Pol was no longer in control. "She's been having difficulty since we got here hasn't she?" Seeking confirmation of what he'd already suspected.

"Yeah, but we've been handling it until this thing came after me." Trip sensed her overwhelming drive to kill the beast.

"It's a Chaurin. They attack their prey from behind so they can dig their claws into the throat and rip it out." Malcolm turned his attention back to T'Pol. "Watch yourself, I've seen what an uncontrolled Vulcan can do, and she will hurt anyone who gets in her way." Malcolm had seen the same look on the faces of the crew of the Seleya when they attacked them and she was just as vicious as the beast she was fighting. Probably more.

What a ray of sunshine he was. Not only did Trip have to worry that this beast would kill T'Pol now he had visions of it ripping her throat out. "Malcolm shut up. She won't hurt me; she's trying to protect me." He bent over moving towards T'Pol and the Chaurin. He motioned with his hands. "Just stay back and keep your phaser ready. When we're clear, shot it."

Once this animal was taken care of he knew he needed to get T'Pol away from here until they could get her control back. What worried Trip is never having seen this side of T'Pol before and being away from Dr. Phlox and Sickbay could he help her get that control back?

The creature leaped at T'Pol who wrapped her arms around its body and began to tear at its flesh with her fingers. Green and brown bloods mixed, running warmly down her arms. Trip was sure he could feel it. With almost a mental slap, he forced himself to shift his focus. He needed to get their attention. Noise, he needed to make noise.

He grabbed at the larger broken branches lying at his feet and began banging them against the trees around him. Stomping his foot against the dirt. Yelling, "T'Pol it's me Trip. Look at me." Finally, the Chaurin turned towards Trip, which immediately brought T'Pol's gaze to him. Trip locked his eyes with the black eyes before him and waited. They moved slightly as the animal released T'Pol and made its move to rush Trip, who dug his foot in, pushing off, and went at T'Pol at a full run clutching at her waist and carrying her to the ground with him. He heard the phase pistol and without looking up he felt the life flow out of the creature. Hitting the ground hard jarred his hands loose and T'Pol broke free just when he locked onto the horrific terror in her eyes. She was in a panic, and on all fours bolted, heading deeper into the woods.

Massive amounts of fear and apprehension flooded through him. She was trying to get away. "T'Pol, where are you going?" He frantically yelled into the woods. He searched the bond, or what he could decipher of it, for signs that she was injured. He felt pain and discomfort, but nothing that seemed life threatening. What he did feel was confusion, fear, terror, and repulsion.

"Malcolm, stay here." Trip looked directly into Reed's eyes.

"I might be able to help." Malcolm offered knowing being near the super charged Vulcan was the last place he wanted to be.

"Stay here! That's an order." They'd been operating rather informally since they'd found themselves here. Trip was the only one not suffering from lack of meditation and sleep, and excruciatingly painful headaches, so he'd been informally in command, but found it unnecessary to issue orders when everyone just did what needed to be done without them. However, right now he didn't have time for niceties or explanations. He had to find T'Pol. "Stay here tonight and follow us in the morning." Malcolm could look out for himself and hopefully that would give T'Pol enough time to get herself together.

"Understood." Malcolm responded, upset that Trip had found it necessary to order him to stay, but trying to understand that he was centered on the fact that T'Pol needed him.

Trip grabbed both his and T'Pol's packs and ran in the direction she'd gone, trying to sort out the rush of feelings pumping through his brain, searching for which way she went. His thoughts were frantic and erratic as were his breathing and heart rate.

Then he heard T'Pol telling him, 'don't let your fear overwhelm you or the bond will not be the positive calming presence it was meant to be'. 'You can never lose me if you just listen'. He stopped, dropped to his knees, cleared all thought from his mind, and counted his breaths. Calm, he had to be calm, and listen.

Trip became aware of the aggression and fear he'd felt coming from T'Pol and the creature she'd fought with. Vulcans were sensitive to the emotions of all living beings but he had never noticed this before. Porthos and the Doctor's collection of critters must just blend into the 80+ other life forms on Enterprise. T'Pol had told him of this sensitivity once when she talked about why Vulcans were vegetarians, but at the time he had not known about Vulcans being telepaths so the information didn't make much sense and he never asked more about it.

No longer being pursued Trip could sense that she had stopped. Exhausted, lost, and scared. A combination of not wanting Trip to find her and yet fearing that he would not want to find her. He followed at a fast walk. His boots were weighing heavy on him now, along with the weight of both packs. He and Malcolm had given up wearing their uniforms after hauling several loads of wood and food in them, and the underbrush he'd been trudging through was leaving nicks up and down his bare legs that stung as salty sweat rolled downward. He considered putting the uniform back on, but the idea of overheating from the added clothing outweighed any benefit of covering his skin.

He couldn't see her, but she was nearby. "Please T'Pol--I'm not going to go away so don't make me have to follow you again." Trip stopped, dropped the gear, placing his hands on his knees to hold him up as he scanned close to the ground to find her.

He located her and after several minutes of standing there he called out. "T'Pol I'm going to go find some water, after all this walking I'm thirsty." That Florida nose of his was coming in handy. He could smell water nearby. Trip looked up for a tree that seemed tall enough with enough branches that he could climb.

They were within 10-15 kilometers of the larger body of water he located days earlier on the horizon. They wouldn't reach it today, but hopefully they were close enough to find a larger feeder stream than the ones they'd run into thus far. Maybe they'd even find one with fish in it. Meat hadn't been a major part of his diet for weeks now, but the fruits and what he could only describe, as vegetables must not be supplying them with enough of some vital nutrients because he was craving meat. Mostly though he wanted to wash his body, along with his boxers and undershirt to remove the odor that hung on them after only rinsing off for the last several days.

He made a decision then shinnied back down to the ground. "T'Pol I'm going to go to the north and see what I can find. If you don't catch up to me before dark I'll make camp and wait for you and Malcolm." The only way to reach her at this point was through that stubborn Vulcan sense of duty. He'd considered appealing to her on a more emotional level, but decided one it probably wouldn't work and two he didn't want to encourage this behavior in the future.

The emotions emanating from her said she was scared to death of the violence her emotions brought out in her, but attempting to hide from him was self-indulgent crap and he wasn't going to allow her to do this to them again. He grabbed the packs and headed out stopping after only a few feet. He checked for her phase pistol in the side pocket, and tossed T'Pol's pack back in her direction. "You can carry this yourself." Still a little peeved at her for making him chase after her, but also thinking if she chose to remain here, she would need the supplies.

He'd walked for what felt like miles, but he hadn't really kept track of the distance. A series of Vulcan words were playing through his head. He wasn't sure what the words meant but he'd come to think of them as their version of 'ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall'. A song-like phrase about a 'tcha'be'she', which for some reason brought forth a picture of a worm burrowing through the sand, kept repeating over and over. Where the words came from he didn't know but he had to keep reminding himself to forget it was about a bug, 'don't think about the words just let them keep you from thinking about the monotony of this endless walking and how pissed you are at T'Pol'.

T'Pol was up and moving. He guessed she was less than a mile behind him now. He'd just kept walking, reciting to himself, while projecting calm to T'Pol and checking the bond leaving no doubt that he was monitoring her condition to ensure that she was unharmed.

The farther away he had gotten the more unsettled her mind had become until the need to exert control and find her mate overrode all else. Trip was discovering he had an arsenal of tools at his disposal when dealing with his irrational Vulcan mate because of their history, because he knew her so well, and because of their bond. Mastering these techniques would be a challenge, but nothing about being involved with T'Pol thus far had been easy. Whenever he'd tried to be a normal, understanding, loving guy with her it failed miserably. He was learning he had to sometimes be assertive and demanding to counter that rigid, unyielding, self-loathing Vulcan side of her.

He became cognizant of the sound and smell of water. He changed direction to follow his senses. And there it was. The most beautiful body of water he'd seen in some time. Several smaller tributaries feed into the pond and the current was moving fairly rapidly from a few.

When his boots came off the stench from his socks was strong. He didn't bother to remove them and stuck his feet over the edge of the rock he was perched on. It was warmer than he would have liked, but it was welcomed none the less. His undershirt and boxers came off and he stepped down into the pool. It wasn't deep, but when he sat down the water reached his chin.

His clean clothes had dried in the sun on a nearby rock while he soaked in the pond and he was now in search of several flat rocks, which he planned to use to try to line a hole and heat some water. The bond told him no one but T'Pol and the occasional flying insect was nearby, so he remained totally at ease as he searched the streambed and gathered the plant material he needed.

Trip grabbed the nearest tree when he felt the release come from T'Pol. He also felt her moving quickly towards him.

He had no idea how long he'd sat there when she finally reached his side. "Are you injured?" T'Pol dropped her pack and began looking for signs of what was wrong. She focused on his injured ear.

"No. It's just so quiet." He still felt light-headed. "What happened to all that noise?" Trip motioned to the back of his head not believing all the clutter that normally floated around in his head was just gone.

"The distance between myself and Lt. Reed is sufficient to block any external sensory input from him which allows my mental barriers to block out all the rest." T'Pol had also noted the respite from the emotional static she normally had to shield herself from.

"You have to be alone to shut out all that noise? Why didn't you ever tell me?" Now he knew why she insisted they take it slow with the bond. If he had gone from what had been normal quiet for him, to what he now realized he had unknowingly built a tolerance for, he'd have gone insane.

"For a Vulcan it is always like that when around other species. On Vulcan it is less so, but even there we must keep up barriers to protect ourselves and others from the constant barrage to our senses." T'Pol had become so accustomed to the humans around her it was now normal. How could she explain what it had been like those first months before she learned how to protect herself? Then again after several weeks in the expanse and with the loss of control she suffered.

"Why haven't I ever noticed this before? And when was the last time it was this quiet for you?" Trip couldn't believe how light he felt. Why hadn't he noticed it was quieter here with only Malcolm, T'Pol, and the wildlife nearby?

"You once told me humans heard what you described as white noise in the background and simply filtered it out. Vulcans meditate or filter all the noise out, but I am unable to do this as effectively as I once did so unless there are no sentient beings within range of my senses it is never quiet." No Vulcan could block it all out all the time. "You have slowly been tuning in to my perceptive abilities and sharpening your own all the while learning to filter the noise out or simply ignore it."

He could not believe he had shut out that much and hadn't realized it was even there. "So the perfect vacation for us is going to be when we're absolutely alone?" That would be the only way to ensure this kind of peace and quiet.

"That would not be perfect for you, so no." T'Pol knew Trip, like most of the Humans she'd met, enjoyed being active when he went on vacation. He had told her many times he came into space because he loved seeing and doing new things.

"If it means feeling like this it will be more than perfect for me. When we just lay together, not talking, or thinking, or anything its one of the times I really love being still, but that's nothing compared to having just you and me in my head like this. He didn't have words to describe how he felt. He reached out and took T'Pol's hand, closed his eyes, and quietly held it.

His father taught him how to be still and usually he could only do this when in the water. While teaching him to swim his dad had taken him to the river, put him in a vest, tied it to his tube, and let him go. Trip had pulled the tube and swam, but mostly he'd laid back, closed his eyes, and floated. He became one with the water. When he was older and had learned to dive, he sought that same calm and quiet under the water. With the right dive partner, he could simply float along, feeling the water wash away the tension, and let go. He'd could never explain to T'Pol why he loved to dive because he didn't know how to describe it before and he hadn't known how much he missed it until this moment.

"Now you understand why Vulcans find the human version of relaxing unsatisfactory. It would only add to the 'chaos' as you've described it." To T'Pol it was how her Vulcan mind worked, but she could see how Trip would see it as chaotic.

"I didn't say all our vacations needed to be quiet, just some so we can actually rest and relax." Finding total solitude wouldn't be difficult in space. They often encountered planets and moons that would be perfect. Convincing the captain to let them spend time alone on any of them might be a challenge though. He wondered if he could find a way to block the crew's emotional outburst somewhere onboard Enterprise.

"Let's just take advantage of this time and rest." T'Pol knew Trip had been unable to relax for days now because of the instability he felt coming from her and Malcolm. The realization that with their bond he would, no longer find quiet solitude unless they were alone hadn't totally registered and with the day, he'd already had, T'Pol wasn't anxious to impart that bit of news to him quite yet.

T'Pol was trying desperately to direct his attention elsewhere to avoid the issues she found uncomfortable between them. She had done it easily in the past, but Trip wasn't about to let her do it this time.

"We can't rest until we settle what happened earlier." Trip studied her face. "And don't you dare give me that look." Her eyes hadn't moved yet, but he knew they were on the way.

"You are angry?"

Man, she had a gift for trying to put everything in the simplest terms possible. "Not for the reason you think I am." He knew she thought he was upset at her loss of control.

"I am a Vulcan and allowed myself to lose control. It should not have happened."

"That's bull and you know it. You didn't want me to see you lose control and now you're worried I'm going to reject you because I saw you at your worst." The fear rolling off her was palpable.

"It is the most likely outcome." She said this with acceptance in her voice.

"Stop that. I'm your mate T'Pol and you've obviously spent too much time around humans if you think I'm going to buy this load of crap. Did you honestly think with your difficulties we would get through this relationship without me ever experiencing that side of you?" Even without her control issues it was unlikely he wouldn't see her lose control at some point. What he'd seen today wasn't even the full on paranoid, homicidal Vulcan nature he knew existed deep within her.

"It was possible, if not probable." T'Pol knew better, but she had hoped.

"Wasn't that what that ceremony was all about? Removing our doubts. Or was it just my doubts about you taking a hike again?" She had told him he wouldn't have to doubt her anymore. He assumed it removed her doubts also.

She remained quiet, as she had no answer for him. Where was the anger he kept trying to convince her he felt? He said he was upset, but his words were entirely too rational for that to be so.

"I spent months ranting and raving about killing a whole race of people to avenge Lizzie's death and you saw how black and hollow my insides were in the expanse, but I get a glimpse of the same kind of darkness in you and what? You think I didn't know it was there or because I'm human and not Vulcan I can't understand?" Trip sent the rock he had been holding in his hand sailing through the trees.

"We are taught to see this part of ourselves as repulsive and for us there is no excuse for allowing it to come forth. It is logical to assume a human would be appalled by our true nature." Especially one who was bonded to an out of control Vulcan.

He couldn't maintain his anger. Hours ago stomping through the woods, he was raging at her in his head, but now he just wanted it all to stop. At some [point Trip had latched on to the idea that all her efforts were for naught. Why waste his energy being so angry, when all he had to do was wait until the inevitability of their situation dawned on T'Pol.

He wasn't just any human he was her human bondmate. He took her hand again. "You're repulsed so you expect me to be. Well I'm not. It scared me. Actually it scared the hell out of me, but not because I thought you'd hurt me." The bond protected him. He suspected that part of its purpose was to instill such an instinct to protect one's bondmate or the whole of the Vulcan race would have perished centuries ago during their most violent period.

He was safe, but he could not protect those around them. "I was afraid you might hurt Malcolm and I wouldn't be able to stop you." He would have had to stun her if she had attacked him and he didn't want to have to find out if he could point a weapon at her and actually fire it. Intentionally hurting her for any reason seemed impossible and with the added influence of being bonded he feared there were forces at work that would prevent him from ever doing that.

T'Pol caught the fleeting moment of terror that struck him. She had pushed him so hard and so long in the past that it had almost destroyed what they had between them and she was doing it again. If Trip hadn't determined that he needed her and suppressed his own desires to allow her to find her way through all the doubts, fear, and pain where would she be? Where would they be? "These doubts have nothing to do with you and..."

She stopped when she heard him laughing to himself as thoughts about the futility of her efforts ran through his mind. Their bond had removed all his doubts and replaced them with the knowledge that she could never truly shut him out again. Vulcan or not T'Pol could not erect barriers or find a place to hide where he could not reach her, if he truly wished to.

His thoughts weren't clear but she got enough to understand. Her bondmate wasn't rejecting her for her loss of control as a Vulcan mate would have nor was he reacting as a human male would. He was acting with pure logic. Although she suspected the most human part of him had injected a very large dose of patience.

Trip saw the change in her demeanor and smiled leaning in to see into her eyes more clearly. "The light finally came on in there? If you want to keep fighting this go for it, but I'm not participating anymore. When you get tired of trying let me know. In the meantime I'm going to finish putting some of my engineering skills to work with Malcolm's botany lessons to make something that resembles soap or at least something that makes me smell better." T'Pol's control was still wavering, which concerned Trip but not enough to let her off the hook. The why of her behavior made no difference so he let it go and concentrated on what steps he needed to take to force T'Pol to use that logic she was so proud of and face a few realities she seemed to be ignoring.

When Trip pulled himself up she studied his face. "You wish me to remain here?" T'Pol asked looking around the spot he'd obviously decided would be their camp for the night.

He started back down the stream picking up flat rocks and chucking them into the pile he'd accumulated earlier. He stopped and turned back. "I wish for you to do whatever it is you think you need to do. You're the Vulcan half of this Vulcan bond but maybe you need to spend some time figuring out what that means because right now it appears the human half has a better grip on it than you do." He turned in search of more of the plants Malcolm had spent hours identifying and talking about when he made the mistake of bringing up his scouting days.

---

Trip returned an hour later to find T'Pol missing after having made a firepit, in which she had already added wood. The bedrolls had been laid out and what appeared to be a selection of fresh greens, and several other fruits and veggies he'd not seen before, had been prepared to cook for dinner.

Trip dug a shallow hole near the edge of the water, which he then lined with the flat rocks and a claylike substance, he'd mixed up, to seal the cracks between them. Water was then added and heated when he aimed his phase pistol at the rocks. The plants were placed in the pool to slowly release their musky fragrance into the warm water.

T'Pol skirted around the camp quietly. Aware that Trip must be waiting for her to approach him, but unsure as to how to do this. He was no longer angry not that he really had been angry by the time she caught up to him. With the lack of sensory input from others, T'Pol had a clear picture of his emotional state. He was mostly calm and relaxed and she wished him to remain so. T'Pol stood back and watched as he washed himself with the liquid in the makeshift bowl he had created. She breathed in the mixture of the musk and his scent allowing it to strengthen the fragile barriers she had finally managed to erect around her volatile center.

Trip also breathed in the scent of the musk and let himself slip into a semi-meditative state. He did not meditate daily, but found it helpful when his thoughts were in such disarray that he couldn't organize them. He needed to let all the stress of the day go and simply allow T'Pol time to find her way through the turmoil her nature had thrown her into.

T'Pol watched him thinking how unbelievable it was that he honestly thought he had relinquished all control to her. She could not understand how he could not see that his making the decision to be with her no matter what and then telling her was the first step of his asserting control. He so underestimated his insight and inner strength.

She marveled at what she had first thought of as his ridiculous assertion that he had 'a better grip' on things than she did. After meditating and reflecting on their time together the Vulcan decided, she may be older but she was beginning to discover it didn't always make her wiser.

T'Pol sensed he knew she was near. "Trip." She called out tentatively.

He turned and smiled at her. "Yes."

"Am I disturbing you?"

A laugh came forth that started deep in his belly. "Are you kidding? Come here." He opened his arms to her.

She moved into his embrace with some hesitation until she felt his hand stroking up and down her spine making strategic pauses at the most sensitive of her neural nodes to apply just enough pressure to be effective before moving on. "If you'd like we can have dinner then lie down together and enjoy this solitude as you wished to earlier." T'Pol missed snuggling up to sleep with him. With Malcolm present touch between them had been limited to the times they could manage to get off alone together.

"It's a date. It might be some time before we have the chance to just be quiet like this again." Trip knew the calm and quiet were the best medicine for her right now. The unsettled state of her mind had improved allowing her barriers and control to be put firmly back in place, but he wanted her to bolster them by drawing strength from his physical closeness. With no outside interruptions for the night, she could concentrate solely on using all her energy to find her sense of balance once again.

"New rule. No running, hiding, or attempting to shut each other out." This was her way of letting him know she understood why he was upset with her without going through the whole discussion again. She was accepting the reality that their bond was now strong enough that she had no place to hide from her mate.

Trip smiled inside. When this whole concept of rules started, he had thought it was fun and light-hearted way to begin building something between them. Over time, he'd begun to see them as T'Pol's way of acknowledging what she found difficult to express. Vulcan training with it rules, laws, and strict codes of conduct had been instilled in her from birth and had dictated most of her adult life. He'd never been much for strictly following rules, but it was what worked for T'Pol and he'd even used their rules as a way to negotiate around or through some touchy areas in their relationship himself.

"Sounds like a good rule all the way around to me." He pulled her in closer. It was all he'd wanted from her. He'd had to accept many changes this bond created for him and now she was going to have to do the same.

"Now what's for dinner? All this exercise today has given me quite an appetite." He'd munched on some berries he'd found in the woods earlier, but that had been it for the day.

Dinner was done and the couple laid on the bedrolls snuggled up together enjoying the fire and the peaceful evening. Trip laid there letting the emotions between them float back and forth like waves lapping at the shoreline then receding. The quiet soon lulled them both into a meditative state. After several minutes of being there Trip wondered what he needed to do to keep this strong a hold of T'Pol in his consciousness once Malcolm rejoined them and then when they returned to Enterprise. He wondered what the impact of returning to the ship would be now that he knew how much noise and chaos he'd been experiencing.

T'Pol awoke to find her mate laying there concentrating on something.

"Malcolm's about half a mile away I think. It feels odd that I know that, but I can also isolate which emotions are which. Must be because there was only him when these feelings showed back up again." The time and distance thing had to be because Vulcans had this innate sense of both and he was just picking it up through the bond. He'd managed to find a way to isolate T'Pol and keep their connection as strong as it had become since yesterday. Because he had been listening so intently he also began to see why T'Pol was having so much difficulty. Even in her sleep he could feel the emotions and chaos hammering at her. Once Malcolm rejoined their chorus he could feel the tension from him beating like the drum section - long and loudly. He had automatically blocked it out. T'Pol's barriers came up also, and they held strong but once they returned to Enterprise Trip knew those defenses would not be impervious to the constant drumming.

"Have I always been able to do that?" Trip assumed the answer was yes and wanted to know if he would be able to differentiate individuals when they returned to the ship.

"For some time now, but it has been a gradual process so went unnoticed. Your empathic ability may not be as strong as a Vulcans but it will become uncomfortable if you allow it to." T'Pol had waited until Trip's own mind made him aware of the sensations and impressions he was now able to discern from those around him. For the most part, he would continue to incorporate all the 'noise' together and push it from his consciousness.

"This is really strange and I'm not sure I like it. It takes a lot of concentration to separate them and the more people there are the harder it's going to be." The facts of what this bond truly meant was finally starting to come together for Trip. He had known this intellectually, but not really known it practically until now. His mind was always going to be more open and receptive to those around him. He could ignore the chaos and noise or lock it away in the back of his mind, but without effort it would never be totally quiet again.

"You will be able to get a slightly better sense of individual emotions of those near you when you focus on them. On Enterprise it becomes very difficult due to the number of individuals and the strength of emotions." 80+ life forms meant the full range of emotions were being experienced by several of them at a time so matching a particular emotion to one particular person was unlikely unless you were isolated with only a few of the crew, in close proximity, at a time. T'Pol had always focused to erect barriers and block them all out for her own sanity. The only person she had ever purposely separated out was Trip. And now she wasn't sure if that had been her or the bond.

The closer Malcolm got the more intense the sensations became. He obviously had not used the time alone to work out his stress. And judging by the feel of things Trip could only guess that he'd been brooding about what happened to Hoshi and how to fix things between them. His major concern had been whether she was still on the planet unprotected, making her vulnerable to the wildlife, or possibly being claimed by any unattached male who wanted her.

"Malcolm how's the headache? Any better?" Trip quipped when Malcolm broke through the tree line.

"My headaches worse, but I'm learning to just forget about it." He snapped, trying to avoid looking at Trip.

"Okay. Maybe we should just let you concentrate on that then." Malcolm's expression suggested to Trip that the headache no longer had anything to do with the memory alterations and even if they had anymore analgesic for humans it would be ineffective. He whispered to T'Pol. "Looks like we're going to be glad we recharged our batteries. He's ready to kill somebody."

"Perhaps it would be best to be more professional." T'Pol surmised that as First Officer she had to find a way to keep Reed centered on duty and not on his personal problems.

"Lt. Reed would you consult with Commander Tucker on the best path to our destination. It is possible we could reach this body of water today if we keep focused and moving at a steady pace." Even if they didn't reach the water, it would keep the Lieutenant active and busy.

Trip moved toward Malcolm. "I checked yesterday and it seems we're within 10-12 kilometers. If we carry some water and snack along the way we should be able to cover a good portion of that distance well before dark." Malcolm must have started walking right after sunrise and kept up a fairly fast pace to reach them this morning. While the terrain wasn't flat, it wasn't overly hilly either. After a short break they started off. Trip thought it would be a good workout for them all and maybe help Malcolm work out some of the tension he wasn't dealing with. At the very least he would be exhausted by days end and maybe sleep better.

---

"Malcolm what the hell are you doing?" Trip watched as he fired his phase pistol into the pond.

"Catching dinner?" Malcolm fired again toward the movement under the water.

"You're trying to catch fish with your phase pistol? I think it works better to cook them after you catch them." Trip had never been a fan of cooking fish whole and burning them to death didn't sound appetizing at all.

"We don't have fishing poles and unless you have some super skill at catching them by hand there's little choice." Malcolm was hungry for something besides fruits and greens.

"I know you're upset but taking it out on the fish isn't going to help. Take some deep breathes and then let's try using some of that training of yours and spear them with these." Trip held up several weighted, pointed sticks he'd prepared earlier. "Less chance of them tasting burnt before they've even been cooked."

Malcolm held up one of his victims with a gaping blackened hole through it. "Never thought about what the heat would do to the flavor. Burning up half the fish to kill it is probably not the best idea."

"Especially if you're with a Vulcan. Bad enough that they're dying as far as T'Pol's concerned, so let's try for the most humane way possible. It will make things easier all the way around."

Malcolm took aim at the fish swimming by. "So what's next? We're at the water and still no villages or people. I assume you want to head down the shoreline." As much as Malcolm hated the water, it only made sense to stay near it, as it was still the most likely place to find civilization.

Trip caught the look on Malcolm's face as he stared at the fish he'd speared floating by. Trip waded in to retrieve it knowing his friend would have gone in after the food, but also knowing it would have been difficult for him to walk into the standing water even though it was only a pond and not the much larger lake nearby.

"T'Pol says we go west. Not sure why, but it doesn't really matter if we're only guessing anyway." Trip had tried finding higher ground and even climbed a tree again to search the shoreline for any signs of inhabitants, but there were none. The opposite shore was too far away to be seen clearly and there were no signs of anyone having been in the area. Whoever had chosen this place to exile them had chosen well. There weren't even any signs of animals nearby.

---

"Someone down there knows where my people are?" Archer had talked to every person he could and they either evaded his questions or had no idea what he was talking about. The Chancellor was one of those being evasive and their conversations had become nothing more than shouting matches.

"Captain there's a blip on the sensors. Its coming from the most southernly part of the hemisphere but it appears they are human biosigns." Riley wished the officers to return soon because Archer had become impatient because he could do nothing and had resorted to yelling at everyone. The ensign had silently done the job his commanding officer, Lt. Reed, had trained him to do. He and Ensign Simms, who was Commander T'Pol's second, had been running scans, from each of their stations, over the entire planet recalibrating them each time a complete cycle had run. Their diligence finally paid off.

"Good work Ensign." Archer told the young man. Knowing it wouldn't make up for his short temper and rudeness over the last several days.

"Ensign Simms has been working with me. He deserves some of the credit too, sir." Riley and Simms hadn't slept more than a few hours a night and then only when Dr. Phlox insisted they get some rest.

"Simms, good work." Archer turned to the young ensign who was still actively scanning the area where the biosigns had been picked up.

"Scans indicate there are multiple biosigns present. Two human and one Vulcan. Our people must have moved away from whatever has been shielding them from our sensors."

"Ensign Riley put together a team and met me in the transporter room as soon as we're within range."

"Sir, I strongly recommend we transport a communicator down to their location. If you wish to send someone I'll pick a couple of security crewmen to go down with the communicator. But it might be safer to speak to them first and then transport them back rather than send more people to the surface until we're sure all the Saperes are accounted for." Ensign Riley wanted to be sure their officers hadn't been taken over like several of the Prestorians and diplomats had. They should be kept separated from the rest of the crew and especially the captain until they had gone through decon and Phlox had cleared them.

"Can the transporter be calibrated to scan for any signs of the Saperes?" Archer figured out what the young ensign was concerned about. He had a valid concern. Trip had been susceptible to being taken over or influenced by sentient beings in the past, so it was likely he could be a target of the beings here also.

The sensors did not register the biosigns of the entities. "No sir, but we can instruct Ensign Dodge, the medics, and security to wear EV suits while they escort them to decon." Ensign Riley had listened to Lt. Reed's complaints that Captain Archer had a tendency to overlook safety protocols on away missions. He'd get a full head of steam, charge off without thinking, and not take weapons or any precautions that might be necessary. Reed impressed upon the Ensign that it was their job to keep the crew safe even from their own eagerness and stupidity.

Archer heard Reed when the ensign spoke. The tactical officer constantly reminded him not to ignore protocols and put himself and the ship in unnecessary danger. "Make all the arrangements, Riley. Ensign Mayweather take us to the coordinates Ensign Simms is going to give you. Let us know the minute we're within transporter range." Archer ordered.

"Yes, sir." Came the response from all three young men.

"I'll be in the cargo bay filling Dr. Phlox in. He'll need to get decon ready." Archer knew he'd have to find a way to flood the decon chamber with the EMS waves. It was the only way to force any of the beings out into the open so they could be seen, captured, and transported to the holding area down on the planet. The Chancellor and the other Prestorians had requested that the Saperes be placed in holding until they could determine if they could restore the beneficial relationship they once shared or if the Saperes were going to have to be exiled elsewhere.

Archer had thus far avoided the cargo bay where Dr. Phlox and his medics were holding the diplomats from the conference. After much cajoling Starfleet had agreed to allow the captain to forcible remove the Starfleet personnel from the planet. They had all lost their short term memory so were less than cooperative when they arrived on the transporter pad. Shortly thereafter, the Andorians and Ossarians, after reading Starfleet's reports, requested Enterprise remove their diplomats also. Dr. Phlox needed them where he could treat them and sickbay was too small, as was the brig. The cargo bay had been emptied and secured to hold the personnel until their respective governments could arrange for their transport home.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Chemical Vision – Part 1 of 3**

"Doctor, when can they be released?" Archer asked with impatience. His bridge crew had been MIA for days now and he wanted to know they were okay and back at their stations.

"As soon as I've determined they are free of any biological infestations. They have yet to be subjected to the EMS waves. It should only be 2-3 more hours if everyone would simply go away and let me complete the procedures." Phlox was becoming irritated at the constant interruptions from those telling him to hurry up, which only made the whole process take longer. This and the fact that while the commanders had excused themselves to the shower area and applied both part A and part B of the decon gel treatment to each other in a matter of minutes it had taken Lt. Reed over an hour to complete the process, after insisting he had to shower and put on clean underclothes first.

"I'll be on the bridge. Call me as soon as they've been released." Taking the hint Archer strode out of the decon area.

"I'm sure they'll want to go to the Mess Hall immediately after being released." Phlox hollered after the captain knowing they'd been eating greens and fruit for days now.

---

"Did you see that? I swear I just saw one Andorian chasing another down that corridor." Trip looked at his companions after double-checking down the long corridor.

"Are you sure those EMS waves didn't affect your brain? Last time I checked there were no Andorians on Enterprise." Malcolm reminded Trip.

"Didn't the Captain say something about bringing some of the diplomats aboard. Were some of them Andorians?" Trip hadn't been paying close attention but was sure he'd heard that.

T'Pol filled in the blanks for them. "If you had been present when the Captain stopped by Lieutenant you would have heard his report that there were Ossarians and Andorians on board."

Reed had missed that bit of information. "Ossarians as in the thieves who stole half our supplies and hid them in that sphere?" They had transported into engineering, shot Trip's crew, and taken whatever wasn't nailed down. Then moved on to the cargo bays and emptied out all their supplies.

T'Pol gave Malcolm one of those stop being judgmental looks that was wasted because only Trip would notice. "Just because we encountered some Ossarians that one might consider less than friendly does not mean they are all unfriendly." At the time of the attack T'Pol had stated that the Vulcans had had encounters with the species before and there had been no reports of piracy but no one seemed to have heard that.

"I know, but he's right it can't hurt to be cautious. Isn't that what you all keep trying to beat into my head?" Trip rebutted with more than a little agitation in his demeanor.

"Using our own words against us to justify a lack of empathy is not acceptable." T'Pol told him in the closest thing to teasing she ever did in an attempt to deflect some of the emotions she felt coming from Trip.

"That's not fair and you know it." Trip almost yelled back at her.

His response startled both T'Pol and Malcolm. T'Pol reached out and took his hand. "You really need to relax Commander. There is no need for concern. The Ossarian ship departed with their Ambassador just before we were transported from the planet." She knew he was feeling slightly disoriented being back on Enterprise, feeling all the emotions of the crew in their bond and through his own empathic sensitivity. Trip had been trying to hide his increasing discomfort from Malcolm as they moved out of decon, where the shielded walls had offered some protection from the full impact of all the noise.

The tone of her voice momentarily snapped him out of his own head. "I need to go back to our quarters. I'll meet you in the Mess Hall later." Trip said as he took off down the corridor for the turbolift to 'B' deck.

"Is he alright? He looked a little pale." Malcolm asked T'Pol as he watched Trip hurriedly walk away from them.

"He will be fine. Perhaps it would be better if I were to get his meal and take it back to our quarters. We can have dinner together in the Mess Hall later." T'Pol recognized he needed time to make the adjustment. The huge flood of emotions was overwhelming after the break, especially now that he was aware of their presence.

"Actually I wouldn't mind that. The doc said they managed to erase all Hoshi's memories of being at the conference. I'd like to make sure she's really okay before I go to lunch." Phlox said she has been transported from the conference room with the other Starfleet personnel. The doctor had placed her on light duty so Malcolm knew she should be back in her quarters by now.

T'Pol started into the Mess Hall leaving Malcolm in the corridor heading off to find Hoshi. Before she was inside, she felt Trip losing his battle to assimilate all the emotions he was being barraged with. She turned and left.

The door closed behind her and she quickly moved to the floor. "Trip, it's me. You need to relax your barriers. Do not block it out. Do not try to separate the emotions. Instead push them all together."

Trip was on the floor with his legs tucked up under him, arms tightly wrapped around his chest, and rocking on his lower legs. "It too hard T'Pol. How do you do this? There's so much pain and..fear?" He could feel all the uncertainty he knew had been created by their disappearance and waves of fear still ebbed and flowed throughout the ship.

"You cannot think about that. You're not ready to try to deal with individual emotions. Just push them all together and then block it out like you've been doing all along." He'd been doing it without thought and his mind knew how to protect itself if he'd just relax and let it happen. 'I should have prepared him.' She chastised herself for assuming he could handle this because he had done so before.

"Can you block you out until I can figure out how to do this?" Trip bent over, eyes closed, pushing his forehead against the floor. He began mentally forcing himself to let go of the emotions and concentrate on letting his mind erect the barriers that had been there before.

He felt T'Pol recede from the bond. He took in several deep breaths and became aware of T'Pol's fingers rubbing the back of his head. Focusing on that sensation back and forth allowed him to let go of everything else, which gave his mind the break it needed. The sensations were lessening as he stopped feeling and processing each of the emotions that invaded his mind. Several minutes later, all the noise receded to the back of his consciousness and became the white noise he was accustomed to being there.

He let his body roll over and laid down of the floor, facing T'Pol. "It's better. You can come back." He closed his eyes waiting for the sensation that told him she was there. "Tell me this gets easier and please don't tell me it takes years of training." He could feel her struggle to maintain control with the added stress being back on Enterprise created, but there wasn't any pain involved.

"It was not easy when I first came aboard Enterprise and while we were in the expanse, but it can be overcome. It becomes automatic if you focus on something else and don't fight it." He'd done it on his own so she knew next time it would be easier and he'd know what to do.

Trip saw the bond as a very good thing but there were days. "So are you hungry or would you like to stay here and help me meditate?"

T'Pol could feel his apprehension about seeing people before he was sure he was ready. "We are to meet Malcolm and Hoshi for dinner. Would you like to meditate together?" T'Pol asked knowing when he comprehended what she'd said what his answer would be.

She'd taught him how to meditate but they'd always done it separately. "Why haven't you ever suggested we meditate together before?"

"If I had what would you have said if I then insisted you learn to meditate on your own?" T'Pol could always have assisted him with his shielding and meditation but wished for him to be capable on his own. The fact that he was human left them both unclear as to exactly what the human brain was capable of, so allowing him to adapt and discover all his strengths and any weaknesses was a challenge they both had to come to terms with. The ease with which she had entered his mind when the entities had attacked him made it necessary for her to begin preparing him for the added intrusion of her thoughts and eventually words in his mind.

Trip cracked that all knowing smirky, smile of his. "You really know me too well. So how do we meditate together?" Trip sat up and waited.

"Take my hands. What do you focus on to relax and calm yourself?" T'Pol asked trying to find a common focus for them both.

"I usually just clear my head and focus on the quiet. If I'm really wound up and that doesn't work I try to focus on whatever sound I can hear." There were many to choose from on a starship.

"Let's focus on the quiet. Do what you usually do. Just focus on the quiet while visualizing that place you hold the bond in your mind." T'Pol closed her eyes and did the same.

Trip felt himself let go and float like he always did but when he opened his eyes he wasn't where he usually went when he meditated. Instead, his was in a room with scenes painted on the walls around him. "T'Pol where is this? I can see you."

"It appears to be my mediation space with some added scenery." T'Pol looked around at the walls. Her normally white space had been adapted so his aesthetic requirements were quietly met.

"This is where you meditate?" Trip saw a beach on one wall, what must be the Fire Plains on another, an underwater scene on another, and the last wall was a garden of some sort he thought he recognized but then again he didn't.

"These walls are white when I meditate, but the Fire Plains are obviously from my mind and the beach and water are from yours." She studied the garden for a moment. "The garden looks similar to my foremothers, but it is not that garden." The garden was familiar and it wasn't. The bond must have constructed this place from both their minds.

"I usually go to the beach where I grew up because it's always been a place where I was comfortable and safe. The garden looks a little like the one my grandma had. I spent hours sitting in it listening to her stories and I always snuck tomatoes out of it." Trip saw his beach in the scene on the wall opposite the garden. I don't understand this. Can we just come here whenever we want?"

"For now we must both be concentrating but that will change over time. Eventually you will simply meditate and concentrate on the bond. It will let me know that you wish me to join you here. If it is possible I will. Later you should be able to simply concentrate on the bond and join me here without meditating."

"You mentioned talking to each other through the bond but nothing about this."

"After the incident with the Saperes I became aware that this was possible between us. Speaking to one another and freely sharing thoughts through the bond is the only thing left. The rest is only strengthening of the bond as it exist now."

This was more than he was ready for. It scared him a little to think that someone else would always be able to enter his mind at will, to see, and know everything.

"I will not know everything and my mind will be just as open to you here. We each must construct a place in our minds that is private and know that the other will never enter that place without permission."

"So I have to concentrate on you to do this?"

"Yes. It would be uncomfortable and distracting otherwise." He needed to relax and stop thinking. "So what do you do when you go to your beach?" T'Pol asked not knowing if he just sat or perhaps walked.

"Sometimes I just sit and watch the water or sometimes I walk down the beach, but mostly I just sit quietly and don't think about anything. Isn't that the point... to free your mind?"

"That's what I do to clear my mind and strengthen my control. From what I've read humans meditate for different reasons and in different ways. Some clear their mind to relax, others use other techniques to rejuvenate themselves, and some use it to alleviate pain. I'm sure there are as many different techniques as there are reasons to meditate." T'Pol wasn't feeling any particular need to meditate herself so she was willing to explore whatever technique Trip found most helpful for himself.

"We can explore new techniques some other time, but right now I'd just like to sit here quietly holding hands if that meets with your approval." T'Pol was right he needed to stop thinking. He needed to reinforce his hold on his emotions and his confidence in his ability to withstand the emotional explosions this most recent adventure had imposed on him.

The door chime sounded abruptly pulling both from their meditation back into the real world. "Come in." Trip yelled cursing under his breath at whoever was at the door.

Jon saw the strained look on Trip's face and T'Pol's immediate less than positive reaction to his presence. "Phlox said you two went to get food and something to drink. But Malcolm said Trip ran off and he left T'Pol at the door to the Mess Hall. When I spoke to Chef, he said none of you had shown up there so I got concerned. Is everything all right?"

"We're fine Captain. I'm just having a couple of re-entry issues." Trip didn't want to explain, so he hoped Jon would take the hint, and leave it alone.

"If you say so." He assumed the issues had to do with the bond between them so didn't even bother to ask. Archer knew it made the tension between them increase every time he tried, unsuccessfully to get them to discuss their bond.

"Just needed some time. We'll be back on duty in the morning. Doc gave us his usual instructions to get a good meal and a good night's sleep. Personally, I want a long, hot shower." It felt good to return from a mission unharmed, but he still felt sore from sleeping on the ground and all the exercise from walking and climbing trees.

"Are you free for dinner? We can exchange notes on what's been happening the last few days." Archer asked having missed sharing meals with them in the last few weeks.

"I'm sorry. We made plans to meet Malcolm and Hoshi when I couldn't make it to lunch." Trip knew Jon would be disappointed, but it couldn't be helped. "Maybe we can have breakfast in the morning."

"That sounds good. 0800 okay with you?" Archer asked.

"We'll...I'll be there." Trip changed his answer realizing he shouldn't be answering for T'Pol. It was over the line personally and professionally there were more than lines he'd be crossing if he ever attempted to dictate her actions.

"T'Pol are you going to join us?" Archer hadn't made it an order and had little doubt that she wanted to beg off and even if she showed up, she would sit there quietly unless they were discussing ships business.

"I will be there." T'Pol agreed to go because she could feel how much Trip wanted her there.

"See you in the morning. Get some rest." Archer turned and left.

When the door closed, Trip studied T'Pol for a minute. "You really have to give the guy a break. I know you're still angry and you don't want to have a full on personal friendship with him, but could you please just be civil to him off duty. It's making things really difficult between us."

T'Pol didn't understand male bonding or human friendships. "Why would I have any affect on your friendship? You and the captain were friends for years before we met and you should still be able to be friends now."

Trip threw up his hands. He wished he could figure out how to explain this. "Maybe if we weren't on a starship in such close confined quarters we could. We'd meet at a bar on the weekends, have a drink, watch water polo and talk, but were not and you and Jon work together and have a professional and some sort of twisted personal relationship, so it's impossible to keep it all separate." Trip tried to think of some way to make her see how the overlapping of their professional and personal lives was unavoidable. "You're friends with Hoshi right?"

Still unsure of what being a friend really meant T'Pol didn't fully commit to her answer. "Hoshi has expressed that she considers us friends."

"Well, Hoshi and Malcolm are together and how would she feel if you refused to spend any time with Malcolm or treated him like you treat Jon? And how would that affect your working together?" Trip could see she was giving his words due consideration.

"She would most likely be upset. It might make her think I disapproved of their relationship and make our time working together on the bridge tense." T'Pol had agreed to date nights with the couple for that very reason and because Malcolm and Trip were friends. She then understood that she and Hoshi were friends as Trip had explained it to her or Hoshi's feelings wouldn't have mattered to her.

"You don't have to be best friends but could you try to stop avoiding him and be less hostile when we see him off duty. He's really sorry about what he said and how he reacted." T'Pol had been professional and interacted with the captain while on duty, but those interactions were very formal. Because she had been trying to be less rigid and formal with her speech and her manner with the rest of the crew, especially in her off-duty time, it became obvious when that strict formality reared its head with the captain. Malcolm had commented on it several times, but only as an observation.

"I'm not sure how to accomplish this." There were different levels of friendship that T'Pol didn't understand or hadn't witnessed, so she didn't always understand how one was expected to behave in such situations.

"Just treat him like you do the rest of the crew for now. Let all the anger go and just start over with him." Trip wasn't sure how that would work in practice, with their history, but it was the best he could do for now.

"I will try. I do not wish to be the source of any discord between you and the captain." T'Pol's reasserting of her Vulcan training did not mean she wished to interfere with Trip's friendship with the captain. She would just have to try to relax a bit and suppress her emotions better where Jonathon Archer, the man, was concerned.

"Thanks." Trip took her hand and kissed it. She let her barriers down slightly with Malcolm and Hoshi and had been guilty, in the past, of showing her emotions in Jon's presence, but Trip knew it made her feel less a Vulcan every time she publicly allowed an emotion to slip through. Her behavior, which had given free reign to her most volatile emotions in the past, had tormented her and had been part of the reason she pulled away from him. Fear of losing control and losing her identity as a Vulcan were always very prevalent in her thoughts.

T'Pol stood, then pulled Trip to his feet. She pulled him close and began kissing him.

"I just got my barriers back up and you want to tear them all back down again?" Trip teased her.

"Not exactly, but I would like there to be something pleasurable for you to think about." T'Pol continued kissing him.

"Okay, but we're supposed to meet Malcolm and Hoshi for dinner in a little over an hour."

"It was not my intention to do anything that would make us late. I only wish for you to relax."

"So what exactly did you have in mind?"

"In some of the movies you've invited me to couples often go to a secluded place in a vehicle and kiss." When they had watched they movies T'Pol had seen no point to such activity but now she found kissing to be enjoyable.

Trip shook his head. She was talking about necking in the backseat of the car. "You do realize that's usually what happens before a couple actually engages in sexual relations. We have definitely done this all backwards." Trip smiled thinking T'Pol definitely kept things interesting and kept him off-balance, but in a good way.

"We both need to get clean so perhaps while we accomplish this you could explain this activity in the seclusion of the shower as we do not have a vehicle." T'Pol knew this would distract and relax him while forcing him to be in control.

"Necking in the shower. It'll be more comfortable than being in my car ever was so I guess if you require some hands on instruction we could give it a try." Trip took her hand and lead her to the shower. "I'm not sure how you think this is going to relax me."

"Can you not find pleasure in kissing without it becoming sexual?" T'Pol was sure he could, but just had never considered it.

Trip stopped. He was at a loss. When had he ever been involved in making out with someone when he didn't want it to become sexual? Actually to his mind it didn't become sexual it was sexual. "Can't say I've ever tried. Since I was a teen with my first girlfriend kissing didn't always lead to sex, but I sure always wanted it to." Then it hit him. That was until he and T'Pol became close. He had stopped making sex a requirement for intimacy between them and she was asking him to continue making that a part of their relationship even though they were working on their sexual intimacy.

"Think of it like neuro-pressure. It may become more but it does not always. And you still find it pleasurable and intimate." This was a part of intimacy that T'Pol had not fully explained to Trip when he'd asked her about the various meanings it held for Vulcans.

As they stepped into the shower together, "So kissing just to enjoy being with you and nothing more." Trip found it sad that most other species would always see the Vulcans as closed off and cold because they protected the intimate side of themselves and allowed no one but their mates to even know it existed. But he understood that keeping that part of them hidden was the only way a normally logical, controlled Vulcan would or could justify allowing any familiarity with another.

---

"Malcolm cut them off at the next junction." Trip yelled into his communicator while following their route on his tricorder.

"They've just passed it. There are days I wish I was smaller." Malcolm had always wanted to be taller but today he wished his body could shrink. He hated climbing around up here and he'd been chasing this pair daily it seemed.

Trip laughed at that statement. "If you get any smaller you wouldn't meet the height requirement for Starfleet." He saw a flash of bodies headed down the farthest shaft. "Can you cut them off over the galley?" They had to catch them there or they'd be into the densest part of the shafts and neither Trip nor Malcolm would be able to follow them.

"I doubt it. I'll have a team waiting for them when they exit the maintenance shaft." They had been up here for what seemed like hours trying to box the Andorians in and he was tired. There were only two ways out from where they were so he'd leave some of his men here to force them out one of those exits.

"I can't get to them from here, so can you just bring them to the captain's ready room once you have them." Trip had worked out his proposal to Fric and Frac as he'd come to call them. This morning's upgrades had shut down the hot water throughout the ship and caused several angry reports to flood into engineering. Evidently, the hot water had cooled by the time the Andorians took a shower and they took it upon themselves to increase the efficiency of the entire system. Trip had known there was an issue with inadequate hot water at times, but it was a low priority repair, so it had not been addressed. The same thing happened when the drink dispenser on their deck malfunctioned. It and the other two that were out of service on the ship were suddenly reported to be working perfectly.

---

He talked to the captain for some time to convince him he knew what he was doing. "Captain please say you're okay with me assigning them engineering duties?" Trip had decided it was better to put their expertise to use than run around trying to stop them or having to certify their clandestine work according to Starfleet reqs. He was used to doing things on the fly but wanted to get back to a normal routine not have his work load and allocation of supplies being determined by two Andorians who were not interested in the best use of the limited resources Trip had at his disposal.

"I'm not sure we can trust them, but if you think you can get them to agree we can try it. It's a far better solution than locking them up in the brig with a 24 hour guard or having you and Malcolm in sickbay nursing cuts and bruises from climbing around every shaft on this ship." Archer had already ordered them held in the brig once and they had been out and back at work on a new project two hours later.

"Well, if they don't I'll personally lock them up and make sure their superiors know what they've been up to since they got here. Shouldn't be too hard to convince them." After asking the Ambassador how two such talented engineers ended up as diplomatic assistants he determined the Andorians were going about teaching their wayward youth all wrong. Evidently, the pair was easily bored and staved off that boredom by taking on independent repair projects wherever they were. In an effort to teach them something, although Trip was not sure what, they had assigned the young engineers to the Ambassador, as his assistants.

---

Trip stomped down the corridor on his way to see Malcolm. His entire morning had been ruined when he tried to access his command functions for engineering and little green sticks started dancing across his screen. It had to be Malcolm, he was the only one with the expertise to carry out such an elaborate joke, and would think it funny to put one over on Trip.

"Lt. Reed, where is he?" Trip's tone let the ensign he was speaking to know he was in no mood to be messed with.

"He's been working on the phase cannons sir." The ensign pointed to the door at the other end of the armory.

Trip stormed off in that direction, but stopped at the entrance when he heard the all too familiar rant being directed at the computer screen Malcolm was currently actively engaged with. His British accent became pronounced when he started with his litany of bloody hells, bollucks, and wanker. "Having some difficulties I see." Trip felt slightly embarrassed that he had been about to accuse his friend of being the culprit behind the computer glitch.

"This bloody thing keeps firing the phase cannons into empty space. The captain's calling down here every 5 minutes telling me to make them stop and every time I try these little wankers show up dancing across the screen and then the whole system locks me out." Malcolm turned off the power and crawled under the console and began pulling various components out in an attempt to clear the memory so he could reboot the system. "Are you going to bloody stand there or are you going to help me before we start a war."

"The captain should have enough goodwill built up with the Andorians to convince them we aren't attacking them if they show up." The Andorian diplomats and their staff were still onboard awaiting pickup by an Andorian ship.

"Well, the Andorians aren't the only ones out here and with our luck we'll hit any passing ship that gets within range. With the system active the targeting sensors will automatically engage if a ship gets close enough." Frustrated that Trip wasn't readily offering his assistance Malcolm angrily continued working.

"So if you didn't reprogram the computer who did?" Trip was well aware that there were only 3 maybe 4 members of the crew who had the know how.

His head came popping out. "I suppose the captain thinks I had something to do with this too." Malcolm looked incredulously at the engineer.

"Haven't seen the captain yet so I have no idea what he thinks." Trip said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Why exactly are you here?" If the captain didn't send him to assist in the Armory Malcolm wanted to know what it was he'd needed. "Wait a minute you thought I did this? Some friend you are."

"I didn't know about the cannons. These little green mutants are dancing across my screens in engineering. It seemed like your weird sense of humor at work so...." Trip almost felt bad. But only almost. "Do you know of any of the crew that would do this?"

"No I don't. But let's get back to you thinking I'd sabotage the computer. For what... a joke?" Malcolm feigned hurt feelings, but in truth it wasn't to far off that he might have reprogrammed the software in engineering but there hadn't been much time recently for practical jokes and both he and Trip had been too preoccupied with their personal lives to engage in that type of behavior in months.

"I'm sorry but you have to admit there aren't many people on this ship with the expertise. T'Pol wouldn't and I didn't so that left you and Riley as far as I know."

Reed had been too preoccupied with stopping the cannons to consider who was responsible. "Riley wouldn't do it for fear I'd bust his arse back to private. So if none of us did it we either have a skilled computer programmer we're unaware of on this crew or a saboteur." Malcolm was leaning toward the saboteur, as no one on the crew would have kept their talents with the computer hidden while they were in the expanse. Everyone had done whatever was needed to complete that mission.

"It's not Fric and Frac although I'm convinced they're both capable, but they gave me their word and I actually trust them." The two Andorians had been dutifully completing each and every task Trip had assigned them and he hadn't received one complaint from anyone. They were currently trying to track down the recurring problem in Sickbay. His crews thought they had found and corrected the problem with the power, but Phlox had complained about fluctuations again.

"I can't see them risking sabotage to a ship while they're still on it. And what motive could they have. You've bent over backwards to give them something to keep them busy and out of trouble. And you promised to put in a good word with their captain when he gets here and suggest he try a new tact with them." Malcolm had been impressed when Trip managed to convince the troublesome Andorians it was in their best interest to agree to assist in engineering rather than have the captain and engineer report their mischievous behavior to their superiors when they arrived.

"I don't know, but I'm heading to the bridge to talk to T'Pol. Don't reboot this system until we have a better idea of what's going on. You're right we shouldn't let the phase cannons fire randomly into space." He focused on T'Pol hoping that would alert her that he was on his way to the bridge.

When Trip stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge, he was greeted with a nearly apoplectic Archer staring at green figures dancing across the vid screen.

"T'Pol what have you found?" Archer impatiently inquired.

"Before my system went down my scans indicated the entire computer system has been compromised." T'Pol was trying to reboot her system when Trip interrupted.

"Engineering and the Armory have both been affected. Lt. Reed's currently disabling the phase cannons. I need T'Pol to come with me to the command center. We can access everything from there." The engineer was beginning to worry what other systems were going to develop problems.

"T'Pol get to the Command Center and see what you and Trip can figure out. Ensign Sato contact Lt. Reed and tell him to join them as soon as he is able." Archer turned to stare at the screen again.

---

"Commander before we attempt to access the command functions from here lock out all incoming access to the computer in this room. Whatever is affecting the main system must not reach this system." T'Pol had insisted they install the proper security measures and separate power to protect the integrity of the system in the Command Center while they were in the expanse. Now they were going to see just how effective they were.

"Yes ma'am." Trip replied as he worked his way to the panel to start the security programs and block all incoming traffic to the computer. He felt that twitch from T'Pol again. "Do you want all incoming traffic blocked or should a request be required for access?"

"All traffic until we have determined the nature of the problem."

"You should be all set." Trip stayed where he was waiting for T'Pol to access the command menu. He watched as the menu appeared on the vid screen.

T'Pol scanned through the sensor readings. "Someone is accessing the main computer. It appears they are searching for something."

"Can you tell if they are engaging the phase cannons?"

"The main search is in the weapons routines."

"Malcolm powered the phase cannons down and I told him not to reboot them until we knew what was going on." He was glad he'd paid attention to what Malcolm had said and ordered him to keep the cannons offline.

An ensign came through the door and addressed T'Pol. "Commander the Captain says to tell you Lt. Reed thinks he saw something off our starboard. He's requesting you run scans to see if you can detect a ship."

"Tell the captain and the lieutenant we will contact them once the scans are complete."

"Yes, ma'am." The ensign left.

"Commander, would you adjust the frequency on the main sensors up 10 microns."

"Yes ma'am." There it was again. A little twitch coming from T'Pol.

Trip made the adjustment then asked T'Pol, "Is there a problem, Commander?"

"None that I'm aware of."

Trip knew better but let it drop for now. "Look." Trip pointed to the vid screen. They watched the warp trail moving quickly away from Enterprise.

T'Pol set all the sensors to the highest sensitivity and began gathering as much information as she could before the ship was out of range. "They must have detected that we were aware of their presence."

"We really need to work on some security measures for the computer. This is the second time in the last couple of months that we've had a security breach."

"I will collect all the data available on these incidents and we can discuss this project with the Captain and Lt. Reed." T'Pol knew Trip had made several request to Starfleet for research and development data as had Lt. Reed. They may not consider it a major issue but it was becoming apparent that more and more species had technology or were developing technology that Enterprise was susceptible to.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Chemical Vision – Part 2 of 3**

"Captain is Lt. Reed available? I could really use his help with these weapons system interfaces." Tucker had been routing and rerouting power and components all morning and the system was still not responding.

"He's still working to get our weapons back online. We need him to finish so I can't spare him. Can T'Pol be of any assistance?" Archer was reluctant to interrupt Reed's progress. He needed their systems up and running as soon as the tactical officer could manage. Malcolm also had the brig to rewire after the Andorians had escaped. Trip had offered to have the pair undo what they'd done, but Reed had insisted he wanted to take care of it on his own. Something about seeing exactly how they gotten around the various security codes and locks and finding ways to prevent the same thing from happening in the future.

Jokingly he responded. "She'll do. We're taking a break for lunch here so can you send her over in about an hour." Trip had been invited to join the Captain and her crew.

"Sure thing. Archer out."

Trip watched as the new wave of females paraded through the area introducing themselves to each member of his team. Captain Migor said the crew complement was 48 females and 3 males. At this pace, he was sure they'd get a glimpse at all of them.

---

"I tried Jon I really did but I swear right after I said it looked good and started to pick it up with that fork thingy it scampered off my plate. My chair went flying backwards and I landed on my ass." Trip let an embarrassed chuckle slip out.

Archer roared with laughter. "I would have loved to have seen that but we're really going to have to do something about sending you to other ships."

"It's good to be back to meeting new species and I'm sorry if I made a bad impression but there's no way I want my noodles wiggling their way to my stomach." Trip couldn't think of any way he would have been able to sit through that meal. Just thinking about the live lunch sent chills down his spine.

"Just write it up. And don't worry about it; we can't reprimand you for being squeamish about having to catch your food before you can put it in your mouth. Just try to be on your best behavior for the rest of your time there."

"I'm always professional and the perfect gentleman." Trip smiled.

Archer knew Trip always tried to put his best foot forward, but often found he let his impulsive exuberance for discovering new things and meeting new species take over. "So, other than lunch how'd the rest of the day go? It seems to be taking you longer than your estimate." Archer wasn't sure he wouldn't have had the same reaction if his lunch moved so he let that go but he was concerned because the repairs were taking longer than the engineer had indicated and he needed to know how much longer he thought they would take. He was needed to get Enterprise back in shape.

"It's the strangest thing. The crew is mostly female and it sure seemed like most of them stopped by to introduce themselves. A few started hanging around and distracting my guys. Kind of slowed things down." Trip had had to reprimand his crews a couple of times for taking extended breaks to talk to their visitors.

Trip stopped talking and seemed to focus elsewhere. "I'll be right back." He stood, hit the button on the wall to open the door and there stood T'Pol in the corridor.

"Good evening Commander." T'Pol entered on her way to her chair.

"I swear I felt..." She was angry with someone but as Trip looked around, he saw no one. "And we're off-duty so what's with the Commander?" He stepped out into the corridor to look around.

She stepped back and grabbed his hand. "I was simply distracted. Trust that there is no need for concern. The Riccian male I encountered earlier wished to speak to me, but changed his mind." For the second time today, the Riccian had tried to engage her interest. The first had been when she came to assist him on their ship. A male had appeared and immediately invaded T'Pol's personal space. He continued to make a nuisance of himself until T'Pol finally returned to Enterprise, at Trip's request, so he could concentrate on his work.

Trip accepted what she said even though he didn't know what had changed his mind and he could still feel some uneasiness coming from her. "If you say so, but if he bothers you again I want to know about it." Trip was as close to her as he could be without actually making contact.

T'Pol nodded her agreement and addressed Archer. "Sorry I'm late Captain I was unavoidably detained." T'Pol took her place at the table.

"That's okay Trip was just telling me about lunch." Trip's expression said he was upset but Archer decided it must be a personal matter so decided to let it go.

---

At Trip's insistence, the Riccian captain had ordered the males to keep their distance from the crew of Enterprise and neither Trip nor T'Pol saw them again. The females were a different story. Both Trip and T'Pol noticed several of them taking tours of Enterprise and interacting with the crew in the Mess Hall and the Rec Room. They were on Enterprise, at all hours, and several of Enterprises male crewmen were spending a good deal of their free time on the Riccian ship. The crew had always been free to interact with the crews from other ships but never before had so many found a reason to visit back and forth for prolonged periods of time.

"I swear I'm going to have to track Malcolm down and see if he can post guards just to keep my staff at their post and doing their jobs. Systems are malfunctioning all over the ship and they either wander off from their assignments or fights break out between them over one of those females." The same guys seemed to be fighting continuously over the same female and the gals were becoming downright hostile to their male counterparts.

"They seem to have invested much time determining which males aboard are attracted to each individual female." T'Pol had been hyper-vigilant about observing the way each female sought out the particular males that were attracted to them. There were crewman who had wives or girlfriends and normally avoided flirting or any suggestion of inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex openly engaging in very charged sexual exchanges.

"You know you might be right. They keep making a point of introducing themselves to me. Of course they don't know I'm spoken for but they keep trying." Trip had come to the conclusion the females were trying to tempt him but hadn't said anything to T'Pol. He wasn't interested and he had learned to block out most of the uncomfortableness brought on by the bond so he didn't see the point. But now it was looking like they just might need to pay closer attention to exactly what the Riccians were up to.

"Perhaps we should discuss this with the captain. Have him issue an order that all males refrain from any interaction with the Riccian crew." T'Pol wished to stop them from having any further influence over the men and keeping them away from the docking bay and off their ship seemed a logical first step.

---

"Tucker to Commander T'Pol."

"What do you need Commander?" Frustration was coming through in T'Pol's words and actions of late.

"Have you located the Captain?"

"Sensors show him in his quarters, but the lockout code has been input and he is not responding to hails."

"Is he alone?" Trip assumed the answer was no. Why else would the captain lock everyone out?

T'Pol rechecked the sensors. "Yes."

That wasn't expected and made Trip worry more. "Meet me outside his quarters."

Trip then commed Malcolm. "Tucker to Lt. Reed."

"Reed here. This better be important. We've got our hands full trying to keep the crew at their duty stations." He and his staff had finally gotten all the crew back on Enterprise and were standing guard in every department. Crewmen had been leaving their posts, attacking one another, or messing around with one of the females all over the ship. He started out placing the more disruptive crewman in the cargo bay, but soon had to lock them in their quarters to prevent them from injuring each other and the security teams in the constant fistfights that ensued.

"Mal, is there an override for the Captain's lockout code."

"Why would you need to override the captain's code?" What would be the point of giving the captain a lockout code and then have a code to override it?

"He's locked himself in his quarters and he's not responding to hails."

"Well under normal circumstances I'd say no, but judging by how the rest of the men on this ship are acting I'll see what I can do. Give me a few minutes." Malcolm enjoyed having something to do but did his workload have to constantly go from nothing to do to more than any one officer could possibly keep up with.

"T'Pol and I are on our way to his quarter's so comm us or just meet us there. Tucker out."

Reed showed up at the captain's door and Phlox followed right behind him. "The only way to get in there without the captain's codes for access to the computer is by cutting through the door unless you two..." He pointed to the commanders. "...can help me figure out how to short out the locking mechanism." Malcolm was well aware that Rip could bypass any lock and had both a torch and the tools he thought they'd need to do just that.

"Doc, do you have any idea what the Riccians are up to." Trip asked while beginning to remove the cover from the wall.

"They are releasing chemicals to attract the males and those same chemicals and the males' behavior is creating hostility amongst the female crew." Phlox watched as the import of his words sank in.

"Puts a whole new spin on gals using sex to advance their agenda. But do we know what that agenda is?" Trip looked to Phlox and T'Pol.

T'Pol had been studying the data they collected when the cloaked ship tried to retrieve information on their weapons systems. "It is possible we encountered them earlier. I believe they may have been responsible for accessing our computer system and are now trying to complete their original mission." It was the only logical explanation for what was happening.

"They were in that ship that disappeared?" Malcolm considered the possibility.

"I believe so." T'Pol responded.

"If at first you don't succeed change tactics." If this was true and they had accessed the weapons systems before, that was still the likely target Malcolm surmised.

The doctor explained that every person was different and as such they each responded to different pheromones. Each of the females must be exuding a unique combination of chemicals, which only a small segment of the crew would respond to. It was only a matter of time before the right female matched herself up to all the appropriate male members of the crew.

"Phlox can you come up with a way to neutralize the chemicals they're hitting us with?" The doctor was their only hope, now, of stopping the female's manipulation of the crew.

T'Pol had the strongest science background and that would be of help to the doctor. "I will assist the doctor in Sickbay. Commander Tucker and Lt. Reed will remain here and get the Captain back to the bridge."

Trip informed the anxious Denobulan before he had the chance to object. "Don't worry, we'll bring the Captain to Sickbay if he needs your attention, doc."

Once T'Pol and Phlox left. "I see you're not affected and T'Pol doesn't seem to be having the same reaction as the rest of the women. Hoshi's being so hostile I'm trying to avoid her to keep from arguing." Malcolm and his security teams had been to busy to interact with the Riccians much so many of them had not been affected yet. But Trip and T'Pol had both been working on their ship. Trip most of all.

"T'Pol's Vulcan and they have some kind of protection against whatever this is. As far as my not reacting to them, I'm really not interested in other women. T'Pol's it for me and I'm not letting anything or anyone get between us. I spent way too much time and energy on this relationship to let some oversexed alien screw it up." Trip was protected because of their bond, but he hadn't told Malcolm anything about that and doubted he ever would unless it became critical to inform him. His reasoning for his immunity was true even if it wasn't very plausible.

"You've really gotten good at that you know. In the future, just tell me you can't talk about it. Anything's better than watching you try to be evasive or just outright lie to me."

Trip was startled by his words. "I'm sorry Mal. I've gotten so used to just deflecting interest in our private life that I do it automatically. And I have been evasive, but I've never lied to you."

"You don't need to say anything. I'm not asking any questions, but just know I really do understand more than you think." Malcolm read what was available about Vulcan mating and bonds. There was very little there but when he put it together alongside the behavior of both Trip and T'Pol over the last several months it was easy to draw certain conclusions. He wasn't interested in further details he already knew enough to do his job. More importantly, he was their friend and wanted to do what was best for them even if that meant keeping his mouth shut and not asking questions.

"Whatever you think you know please keep it to yourself. Vulcans don't even talk to each other about most of this stuff. We really don't want to be the cause of some huge diplomatic scandal because humans are privy to Vulcans most closely held secrets." And those kinds of rumors would fly through Starfleet. The more personal and private the juicier the stories and whispers seemed to get. Trip had witnessed Soval's anger before and he couldn't imagine his reaction to Vulcan mating habits being the hot topic for months on end.

"Well if their treatment of you is any indication they already know about you and T'Pol." When Enterprise was surrounded by the Vulcan ships Malcolm chalked their newfound acceptance of Trip up to his help with the Syrrannites and the Kir'Shara. But after translating Trip's warning to T'Ana's father and looking more closely at all Trip's interactions with the Vulcans Malcolm concluded there was much more going on than he had previously seen.

"Their culture imposes these rules of behavior on them so they aren't supposed to express their personal opinions if they can't suppress them so don't read too much into their behavior. They could all hate me and just be keeping it to themselves." Being bonded to a Vulcan put him in a special category that required that they treat him with respect publicly regardless of how they felt about him personally.

Vulcans were a perplexing people. On one hand, they professed the tenets of the IDIC, while on the other hand many abhorred the idea of interspecies relations. Trip had come to the conclusion that it was another case where the illogical culture of old; where the survival of the species depended on a strong, pure Vulcan bloodline; had run smack into the logical, rational modern era, where control and discipline was what now ensured the continuation of the species. It would take time for the new truths to become accepted and with the long life spans it took more time because the older more stuck in the past Vulcans hung around much longer and wielded power and influence.

Before Malcolm could comment, the door opened but Jon was nowhere to be seen. Porthos was laying on the floor focused on the bathroom door.

Trip tapped on the door. "Captain. It's me, Trip. Are you in there?"

After a minute Jon's head poked out. "What are you doing in here? I know I coded that door so it couldn't be opened." He entered the main area with a towel wrapped around his waist, having just finished his second cold shower.

"You disappeared in the middle of your duty shift without saying anything. Is everything alright?" Trip had never known the captain to take breaks during his shift, and he'd most definitely never taken a shower break.

"I just needed some time alone and I wanted to be sure no one could get in here. One of the Riccians has been following me all day and I needed to get away from her." Archer had been experiencing some rather unusual impulses in her presence.

"Sorry for the intrusion sir, but you haven't answered Commander T'Pol's hails? She's been calling for the last hour." Then he informed him about the door. "I'm afraid we'll have to install a new locking mechanism on your door." Trip made a mental note to get a crew on it as soon as they had time.

"So did something happen?" Time seemed to have slipped away from Archer if he'd really been in his quarters for over an hour.

"T'Pol thinks the Riccians were the ship that accessed our weapons systems then disappeared and now they're trying to get their hands on our weapons systems." Trip waited for his response.

"But the warp signatures don't match so how can it be the same ship?" Archer hadn't listened when T'Pol suggested it wasn't a coincidence that a ship that had lost their weapons showed up asking for assistance shortly after a ship had been caught accessing information on weapons in their computer system.

"They could have masked it somehow. From what I've seen on their ship they have some rather advanced technology, but it all seems a bit of a mishmash." That's why Trip had had so much trouble getting the weapons to come online. Very few systems were designed to work together and had been redesigned extensively by some very skilled engineers. But Captain Migor told them her engineers couldn't repair their weapons.

"Phlox and T'Pol think the Riccian females are putting out some pretty strong pheromones. It seems to be affecting most of the crew. All the male crewmen are going a little crazy over them and the women are all fighting mad. T'Pol thinks they're trying to influence us so they can steal our weapons systems." Actually, Trip wasn't convinced that was all they were after.

"They're trying to seduce the crew into letting them take the weapons?" Archer sat on the edge of his bed. The arousal and swirling in his head had both finally subsided.

"Seems like the only scenario that makes any sense. Not that the men aboard wouldn't be appealing to some of the females on that ship, but all of them seems a bit much. Security's tied up trying to stay unaffected and keep the ship running, while refereeing fights on every deck." Malcolm informed the captain.

"Once you get dressed we should get you to Sickbay and have Phlox check you over. He and T'Pol are working on a way to neutralize their pheromones." The captain seemed a little disoriented to Trip so he wanted the doctor to check him out.

---

Trip watched the Captain leave Sickbay to return to the bridge. "So how do these pheromones work? By smell or touch or what?" The engineer was sure this had been covered in his high school science classes at some point but because it wasn't related to anything mechanical, he most likely didn't pay much attention.

"Mostly through the olfactory senses. Some may transfer by touch but that would be later in the process." Phlox wandered off in his own mind for a moment. "Commander, you just gave me an idea." He reached into the cabinet and presented T'Pol with a familiar item. "Commander T'Pol we need to administer your nasal inhibitor to the crew." It was designed for Vulcans but would not harm humans.

"It would take time but I suppose we could do it. If we start with the security teams and then the most critical people, we might be able to stop them. Only problem is getting all these overly stimulated men and hostile women to agree to the treatment." Getting the thinking part of their brain engaged was not going to be easy and Trip knew this from his most recent encounters with his engineering staff.

"If the Riccians discover what we are attempting to do they may resort to more forceful methods." The females were a very determined bunch and if T'Pol was right their previous response to being caught was to withdraw and regroup so she had no doubt they had a backup plan.

"You have a point. More than half their crew is aboard and until we have enough of our crew treated they could do a lot of damage and if they manage to get their hands on any weapons we could be in serious trouble. We'll have to be careful and quiet." It was entirely possible they had gotten some of the security teams to break protocols and allowed them to bring weapons onboard.

"I'll go with Malcolm and his teams first. Doc, we need you to find a way to do this quicker?" The process would take time and having to use a new tube or disinfect it between uses made it take too much time. There was no way to quietly gather the crew in one place and even if they could the fights would make the situation impossible and a large group would attract the attention of the invaders.

"The medication must be administered directly to the nasal passages to ensure the concentration is strong enough to be effective." The doctor saw no other option than individual treatment of the crew.

---

"Hoshi you should be on the bridge or in your quarters until we get these aliens off the ship." Not wanting anything to happen to her and knowing how hostile she'd been to him since the females came aboard Malcolm practically ordered her away.

Ignoring the fact that he was a superior officer and speaking directly to Malcolm. "Don't you dare talk to me like that. I've been shot at and had my mind invaded more times than I care to think about and I've seen things I couldn't even imagine before and I'm still here so don't treat me like some squeamish little girl who can't fight back when she needs to." He of all people knew how much she had grown since coming on board Enterprise. He'd been with her on most of the missions that had forged that growth and had even told her how much he liked that side of her.

Malcolm had struck a nerve and he wanted to reach out and hold her to apologize but he couldn't, not now. "I know all that but you haven't been at your best lately so maybe you should sit this one out and let us take care of it."

Anger blazed across her face and she moved to within inches of Malcolm face. "With most of the crew under the influence I don't see that you have many options, Lieutenant. Commander T'Pol ordered me to come assist you in any way I could and that's exactly what I'm going to do." Hoshi had visited Sickbay and when she explained to T'Pol that the relaxation technique she had taught her was not being as effective as it should the Commander gave her the nasal inhibitor and then offered to perform the technique with her.

"Did Phlox find a way to help you because you do seem more focused than you were earlier?" Earlier she had come close to physically attacking him when his eyes averted to one of the Riccian females as she walked across the Mess Hall.

"I used the nasal inhibitor and then T'Pol helped me. She's really good at getting me to relax and focus." Hoshi was so grateful for T'Pol's ability to help her keep her emotions in check.

Reed wasn't so sure about the relaxed part of her statement but he searched her eyes for any signs of the earlier hostility and found none. "Okay you and a security team can go administer this nasal treatment to some of the crew. Be careful. They aren't likely to be cooperative." Malcolm gave her the inhibitor and showed her how to disinfect it then gave her a tricorder and several crewmen's names to find and treat. He also gave her a phase pistol. "You've improved so if you need to use this just think of it as practice and keep your finger and wrist relaxed. If you run into any trouble comm me, promise?"

"I promise and I'll be fine. Your teams are well trained and won't let anything happen to me. They'd be afraid of what you might do to them." Hoshi watched as the two men who were to go with her smiled back at her.

Malcolm couldn't resist and reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Glad to have you back. I was beginning to miss you." She was normally feisty and stood up for herself but had never really been angry or hostile as she had been the last few days.

"Where'd you send her?" Trip asked.

Malcolm engaged the last of the sealed doors in the armory, which wouldn't stop anyone determined to get in, but would slow them down. "To the bridge first to treat the Captain and Ensign Mayweather and then to the science labs." It seemed like the safest places to have her help out and she could fill Archer in on what they were up to. "I'll finish up here while you take care of Engineering. You'll know which of your people to treat first."

Trip wasn't thrilled at the idea of treating his crewmen because there were so many of them there on the day shift. If they decided to resist he could be in trouble. When he arrived in Engineering, he found he needn't have worried about that because there was no one there but the security team who had been left unconscious and tied up outside the hatch.

"Tucker to Lt. Reed."

"Reed here what's up?"

"Engineering is empty. I need a couple more bodies down here to monitor things while I figure out where my people are. I'm sending four of your people to Sickbay. They're unconscious." Trip bent down to check for pulses on each of them.

"Do you have a tricorder handy to scan for biosigns?"

"Mine should be in my office I'll grab it before I head back to Sickbay. We really need Phlox to find a treatment that's airborne." Otherwise, Trip was going to have to track each of his engineers down individually and treat them.

---

"Like I said doc send someone to get the rest of the security team and if you find a solution there's no need to let us know and risk the Riccians finding out. Just implement it the way Commander T'Pol showed you. It won't take us long to figure out what happened." Trip laid the crewman he brought to Sickbay on the empty biobed.

Deciding she did not want him moving about the corridors on his own T'Pol joined the Commander on his way to start tracking down his engineers.

"Lt. Hess is in the Mess Hall. We'll leave her until later when she's alone. Rostov is in his quarters but not alone. I suppose if I showed up there and asked to speak to him about why he's not in engineering his guest wouldn't find that strange." An inquiry from ones commanding officer was normal procedure on a starship.

The lift door opened and the Commander stepped in without checking to see if it was empty. A Riccian male reached across and removed his phase pistol from the holster at his side and confidently tossed it down the corridor. The other two advanced on T'Pol leaving little doubt what they had on their minds. They were concentrating on T'Pol. Trip supposed they were trying to do to T'Pol what the females were doing to the men.

Trip kneed the male that stayed with him doubling him over leaving his back in the perfect position for the engineer to bring both arms bent at the elbows down at the base of his neck. When the Riccian fell to the ground Trip turned to assist T'Pol.

The males began taunting both commanders. Trip caught the look in his mate's eyes begging him not to succumb to the jealous rage he was beginning to experience. He stopped, focusing, and feeling the support she was trying to give him. He finally started telling himself and T'Pol, "I'm not going to give them the satisfaction." Trip could feel their interest in T'Pol and his reaction but recognized they were trying to inflame his emotions to distract and overpower him. The urge to rip them apart was very strong but he put all his effort into keeping it at bay long enough to allow him to think rationally while still allowing him to use all that energy to defeat them.

T'Pol's eyes darted to his right to a spot behind the two attackers. Trip made slow but decisive movements to position himself on that spot. Once he was where she had directed him, she moved within striking distance of the male closest to her. Counting on the fact that they didn't know anything about Vulcans and most males assumed all females were weaker than themselves so would not find her nearness threatening in any way, she moved a step closer. The second male responded to the perceived threat her nearness posed and turned towards her. With her feet set and Trip ready and in the proper position she yelled "now" and watched as her mate followed her lead and went into an attack stance, catching both of the intruders by surprise. T'Pol connected squarely under the chin of her target snapping his head backwards while Trip came around with his hands grasped together and slammed into the chest of the second male as he whipped around to face him.

"Lt. Reed will be proud of your execution. You have improved under his tutelage." T'Pol commented as they dragged the unconscious bodies into a locked storage closet.

"It might have had more to do with my desire to rip their hearts out." Trip wasn't the worst fighter aboard Enterprise, Major Hayes, the expanse, and Malcolm had seen to that. Nor was he anywhere near the best. What he was was T'Pol's mate and his determination to protect her at all cost did not allow for a lack of fighting skill to prevent him from meeting that responsibility.

After stuffing the males in a closet and locking them in they retrieved Trip's weapon and secured another for T'Pol from the store Malcolm had insisted they put on each deck. They then took the turbolift to the crew quarters.

"We'll both go in when he answers the door. I'll bring him out here and see if I can order him to use this stuff." Holding up the inhibitor, Trip hoped Rostov would be cooperative. The thought of forcibly treating his engineers wasn't a pleasant one.

"I will keep the female busy." Bringing Rostov out into the corridor away from the Riccian should help clear his head, even if only a little, so the chief engineer could appeal to the crewman's sense of duty.

"Lt. Rostov, it's Commander Tucker I need to talk to you. Open up." Trip waited for some reply but when none came he pressed his thumbprint into the pad to override the lock and open the door.

He and T'Pol entered the room to find the engineer and the Riccian female involved in a heavy petting session. "Lieutenant, you're supposed to be on duty in engineering." Trip reached out, took hold of his arm, and pulled him upright. The female tried to stop him but T'Pol brought her arm forcefully down across the females to break her hold on the young man.

Trip removed Rostov to the corridor and ordered him to attention. After several attempts to persuade him to comply, first by reminding him of his relationship with Denise Kelly then his duty as an officer, Trip pushed him against the wall and began trying to insert the inhibitor forcibly. Rostov fought back, threw Trip across the corridor, and tried to return to his quarters. Trip grabbed his ankles, pulled him down to the floor, and tried again to insert the tube. He suddenly became aware of noise and looked up to see Fric and Frac drop out of the shaft above them.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad to see you. Where did you two come from?" Trip couldn't believe he'd forgotten about them.

Before they answered, one of them pulled Trip backwards and sprayed something into Rostov's face. The young man was out. "Dr. Phlox sent us. When we finished our assignment and came out into Sickbay, he asked us to use the inhibitor and to bring these spray canisters to you and Commander T'Pol. He says it will knock anyone out for several minutes if you spray it directly in his or her face. He suggests you keep a respectable distance away to avoid knocking yourself out."

That certainly sounded like Phlox. "Thanks it will make this whole process a little easier. He didn't send any for Lt. Reed and his crew did he?" No more fighting with the crew.

"He sent medics to find him and Ensign Sato. He said you'd most likely have another assignment for us." Both Andorians had eager expressions on their faces.

Trip treated Rostov while he talked. "I take it these females didn't affect you?"

"We barely find human women tolerable as potential mates and these females have a strange odor and ridges in some rather strange places." Both Andorians crinkled their noses and their antennae began moving rapidly.

Trip was slightly curious how they knew about any ridges and what exactly did they know about human females, but thought it wise not to ask. "I'd keep the first part of that statement to myself if you're even thinking about a human woman as a potential mate. And I'm not sure the Riccians would appeal to many of the human men aboard either if they didn't have those chemicals working for them, so it's good you both used that inhibitor." It wasn't that the shapely, scantily dressed females were ugly, but they had rather rough, strangely colored skin and just weren't at all appealing to Trip.

The engineer wanted to send the Andorian pair to engineering to keep an eye on his engines, but with T'Pol assisting him they were needed elsewhere. "I need to send you back to Sickbay to see what you can do to help Phlox with distributing this nasal inhibitor throughout the ship or at least larger areas so we don't have to go person to person. If the security teams aren't awake, you need to take their weapons. We're running short of security so you'll need to stay alert and keep yourselves and the doctor safe." Trip hoped Malcolm didn't give him a hard time about giving the Andorians permission to take and carry weapons, but he needed to know someone would keep the doctor safe.

The two Andorians climbed back into the shaft. "By the way what's your real names?" Trip hadn't bothered to ask.

"I'm Fric and he's Frac. Our names do not translate so are hard for humans to pronounce. We looked your names up in your database and we kind of like them." The mischievous pair found the nicknames appropriate.

"Well then Fric, do you two ever use the corridors?"

The Andorian motioned with his hand through the open space in front of him. "Why would we? We know our way around up here and it's much quicker than using the turbolift."

Trip could hear them bouncing ideas back and forth on how to get the crew treated on their way back the way they came. Deciding he couldn't wait for Rostov to wake up Trip entered his quarters and dosed the female with the sedative Phlox had sent him. T'Pol immediately tied her up and dragged her out and down the corridor to the first storage closet she found. Trip found a padd and wrote an order for Rostov to get to engineering and secure the area and placed it in his hands before they left. He then used his tricorder to locate the next member of his crew to treat.

---

"Reed to Tucker."

"How's it going Lieutenant?"

"I need some help down here. I've got at least four or five Riccians trying to get into the Armory."

"Are any of your people in there?"

"No we've evacuated the Armory and locked down all the weapons. The shutdown routine just finished so nothing is currently operational." Malcolm had done everything he could to hamper any attempts to remove the tactical systems. Not even the lights would come on forcing anyone who managed to bypass the locks to the individual systems to work in the dark.

Trip pulled up a schematic of the Armory. "Meet us in jeffries tube 16."

"Have you heard from the Captain or Hoshi?" Malcolm had asked Hoshi to contact him if she needed help so he was hopeful that not hearing from her was a good sign.

"No. We should have heard from the Captain by now." Neither Trip nor T'Pol could imagine him not resuming command as soon as he was able.

"I'll send someone to check on them. See you in ten. Reed out."

Turning to T'Pol. "Can you get a less localized and longer lasting version of this sedative from Phlox and meet us?"

"You are planning to sedate the Riccians?"

He held out the schematic he'd accessed on his tricorder and showed her what he was thinking. "I can isolate the Armory from the rest of the ship if we close the valves here and here then reroute the ventilation through temporary ducts. Have Phlox prepare enough of the sedative to fill one of the larger air tanks." In fact, Trip planned to flood the Armory with the sedative and keep a slow supply of it streaming in until they had secured all the females. The Riccians didn't have a transporter and Enterprises had been disabled so they would have to go to the Armory to physically remove the hardware.

---

When Malcolm finally arrived Trip's first question was, "Any word on the Captain?" He was anxious to know where Archer was.

"Hoshi found him and Travis unconscious on the bridge and had medics come take them both to Sickbay. I haven't had time to check on him." Malcolm was grateful that Hoshi had finally contacted him. She had completed her list and needed further orders but had been unable to contact Commander T'Pol.

"The doc's going to need an extra sleep cycle if this keeps up." Actually, they all were, but Phlox had been on duty for days treating the diplomats in the cargo bay then Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm were found. Now he was trying to find an agent to neutralize the pheromones, concocting various sedatives, while looking after the security teams, the captain, and Travis. Most of the rest of the crew of Enterprise would also be in his care soon.

T'Pol arrived with the tank and the three tapped into the ventilation system and watched from above as the sedative seeped in and the Riccians slowly fell unconscious. Leaving the setup intact with a slow release they then responded to a call from security about a riot in the Mess Hall.

T'Pol saw the look on Trip's face. She leaned into his ear. "The closer we get the worse it will be. Try to stay as relaxed as you can and focus." T'Pol hadn't experienced this level of emotions since the encounters with the Xindi in the expanse. It was more difficult for her to maintain control and she knew Trip would also need time to adjust to the intensity.

"I'm trying." Trip refocused on pushing the chaos out of his mind and keeping himself from becoming angry. Fighting T'Pol's emotions alongside the crews was making his own emotions and reactions seem foreign to him.

---

"Hoshi duck." Malcolm yelled as the plate flew towards her.

Hoshi dropped her head down and moved across the room to join the lieutenant and the commanders. "Thanks. Guess I should have been paying closer attention with all these fights."

"What the hell is going on?" Trip scanned the room taking in the several groupings of crewmen engaged in shouting matches, food and fist fights.

"Some came for food. Seems all the hormones and activity has increased their appetites and Chef and the rest of the cooks are all engaged elsewhere so no one has been manning the galley. I think some were lead here by the Riccians to instigate more fights." Hoshi had come here looking for Ensign Carter, her second in communications, and found this melee instead.

"Great we're fighting the Riccians and our own crew. How are we supposed to stop this before somebody gets hurt?" Trip questioned as he peeked into the galley where several crewmembers were fighting over the food several others were attempting to make.

Another plate flew by Ensign Sato's head. "If one more person tries to punch me or take me out with their dinner plate they're going to find out what the stun setting on this thing does." Hoshi held up her phase pistol.

Trip smiled at her. "Touchy aren't we."

"I'll stand here and throw plates at your head and we'll see how long it is before you want to touch someone." Hoshi held a plate in her hand.

"I thought your hostility was under control? You might want to think before you start shooting people. If you stun one you'd have to stun them all." Reed knew that would be impossible before someone was injured. "We could just lock the doors and let them go at it. They're bound to wear themselves out eventually." Reed and his people were stretched pretty thin and he simply didn't have enough teams left to assign here.

"Tucker to Phlox." They couldn't risk locking them in and someone being seriously injured or even killed.

"What do you need Commander? Dr. Phlox is busy." One of the Andorians answered his hail.

"We need several small canisters of that sedative he gave Commander T'Pol, now. Send it to the Mess Hall. Tucker out."

Trip looked around the room. He needed Hess and Johnson in Engineering but unless he could get them out into the corridor, he had no way to treat them without being attacked by the rest of the crew. More importantly, he needed them all quiet so he could form more than one coherent thought at a time. He'd just have to depend on the crew he could find in their quarters to staff engineering.

Reed realized what Tucker had planned. "I could use some of the crew in here but it's better to have them unconscious than causing trouble." The tactical officer agreed.

---

"Hey, Doc what are you doing here?" The lieutenant asked as he considered intervening in a fistfight behind them.

"I brought the sedative and an agent to counteract it. Assumed you'd need some of these crewmen awake if you're going to stop the Riccians. With such a large group I thought it best to be nearby to be sure no one has an adverse reaction." Phlox handed over a canister of sedative and a loaded hypo to each of them. "The hypospray will counteract the sedative."

Trip watched as Malcolm directed his people. "Doc, wait outside this door. The rest of you, when I say 'go' pull the plug and set your canister inside the door."

Trip let out a deep sigh and shook his head when the sedative took effect.

"Are you okay?" Malcolm saw the look of relief cross his face and the mental release of some enormous tension along with that sigh.

"I'm fine." Trip was going to have to learn how to hide his reactions much better to avoid questions in the future, but right now he needed to concentrate on what he needed to do. "Can your people take care of this?" Shaking off his fatigue he moved into the Mess Hall. "I'll treat Hess and Johnson and we'll head to engineering. T'Pol thinks we should shut everything but the essential systems down and lock out all the command functions until we're sure all the Riccians are off the ship."

"How are we going to get them off the ship without the rest of their crew knowing what's going on?" They couldn't just carry them through the docking bay and back onto their ship and place them in an unobserved location without tipping their hand.

Trip would have liked it much better if he could have released the docking clamps and detached the Riccian ship before they started this. "Let's sedate them all first then we can worry about what to do with them." Trip would have to discuss that little problem with T'Pol. Once they had them all unconscious they would be in a position to make demands of Captain Migor for their release. "Maybe we should have asked a few more questions before we started repairs on any of their weapons." Especially when their own weapons were offline.

---

"Commander T'Pol let me know if those readings fall below the safety levels. The reactor isn't shutting down and..." Trip continued to makes adjustments but the warp drive continued to ramp up.

"Commander you need to see this." Rostov yelled urgently as he watched the script scrolling down the screen before him.

"What the hell is that?" Tucker tried shutting down the injectors but the system did not respond.

"It appears to be a new subroutine." T'Pol answered dryly from behind them.

"I know that but do you have any idea what it's doing there?"

"It's most likely Riccian and since I do not know the language I cannot be positive but I assume it is meant to prevent us from shutting down the engines."

Trip moved across to the intermix chamber to attempt a shutdown from that system. He found himself being pleased that T'Pol was expressing a sense of humor but it was also ironic that he didn't know if it was his or her own.

A partial shutdown and system lockdown had been the plan but now he had to revise it. "When I say 'go' start at the far end and work your way back here and shut off everything." T'Pol moved to the first set of panels.

"That will mean you must do a cold start once we secure the ship." T'Pol knew that would mean hours and possibly days spent restarting the warp drive.

"Unless you know of a better way to get those new subroutines cleared out we don't have a choice." Trip knew that would leave them vulnerable if they encountered any other hostile species but a total shutdown and clearing out of all computer memory and data was the only way to rid them of this code.

"Perhaps we should advise Lt. Reed to begin restarting the weapons that do not require the main computer or full power from the warp drive." They had power cells stored in the cargo bay perhaps he could use them to power some of the weapons temporarily. With no warp engine providing power and the command functions locked out the main computer would be limited to life support, communications, and impulse engines.

"Let's get this shutdown first then we can assign some people to work on that and have him help us figure out how to power up the computer in the Command Center long enough to lock all the crew's quarters." He couldn't afford to get distracted during this shutdown procedure and he needed T'Pol's full attention or they'd risk causing damage to systems that would add days to the restart.

Trip moved atop the warp drive pulling access panels as he went. One by one he began flipping switches and pulling relays to begin the process of shutting down the warp reactor. "Go" he yelled as the last of the relays was removed. Just as T'Pol moved to the last panel a tactical alert sounded 'intruder alert' and they felt a huge jolt to the ship.

"Damn that's the docking clamps breaking lose. Someone must be in a hurry to get out of here." Trip's sense of the ship let him know that the Riccian ship had just broken away from Enterprise.

"If the Riccians are leaving then who was the tactical alert for?" The alert which was being silenced by a lack of power would have sounded if sensors detected unauthorized lifesigns on the ship. T'Pol knew the lieutenant would not have sounded the alert for the Riccians as they already were aware they were aboard.

"Reed to Commander T'Pol."

"T'Pol here." She reached across to answer the hail.

"We're being hailed. They want us to turn over all the Riccians we have onboard." Lt. Reed had left the Armory and was now on the bridge.

"Son-of-a-bitch. Can't just one thing go our way?" Trip continued with the shutdown procedure, which was almost completed, thinking this might not be the best time to be without engines.

**BnB:** Sorry no Romulans. Romulans = war and a bonded, committed TnT on a starship during a war is not something I can see being feasible so I'll leave that epic up to writers like Rigil Kent. I'm doing an AU (and MU plotline in the next series) version of some Season 4 events that makes more sense to me.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Chemical Vision - Part 3 of 3**

"Phlox wants us in Sickbay. Captain Archer is awake. We need to bring him up to speed before the Klengians figure out we've erected that force field." Trip, Malcolm, and the Andorians had activated the EM emitters, which Malcolm had long been trying to convince the Captain to incorporate in Enterprise's systems to protect the ship, around the cargo bay where the Riccians females were now being held to prevent their unauthorized removal.

"Hey Captain. You sure you're all right? You don't look so good." The darkened eyes with the pained and confused look in them left Trip wondering if the Captain was ready to leave Sickbay.

Archer raised his hand to stop him. "My head hurts a little and according to Phlox the chemicals aren't totally out of my system but he cleared me for duty if I stay here." Archer wanted to return to the bridge but Phlox insisted he needed to observe him for some time yet because his head wasn't clear. "He also tells me the Riccian ship left rather abruptly and we're in negotiations with the..."

T'Pol could see the Captain was struggling. "...Klengians. They want us to release the Riccians to them so they can use them to force Captain Migor to return what was taken from several of their ships. So far they have not exhibited any aggressive posture. We have been 'in talks' to give Commander Tucker and Lt. Reed time to secure the females and repair the tactical and engineering systems."

"What's the timetable for completing the repairs?" The Captain couldn't come up with a plan without knowing when he'd have power from the warp drive.

"The Armory is ready once the power is restored. Reed has distributed weapons to the crew and somehow managed to get one of the phase cannons powered up. Commander Tucker is ready to start the power up sequence. It will take 30 minutes for the system to cycle up before we can begin the restart of the warp drive."

Archer turned to Trip. "How long before we're up and running again?"

"If everything goes perfectly two hours. If not it'll be more like two weeks." That thought caused a tightening throughout his body. It would all depend on how much damage had been caused by the Riccian subroutines and the shutdown.

"Okay, you head back to Engineering and get us going. Once T'Pol fills me in on what I've missed she'll join you. Tell Malcolm to get the weapons online as soon as possible. I assume he has already posted guards on the Riccians." The strain continued to show on Archer's features.

"Actually we have a force field around the cargo bay but he does have security in the corridor just in case." The pair had allowed Fric and Frac to add some Andorian technology to strengthen and stabilize the force field. Once they were done, Fric and Frac assured Trip that with the revised specs and intact system he and Lt. Reed could incorporate it into the ship wide systems on their own. All they had to do was convince the Captain to let them.

---

"How's the Captain?" Trip asked the minute T'Pol came through the hatch.

"He'll be fine in a few hours. Lt. Reed reports his security teams have completed the deck by deck sweep for the females and the entire crew has now been treated and are awake. As soon as Phlox clears them most will be returning to their duty stations." His security teams had limited scanning abilities with their hand held tricorders but they had gone room to room.

"Perfect. The system is almost cycled up and we could use some help keeping an eye out for any signs of trouble." Trip began the restart procedures by inputting the specs for the proper balance of matter and anti-matter in the intermix chamber. "Can you start reprogramming the initializing sequence? The specs..." Trip stopped realizing the specs were in his head. It was one of the many changes he'd made when he modified the system last time they left space dock.

Seeing the far away look on Trip's face T'Pol inquired. "I assume that means they are no longer operating with Starfleet specs?" This was an ongoing problem with Trip. He made changes and failed to write them down.

"Hang on. If you'll grab the manual I'll recite them so you can write them down." One of T'Pol's pet projects was getting him to write things down as he did them instead of waiting to file his required reports with Starfleet to catch up on his documentation. At one point, the first officer had actually assigned an ensign to help him complete his daily paperwork on time. It lasted for two days because the Captain and Malcolm had hounded him so much about having a private secretary that he broke down and asked T'Pol to help him devise a system so he could get it done himself with as little fuss as possible. If it weren't for the fact that the information was only accessible to Trip, she might have employed the same tactic again.

T'Pol went to the rack holding the various engineering manuals and found the one they needed. When she returned Trip had completed the startup cycle for the intermix chamber and was reciting the sequence and specs into a recorder for her. He smiled and chuckled a little. "Don't give me that look. If I did everything the way you want me to it'd leave you with nothing to nag me about." He loved to tease her but she had never nagged him., she suggested.

"I could live with that." She deadpanned back but then he was so much better than how he'd started out four years ago that T'Pol had learned to pick her battles with him to keep the discord to a minimum.

The hatch opened revealing the return of the engineering crew and the two Andorians. "Rostov, Hess get your crews to their stations. If anything looks like it's going to redline let me know." Trip looked to the pair of Andorians. "I need you two to stay right there in case something goes wrong." The pair seemed to handle emergencies better than most and could think on their feet.

"Yes, sir." Fric and Frac watched as the crew scurried to their stations.

Trip half stepped half slide down the ladder. "Commander T'Pol once you finish here you need to start the sequence." He checked the plasma flow and the current power readings. He reached the bottom of the ladder and made the necessary adjustments. "Rostov I need you down here." He climbed back up to the main controls. "Okay, everyone look sharp and keep your eyes open."

The startup sequence completed. "Now." Trip pulled the levers downward as Rostov did the same.

Sparks flew as the plasma conduits overheated. Trip turned to see the Andorians move together to correct the problem. One grabbed the fire extinguisher and began putting out the flames as the other went to the panel and began making adjustments to the flow regulators.

Trip watched the readouts before him and listened as the hum of the warp drive leveled out and T'Pol commed the Armory instructing Reed to begin getting the weapons back online. He stood there taking in the comforting sounds of a fully functioning warp drive.

Fric and Frac heard the system stabilize. "With your permission Commander Tucker, we're going to go connect the permanent power lines to the EM emitters and setup the backup power system. Then we'll complete the specs and schematics." The Andorians had the power lines ready to go so all they needed to do was make the connections and make a few changes to convert the current power line into the backup for the force field. They wanted to be sure they were all done before the Andorian ship arrived to pick them up.

"Permission granted. And thanks for all your help today." Trip and his team were good but he would never have been able to complete the force field and gotten the warp drive up and running without them.

Fric and Frac just smiled. They wouldn't want to do it all the time but they really enjoyed it when they had to work under pressure.

"Archer to Tucker."

"Go ahead."

"I take it everything went according to plan?"

"Close enough. Once we've fully engage the engines, it might be a good idea to take it slow until we're sure there aren't any more surprises. I'll have Lt. Rostov run diagnostics just to be on the safe side." The engineer wanted to be sure there wasn't any hidden problems or damage they'd missed.

"I need you and T'Pol to report to my ready room as soon as you can." They needed to come up with a plan to deal with both the Riccians and the Klengians.

"We can be there in oh... 30 minutes or so."

"See you then. Archer out."

"I thought Phlox wanted him to stay in Sickbay?" Trip felt better when the Captain agreed to remain in the doctor's care.

"The Captain must have found it difficult to work from a biobed." T'Pol found the constant round the clock interruptions of people seeking the doctor's medical help or advice or his feeding routine or his failed attempts at being quiet to be very distracting on those occasions she found herself confined to Sickbay.

---

"T'Pol was right. This Kolkos assured me he has no intention of attacking us to get to the Riccians. I just don't know whether or not to believe him." Archer depended on his gut instincts in situations like this but found his judgment was a little off at the moment.

"I don't know, Captain, something just doesn't feel right." Trip insisted. If the Klengians, who appeared to be warriors, really wanted the Riccian females, Trip couldn't see them sitting on their backsides hoping to convince a ship full of human explorers to give them up.

"Malcolm says he'll have the weapons online in 15 minutes and the force field seems to be holding so we'll see what arrangement we can come to." Archer had already determined that they were going to have to find somewhere to leave the females if their ship didn't return so he saw no problem agreeing to allow the Klengians use them for negotiations for the return of their stolen parts, as long as they remained on Enterprise. The Klengians would locate the ship, which according to the Klengian's sensors, had gone in the general direction of Enterprise's previous course. If by chance they found the ship and came to a mutually satisfying agreement Archer could simply transport all the females back to their ship. Hoshi, with T'Pol's assistance, was putting together a report on the Riccians to send to every ally Earth had in the quadrant, making it less likely they'd find any unsuspecting prey in the future.

"I think I'll go see if they need any help in the Armory." Malcolm must be getting more than a little antsy by now having Enterprise so vulnerable.

"Go." Archer wanted weapons now. Sitting in space with an unknown species acting as their protector didn't sit well with the Captain at all.

Archer still had a ghostly pallor and it worried Trip. "You need to check in with Phlox you look terrible." Archer was obviously still in pain but he stubbornly refused to go back to Sickbay.

The Captain leaned on the desk letting his head fall slightly. "I'll call him. Just go get us some weapons. If you're right we're going to need them."

Trip started for the door and heard rattling throughout the ceiling. He reached for the comm button. "Tucker to Engineering."

"Rostov, sir.

"What's going on? Is there something wrong with the ventilation system?" His first thought was they missed something in the startup up.

"The Andorians came back and said they isolated the ventilation in the cargo bay so we've started purging the rest of the system and I sent teams out to clean the filters. The air should be clear within the hour."

"Thanks. Tucker out." The relief was easy to read in Trip's expression.

"Your two new crewmen seem to be working out well." Archer had been skeptical but had to admit Trip's command style seemed to suit the pair.

"They're two of the best engineers I've run into in a long time. I'll never understand what the Andorians thought they were doing making them into diplomats." They may have seen it as punishment but what a waste.

"Somehow I think they were trying to teach them discipline but maybe they just went about it the wrong way."

"I guess. They don't play well with others, but they follow my orders. Getting them to listen to anyone else is impossible still, but they're young and in time I think they'll be fine." Trip kept them working separately from the rest of his staff and reporting directly to him. To be assigned to a starship they would have to learn to work on a team.

"By the way where's their ship? Shran's always boasting about how much faster Andorian ships are compared to ours so what's taking them so long to come get their diplomats? We could sure use their help." No weapons being fired would suit Trip just fine.

"Admiral Gardner said the Andorians had some trouble with one of their neighbors and had to recall all their ships. Last I heard they were headed our way again." The Captain knew he shouldn't be but he was reluctant to have the Andorians ride in like white knights and save their butts again if this situation didn't go as planned. He still owed Shran for the last time.

---

"Are your security teams still patrolling the corridors?"

Malcolm's head nodded yes. "The Captain didn't think it was necessary but until this mess is straightened out and the Klengians are gone I'll feel better leaving them right where they are. Why?" He saw a faraway look in Trip's eyes.

"I don't know exactly but I've got to go. Get a security team together and come to the Captain's Ready Room." Trip picked up the pace, not quite running to the exit.

Something about his demeanor said there was trouble. "Hang on. Take this." Reed tossed him a phase pistol and ran to gather a team to follow him.

The turbolift stopped and Trip still had no clear picture of what it was he was feeling. When he put all his effort into concentrating, he could sense Archer's anger and disbelief. He stood outside the door and centered his thoughts on T'Pol. He let his mind float into that space in his head and there she was.

"What happened T'Pol?" They'd meditated together several times and Trip was used to this space but he wasn't used to visiting like this.

"The Captain and I were discussing the situation when Kolkos and two of his warriors materialized inside the door. They are demanding we lower the force field and release the prisoners to them or they are threatening to shoot us."

"I knew something felt off about them. So any ideas what we should do?" He was armed but there was no cover to protect the Captain or T'Pol from stray weapons fire if he were go in. He was beginning to feel fatigued.

"You cannot remain here much longer." T'Pol could feel the enormous draining effect the effort was having on him. "Find a way to disable them."

"I suppose we could sedate them like we did in the Armory but that means you and the Captain would be affected too." Stunning him at that hatchery, now knocking him out. Trip didn't like making a habit of rendering his Captain unconscious.

"Do what you must to keep this crew safe. And be careful."

"Yes ma'am." Damn there's that feeling again, he really needed to ask about it later. "Don't make them angry because this wanting to protect you is really overpowering and if they make any overly aggressive moves I may not be able to stop myself." T'Pol had impressed upon him the need to fight the instinctual nature of their bond at times like these but a trait both humans and Vulcans shared was the instinct to protect their family. They needed to resolve this quickly because at some point Trip would not be able to fight the drive to protect his mate.

Trip withdrew from their shared space and went to the bridge. "Tucker to Sickbay."

"What can I do for you Commander Tucker?" Phlox responded.

"I need an airborne version of that sedative you gave us to use on the crew. The one that last a few minutes." Trip waited for him to reply and held up his hand to Malcolm who stepped off the turbolift and immediately started asking questions.

"Where should I send it?"

"To the bridge. Is there going to be a problem if we use it on the Captain and T'Pol?"

"If there's no way to avoid it. The Captain is likely to suffer some ill-affects but the Commander should be fine. We really can't make a habit of anesthetizing people." Having the Captain unconscious again carried risks so Phlox wanted to be on hand in case he reacted badly.

"I understand but we have a hostage situation so the sooner the better. Tucker out." He moved closer to the tactical officer. "What did you want Malcolm?"

"Sensors aren't showing any intruders." Malcolm checked after hearing Trip's orders to Phlox. The tactical alert should have sounded if they had been boarded.

"They must have masked their biosigns but there are three Klengians holding the Captain and T'Pol hostage." This was definitely going to test their friendship. How much did Malcolm trust Trip and how far would that trust go with nothing to back up his assertion?

Malcolm could see he was convinced what he said was true. He would discuss this with Trip later, in private. "So I take it you're planning on sedating them."

"Seemed like a better idea than going in guns blazing." That would have been the option Trip would have first thought of a couple of years ago but not anymore. The risk to T'Pol and the Captain was too high.

Malcolm would have preferred the guns blazing approach, but not in such close quarters. "Maybe you should have your engineers redo all the ventilation ducts for just such emergencies."

"Where's the fun in that? I thought you liked the adventure of conquering the enemy on the fly." Teasing Malcolm about his penchant for war games was fun but he did have a point about making the changes standard on the ship.

"Not so much when it involves my friends and the crew in the real world." The Armory officer had had enough of fighting and people dying in the expanse and his job was to prevent that from happening if he could.

Trip looked up at the ceiling. "I'm beginning to hate these shafts. They really needed to make them big enough for a normal-sized person to crawl around in." He motioned upward to Malcolm. "It's a two-man job so let's get up there. Phlox should be here any minute."

"Hang on I need to tell my team to get masks and get in position outside the door." They could then secure the Klengians as soon as the sedative took effect.

Trip needed to do something to fight this urge to burst through the door. He tried his breathing exercises and when that didn't work, he moved on to a quick version of meditation but his chest hurt and his breathing kept getting faster. He simply couldn't relax.

Malcolm took his arm. "What's the matter? You're sweating and your breathing sounds funny. Are you sick?"

"We need to get T'Pol out of there now." He could feel her apprehension rising dramatically. Whether it was because they were threatening her or Captain Archer, he didn't know but either way she was in danger.

"We will. Phlox is on the way. Let's get ready." Malcolm climbed up onto the engineering station and opened the hatch above them.

Just as he pulled Trip up Phlox stepped off the turbolift. "Sorry it took so long but I had to make some adjustments. If the Klengians are using a nasal agent to prevent the Riccians from influencing them the sedative will need to be absorbed through the skin."

"Glad you're here Doc because we didn't think of that." Trip reached down and took the canister from Phlox. "You should probably go stand outside the Ready Room with the security team."

Malcolm was worried. Trip's eyes were dark, like he was angry and his complexion was ruddy but in no way did it have a healthy glow about it. "Are you sure you're alright? You look like you're going to pass out."

"Let's just get this done." The engineer disconnected the duct and reconnected it to the temporary one Malcolm had just rerouted, further down the shaft, to isolate the ready room from the rest of the ship. He then put the canister inside the other end, pulled the top off and sealed the duct closed. Now they had to wait for someone to let them know it worked. Trip hadn't needed someone to inform him of anything. T'Pol was fighting the effects and he could sense her relief when the Klengians went down. Then he felt her succumb.

He reached in and removed the canister. "It's over. Let's go." He knew he should be patient and wait, for appearances sake, but he couldn't fight it any longer. He had to see T'Pol to make sure she was unharmed.

"We need to have a little chat later."

"You're not going to be happy because there isn't anything I can say that will make things any clearer for you." Trip and T'Pol had discussed this eventuality but had not come up with an acceptable solution that kept their privacy intact.

"Well at least I got an honest answer this time. That's progress." Malcolm was fairly sure Trip wouldn't divulge any information about this connection he had with T'Pol but his comment at least confirmed that Malcolm was right and there was some connection between them.

---

"Bridge to Sickbay."

"Go ahead, ensign." Tucker answered the hail.

"We have a ship on long range sensors, sir." Hoshi's ear picked them up before the sensors did.

"Anybody we know?" Most likely the Riccians, Trip thought.

Ensign Sato continued to work the dials trying to fine tune the sensors. "We can't be sure they're still too far out."

"I'll be right there. Sound the tactical alert." T'Pol and the Captain were still unconscious on the biobeds. The doctors adjustments to the sedative had increased the effectiveness.

"Tucker to Lt. Reed."

"Reed here."

"Are the prisoners secured?"

"Yes sir. I just posted a guard outside the brig. We're running out of room to confine people." The Riccians were in cargo bay one. The diplomats from Starfleet and Andoria had been moved to cargo bay two, with guards posted outside and now the brig was full.

It was starting to feel like they were running a prison ship. "You're needed on the Bridge. Ensign Sato just reported another ship on long range scanners."

"Bloody hell that's just what we need is more company." Reed muttered under his breath. To Tucker he yelled. "On my way." Reed told the guards to stay put and contacted each of the security teams he had patrolling the corridors on his way to the bridge.

---

"Ensign, I need an identification on that ship." Friend or foe was what he needed to know.

Hoshi checked the scans again. "Still too far out of range. Give me 25 seconds."

"Put it up so we can all see it." The visual popped up on the vid screen. "Maximum magnification."

"The warp signature is unfamiliar, sir." Hoshi looked again. "But it has the same configuration as the Riccian ship."

"Commander T'Pol was convinced they changed their warp signature before so it's possible they did it again." Tucker looked at the screen once more. "Arm the forward torpedoes Lieutenant."

"Understood." Reed responded as he loaded the torpedoes into the tubes.

"Sir, we have another ship to our starboard." Hoshi nervously reported.

Trip took another look at the vid screen. Yep, sure enough another moving dot had appeared. "Did someone send out party invitations and forget to tell us?" The second ship was farther away than the first so they wouldn't have a reading on their identity yet. "Lt. Reed, lock targeting sensors on everybody out there until we get a clearer picture of what we're up against."

"Yes sir. Targeting sensors locked. Any preference on weapons?"

"Phase cannons on the Klengians weapons systems." They were closest and the cannons could be targeted more tightly to avoid any major blowback on Enterprise. "Torpedoes, with medium charges, on each of the other two."

"The Riccians just fired a torpedo at the Klengians." Malcolm watched the screen as the torpedo made its way to its target.

Trip waited to see if they were going to respond, but nothing. "Lieutenant see what you can do to intercept it. And Travis once the debris clears move us between the Klengians and the other ships."

"Yes, sir." Travis quickly maneuvered Enterprise into position.

Malcolm acquired the torpedo on his sensors and sent a prolonged burst from the forward phase cannon causing it to explode before it was near enough to cause any damage.

"Commander, the second ship has locked weapons on the Riccian ship."

"Hail them, Ensign." Great a free for all and Enterprise got to be monkey in the middle.

"We're being hailed by the Kleng...actually they all want to talk to us."

"Put them all up." Might as well let them all talk to each other. What's the worst that could happen. The first face appeared.

"Commander Tucker, nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too Commander. Would it have been too much trouble to let us know it was you a little sooner?"

"I forget your sensors aren't as powerful as ours and we didn't want to interfere." The Commander cracked that evil little smile of his.

There is was. Stick the knife in and twist it ever so slightly. "Since when? You always seem to be in the middle of our skirmishes."

"You do seem to have a number of them." Shran suspected it was a byproduct of their curious nature.

"Commander Tucker thank you for your assistance but we would have intercepted the torpedo on our own." Aspwargon jumped in.

The acting Captain laughed. "You're welcome, but it really had nothing to do with you. Just wanted to make damn sure there was no damage to Enterprise."

Malcolm perked up instantly. The flippancy in Trip's words were the first signs of extreme fatigue in his friend. He moved to Trip's side and leaned in close. "Commander you didn't get a whiff of that sedative did you?"

"I do feel strange but wouldn't it have affected me before now?" He knew he hadn't breathed it in or at least he didn't think he had. Fatigue was expected after the mental connection with T'Pol but it'd come on faster than he thought it would. Maybe he ought to ask T'Pol about more practice sessions with this so the aftereffects could be minimized sooner.

"Didn't Phlox say he put something in there to make it absorb into your skin? Maybe you got a small dose taking it out of the duct and that's making you a little punchy."

"Could anything else go wrong today?" His head dropped down as he shook it trying to keep the fuzziness at bay then turned his back to the vid screen.

Malcolm could see the tiredness in his eyes. "You might want to stop with the snappy remarks and get this mess straightened out." They'd had a rotation of three Captains today and Reed wasn't up to being number four. Changing who was in charge every hour or so was only going to make them seem incompetent and untrustworthy.

Trip turned to face the screen again. "Commander Shran would you keep your weapons charged." As an afterthought he added, "Oh and you'll need to change course and dock on the portside." His teams hadn't had time to repair the docking clamps on the starboard bay.

"Understood Commander." Shran disappeared from the screen.

All pretense had vanished from Trip's demeanor as he addressed the two remaining Captains. "Okay you two need to get together and work something out. We've got crew from both your ships locked up and we'll happily return them but only after you've come to some agreement that doesn't involve us or imprisoning anyone."

"We want Kolkos returned immediately." The Klengians demanded.

"I'm sure you do but he and your warriors held our Captain and First Officer at gunpoint so we're a little reluctant to let them go just yet. I'm sure you understand." He thought he was being very clear but maybe not.

"What are your terms?"

"Look we don't have any terms except that we want out of the middle of this. You need to get with Captain Migor and work something out. You get whatever they stole back and you each get your crews back and we all go on our way." He'd have to talk to the Captain about him and/or T'Pol meeting with the Riccians and the Klengians since their pheromones didn't affect them. Phlox would not be happy if Archer was rendered unconscious again in so short a period of time.

"Transfer the females to our ship and we will take it from there."

Totally frustrated Trip threw up his hands. "That's it. What part of that's not an option did you not understand. Get together with your officers and find a solution. We'll meet again in let's say 8 hours." With the Andorians here Trip felt more comfortable giving them time to find a workable solution. "Captain Migor you're being exceptionally quiet. Do you have any questions about what you need to do?"

"We will consider our options." The screen went black.

"Commander Shran is requesting permission to transport instead of docking with us." Ensign Sato reported.

Trip should have thought of that. He'd ask Shran to keep his weapons charged and on target so they would be unable to dock with Enterprise. "Permission granted. Have him brought to the Captain's Ready Room." T'Pol was stirring in his mind, which could only mean she was waking up. "Lieutenant you have the Bridge." Trip clamped onto Reed's shoulder and said 'thanks' on his way out.

"Yes,sir." Malcolm smiled knowing Trip appreciated his support and assistance.

Trip entered the Ready Room and dropped into the chair. T'Pol was on her way from Sickbay. He'd wanted to go check on her and the Captain but Shran was on the way and would have several questions. He sat there trying to condense the last several days into a short version but his brain wouldn't cooperate.

T'Pol stepped through the door. "You need sleep Commander."

"Yes I do. Dinner might be nice too." He stood and took her into his arms. "I know we're still on duty but we're alone and I need this."

"You are relived of duty Commander so technically I am the one breaking the rules."

"I'd rather be the guilty one. You never break the rules."

"I have broken many rules when it is logical to do so."

"So is helping your mate considered logical?"

"It may or may not be logical but it is imperative for the health and well-being of my mate."

"Glad to hear it." He held her tighter. "Commander Shran is on his way here with a lot of questions." That Shran trusted them enough to offer assistance without details was a sign of how far they'd come since P'Jem. But he'd expect some answers now.

"Then you must remain on duty." T'Pol had been unconscious so would need Trip to fill in what she'd missed.

Trip stepped back. "Did you talk to the Captain before you left Sickbay?"

"He was arguing with Dr. Phlox who was still examining him." It was a useless argument because the doctor was in charge when it came to treatment of his patients, which Archer had been all day.

"First, I stun him now I've sedated him. And don't say it, I know I had no choice." Doing what was expected of him didn't make him feel any better about it.

"You and I decided on a plan together so it is also my responsibility as First Officer."

"But you didn't tell the Captain that did you?" Trip wasn't up to attempting to find a way to explain anything about how they'd done that, especially before he'd had a chance to get some sleep.

"No." T'Pol would not discuss the bond with the Captain and even if she could, she wouldn't know how to explain what Trip described as 'being inside each other's head'.

The chime sounded. They both faced the door as T'Pol said, "Come in."

Shran and his escort stepped into the room. "Dismissed." T'Pol told the crewman.

"Commanders." Shran nodded his head slightly.

"Commander Shran, you do have a way of showing up at just the right moment. Thanks." Trip wondered sometimes if he purposely waited until the perfect moment to make his presence known.

"Have a seat Commander." T'Pol motioned to the couch. She then sat in the chair and Trip sat on the edge of the desk.

Shran took a seat. The door slide open to Archer standing in the corridor.

"Hey, Captain. Are you feeling okay?"

"Phlox says I'm fine. Wants me to get some rest but I told him I've had enough sleep for awhile." Archer sat in the chair T'Pol vacated for him.

"Sorry about that but they didn't give me much choice." Trip's guilty feelings was obvious on his manner.

"Don't worry about it we're all going to recover. I assume Lt. Reed has them locked up in the brig."

"Yes, sir."

Trip gave them a rundown of the events since they went to Sickbay. "I told them we'd meet again in 8 hours. You might want to consider letting Commander T'Pol and I meet with them."

"Perhaps we could meet using the vid screen. Then no one has to be in the same room with the Riccians." It seemed like a reasonable solution and kept questions as to why the Commanders were immune from arising.

"You humans will never learn?" Shran complained.

"Learn what?" Archer asked.

"Why do you coddle them? They attacked your ship and crew. You pinkskins are too tolerant. Just put them all back on their ships and let them fight it out." Shran raised his voice to emphasize his point.

There was that sanctimonious attitude. He seemed to think he had a right to dictate their actions especially since he interfered with Enterprise every chance he got. "Listen 'Papa Smurf' we can't just let ..." Trip stood up straighter. turning quickly. "What the hell?" The question was directed at T'Pol. Displeasure, frustration, distress, and a variety of other emotions flooded his mind before the emotional surge dissipated.

"Commander Tucker?" Archer reprimanded his chief engineer.

Confused and overcharged Trip lost track of what he had been saying. "I'm sorry, sir. Maybe I should ..." He should ...? He couldn't even think what to do. That stupid cartoon character had come to mind years ago when Shran was being his irritable self but Trip had managed until now to keep the reference to himself. He needed to make a hasty retreat before the Captain asked T'Pol and Shran to leave them alone. "Maybe I should go, sir."

"You're dismissed, Commander. I suggest you get a meal and then get some sleep. See you in seven hours in the conference room."

"I apologize, Commander Shran. It's been a long day, but that's no excuse." Trip quickly moved to leave.

"Commander T'Pol get him out of here and make sure he gets a few hours sleep." Archer ordered.

Trip reached for her hand. "Join me for dinner." He had that you have some explaining to do look on his face.

"Good night Captain, Commander." T'Pol took Trip's hand and led him into the corridor.

The door closed. Shran let the shock of seeing her touch someone, and a human at that, wear off. "How long?" He pointed out to the corridor.

"I don't really know but my best guess is a year or two." He given up trying to go back and figure out when he checked out of what was going on on his ship.

"I'll have to reexamine my opinion of Commander Tucker." Shran was surprised that a human male had managed to convince a Vulcan female to become involved with him. Tucker must be much stronger and more persistent than Shran had given him credit for, before this.

"He is definitely a lot more complicated than I used to think." Jon had always seen him as a brilliant the engineer but also as a somewhat immature kid.

"Change and growth are the evidence of a life."

"Shran the philosopher. Who'd have guessed?"

"I must be spending too much time with humans."

"Well, it sure isn't anyone on this ship. T'Pol is the only one who has a philosophical saying for most every situation." It sounded like something she'd say but if Shran was quoting a Vulcan he'd never admit it.

---

Once in the corridor Trip inquired of T'Pol. "What was that?" That had never happened before. It almost felt like an electrical current of emotions surging throughout his entire body.

"When my emotions are strong or when I have not meditated properly my control is less effective. The emotions you felt would normally have been suppressed but I have not meditated and you are becoming more sensitive to them." This had been an exhausting day so far and she had tried to block them but had not been able to.

"So you were upset about what I said?"

"Vulcans suppress anger and upset so they do not feel them but for me that is no longer true. These feelings come forth and without preparation, I am unaccustomed as to how to react to them. In time I may learn new techniques to suppress them." She had managed to learn to suppress some of them and usually kept them under wraps enough that others weren't aware but when they came on, in the moment, with sufficient strength, it was difficult to keep them from Trip.

T'Pol didn't apologize but he could feel her regret at having allowed her emotions to affect him so strongly. "You don't have anything to be sorry about you were fine. I'm the one who reacted like I'd just been zapped by a live wire. If you're having a bad time I want to know about it and do what I can to help. And the first thing I can do is let you teach me how to keep my thoughts to myself." He'd needed to do this for some time now and if he'd learned this earlier he might have been able to keep his mouth shut in front of Commander Shran.

"It may help but it will not eliminate the problem. Even if you do not express them verbally you cannot keep yourself from feeling them internally."

"Something's better than nothing. While we're on the subject of strange reactions what's with that feeling I get every time I call you ma'am?" There it was again.

"What feeling?"

"I don't know how to describe it except to say it's not a good feeling. It makes me think about a time when my sister got all upset when a shopkeeper called her ma'am. Said it made her feel old and she was only in her mid twenties. But you're not old and it's only when I call you ...that." Trip had been thinking about this for a while trying to come up with a working theory before he confronted T'Pol.

"There is no problem." T'Pol insisted a little too emphatically to be believable.

"Okay, so if there's no problem I can continue to address you as 'ma'am' and you're not going to flinch every time I do." He felt it again.

T'Pol stopped. He wouldn't let it go. He'd make it a point to address her as ma'am until she gave in and said something. "I do not like it when my mate calls me ma'am."

No explanation as to why but he hadn't really expected her to give him one. "See that wasn't so hard was it. Why don't you try asking me to stop next time instead of making me spend weeks trying to figure it out?" She wouldn't do it and he'd keep playing detective to figure these things out. And he'd stop referring to her as ma'am.

---

Trip heard the door chime. T'Pol had gone to get dinner but that wasn't her so he grabbed his robe and went to see who it was.

"What are you doing here? Who told you where to find me?" Stupid question it was the Captain. Probably figured it served him right to have Shran confront him about his behavior before he heard Jon's lecture on his unprofessionalism. Why didn't he listen to Malcolm and just keep quiet?

Stepping back to invite Commander Shran in. No use getting dressed down in the corridor. "Come in. I'll be right back." He disappeared into the bathroom, pulled on a pair of sweats and dug out a clean shirt. He left the bathroom trying to decide if he was going to try and defend himself or just stand there and take whatever Shran had to say.

"Commander, I'm sorry to interrupt your evening."

"You aren't. Um...I'd really like to apologize for what I said earlier. I have a really bad habit of saying whatever I'm thinking and when I'm tired and cranky the small amount of self-discipline I usually have disappears." Trip smiled but it wasn't a happy smile.

"We Andorians are thought to be arrogant and annoying by most other species so it comes as no surprise that you share that opinion of me. You are very outspoken and it happens to be one of the things I like about you. Maybe because I to am known to say exactly what I think." Shran thought for a minute and continued. "Don't ever let your superiors change that about you. It may be annoying to some but it's refreshing to meet someone who has an opinion and isn't afraid to express it."

"They've been trying for ten years now to get me to think before I do anything and as you've witnessed on many occasions they haven't been very successful." Captain Archer had been lecturing him on that for four years now. He was less impulsive than he used to be but Archer still saw him as far too outspoken and impulsive.

"I have a question."

"What?"

"What's a smurf? I asked Archer and he had no clue. He said I should ask you."

Trip tried to explain. "They're little blue people...no they're not people...they're cartoon...do you know what a cartoon is? Probably not..." He was nervous. His palms were sweating and his words weren't coming out right. "You kept trying to tell us what to do and this cartoon to mind because it had these little blue characters in it and today I was tired and you called us pinkskins again and it sounded like an insult..." He needed to stop before he dug this hole deeper. "... and it really doesn't matter. I'm sorry." Trip decided to stop talking before he told him it wasn't only that they were blue but because he thought the 'smurfs' were beyond annoying. He didn't want to offend him further.

Shran saw he was tying the Commander up in knots again so he moved on to the purpose of his visit. "I didn't come here about that. I came here to discuss Thriishur and Uhulissis."

"What?" Trip wasn't sure what just came out of his mouth.

"That's right they told me you call them Fric and Frac." The pair had then explained what they'd learned about the names in the human database. Shran had to admit the names fit.

That must have been their names. The Andorian pair had been right Trip would never have been able to pronounce them or find shorter versions. "You're their commanding officer?"

"The ship they were assigned to has a full crew so they have been reassigned to my crew." Shran didn't say that the commander of that ship had not wanted them back. The Imperial Guard was not structured to accommodate problems, like these two presented, with their crews. It was assumed that those who enlisted wanted to be there and would follow the rules and those who didn't were quickly exiled to some post where they could fulfill their enlistment and no longer be problems. Fric and Frac had only been spared such a fate because of their skills.

"So you want me to give you a report on them?" He had planned on speaking to their superiors but not on such short notice.

"Not exactly. If they return to the Imperial Guard, it will not matter how talented they are as engineers if they remain undisciplined. You have made progress with them and I would like them to remain on Enterprise."

"You want them to stay on Enterprise, with me?" Surprise didn't cover his reaction. Until now he thought Shran hated him.

"Yes. In speaking to them it is obvious you have established a rapport. Our approach has done nothing but make the situation worse." Sending them out as diplomats had accomplished nothing and ignored their real skills.

"Well, your first mistake was separating them. They seem to be one half of the same brain which is strange if what they said about meeting after they enlisted is true." At first, he'd thought of them as twins but then saw that they were alike in their interests but they had different skills that complimented each other.

"Then they will need to be posted together?"

"That seems to be what works best. What one doesn't know or think of the other one does. Together they make one hell of an engineer." Dr. Phlox had been observing the two since they came aboard and found them to be interesting subjects to study. "What did Captain Archer say about this?"

"I haven't mentioned it to Captain Archer. If you said 'no' there would have been no point."

"He could just order me to do it." Trip was surprised Shran hadn't tried to get the Captain to do just that.

"We are supposed to be building an alliance between Andorians and Humans. Forcing you to do this would only make you mistrust and resent me more than you already do."

"I don't resent you. I was annoyed with you but I get over things like that pretty quickly." He wasn't sure he totally trusted Shran after the incident with the probe, but he had proven himself to be an ally and a friend of sorts to humans. Trip considered Shran's request for a minute. They were gifted engineers and they had helped save Enterprise. They deserved the chance and if he could give it to them why not make this informal arrangement a formal one. "If I do this you'll have to reinstate their rank. It's the only way I'll be able to work them into the command structure." As ensigns they could only be given so much responsibility.

"Done. I'll have lieutenants insignia sent over for them both. How long do you think it will take?" The Andorian had thought he would have to coerce the Commander into agreeing.

"Six months, at least, maybe more. We're going to have to get this by Starfleet and the Imperial Guard if we get Commander T'Pol and Captain Archer to go along." T'Pol shouldn't object but with Archer he didn't know what his reaction would be.

"Somehow I think you'll be able to get Commander T'Pol to agree and if Archer doesn't agree I will convince him. The Imperial Guard might be easier than you think."

Trip saw the look in Shran's eyes. He must have something on someone in the Guard because he was much too confident. "Okay I'll discuss it with T'Pol and if she agrees we'll talk to the Captain."

Shran pointed to a picture of Trip and T'Pol on the wall. "You and the Commander are a couple. That surprises me. How have you managed to keep it hidden for so long?"

"It surprises a lot of people and it's not like it's a state secret but we aren't making public announcements either. Vulcans are a very private people and Starfleet might have some problems with it so we keep things as low-key as we can." Trip only hoped Shran got the point and kept it to himself.

Shran stepped toward the door. "We will talk before the meeting. I'll handle your Captain if you don't mind." Shran was not above using what Archer had described as 'Commander Tucker's atrocious behavior' to manipulate the Captain if need be.

---

"Captain Archer, Commander Tucker you both look rested this morning." Shran was being loud even for him.

"Good morning, Commander. I wasn't aware we had a meeting scheduled this morning." Archer was surprised at his presence.

"Commander Tucker, are you feeling better this morning?"

"Much. Thank you." What was he up to? Jon had just started on his lecture about his attitude toward Shran yesterday and Shran seemed to have purposely interrupted him.

"Captain Archer I have asked Commander Tucker here to keep Fric and Frac in Engineering for a time and he has agreed if you have no objections."

Trip almost choked on his coffee. Talk about blindsided. Even Trip had enough sense to work his way into something like that. He waited for Archer to respond to what Trip was sure he would see as them usurping his authority.

"You want him to what?" Archer gave Trip this look of concern and disbelief.

"I want him to continue to train them so they can return to my ship instead of being sent back to the Ambassador."

"And you agreed to this?" Why hadn't Trip talked to him first?

"They've earned the chance and they will learn more about working with humans. If we're going to learn how to make this Coalition work we have to start somewhere." Trip hit the right button. He knew the Coalition and the future Federation were important to Archer.

Shran tried to help by interjecting, "My superiors have agreed to a six month posting."

"Excuse us. Commander." Archer lead Trip outside. "Since when do you make arrangements with Shran before talking to me first?"

"He came to our quarters last night and talked to me. He said he wanted me to agree without being ordered to do it. It's not like you've given me much of a chance to say anything since I got here and whatever that was in there it was all Shran." The Andorian must have thought just getting it out there was the best approach but Trip couldn't see how. It did get Trip out of Archer's talk though.

"You seem to have worked things out with him." Archer realized he was more upset with Trip than Shran was.

"There wasn't anything to work out. He wasn't mad but I apologized anyway and then he asked me to do this. He could have used what I did to guilt me into it but he didn't even try." Which Trip appreciated. He believed Shran when he said he wanted them to work together and not because their superiors had ordered them to.

Shran kept taking steps to form an alliance between Earth and Andoria. He'd even admitted that both the Andorians and Vulcans were the cause of the problems between the two species and was trying to be less critical and work with them. Now he wanted Trip to work with the Andorians. "So we have to get Starfleet to agree. I haven't even told Gardner about them working in engineering yet." The Captain planned to but it usually went better if he informed him of these types of issues after the fact.

"So you're okay with it." Trip let out a sigh of relief.

"I was skeptical at first but they've done a good job and they respect you. Six months would give us time to get a couple of their modifications done." Archer had said no to the modifications in the past but the more species they encountered the more he had started to see the need to upgrade more of the defensive capabilities, besides weapons, on Enterprise. "Let's get this Riccian mess straightened out first then we can contact Starfleet."

The talks proceeded amazingly well. Evidently, Commander Shran had spoken to both the Riccians and the Klengians and whatever he said to them persuaded all parties that settling their differences was in their best interest.

The crews of both ships were released and transported off Enterprise. Commander Shran had taken the Andorian diplomats and the Starfleet personnel. After a short stop on Andoria Commander Shran was to take the Andorian Ambassador to a meeting of the Coalition on Earth so he agreed to take Ambassador Rimmus and his staff with him.

**Lexington NCC-1702**

"Trip, you are doing much better tonight." T'Pol had only shown him this series of postures twice and he had gotten them right without any prompting from her.

"Thank you. Once I got the breathing down it made concentrating on the movements easier. And the more we do this the clearer my thoughts seem to be." Captain Tucker had resisted neuropressure in the past and now he couldn't understand why. Not only had it relaxed him in a way he never thought possible, he and T'Pol has begun to develop a stronger relationship. After several sessions, he could see the softer more accessible T'Pol he'd been yearning for.

"So what is the purpose of these postures? And don't say to encourage one's own body to naturally relive stress because I'm not the least bit relaxed."

"They are designed for bonded mates to strengthen their connection and become closer. You have progressed rapidly now that you see the benefits of the practice."

"Doesn't hurt that it makes it easier for me to understand you. This bond is the most calming thing I've ever felt."

Many nights he laid in bed wishing he could contact his other self. The Trip who helped him see what was lacking in his relationship with T'Pol. The padd he'd left with him was still lying on the shelf in the other room, unread. After debating with himself for weeks, he finally presented it to T'Pol, who scanned through the information. He asked her if what the other Trip had told him was true, that there was much he needed to know, that she hadn't told him?

The look in her eyes answered his question. He gave her a choice. They could read the padd together or she could just tell him what he needed to know. After several minutes, T'Pol placed her hands on his face and asked him to trust her. Trust that she would explain everything to him, but in her own way and time. She asked him to allow them to become friends and learn to understand and trust one another. To begin she explained the mating bond that formed between Vulcan couples and the beginnings of the bond that had been formed between them. She asked for his forgiveness that she hadn't told him of the bond before. She wished for them to strengthen that bond and allow their understanding of it and their future together to develop more naturally than would be possible if they were to just read the padd. He agreed.

It was the best decision he could have made. They were discovering the steps they missed because they had become involved while at Starfleet Academy. They went from classmates to acquaintances to lovers quickly. They had become friends, but not anywhere near the kind of friends they were becoming now. She trusted him now and he trusted her. He always thought he had before, but now saw that it wasn't the same. They talked now. Not just about the big things, but about their day or what to do after dinner. They had dates that involved more than dinner. T'Pol had emotions, but she had kept them hidden from him. Now he could feel them as their bond grew stronger.

He pulled her in closer. It made all the difference in the world once he knew it existed and that the neuropressure strengthened their connection. He'd told Captain Archer if he'd known what being Captain and being in space were really like he might have made a different choice. He didn't feel that way any longer. Being in space and being here with T'Pol felt right. They were exploring space and building a life together.

**Enterprise NX-01**

"Yeah, it helps that I have your calm, rational Vulcan mind influencing mine when I need it." Trip depended on her calm to keep him from overreacting and becoming overwhelmed by his emotions as she depended on his ability to process emotions when the strength and number of hers overwhelmed her.

"T'Pol what do you see when you look out there?" He knew the Vulcan in her saw stars and space, and all those scientific details about space were running through her mind, but he hoped that was no longer all she saw.

T'Pol turned to look into his eyes. "I see stars and planets and empty space, and much we have yet to explore. And I see questions, many questions." She shifted her feet to again look at the empty space before them. "We will one day have to decide where we wish to make our life out there when we leave Enterprise." T'Pol didn't think about these things except when Trip spoke of them but was aware they loomed out there in the future. There was no purpose worrying about what might be. One didn't know the future and worry only interfered with now and changed nothing.

"We'll figure it out. I don't really have any answers and I'm sure we don't even know all the questions, but I'm in no hurry. The last four years have taught me to enjoy the moment because that moment could be gone tomorrow." For all the romance Vulcans seemed to lack in their lives, they made up for it in the closeness between mates. Living together and working on forming the strongest bond possible and enjoying this time with T'Pol was his moment.

An earthquake had hit San Francisco and destroyed parts of the Academy and Headquarters. With a conference scheduled with the members of the Coalition, all Starfleet's ships were being recalled to aid in the recovery. Columbia and Enterprise would get a tune-up and be restocked for their return to space.

"Are you ready for this?"

"I will miss the protection of being on Enterprise, but I will enjoy visiting Earth with you. Perhaps we can do some sight-seeing that does not involve bombings and weapons fire." T'Pol was looking forward to seeing the San Francisco Trip described to her, so she could replace the picture of the place the Vulcans wariness at exploring the area had instilled in her.

They had plans to spend time with Malcolm and Hoshi. Trip hadn't told T'Pol yet but he'd decided he wouldn't be contacting his parents this trip. He'd sent them a letter telling them about T'Pol but he wanted to enjoy their time on Earth and not have to worry what his parents might think of their relationship. "I'm looking forward to just being able to relax and have a little fun between cleaning up from the earthquake and helping the Captain get ready for the conference." Captain Archer was not originally a part of this conference but the earthquake had injured some of the participants and the Admiralty asked that he fill in.

A/N: This was originally the end of this story but it has morphed into a much longer tale and will continue. I left it mostly as originally written to bring some closure the Lexington NX-02 adventure.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**The Dissonance of Generational Viewpoints**

"You're supposed to go down the stairs." Malcolm almost dropped several of the bags he was carrying for himself and Hoshi when Trip backed up. The woman had more clothes for their stay on Earth than both he, Trip, and T'Pol owned combined. Her closet was the standard Starfleet size but she had organized it so meticulously the space had been magically quadrupled.

"Sorry but I need to talk to T'Pol. Stay right here." Trip dropped his bags and continued up the stairs and back inside the ship.

"Is there a problem, Trip?" Archer asked as he watched him waiting for someone at the door. That someone must be T'Pol since he hadn't commed anyone.

"No problem or at least I hope not." T'Pol would have told him if she knew anything about this. He paced impatiently back and forth.

T'Pol came through the docking bay door. He moved closer. "Did you know you're mother was on Earth?" The expression in her eyes said she was just as surprised as he was. "Well she's out there waiting. I don't think she saw me but what do you want to do?" The original plan was for her and Captain Archer to go to Headquarters together and see what Starfleet had planned for the crew and the conference while Trip, Malcolm, and Hoshi all went to the rooms they had rented for themselves. Starfleet had offered them accommodations but they opted to get their own where they would be able to enjoy some private time together.

"Captain I must go with the Commander. My mother is here and I must..." T'Pol was lost. She must go see her mother and then what?

Trip stopped her. "I can go alone." He whispered to T'Pol. "I'm family after all so I better get used to it. I just thought you should know. It might mean changes to our plans."

Archer watched the two whispering back and forth. Trip didn't seem all that uncomfortable about T'Les being here. "Go T'Pol. I understand and I'm sure Admiral Gardner will too. We all have families." Jon no longer did but he could sympathize. Although it was unusual for a Vulcan to have family around and they never just dropped in.

It had taken T'Pol months to figure out how to go about surprising Trip and longer to appreciate and enjoy doing it. So to Trip T'Les surprising them seemed out of character for her or any Vulcan. "If this were my Mom I'd say she did it to get back at you for bringing me home without warning, but aren't Vulcans supposed to be above that?"

T'Pol had no explanation for her mother's conduct. "My mother is on Earth so I no longer know what to say about her behavior. You apparently know her better than I do. Getting her off Vulcan has indeed prompted her to come visit us."

Trip laughed rather loudly. "It was a joke. I never thought she'd really come to Earth. When did you tell her we were coming back?"

"You were there when I sent a letter two days ago. It could not have reached her and even if it did there has not been enough time to arrange transport from Vulcan." The shuttles were fast enough but permission and arrangements could not be completed that quickly.

"Ambassador Soval must be behind this." Although why he didn't know. "I've got to go. I left Malcolm and Hoshi stranded on the stairs with my stuff. Mal's probably ready to kill me for leaving him there holding all his and Hoshi's bags." He could almost hear him cussing him out.

"I will retrieve my bag from the shuttlepod and meet you in the holding area." T'Pol turned toward the door to the launch bays.

Trip walked away thinking he was glad she was coming with them. He'd wanted her first experiences back on Earth to be with him not flying to HQ to attend meetings with the Captain.

---

On his way back out he noticed Ambassador Soval standing next to T'Les. Well, I guess that answers who, now all we need to know is how and why. He quickly grabbed his bag and ran down the stairs to stand in front of T'Les and Soval, raising his hand in the Vulcan ta'al. "Ambassador, T'Les, live long and prosper."

T'Les nodded slightly in Trip's direction. She didn't give the normal response but instead decided to publicly chastise him. "My daughter has been remiss in teaching you the proper greetings amongst Vulcans, Charles. You and I are family and you and the Ambassador are acquainted; therefore; the proper greeting is far less formal with only a slight nod of your head to show respect, not the ta'al."

He dropped his hand feeling like a child who'd just been slapped. "I'm sorry, she might have mentioned it." She hadn't but he felt a need to cover for her with her Mom and tried to hide his reaction. He supposed this meeting went better than their first on Vulcan but it still wasn't what he'd call good. "Could you keep the family references down. I like that you see me that way but no one knows exactly what T'Pol and my relationship is and we need to keep it that way."

"I will not mention it again. My daughter has not returned with you?" T'Les looked back to the stairs.

"She was scheduled to attend meetings at HQ with the Captain but when I saw you out here the Captain said she could skip them. She'll be here in a minute." Trip could hear Malcolm coming up behind him. Dropping bags and muttering to himself.

"T'Les, Ambassador you remember Malcolm Reed and Hoshi Sato." Trip tried to assist Malcolm with the bags but it was hopeless trying to keep up with his machinations as the various bags moved up and down falling at his feet and quickly being snagged back up to his shoulders.

Ambassador Soval took pity on him, forced several from his grasp, and set them on the floor in front of him. "Are all of these yours Mr. Reed?"

"No actually only the one on my shoulder is mine." He looked around to see how close Hoshi was before finishing. "The rest belong to Ms. Sato but let's not discuss that. I just got myself out of the doghouse." Malcolm missed the question in Soval's eyes.

Trip leaned in. "Being in the doghouse means she got real mad at him for making remarks about how ridiculous it is that she has more bags than the rest of us put together." Why Hoshi was making him carry them by himself Trip couldn't fathom but he'd learned to stay out of other couples spats.

T'Pol always only had one large bag and he had two smaller ones. Reed had one of his own and five rather large ones for Hoshi. Hoshi was also carrying one for herself. That one contained shoes and accessories. Malcolm claimed one set for every outfit she'd brought along. Watching him all morning Trip was thankful that T'Pol wasn't as high maintenance and while he carried T'Pol's bag for her, it wasn't because she expected him to.

He turned his attention back to T'Les. "We weren't aware you were on Earth. T'Pol sent you a letter a couple of days ago to let you know we were coming back."

"I was invited to attend the Vulcan Symposium on Human Relations. I have been invited before but never accepted. The meetings were postponed for several days due to the earthquake and when they were over I contacted Ambassador Soval to arrange a shuttle home. He informed me Enterprise would be arriving today." T'Les had been on Earth for almost two weeks. Having taken a leave of absence and just extended her stay indefinitely.

"Well, I'm glad you finally felt comfortable enough to leave Vulcan. Have you seen much of San Francisco while you've been here?" Trip was aware the Vulcans tended to stay pretty close to the consulate and rarely crossed the Golden Gate Bridge.

"The earthquake has made travel difficult and most of the staff at the Consulate have been to busy to act as guides for me." T'Les had considered venturing out alone but Soval soon convinced her that was not a wise course of action.

Now what? Trip thought. He'd run out of things to talk about. T'Les hadn't left the consulate until today, he didn't know anything about the symposium and couldn't fake an interest, and where was T'Pol? He could barely feel her in the bond and it shouldn't be taking this long to get her bag. Why had he thought he could handle this on his own? Had he known T'Les was going to be here he would have discussed it with T'Pol and prepared himself with several topics to discuss.

T'Pol was finally coming. He turned and mouthed, "Where have you been?" He took her bag and moved aside.

T'Pol greeted her mother and the Ambassador. "Live long and prosper, Mother. Ambassador Soval." Her head nodded slightly to each. "We were not expecting to see you." T'Pol drilled her eyes into her mothers. Who was this? T'Pol didn't recognize her as the mother she had always known. The mother who refused to acknowledge there was merit in spending time on other planets or in space learning about other cultures.

Malcolm's patience had reached its limit. "Are we going to stand around here or go find our ride so we can find our motel?" He wanted to rid himself of this luggage.

Surprise flickered through Soval's eyes. "You were not given rooms at Starfleet?"

"It was more convenient to acquire lodging elsewhere." T'Pol volunteered as little info as possible. The lack of space and being under the constant scrutiny of Starfleet; as well as; being forced into separate quarters had made the decision an easy one.

He studied the four officers standing before him. "A logical decision." His suspicions about the Commanders had long since been confirmed and if he was reading the behavior and emotions of the Lieutenant and Ensign correctly, they were also a couple. "Have you acquired transportation?"

"There should be a shuttle waiting for us." Trip had made the arrangements. "They're operating on rather tight schedules with all the moving personnel around, so we really do need to go."

"I will instruct my pilot to follow your shuttle." Soval turned and spoke into a comm unit.

That wasn't quite what he'd expected, but why not? Trip caught the dread and concern wafting off Malcolm. Moving closer in an attempt to keep the Vulcans from overhearing him he tried to smooth things over. "I know this isn't how you thought the day would go but it's not like I can just tell her to go away. She's T'Pol's mother."

Malcolm tried to smile. What appeared was something akin to someone trying to put the best face on while being tortured. "It fits right in with the day so far so let's just get the bloody hell out of here." Not being one to dwell on the impossible he focused on getting to their rooms where he could find the few moments of privacy he needed to decompress and talk to Hoshi about this attitude of hers.

Trip nudged him farther away from the Vulcans. "I thought you liked T'Les."

It wasn't that he didn't like her it was more about being like a fish out of water gasping for air to breathe. "I do, but we're not on Enterprise and she's your family and I don't do well with family. Wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of her." Being on the ship where he was the tactical officer and confident in his abilities made things easier for Malcolm. Being on Earth made him feel unsure and a bit defenseless.

"You wouldn't do that. She's my mother-in-law not yours so I have to behave myself. You just have to be our friend."

Malcolm's eye lit up. T'Les was his mother-in-law? "You do know you just admitted to being more than just a dating couple."

"You're not an idiot and its not like we haven't been committed to each other for a while now, besides T'Les keeps referring to me as family. It would be pointless to deny it, don't you think?" When they began sharing quarters the just dating thing was no longer valid.

"So you're married or what?" Malcolm knew Vulcans got married, usually to a mate they were betrothed to but how all that worked was still a mystery.

"We're engaged and with Vulcans that makes it forever and I guess to T'Les that's what's important." That's all that was important to Trip too so he understood. "That's why T'Pol took me to Vulcan, for the ceremony. No one knows... Well, that's not true...the Vulcans know but the Captain and Starfleet don't know and we'd like to keep it that way as long as possible. It'll be bad enough if they get wind that we're a couple; if they find out it's more formal it will make things more difficult for all of us."

Trip was trying to give the Captain and crew cover in case Starfleet found out. "So you're waiting until you leave Starfleet?" That seemed the most reasonable course but then Trip didn't always do what was reasonable.

"No firm date, but we're together no matter what so the actual marriage isn't that important right now." To Trip it didn't matter what label they put on it they were forever so the ceremony was only important because it meant something to T'Pol and would signify her cultures acceptance of their bonding.

"Why tell me now?" Trip and T'Pol had been open about their relationship but had insisted on keeping the details to themselves.

Trip had wanted to tell Malcolm but never found the right time. "Like I said you're good at putting things together and having T'Les here means you're likely to overhear her calling me family and we didn't want you to find out that way. The engagement is only a secret because if it becomes common knowledge we wouldn't be able to stay on Enterprise."

"Can't say I understand how Vulcan marriages or mating works but I do know they don't have casual affairs and T'Pol may have stood up to the High Command but she's still Vulcan and not about to throw her heritage out the window. And you wouldn't have let her if she tried." Malcolm knew them both well enough to know that even though they were from different species they shared some basic beliefs.

"True. I can't explain anything more but somehow I think you understand enough to know why I can't." Trip didn't make the mistake many did with Malcolm. He was observant. His background and chosen profession required him to pay attention and see things others may not. And then there was his relationship with Hoshi who didn't miss anything and knew everything about every culture she'd encountered and a several she hadn't.

"I told you before I wasn't asking and I don't expect you to tell me anything that would violate T'Pol's trust. Let's get this over with." The Brit bit the inside of his lip and stepped back toward Hoshi and the others.

Trip stepped up to his left and held him in place with his hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about our family issues making you uncomfortable."

Malcolm let out a deep sigh. "Thanks but the fact that I can't get along with my family shouldn't mean I can't get along with yours. You do what you have to do and I'll be as supportive as I can."

"Thanks. I wasn't planning on seeing any family this time but it might be fun showing two Vulcans around San Francisco."

"If you say so. I can see T'Pol enjoying it somewhat just because she's with you but T'Les doesn't strike me as the sight-seeing type."

"She's a scientist so we should be able to find something she'll enjoy."

Malcolm cringed. "Great...museums and the Science Institute. Not exactly what I had in mind for my downtime."

"She's not a mummy and museum kind of scientist." T'Les' field was physics and lately she'd developed an interest in social sciences, especially Human/Vulcan relations. "You and Hoshi can do whatever you want if tagging along with us isn't what you had in mind. Are you two arguing again?" Trip asked but his thoughts drifted to trying to figure out exactly where Soval fit into all of this. Was he going to be tagging along or was he just here to assist T'Les?

"I don't know. She's been a little impatient and short with me since yesterday and I need to get her alone to find out why." Malcolm had gone through every detail of the last several days and could find nothing he'd done to upset her. Whatever was wrong she had been pushing all his buttons trying to make him mad and keeping her distance.

"Okay, when we get to our rooms you disappear for a while. It'll give T'Pol and me a chance to figure out what's going on. We can get together later and figure out what we're going to do for dinner." They weren't scheduled to report to Starfleet until morning.

Now he needed to concentrate on the fact that Soval and T'Les were coming with them. T'Les he knew somewhat and she considered him her son-in-law so while it was a new relationship he still had some frame of reference for socializing with family. He'd only spent time with the Ambassador aboard Enterprise and briefly at T'Les'. Those occasions were official so he had no idea how to interact with him socially. Should he maintain his professional demeanor or was a more relaxed personal approach called for?

--

The four Starfleet officers stepped into the office of the motel. The man behind the counter seemed shocked as he watched T'Pol and Trip signing the register. Then his attention shifted outside. They hadn't considered how much attention the Vulcan shuttle would draw. When the door opened and the Ambassador and T'Les stepped out every person he could see stopped, jaws dropped, and eyes locked onto them. Two Vulcan escorts soon took up their station behind the Ambassador as he approached the front of the motel.

"Well so much for being low-key." Malcolm chided as he took in the spectators. It was like watching people coming out of suspended animation. Their movements were slow and jerky as they tried to make their bodies comply with the command to go about their business.

They'd chosen a small community in the outskirts of San Francisco after considering the likely reaction to Trip and T'Pol being together and a Vulcan staying in a motel. But the spectacle of a Vulcan shuttle carrying the Vulcan Ambassador was not something one could prepare for. "Let's try to be as nonchalant about this as we can. No use drawing anymore attention to ourselves." Trip went back to completing the registration.

Soval and T'Les stepped through the doors. "It's seems my presence has created somewhat of a scene."

The tactical officer gestured toward the crowd with his head. "Trip here thinks if we act like they're not there they'll just leave us be." Malcolm couldn't believe after everything they'd been through Trip still had a bit of his naïveté.

"That's not what I meant. Just don't say or do anything..." Who was he kidding? They didn't need to say or do anything. They were in Starfleet officer's uniforms, one officer was a Vulcan, and they were being escorted by another Vulcan female, the Vulcan Ambassador, and his Vulcan security officers. And with the added scrutiny if those people out there hadn't put it together yet it wouldn't be long before the fact that said officers were couples became evident. "Just try not to attract anymore attention is all I meant."

Trip considered their options. He read the name off the tag the man behind the desk was wearing. "Mr. Rodgers we'd very much appreciate it if you could keep the spectators away from our rooms. And please don't give them any information about us." They'd rented four rooms for appearances sake but had no intention of using two of them.

Malcolm added. "If they start causing any problems let us know and we can have Starfleet send over security."

The clerk nodded to Malcolm then turned to Trip. "No problem Commander Tucker. We owe all of you a lot after what you did with the Xindi to save Earth. I'll make sure they don't bother you. This is private property and if I have to I'll close the motel down."

Malcolm couldn't believe the monotone delivery but he was impressed with the man's sincerity. "We appreciate that but we wouldn't want to interfere with your business." The gesture would only add fuel to the fire with headlines reading 'Local Business Closed to Accommodate Xindi Heroes' or some such nonsense.

"It won't come to that. The locals may be a little star struck but they're fair-minded people. Go about your business and let me worry about them." Ever the optimist Rodgers started around the counter.

Malcolm wanted to trust in this man's assessment but he couldn't. If there was even the slightest possibility of harm coming to any of them, including the spectators, he had to do whatever he could to prevent it. They had arrived at the elevator but found there were too many of them and too much luggage to fit comfortably.

"Any objection to using the stairs?" Trip asked as he and T'Pol moved in that direction.

Once they were safely out of earshot of Mr. Rodgers Malcolm pulled out his comm unit. "I'm going to assign security to the perimeter. They'll have instructions to stay out of sight but we can't depend on the goodwill of these people." There was a time Malcolm might have done just that but after their previous visit to Earth and the trouble they'd encountered with Dr. Phlox, he wasn't taking any chances.

"I concur Mr. Reed. It is unacceptable to take any unnecessary risks." T'Pol saw the potential for problems and wished to avoid them.

"No weapons fire, remember." Trip half-heartedly teased. Trip wanted to avoid anymore undue attention and Starfleet security's presence or firing weapons was certainly not the way to accomplish this. Flashbulbs and cameras were already becoming more of a possibility as the size of the crowd grew.

"I'm sure Mr. Reed will instruct his teams to refrain from using their phase pistols." T'Pol had missed the teasing in his voice.

"They'll just be here to prevent trouble and they won't fire their weapons unless they have no choice." Malcolm had given them very specific instructions. "T'Pol needs to contact the Captain and let him know we've reassigned some of our security people. Riley says they were supposed to be on duty at HQ. Something to do with security for the conference." As the ranking officer Reed felt it would be her responsibility to inform Captain Archer.

Trip was aware that HQ was using some of the crew to help with the conference. "They have Rostov and Hess rotating some of the engineering crews to escort the various Ambassadors. Rostov wanted to know if he should include the Andorians in the rotation."

"What'd you tell him?" Malcolm wanted his people to have whatever information they needed to do their jobs at the conference. And knowing that the troublesome Andorians were on the premises was something Reed believed his staff needed to know.

"To go ahead. I think they're ready. They've been working on his crew without too many problems." They had objected to being assigned to Rostov's team but Trip didn't listen. He told them that they had better make it work or they would end up assigned to the diplomatic corps for the remaining years of their enlistment with the Imperial Guard. "He just has to make sure they're not assigned to take anyone off Starfleet grounds." This was their first trip to Earth so they'd have no idea how to get around the city on their own.

"I hope you know what you're doing." He had to admit Trip had been right about his dealings with them so far but two undisciplined Andorians on Earth was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Stop being such a worrywart. I even got them to promise they'd take someone with them if they left Starfleet on their off-duty time." Trip tried to get past Malcolm but he had the stairwell blocked. He handed T'Pol her bag and grabbed at a couple of the bags Malcolm was carrying. "Give me some of those. At his rate we're going to be old men before we get up these stairs." He turned to Hoshi. "I don't know why you're not helping him and I don't care so here." He pulled the strap of one of the bags up over her shoulder and continued upward, catching the upturn of Malcolm's lips as he went past him. Hoshi was obviously mad about something. She hadn't said more than ten words all morning.

"It's my job to worry. If I didn't you'd be stardust by now." Malcolm stepped out of the stairwell. It seemed quiet. If they were lucky not to many other guests had been assigned rooms on this floor.

---

Trip stood in the middle of the room. What to say? He'd run through every topic he could think of. T'Pol was in the bedroom with their luggage and he was left standing here with T'Les and Soval. "Okay, I'm just going to say this. If I was here with just you T'Les I think I could find something to talk to you about. T'Pol, Vulcan, your broken appliances, getting to know my new family." He couldn't talk about family with Soval here. "But you Ambassador have me at a loss. Do I call you Ambassador or Soval and what do we talk about?" What the hell do we talk about? Can't talk about work, and he most likely has read all our reports anyway, and I have no idea what he likes to do outside the Consulate. Does he ever leave the consulate? Vulcans hate small talk and sharing personal details about themselves.

"Charles relax you don't have to say anything. We Vulcans are used to being in the same room with others and not speaking a word." T'Les assured him.

T'Les was right they sat through entire meals not speaking a word. He already felt like an adolescent and there was the name again. "Okay, I know I said I was alright with you calling me Charles but the only time anyone calls me that is when they're mad at me about something or when I'm being introduced." He took a breath. And with a pleading tone continued. "You said we're family and doesn't that mean we get to be a little less formal with each other." He knew by human standards it wasn't much but anything was better than what was normal for Vulcans.

"Family should feel comfortable around each other."

He laid it on thick trying to use whatever he could to garner sympathy from T'Les. "Then would you please consider calling me Trip. It would make me feel a whole lot more comfortable. It's not like the rest of the Vulcans don't know about T'Pol and I and most humans wouldn't have a clue that you're doing anything out of the ordinary for a Vulcan and the ones that do should know better than to say anything." Unless they knew him no one would know his proper name anyway.

"That was a logical argument. I will consider your request. How long did it take you to get T'Pol to call you Trip?" T'Les tried to ease his discomfort.

"She was a little reluctant at first but once we became friends it was easier." It had taken two years and five months before she used his nickname more than as a way to get his attention.

Trip turned to the Ambassador. "Look I'm more than a little nervous around you and I know what you think of me and I wasn't your biggest fan either but can we just start over?" T'Pol had been on his staff and Soval was at the very least a professional colleague and a potential ally so he wanted to get along with him if he could.

"My opinion of you had changed even before I became aware that you were T'Pol's bondmate. You have demonstrated an openness and acceptance of new ideas and cultures and aided Vulcan. There are many who believe T'Pol has brought disgrace to her people by becoming a Starfleet officer and bonded to a human but I am not among them. Our peoples must remain close and keep our alliance strong and the forming of friendships and relationships that are more intimate was to be expected." Soval kept his voice very even.

His little speech was rather formal but left Trip feeling hopeful. "Thanks. So do I call you Ambassador when we're off-duty or Soval?"

"Soval. And I will try to remember you prefer Trip. It took me many months to refer to Admiral Forrest as Max instead of Maxwell." It had taken years to call him Maxwell, but they spent so much time together waiting for word from Enterprise while they were in the expanse and discussing the options if Enterprise were lost that a friendship began to develop.

"He never struck me as a Maxwell. To stiff for the man I knew." Forrest could appear to be very by the book but underneath that Starfleet officer was someone who appreciated those who dared to express an opinion. In fact, he often counted on his officers to do just that.

Soval let a little melancholy slip into his voice. "Max did suit him better and Trip suits you better than Charles." Trip Tucker would never be accused of being stiff and formal.

"Thank you." Trip focused on T'Pol. She seemed to be avoiding coming out of the bedroom but Trip didn't know why. "If you'll excuse me a minute." He went into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

He found her sitting near the window. "T'Pol what's the matter?"

"I do not know. I must meditate." She had to attend some routine meetings with the Captain so she hadn't meditated like she should earlier but with the turn of events it was now imperative that she do so.

"Remind me to never spring a surprise on you. You're acting like you don't want to see your Mom." He said as he slipped in behind her, arms wrapped around her chest. He could feel the tension she was fighting to control. "I'll go keep them busy but what do I say you're doing?"

"Meditating. They will understand."

Being Vulcans he supposed they would. "You don't happen to know what's wrong with Hoshi do you?" He asked on the off-sided chance that whatever it was was affecting T'Pol also.

"I believe she has been assigned to the Academy to assist with the cadets while Malcolm has been assigned as security at the conference."

"So what's the problem? They'll see each other every night. It's not like they have similar jobs and they're different ranks so working together was never likely." Trip and T'Pol had been assigned together to assist Ambassador Soval and the Andorian Ambassador. No specific instructions on their duties had been given so they were free to work things out with the Ambassadors.

"She wanted to be more a part of the conference. But this is not all that is upsetting her. Her parents are reluctant to meet with Malcolm. They disapprove of her liaison with someone not of her heritage and religious faith."

"Her parents called it a liaison? That's cold. And when has Hoshi ever mentioned religion?" Trip always thought the Japanese were very tolerant of all religions.

"Never to me. Her problem seems to be what to say to Malcolm."

"The truth usually works. It's not like she's going to let it change anything between them. She's not is she?" That better not be what was wrong. Malcolm would be crushed.

"I do not believe that to be her intent but she did not confide her thoughts to me."

He'd given her plenty of opportunity to talk but she was in reflective mode. "Okay, you need some time alone so I'll go see to our guests." He stood and moved toward the door. "Any preferences for dinner?"

"You know the area better than I do."

"I meant food preferences. Chinese, Vulcan, Italian..."

"Chinese or Italian. We're on Earth I would prefer not to eat Vulcan food while we're here." Trip had made an effort to accept her culture and ate Vulcan cuisine when he visited her home so she felt it was only right to do the same.

"Really?" That surprised him. T'Pol had tried human food but still tended to prefer Vulcan dishes. "We can do that. Actually, this is a good chance for us to find some more interesting vegetarian selections to take back to Enterprise. Chefs good but he needs to expand on his non-meat repertoire." Trip still ate meat but found he actually liked a lot more cooked vegetables than he had before so he'd added more and more of them to his meals.

"I enjoy cooking perhaps we could learn to prepare some new dishes."

"I enjoy cooking too so we will." He stood up and leaned down to kiss her. "Are you going to be all right?" She wasn't upset with him but she was upset.

"I will join you shortly."

He left her to work it out on her own. She hadn't told him what the problem was but she wasn't hiding the fact that there was something wrong. When and if she needed his help she'd let him know.

T'Pol sat trying to clear her mind. Release this sense of dread that had enveloped her. What was it exactly that had reached out and gripped her insides so tightly that it was difficult to breath? She was ready to try to mediate and moved to her meditation pillow, gathered her thoughts, and stared at the flame.

---

Hoshi and Malcolm came to make dinner plans and T'Pol had finished meditating. Soval and T'Les were joining them so the choice of restaurant had to be considered more carefully. "I suggest we ask Mr. Rodgers for suggestions."

Hoshi went to the window. "Good idea. But Trip when you ask make sure to make a point that we prefer not to be the center of attention." There were too many people hanging around down there to be guest or just passersby.

"I'll do my best. T'Les and T'Pol want human food. Soval has no preference. I'm open so that leaves you two." Trip stood anticipating their answer.

"You know me I'm not that picky but Hoshi's been talking about Asian or Chinese. Something hot and spicy." Malcolm answered for them both.

"I didn't know you liked spicy foods, Hoshi. Chef must drive you crazy with his 'there are 8o+ other people on this ship and I can't please them all speech'." Every time he requested something with a little kick he heard chef's speech about how he had to prepare dishes that were mild spice-wise because a majority of the crew didn't like spicy and wouldn't eat extra spicy or hot dishes.

"Actually Captain Archer gave me that Hajjlaran spice he got from that alien D'Marr. Said it was too hot for the two of you and T'Pol refused to even try it but he didn't want to just throw it away." The alien gave them coordinates to what he described as a haunted ship full of spare parts for some coffee and left the samples he'd brought on board with him.

"I prefer my food have more flavor than just hot and that stuff overpowered everything else." Trip remembered the gallon of water he drank trying to make the burning stop. When it finally did he was just happy he had taste buds left. "That was over three years ago. How can you still have any left?"

"I had chef put it in stasis and a little goes a long way." Archer had been right it was the hottest spice she'd ever tasted but she added it to chef's meals whenever the mood struck her.

---

"So you and Captain Archer were friends before you began serving on Enterprise?" T'Les had sensed the friendship between the two men and wondered how it was they became friends.

"We met during the trials of the warp program. We hit it off and we worked together to get his daddy's warp drive to work the way he designed it and when he got Enterprise he brought me along just like he promised he would.. The Captain did the same with Hoshi here. He convinced Starfleet she was the best linguist out there so they let her sign on. Jon even went to Brazil to persuade her to sign on early." Trip remembered those early days and while he missed those days of their close friendship he didn't miss the naive young man he'd been.

Three humans and three Vulcans having dinner with Soval's Vulcan security team nearby made them the main topic of conversation and kept every pair of eyes centered on their every move. The wait staff lingered near their table listening in. Every person who passed by made some comment unaware that the Vulcans could hear every word. The final straw was when a family rudely interrupted their meal seeking autographs, which were given with much more grace than deserved, and then proceeded to grill Soval, T'Les, and T'Pol with personal questions about themselves and Vulcans at large.

By evenings end T'Les was perplexed as to why humans found eating in a public place to be at all satisfying. Vulcans had no such practice as meals were taken in the privacy of ones home or in a common area at ones work place. Guest outside of family were rare as Vulcans refrained from forming personal relationships with those they worked with or were not related to. They were often separated from family for years at a time and lived very solitary lives and found it to be acceptable.

The three humans tried to explain that it wasn't always like this. Usually people went out and others minded their own business and allowed them their privacy but the Starfleet officers hadn't had that luxury since the Xindi attack and should have known they'd attract attention.

By the time Soval and T'Les boarded the shuttle to head back to the Consulate the weariness of being on display had begun to take its toll on them all.

---

"Okay we need to come up with a plan or this is going to be the worst time I've ever spent on Earth." Trip hit the bed face down and fully clothed.

"This was not how our time here was to be." T'Pol was glad to see her mother but...she wanted her to return to Vulcan. Trip had forgone contacting his parents so the couple could enjoy their time here together without familial obligations.

"It'll be fine. I was a little worried about how it would be with Soval but he's mellowed." They would get a couple of days leave time after the conference ended and he planned on going somewhere isolated and alone so if they could find a way to spend time with T'Les and Soval without all the onlookers he'd survive.

"The Ambassador is not a fine wine that gets better with age. I will agree that he has grown to appreciate some of your less irritating human traits."

"You really have a hang-up about Vulcans being seen as old don't you? But again what I said has nothing to do with age. I meant he has gotten more relaxed and less bitter than he used to be. He talked about hobbies and traveling around Earth and even tried to be friendlier tonight." He couldn't remember Soval ever asking anyone about his or her personal interest as he had at dinner. Trip learned they both liked to play 'Go' but could not find opponents that would play with them. Trip welcomed an opponent that could possibly beat him. He found satisfaction in being challenged and accepted Soval's invitation to come to the Consulate and play.

He reached for her hand. "I didn't know you saw me as irritating?"

She turned that eyebrow loss. "I said traits not you."

He didn't see the difference, his traits were him. "Really. And you don't have a few quirks of your own that might be considered less than pleasant?"

T'Pol reacted immediately to that barb. "My traits were not the topic."

Trip was amazed at how adept she'd gotten at deflecting his little jabs. "No, you're not going to get out of this that easily." He tightened his grip on her hand and pulled at it slightly. "Do you admit you have some unpleasant traits?"

"Perhaps." Not giving in but not resisting either.

Trip pulled her down to the bed. "Well for that small concession you get a backrub."

"First, I must tell you something." She placed her hands over his to stop their movement.

"Okay, what?"

"You and Captain Archer are always going on about this feeling you get that makes you wary of others."

"You mean in our gut?"

"Yes. I have never had such a feeling of foreboding before but I began feeling it when we were standing in the lobby downstairs and it is still with me."

"That's what was wrong. Do you know why?"

"No I tried to suppress it, then I tried to examine its source, but I can find no logical reason for it."

He pulled her close. "Logic has nothing to do with it." He searched his mind for what it was she was feeling. "Why can't I feel it?"

"I have shielded you from it. I did not wish to alarm you but something is not right and we need to be prepared for any eventuality."

"Stop shielding me." He felt the apprehension enter the bond. "All this attention has me worried too. Starfleet's going to start asking questions about you, me, Malcolm, and Hoshi if they see us plastered all over the headlines."

"I will talk to my mother and the Ambassador. It would be wise if they did not visit us here again."

"They attract attention but you and I are still here. And I may not hold your hand when we're off-duty here but it's still obvious we're together. So what good will it do to keep them away. We have to find someplace more secluded to stay." That would be difficult with all the damage to homes in the area. Many residents had sought shelter in the local hotels and motels so rooms were scarce.

"We can do nothing tonight." T'Pol began removing her shirt. "I believe you mentioned a backrub."

"Backrub? I did mention that didn't I. You meditated earlier so where exactly are you on the letting your control down scale?"

"I believe we could have a mutually satisfying evening."

He began to laugh. "Why do you insist on tickling me feet?" It wasn't fair that she could do that without touching him.

"I enjoy feeling your laughter and it excites you." It brought her a pleasant feeling also.

"Another of those strange effects only you have on me." He had always hated it when a girlfriend tickled him in the past but found it pleasurable when T'Pol did it.

---

"Commander Tucker."

Trip heard his name coming from across the room. He moved toward the Andorians. "Lieutenant what can I do for you?"

"Commander Shran would like us to join him for lunch." The Andorian officers were assigned to the conference room.

The pair were still unclear as to how the command structure worked. "It's fine with me but you need to clear it with..."

Before Trip could finish Frac spoke up. "Lt. Rostov, sir. We'll speak to him. I'm sorry we bothered you."

"It's not a bother it's just the way things work. You can talk to me about whatever you want but you report to Lt. Rostov about your assignments."

"Yes, sir."

"Have you two managed to get off Starfleet grounds?"

"We went to several 'clubs' I believe Ensign Mayweather and Carver called them. We ended the evening at a place called the Condor."

Leave it to Travis to introduce them to the seedier side of San Francisco. At least he had some taste. "Did you have a good time?"

"The evening proved to be very educational." Fric and Frac were both trying to act very casual but their antennae gave away their nervousness.

Educational? He'd never heard anyone refer to their experience at a strip club that way before. "I assume that's a euphemism for something I don't want to know and you don't want to tell me."

"If you mean we aren't going to give you details that's correct." Frac said in that straight forward way he had.

Trip almost laughed. If nothing else they were learning to be discreet. Previously they would have blurted out every detail of their evening to whomever would listen. "I think I saw Rostov when I came in so I'd try the corridor. He should be able to find someone to fill in for you during lunch."

Trip heard the snicker coming from behind him as the pair left. "Shran, you were testing them weren't you? Or testing me?"

"I sorry Commander Tucker but I need to know they will not simply abandon their duty if they are to become part of my crew."

"You're never sorry. You trusted me enough to do this so trust that if I don't think they can handle being part of your crew I'll tell you." Why did he always feel as if Shran laid out landmines and expected everyone to tiptoe around them.

"If I didn't trust you they would not be on your ship. I have to say they are receiving some rather unexpected lessons." Interacting with humans was part of the assignment but interpersonal relations were only expected to proceed so far.

"Well, if they're going to be part of a human crew what did you expect? They can't hole up in their quarters in their off hours. They are actually growing up and becoming very discreet with their private lives and they seem to fit in with the crew. No more of the arrogant or obnoxious behavior I've come to expect from Andorians." He liked it when he could get a direct hit in.

Shran didn't react. Instead he said nothing.

"So what are you supposed to be doing here? I thought you were just dropping off your Ambassador?" Trip hadn't reached any workable solution about who Shran was or what he really wanted in all the years he'd known him and he wasn't going to do it today.

Shran was bored standing around. His place was in space. "I am here observing and waiting to return the Ambassador to Andoria."

"Sounds like you're as thrilled to be here as I am. If you're here with the Ambassador why were T'Pol and I assigned to him?" One babysitter should be enough.

"Your admirals said there are Starfleet protocols to be followed. If we require your assistance I will contact you." Starfleet assigned an officer to every diplomat in attendance. Archer assigned Trip and T'Pol to the two they were most familiar with.

"Sounds good." Trip lost focus of the conversation. There was this strange feeling creeping through him. His mind was scrambling trying to latch onto the source but it remained illusive. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts he jumped when T'Pol spoke to him.

"Commander Tucker, you were expected in the main conference room 10 minutes ago."

"I'm sorry I was talking to Commander Shran..." Trip looked around the room. Shran was nowhere in sight and Trip did not remember him leaving. "Shran must have left. Can you describe that feeling you were having before and did you just feel it again?"

"It is difficult to describe but I did feel it again." It was something very dark and foreboding reaching out to her. Actually reaching out to both of them.

"It's not coming through our bond is it?" He knew the answer because if it was he would have easily identified the source as T'Pol.

"It is coming from someone or something outside of us." They both had referred to the feeling as it, which confirmed T'Pol's assessment that it most likely was not another being.

"Is there anyone at the Consulate who might be able to figure this out?" They must have someone who had experience with this empathic or telepathic stuff.

"We could speak to Ambassador Soval. He will know if anyone can help us."

"Let's do that later. We better get to the conference room before they miss us and send out a search team."

Walking down the corridor Trip heard a voice and stopped. Had T'Pol been at all distracted she would have collided with him. He felt her hand at his back. "Sorry. I thought I heard my Mom. Sounded just like she used to when she was pissed about something one of us kids did."

T'Pol directed his attention to the reception area where a small framed woman had the Ensign at the desk backed up against the wall. "Is that by chance your mother?"

"Son-of-a...what the hell is she doing?" Trip caught the movement in the corridor to her left. Several of the Starfleet security staff were coming to assist. Charles Tucker II was attempting to calm his wife down but she batted him away and continued her assault on the young ensign.

Trip ran to his father's side and tried to pull her back. "Mom. Stop. What do you think you're doing? They'll throw you in the brig for assaulting a Starfleet officer." There could be no doubt where his impulsiveness came from.

Mrs. Tucker shook her finger in the young ensign's face. "See I told you he was here." She turned to Trip. "This young man insisted he couldn't give us any information on the crew of Enterprise and when I told him I knew you were here he refused to track you down."

"That's standard procedure. Too many crazies who want to meet the crew so they don't give out our whereabouts. What are you doing here?" Starfleet had changed the rules after Enterprise returned from the Xindi mission. The public stalked the crew for autographs, pictures, and sometimes just to touch them. Then there were the real crazies who were not thrilled at the idea of Starfleet venturing out into space fearing more attacks as other races became aware of Earth and wanted to let the Starfleet officers know the error of their ways.

"Your Vulcan's mother contacted us. She wanted to meet us and suggested we surprise you. Your last letter was..."

Trip twinged at the 'your Vulcan's' comment and put up his hand. "Shhh...We can't talk about that here. You and Dad go sit over there, please. We need to go take care of a couple of things." He spoke to the ensign then went across to speak to his Mom. "We'll be right back. You might want to apologize to him. He was only doing his job."

"I'll think about it." Mrs. Tucker gave the ensign a less than happy look.

He wanted to yell at her to try practicing some of that southern graciousness she drilled into him as a kid, but instead he kept the agitation and anger to himself. He walked away hoping she'd realize how ridiculous her behavior had been and reconsider the apology.

He looked back at T'Pol as they continued toward the conference room with his stomach at about knee level. "Is this some big cosmic joke or what? What did I do to deserve this?"

"You are not pleased to see your parents?"

"I told you I didn't want to deal with them." He wanted to wait until they had a longer stretch of time so he had time afterwards. "Since I decided to join Starfleet it's been one disagreement after another. I ignored it when Lizzie was alive because she asked me to and I'd have done anything for her." Trip of course tried to stay in touch. He sent them birthday and Christmas cards. He also sent them an occasional letter, keeping them up to date on his travels and the last letter he'd written told them about T'Pol but he'd avoided seeing them face to face.

Trip was unsure of his parent's reactions to him being with a Vulcan. He loved his parents but they didn't always see eye to eye about his plans or choices. And when Lizzie died there was no longer a buffer between them. His younger brother couldn't handle their criticism once Lizzie was gone and had left for parts unknown. Trip heard from him when they returned after the Xindi. He'd sent a note that said 'Great job saving planet Earth. Hope you can get back to exploring now. Love you. Stay safe. John.' Other than that he only heard from him on his birthday and at Christmas, but had no idea where he lived so he couldn't get in touch with him.

"Why have you never told me this before?"

"What? That my parents don't want me to be in Starfleet, in space?"

"Yes. I always thought you were very close." It suddenly struck T'Pol that after the attack he had never expressed concern over his parents, only Lizzie. She'd discovered he had a brother during their many hours of talking during neuro-pressure. The Tucker home was destroyed during the attack, forcing his parents to relocate to Mississippi, but he'd only been angry and upset about his sister. Why hadn't anyone noticed this before? Why hadn't she? T'Pol had found it odd for all the closeness the Captain claimed there was between them that he hadn't known anything about Trip's family. He hadn't even known he had a younger sister until the attack. At the time she let it go, assuming it was another aspect of human friendships she didn't understand, and began to concentrate on helping Trip deal with the total devastation the loss of his sister had caused.

"They're my parents and I love them but..." He shook his head. "...it's not important."

"Do not do that. It is important they are your family."

"I know I should have talked to you about this before but T'Les had no right to contact them without talking to me first." He stopped and turned to her.

"I went to Florida with Malcolm after the attack. I never saw my parents because when I contacted them they were devastated and all they could say was we shouldn't be in space and they wanted me to resign and come home where I would be safe. Didn't matter that Lizzie was safely at home when she died or that we'd never met the species in that pod we recovered so we couldn't have been responsible for them locating and attacking Earth. None of that mattered to them. What I wanted didn't matter to them. Lizzie was able to get them to at least pretend to accept my choices but once she was gone they stopped trying to be understanding."

"Do you think they'll object to me as your mate?" This had always been a concern but now it was a very real possibility.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I shouldn't have to justify my choices to my parents and I'm tired of trying. The only one who has the right to expect that is you." Trip bounced between anger and exasperation.

"Is this why your brother left?" T'Pol could feel that this was a painful topic. She was aware his brother was gone and that he'd tried to find him but that's all Trip had told her.

"I think so. He took off before we were got back to Earth so I never got the chance to talk to him but that's the only reason I can think of. He still writes me but he must be afraid Mom and Dad will find him so he won't tell me where he is." Trip had recently considered asking Malcolm to help him locate John, but then decided to respect his brother's choice to remain hidden from his family. If he didn't he'd be guilty of the same thing his parents were and that might push John to break all contact with him.

T'Pol needed time, as did Trip, to process the recent events so she changed the subject. "What do you wish to tell the Captain?"

"I don't know yet. I need you to promise me that no matter what you're not going to let them come between us or let anything they might say or do get to you." Trip wouldn't allow them to come between them but as far as getting to him they always did.

"Nothing will come between us, we are bonded. I would wish for your parents to accept me but if they do not I will not be offended." If T'Pol had been the cause of the difficulties between Trip and his parents, she might have felt something but their problems started long ago so now all she could do was support and care for her mate.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Unreasonable Fear of the Unseen**

"Commander T'Pol." Travis practically ran across the room.

"Yes Ensign."

"Could you please sign off on this? I've been trying to get a shuttlepod reserved for tomorrow but they say I need a senior officer's signature."

T'Pol read the padd. "This is to return to Enterprise?"

"Yes ma'am. I ran into an old friend. She's been assigned to write a story about Enterprise and I promised to give her a tour and some background." Travis had one of those full on smiles of his plastered across his face.

Trip watched Travis bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet and quietly spoke to him. "You're awfully nervous about an old friend. Sure she's not an old flame?"

"Not sure what she is, but I think I'm about to find out?" Gannett had implied that she wanted to explore the possibility of renewing their romantic relationship. Mayweather suddenly thought of something and inquired of Commander T'Pol, "It's okay if I take her up to the ship isn't it?"

T'Pol took the padd and signed off on the request. Her voice betrayed no hint of her amusement at Travis' obvious nervousness. "Of course. You are aware of which areas are restricted. You'll just need to be careful to avoid the work areas. We wouldn't want your guest to be injured."

"We'll be careful. Thanks." Travis paused for a second trying to determine if T'Pol was being serious or not then bolted for the door.

Trip watched him go. "That boy sure gets around. Must be the way he was raised traveling from place to place." Travis Mayweather was comfortable anywhere and seemed to either know or got to know several people wherever he went. Trip wondered how he stayed that way through the last several years. He had been carefree and loose when they first set out but so much had happened to him/them that he found it difficult to totally relax and just enjoy himself anymore. Would he ever be that free again?

"Did you get the Andorians straightened out?" Trip hadn't seen T'Pol all morning. The Andorian Ambassador had a rough session with the Tellarites and the Coridans. Discussions regarding the ongoing disputes over travel routed through their territories and reigning in the Orions illegal activities had stalled and the Andorians were losing patience. T'Pol had spent hours working with the Ambassador's staff coming up with options that might be acceptable to all parties.

"We found several other agreements the Coridans have signed in the past and are trying to reword the proposed agreements to make them more acceptable."

"I've spent the morning with Soval. We started a game of 'go' and talked about the conference. He's concerned the Coridans are going to stir up trouble with the Andorians again. Vulcan's agreements with Andoria have just gone into affect and the Coridans are insisting they have a say in who has access to some of the trade routes. Maybe you can do something about the security of the routes that pass closest to Vulcan while you're there to prevent any problems down the road."

"The Ambassador spoke to you about trade negotiations?" T'Pol wasn't really surprised.

"At first I thought he was just talking to try to sort it all out like we humans do. You know it helps us to say things outloud. When I realized he was being very specific about certain details I somehow knew he wanted me to tell you about what's on his mind. What I don't understand is why he didn't just talk to you directly." He also wasn't sure how it was he knew what Soval was up to. His shields had been firmly in place so he shouldn't have been picking up any stray thoughts from him.

"I am here to represent Starfleet not Vulcan and if it appears I am collaborating with Ambassador Soval it would undermine my ability to do my job. He understands and accepts the position I am in but he also wishes to use my position when he sees I can fulfill my duty and assist my people at the same time." Balancing her duty to Starfleet and her duty to her own people was a struggle she would face as long as she was in Starfleet.

"Does he ever just take the direct route? It would have been so much better if he'd just told me what he needed you to know instead I had to listen to him drone on and on about the treaty and all the issues Vulcan and Andoria have faced over the years." Trip had noticed Soval rarely did things the most direct way unless he was angry, which as a Vulcan he wasn't ever supposed to be.

"Perhaps he thought to educate you on the intricacies of diplomacy. You should summarize the content of the discussion. There may be information I need in what he said to you."

Anger started to build inside him. "I refuse to sit here and try to repeat what he said. If he needs you to know details then he's just going to have to write them down and have me deliver them. You're lucky I figured out what he was up to. And I'm not sitting through anymore endless hours of the history of Vulcan/Andorian relations even for you." He'd spent his morning listening to all this he wasn't about to spend the afternoon spouting it all back out again.

"You are unwilling to assist me with forging the best agreement possible for all parties?"

"That's not fair and you know it. I'm an engineer that got stuck down here playing taxi driver and sounding board to a bunch of cranky old men while the mechanics at space dock are screwing up my engines again. I just got them back to how I want them and now we have to start over. I think I've been very patient about being bored to death." He'd had to meditate daily between the routine for the conference and the nightly routine with their family. The game with Soval should have been relaxing and helped and it had until he realized that Soval was using him to pass messages.

"Then I would think you would welcome something to occupy your mind." She wasn't surprised at his reaction. He had been patient about having to be at the conference taking the Ambassadors and their staffs from place to place. Listening to them talk about border skirmishes or the other minor details of negotiations could be daunting even for her.

He had more than enough to occupy his mind. "I prefer working on machines because they don't talk and the problems may be difficult and take time but they have straight forward solutions. I hate all of this..." The anger exploded. "...and next time you two decide to use me to pass notes it might be nice if you asked me first." Trip was due for a tour of the Andorian Consulate. Shran had arranged it as part of his plan to make it appear the Commander was fulfilling his Starfleet duties to assist Ambassador Jehres. He'd have preferred to return to the office Soval had appropriated to finish their game of 'go', provided he could make Soval understand he was not going to listen to his history lessons again.

Trip walked halfway across the room before the guilt hit. He came back to face T'Pol. "I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. I'd rather be outside digging through rubble than babysitting in here. These people drone on and on till my ears hurt and Samuels buzzes around like a mosquito that I just want to keep batting away." With Samuels in charge, Trip marveled that they accomplished anything at all. He hadn't changed. He didn't seem to have an original thought about anything but took credit for everything.

"The conference is almost over." T'Pol knew he was overwrought because of this duty and then he had no relief when off-duty due to their parents.

"Yeah but we're stuck here for another couple of weeks until the refit is done. What have they got planned for us once the conference is over?" He'd rather be on the ship starting to repair what the refit crews were putting back to Starfleet specs. It all seemed like his life had become this endless game of him taking the best strategic position, but the rules kept changing and weren't his own, and he no longer wished to play. "I need a hug, but I can't even hold your hand and it's driving me crazy."

---

"Where'd he go?" Malcolm asked T'Pol. They'd gone to a local festival with T'Les and the Tuckers. The parents never stopped discussing their children. By humans standards T'Les had appeared calm but even Malcolm saw that she was having difficulty hiding her anger.

"He's sitting on the stairs." T'Pol started out the door.

"Let me talk to him. I think for once I really understand where he's coming from and maybe I can help." Malcolm Reed had not known that Trip had difficulties with his parents. During the hours they'd spoken of Mal's parents Trip spoke of his sister and his childhood in such a way that lead Malcolm to believe Trip and his family had a good relationship. And everyone said Malcolm was hard to get to know.

Trip sat in the stairwell trying to determine exactly what it was that prevented him from confronting his parents. Was it just that he was tired of the argument over the direction his life had taken or was there something else?

Malcolm opened the door slowly handing Trip a beer. "Can we talk?"

"Sure. Maybe you can help me get some perspective on the invasion of the pod people." He waited for the retort from Malcolm about his use of movie references.

"Some questionable science fiction movie you haven't tortured us with."

"Kind of but it's my own unique combination of plots. Let's see the pod people arrive and while they seem perfectly harmless they stalk you until they overtake every thought and feeling, you have. They've even managed to invade the mind of a Vulcan and take her over. Soval says it's just T'Les being a protective mother to both of us but where's all that Vulcan control and suppression of emotions whenever she gets within ten feet of the pod people? It's like they've cast some spell over her." Trip assumed Malcolm would think he was crazy, as T'Les appeared to be the epitome of control, but he knew better. She hid it but when he relaxed his barriers, just a fraction, he could feel the emotions T'Les found difficult to suppress.

Reed didn't have the experience reading Vulcans that Trip had but agreed that T'Les was having a hard time with the Tuckers. He knew full well what havoc ones parents could wreak on ones life. "Man you've got it bad. I thought I was the only one who wallowed in the pits of despair where parents were concerned."

"I hear Hoshi's having issues with her Mom and Dad too. Maybe there's some microbe in the air or water supply that only affects parents."

"Our parents are on three different continents, it's unlikely. Besides, mine have been cold and distant for always. I joined Starfleet to get away from them. From what you've said yours were fine until you went into space and then really changed when the Xindi thing happened. And Hoshi's are just having to deal with my not being Japanese, or Shinto, or Buddhist. They'll get over it."

Trip thought he caught a small amount of hope in his voice. "So you think they'll come around?"

"We're going to go see them whether they like it or not. I'm not taking all that crap she brought to put into storage back with us. And if they can't accept me, at least they'll know I care very much for their daughter and she'll be safe with me. I can't become Japanese and I'm not about to convert so they don't have much choice. Hoshi's not very close to them since her grandparents passed on, but she wants to maintain her relationship with them. Her parents weren't thrilled when she went into space either but they've become more open to the idea since she returned from the expanse unharmed." They only saw her new-found maturity because Hoshi hadn't told them any details of her experiences so as not to add to their reasons why she should return to Earth.

"That's what I've been trying to do with my parents. Thought they'd eventually come around and I thought I owed it to Lizzie to do what she can't but all they want is for me to resign Starfleet and come live in Mississippi." Trip cringed every time the thought of living in Mississippi entered his mind.

"Are they okay about T'Pol?"

"I don't know. They haven't asked a thing about her, which is odd since they want a wedding. I already explained we're not getting married until the time is right and that it will be on Vulcan, but they insist we have to get married right away. They even have a house picked out for us to live in. Doesn't matter that I'll never consider Mississippi home. My home was Florida and it was destroyed by the Xindi." If getting married meant he had to leave Starfleet they didn't seem to care who he married.

"So take Lizzie out of this and what do you want?"

"I want my parents to let me grow up but since that's not going to happen I want to go get T'Pol, pack our things, and just leave them here." He'd played out that scenario so many times and ways over the last two days.

"Is there someplace to go?"

"Soval says there are these bungalows at the Vulcan Compound that we're welcomed to use. There's one for T'Pol and I and if you and Hoshi want to go then you're more than welcomed." Trip had considered this but didn't think Malcolm and Hoshi would wish to go and he didn't want to leave them behind.

"Let's do it. One condition though." Getting away from the spectators would be welcomed.

"What?" The dread of another demand was obvious in Trip's voice.

"You can't tell them where we're going. We need a quiet place to be and if they know where you are you'll just be moving the problem from one place to another."

"I wasn't going to tell them." His parents storming the gates of the Vulcan Consulate was not a pretty picture at all. "So you don't think I'm acting like a ten year old running away?"

"Well if you are I'm probably the wrong one to ask because I did the same thing." Malcolm remembered what he'd felt like when he finally accepted that his only recourse, if he wanted his own life, was to leave home. Trip evidently was coming up against some truths he hadn't been ready to face.

---

Trip grabbed her hand. "Come with me." He entered the bedroom and started stuffing his things into the bag.

"Are you leaving?"

"No we're leaving. Do you think I'd leave you here with them?" Pushing the door shut before he continued, "Soval offered us a place to stay at the Vulcan compound and we're going to take him up on it."

"Are you sure this is what you want to do? Living amongst Vulcans may be difficult for you."

"We won't be in the main buildings and he assured me we'd have privacy. They already know about us so we won't have to hide and there's security to keep the public out and best of all no parents." A sense of relief washed over him.

T'Pol felt a release of tension inside. His and her own. "You do not wish to inform your parents of where you will be?"

"We're not informing anyone we don't have to. Is that a problem?" He realized he hadn't asked her but told her what they were going to do.

"What will we tell my mother?" Her mother was staying at the Consulate so she would know where they were at some point.

"The same thing I'm going to tell my parents. If they want to see us they need to come to Starfleet and we'll set up a time. And no more joint visits. I don't know about you but I'm tired of listening to them argue and plan out our lives like we have no say in them at all. Malcolm went to get Hoshi and he's going to meet us in the lobby in 20 minutes. Soval's sending a shuttlepod." He could feel her apprehension. Maybe he should have discussed this with her first.

T'Pol watched him continue to pack. She almost said her mother was Vulcan and did not argue but he was right. She may show no outward signs of being angry but the fact that she was engaging in the ongoing discussions with the Tuckers denoted her emotions. T'Pol would have preferred working things out but they were his parents and her mother had become even more unrecognizable since the Tucker's arrival. She began packing her own bags.

---

"Are you going somewhere?" Charles Tucker asked his son when he saw him come out with the bags.

"Yep. Our shuttle should be here any minute." Trip handed over the key card for the room. "The room is paid for up through the end of the week so you're welcomed to stay until then."

"How can you do this to your mother?" His father stepped in front of him.

"I'm not just doing this to mother I'm doing it to all of you and you've left me no choice." That wasn't the truth he had several choices this was just the one he made.

"We came all the way to California to see you even though you didn't bother to contact us and now you're not going to spend any time with us?"

The not contacting them should have been a big red flag but they seemed to have missed it. Guilt. That was their ace in the hole and he'd let them play it every time, but not today. He needed time. "If you want to see us come by Starfleet and we'll set something up. I hoped when we saw you you'd see that I have a good life and I'm happy but you can't. I love you both but I'm never going to be or do whatever it is you want." He and T'Pol wanted to explore themselves, their relationship, and space and hopefully find where it was they wanted to be once they decided to settle down.

T'Les just stood there not saying anything. Trip turned to the door, avoiding her intentionally. There was much he wanted to say to her but now was not the time.

"Charles." T'Les called out to him but Trip kept walking for fear his anger would spill out and he didn't want that.

"Trip."

Like mother like daughter he thought. He recognized the tone and the tactic. In the early days T'Pol had used it many times when he was upset and she wished to disarm him.

When he got fully turned around he saw the look in T'Les' eyes. He spoke to her in Vulcan. "I'm sorry about this. We'll work things out, I promise. I hope you understand."

"I have brought shame upon my daughter." T'Les had summoned his parents here and this had caused great pain to Charles.

Trip ignored his parent s shocked expressions. He did wonder if it was because he was speaking Vulcan at all or that he was excluding them by speaking in Vulcan. "No you haven't. This is as much my fault as anybody's. Come have lunch with me tomorrow and maybe I can explain some of this to you." Trip was focused on the cerebral side of his brain so he could keep his barriers intact.

"Not even a mother may embarrass her child." T'Les looked down to the floor. The same way T'Pol did when she couldn't face whatever was going on inside.

Trip stepped closer fighting the urge to reach out to lift her chin but instead grasped her hand. "It'll be okay." T'Pol and T'Les had had a rocky relationship but once T'Pol and Trip told her they were a betrothed couple something changed and T'Les accepted that she no longer had a say in her child's future. That responsibility had passed on to her mate. Trip did not want to see this come between the two of them.

"Good night mother." T'Pol tilted her head downward and followed Trip out.

---

"Hey, Captain haven't seen much of you. They must be keeping you pretty busy." Trip was on his way to the commissary to meet T'Les.

"I've met with so many Ambassadors and diplomats they're all starting to overlap in my head. Can't keep them straight anymore. You haven't seen Hoshi by chance?"

"Not since last night. She and Malcolm took off on their own to get away from the snake pit that has become my life."

"Parents causing some problems?" Archer hadn't seen them but was aware of Mrs. Tucker's action when they arrived.

"Not causing problems, they are the problem. If we spend time with T'Les my folks are upset and if we spend time with my folks T'Les gets left out. So then, we tried spending time with both of them at the same time and that's a worst disaster. They start sniping at each other and we might as well not even be there." The only good thing was that Trip and T'Pol had been drawn into the disagreements.

"Sounds complicated."

"Nothing complicated about it at all. We chucked them all overboard." If all went well his parents would go home and wait until he contacted them.

"Hope that works." Archer shifted the papers he carried to the other arm losing several in the process. He bent down to retrieve them. "I'm supposed to be meeting with the Kreetassans to negotiate terms for a trade agreement later today."

"You're kidding? Did anyone at Starfleet read our mission reports? No eating or dogs allowed I take it." Both encounters Enterprise had had with the Kreetassans had gone south in a hurry.

"I don't understand it either but their Ambassador requested me. They feel as if I understand them so they trust me to be fair." Completing that ritual not only got them their injectors it also bought them some trust.

"Wow, maybe we should find ways for you to humiliate yourself with all the species who don't like us. Just think how many more members we could have in the Coalition if we did." Trip let out a roar of laughter at Jon's expense.

"You're not very funny." Archer tried not to laugh but couldn't stop himself. He held up the thick stack of documents he was holding. "I need to find Hoshi to translate these new rules of etiquette with me so I don't offend them again. Starfleet wouldn't find any humor in my having to cut down a tree and recite some ancient words in the square outside."

"Try the Cultural Center. They had her assigned there last I knew." How did Jon take all this diplomacy stuff in stride?

Trip turned to walk away and then remembered something and came back. "Captain, do you think Starfleet will have a problem with us moving to stay at the Vulcan compound?"

"What? I didn't know they allowed non-Vulcans to stay there."

"Soval offered and we'd drawn so much interest where we were that we were starting to feel like prisoners in our rooms." Trip had looked for new rooms but hadn't found any.

"Well, you've informed your Captain so I'd say you've fulfilled your obligation on that front and I have so much on my mind I simply forgot to mention it to HQ."

"You sure? I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble." Trip was grateful to avoid any more problems.

"Don't worry about it. They just need to know how to find you in an emergency and you're carrying your communicator's so just do what you need to do."

"Thanks. If anybody, and I mean anybody else asks where we are just tell them where they can find us when we're on duty and we'll take care of the rest. Malcolm and Hoshi are there to." Trip had already left very specific instructions with the ensign at the reception desk.

"Okay." The Captain was dumbfounded. Trip and T'Pol were in hiding from their parents and Soval was helping them. Had Trip or T'Pol asked for his help? Trip hadn't sought him out for advice or just a shoulder so he must be out of the loop again.

---

"Ambassador have you seen Commander Tucker?" T'Pol had searched the grounds and several places within the Consulate. She had tried using their bond but while he was still present his whereabouts were not clear.

"I believe he is with T'Les. They inquired about any training being held here. My assistant gave them a schedule and they departed." Soval tried to pretend he hadn't seen the concern in T'Pol's eyes.

"Thank you Ambassador." T'Pol headed toward the exit and to the area where training took place.

She entered the room quietly so as not to disturb the occupants. Trip was deep in meditation when she arrived but was immediately pulled back to the real world when he felt a bolt of what he could only perceive as lightening ripping through him. His eyes locked with hers and she abruptly turned and left. Trip felt the sharpness of her anger and without thinking got up and followed her.

"What's wrong?" He tried to keep up but her strides kept lengthening. She had shorter legs than he so how she managed to increase the distance baffled him. "T'Pol stop. Please."

T'pol stopped abruptly and shot around to face him. "What were you thinking?"

"About what, exactly?"

"DO you fully understand what the technique you were attempting is?"

"T'Les said it would help me with my emotions. Make it easier for me to deal with them." He'd wanted to be able to put these feelings away and T'Les had offered a way for him to do that.

"It would not be helpful it would be dangerous." She took his hand in hers and with pleading in her voice asked, "Please return to the bungalow and allow me to speak to my mother."

Her mother followed by a priest had reached her location. "Mother you obviously have not included any psychological data in your recent studies of humans or you would know what damage what you were trying to teach Trip would do." T'Pol knew expressing her anger was wrong but she could not contain it. "He is my mate and I do not require your assistance to care for him."

The priest stepped forward to admonish her on her lack of control but refrained when her body turned and he was able to see directly into her eyes. The intensity of emotion he saw there made him retreat back inside the room they had just left.

Thus far T'Pol had remained in control although it had taken a lot out of her to do so. T'Les had not known what the consequences of her actions could be but T'Pol had no doubt she would now go find the data on humans that she should have read before suggesting such a course to Trip. Once T'Pol felt calmer, she would explain to her mother that in the future she should consult with T'Pol before suggesting Trip engage in any Vulcan rituals.

"I only wished to assist him after having been the cause of his current emotional state." She and the priest had begun teaching Trip a form of Kolinahr. T'Les sensed the intense distress her actions had caused T'Pol.

"Vulcans have nothing on his ability to bury his pain. It took months of neuro-pressure and talking to get him to let go of his emotions. Human physiology requires them to purge their emotions by expressing them. Suppressing them will destroy him both mentally and physically." The tenuousness of her control left T'Pol no choice but to leave. Her instinct to protect her mate overrode any instinct she might have previously held to protect her mother. "Good night mother." T'Pol turned and abruptly walked away.

Trip was coming back to the consulate. T'Pol sensed his presence just as her comm unit sounded. "Commander T'Pol here."

Captain Archer simply told her, "You and Trip need to come back to Starfleet. Right away."

"We're on our way." T'Pol went to the entrance to meet Trip. "We need to find Ambassador Soval and request a shuttle."

"I already did. I never gave him back the comm unit he gave me." Trip had been carrying it around since Soval gave it to him to summon a shuttle when they moved into the bungalow.

Malcolm joined them. "I assume you two are taking a shuttle. Mind if I ride along?"

"Fine. Are we waiting for Hoshi or wasn't she called back?"

"She never left. Some problem with the UT mixing up languages so she's been trying to debug the program." Malcolm had made her promise she wouldn't work too late.

"Any word on what's up." It had to be something pretty important or they wouldn't have called the Enterprise crew in.

"Nothing. I tried to get a hold of security over there but no one's answering." That told Reed that HQ had the place locked down tight.

---

Trip saw Archer. "Captain?"

Archer started issuing orders. "You two need to follow me. Lt. Reed you need to go to the interrogation rooms. Ensign Sato will fill you in." Archer went in the opposite direction to the medical wing.

Trip and T'Pol entered the room where surprisingly they found Phlox studying something on the screen above him.

T'Pol had no problem identifying what she saw. "That is Vulcan DNA and..." T'Pol couldn't finish the shock was too much.

"It is also human DNA. Yours and Commander Tuckers to be more precise." Phlox watched for their reactions. Both were prone to intense emotions and he wanted to offer assistance, if needed.

"What do you mean mine and T'Pol's?" On duty or not he was too stunned to care.

"I mean this is reproductive DNA made up from genetic material that belongs to the both of you."

"Reproductive as in baby?" Trip asked.

"Yes."

"That's not possible." Trip felt T'Pol react to that statement. A warning to be more careful before he said something to bring on questions he wasn't prepared to answer.

"Well, according to this embryo it most certainly is." Phlox hadn't thought it possible but in light of the evidence in front of him he would have to revise his previous beliefs. "We already knew that a past me found a way to combine your DNA when we met Lorian. In this time someone else must be perfecting the science."

"Where did it come from?" T'Pol moved closer to Trip and took his hand for support.

Captain Archer explained the events leading up to this discovery. "A woman came into the conference. She was asking for one of you." He pointed to the table next to Phlox. "Just before she collapsed she gave me that test tube and said 'he has almost succeeded and you must stop him'. I had the doctor examine the contents and you just heard what he found." Starfleet security was still investigating how she had gotten into the conference. Security had not been as tight as it was during the day when all the participants were present but she still should not have been able to enter the building and then been shot without someone noticing something.

"Who is this woman and where did she get an embryo from our DNA." The implications of what this meant still hadn't sunk in and Trip was reeling.

"Her name is Susan Khouri. She was a medical technician and she disappeared a year ago."

"How did she get our DNA and why was she carrying around an embryo?" T'Pol was almost as stunned as Trip but she kept her reaction hidden. With his swirling emotions it was becoming difficult to maintain that expressionless demeanor of hers. She reached for his hand again and squeezed.

"We don't know. All we know is she came to tell you something but she was shot before she could find you." She had been transferred to Starfleet medical and was still unconscious.

"Is there anything else?" Trip wanted to get out of here and now.

"There's nothing else I can tell you." Phlox turned off the monitor.

"Captain I need...we need a minute." Trip was already to the door pulling T'Pol behind him. How was it possible? T'Pol hadn't been pregnant a year ago and if she had been he would have known and since then it simply wasn't possible.

Archer sympathized with them both. If he could have waited to tell them, he would have but they had no way of knowing when or if they would discover who was behind this. "There's not much else you can do. I'll get Malcolm on this and we'll let you know what we find."

T'Pol stopped before she got to the door. "Then we're going back to our room. Call us if you hear anything else." T'Pol wished to return to the Consulate. She would have access to whatever she needed there and she and Trip could more easily deal with the violent surges of emotion flowing through each of them.

Trip had been feeling like he was on the upside of a roller coaster ride since the arrival of his parents. They were constantly pushing him higher and higher but he had successfully held his himself in check at the precipice for days. But when Phlox said it was his and T'Pol's DNA his stomach moved upward and choked off his lungs and then came the physical sensation of dropping downward into the abyss of the unknown.

---

"Gannett what's going on? Is what they're saying true? Are you a Terra Prime spy? Did you just come here to use me to gather information? Were you just playing me?" Travis continued pacing afraid if he stopped the crushing weight he felt in his chest would pierce through his lungs and stop his breathing. Hoshi had just explained that she had been spying on the participants at the conference. Her listening device had triggered something in the program, which Hoshi had traced back to her headset.

"Shhh..we can't talk here. Come inside and I'll explain everything." Travis followed thinking it a good sign that she was no longer in the brig and there were no security people with them.

"So why are you really here?" Patience gone he needed answers.

"I work for Starfleet Intelligence. I'm here to find out who the Terra Prime operative is on Enterprise." Gannett had had to ask special permission to tell Travis this.

"So you're not a reporter?" Disbelief and anger fought for control of the usually even-tempered Mayweather. "How long?"

"Since right after the Xindi attacked. I wanted to do my part to protect Earth." Gannett had seen strong emotions from Travis when they parted on Earth but at this moment they frightened her.

That she wasn't a spy for Terra Prime pleased him but she had still used him. "So the only way you could think to get information was to hook up with me again. Thanks."

"It wasn't just that and you know it. I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't still feel something for you and you know that."

"Really. I thought I knew you but evidently I don't because the Gannett I used to know wouldn't have considered hooking up with an old boyfriend like that much less actually done it." Travis' thoughts drifted back to his quarters and the hours they'd spent there. "And you laid there and listened to me ramble on how I might need to reconsider my choices and stay put for a while. How could you?" Travis couldn't stand being in the same room with her. He clenched his fists trying to hold in the anger as he walked away.

"Travis wait. There's a Terra Prime operative on your ship and they're trying to use you to stir up their followers and cause problems between Earth and other species." Gannett yelled.

"Goodbye." He said taking long strides down the corridor. His anger leveled out a little and his thoughts swirled. Gannett had betrayed him and there was or is a spy on Enterprise. The last words he heard were "be careful" as he rounded the corner on his way to find the Captain and Commanders.

---

"Can you get Enterprise operational?"

Trip hadn't seen the ship but he'd read through the refit procedures and knew what was involved. The warp core had been replaced last visit so several of the auxiliary systems they were unable to replace, due to time constraints then, were being replaced now.

"We won't be fully operational but we should be able to get the warp drive back together and weapons weren't set for any major work in this round of refits so I think we can do it if I have the cooperation of the engineers at Jupiter Station along with my own crew." The steps to complete the job were running in his head.

Archer studied Trip for a minute. Was his judgment being clouded by his own interest in finding Terra Prime and what it was they were doing with his senior officers DNA and knowing that both Trip and T'Pol would want to be involved? Reed had contacted Section 31 and Harris had given him all the available details about Khouri and her suspected connection to Terra Prime. Malcolm then traced the group through other sources and found they were operating out of a mining facility that the leader owned. All the questions didn't matter because Archer needed Trip to get Enterprise operational and then he'd need him to keep them flying.

"I'll talk to Gardner. He's going to have to get approval." Archer had no choice and both he and Trip knew it.

"Captain is it okay if I have Travis head back to Enterprise with us to begin prepping one of the shuttlepods?" Trip wanted everything ready to go once Starfleet gave the go ahead.

"Get him, Reed, Hoshi, T'Pol and whomever else you need and start working on getting us ready to go. Have Reed select his best team to go along and tell Hoshi to bring her kit along." Hoshi had put together her own little carry along kit that had everything she needed to tap into any comm system. She said she'd gotten the idea when she saw Trip's engineering kit that he took to repair other ships or when he went on away missions. Archer couldn't put his finger on what was wrong but he felt something when he caught T'Pol watching Trip every chance she got. There was no obvious signs of concern on her part but something was off.

---

Trip pounded the table. "Captain I want to go down there. It's our DNA their messing around with."

"That's exactly why you're not going." He saw that T'Pol was going to say something. "You're not going either T'Pol." Archer had already decided so there was no room for discussion. The Captain was sure it wasn't a coincidence that this Paxton was using their DNA, which could only mean they would be recognized the instant they stepped foot in the mining colony.

Malcolm could see the anguish on Trip's face and judging by the muscles in T'Pol's upper arm she must be squeezing his hand, rather firmly, under the table. "Let me do my job. You know I'll do whatever I have to to find out what he's doing down there."

Trip got up from the table and stormed out of the room. Archer followed leaving T'Pol to wonder if she should remain here or see to her mate.

"Trip stop." Archer called out to the figure moving rapidly down the corridor.

Trip heard the Captain but ignored him. Archer hadn't ordered him, so he felt no need to comply.

Archer quickened his pace in an attempt to catch the younger man but soon found himself standing at a juncture in the corridor, trying to discern which direction Trip had taken. T'Pol found Archer just as he reached the comm unit on the wall. He stopped. "I want to talk to Trip. Do you know where he went?"

T'Pol focused on her mate. He was in the forward observation deck but she wished to speak to him without the Captain present. "He is well. If you go to the Mess Hall I will send him to see you there." No one had eaten today and the Captain needed to remain clear-headed and strong.

"You want to talk to him first?" This situation was becoming more and more untenable for Archer. T'Pol would never disobey a direct order but if he issued that order now it would drive that wedge between them even farther, but he needed to make it clear to Trip that he was in charge and doing what he thought was best.

"I know you're his friend but you cannot help him." T'Pol realized then that she still didn't trust Archer with regards to their personal life and she was still intensely angry with the Captain for abandoning Trip in the expanse and for his slight to her culture and her personally. To her he'd accused her of trapping Trip by bonding with him. Not to mention what his attitude said about what he thought of Trip's ability to make choices for himself. "You are angry and upset that he reacted to your decision so emotionally and if you confront him now he will feel that anger and bury his emotions deeper and deeper inside where even I will not reach him."

This was her fear. She had elicited a promise that he would not engage in any further Vulcan techniques without discussing it with her first but he'd refused to say anything about the Kolinahr except that the priest had explained it would take many sessions to learn and he had only begun mastering the first step.

Great he thought. "He can feel my emotions? Because you're empathic?" Archer felt a shockwave in his head.

"Even if I were to remove myself from the bond Commander Tucker would feel those emotions. It is apparent that humanity is acquiring new abilities for the future or had them in the past and no longer uses them. Ensign Sato also exhibits telepathic sensitivity, which adds supporting data to my hypothesis." T'Pol had done minimal research on the subject after finding only exposes' of humans who had claimed such abilities but had been made out to be freaks or charlatans out to take advantage of their fellow humans.

T'Pol wasn't the only Vulcan that had gotten inside his head. "So you Vulcans tapped into his brain and his own abilities woke up." He'd never been concerned about T'Pol sensing the crew's emotions because she'd explained that she shielded herself from them and that Vulcan etiquette required she not use her abilities without permission. Trip being human meant he was used to reading body language and other non-verbal cues to make judgments about people and if Trip could now sense emotions, he would feel no need to ask permission to use his senses. He might not even be aware he was doing it. This could make it more difficult when Archer found himself having to be less than forthright with his senior staff regarding command decisions.

"It seems so." Explaining further would not make this news any easier for the Captain to understand or accept.

"I'm surprised you told me about this. Why did you?" They hadn't told him anything for months when he asked and now she volunteered information.

"We do not wish to keep things from you but my culture sees the bond between mates as intimate and private. And you have shown yourself to be less than understanding about Vulcan culture. You have accepted what you cannot change to remain his friend but you still believe our connection to be wrong." T'Pol was using all her reserves to keep her emotions suppressed.

Archer saw that he had made no inroads in his personal relationship with T'Pol. He could see the anger burning deep in her eyes. "It appears you have done the same with me. I didn't realize Vulcans were so capable of pretending."

"I was not pretending. I was doing what my mate asked of me. Until this moment I believed I was making progress." Too many emotional upheavals, in the last several days, from both herself and Trip had chipped away at her barriers and her control.

Archer threw up his hands. "Just go find Trip. I'll be in the Mess Hall." His senior officers had been after him since their first mission to be more cautious. Send security and let Malcolm do the job he was trained for. Yet now that he was listening and took himself and them off the away team he was met with nothing but resistance.

---

She entered the observation deck to find Trip sitting with his back to her at the window. He was meditating so she sat in the chair next to him and focused on the quiet. The air was freezing and her breaths came hard. She opened her eyes to take in stars for as far as she could see. Floating next to her was Trip. Eyes closed, oblivious to her presence. The vapor from his breathe and his visible trembling were testament to just how cold it was.

"Trip why are you here?" Extreme climates took their toll on his mind and body yet he had chosen to float in space.

Eyes closed he continued to float silently. T'Pol reached inside their bond. Something felt oddly familiar here but it was not the familiarity of their bond she had come to cherish. She could find no intense emotion or turmoil emanating from him. It was calm and quiet. Slowly space receded and they were back in the observation deck.

She felt his hand take a hold of hers and his thumbs gently caress across her knuckles. "It's okay. I'm not going to lose it so you can stop worrying."

She heard the words, he truly believed them. All was calm and serene. She couldn't say why but this was all wrong. She had only once before felt this hollowness in the pit of her stomach but now it never went away. "The Captain wishes to speak to you about your emotional reaction to his orders."

"Not surprised. I shouldn't have just left like that. I know how he hates it when anybody openly disagrees with his command decisions." Trip could object and argue his objections but not in front of anyone else but T'Pol. As senior staff, Archer believed they needed to be aware of any issues that came up between the Captain and the crew. If either she or Trip were required to take command, they needed to have all pertinent facts to enable them to do the best job possible. He stood tugging at her hand. "Come on let's go find him. I'll apologize and then we can go see if we can find anything edible in the galley."

They found Archer in the Captain's Mess. T'Pol watched their interaction. The Captain accepted Trip's apology and his word that it would not happen again and that was that. Archer hadn't questioned why his friend had suddenly become rational and void of emotion. He accepted his word as if he truly trusted that Trip was sincere and would follow his orders without comment. These were the times between these two men when T'Pol found herself at a loss. Even when she hadn't known Trip as she did now she had sensed when something was wrong and Archer either didn't see it or hadn't taken the time to investigate it. Watching this scene before her made her reevaluate Trip's assertion that Archer was so wrapped up in the Xindi mission he couldn't afford to let his concern for Trip interfere. Archer was sitting there totally at ease, while her own anxiety level continued to rise.

A/N: There are one or maybe two lines (One of them I believe is an exact quote but I didn't look it up) in the Trip/T'Les dialogue that came from another Star Trek episode. I don't remember the name I only remember the character's involved. Any guesses?


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Distortion of One's Worldview and Relationships**

"Captain." Before Hoshi could continue Paxton appeared on the vid screen.

"I've just taken over the Verteron array on Mars. I can now fire on any ship or facility in the system." They all watched as a blast made a new crater on the Moon. "I have no intention of using this weapon again, provided that every single non-human in our system leaves immediately. I know there will be questions. We've been dealing with non-humans for almost a century."

Archer shouted at Sato, "Block that transmission."

"He's on every frequency. The signal's going system-wide." Hoshi shouted back.

Archer turned to the tactical station. "Then target his ship. Take out their communications."

The young ensign frantically tried to do what the Captain asked. "He's tied his warp reactor into the array. If we hit him, it'll take out half of Utopia Colony."

"Open a channel to Starfleet." Archer stared at the screen.

"Everything's jammed." T'Pol responded.

Paxton's voice rang out again. "The citizen soldiers of Terra Prime will act to protect you against the most dangerous enemies that humanity has ever faced."

They watched in horror as pictures of human/alien couples appeared on the screen. The most famous of the couplings being Trip and T'Pol. Several pictures of the pair flashed across the screen.

T'Pol froze next to Trip who was so intent on the screen he seemed to have forgotten he was not alone on the Bridge. There were pictures of them on Earth walking together or sitting across from one another sharing a meal. Those could be the innocent encounters of colleagues. The pictures that caught her attention were those taken aboard Enterprise. She and Trip walking down the corridor holding hands, in the Mess Hall involved in a discussion. And while there was no contact it was obvious the conversations between them was intimate, and then they were shown walking into their quarters together, on several occasions.

The entire bridge crew fixed their eyes on the viewscreen when Paxton reappeared. "Do not be deceived. These couples all have the potential to create an alien-human hybrid. My staff has proven that it is possible and if we allow ourselves to be submerged in an interstellar coalition our genetic heritage will be forever compromised." Paxton paused for a moment. "Terra Prime is dedicated to the protection of life in all of its diversity, so long as non-humans keep to their own worlds. So for the next twenty-four hours, we guarantee safe passage to all aliens leaving our solar system. But if any alien, if one single alien remains after the deadline, Terra Prime will defend the sovereignty of every single human being...," An image of Starfleet replaced Paxton's image. "...and we will begin by destroying the institution whose blind arrogance and moral cowardice have put us all at risk. Starfleet Command. We do not seek war, but if the aliens do not leave, and force us to fight, I make this solemn promise to all of the sons and daughters of Earth. Our future will be secure because humanity will prevail."

Trip stood playing the scene over and over in his head. Then the movie would change scenes to Paxton's lab and that deep, dark, foreboding feeling swept through to his core. Petri dishes and containers housing embryos. No life...just promises of life. They had been created to aid the doctors in perfecting an agent to prevent the natural, or unnatural he supposed, creation of a hybrid child. Those doctors had almost perfected a chemical sterilization technique that when administered to humans would prevent their DNA from combining with alien DNA. Paxton had been working on a method of mass distribution on Earth and also a way to administer it to those humans who were off-world and involved with an alien.

"Commander Tucker, what have you to say for yourself?" Admiral Gardner was annoyed at his lack of attention.

Trip breathed deeply, pushing the memories away before looking up at the panel. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry, but I'm not." There was nothing to be sorry about and his anger and frustration continued to seep into his words. "That I'll do whatever you say I need to do. When I won't." He placed his hands on the table and shifted his weight forward onto them and glared. "You do whatever it is you think you need to do in the name of discipline and we'll take it from there." Trip had no patience left for the panel before him. They were going to decide his and T'Pol's future and they'd have to decide what to do once they were through. The only thing he had managed to do was keep Captain Archer and the crew clear of any fallout.

"Trip, you're just going to sit here and let them decide your future." Archer was at a loss for what was going on with Trip lately. He showed up when they said to, listened, or so it appeared, then refused to say or do anything to plead their case. At times he was emotional and at others he was cold and closed off.

He quickly turned and lowered his voice. "What the hell do you want me to do? They know we're together. They've grilled every member of the crew so they must know everything." Malcolm and his team killed Paxton and several of his men, destroyed the facility and all the information they could find, and returned to Earth and arrested Masaro. They'd searched the Ensign's quarters and found more pictures and documentation on T'Pol and Trip, which had all been handed over to Starfleet. He'd signed on the dotted line and handed them control over his life when he joined Starfleet just as T'Pol had. "Paxton and his twisted plans may not have succeeded but he made sure the whole damn planet knows about us." The 'signals going system-wide' as Hoshi had put it. "Nobody's listening to us and I'm tired of everyone trying to make me do what they want me to do." Trip in fact was exhausted. It showed in his every movement and gesture. He'd seen the images Paxton had used and the new ones from their time at the motel, blasted over the airwaves so many times it was like walking around in a dream. Paxton's words, Starfleet, T'Pol, Jon, his parents, T'Les, Malcolm, and Hoshi, and the images wouldn't go away. The constant barrage of questions. Starfleet's insistence that they had to do what was best for Starfleet. T'Pol and Jon tugging at him trying to get him to do something. What it was he'd lost track of after the second day of being interrogated like he and T'Pol had committed some grievous crime.

The door opened to admit T'Pol, Ambassador Soval, and another Vulcan Trip did not recognize. Trip had been so preoccupied he hadn't felt T'Pol's nearness.

"Admiral Gardner I'd like to speak if that is acceptable." Trip recognized the tone in his voice as a sign that Ambassador Soval was in full diplomatic mode.

"Of course we'd be interested in the Vulcans perspective on this matter." Gardner was trying to come off as open and interested.

Sure that they were now close to announcing their decision Soval asked, "Can I ask if this panel has reached a decision?"

"Yes we have. We were awaiting the arrival of Commander T'Pol before we made our decision known." Gardner locked his stare on T'Pol awaiting some reaction from her, but she remained as stoic as she ever had.

"Before you announce that decision there are a couple of matters you may wish to consider. First, the Vulcan High Council has no official position on the relationship between the Commanders. Vulcans consider that to be a private matter. We will however pay particular attention to any actions taken against a Vulcan citizen and her chosen mate."

The Vulcans refused to discuss the relationship between the Commanders except to say that they were mates. As to what that meant by Vulcan or human standards Starfleet could only guess because no one was willing to explain.

"The Commanders have refused to answer our questions about their relationship citing Vulcan tradition. The High Council has not answered our inquiries into this matter yet here you are threatening us." The frustration at the Vulcans reluctance to assist them was evident on all the faces before them. No one associated with the Commanders had been cooperative. The crew would only say they were close friends and dating. Archer played deaf and dumb about the whole affair and the Commanders would only say they were a couple. Gardner wanted to bust them all out of Starfleet but had no authorization to do so.

"There has been no threat. As Vulcans these matters are not spoken of amongst ourselves therefore it should not be difficult to understand why we would not wish to discuss such private matters with those not of our culture." Vulcans had managed to keep their culture mysterious and hidden for centuries. Humans were not going to pressure them into revealing anything.

"Commander Tucker is human and he obviously knows of these private matters. They have implied that if we were to separate them they would be forced to resign yet they will offer no reasonable explanations as to why Starfleet should take this into consideration." Even Dr. Phlox had refused to answer any questions citing confidentiality, which only led the panel to believe they were correct and they were hiding something.

Giving up on this line of questions Gardner took another tact. The Vulcans had allowed humans access to the Consulate grounds. "You have seen fit to offer Commander Tucker your protection at the Consulate but you refuse to explain what the relationship between yourselves and Commander is and why he and his colleagues have been allowed to remain under your protection."

"Even without considering Commander Tucker's association with a Vulcan citizen he still holds a position of high esteem. His aid to our people makes his well-being of interest to all of Vulcan. By extension, he is entitled to any and all assistance the Consulate can offer him. When he requested our aid in obtaining lodging, that would afford them some measure of privacy, we saw it as only logical to offer the space we had available to him." Soval paused for a moment. "Do couples in your culture discuss private matters with each other? And are there not matters they would not wish to discuss in public, making it part of an official inquiry? The Commanders may not wish to be separated for many reasons but whatever those reasons are they must be respected as private if the Commanders wish this to be so."

"So the Vulcan High Council has no problem with the Commanders discussing these matters, it's the Commanders who wish to remain silent?" Gardner was losing patience with them all. The Vulcans said it was a private matter between the Commanders and the Commanders said it was a private cultural matter. And now the Vulcans were claiming that Commander Tucker was considered of special interest to the Vulcans regardless of his association with T'Pol.

Trip watched as Soval searched for the proper words to answer Gardner. It was like a merry-go-round. Up, down, round, and round with no beginning and no end. He'd had enough. "Look I haven't asked the Vulcans what I can and can't do or talk about so let's just drop it. This is between Commander T'Pol and myself so just leave the Ambassador and the High Council out of this." It was bad enough that he and T'Pol were here he didn't want to see the Vulcans dragged into this mess and risk the alliance between Vulcan and Earth.

Gardner wanted nothing more than to leave them out of this but they had just put themselves right in the middle. And when the Vulcans got involved it always became complicated. "Ambassador Soval is there anything else you have to offer?" Wanting to end this Gardner reached for the written statement he was supposed to read.

"The Ambassador may not but I seek permission to address you." The Vulcan Trip didn't recognize spoke up. And all he could think was great a new addition to the same circular arguments. One more voice to sound off in his head.

"And you are?" Gardner didn't recognize him either.

"I am Minister Sorak of the High Council. I am here on behalf of Vulcan to report the findings of this proceeding to the High Council." Sorak took on that very stoic, we are better than you attitude Vulcans were so good at.

"And why is the High Council so interested in this matter?" The Admiralty had been under the impression that T'Pol was still held in low esteem by the High Council and they had not taken into account any regard the Vulcans might have held for Tucker or at least not very seriously.

"It involves a Vulcan citizen and her chosen mate, who himself has earned the respect of the High Council. Any negative actions would be seen by the High Council as a sign that Starfleet no longer values our alliance." Sorak was to imply a threat but not be specific. The High Council wanted some room to negotiate, if need be.

"And exactly what are you implying?" The Vulcans weren't known for idle threats so Gardner wanted to know exactly what was at stake here.

The minister saw no ambiguity to his statement. "As I just stated the High Council would view any negative actions as direct proof of a lack of support for our alliance." A direct but non-specific threat.

An aide came into the room and whispered something to Gardner, who was massaging his temples. "It seems Captain Hernandez and her chief engineer are requesting that Commanders Tucker and T'Pol be allowed to assist them. Columbia is scheduled to leave space dock in the morning but they are experiencing some difficulties with the refit and require their expertise to correct the problem." Welcoming an excuse to adjourn quickly the Admiral jumped at the chance. "You are both dismissed."

T'Pol saw this as a way to get Trip's mind focused on something positive that he would enjoy. "We've both been relieved of duty. Security has orders to keep us off Enterprise. I assume that goes for Columbia as well." The logical course would be to reinstate them but T'Pol knew Starfleet did not usually operate from a place of logic.

"You are temporarily returned to duty." Gardner needed time to evaluate the implications of the Vulcans sudden involvement in the proceedings and to consult with his superiors.

---

T'Pol joined Trip in his meditation space. She was still very cold here but there was no visible mist from his breathing and he no longer outwardly shook from the cold. He was completely calm and comfortable here. The thoughts and emotions brought on by the panel were no longer plaguing him. She reached out to take his hand. The physical contact revealed no barriers were in place and his thoughts and emotions flowed freely between them. Why then did she continue to feel as if this was all wrong? Why did Trip continue to meditate in this space when alone? How had he mastered his body's reactions to the cold of this place?

"Trip are you alright?"

Opening his eyes. "Yes. I just needed to relax a minute before we see Becker. I'm really looking forward to having something to do." He needed something mechanical to work on. It always made things better. Having been confined to Starfleet Headquarters or the Vulcan Compound had made him feel claustrophobic, which was not a normal state for an engineer.

"You seem very calm." Panic was starting to be a constant companion during time spent with Trip in his newfound meditation space and T'Pol was finding it harder and harder to suppress.

"Yeah, I just needed to meditate a minute. It helps a lot." Emotions had been ripping through him. Wave after wave until he came to this place. Visualizing these waves until his mind slowly converted the waves into ripples and then the placid lake froze over preventing any further motion from occurring.

---

"Lt. Becker. Couldn't get along without me?" Trip attempted to keep things light.

"More like I haven't figured out what the hell these idiots did to my engines." Captain Hernandez had commented on how possessive Becker had become about his engines. She said it must come with the job because Tucker was just as adamant about Enterprises' engines being his.

"They do have a way of making a mess of things don't they?" Trip hadn't warned the engineer about these little trips back to Earth. There were certain things one needed to do in preparation for such visits and then certain procedures one had to perform once the crews left your ship. Major refits were being done quickly and the normal break in periods for any new technology was being ignored so problems were to be expected. It didn't help that the crews were not always up to speed on any changes that were being made in space so they tended to fall back on what they had been taught in their classes.

"I left them with a perfectly running warp drive and what do I get back but a worthless excuse for an engine that won't fire up." Becker had realigned the injectors, checked every EPS conduit, run every diagnostic he could think of and still had no idea where to start to find the problem.

Tucker slipped into engineer mode. Doing something mechanical, with his hands, would help him refocus his energy elsewhere. "Let's go over the refit schedule first. We need to see exactly what they did. I'll get Rostov and Hess to work with your crew. They know the routine by now so they'll be able to get the preliminary stuff done so we can get to the more serious repairs. You'll need to make a checklist so keep a padd handy so you'll know what to do next time. Can't guarantee you won't need help in the future but you'll want to do everything you can before you have to send out an SOS." Trip never minded collaboration but took pride in his ability to solve his own problems and he knew Becker shared this trait.

T'Pol followed next to the pair trying to determine how it was that there was no longer any discord in Trip's emotional state. A chill went through her as she stared into eyes that were normally the color of a beautiful blue ocean but were now becoming hard and icy.

---

Captain Archer watched as his senior officers returned from their mission. The swift, angry exit of his chief engineer said something was different. The man who had boarded that shuttle two days ago had been closed off and distant. No ups, no downs, just a flat plain of existence that no one had been able to traverse. He was not the man, with tears in his eyes, who just pushed his way by his Captain and out the door without saying a word.

Archer had stood by trying to determine how to get through to Trip for weeks now. Starfleet had finally relented in its attempts to reassign and discipline Trip and T'Pol for what they considered an 'illicit affair' when a large segment of the rest of the crew took the stand Trip and T'Pol themselves refused to and asked to be reassigned to Earth with their superior officers. The official announcement of their new duty was about to be made when Captain Archer received a stack of request for reassignment. At first, Starfleet stated they would not grant the requests and therefore the crew would be required to finish out their tours. After several closed-door meetings, it was decided there was no use forcing them to return to space against their will. It would defeat their purpose to have a ship full of disgruntled crewmen trying to make first contacts and form alliances with other species. By the time they had Columbia sorted out and on its way it became clear that Enterprise was not going to be leaving spacedock without Trip and T'Pol's assistance. This confirmed the realization that Starfleet needed both the Commanders expertise in space and not on Earth. Add to that the need to stay in the good graces of the Vulcans and Starfleet had enough incentive to drop the whole matter. Archer shredded the crew's request to keep them safe from any repercussions from Starfleet and the pair was sent back to Enterprise with no restrictions and the hope that by the time they returned to Earth the furor caused by Terra Prime and the knowledge of their relationship would no longer be an issue.

Archer was brought out of his thoughts when he caught the slight affirmative nod of T'Pol's head and turned to see Lt. Reed standing in the doorway. He'd known they were friends of sorts. Competitors. He'd thought it was a friendship based on Trip's friendship with Malcolm. Until now. T'Pol had earned the tactical officers loyalty and trust to the extent that he was guilty of conspiring with her behind Archer's back. And unless he was really way off the mark Trip hadn't known what they had been up to either. When the mission came up and T'Pol insisted he assign the two of them, he'd known something was up.

"Captain, assign the Commander and I to this away team. We'll need two days to collect the needed samples." T'Pol had tried everything to get through to Trip and when she found this planet with no inhabitants and a purpose for herself and Trip to go to the surface away from the ship she went to work on Archer.

"What am I missing here? You've never been so adamant about who I send on the away teams."

"Commander Tucker and I have some personal issues to work out and being alone on the surface would make this more likely to take place." She was being truthful but leaving out important details.

Trip's odd behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by Archer although he had refrained from commenting on it. He'd watched as the engineer's reactions became more and more restrained. What had started out as what he thought was Trip learning a bit of emotional control from T'Pol had become an exercise in how stoic and unemotional Trip could become.

---

The mission had ended over a week ago and after days of observing Archer was concerned. Trip was back for the most part. He was angry and his emotions were volatile but that was a man he and everyone else recognized and knew how to deal with. The problem was T'Pol. Trip worked with her, ate meals with her, was polite, and respectful of her, but that was it. There was no hand holding, no light in his eyes when she came into the room, no sign of any romantic involvement at all. Whatever T'Pol had done to get Trip out of that self-imposed emotional prison he'd been in, had cost her.

"Captain, what can I do for you?" T'Pol looked up from the padd she was studying.

"Just wanted to see if there is anything I can do to make things better between you and Trip."

"Things are fine between Trip and myself. He will join me shortly for lunch." He never missed a meal with T'Pol.

"Yes he will and then he'll get your meals and sit here and eat and even discuss work issues. But we both know something happened on your away mission that..." That what? Archer was at a loss for what to say.

"Do not worry about Trip or me and please do not attempt to interfere." Phlox and Malcolm both had warned her that there was a risk of his reacting this way and she had followed through on her plan anyway. She'd made her choice and she would live with the consequences.

---

T'Pol had gone over the plan several times trying to ensure there was no other way to proceed. When she found there may be no other choice she took the necessary steps to carry that plan forward and sought the assistance of the two people she trusted to help her.

"Doctor I require your assistance."

Phlox put down the feeding tray he had in his hands. "What can I do for you Commander?"

"Commander Tucker has been behaving unusually. He walks, talks, and pretends to joke around with everyone but his mood never changes. No matter what is said he agrees. He never gets angry, upset, or depressed. Nor does he get excited or exuberant." T'Pol found his emotional stability to be unnatural and extremely unsettling.

Knowing how he'd reacted to the Xindi attack and his sister's death Phlox was prepared for a similar reaction from the young man once they left Earth. "I had expected him to visit me once we were underway and when he didn't I assumed you and he were successful in using neuro-pressure and meditation to deal with recent events." Phlox had been concerned but as she pointed out Tucker was performing his duty and interacting with the crew as if all was right with his world.

"I have spoken to a priest who had begun to teach him a Vulcan technique to purge his emotions. My mother believed it would be useful for him after his parents visit. I interceded when I discovered this but may have been too late." T'Pol had not inquired as to what the priest had taught Trip thinking he had only been there for a short time and would have learned very little. What she hadn't counted on was Trip figuring out how to expand on what he had been shown on his own.

"You think he has somehow suppressed his emotions." Phlox had considered the possibility that he had buried his emotions again but had no proof to back it up. And even if he had the proof there was nothing he could have done with the information if Tucker refused to be cooperative.

"Yes I do and have tried to talk to him about this. I have also tried to use our bond to penetrate his defenses but he has locked his emotions away so tightly I cannot reach him." In the past his emotions were buried but she had felt them when she touched him during neuro-pressure. Now there were no emotions to feel.

"What are you asking me to do?" If what she said was true breaking through to him would be extremely difficult. He hadn't been successful reaching him or helping him when his sister died and if what T'Pol said was true it would be almost impossible to reach him now.

"I am not asking you to do anything." T'Pol was aware that the doctor could not intervene.

"Then what are you asking?" Phlox knew he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

"For information. I need to know what agents I might safely employ to lower his defenses." She handed him a padd containing the agents she had narrowed her search to.

"You know I cannot administer any agents without his consent?" Agents...she was talking about drugs but he supposed her word choice was intentional.

"I wish you to give me information only. If you cannot do that perhaps you could point me in the right direction." In other words, tell her who might help her.

There was no longer a smile on the doctor's face. Instead, he was deep in thought. How was it that the easy-going southerner, Trip Tucker, could again be indirectly responsible for bringing him up against a tough ethical question? First Sim now this. If he didn't give her information, she would go elsewhere. He had no doubt she would do her very best to ensure the Commanders safety but whomever she sought out would not have knowledge of Tucker's medical history or their connection. Only he had that and both facts would influence what drugs would be safe and the dosage needed. The doctor weighed both sides. Let her proceed on her own and risk the life of the Commander or give her the information she requested and blur that line a little more. First do no harm wasn't enough here. It didn't matter which choice he made the potential for harm to Tucker and T'Pol was an unknown.

Phlox began rationalizing aloud. "You are doing this to care for your mate no doubt. Mr. Tucker can be extremely stubborn and if he has deluded himself into believing that burying his emotions so deep he does not feel then he is jeopardizing his physical and mental health." And his career. T'Pol may not see that as a serious part of her consideration but the doctor understood that Commander Tucker would. The two had discussed that after Sim. Phlox took several deep breaths. He wanted more time but he knew he didn't have it and neither did T'Pol. The repairs were finally complete and they were scheduled to break orbit in the morning. Her timing was intentional he was sure.

Being on this mission was proving to be a test for Dr. Phlox. He had run into more ethical dilemmas in the short time he'd been on Enterprise than he'd run into the whole of his career before this. "I will provide you with information on the condition that you read all the material I give you thoroughly, promise to use the minimal dose possible, and you must give me your word you will ask someone to be on standby in case something goes wrong and you require medical assistance." He would be in Sickbay if that came about but he could do nothing to actively assist her.

"I agree and my intent is to continue to attempt to get through to him but if I cannot then I will lower his defenses just enough that I can use our bond to gain access to his mind. Thank you doctor." She still held out a faint hope that he would listen to reason.

"Don't thank me. If I wasn't convinced there's no other way and that you'd just find someone else to help I'd have refused." Allowing him to go on until he cracked under the pressure was unacceptable and dangerous. "I do not have any of these drugs on Enterprise and even if I did I could not give them to you."

T'Pol had already considered this. "I understand."

Phlox went to the computer, pulled up the information, then turned and walked away. Still questioning if he was doing the right thing.

T'Pol finished reading through the material and devised her plan. She immediately sought out Malcolm Reed. "Malcolm I require you assistance."

Her demeanor and words told him her request was of a personal nature. "Okay."

"First, I need your assurance that whether you agree to assist me or not you will not discuss anything we say with anyone else."

"I assume that means Trip as well."

"No one."

Bloody hell he thought. "I agree." T'Pol wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

She handed him a padd. "I need these drugs in the specified quantities as soon as you can get them." That meant today because they were leaving Earth.

Malcolm looked at the names of the drugs. One was a barbiturate he recognized from his time with Section 31. Like most of these drugs it was used to lower the inhibitions of prisoners and to encourage them to share their secrets with an interrogator. The information was unreliable because a strong willed individual could still exert enough self-control to be untruthful, but it usually gave them enough threads of truth to reinvigorate a stalled investigation. The other he had never heard of but could only guess would counteract the effects of the first one. "You do know what these drugs are for."

"Yes I do."

"T'Pol the only reason I can think of that you're coming to me is that Phlox won't help you and this has something to do with Trip."

"You are aware that there is something seriously wrong with him." The whole of the crew realized he was behaving abnormally even for him.

Malcolm had at first thought he'd mastered his emotions and was thankful he hadn't fallen apart like he had when his sister died but after watching him for several days it was clear something wasn't right. He'd watched as Captain Archer ordered Trip back to the ship, after they found the medical facility Paxton and his doctors had been using. Trip obeyed without protest. He had had tears running down his cheeks and you could see the darkness in his eyes but there was no rage or anger at what Paxton had been doing. Reed would have expected some display of emotions if it had only been anonymous DNA samples being used but some of them were his and T'Pol's. While Trip was an expert at hiding his deepest emotions he'd always been terrible at keeping his volatile ones from exploding.

Malcolm had spent days completing Hoshi's primer on Shinto and Buddhism so he'd be ready for her mother when he explained why he would not convert to either religion. Then they'd spent several days in Japan. When they returned Trip was even deeper into his denial. "I've only seen him for short periods since we got back but he's not acting like himself. We all assumed he was dealing with all this with you in private."

He functioned after Lizzie's death, sometimes barely, but his anger drove him. It took a physical and mental toll on him, which was hard to miss if you spent any time with him. But now was totally different. Almost spooky. "But it's like someone hit the mute button." His extremes were gone and what was left was someone who looked like Trip and talked like Trip but was emotionally monotone. This was not the man Malcolm Reed called friend.

"I need you to tell me you've considered all other possible options. That you understand what you're doing and that this is the only way." He'd have to trust her more than he'd ever trusted anyone before.

"All other options would require Trip's admission that he needs help and then he'd have to give me his cooperation. The longer he keeps these emotions suppressed the stronger the rebound effect will be when his mind and body can no longer tolerate the stress he is placing on them." If he continued, neuro-pressure would not be sufficient to alleviate his symptoms and he would most likely need to be hospitalized to receive treatment. As it was T'Pol could not be sure what the outcome would be but she had no doubt it would not be pleasant.

Malcolm was sure T'Pol wasn't searching for truth just a way to weaken Trip's resolve and she was doing what she knew to be the best thing for him. Malcolm had to trust her because whatever this thing was between her and Trip it meant she was in a better position to know what he needed. "I'll have it before we leave. Anything else you need just let me know."

"I will need someone to monitor things from Enterprise once the process has begun and to transport him back if he requires medical attention."

"When are you planning to carry out this plan and what exactly are you planning on telling the Captain and Phlox?"

She'd considered proceeding while on Earth but decided that it was better to wait until they were back on Enterprise. "Once we are in deep space and have located an appropriate planet I will find an explanation to appease the Captain. The doctor is aware of my plans and although his medical ethics prevent him from treating Trip without his consent, he was able to provide me with some information I requested."

"Well, that makes me feel a little bit better." If the doctor knew what she was planning, he at least must understand why she was doing this. "I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"Thank you." Now all she could do was try to reach Trip so this would all be unnecessary while she waited.

---

Archer sat watching her, so obviously deep in thought, perplexed. They were performing their duty admirably and T'Pol was right he had no right to intercede in their personal life. Trip was distant with T'Pol but still shared their quarters with her and Archer assumed he was still sharing a bed because he couldn't fathom Trip or T'Pol sleeping on the floor for more than a day or two. He wanted to be of some assistance but didn't know how.

"I am worried about you both. You can't go on like this indefinitely." Although it appeared they had both resigned themselves to doing just that?

"You know Trip is an honorable man Captain and Vulcans mate for life. Be thankful he is human and not Vulcan." T'Pol was. She would rather have him nearby feeling betrayed by her than not here at all. A Vulcan male would have insisted they go to a monastery and learn to master the bond to allow them to be assigned light years apart. Only to be together as required every seven years.

"You're right. If I know nothing else about him I know he'd never go back on his word." He may withhold his affection from T'Pol but he'd always be professional and work with her, fulfill his responsibilities as her mate, and make sure she was safe and cared for. None of that required his affection.

"It was to be expected that we would encounter difficult challenges together and this is just one of them." At least that was what T'Pol kept telling herself. If she just waited, he'd forgive her.

Archer could see the pain in her eyes. It was clear that whatever was going on T'Pol had known it was a possibility when she did whatever she had done to Trip. Archer had asked Malcolm what he knew but as their friend, he refused to say anything. He'd made it quite clear there were no circumstances, personally or professionally, where he would discuss the private affairs of Trip and T'Pol. He'd gone to Phlox, who Trip had been consulting since he returned to the ship, but the doctor-invoked confidentiality and refused to provide him with any information. Trip had spent two days secluded in Sickbay then returned to his quarters and to duty. He was reacting much as he had when Lizzie died, at first, but after a while he seemed to lighten up and slowly signs of the Trip they all knew returned with everyone but T'Pol.

Jonathon Archer was reexamining his previous beliefs about the relationship between Trip and T'Pol. He could now see that Trip's welfare was T'Pol's first and only priority and she'd do whatever was needed to ensure he was healthy and cared for and even though Trip was angry and felt betrayed he was committed to her and it would always be the same for him. If he wanted to be a friend he was going to have to behave like their other friends and remain loyal and support them without interfering.

---

For weeks now, T'Pol woke up wrapped around Trip. She never started out that way but some time during the night, she would cuddle up to him. If he woke up before her, he'd simply lay there awake, unmoving, and quiet until she got up.

This morning felt different. Trip's eyes were closed but he was awake. His arms were wrapped around her. His face was nuzzled into her neck. She stirred and he lightly kissed her neck and said 'good morning' before he got up to take his shower. A light ripple went through the bond, which had been present but very inactive. When he finished his shower he came out of the bathroom in a towel, holding his clothing. "I hope I left you enough hot water. You better get moving or you're going to be late for breakfast."

T'Pol looked at the chronometer. He was right she had overslept. "Thank you." She went to take her shower wondering what had changed since yesterday. Trip hadn't been rude or spoken unkindly to her but he hadn't spoken to her with morning pleasantries in weeks. When she came out, he was waiting for her. They walked to the Captain's mess together. About half way there, he reached for her hand and held it loosely until they reached the door. Once they were inside, he pulled out her chair and then took his own seat.

"Good morning." Archer noticed Trip's changed behavior.

"Morning." Trip answered back with a smile on his face. "Any big plans for the day?"

"Not really. T'Pol's team has been looking for something interesting for us to check out but nothing yet."

"We believe there may be a new star system forming 10 light years from our current position. Sensors are picking up several anomalies that point to such an occurrence." T'Pol's team had been tracking the field since yesterday and she had them putting together a report for the Captain. "I'll have a report for you later this morning."

"Great. Maybe we should just give Travis the coordinates and have him head that way." They'd been idle for days now and the crew needed something to do.

"Sounds good. I'll make sure the engines are in peak condition so you'll have all the power you might need for the sensors." He directed his comments to T'Pol but continually fidgeted as he spoke.

Watching his discomfort T'Pol didn't know how to respond. "Thank you. We have not had any problems with our equipment, but your attention is appreciated."

Archer couldn't believe the meal had gone so well. Lately if there was not ship's business to discuss the silence was uncomfortable, but not today. He did detect some tentativeness from Trip, but only when he spoke to T'Pol, as if he expected her to react badly to him.

---

Trip sat staring at the blank screen having hit the send button. The last letter to his parents had been sent. He'd completed the task of telling them everything he felt about them and their relationship to him and now he'd give them time to think about what he'd said before he went to see them. Tears ran down his face as he allowed the release of the last remnants of the emotions he'd kept pent up for years.

With that done his attention turned to figuring out how to repair the damage he'd done to his relationship with T'Pol. His anger at her made it easy to justify his behavior, at first, but over time her quietly remaining nearby while he continued to keep his emotional distance from her got harder. He'd have liked it much better if she had yelled or nagged or anything that would have allowed him to remain angry with her.

What could he say to her? How could he explain that once he let the anger go he'd needed to keep this from affecting her. When he lost Lizzie, they were not bonded, and he now knew, the neuro-pressure had affected T'Pol, and it would have been far worse this time. The emotions were far more intense and some of them had been buried deeply for far too long. He was so overwhelmed he feared his emotions would cripple T'Pol and the feedback would then intensify his already overcharged emotions until it destroyed them both.

He'd been so preoccupied he hadn't heard Malcolm enter his office. "Bloody hell am I ever going to see the real Trip Tucker again?" He smiled when Trip jumped at the realization that he was standing a couple of feet from him and he hadn't noticed him until then.

"What? I'm fine. I know I wasn't exactly myself for awhile but what's not real about me now?" Trip thought he'd made good progress at wrestling his demons and lightening up of late.

He'd noticed Trip's tentative actions for the last several days. "Yeah you're better but you're not fine." Malcolm watched as his friend drifted off. T'Pol refused his help and asked that he stay out of it but he wanted so much to grab hold of Trip and shake him until whatever was stuck in that brain of his came loose.

"I'm not sure what to do to fix things with T'Pol. It's not just a matter of saying I'm sorry and everything will be okay again." He wished it was that easy and if he thought it would be he'd have wined and dined her and they'd have engaged in an evening of makeup sex but she wasn't human and he'd have had to explain the concept first and they hadn't progressed to full on lose yourself totally in sensation and sex yet anyway so he didn't quite know how to proceed.

Malcolm didn't pretend to understand the complexities their connection created for them. He also knew that T'Pol's being Vulcan only added to the intricate nature of their relationship. "Well that's a good place to start."

"I know but there's more to it than that and I have to figure out how to explain it to T'Pol and that's difficult because I don't understand all of it myself."

"What are you afraid of? She's not mad at you or if she is she's doing a bang up job of pretending otherwise." T'Pol was capable of suppressing her emotions but she seemed more resigned to Trip's feeling betrayed and letting him work this out for himself. Seeing his reaction made Malcolm more grateful she hadn't let Trip know of his part in assisting her.

"Don't worry about me. T'Pol and I may not be on the best of terms right now but we're together and that's never going to change." Trip committed himself to her long ago and he would never let her go.

"So you were serious when you told me you weren't ever going to let anything mess things up between you?" Trip did seem to be doing just the opposite but Malcolm also had to admit that watching Trip and T'Pol navigate through their differences, over the years, had been what made him see that he could find happiness with someone if he was willing to work at it.

Trip smiled. If they didn't love each other, it would have been much simpler. He'd have broken things off and gone through the pain knowing it would eventually get better. They never said the words but they both were very aware of how they felt and those feelings were never going to go away for either of them.

"Nothing ever really can. I love her Mal and when we committed to each other that was it for both of us. Doesn't mean we aren't going to have rough patches like every other couple out there." Most couples didn't have their life flashed across every vid screen in the quadrant and mad scientists experimenting with their genetic material to further their twisted beliefs. But then Trip had known they would face some rather unique challenges. He would just have preferred they didn't all seem to present themselves at one time but the high profile nature of their lives would always make them easy targets or figureheads for some cause or other. It didn't help that the loss of Lizzie resurfaced when his parents showed up and that his feelings began to overwhelm him to the point that he could no longer bury them even before Terra Prime and then Starfleet ripped through their lives.

"What's the problem then? Just talk to her." What could be so bad that Trip couldn't apologize and talk things out with her? He could see that Trip was lost in thought again so he quietly slipped out.

---

"Aren't there rules about there always being at least two crewmembers on away missions?" Trip remembered T'Pol using this on Archer several times.

"Come on you're quoting rules to me? You were on your own when you tested the auto-pilot last time. In fact, you insisted on going alone. Said you didn't need anyone along."

He hadn't thought about Zho'kann and the Arkonians in months. He'd gone on that mission by himself because he wanted time alone without having to talk to anyone. Instead he'd had to fight to stay alive and learn a new language so he could communicate with an alien. "Yeah and I ended up crash landing and almost dying on the hottest moon in the whole system. Come on Captain just assign T'Pol to go with me. She can help program the coordinates for the touch and go landings." Trip wanted to test the landing and takeoff upgrades he'd added to the new auto-pilot program and he needed a few hours of uninterrupted time, on neutral ground, to talk with T'Pol. And hours in a shuttle together would be perfect.

Archer and Trip went to lunch in the Mess Hall and sat listening to Travis tell them about the week of making up with Gannett after they returned from Mars. T'Pol came in and Trip's mood changed and a smile broke out across his face and in his eyes. Archer could see he really wanted to spend some time alone with her, hopefully to fix whatever was wrong. Archer looked directly into Trip's eyes. "Do I have your word that if I agree to this mission that both my officers will come back speaking to one another?" Last time he'd let himself be talked into sending them on an away mission together it hadn't worked out well.

"We'll never let our personal stuff interfere with our duty if that's what you're worried about. And I'm not going to do anything to make things worse but I can't guarantee it's going to get any better." After all T'Pol might not listen to him.

"T'Pol doesn't appear to be angry with you just resigned to whatever fate you decide she deserves." Archer had to give her credit for being so patient with Trip. Personally, after watching what he was doing to T'Pol, he wanted to beat some sense into him.

There was that word again. Resigned. It sounded like a T'Pol word choice. She must have said something to Malcolm, Hoshi, and Jon. "Did she threaten everyone with bodily harm or something?" Malcolm, Hoshi, and the Captain all had been inordinately quiet about their relationship whereas before this last incident that had all freely offered their advice.

Archer laughed a little. "Why would you think she threatened us?"

"Things haven't exactly been right between her and I and it can't have gone unnoticed by you, Malcolm, and Hoshi. But until I brought it up with Mal not one of you has said a word to me about it." Archer had been very vocal about his opposition to their being bonded so should have seen this as an opportunity to strengthen his argument. But he hadn't asked a question or made a comment.

"T'Pol requested we remain neutral and she's right we shouldn't get in the middle. It's taken me a while but I finally understand that your personal business is just that, personal." What the hell. If he didn't let Trip have his way it might take him another few weeks to work up the nerve to try again. "We'll be close to the coordinates you specified in an hour so you'd better get going. I'll notify T'Pol that she's coming with you."

Maybe Jon had finally accepted that Trip knew what he was doing and that T'Pol was the best thing for him. "Thanks Captain." Trip bounded out the door towards engineering to get his duffle and tools.

A/N: Thanks IbeKoj. This story morphed into a reworking of some of the episodes of Enterprise along with the original theme of Double Vision. I'm actually enjoying this story more than my previous 2. It's nice to know someone else is enjoying it also. I write because I enjoy it but it is nice to know there are people out there reading it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Diplopia a Functional Problem Causing a Misalignment of Space**

"How long before we reach the atmosphere?" Trip could have done the calculation himself but T'Pol would already have the answer in her head.

"Sixty-six minutes and twenty-two seconds."

"You're never going to stop with the precision to the nth degree are you?" Trip hadn't said anything but he'd begun to lower the shields he'd erected to keep the most intense of his emotions out of their bond.

"I will endeavor to try in the future." T'Pol turned to face him. The bond was slowly becoming more active.

His chest hurt from the beating of his own heart. Both the physical and emotional sensations were back. She'd been sitting back there but it was only a buzzy kind of feeling not the active, vibrant charge he had grown accustomed to. "Is it okay if I put my shields down?"

"I never asked you to put them up but it was to be expected that you would become angry with me." T'Pol had a tight grip with both hands on her seat as the warmth returned and the uneasy fright she had experienced for weeks now began to recede.

"I know you didn't ask and I'm sorry I've been so distant but I couldn't let what I was feeling affect you this time. Phlox has been helping me get most of it under control, the right way, but I need your help with the rest of this so it doesn't affect the bond or your ability to control your emotions." Fear and pleading seeped out with his words.

"I do not understand." T'Pol could feel his regret at hurting her but also his determination to protect her.

"You were there for me when Lizzie died and the neuro-pressure helped but it cost you to have to deal with my emotions and with you having difficulty with your own control and intense feelings how could I ask you to do it again because I became an emotional wreck over things I refused to acknowledge and deal with." The guilt of harming T'Pol because he was such a coward would have been too much and if he talked to her about it she would have insisted he let her help.

"Are you not angry with me for forcing you to release your emotions?" Her betrayal was what she believed had caused him to shut her out.

"At first, I was furious but after I thought about it I didn't give you much choice. I should have known better than to try to deny how I felt. It became physically painful and I ran like I always have. When T'Les offered me what seemed like a better way to suppress the emotions again I thought why not. But Kolinahr isn't for humans and my trying to use it was not smart I know. Phlox informed me of all the possible health risks I opened myself up to." He stopped and took a breath. "I really don't want to rehash the last few weeks right now but if you're interested you can read the letters I've written to my parents. It's all there. All I'm going to say is I left things up to them. If they want a relationship with me then it's going to have to be on my terms and I'm not going to feel guilty anymore about choosing to explore new things and to spend my life with you. Except for my younger brother there are no more ghost in my past so now all I need is for you to forgive me." He'd finished the process he had unknowingly started months ago with Jon. He was learning to let go of what had started out as healthy anchors, but were now dead weight pulling him back into those dark places he no longer wished to inhabit.

T'Pol reached for his chin and pulled him close enough that his eyes lost focus and closed. "There is nothing to..." T'Pol saw his eyes open and his movement to look behind her to where his eyes first regained focus.

Trip shifted in his seat. All his attention turned out into space and the stars outside. They seemed to have multiplied. "Sorry, I just saw something and shouldn't our field of vision get smaller the closer we get to the planet? And why can't we see the planet any better yet?" Closer meant it should get bigger but it wasn't.

The readings on the panel were almost the same as they had been previously. That couldn't be right. According to the readout they'd been heading toward the planet for thirty-two minutes but the distance now showed them as slightly farther away. "We have not moved closer."

"That's impossible. We're moving forward." Trip could feel the movement as he engaged the long-range sensors to check for any potential problems. "Everything checks out. Nothing out there and no problems." Except he had that feeling in the pit of his stomach. Everything seemed okay but something felt wrong.

T'Pol re-checked the scans. "The position of the planet has changed and the number of stars has increased." She found the previous calculations and compared them to the current ones. Their trajectory was different.

"How is that possible? I'm going to contact Enterprise and have Hoshi run scans for us." Trip reached for the comm. "Shuttlepod One to Enterprise."

No response so he tried again. "Enterprise please respond."

"Enterprise is no longer on the long range sensors." T'Pol re-ran the scan.

"Enterprise please respond." There was no response. "Any signs of weapons fire or debris on long-range sensors?" If they weren't showing up on the sensors it was unlikely they would respond. The alarm sounded to notify them they were again entering the atmosphere of the planet. Immediately followed by the proximity alarm.

"There are ships approaching from the planet." T'Pol informed Trip as a criss-cross of beams began to enclose them from the ships surrounding them.

"They're Tholian ships." This was not a good sign as every encounter with the Tholians and Enterprise had been less than friendly.

"There's another ship coming from the other side of the planet." Just then it began firing on the Tholians. The Tholians began to retreat and one after the other disappeared from the sensors.

Trip took in the sensor readings. "It's not Enterprise but it has a Starfleet warp signature." He moved to see if he could eyeball the ship out the starboard viewer. "Son-of-a-bitch. It looks like Lexington but it's not. Its markings say NCC-1764..." He refocused to read the rest. "U.S.S. Defiant." Same warp coils and deflectors as the Lexington had.

"Starfleet doesn't have a starship with that designation. Nor does Starfleet have a ship capable of destroying the Tholian ships." T'Pol continued to read through the sensor data.

"It looks like a Constitution class starship just like Lexington. So which one of us is in the wrong time zone?" Lexington was from another universe so it was only logical to assume this ship was also from another universe. "Remind me to tell the Captain that I'm never testing the auto-pilot on this damn shuttle again." Trip was 0 for 2 on successful missions doing just that. Travis would certainly be happy to know there was no longer any risk of his being replaced.

"It appears we are no longer in our universe." There were so many distortions T'Pol was unable to recalibrate the sensors to get accurate readings. "They have us on their sensors."

Just then they felt the shuttle jerk sideways. "We're caught in a tractor beam. They're pulling us into their landing bay." The engines had revved up to full power. They didn't have enough power to escape. Trip disengaged the engines to keep them from burning up.

---

The door lifted up and Trip stepped out first. When T'Pol stepped out with his assistance, he moved his body to stand in front of her. Pain, fear, and despair all swooped in to fill Trip with a cold, darkness that pulled him down with a heaviness that was not just emotional but physical. His first thought was that the grav plating must be set too high, but of course his boots lifted from the floor with the same ease as they had on Enterprise.

"Hands in the air." Major Reed ordered the pair while pointing his phase rifle at them.

"You wouldn't be Lt. Malcolm Reed by chance would it?" Trip couldn't believe his eyes. Same Malcolm, except for the MACO uniform and well then his noticed the rank.

"Tucker? It can't be. There can't be two of you." Bloody hell. One Tucker was enough for any man to tolerate. "T'Pol can't say I like you with the short hair and what is that you're wearing?" Malcolm liked long hair on women and the uniforms the women wore were much appreciated by all the men on board.

Just then Captain Archer and Commander T'Pol entered the bay. "What's taking so long Reed? Can't take that long to throw whoever it is in the brig."

T'Pol stepped forward. Both she and Trip had their gazes locked on the Captain and his First Officer. Their hands automatically went up to greet the Vulcan with the ta'al. Noting the shocked reactions neither said anything and quickly put their hands down.

Archer held himself very stiff and uptight. His hair was spiky and too dark. The uniform looked all wrong. Trip thought the chartreuse uniform top was awful on him but his chest stuck out saying he took pride in the way he looked. Then again, maybe it was all about projecting aggression and being an alpha male.

Commander T'Pol was another matter all together. He knew his T'Pol so intimately that seeing the bare, shapely midriff of this other T'Pol was no surprise but he found he didn't like it. It made her seem cheap and the long hair didn't fit either. His T'Pol had softened her style somewhat from the straight bowl cut she had when she came aboard Enterprise, but the short cut was part of her identity as a Vulcan and suited her much better.

His T'Pol. Why did he keep thinking of her as his T'Pol? She's interested in me. Where the hell did that come from? How could I know that? My face. She's staring at my face. Trip closed his eyes and concentrated on blocking out the thoughts.

Disoriented, dizzy, and not liking someone foreign being in his mind made his legs wobble slightly.

T'Pol moved closer, taking his arm, and quietly inquired, "Trip are you okay?" His shields were up in full force but T'Pol could see he was suffering some type of distress.

His eyes lifted to locate her. "She's in my head, somehow. I'm just working on putting up stronger shields."

Another intruder made their presence known. This one felt familiar. "Be careful I think there may be another me here and he might be able to get inside your head." His T'Pol could only get inside his head like this when they were touching or when they both went to their shared space and this woman had managed to get inside his head from across the room. And now there was this other him poking around.

"I am your T'Pol so do not feel guilty thinking of me in this way." She still felt his regret at thinking of her like that.

"So you can read my thoughts now too?" The whole idea of someone knowing his thoughts wasn't new but their bond had not progressed that far yet. Or it hadn't until now. And somehow he was very aware that this other T'Pol was trying to probe his mind.

"I can when we are close and you are screaming your thoughts so loudly. We belong to each other and you are mine so why would I not find it acceptable for you to see me the same way." T'Pol saw the rifle butt coming down and stepped forward to stop it from connecting with Trip's head.

When her arm made contact with his weapon Reed reacted immediately and slapped her hard knocking her back against the shuttlepod. Then turned his rifle on Trip who made a move in his direction.

Trip changed his mind and went to T'Pol's side. He grabbed her hand and pulled her upright. She was shaking inside. Emotions she was working hard to suppress began to peek through. Trip tried to send her his support to help bolster her weakened barriers. Once she was standing again he let go of her hand and turned to their captures.

"Stand up and stop talking." Reed bellowed. Being challenged did not sit well with him and his eyes burned with rage.

Trip straightened up and refusing to be intimated ignored him. "I believe someone mentioned the brig." He wanted to get himself and T'Pol somewhere more isolated until they could determine what exactly was going on here.

Archer studied this new Tucker intrigued at his bravado. "Change of plans. Take them to my Ready Room and find Tucker. He'll want to meet his other self." Archer barked the order at Reed. Two Tuckers could be a good thing. They were on a ship that required a much larger crew complement than they had even after having Avenger dock with them and taking on their crew. He needed to find out if these new versions of Tucker and the Vulcan were as talented as his current versions. Two chief engineers and this new T'Pol working together in Engineering could be just the thing he needed to ensure complete control of his newly acquired Empire.

---

Upon entering the Ready Room T'Pol was greeted by the MACO Sgt. Travis Mayweather. He motioned for her to stand next to him then motioned for Trip to stand next to T'Pol.

Archer entered followed by Commander T'Pol. Major Reed soon entered pushing Commander Tucker in front of him. "Tucker as you requested, sir."

"Ah, Commander Tucker I'd like you to meet Tucker and T'Pol." Archer pointedly stared at the pair. "As forced labor you hold no rank here so we'll dispense with any formalities."

"Call me Trip then." Two Tuckers would be confusing.

Tucker's jaw dropped. "How? Where the hell did they come from?"

"Exactly Commander. That's what we need you all to work out. Their shuttlepod somehow ended up in the wrong universe much like this ship. The Tholians were zipping them up in one of those webs of theirs when we found them. We need to know if the Tholians have created a bunch of holes into other universes out here." If they had Archer wanted to know so he could take advantage of any technology they might be able to pull from another time and he also wanted to ensure that the Tholians didn't find a way to neutralize Defiant. Having weapons that were powerful enough to destroy a Tholian ship or any other ships Earth might have put Archer at an advantage he did not want to lose.

"Are you from the same place as this ship?" Tucker asked. That would mean they could help him learn the systems quicker. He needed to learn them because that ensured he was valuable to whomever was in charge this week. Until they found another engineer that was as gifted as he was his life was protected. They'd torture him or beat him if they found reason to distrust him but whatever they did to him would never cause permanent damage because he was needed to keep the ship running.

"I've seen a ship like it before." He quickly sought out T'Pol in his mind and broadcast his thoughts that he may have made a mistake. Letting them know he had contact with other people from different timelines might not be a wise idea.

T'Pol picked up on his concern and through her thoughts and her eyes let him know she agreed that he should be cautious.

Tucker had read most of the engineering database and had begun to read the historical one as well. Archer had ordered all of the data deleted but Commander T'Pol had made a copy of it before Hoshi had followed through. He found it when he went through her quarters looking for some clue as to how he could stop her from manipulating him again. He had avoided her since she informed him of how she had gotten him to sabotage the cloaking device for her but he was so drawn to her that it was proving difficult to stay away and he needed to find a way to protect his mind from her. It was better to have a real person to help him decipher the new technology and perhaps he might also get some information about Vulcans while he was at it.

"There are other ships like Defiant out there?" Archer was concerned at that thought.

Trip said only enough to attempt to ease his fears. "Not that we know of but if the Tholians are operating across timelines anything's possible I guess."

"So you know about the Tholians?" Archer was curious.

T'Pol answered. "The Tholians are known in our timeline but they are xenophobic and very secretive. They also possess far superior technology than most of the species in our time and are avoided by most everyone they come into contact with. It appears that may be because they have appropriated technology from other universes." Tholians exact place in time had never been established but their activities here indicated they were capable of time travel.

"Commander Tucker I am assigning these two to your department. Major Reed will assign guards for them at all times but they will be under your command and you will be held responsible for any infractions to the rules they are found guilty of." Archer glared at Tucker. He was a talented engineer and the time he'd spent with Reed and Phlox in their agony booth convinced Archer he'd known nothing about who sabotaged the cloaking device but he still didn't know if he could trust him.

"Understood." Tucker couldn't wait to start picking their brains for any knowledge they might have that could assist him. "Where are they to sleep?" His anxiousness at Archer's response was evident.

"The brig for now. You can assign them quarters after their shift tomorrow." Archer caught the disappointment on Reed's face. He was sure the sick bastard wanted to keep them in the brig as his own private test subjects for some demented method of eliciting information. But Archer could see no point in questioning them. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Fine. I'll take them to the brig but first they could probably use a trip to the Mess. Can't expect them to work if they don't keep up their strength." Tucker wanted Archer to be aware he needed them healthy if they were to be of any use to them.

---

Trip sat bolt upright on the bunk. Sleepily he reached for T'Pol but she wasn't there. His mind began searching for her in a panic and once he connected he found her waiting in their shared space. He took some cleansing breaths like she'd taught him and tried to let the dream go but he couldn't.

He laid back down. "That hasn't happened in a while and this wasn't just you and me it was them." The alternate version of himself was dreaming about T'Pol. Not just the T'Pol from his own time but Trip's T'Pol. It had taken some time for Trip to sort that out but then he saw that the hair kept changing.

"I haven't dreamt like that in months and I'm not even attracted to her so how did they get inside my head like that?" His arousal was obvious so he'd concentrated on breathing his way through it and hoped that meditation would solve the problem.

"Turn around and sit down." T'Pol told him as she reached to find the appropriate nodes on his sides.

Trip complied without thinking but thought better of it after he became more aware. "What are you going to do?" He suspected what her intent was.

"I am going to alleviate your stress and then we will review how you block out unwanted telepathic contact."

"That's all well and good but it does not help when I'm dreaming. And we need to practice coming here so I can do it whenever we need to without me getting a headache." He was out of practice and they were going to need to communicate without anyone else hearing them.

"You have not forgotten what to do and since when did you start being embarrassed with me?"

"T'Pol we haven't exactly been close lately and you're acting like everything's fine between us. I know you have emotions you haven't been able to suppress and you've been keeping that from me and being in this depressing place isn't helping either one of us." He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands.

"You are my mate, you always will be, and that's all that is important. This situation calls for us to set everything else aside and take care of each other. Close your eyes and breathe in for two counts then hold it until you feel the release of your tension." T'Pol could keep her emotions at bay if it meant keeping herself and Trip safe.

Trip did as he was instructed out of necessity. He drifted inside his mind letting T'Pol manipulate the nodes so this tension wouldn't continue to plague him. "You know how much I hate doing this." It was effective to relieve sexual tension this way and he supposed most guys would find it enjoyable but he preferred the real thing even if that meant it was limited to mutually satisfying each other and not full on sex. He'd gone along with T'Pol's need to experience the sensations and emotions while here to ease the transition to the real world but it felt incomplete somehow. It just wasn't the same.

To T'Pol it was necessary and she refused to discuss it. She joined him inside the bond. "Our counterparts appear to be bonded in some way but I do not think this Tucker knows anything about it. He only seems to experience it through his dreams. His T'Pol may or may not know of our connection and may be using it to reach you. You must be careful. We do not know how strong her abilities are and the purpose of her manipulating you. She may not be able to discern the extent of our bond or its strength."

Trip's eyes flew open for the second time. "Please tell me she can't influence me without my knowing it. And why didn't I know you were in my mind?"

"You did but you are so used to me being there it doesn't alarm you. I find it gratifying that you trust me so much that you accept my presence without question." She also found the fact that he knew the difference between her presence and this alien T'Pol very satisfying.

Trip felt that thought as he felt the shiver run through him. "She's not you, she's dark and slightly cold. All these people are. I look at Captain Archer and see what could have happened to our Captain if we'd spent much more time in the expanse. He'd tapped into that dark side of himself and given enough time I could see him becoming very much like this Archer." Trip wasn't surprised by this Archer as much as he had been by this Malcolm Reed. He'd known Malcolm to be rough around the edges and driven but never sadistic like the version of the man who occupied this universe. The Hoshi he'd observed on the Bridge was so far removed from the person he knew he couldn't even comprehend how she had evolved into the sexual predator he'd meet here. It took only a few minutes for him to see who and what she was. She was obviously attached to the Captain but her actions had been predatory toward all the males she encountered. Trip would need to see if he could discern what her agenda was. Any woman who worked that hard most certainly had one.

"We must stay very alert. Now we must leave here and get some sleep." T'Pol slowly pulled them both back to the brig.

"I need to touch you." He swung around and jumped down to the floor and sat on her bunk, taking hold of her hand. "This is acceptable here isn't it?" He wanted to talk to her about touching in public but not now.

She was sure Reed was watching them from some place nearby. It was almost as if she could feel his eyes piercing through her skin. She stood and whispered. "We need to make some compromises. We cannot share a bed in here but if one of us is willing to sleep on the floor we can maintain contact by holding hands." T'Pol removed the mattress from the upper bunk and placed it on the floor next to the lower bunk.

"I'll take the floor." Trip started to add because he was the one that needed the physical contact but stopped when the wave of emotion swept over him. T'Pol needed him as much as he needed her.

---

"This Trip and T'Pol seem very attached." This made Archer consider just how close his Tucker was to his Vulcan first officer. He'd seen her cozy up to the engineer on several occasions but he'd always assumed it was only to get him to comply with her orders not because of any romantic attachment.

"Keeping them separated may be wise." Reed suggested as his gaze remained on the screen. He wouldn't mind spending some time with this T'Pol. From what he'd seen she was much more willing to please a human male than their own Vulcan was.

"We'll see. Now that I know they're from the same time period as the Enterprise in the database it should prove useful to have them both in engineering." He could keep his first officer away from Tucker and still have T'Pol's expertise being utilized in learning what they needed to know about running this ship. And it couldn't hurt to have two engineers that were known for thinking outside the box and being innovative when it came to getting the most out of their warp engines and weapons systems. He'd long ago given up on expecting Reed to provide any kind of defensive contributions that didn't involve inflicting pain on his victims. He and Phlox had embarked on recreating their little agony booth on Defiant after the original one was destroyed on Enterprise.

"As you wish, but I insist we keep them under guard." Reed would not risk having two Tuckers freely roaming about. One was causing him trouble enough.

"Keep an eye on them but make no mistake, if any harm comes to either one of them I will hold you personally responsible. Is that clear?" Archer snarled at Reed. The whole crew knew of Reed's intense dislike of Tucker and he would most likely see this additional Tucker as another threat to his position. He'd also noticed the Major's interest in the Vulcan and that appeared to have translated into an instant attraction to this alternate T'Pol who was involved with this new Tucker.

---

His hand went up to greet Ambassador Soval. "Live, long and prosper,..." Trip suddenly remembered where he was and took in his uniform and the lack of hardware on it."...Crewman Soval."

"It's not safe to use that greeting here. You must have very good relations with the Vulcans of your world if you are so at ease with using the ta'al." Soval tried to get a read on this human before him.

"We've come to an understanding over the years." He refrained from telling him that Soval was an Ambassador in his universe. "Your counterpart and I aren't exactly best friends but we seem to be working on it. Perhaps I should just use a nod like I do with the Vulcans I know if greeting with the ta'al is dangerous here. Do any of them besides Hoshi speak Vulcan?" If not Trip and T'Pol could speak without being understood by those around them.

"Myself, Ensign Sato, and Commander T'Pol are the only ones who speak Vulcan on this crew. The other Vulcans were raised in detention camps on Earth and have not learned their native tongue. Am I too understand you speak Vulcan?" Soval determined he needed to get to know this Trip and T'Pol better.

Trip spoke in Vulcan. "Yes I do. Might be nice to get a little practice in while I'm here or is that forbidden too?" He would most likely need to be watchful of who was nearby when he chose to use Vulcan.

"Be careful. Never speak in front of Major Reed, Captain Archer, or Ensign Sato. Commander T'Pol will be suspicious of you but will not inform those who would find it objectionable."

"Thanks. I'll be careful." Trip turned his attention inward having felt that T'Pol was finished changing and on her way. "Have to go. T'Pol is expecting me to meet her for breakfast."

Soval saw his internalizing gesture and quietly asked, "Are you and T'Pol bondmates?"

"I thought all Vulcans were aware that etiquette requires that no Vulcan ask another about such private matters. I can't imagine such an important edict of your culture has been forgotten even in this universe." Trip had answered his question without answering his question and almost sounded like a Vulcan. If he was anything like the Soval he knew he'd understand but if they were being monitored, as T'Pol had warned, he did not want to give whomever it was any definitive answers about anything to do with he and T'Pol if he could avoid it. But his gut said he could trust this Soval. Maybe not as much as their own version of Soval but he couldn't see Vulcans in any universe not being secretive about a subject as sensitive as bondmates.

"You are correct. It is sometimes hard to remember what it means to be a Vulcan in this place. I shall endeavor to remember from this point on. Enjoy your breakfast." Soval nodded to Trip and went on his way as did Trip. He would have felt offended being reprimanded about proper Vulcan etiquette by a human but unless he misinterpreted the exchange this young man had used it to inform him he was indeed bonded to the Vulcan T'Pol and was very well versed in what Vulcans considered intimate in their culture and would observe those rules.

Having finally arrived Trip surveyed the selection of breakfast foods searching for something T'Pol could eat. There were some sad looking vegetables thrown in middle of a heap of eggs and what he could only guess was something akin to overcooked oatmeal or porridge in a bowl with some type of sticky, syrupy substance poured over it. And every meat product one could possibly imagine for breakfast and a few he would never have deemed breakfast food until today.

He moved behind the table into the galley in search of what ever passed for a cook on this ship and found him dumping a bowlful of meat products into a large pan. "Good Morning. I'm Trip and you are?"

The ensign took the hand Trip offered. "Morning. I'm Ensign Robbins. Can I help you?" Word of another Tucker on board had spread quickly but to actually see him was still a shock.

Trip wasn't sure how sensitive this man might be about someone not being satisfied with his buffet. "Would it be okay if I were to fix a couple of breakfast plates myself?"

"I have no problem with it. No one has ever asked before. Anything in particular you're looking for? I'm not really a cook. They stuck me in here when they took over the ship and I'm doing the best I can." The chef on Enterprise hadn't made it to an escape pod and the one on Avenger had been executed when he got caught up in the plot to assassinate Admiral Black. Robbins had been a galley crewman that served the officers before he was pressed into his current position.

The man was apologizing for his lack of cooking ability. "I don't suppose you have any Vulcan vegetables in here somewhere?" Trip doubted they had any foods that weren't human as they didn't seem to cater to the aliens aboard this ship or even in this universe. Maybe he shouldn't have said it was for a Vulcan but the cook didn't seem upset.

"No, but we do have a wide selection of vegetables from Earth. This ship has a huge hydroponic garden on the deck below us. What do you need?" Robbins had been in awe of the size of the garden but shouldn't have been surprised as this ship originally had a crew of over four hundred.

It didn't seem to matter that he wasn't a member of this crew and therefore not a threat, the young man seemed intimidated by his presence. "Anything that's fresh and vegetarian would be fine. Eliminating meat from your diet is healthy so I try not to eat it more than once or twice a week. Pasta works too, but that would take too long this morning and it doesn't sound that appetizing for breakfast." Although in days past Trip had eaten cold, left-over spaghetti or pasta for breakfast when he was being lazy or was in a hurry.

"I'll try to make at least one dish for you each meal. It'll make this job more interesting learning new recipes for someone who cares what they eat, so I'll break out a few cookbooks and see what I can find for vegetarians." The ensign wasn't stupid he knew the Vulcan female was the vegetarian. That was the something that might make this new assignment bearable. The rest of the crew had long ago learned to never complain and ate whatever was prepared for them. He brought Trip a selection of fresh vegetables and they proceeded to cut and clean them.

"Thanks I'd really appreciate it. If they give you any trouble just tell them it's for me and if there's anything you need from me just ask. If I get time maybe I can help you figure out the replicator." On Lexington it had taken a couple of lessons to use the technology. Trip didn't want anyone thinking the cook was going out of his way for a Vulcan. It was good to see that not all the humans felt the same hatred and distrust for other species that those in charge seemed to.

"No problem." The young man put the remaining vegetables back into the stasis unit.

"What are you doing in here?" Tucker yelled to Trip.

"Trying to get a decent breakfast. That selection out there is great if you want to end up in a torpedo tube before you hit middle age." He wasn't lying, he had modified his diet to live longer.

Tucker looked over the two plates. He knew who that 'decent breakfast' was for and it had nothing to do with clogging up arteries. This Tucker was as big a fool as he was. "You really don't know how to be inconspicuous do you? You're here one day and already risking getting yourself in trouble for a Vulcan. You better be on time because Archer or Reed won't care why you were late and if you said it was because you were preparing breakfast they'd punish both you and the cook here." And if they found out it was to fix breakfast for a Vulcan he might just be shot on the spot. Then they'd come looking for Tucker who would be held responsible for his actions.

Trip grabbed the plates and headed out to find T'Pol. She was sitting at a table with a cup of tea for herself and coffee for him. "Eat fast we're expected in Engineering in 15 minutes or so."

"I could have gone without breakfast." She tugged at the unfamiliar uniform she had put on. She wore the pants of the uniforms here but had utilized the mini dress uniform as her top. It was uncomfortable but she found it preferable to being half dressed.

Trip smiled at her unique way of maintaining what she considered professional standards. "No way. Besides, it gave me a chance to talk to the cook. He's agreed to make something for you to eat at every meal. May not be what we're used to but anything would be better than what's there." Trip motioned towards the table. He hated raw vegetables but he ate them rather than risk drawing attention to the fact that T'Pol wasn't eating from the buffet.

---

"Biggs get these two a radiation monitor." Tucker ordered the ensign.

"Why do we need a radiation monitor? This ship should have enough protection around the warp core. I've worked on Enterprise for years and I'm not radioactive?" If these engineers were used to working in a toxic environment maybe they had gotten into some sloppy habits.

"Engineering departments on our ships are not known for their safety standards where their personnel are concerned. All the Empire cares about is being the strongest and winning this damn war and the hell with the crew." Tucker was sure he would light up like a Christmas tree if they were to run any radiation checks on him.

"If you use the proper procedures there shouldn't be a problem. Have you found any areas with unsafe levels of delta rays?" Trip couldn't risk exposing himself as Phlox had warned him after his exposure on the Romulan drone and he didn't want T'Pol near radiation if it was present. Her system couldn't stand any more damage from chemical assaults either.

He pointed to the various readouts. "None. If we start using the proper procedures that should keep things as safe as possible. Too bad they can't correct the damage we've all already suffered." Tucker's hand went to his scarred face.

T'Pol looked to Trip. "There are treatments for radiation poisoning Commander Tucker. Your Dr. Phlox must be aware of them." She looked at his face. "Although they may no longer be able to remove all the scarring there is much they can do to improve your appearance."

"Our Dr. Phlox is only interested in patching the injured together just enough to keep them functioning or finding ways to make us suffer the most while leaving the least amount of serious damage." Tucker practically snarled at the thought of their so-called doctor. "I'd suggest avoiding him unless it's absolutely a matter of life or death." Tucker hadn't considered asking about surgery to improve the look of his face because he did not trust Phlox. He had fallen under Reed's spell and they wanted nothing more than to see Tucker dead.

---

Trip and Tucker were reading through the engineering specs for the warp drive when Trip suddenly felt a jolt coming through the bond and turned to meet the eyes of a MACO he recognized. Amanda Cole. The MACOs on his Enterprise had left when they returned to Earth after the Xindi but evidently they were the security force in this universe. "Please tell me there hasn't been anything between you and any of the MACOs."

Tucker turned to find T'Pol. She was no longer reading the manuals. Her eyes were burning holes through Cole. "She seems a bit jealous there. Some problem with Corporal Cole?"

"Nothing ever happened but Amanda was interested and I stupidly kind of encouraged her for a short time." Judging from the feelings T'Pol was fighting it would be best to avoid any potential personal problems by avoiding this Amanda Cole. If he ignored Cole then maybe T'Pol would stop being jealous but then there was the problem of the way Cole was looking at him.

Trip heard something before he turned to see Reed's fist planted in the Corporal's stomach. "You should never allow an alien to challenge you. It's disrespectful." He bellowed at Cole as he moved towards T'Pol.

Commander Tucker reached out in response to the words pounding in his brain. A voice commanding him. "Stop him. Stop him now!"

Trip felt Tucker's restraining hand on the back of his uniform. The warmth against Trip's neck said he was very close. "Don't interfere it will only make it worse. He won't go against Archer's orders and do any serious damage."

Trip's insides became tight. T'Pol looked right at him, almost locking him in place with her stare, willing him to stay put. He had no choice but to stand there watching as Reed struck several blows to T'Pol's torso.

Reed cozied up next to T'Pol's ear and hissed. "That's twice. You will never challenge a human again. You would do well to remember your place on this ship." Reed's menacing tone was almost a whisper.

Tucker felt Trip flinch, watched his fists rapidly open and close while his abdominal muscles tightened with every blow almost as if he was the one being punched. He wanted to stop the Major himself. He had to stop watching. The blows were intense enough that he almost thought he could feel the pain at the point of impact himself. "He likes her. It's a good thing he doesn't know anything about Vulcan mating." Tucker tightened his grip digging the fingers of his other hand into his shoulder forcing Trip backwards until he collided with his own chest.

Trip stopped pulling away. The thought that Reed was interested in T'Pol for other than playing his sadistic games to inflict pain and suffering was chilling and unthinkable. Tucker was right. If he gave him reason he'd separate them and T'Pol would be at his mercy. "He sure has a twisted way of showing it." He tightened his grip on the sensations raging through him and asked through clenched teeth. "Exactly what do you know about Vulcans mating habits?" The searing pain in her abdomen was ripping through the bond making it all the more difficult for him to do nothing to further to antagonize Reed. Concentrating on Tucker's response helped.

"Let's just say a couple of years ago a certain Vulcan needed a favor during a very unrestrained time in her life." Tucker felt no betrayal of his promise telling this human of his time with the Vulcan Commander, as he was obviously involved with his Vulcan and would already be aware of their unusual sexual behavior.

"Discussing intimate Vulcan rituals here is not a good idea. We should find someplace private to discuss this after our shift ends." Trip was trying to distract himself while sending T'Pol comfort and strength as she continued to attempt to suppress the pain and any outward signs of the discomfort in her body.

Reed exited with a look of satisfaction and Trip rushed to assist T'Pol while considering what the significance of Tucker assisting Commander T'Pol during her Pon Farr was. If Trip understood correctly, and he was sure of what T'Pol had told him, there was no way to avoid a bond forming during that time, unless one had already formed with another. And they should be fully bonded after two years. However, if that were true why did Tucker seem to be unaware of any connection to the Vulcan?

---

Captain Archer had Lt. Reed going over the scans again. The shuttlepod had been heading to the planet to do the touch and go landings to tweak the auto-pilot program. Trip had finally gotten the thing rebuilt and installed in the shuttlepod again. The last one had been destroyed when he got shot down by the Arkonian pilot and crash landed on that moon.

"One minute they were there and the next they were gone, sir." Reed had been over the sensor readings several times and there was no sign of the shuttlepod.

There was no debris and if they had been attacked, Enterprise was close enough that it would have been detected on long-range scans. "Any suggestions as to how we locate them?" Archer hung his head.

"Captain we've found Tholians warp signatures and what appears to be signs of some sort of tractor beam being engaged." Ensign Riley said as he and Simms exited the turbolift having spent the last hours going over the data together.

"Tholians? What would Tholians want with our shuttlepod?" They would have no use for a shuttlepod. Their technology was far beyond anything Starfleet had. So what were they after now and why?

Their encounters with the Tholians thus far had made little sense. The Vulcan database indicated they were from this time but then they also had connections to the future as was evidenced when they tried to steal that futuristic pod Enterprise had found. "Did you find a trail we can follow?" Malcolm asked of the two.

"It goes to the other side of the planet then just disappears. We think it's possible there is some sort of tear in space and that's where our shuttlepod was taken." The pair had no other explanation for how a shuttlepod that had been on Enterprise's sensors could simply be gone without a trace.

"Not again." Time travel seemed new and exciting the first few times they'd encountered the phenomena but once that wore off it became inconvenient and confusing. "So how do we go about finding them?"

"Let's get closer to the area and we'll start running scans to see what we can." Reed motioned to Riley and Simms to follow him. "We'll send Ensign Mayweather the coordinates from the Command Center."

"Let me know the minute you find anything." Archer rubbed his temple. Tholians and parallel universes. Somehow Archer knew there wasn't going to be a quick easy fix for this problem and he wasn't looking forward to the prospect of having to seek out the Tholians.

BnB: I borrowed some of your characteristics of Tucker in your MU tale _Payment_, hope you don't mind. I wanted to make the MU episodes a part of the RU and not the throwaway of two episodes before the end of the show that they were. Never understood why TPTB thought that was a good idea. But it seems to be a popular one when shows end. They did the same thing with that Las Vegas episode on Stargate: Atlantis. It did make sense that an engineer like Tucker would hold a certain amount of power when they took over Defiant. The ongoing story of _Payment_ is posted under Blackn'blue at .?page=archive for those of you who like good MU stories.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Defining and Clearing up the Images**

"Do I need to assign separate quarters for you?" Tucker led them down the corridor not far from his own quarters.

T'Pol very succinctly answered for them. "One room will do."

"Thought so but I thought it polite to ask rather than just assume." Tucker seemed almost civil. There had been no noteworthy consideration for others since he left home, with one exception, but the time for that was later after he built some rapport between them and that meant making it clear that they were under his protection as long as they were part of his engineering team. Reed and the rest of them may inflict pain and suffering on his crew, but Archer knew better than to push Tucker too far. Lax training in the Empire, which only had required they set their sights on acquiring as much of space as possible, meant there was no encouragement of mavericks and free thinkers. That left Tucker in the unique position of holding a limited amount of power. Without his expertise and talents, Defiant would be useless.

Tucker watched the Vulcan walking down the corridor. The Commander T'Pol in this universe had been forced to serve on this ship by Admiral Black and Archer went against his own tendencies to distrust aliens, when Admiral Forrest continually promoted her while overlooking the human crewmembers that should have received the recognition, and accepted her counsel and rank. Tucker wasn't in a position criticize. He continued to allow himself, even after her many betrayals, to believe that someday she would see him as more than just useful. He'd always been attracted to her but after he spent those days with her he'd found it impossible to get her out of his system. His sigh denoted his latest attempt to push these thoughts deep into the recesses of his mind.

They entered the room followed by Tucker. He checked to be sure the supplies he'd ordered were in the package he'd picked up from the quartermaster. Rifling through the clothing, toiletries, blankets, and towels Tucker latched onto the hypospray and roughly placed it in T'Pol's hand. His voice became softer, less raspy than normal. "I had a hypospray of pain meds sent for you. You need to keep your head down and don't attract any attention to yourselves. When Reed, Archer, Sato, or Mayweather are around remember what Reed said. They are all adamant about the rules and next time Reed will convince Archer to let him put you in his chamber of horrors." Reed held a great deal of influence over Archer, which no one understood. They only knew that Archer had a Jekyll and Hyde personality that bounced back and forth with no clear indication of what instigated the shifts and Reed was a masterful manipulator of those moods. There wasn't one person with the exception of Archer and Phlox that did not wish great bodily harm to Major Malcolm Reed.

Trip sat on the edge of the couch taking in their surroundings. He began surveying the perimeter for any signs of surveillance equipment. Tucker understood immediately what he was doing.

Almost snarling Tucker informed them, "Archer won't have Reed bug you unless you gave him reason not to trust you. If Reed tries to put any audio or video equipment in here it's unauthorized. There are a few systems on this ship I haven't fully explained to the Captain or anybody else." He'd encoded and buried certain specs and manuals in the engineering database. "One of them jams surveillance equipment and I have it operating in certain areas I've designated." Besides Tucker hadn't told anyone which quarters he was going to assign them. And Reed wouldn't have anticipated him choosing quarters on this deck so he wouldn't have been able to place any bugs yet. And when he did he'd have no way to inform Archer of the malfunction without admitting he'd been spying.

T'Pol nodded her head in thanks. "Are we under any restrictions we should be aware of?" T'Pol wished to avoid any more beatings if at all possible.

Tucker had this twisted smile on his face. "Archer sees himself as some kind of demigod. Thinks he can read people, so if he's convinced he can trust you you'll be fine. Just remember you'll be escorted by those guards outside, whenever you leave your quarters or engineering. Other than that, if you follow the rules you're free to do whatever you want during your free time."

Tucker made an uncomfortable motion to their hands. "I wouldn't recommend holding hands in the presence of Reed or Archer but the rest of the crew should be okay with it." How the rest of the crew would react to them, Tucker wasn't sure. They'd never seen a Vulcan openly touch another being unless it couldn't be avoided. Commander T'Pol came very close but never actually made physical contact. "Most of the crew will leave you alone if you leave them alone. Some might be a bit more aggressive in front of their superior officers, especially if their bucking to move up the food chain but you'll catch on to who to watch out for."

Tucker moved to the door. "Be in engineering at 08:00 sharp. Ask the MACOs if you need anything. They'll help you as long as you don't make them look bad in front of Reed." Tucker stopped as he stepped into the corridor, turning. "Oh and you need to salute officers whenever you see them." Tucker demonstrated. "Your fist to your chest here...," Trip and T'Pol both watched as he brought the flat of his fist to the left of his sternum, "...then bring it straight out and hold it there for a couple of seconds." His arm went back to his side before he turned and headed off to his own quarters.

Trip looked through the supplies Tucker had delivered for them. No candles. "I'm going in search of a candle or two. While I'm gone you take a nice hot show...bath." He had maneuvered her to the bathroom and saw the tub. Tucker had put them in senior officer's quarters.

His fingers ran lightly over her lower ribs. "He broke a rib didn't he? And don't try to hide it because I'm touching you so I can feel it." It must be extremely painful if she was unable to block it from him any better than she was.

T'Pol turned to the bathtub. Trip stopped her. "I'm sorry I couldn't help today but Tucker said I'd only make it worse." He gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her neck, kissing her softly.

She was glad he hadn't antagonized Reed further. She didn't tell him she feared he'd ignore her and come to her aid so she used the bond and mentally instructed Tucker to stop him. "He was correct. The Major is a sadistic man and found it pleasurable to inflict pain on me and would have enjoyed inflicting more if you had intervened. I will be more careful in the future." T'Pol turned to lay her head against his chest and breathe him in.

---

"Lay still. I'll never finish this posture if you don't stop moving. Am I hurting you?"

"No, but your distress is passing through your touch. If we were to meditate, you may be able to release some of what ever is causing this tension." It served no purpose to continue while Trip was so stressed, as he only passed his stress more directly to her.

"Meditation isn't going to help. This is the first time we've done neuro-pressure in weeks and it's because you're hurt and it's my fault." This was not what he'd planned when he asked Captain Archer to send T'Pol with him and now they were trapped in some nightmare.

T'Pol slowly sat up across from Trip. "So you blame yourself for the Tholians ripping a hole in space and pulling us through it and I had nothing to do with Reed beating me because I could not suppress my emotions and dared to challenge a human who was appreciating the attributes of my mate?" He was being totally illogical. "And if you're saying it's your fault I'm here then stop because there is no place I'd rather be. If either of us were sitting back on Enterprise that would be unbearable and you know this." She left out his guilt over having given her reason to be jealous of Cole in the first place because it wasn't his fault that her reaction to this Cole's obvious appreciation of Trip was so strong that she lost command of her emotions.

Her control was very fragile and he could hear it as well as feel it. "It does sound a bit self-centered when you put it that way but it's my fault we needed to get away and I pressured the Captain into letting us do the testing now instead of when he originally planned." Trip closed his eyes and tried to release the tension he was feeling inside. He opened his eyes again. "You never said whether you could forgive me."

"There was never anything to forgive. What bothers me is that you did not trust that I could help you or that I was strong enough to help you. And you shut me out." She had betrayed his trust, albeit for a good reason but she had made the choice to risk his anger.

"That wasn't it. I wasn't shutting you out. I was hiding from myself. And I knew you'd help me but I was afraid that if I talked to you you'd insist on helping no matter what and we've worked too long and too hard to get you healthy again." He reached for her hands. "I wasn't strong enough to help myself and you and the bond would have spiraled out of control. What I didn't take into account was how much you needed me to help you... and for that I am so sorry." Trip had just begun to sense the emotions from all that had taken place and what she had been keeping from him. The events of the day were taking their toll on her and if she continued this way her control would falter again and that was something Trip was not willing to risk. Any violent outburst and it would be all Reed would need to get his way with Archer. "So what's going to help you more -- meditation or neuro-pressure?"

"Meditation." T'Pol watched as Trip lit the two candles he'd found and retrieved a pillow from the bedroom and handed it to her. Better to let him walk off his concern first then they could try neuro-pressure again later.

He wanted to give her some time alone to gather her strength. "We can see where we are while we eat. You meditate I'll be back."

He went over the topics they needed to discuss on the way to get dinner. There was much he wanted to discuss with her but first he needed to ensure she was as pain free as possible and that her ribs were bound.

Upon entering the Mess Hall, he saw Soval and walked directly to his table. "Sorry to bother you but do you have any idea where I might find something to bind up a couple broken ribs? I'd normally go to Sickbay but Tucker suggested we stay away from Phlox unless his services were absolutely necessary."

"I heard that Reed disciplined T'Pol earlier. And Tucker is correct. The Denobulan may have a medical degree but he is not a healer. I will have someone bring some binding material to your quarters. Were you able to obtain what you need for meditation?" The lack of anything the Vulcans might need was common but the humans had long ago accepted that Vulcan required meditation so candles and meditation pillows were provided.

"I'm fine I can mediate anywhere but T'Pol's using two little candles I found and the pillow off the bed." It would suffice but they would need more candles and if he could find a proper meditation pillow it would be more comfortable for her.

A young male of a species Trip was unfamiliar with asked, "You meditate?"

"Yes I do. It helps me relax and it's something T'Pol and I can do together." T'Pol would only meditate with him a few nights a week because they usually ended up snuggled up in their own little space talking through most of those sessions so she had to meditate on her own later.

"Don't mean to be so personal but I've never meet a human who was friends with a Vulcan before. Most of the humans we know only tolerate other species because we can do the work they don't want to do themselves." The young slave looked around making sure no one overheard his comment.

"There are some humans in my world who don't like aliens but most of us get along with other species. My starship's mission is to explore. Most of the crew signed on to see new places and meet new species. I'm friends with our Dr. Phlox and I have two Andorian lieutenants working in engineering on my ship. We'd like to learn about your species or any of the others aboard, so stop by our quarters, or join us in here sometime if you like." Trip wanted to get to know as many of the aliens aboard Defiant as he could. He really did want to learn about the other species but he also wanted to befriend them so once he and T'Pol had an escape plan they might be willing to help. If they were responsible for the grunt work they would have knowledge of ship that could prove useful.

Trip went to the buffet and was met by the cook he'd spoken to earlier. "I made a pasta dish for you." He handed over two covered plates. "Put these aside when I saw that it was a popular dish with the other Vulcans."

Trip took the dishes. "Thank you. I'll come by as soon as I have time and we'll see if we can figure out how you can use the re-sequencer. That way you won't have to spend the whole day cooking." He squeezed the man's shoulder. Trying to make meals for the crew from scratch everyday had to be exhausting for someone who was forced into the job.

Reed's hands shook as he stood observing the interaction between the cook and Trip. He'd seen Trip walk directly to the table of aliens and talk like they were old friends. It was far worse than he'd thought. This version of Tucker was bolder and would circumvent Archer completely to get his way. He'd been here a day and already had the crew fulfilling his request. And those request all seemed to center around that Vulcan. That thought brought him back to his major interest of late. T'Pol. His musings had always been that there was more to the Vulcan female than met the eye and watching how Trip openly kowtowed to his Vulcan only strengthened his belief that she was definitely someone he wanted to spend some time with. Now all he needed to do was get Archer to let him separate the two so he could use their attachment to get her to bend to his will.

---

The chime startled Trip. He laid the blanket over T'Pol who had finally drifted off to sleep. They still needed to talk but she needed the rest more.

"Crewman Soval. Come in." Trip watched as the MACO tried to inch past them to see into the bedroom.

Soval also saw this and moved inside, handing the package he'd brought with him to Trip. The MACO's view was blocked by the partition so he stepped back and Trip let the door close. "The bindings you asked for and something for pain and infection if that becomes an issue." The human hadn't said which ribs and if they had perforated her lung. There was also a meditation pillow and additional candles.

Soval took in the scene. T'Pol's clothing was laid over the back of a chair. She really was bonded to this human. Such a pairing was not thought possible before their arrival.

"Tucker gave us something for pain but this might come in handy later." He hoped to avoid any further trouble but with the volatile natures of those in this universe, it was unlikely.

"Commander Tucker is known for protecting those under his command if they are loyal. Just don't cross him. He offers the most protection aside from being one of Archer or Reed's concubines." Soval's eyes began scanning the room.

Trip could see he shared the same concerns about being observed. "Tucker assured us it's safe to talk here." He continued the conversation. "Hoshi seems to be with the Captain and Reed has taken an unusual interest in T'Pol." Trips eyes absently drifted toward the bedroom.

"Her involvement with you may encourage the Major to pursue that interest. I've long suspected an attraction to Commander T'Pol but she had the protection of Forrest and now Archer. And the Commander has shown a definite aversion to all humans. If he wants your T'Pol as a replacement and sees an opening he will stop at nothing to have her." Soval had a suspicion that the Commander's aversion did not include one human but she was adamant that her only interest in Tucker was to use him to further their cause as assigned.

"Is there any way to stop him?" Major Reed seemed to get off on inflicting pain and Tucker had warned them about some booth he was constructing to do just that. T'Pol's weakened neural pathways could not withstand any electrical surges if she were to maintain her control. He inflicted his own brand of pain on her recently and there was no way he would allow anyone else to cause her more.

"It will be difficult without killing him. If you are truly bonded, use that to make Tucker and the others believe that she is vital to your well-being. They know nothing of Vulcan culture so use this to your advantage." As far as the Vulcans knew no humans had knowledge regarding Vulcan bonds.

Some character traits carried through no matter what universe one was in. "That's logical but deceptive. Wouldn't giving them that kind of information be harmful to the rest of the Vulcans here? Needs of the many and all that?" Trip wouldn't put a whole planet in jeopardy to keep himself and T'Pol safe. T'Pol would never agree to such a plan.

"Deceit can be quite logical when one's life depends on it. Discuss it with T'Pol. She will have a better understanding of how to go about it. You seem to be the one Archer most wants protected." Being a lowly crewman Soval was in no position to offer much aid.

In this world, one's life depended on more than deceit and logic and he was going to have to allow that darker side of himself a little free rein if they were to get back to Enterprise. He would lie and cheat and more if that was what was required to keep T'Pol safe.

---

Trip shot up in bed. His chest was rising and falling way to fast and his body was drenched in sweat. T'Pol laid there waiting for his focus to come back to the real world from that of his dreams. He turned and laid back on his side facing T'Pol. "Damn, it's happening again." Trip hadn't had dreams like this since he and T'Pol went to Vulcan.

Trip moved away and leaned back against the bulkhead. He pulled the blanket up over his hips to hide his arousal. "It's like two different dreams melding together. Tucker's repeated intense and almost violent sex and these more sensual and tender fantasies. She's like a siren calling to me in my sleep. I can't seem to resist her even though I find this all so repulsive." Watching sex dreams with this alternate of himself and an alternate of T'Pol then trying to analyze what they meant left him with a creepy-crawly feeling. The pull she had over him was alluring and hard to resist and that terrified him.

T'Pol could feel how uncomfortable he was. She moved to sit across from him as if she was going to meditate.

He moved away from her. "No way. There's no way I'm letting you do that again. If we're going to make love in any reality I want it to be about our desire for each other not some perverted dream version of us." He'd just concentrate on the creep factor and hope that would take care of the residual effects.

T'Pol could see his determination and could sense how guilty he felt and decided she lacked the strength to argue and let it go for now. She knew they were not his dreams and that the pull of the bond between their alternative selves was becoming stronger. If the bond between Tucker and the Commander has been intentionally restricted then perhaps their minds were seeking alternative paths to connect and had found one by using the open bond between Trip and T'Pol. Or perhaps Commander T'Pol found Trip to be more desirable than Tucker.

They were both awake and obviously needed to unwind a bit before trying to go back to sleep so Trip started talking. "Tucker was talking about mating then said he did the Commander a favor during 'a very unrestrained time in her life'. I took that to mean her Pon Farr. You said a bond was formed during Pon Farr and he said it happened a couple of years ago but they don't seem to be bonded." Trip hadn't seen the pair together much but he was sure Tucker had feelings for Commander T'Pol. The Commander on the other hand seemed to view Tucker as sub-human but useful. Nothing about this made sense.

T'Pol wished she knew more about bonds. "You have spoken to Crewman Soval perhaps it is time I seek him out. He may have access to knowledge we do not possess in our universe. It is possible Commander T'Pol has hidden the truth from Tucker."

"Don't tell him of our suspicions about Tucker and the Commander. I trust him but not enough to give him private information about someone else." Soval seemed fine with their bond but they were outsiders and currently posed no real threat to the order of things here.

She wouldn't have shared any knowledge of the others bond without their consent. "He knows of our bond so will assume my interest is personal. He is correct that we may have to use our bond to deceive Reed and Archer." Trip watched the wheels turning. "I seem to remember an ancient ritual unknown to most Vulcans that you and I have undergone to form a connection between us. We should not mention that Vulcans are telepathic as the humans here seem unaware of this and it would only make them more distrustful."

"So we're inventing a Vulcan ritual that supposedly exists in our universe but not here?" Seemed reasonable but he'd need all the details to make it sound believable enough to sell it to Archer and Reed.

"The Ho-rah of Tersayek sounds good. It exist in our world but is known only to the elderly priests on Vulcan." There truly were many rituals that Vulcans were not aware of until they consulted a priest and they'd just invent one to suit their needs.

"The ritual of coupling? And that's an ancient ritual to do what exactly?" Trip smiled. Their Archer had told him about her stint as a judge a couple of years ago to get information from that alien but with the exception of her great performance talking to non-existent rock people he'd not seen her more creative talents, beyond playing dress up on away missions, being used to deceive someone.

T'Pol considered how to best foster a belief that they were just as self-serving as those in this world. "We had a priest secretly perform the ceremony on Vulcan and we choose to undergo this ritual so Starfleet could not separate us without risking our deaths. They could not do without their most talented engineer so they had no choice but to station us together." It was true they had a ritual performed on Vulcan and while it was not done secretly, it was done quietly. And Starfleet did need his skills but T'Pol really only said that to make Trip smile, which he did.

"Good to know you appreciate my many talents, but enough stroking my ego." Trip laughed then a thought struck him. "Tucker said the Tholians somehow pulled our shuttle through one of their spatial interphases, but why? They have more advanced technology than our shuttle has so what were they after if not the shuttle?" The only other things on that shuttle were he and T'Pol. But they had Tucker and Commander T'Pol here already so why not just take them? Why would the Tholians have thought it was worth the risk to come after them and how had they known they would be in that shuttle? It would help if they understood how the Thoilians created that rift, so they could get back home.

T'Pol could see his mind was off on some tangent. "You must get Tucker to trust you." T'Pol knew if he trusted Trip he'd then trust T'Pol, but without Trip she feared he'd never fully trust her.

"His feelings for Commander T'Pol are all that are keeping him from becoming totally corrupt and cynical." Tucker's soul was much darker than Trip's as was Commander T'Pol's but they were salvageable. Trip didn't find it hard to believe that Tucker's salvation was Commander T'Pol after all his T'Pol was whom he'd held onto when rage and despair threatened to devour his soul while in the expanse.

---

Awake again. Hours and hours of meditation had done little to help suppress these thoughts and sensations. Dreams. Every night for months and now they made sleep impossible. Trip and Tucker were both hauntingly present whenever she dared close her eyes and relax her barriers. Living amongst humans had strengthened her control so that she didn't even have to think about suppressing her emotions or reactions. Then she met Tucker, when he'd been reassigned to this crew two and a half years ago. There was this unnatural force, which drew her to him, and he made it worse by constantly sliding in close to antagonize her every chance he got. Forcing her senses to take him in. When her time came there were Vulcans available who would have bonded with her and left her alone for seven more years, if she wished. But she had to have him. Told herself she could satisfy her Pon Farr and her desire for Tucker and walk away. That had not happened. At some point, he said he cared for her and she tried to convince herself it was only something he said in the heat of the moment but when the urge to meld with him overpowered her there it was. Love, passion, and desire locked away. He like her was trying to deny it existed. This discovery crowded out her determination to rid herself of this human's hold over her. Before she was truly aware, the bond was begun and now she must fight to maintain the walls she had erected in both their minds to prevent his recognition of it, for her own peace of mind. There was no other course of action open to her. She had caused him pain and discomfort but she could not...would not allow anyone to cause him permanent harm. His hold over her had become so strong that in a moment of confusion she blurted out her deception to him as a taunt. Not typical behavior for a Vulcan, but then when had anything to do with Tucker been typical? The human had found yet another way to unsettle her mind. This must be stopped before it was too late.

---

Tucker spent the morning climbing through the jeffries tubes with Trip. In his haste to get the ship operational, per Archer's insistent orders, he had bypassed some vital systems. The pair were now trying to isolate the problems and create a plan for correcting them. Trip was in engineering heaven studying the warp drive and the other systems on Defiant that Captain Tucker had not let him near on Lexington. Many of the upgrades were out of the realm of possibility for starships in his timeline in 2157. Nevertheless, there were many things he could see being feasible in the near future and the systems that were out of reach might still lead to improvements to current systems.

Tucker had gone through a brief history of the Terran Empire and then explained how Archer had captured Defiant, from the Tholians, and then the Captaincy and how he was now bent on being Emperor Archer. A position that had seen its fair share of occupants. To Trip the power shifted here much like it seemed to amongst those in the Klingon Empire. Survival of the fittest or the one most willing to remove anyone or anything in the path to the top. Sometimes they did it openly and at other times, the power grabs were more shadowy and covert. No one seemed too concerned that what goes up usually comes down with a very loud thud. Especially if that rise was carried out too quickly and without thorough planning and had no trustworthy support. Trip had spent enough time with both Malcolm and T'Pol to have learned not to rush anything so important and potentially deadly. He wanted to get home as soon as possible but the key was to get them home alive and well.

"So we have a plan and now all you need to do is convince Archer to let you shut down the warp core so we can reroute things the right way." His own Captain Archer disliked shutting down the core at the best of times and this Archer was paranoid, with reason, and would most likely fear being without warp engines and full power for any length of time.

"Keep your mouth shut." Tucker snapped at Trip. "I need to consider all the possibilities so I'll hold off on that." Tucker wanted time to use this to his best advantage.

Trip wondered if his mood swings were ever that bad. "Is it okay if I talk to T'Pol. She won't say anything."

Tucker stopped. He had to get a hold on himself if he was every going to make Trip feel comfortable around him. "I expected you'd talk to her. You seem pretty close."

"We are. You and the Commander seem to be..." Trip eyes went upward as he searched for the appropriate word that wouldn't anger him again.

Tucker put up his hand. "That's just it... what are we? She uses me when it serves her purpose." Tucker decided to see what Trip knew about Vulcans. "Do you know anything about mind melds?"

"Some. Vulcans don't usually talk about them so how is it you know about them?" Tucker was extremely knowledgeable about tightly guarded information about Vulcans yet he didn't appear to be close to any of the Vulcans here.

"Evidently, the bitch lured me to her quarters and performed this mind meld on me but I don't remember how she did it or how many times she's done it." The anger was evident in his voice. "All I know is she said she got me to sabotage a cloaking device on Enterprise and then made me forget I ever did it. I've been trying to figure out how to stop her from doing it again." He smacked his arm against the bulkhead. The only way to stop her was to stay away from her, which he'd been doing but the desire to just be in the same space was starting to overwhelm him again.

Mind melds. That's what she was doing to him, but why would she have told him of her deception? T'Pol had long ago explained what she'd learned about melding to Trip and she'd explained Vulcans were capable of using techniques to manipulate an untrained mind. While there didn't appear to be much to back it up there obviously had to be a bond between them and as her bondmate, Tucker should be able to prevent Commander T'Pol from entering his mind, at will. But the knowledge of the bond must have been hidden from him.

That may be his way of ingratiating himself to Tucker. Explain the bond to him and offer to teach him what he needed to know to protect himself from her. "Really. I'll talk to T'Pol and see if there's anything we can do to help you out."

Tucker assumed there was a price and he had no doubt of what it was they wanted. Who wouldn't want to escape this place if they could? "Maybe we could come to some mutually satisfying agreement."

Trip studied him for a second. "That's a distinct possibility."

Tucker could use their help with the ship and with the Vulcan and he'd see what could be done to get them free of the Tholians, Archer, and Reed.

---

Commander T'Pol stood before Corporal Cole. "I was unaware that Captain Archer changed his orders." The room was full of crew who had been busily working but there wasn't a sound being made by any of them. Full attention had turned toward the two women.

Amanda knew exactly what the Commander meant but tried to act naïve. "To what orders are you referring?" Cole kept the edge out of her words. She knew better than to cross the Commander, especially where Tucker was concerned. She'd come after her over a year ago when she discovered Tucker had been involved with her casually. His interest in her had cooled so when the Vulcan threatened to kill her if Cole said anything about her threat or came near Tucker again she decided it was best to heed her warnings.

The Commander's words got very quiet and sharp. "The orders that station guards at the doorway not at his backside." Commander T'Pol took a step forward between Cole and the subjects of her leering, forcing the Corporal backwards towards the door. "I suggest you become more attentive to your duties and the Captain's orders if you wish to advance beyond your current assignment." This wasn't the first time she'd caught this woman sniffing around Tucker and now she must feel she had a chance with his alternate. Commander T'Pol did not want the Corporal's presence to offer any encouragement for Tucker to consider taking up with her again and where Trip was so was Tucker. Reed had stepped in last time and saved the Vulcan from having to remind her to back off, but the Corporal obviously didn't remember her message.

Neither Trip nor Tucker had been aware of Cole's proximity but both were very alert to Commander T'Pol's presence. The pull threatened to submerge both men in a swirl of heat and desire. Desire not only physical but also that of minds and hearts seeking, fighting to connect but being denied. The pain of wanting something so forbidden and dangerous pushed against the pain of needing to resist the urges that threatened dominance over logic and control.

Then there was his T'Pol. Standing near him, exercising her control, enveloping Trip in some protective blanket, silently, and slowly forcing the thoughts and feelings from his mind. She could only do so much and when he felt rational again, all he could think was how tortuous and twisted it was being manipulated this way and marveled that Tucker had survived any of this for the last two years?

---

"Tucker asked if I knew of any way to stop her from performing mind melds on him. I think if we help him with that along with learning how to better maintain this ship he might just be open to helping us." Going against her Vulcan heritage and interfering with bondmates was not something T'Pol would take lightly, but Trip was hopeful that in this case she would see that Tucker was being abused by Commander T'Pol and needed her protection.

"It is forbidden to come between bondmates. But a bonded mate is required to care for their mate and Commander T'Pol has clearly failed to care for her mate. In fact, she seems to be causing him harm." Tucker had said that he was tortured on one occasion when she used a mind meld to get him to commit sabotage. T'Pol was also convinced she had been using the bond and their combined sexual desire through shared dreams to keep him under control. Either act would be seen as unworthy of a bonded mate, which on her home world would mean the bond would be severed and afterwards she would not be allowed to bond to another, forcing her to attempt her next Pon Farr alone with no one to assist her. It was hard to judge Vulcans behavior here, as most of them had not received proper training and were influenced by the humans who had enslaved them. According to Tucker Commander T'Pol had been raised on Vulcan though and should be very aware of her responsibilities. But that would only be enforced if there was some Vulcan authority over Vulcan citizens serving the Terran Empire.

Trip watched her eyes. She would find a solution she could live with but he wasn't going to press her on it and decided to let it go for now. "You up to dinner in the Mess?"

Interacting with the crew and continuing to build some kind of trust and friendships seemed like a good idea but T'Pol worried about the relationships some of the humans on this ship wished to develop. Trip did not want to just use them to get free so he wanted to find ways to help them if he could but many of them were only interested in what they wanted.

---

Dinnertime in the crew's Mess Hall. Reed entered expecting that the occupants would be as always. The crew in small groups around the room eating and talking; some would be in lighter moods than he liked to see but he still liked to sit back and take pride in his accomplishments. What he found was beyond unacceptable. The two Tuckers were seated at a table talking, about what he didn't know but some engineering concern judging by their focus. Tucker should be in the Officer's Mess. His presence was unexpected but not intolerable.

The other T'Pol, the one that had taken over his thoughts since they'd arrived, was also sitting at the table with several aliens all deep in conversation. One of the newer additions to the crew, one of the aliens the Tholians had working aboard Defiant when they stole it, walked up to Trip, leaned in, and spoke. He watched as Trip, then Tucker each nodded in the affirmative and then Trip reached out and shook the alien's hand. The alien was startled by the gesture but allowed the human to touch him.

This only confirmed the rumors he'd been hearing. Not only was there no negative reaction to their interactions with the other species, Reed could see that many of the other humans in the room were intrigued with what they saw. It had taken him years of planning and planting seeds of doubt and distrust to get this crew off balance enough to ensure no alliances or friendships would form between any of the humans and aliens. From the look of things, this new version of Tucker had made progress dismantling his handiwork in only a few days. He had to get something on her and soon. He needed to give Trip Tucker something to worry about and nothing would accomplish that faster than that Vulcan of his.

---

"Malcolm you have to sleep sometime. You're not going to find them this way." Hoshi stood behind him trying to appeal to his sense of reason again. He was impossible when in this frame of mind. It was his duty to protect the crew and Trip and T'Pol were so much more than that to him. To them both.

"I have to find them Hoshi. It's my job. He's like a brother and I can't lose him. You and Trip are my family. T'Pol's even starting to feel like family." He and T'Pol were still dancing around each other. He didn't quite see her like he did his own sister, Madeline, but if she continued to trust him and let him be her friend he most definitely could. And that didn't matter anyway. She was connected to Trip and that made all the difference. He'd do whatever was necessary to bring them home.

"I know but you have to rest. Come to my quarters and sleep. I'll wake you up whenever you say." Hoshi had run out of persuasive ways to get him to rest. If he didn't come with her now she would have to go to the doctor and have him order him to sleep.

"If I don't come with you you'll go get Phlox won't you?" Malcolm didn't need to ask. Hoshi was as stubborn as he was and wouldn't give up if she knew she was right. He thought about Trip's multiple complaints about Phlox threatening him if he didn't follow his directives and get some sleep. And as much as he hated to admit it she was right he needed sleep. His brain had stopped working hours ago. He was going over the same data repeatedly but he wasn't seeing what he needed to see. "Fine. You promise to wake me up in four hours and I'll go."

"Make it five and we have a deal." He might not agree but it was worth a shot.

That sounded like the doctor. "You've spent too much time with Phlox."

"Maybe, but do we have a deal?" Hoshi extended her hand to him.

"For you I'll make the deal but let's not make a habit of this okay." Malcolm took her hand and let her lead him to the turbolift. Phlox would have pushed for six and if he didn't agree, he might have gotten the Captain to order him to take a sedative that would knock him out but it would also leave him groggy when he woke up.

Hoshi massaged his temples and watched his eyes drift closed while she worriedly remembered their discussion that morning. "Have you found anything that's of use?"

"I think I know how to seal up that hole but I need T'Pol and Trip to complete the final calculations on the explosive force needed." The Science Officer would know how to calculate the charges and where to place them. Then he could decide what type of explosives they should use. But they had to find them before they could worry about sealing the tear.

"What happens if Starfleet decides times up and orders us to seal it?" Hoshi knew that Captain Archer had been discussing things with Admiral Gardner. Almost three weeks had gone by and in another week maybe two Starfleet would most likely declare the Commanders missing and order them to seal it or send a team to figure out how to do it if Enterprise couldn't.

"Trip and T'Pol know what the rules are and won't give up. We'll find a way to get them home before then." Malcolm had to believe that or he wouldn't have been able to continue.

Hoshi closed her eyes and pushed away her worries about what would happen to Malcolm if they didn't make it home. She turned her attention to making this man she loved unwind enough to sleep. Her lips met his and the tautness throughout his body began to loosen up.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**Ozymandias Seeking the Light - Part 1 of 4**

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said--"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desart....Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings,

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away."

By Percy Bysshe Shelley

Emperor Jonathon Archer viewed his domain with scorn. It wasn't official; as yet; but he in fact now held the position he'd sought, but nothing had changed. Earth was the same as before. His subjects followed orders but most would still rather slice his throat and would at the first opportunity presented to them. Sato visited his bed but held no loyalty to him as she might have to Forrest. His head of security thought he had Archer wound around his finger and Archer had let him believe this but it no longer suited his needs. As the new Emperor he had to be careful to make whatever he did seem to be fair and just if he wished to remain in power.

The voices were gone after that stint in Reed's booth. Hours of pain and torture had silenced them until today. 'Kill Reed'... don't kill Reed', was the current argument with neither side providing much clarity to his thoughts. Archer sat staring at the image of the Emperor he was deposing. Reed's actions would be the determining factor in making that decision for him.

---

"Before we proceed you must give us your word that you will not divulge any of this information to another." T'Pol agreed to do as Trip asked but only if Tucker would give his word and she felt she could trust him to keep it. Trip assured her that while he might become extremely angry when he learned the extent of Commander T'Pol's deception, his feelings for her, and their bond would override any wish to cause her harm.

Abruptly he responded. "I already told Trip you have my word." There were very few people Tucker would believe. These two were amongst them but they were not of this world. They had no reason to believe anything he said.

"Look I trust you and if you'll behave then T'Pol will trust you and we can get on with helping each other out here." Trip spoke up before T'Pol could start talking herself out of this. The go with your gut trust Trip was operating under didn't quite fit in with the Vulcan code of conduct she was used to applying to her own behavior.

Tucker didn't know how they could trust him but he reassured them anyway. "You both have my word." Tucker glared at her as her gaze shifted and held Trip's.

T'Pol quickly buried any doubt she might have had and began explaining the bond and how it came about.

"You mean she tricked me into this? That bitch." Tucker's voice had become louder and his chest began to heave with anger. He stood, steadying himself, and started for the door.

Trip grasped his shoulder and pulled him back. "She may not have been completely open but it wouldn't have been possible if you didn't have some pretty strong feelings for her. It also means she must have the some powerful feelings for you." He watched his twin's lungs inflate then deflate for several counts.

"Wouldn't it be better to learn how to keep her out of your head before you confront her?" He wanted Tucker to cool off and engage the rational part of his brain. To think. Reacting in anger would only serve to get them all killed. He also wanted him to learn some shielding techniques to prevent Commander T'Pol's free access to all their minds. They still didn't know if she was aware that she was gaining access to Trip and T'Pol's bond through this bond she shared with Tucker.

Tucker continued to mutter under his breath and angrily pound one fist then the other against his own thighs while doing so.

T'Pol was concerned. This man had less control of his emotions than Trip did so exploding whenever and wherever he encountered the Commander was the most likely outcome. "You cannot allow others to know of this bond or you put yourself and Commander T'Pol in grave danger." Not to mention herself and Trip.

T'Pol insisted they only tell him about bondmates and not that all Vulcans were empathic to some degree with most all species. They would also not tell him of their telepathic abilities. According to Crewman Soval, with the exception of mating and life and death situations, it was strictly forbidden for Vulcans to use their abilities at all when off their home world.

Tucker now pumped his fist, repeatedly in the air while turning to face T'Pol. Once fully turned he positioned his hands away from his body at waist-level with fingers spread. "I want to wrap my hands around her neck and choke the life out of her..." He stopped when he saw the darkness in T'Pol's eyes and felt her exerting some force to prevent his forward progress to the door. He struggled against her influence for several minutes. "...but... dammit." The mental jolt he then felt startled him.

He couldn't go after her like this. They were right. Archer was so crazed and paranoid that if he found out Vulcans could do mind melds and make bonds...he'd not only kill Vulcans he'd kill every alien for fear they might have some hidden talents. Phlox would be in heaven having live humanoid subjects to poke and probe. Tucker wanted to cause T'Pol as much pain as she'd caused him, with her lies and using him, but he wouldn't be responsible for all those others.

"Perhaps some relaxation techniques and meditation would be appropriate lessons to consider?" T'Pol motioned to the pillows on the floor.

Relaxation techniques? Who was she kidding? Tucker hadn't relaxed in years. Wasn't sure he even know how to anymore. He might not become relaxed but he needed to calm down so he focused on her voice. "Why do you always talk like that? You sound as formal as the computer on this ship does." Tucker had been around Vulcans since he enlisted and this one definitely was different.

"We are taught from a very young age to be very formal and proper. Trip and the crew of Enterprise have taught me much about human language and culture but it is difficult to change years of training. I do not mean to offend you." She'd heard the Vulcans on the ship use human terms frequently and they all were much more open with their vocal inflections, body language, and facial expressions than Vulcans should be. In unfamiliar situations she tended to rely heavily on her training and revert to the rigid, formal Vulcan, she was raised to be. Forgetting how off putting that could be to other species.

"You're not. I forget that most of the Vulcans I know grew up around humans and most haven't ever been to Vulcan. And if they have they don't remember it." He finally gave in and sat down across from T'Pol.

Tucker watched as she engaged in another of those silent interactions with Trip. "I know you're only trying to help. Is this what happened to you?" They wouldn't discuss their bond but Tucker somehow knew it wasn't a conscious choice on their part.

"Not exactly but close enough." Trip smiled. They hadn't experienced Pon Farr, as yet, and even if they had it was a topic he could not discuss.

T'Pol continued with the lessons until Tucker and Trip were both to tired to continue. Tucker left still extremely angry but much more confident, that he could finally protect himself and so exhausted that any harm he might wish to inflict on Commander T'Pol would be beyond his ability to do so. T'Pol had explained that it would take another mind meld to give him his memories back and as long as he wasn't in a deep coma during a meld, he would now be able to keep the Commander from entering his mind and wiping his memory out again. So he returned to his quarters to recompose himself to face her and the rest of the crew with this new knowledge.

---

Commander T'Pol was extremely testy according to the crewmen who had had any dealings with her of late. She was much more terse in her interactions and her green eyes normally flecked with brown specks were a very deep, dark green that served to enhance the fear she engendered in those who came into contact with her.

Her visits to Engineering had increased over the last few days. Her concerns appeared to be official but if anyone were to overcome their fear of her and closely observe they would see how unhinged she became when near either of the Tucker men. So much so that she was frequently forced to quickly retreat into Tucker's office to regain her composure. Tucker had seen her do this several times and having had enough of her presence chose to follow her.

He couldn't take much more of her being close by and still hold his temper. He entered the room to find her flat against the wall with her eyes closed doing what he now recognized as breathing exercises. Attempting to regain her composure much as he needed to do whenever she was near or when he woke up during the night because thoughts of her were swirling around in his head. He sidled up next to her. "You need to leave here, now. If and when I need your help or want to see you I'll let you know." He'd been avoiding her. So much so that she had to be near him to seek their bond to find any small sensation that let her know he still resided in her mind.

Commander T'Pol could feel the ripples of emotion coming from him but it was all so different. Everything about him was different. His emotions were muted and his thoughts were no longer clear and open to her, which shouldn't be true at this distance. She could feel anger and not much else. "I am the First Officer. You will show me the respect that position is due." She turned to face him head on.

His hands struck the bulkhead on either side of her head as his face got so close to hers that their noses almost touched. "Don't push me, you bitch, unless you're prepared for what happens next." Tucker practically growled the threat at her but then realized he was unsure of exactly what would happen next and backed away.

The First Officer would not have accepted such actions from anyone else but felt it necessary at this time and left before whatever he was holding in exploded in this most public of places. She could feel the bubbling up of his emotions and she didn't know why but she no longer had the upper hand with him and needed to figure out how to regain it.

---

T'Pol had gone to speak with Soval again. He had allowed her to read some Vulcan texts so she could learn of the culture of her people in this universe. All was veiled in secrecy and ritual on Vulcan here. Many of the rituals were hidden from even Vulcans so as to keep other species, especially the Terrans, from learning about the true nature of Vulcans. She was contemplating the data she had just read on her way back to Engineering when she caught a glimpse of a couple in the shadows. Her Vulcan hearing warned her of their presence and her eyes sought out the source of the voices automatically. Ensign Sato and Sgt. Mayweather were wrapped around each other as he left her quarters. T'Pol stepped to the right, in an attempt to cut off their line of sight, just in time. She moved quickly and quietly to the nearest turbolift. When she went to step off the turbolift she was met by Corporal Cole. The MACO had been giving her the 'evil eye', as Trip had called it, from a distance since she'd been reprimanded first by Reed and then by Commander T'Pol. Walking away from her T'Pol could feel the intense hatred this woman held toward her.

Cole grabbed at her, causing her to turn around. "You and that that..." she couldn't come up with the right word for Trip "...you've both done nothing but caused me grief since you got here." Cole pushed at her again causing pain to shoot through T'Pol's torso from the still unhealed rib Reed had broken.

"What's the matter? It's just you and me. No Reed to interfere." Cole stepped closer.

T'Pol did not want to draw any attention to herself so tried to calm the Corporal. "I have no quarrel with you Corporal Cole. Please allow me to return to Engineering."

"You'd like that wouldn't you? You both get a Tucker and look down your noses at us humans." The contempt was evident in her voice.

"Your statement lacks logic. If we 'get' Tucker then how can we be accused of 'looking down our noses at humans'?" T'Pol didn't see how this statement of logic could be taken until after she said it and saw the flare up of anger in the woman's eyes.

"Then maybe it's just me you look down at. Judging by your reaction to seeing me, there must have been something going on with your Tucker and Amanda Cole." Bull's-eye. She caught the momentary flicker of a reaction. Her Tucker had also been involved with Amanda Cole and she wasn't happy about it.

Her emotions of disgust and jealousy at the way this woman looked at Trip and those old feelings towards Amanda Cole for attempting to seduce Trip were pushing at the already frayed edges of her control. The Vulcan told herself to stop, she knew better, tried to find her center, but it was too late. Her emotions were flaring up and her barriers were not blocking Cole's emotions and her control was slipping. "She threw herself at him but he rejected her as it appears this Tucker has you."

Cole's already violent anger was suddenly being fed by all her pent up rage as she slammed the Vulcan into the bulkhead. "You Vulcan tramp. I may not get to have the Tucker I wanted but yours will do just fine."

T'Pol felt the rib move as she made contact with the bulkhead. Pain and severe nausea seared through her. Cole moved in to strike her again and whatever control T'Pol had left evaporated and she began defending herself by blindly connecting with the side of Cole's head knocking her down just as Reed rounded the corner.

---

Trip felt the distress T'Pol was in but had a situation of his own to deal with. Commander T'Pol had left Tucker's office earlier in quite a hurry. The look in her eyes, when she joined Trip in the turbolift, as he made his way to deck 12 to repair a broken seal, said whatever had been wrong then had not been resolved. The conversation started off innocently enough with questions about Enterprise. He felt uneasy but when the direction of her questions changed to his relationship with T'Pol every muscle in his body seemed to tense up. As her questions became more and more intimate and familiar so did her proximity to him until she had him bodily pinned in the corner of the turbolift. Vulcan. She was speaking in Vulcan. Ritualistic words he hadn't heard before but didn't have time to translate as her fingers kept finding their way to his face, seeking the contact points. Trip arms moved around deftly and desperately blocking her advances while he maneuvered his body to get away. She wanted to perform a mind meld and all he could think was he had to stop her. Even the Vulcans acted with their baser instincts in the universe.

His mind began screaming out for his mate, searching for his connection to her, desperate for her to help him but all he felt was afraid. His fear had been that whatever was going on with these bonds would continue to get crosswired and the energy from one Tucker would be close enough to that of the other so that strange things were bound to result. Understanding the purpose of the bond meant he understood it was only trying to make a strong steady connection between the mates.

Suddenly he heard T'Pol calling out to him terrified and in pain. His right arm went up and out to block the Commander's latest attack, the force catching her off guard and sending her to the opposite wall. Trip's connection was bleeding through to Commander T'Pol as he fell back into the corner and the extreme emotional distress that T'Pol was experiencing and telegraphing to her mate finally broke through and hit the Vulcan Commander.

Commander T'Pol backed away startled and breathless and Trip, holding himself up with the railing, turned inward to his and T'Pol's shared space. He found T'Pol laying on the floor writhing in pain. "Cole attacked me and I struck her. Reed saw this and has placed me in an enclosure. He keeps mumbling that he is going to ensure I learn my place and never strike out at a human again and something about...about pacifying Archer.

He yelled at Commander T'Pol. "Where is Reed's booth?" He tried to remember what Tucker had told him about it. "The one he and Phlox were working on?"

"His agony booth?" T'Pol didn't say she just restarted the lift.

"Yes. He has T'Pol in it and if he uses it on her it could kill her." And if it didn't kill her the damage to her neural pathways would be so severe that it would be beyond any hope of repair.

The Commander watched as Trip held his ribcage and reacted to pain he should not be experiencing. This was coming from his mate. "You and she are bonded?" He hadn't answered and she wondered if this were true, why did she feel so connected to him?

"Not fully but almost. We're waiting for the proper time to complete the ritual but we have completed the betrothal ceremony." Trip doubled over and his breaths were coming in fits as he kept trying to ease T'Pol's pain.

The Vulcan Commander saw the reality of what she had almost done. The added intensity of this new bond that was so similar to her own, which was now more restricted than ever, must have caused her to attempt to alleviate the pressure by melding with Trip.

The magnitude of sensations that were coming through from their bond alarmed her. Did he realize what would happen if this connection were discovered? "You cannot let anyone know of this bond. They will kill us all. You must hide your reactions. Do you understand?" The Commander began formulating a plan that did not involve taking Trip to T'Pol where his reaction to her pain would become obvious.

Trip sat down holding his arms tightly around his chest. "T'Pol and I have come up with some made up ritual as a cover. We knew it was only a matter of time before one of us was in a position where we couldn't hide it any longer, like you've managed to."

The shock registered in her expression. "You know? Does Tucker know?" she didn't need to hear his reply. That would explain his behavior of late.

"You've been tramping through our dreams since we got here and yes Tucker knows. He suspected something before we arrived and has been asking questions..." His chest was heaving from the strain being placed on him. "...and now he understands what has been going on for the last two years. Were you only trying to keep it hidden and incomplete to protect him or are you really as sadistic as Reed and just using him?" The rhythmic movement back and forth helped as did talking to her. He had to hold it together while they waited for this damn lift to get him to T'Pol.

The look in her eyes said no. She couldn't say it, rarely even let herself think about it but she was afraid of what it meant to tell him. Once he was aware, he would make demands of her and she would not be able to meet them. One of her worries was all for naught apparently. He had learned how to control the bond. Was that the difference she had been sensing? She had been convinced he was too impatient, impulsive, and volatile to ever exert the control necessary to learn much less actually use shielding techniques. Was that why he had demanded she leave him? Was that the explosion she had avoided when she complied? When he finally let it out, what would they be then? The guilt surfaced undeterred by her attempts to suppress it. Days had gone by and he had not confronted her or sought her out in person or in his dreams. That was what kept her going, those dreams. Their minds struggling to combine the wishes and desires of two completely different beings even though they could never be together without risking themselves and her people.

The lift finally stopped and opened to the deck where Reed was triumphantly beginning his test of the new booth. Phlox had righted T'Pol's body after Reed had savagely thrown her inside. Reed reached for the controls as Trip entered the room screaming that they would kill her if he did this.

Trip continued yelling. "Phlox you have to check your scans. Check her neural pathways...they'll be damaged beyond repair and she'll die." Trip was pleading with Phlox while trying to push past the MACO who was guarding the entrance to the booth.

Phlox pulled up the images on the screen above him just as Reed saw the controls indicate they had been recalibrated for a Vulcan and sent a pulse through to T'Pol. Both she and Trip screamed out in pain as they each collapsed to the floor. His body as near to her as he could get it before he lost consciousness.

"I warned you not to harm them." Archer declared loudly as he fired the phase rifle. Reed turned toward the captain and instead of being hit in the middle of his back, he was hit in the chest.

Archer moved over the Major still pointing the rifle. "I warned you." It hadn't taken Reed long to give him cause to rid himself of the threat he posed. 'You're free of him now.' Archer heard the voice tell him. "Shut up." He said it quietly but those around him questioned to whom he was talking as the man he was staring at obviously had not been speaking. Archer ignored their quizzical stares. His only concern being that the ongoing argument for and against removing Reed as a threat had just ended.

Seeing Reed crumpled up on the floor Phlox maneuvered behind an ensign to provide himself with a shield if Archer turned on him. Instead, Archer barked out orders to Tucker, who'd just arrived. "Get them to Sickbay. And Phlox I'm warning you if either of them so much as gets a splinter while in your care you will not live to regret it."

Phlox looked to the still body of the Major. "Understood, Captain." The doctor went to work monitoring their vitals signs while Tucker and the MACOs carried them to Sickbay.

"It's no longer Captain -- it's Emperor." He bellowed. Technically, as long as he was on the ship that was not true. He commanded the ship so was the designated captain and he had not been officially named Emperor. "Mayweather you've just been promoted to Head of Security; as well as; being my personal bodyguard."

Mayweather stripped the security tag off Reed's uniform and placed it on his own. He started to reach for the Major's insignia but stopped when Archer issued another order. "Sergeant, keep an eye on the doctor in Sickbay and see that nothing happens to either of them."

Disappointed Mayweather rose and angrily stuck his rifle butt in one of the MACO's back. "Go with them. Watch the doctor and make sure he doesn't harm either of them."

---

Tucker took in the surroundings and a shiver ran down his spine. He hated this place and only came inside when it was essential. The doctor had turned Sickbay into a research lab. Various specimens were splayed open on several tables where signs of dissections and experiments having taken place or that were in progress were evident. Caged specimens with scabs and open wounds covering their bodies were scattered around the room and the odor was sickening. Formaldehyde and smells he did not wish to think about seemed to block al the pores in his skin and engrained themselves in his nostrils forcing him to try and breath through his mouth. He avoided this place because he could not breathe here. He could not think here. The idea that anyone could derive pleasure from this was more than he could even fathom.

Anger and revulsion both fought for dominance in Tucker. Today there was no choice. He had to find a way to block it all out. Trip and T'Pol needed him to watch over them. Keep them safe until they were awake and could protect themselves. Phlox would not perform any procedures or administer any medication if they were awake to refuse him, unless ordered by Archer. Until then Tucker must act on their behalf. Trip had spent time teaching him techniques to relax and he'd just begun to learn to meditate but Tucker wasn't sure he could do it on his own. He counted off his breaths and tried to find that quiet place where he could let go of all the tension in his body.

"You are doing well Commander Tucker." The warmth Commander T'Pol's words had forced upon his neck startled him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He pulled away and moved to the other side of the biobed.

"The same as you I presume." The Commander moved around and stepped towards him again.

He could feel the heat from her body and between clenched teeth, he hissed at her. "Since when do you give a damn about anyone?" He was angry but he was keeping it tightly wrapped up inside.

She was about to ask him the same question but was caught off guard by his ability to resist her. She knew he knew of the bond but he'd always been susceptible to her advances in the past.

"I don't know what game you're playing but I'm not interested anymore so just go away and leave us all in peace." He spat at her while he let his anger dissipate as he concentrated on blocking her out.

Not wanting to take a chance on someone overhearing them she wished to go elsewhere. "Can we talk outside?"

He followed her outside, gritted his teeth so hard his jaw locked in place, and waited while she went about her attempts to seduce him. He supposed this was what she had done in the past. She kissed him, moved her hands around the back of his head, and slowly made her way to his face.

When the realization that he had shielded her out of his mind, so she could not initiate a meld with him, hit he spoke up. His body moved in close but never made contact as she kept stepping back until she reached the opposite bulkhead. "Listen you evil Vulcan bitch. We have nothing to talk about until you tell me everything about the last two years. And I don't mean just give me back my memories because you're going to do that but first I want you to admit everything that you've done to me. You're going to say it outloud and ask me to forgive you. Until that happens I want absolutely nothing to do with you that is not work related. Is that clear?" He turned his back on her and walked back into Sickbay to continue his vigil. He could actually feel her dismay.

Trip was right. If he practiced when he had a clear sense of his own emotions and was focused, it was easy to separate him from her. It explained so much of what he'd thought had been wrong with him for so long. He could also feel Trip and T'Pol. The nearness of both while they were unconscious with no barriers up made them hard to miss. The hours they'd spent teaching him had made their essences very familiar to him. They felt closer to him than his own family did. They certainly had shown him more caring and compassion that anyone else but Lizzie ever had. That side of him that had been buried, so long ago in order that he might survive in this world he lived in, had responded to them instantly. Once they were gone, he'd have to work at burying that part of himself once again.

"Tucker, Trip is awake." The doctor informed him.

Tucker came face to face with the doctor, forcing him to back away until his legs bumped up against a biobed. Resisting the urge to choke the life out of him, he gave voice to his disgust and rage. "It is Commander Tucker to you doctor and you had better start remembering that fact or you'll be spending time in that booth of yours." He'd let them disrespect him for far too long. Until he decided what his future plans were he would regain the stature his rank demanded. Reed had always protected Phlox and Tucker had just concerned himself with getting by so never saw a need to challenge Reed past avoiding him, even though his apathy seemed to threaten the Major somehow. With Reed gone there was a void to be filled in the chain of command and Tucker was going to do whatever he could to see that he filled that void. To allow someone else to step in and possibly become another Malcolm Reed when he was in a position to prevent it was unthinkable.

Archer had never seen the doctor cower away from Tucker before. "Nice to see you demanding some respect around here Commander. Keep it up and you just might earn mine." Archer slapped him on the back.

Archer hadn't addressed him by his rank ever. Tucker cringed at his encouragement on the inside and fought hard to keep it from showing on the outside. Fortunately, before he could make any reply, Trip spoke up.

"Where's T'Pol?" He sat up and started looking for her.

Tucker closed the distance between them. "She's behind the curtain. I had Phlox put her back there." Tucker had paid attention to everything Trip and T'Pol had told him about Vulcans and he was reading the text T'Pol had let him download into the computer off the padd she retrieved from their shuttlepod. It had been in Vulcan so he had it translated. He thought it strange that he now knew more about what it meant to be a Vulcan than most of the Vulcans he'd met did.

"Can I see her?" Trip's feet hit the floor before anyone responded.

"You appear to be fine but I don't know what happened back there so it would be better if you stayed here." Doctor Phlox tried to stop Trip's forward progress and run the scanner over him but Tucker forced his way between them and prevented the doctor from reaching Trip with a look that said back off or I'll break that arm to the doctor.

"I need to see T'Pol." Trip pulled away and continued behind the curtain. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Let me see her and then I will explain what happened." He needed to see her but he also needed time to sort out what he was going to tell them.

Phlox saw Archer approach so he pushed inside, reached for Trip again gripping his shoulder tightly, all the while voicing his objections to the captain.

"Let him go Phlox." Archer laid his hand over the doctor's and removed it while following Trip to T'Pol's bedside.

Trip took her hand in his and turned inward searching for a sign that she was in there. He could feel her in his head strong and steady but he needed the reassurance of her being with him in their shared space. _"T'Pol."_ He called out.

"_I am here."_ T'Pol answered back weakly.

He felt how cold and weak she was. The pain from the broken rib was intense and it seemed to be jabbing into her spleen. It hadn't pierced through but threatened to. _"How can I help you?"_

"_You are already doing it. I must put myself into a healing trance to allow my mind and body to heal but needed to wait until you were awake. When it is time you must awaken me."_ The strain of trying to be strong was taking its toll on her but she'd wanted to explain so he did not worry about her.

He searched through his mind seeking knowledge he didn't have. _"You don't have the strength so stop trying to hide your pain from me and tell me how I'll know it's time?"_

"_You are my mate, you will just know when it is time for me to return, and you will know what to do."_ T'Pol had never put herself in a trance before but what she'd been taught said she would know when it was necessary and if she were bonded, her mate would know when to end it.

"_I don't want to leave here, in Sickbay, alone so can you wait until I can talk them into letting me take you back to our quarters? Can you help convince them you're alright except for the broken rib?"_ He knew that might be too much for her but he wanted her safely back in their quarters.

"_I will try." _

"_I have to explain 'The Ho-rah of Tersayek'. Damn, I hope I remember what we talked about."_ He'd counted on her to explain this ritual if their situation called for it.

"_Hurry."_ T'Pol struggled to open her eyes and saw Trip standing over her. They were abruptly back in Sickbay.

Trip faced Archer. "What is it you wanted me to tell you?"

"What happened? Why did you suffer the same effects as this Vulcan?" Archer waved his hand at T'Pol.

"She and I became involved and got engaged. We serve on the same ship and the rules say that couples can't be in the same chain of command and she's the First Officer. When our Captain found out and informed Starfleet, we had to find a way to keep them from separating us. We went to Vulcan and located an old priest who knew of 'The Ho-rah of Tersayek'. We went through days of this long involved ancient ritual and at the end of it, we were connected somehow so we can't be physically separated or we'll both die. What we didn't know was that there's this side effect of feeling each other's physical pain too." He'd gotten it right or right enough anyway.

"How? You're telling me Vulcans have some sort of secret rituals?" Archer stared intently at T'Pol, you could see the questions and concern flashing through his eyes and across his face.

Trip scrambled to make it all sound less dangerous to Archer. "I don't know how it was done. It was all done in ancient Vulcan, which is hard to understand and the priest has since died so when w tried to get it undone we couldn't find anybody on Vulcan who knew anything about the ritual." He searched Archer and Phlox's faces to se if they were buying this at all.

"From what T'Pol told me most of their oldest rituals have been lost because Vulcans don't write things down and the priest that practiced them have gotten too old or have died." Trip said it all with conviction because mostly it was true. The words of the rituals were most often in ancient Vulcan and they weren't written down. The loss of hundreds of years of history had brought about the oral traditions where rituals and traditions were passed on by teaching the next generation, one Vulcan to another, all over their homeworld.

Archer turned to Tucker the fear he felt was very evident but had lessened as he listened to Trip. "We'd know if the Vulcans here were capable of such things wouldn't we?"

Tucker hadn't known of their plan and still didn't know the details of their relationship but he had to give them credit for creatively rearranging the facts. "Why worry about a ritual that only brings about their own death? If the Vulcans could have stopped the Empire they would have done it by now."

Tucker hadn't read enough of the Vulcan texts to know their entire history but he now understood they were capable of such things but they were pacifists and all their main goal was to protect their culture. They hid because they feared unleashing their own emotions or those of the Empire, which would bring about the slaughter of their entire race. He did suspect they'd fight back if Vulcan itself were attacked, but because the wars and battles were carried out in space with what the Empire believed to be a dissident group of aliens no such attacks were likely. The Terrans were smart enough to know that attacking planets opened them up to attacks on Earth and the Terran Empire had spent as little as possible on defense in the atmosphere around the planet Earth.

T'Pol stirred moaning from the pain. When Trip saw her eyes staring up at him and he knew it was time to go to work. "Look she can't sleep in here it smells and it's noisy." Trip began to take in the weird science experiments scattered around the room and his stomach turned. "She needs quiet to rest and meditate so I'd like to take her back to our quarters." Trip pulled in all the reserves he had to aid T'Pol. They would need to sit her up and make the doctor believe she was in better shape than she really was. He studied the readouts of T'Pol's vital signs. How they were going to pull this off, he didn't know. First, they had to get her upright and that was going to be extremely painful. Then she was going to have to move, which would only intensify the pain. That combined with what that pulse in the agony booth had done meant Trip had to find large reserves of strength to give her to bolster her weakened condition.

"Couldn't we just carry her?" Tucker whispered nodding to the stretcher.

Trip had considered this but dismissed the idea almost immediately. "If we do that then Phlox might insist she's too weak to leave."

She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed in one swift movement all the time holding her breath and using every thing inside herself to keep her vitals signs stable and any outward signs of pain from registering on her face. It may have been evident in other parts of her body but the doctor and Archer's gazes were locked on her eyes. Tucker appeared at her other side and took her hand in his, steadying her along with Trip. She had touched his hands while teaching him the shielding techniques and how to meditate. It made it easier for her to sense his feelings and judge when his mind was in the proper state. The dark sense of him when he made the contact did jar her system but she quickly recovered and allowed him to assist her.

Trip kept his expression as neutral as he could and concentrated on pushing all his strength into the bond. When T'Pol went to stand both men held onto her, steadying her by placing a hand at her back. Trip suddenly felt a very distinct presence in his mind. He was so focused on assisting T'Pol that his barriers were down and offered no resistance. He froze, instinctively pushing it out. Pain ripped through him forcing his attention back to T'Pol.

He heard Tucker in his mind. _"She won't let me in. Don't you fight me too. You need my help."_ T'Pol must be acting as some kind of conduit and Tucker must have improved in his ability to use the bond. Tucker had unlocked doors and let the rage and pain he kept behind them out and gathered energy from the force of his emotions. Trip felt a familiar presence then a discordant sensation and old familiar negative feelings begin flooding his mind.

"_Stop! I can't go there again. It almost killed me."_ He fought the emotions and his own memories of Lizzie, the Xindi, Sim, the expanse, his parents, and Terra Prime. All the memories that had fueled that dark side of his own nature. Am I ever going to be free of this?

Tucker's anger raged. All the emotions he'd been holding back began to seethe creating a buzz that ran through both men. With an immense amount of smugness, Tucker goaded Trip. _"We're not that different are we Trip?"_ Tucker found the same hate and rage he felt inside Trip and he ripped through his mind triumphant that this other him, who tried to act civilized and superior was no different than he was. Then he saw flashes of memory and heard the thoughts that went with them. Lizzie dying. Reptiles and insects attacking Enterprise. The young engineer Taylor. Someone who looked like Trip but was called Sim. The destruction of the weapon, the toll all this took on him and his overwhelming concern for what it was all doing to T'Pol, And on and on with all the darkness Trip had stored in that separate place in his mind.

"_STOP. Have to stop this and help T'Pol."_ Trip screamed out in his head.

His Lizzie was dead. Trip had not mentioned that to him. They may both raged at the world but for very different reasons and Tucker then saw why Trip refused to allow it to overtake his life. T'Pol. He felt so much for her and... Tucker regretted the intrusion, finally seeing what it was doing to Trip, so he pulled back. "Just take what she needs and stop thinking about all that." He went back to finding the strength Trip needed to aid T'Pol. Tucker went back to concentrating on helping T'Pol. He would not subject any being to the medical care on this ship and the Vulcan was not strong enough to withstand the twisted psyche of Phlox.

Trip pushed the memories and all the negative feelings away and concentrated on the energy flow he felt surging through him and worked to redirect it to the bond. Both men poured themselves into getting her past the doors of Sickbay. Once outside and out of sight they lifted her into Trip's arms and he took her to their quarters.

---

"When is she supposed to come out of this?" Tucker asked again after smacking the stubborn joint to loosen it. He been very subdued since the incident in Sickbay.

"I don't know. She said I'd know when it was time and what to do. That's all I know. Is Archer still giving you a hard time?" Archer had visited Engineering several times asking where T'Pol was and Tucker had said she still couldn't move around because of the broken rib. Archer wanted Phlox to check on her but Tucker had managed to convince him that she needed the quiet to meditate and get well more than she needed a doctor poking at a rib that needed to heal on its own. Commander T'Pol had been surprisingly helpful when she backed Tucker's assertion up at the staff meeting.

"I've refit your shuttle so you can detonate the bomb." The Tholians must have planned to destroy the ship once they removed all the technology from it. Tucker found a partially connected explosive device when he was climbing around trying to get the ship back together. He'd removed and hidden it from Archer and Reed. The composition of the device matched the sensor readings around the gravity well of the dead star the Tholians had used to open their rift.

"When are we supposed to head to the space station?" They had been flying around in circles while Archer came up with his plans for returning to Earth's atmosphere to claim his Empire.

"Archer won't go until he's sure we know everything about this ship. He's too paranoid to risk that. Besides he wants to know what the Thoilians are up to in case they have more advanced weapons or ships he can take from them."

"How much longer to finish rigging..." Trip stopped when he saw Commander T'Pol coming their way.

"Excuse me Commander Tucker. May I speak to you?"

That was different he thought. She referred to him by his rank and his name and politely. "What do you need, Commander?"

"Privately?"

"I told you my conditions for that." His anger wasn't gone but Tucker had worked too hard at keeping his feelings in check to let her destroy his resolve again.

Commander T'Pol sensed and saw he was serious. "I am ready to comply with your conditions."

"If that's true then we can't talk here. Meet me in my quarters at 18:00 and you better be serious about this or that's it between us." Disbelief was all he could feel. He never thought she'd agree and he wasn't convinced she wasn't up to something this time but he did notice she didn't have that same swagger she normally had so maybe she would surprise him.

"18:00 then." The Vulcan turned and walked away.

Trip came from the other side of the console. "If she's anything like my T'Pol she's serious. It takes them a long time to reconcile being Vulcan and having emotions. And it's not all sunshine and happy endings from there but it's well worth it if you really care about her."

He still wanted her to pay for what she'd done to him but some part of him refused to let go of her and those feelings she stirred in him. "How this happened in this hellhole we have for a life I'll never understand." And what exactly 'this' was he didn't understand.

Tucker's exasperation at himself and the situation he found himself in was something Trip could relate too. "I hear you. T'Pol came aboard Enterprise and dissed me with that holier than thou Vulcan crap and look at me now." Four realities put him and T'Pol together. They never stood a chance. It was a good thing he'd figured that out and just went with it a long time ago.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**Ozymandias Seeking the Light - Part 2 of 4**

"That's your Earth?"

"Afraid so. The Empire spends so much time in space, conquering new worlds, and protecting what they have, there's not much left for their subjects. You get food and a place to live. The only jobs are self-employment, except for Starfleet, and the military." He could feel the knots forming in his insides as he spoke. He half laughed then. "The first emperor sold it as Utopia. Everyone was to be taken care of. No starvation, no illness, no homelessness." Tucker watched thinking how very far away 'home' seemed as he watched the screen. "He kept his promises. But then the majority of the Empire's subjects became lazy and weak from having nothing to do except invent ways to entertain themselves or make themselves numb to fill up empty hours, days, weeks." His voice trailed off as he remembered what his life had been like until he discovered engines. There was Lizzie and endless empty weeks that turned into years until he escaped.

Sitting there next to Trip, he continued to look at the images in his little slide show. "They send you to school to learn to read and write. You can even go to college but it's all for nothing unless you have a skill the Empire needs. Unless you sign your life away for a position in Starfleet or with the MACOs to be a soldier. Few of those left on Earth try producing anything because it means having to protect it and that ends up being a full-time job."

Anger rose up as Tucker remembered all those he'd watched as a kid try to create something for themselves. "All the security people are protecting the emperor or the local minions and their property, which leaves the rest of them to fend for themselves." Tucker didn't tell him of the thousands who fled the cities and lived in encampments wherever the weather was suitable all over Earth. These people survived off the land, and if they kept to themselves they were allowed to remain free of much of the influence of the Empire. And he didn't say how often he wondered if they had the right idea.

Trip studied the screen watching what was being captured on surveillance cameras positioned all across Earth but as the images changed from place to place, he saw there was nothing unique or distinctive to distinguish one city from the other. To an outside observer these people might appear to be prosperous and thriving. The air was clean, as was the rest of the environment, and the pre-fabbed buildings were maintained. The people's clothing was decent and Tucker had said housing, re-sequenced food, and medical care was readily available. But then he studied their faces. Their eyes were pools of despair. Hollow windows to hopelessness. The scenes were interchangeable. This entire world lacked real color or originality. On the hierarchy of needs, the basic ones for survival were being met but that left most of humanity with a life that held no responsibility or meaning.

And this was what Emperor Archer wanted to rule? "I don't mean to sound insensitive but why would anyone fight and die to rule over a people who simply exist?"

"You'd have to ask those who seem to want to rule. I've never given it much thought. Had more important things like finding a way to survive to worry about." Having grown up and then leaving when Starfleet offered him the opportunity to do something with his natural affinity with engines, the young man allowed that pursuit to take over his attention. As an adult, he hadn't thought much about Earth or the Terran Empire. Instead, he'd been trying to appear loyal and keep them from stealing his youth and interjecting him life with never-ending pain and fear.

---

The chime to his quarters sounded. 17:50. He opened the door. "You're early."

She was never early and never late but her anxiety had gotten the best of her. "Is that a problem, Commander?" She answered trying to overcome the apprehension she felt being here.

"No just a surprise." He desperately chewed on the inside of his cheek trying to shock himself out of this nervousness. It had been a long day so the sooner this was done the better.

"You stated that I must tell you of the last two years?" Her control was shaky but back. What had changed so much that she found herself here? She never wanted to just go back and undo what she'd done? She started off trying to tell herself it was the bond and if she could just keep him from knowing, all would be as it should be again. She avoided these questions because the answers were of no help. The lies she told herself, the very un-Vulcan deception she had been guilty of was not only with Tucker but also with herself. Until now that, unconscious constant tug-of-war, was what had gotten her through her days.

"Yes. So how do you want to do this?" His strength was scattered from constant fits of apprehension and agitation but he stood his ground.

She would prefer to meld with him and just dump all the memories for him to pick through but he'd taken that option away from her. "Be seated and I will begin."

Tucker sat on the couch while she looked around the nearly empty room. There were no pictures or personal items anywhere. A meditation pillow was propped up in the corner with candles sitting next to it. She reached for the pillow and sat on the floor across the room from him. Meditating...where had he learned about it and was he really utilizing the practice of it somehow?

He saw the unspoken question flit through her expression and answered as if it was a normal thing for him to be doing. "I've been learning how to mediate and it's easier when I use that stuff." He'd tried to sit quiet and focus without the candle like Trip did but the flame gave him something to focus on.

She ignored his comment deciding to inquire about the purpose of his new habit later. For now, she needed to get this over with before she lost her nerve or got swallowed up in these emotions she could not suppress. "I will start with my Pon Farr..." T'Pol told him of her plan for that time and how the bond formed between them. She then went on to explain the dreams and the times she had melded with him to get him to do her bidding and again to wipe the memories away. She talked for over an hour with no emotion and he sat there quietly listening, practicing what Trip and T'Pol had been teaching him, but stunned at the extent of her deception.

"That is all." She said when she finished, trying to maintain the detached demeanor she had been presenting during this whole ordeal.

He'd begun to think she would never get to the end and wanted it over. He remained quiet as if waiting for her to say something else and finally after several minutes asked her, "Is there something else?" All he could think is he hoped not because his ability to restrain his temper would be lost if he had to withstand much more.

He'd said she must ask him to forgive her but she had hoped he had not meant it. "You wish me to apologize to you. I am sorry."

"What is it exactly that you're sorry for?" A part of him wanted nothing more than to rip into her but he wouldn't. He couldn't or he risked totally losing it.

"For deceiving you...for bonding with you...for causing you pain." For the last two years. She could see the pain she had caused him and for the first time she truly regretted her actions.

"Damn you you used me. Why? Did it ever occur to you that I might just help you if you asked?"

"Humans are not known to sympathize with other species." That was true but she never really considered the possibility.

His insides were twisting about as he clenched his fists to keep his reactions contained. "That's crap and you know it. I'm one human guy not the whole damn human race." He'd spent most of the last two years lusting after her yet she still lumped him in with the rest of his species and saw them all as cruel, untrustworthy tyrants.

"How am I to believe you?" Tucker took care of Tucker by taking care of his engines and the people who worked in Engineering. It didn't matter what he said or that she had felt those emotions from him, he cared about nothing but himself. She had chanted this mantra to herself over and over and over until it became an automatic response to whatever she might feel about him.

"I don't know. Either you do or you don't." There was nothing he could do to make her believe in him. He had no experience wanting to, which left him clueless as to what it required.

This was accomplishing nothing. "You wished me to give you all your memories back?" She made a move towards him.

"Whoa. You told me everything right?" He pushed her arm away from his face. "Of course you did because if you didn't I'd know after you meld with me again." He watched her reaction and was surprised by how much he'd felt coming through when his hand briefly touched her arm.

"I may have missed an encounter and what I recounted is from my perspective but yes I've told you everything I remember." It would serve no purpose to lie to him.

"Then we're done here. I don't want you to give them back to me. I have the flashes I thought were dreams and what you told me and that's enough." That was more than enough and with her confession, it was actually more than he'd imagined.

"Are you sure?" He had stated rather emphatically that she was to recount her misdeeds and then give him back his memories but now seemed to have altered what he expected from her.

"Our other selves told me it would be extremely painful for you to undo what you did. I'd have to be a masochist to put myself through that for memories I don't really want anyway. Don't you think?" He snapped at her clenching his teeth together to keep himself from screaming out all the pain and anger he felt at the moment.

"If that is your wish." The possibility that the Tucker she had come to know was not the real Tucker was becoming more and more haunting. Had she misjudged him on incomplete information?

He needed to be alone. His agitation was building. "It is." Then he snapped at her again with much more of a snarl. "Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"No, but we will need to discuss the bond and decide how we wish to proceed." She needed something more from him but was unable to identify what it was.

"Well, aren't we kind of stuck with it unless we both agree otherwise. And if we did that we'd need to find a way to get to Vulcan without anyone knowing and have a priest see if he can undo it. RIGHT?" The last word came out in a yell.

Surprised at his succinctness and knowledge she just said, "Yes." They might find one in one of the off-world colonies but making contact with a priest would not be easy no matter where they were and at this point, it would be dangerous to sever it anyway.

Tucker sounded as if he'd accepted their situation but he really hadn't. To do that he'd have to accept that T'Pol had feelings for him yet let him be tortured and risked his life. That she didn't find his looks to be hideous as he expected any woman would. And then he'd have to be completely honest with himself and fully accept that his own feelings really did go beyond lust. As it was his emotions and thoughts had been and were being batted back and forth like a ping-pong ball, and just when he found a rhythm that let him start to sort things out the ball slammed the surface and whizzed by him so fast he barely perceived it.

"Then we'll just have to do the best we can with things the way they are." He'd managed for two years being bonded to her and now that he knew it should be easier. "If there's nothing else I'm hungry and then I need to get some sleep. You can go." He stood and walked to the door and stood there waiting for her to leave. "GET OUT."

This was not what she'd expected but her expectations had been tested greatly in the last several days so she'd have to adjust them again. "How are we to proceed from here?"

"I'll see you in Engineering or on the bridge. We'll go on as we have been..." His volume rose..."except I do not want you invading my dreams anymore. Just stay the hell out of my head." 'Get her out of here' kept running through his thoughts. Out of my head, out of my life, just get out. He had blocked her from his mind and intended to continue but wanted her to know she was not welcomed in his head anymore. Suddenly he had no energy left. "Get out," barely made it across his lips as he watched the door close.

---

Trip finished his dinner and shower. His only form of relaxation, except mediation, with T'Pol in her trance. He slept next to her but he missed her. He imagined this was how she'd felt for all those weeks. He'd started reading the texts she'd gotten from Soval aloud in Vulcan. It kept his mind occupied and it was good practice. Half way through the second page, he felt it or heard it. He allowed the pull to move him into the next room to the bed. Staring at T'Pol he felt his breathing synchronize with hers as his fingers went to her face. The contact made, the words began repeating themselves in his head. "My mind to your mind..." Their minds came together and completely intertwined. He felt like he was inside of her and she was inside of him.

"T'Pol?" This was intense. The thought that he should wait came to him so he sat down and did just that.

After several minutes, T'Pol spoke to him. _"I am here."_

A smile broke out across his face. _"You called out to me and I just knew what to do."_ He was touching her face and then this awareness came to him that this shared space had taken on a new dimension. T'Pol had described it as a construct where perception and their senses were separate and one and became heightened because they were bonded.

"_I told you as my mate you would know what to do. You didn't believe me?"_

"_Don't give me a hard time. You didn't say I'd know how to do this and I still don't get how I do."_ It must be her feeding his mind what he needed. _"This is a mind meld isn't it?"_ He could feel her surprise at his knowing this.

"_Yes. My people must have thought if they didn't name it no one would know that all Vulcans are capable of performing them."_ She wondered how many Vulcans accidently discovered this secret of melding and continued to learn and practice once they understood.

"_Weren't you taking a big chance counting on a human being capable of performing a Vulcan mind meld?"_ He hadn't even asked if she was all right but he knew she was. He thought of the question and the answer was there.

"_Why? You are a human capable of bonding to a Vulcan; therefore; it follows that you are capable of performing whatever your mate requires. Your mind has been absorbing all the information you need to survive as a bonded mate."_ How this worked Vulcans had been studying for centuries. Some part of their brain activated when a bond was established and the functioning became instinctual, visceral. Protection of the bond and the bondmates was a natural process ensuring the continuation of the Vulcans as a species.

"_So does this mean our bond will be complete?"_ He wished to complete it but T'Pol may not.

"_If we wish it to be. But first, we need to discuss this discord between us. You are still upset at yourself and I need to understand why you did not trust me."_ He'd tried to explain it but she needed to truly understand.

"_I told you before it was me I didn't trust. My emotions were wearing me out and I didn't have enough strength to protect you and I wasn't going to risk your mental health because I let things get so bad that I broke down again." _ This whole topic still frustrated him. _"Should have known just because my human brain can handle being bonded to a Vulcan doesn't mean it can handle everything Vulcan. Trying to suppress my emotions only made it worse when you finally made me let them go. And for a while I hated you for making it hurt so much."_ Trip remembered that feeling when she ripped his barriers away and his emotions were threatening to overwhelm him. Later he knew it hadn't been her fault and she would never intentionally hurt him if it could be avoided.

She needed to make this less stressful for him. _"Would you object to my finding the answers I need on my own?" _ She felt his apprehension. When she drugged him, she had forced open all those doors he'd forced closed and he feared she would do that again. _"I will never go into those places again. I did not look at any of those memories and will not unless you give me access to them."_

"_You can go wherever you want."_ The doors were still ajar waiting until he had time to complete his new mental routines and could close them once again. He had no choice. Phlox had finally made him see that closing the doors and locking them were entirely different things. Closing them allowed them to open occasionally to let him feel the pain and hurt in smaller increments when appropriate. Locking them away as he had in the past gave them immense power over him forever. He relaxed and let her search for what it was she needed from him.

After several minutes, she was back. _"See that was painless and now I understand why you did what you did. There was no intention to hurt me. You were doing what you thought you needed to do to heal yourself and protect me. I do sense that your darker emotions are still causing you discomfort."_

"_I told you before they weren't all gone. And when Tucker helped me get you back to our quarters, he used his negative emotions because they were the strongest and easiest for_ _him to gain the strength I needed. It released some of my demons again. But I'm handling it."_ He'd just tamped them all down and would rather not have to do it again but he had no choice. He'd spent the last couple of days processing and because he'd stop fighting it, it was less acute this time around.

She could sense he wasn't pushing the feelings away anymore and was allowing his mind to process them as they came forward. _"I forgive you."_ She whispered to him. There was nothing to forgive but he needed to hear it to release his guilt, so she said it.

Something inside him released when he heard those words and his thoughts turned to completing the bond. _"It will help you if we complete the bond?" He wagged his finger in her face. "It always would have but you didn't tell me."_

"_You were not ready for a complete bond, nor was I. We needed time to adjust to each other and the demands a bond places on our minds." _ It needed to be done naturally not forced. _"Think of the difficulties we have had and also remember even two Vulcans take a year to adjust to a bond."_

"_I understand and I'm not upset but let's complete it. There's really no valid reason to wait if it can help you unless it messes with your traditions."_ She might want to wait until their marriage. _"There's something you need to know before you decide."_ He thought about the encounter with Commander T'Pol in the turbolift. _"Is there any possibility that she could complete a bond with me instead of Tucker?" _ He could sense the terrified reaction of his mate. It was equal to his own even though Commander T'Pol and Tucker were both aware of the bonds. She had thought their counterparts bond was complete but perhaps the barriers had prevented that from happening or the restrictions being placed on the connection may be causing all the accidental crossover from one bond to another.

T'Pol didn't know for sure but she took no more time to consider it. There was no way she was going to allow that to be a possibility. _"We will complete the bond. No one will be able to intrude again." _ She stood in front of Trip and turned him to face her. He felt her enter his mind more fully than before. Here she touched her two fingers to his. "_We simply need to relax all our barriers and concentrate on the bond and it will complete itself. We will speak the words at the ritual with the priest."_ During the ritual, the priest normally initiated the beginning of the final bonding process and it became official after a year unless the couple were unable to complete the bond and ended the marriage. When the priest spoke the ancient words at their wedding it would become official as the bond would already be complete.

No more voices, no more dreams. Trip let the relief pass through him as he let down all his barriers and felt T'Pol's come down. What he normally perceived as T'Pol in his mind was only a piece of her. This was the totality of who she was. The physical nature of this had been unexpected. It felt as if their bodies were intertwined when he arrived but now they felt like one body. He could identify every ache, pain, twitch, or need in their body. The connection surged for several minutes then the sensations leveled out leaving him feeling stronger with a profound sense of well-being. Then he heard T'Pol speaking to him. "_We are now fully bonded."_

"_It seems anti-climatic after all this time." But _then he realized there was a whole new set of sensations because the physical forms they saw in their minds weren't speaking as they had before but he was hearing thoughts like they were speaking.

"_There is still much to learn about our bond. You will see. We must leave here. I am still weak and it requires much to remain here."_

Trip focused on their quarters and returned to find himself laying next to T'Pol with his fingers still on her face. He took her in his arms. "I missed you." The thought of celebrating came out of nowhere and felt like his own but he knew better. He hadn't been thinking about anything but having her awake.

"We can't celebrate you're not completely well yet and I'd rather wait until we're back on Enterprise in our own quarters." This place was depressing and as much as he wanted to just be and lift his and T'Pol's mood, celebrating here was not something he wanted to do.

"What happened to that repressed Vulcan I used to know?" He felt her shields going up and still there was this intense desire calling to him. The physical connectedness and euphoria he felt in the meld was still there.

"Perhaps it has something to do with the male who bonded with me."

"So it's my fault you turned into a wanton woman? Somehow, I doubt that. It was you who seduced me that first time or have I got that wrong too?" She was feeling so much better and he was glad.

T'Pol had no answer for this so instead she kissed him leaving no doubt about how she wished to celebrate. He let down his guard and admitted he wanted this as much as she did, but not here.

Trip pulled away trying to catch his breathe. The last time she kissed him like that..."Hold on. I want you too but are you sure you're ready for this? Pain and making love don't really go together for me and what about your control?" His concern for her emotional difficulties took over.

"This will be the first test of using our completed bond to process my emotions." Then she considered the pain. "I am sure we can find a way to prevent any further injury to my ribs."

Trip had a thought. "Okay, but we have to go somewhere." This was a Constitution class ship like Lexington with holodeck technology. They just needed to find one. He could deal with being here if they could pretend they were somewhere else.

They stepped into the corridor. Trip spoke to the MACO nearest him. "Ensign, can you tell me where the nearest holodeck is?" He assumed they knew of their existence although he hadn't heard anyone talking about them.

"There's one a deck below us. But no one knows how to use it." The ensign knew of the holodecks but with Archer taking over and being focused on defending his new position little time had been invested in utilizing the new technology.

Trip ignored him, taking T'Pol's hand, heading for the turbolift. Followed closely by the MACO guards. When they arrived he reached out to open the door. Noticing the ensigns moving to follow them in he turned. "Look, there's no other way out and we really don't need any chaperones."

They both stepped back and allowed the door to close. He'd said he'd never need to take shore leave if he had access to this technology and now he needed someplace romantic and as far removed from reality as he could find. Trip accessed the menu and ordered food and tea for her while he started down the list of available simulations.

No place sounded right and he had better things to do than scan through all the choices so he designed a place. The place didn't matter only the mood. Trip constructed a room where the temperature was set at 27˚C. He requested a bearskin rug and a fire, reminding T'Pol the rug was simulated and hadn't come from a real bear. T'Pol requested he add music so he asked for light instrumental jazz to play in the background.

They laid down, started to kiss, hands started to wander, the bond flared up, and brains disengaged from thought. When he woke up plastered against her side, more satisfied than he could ever remember he rolled onto his back and smiled. For some time they had been entangled in each other's body exploring and pleasuring their mate. She had waited so long to fully experience her feelings this way that she wasted no time showing him what she had learned about him through neuro-pressure. He hadn't known she had a visual map of his body in her head that told her the spot at the base of his spine was the most sensitive and how to stretch each of his reactions and what type of reaction each touch would evoke. She reveled in the response he had to her and did not allow him to reciprocate the attention until much later. She said it was his reward for waiting for so long to fully express his feelings for her. At first he wanted to object but then he tuned into what she was feeling.

T'Pol was right they had needed this time together and to let go of all the tension they'd been holding onto. And they had managed not to reinjure her ribcage. When she let her passion go, without restraint, the frightening emotions she had struggled with were still there, but with a shift in focus and practice they worked out how to redirect them away from her mind and into the bond where their combined essences could dispel them.

He woke up and could tell she was deeply asleep but he also knew she was going to wake up hungry. He gave the computer instructions to present her with breakfast as soon as she woke up and then he wrapped himself around her and drifted back to sleep.

---

Engineering was a contradiction of moods. Trip was happy, smiling, teasing, and joking with the others. His goal for the day was to get all the engineers to laugh or at least smile. Even those he didn't know. He didn't even mind Kelby, who he'd come to believe was a horses ass in every universe.

T'Pol's entrance was marked by wide berths and avoidance of her expected foul mood after having been tortured, ill, and cooped up for days. But while she kept her face unexpressive the crew soon could sense she was relaxed and in what could be considered a good mood for a Vulcan.

Then there was Amanda Cole guarding Trip and T'Pol. Archer had gone through Reed's quarters and office and found the very last surveillance disk, which showed the incident with T'Pol and the Corporal that Reed had used as an excuse to torture the Vulcan. He called Cole and Sgt. Mayweather to his Ready Room and ordered her busted back to private, which ranked her below the crewman and just above the insects on the ship. She would be subject to the whims of every member of the crew, except the slaves, on the ship.

A MACO with any ambition hated being stuck stationed outside in the corridors watching and waiting knowing very little of note would happen. Private Cole would be guarding someone or something even if there were no legitimate need. As punishment, they'd simply assign her to watch an unused doorway. She made her displeasure known to anyone within earshot of her many comments about every little infraction of the rules she observed. From Trip's hurried acknowledgment of the officers when his arm returned to his side to quickly to the slight to Tucker's rank when anyone failed to address him as Commander or sir. Tucker would have had her removed from her assignment but his cruel streak kicked in and he decided he wanted revenge so he positioned her just inside the hatch, where if she stood at attention, as was required, his usual work area was directly in front of her. To further the torment he let her rant and simply tuned her out, and passed the word that everyone else was to act as if she was not there.

As the morning progressed Tucker ran around barking at everyone. Shouting orders and striking out at every person or component that didn't respond quick enough or in the manner he wanted. He was known to have a temper but this was over the top even for him. Everyone began avoiding him. He'd gone into his office several times for short periods and reappeared calmer but these breaks became more and more frequent.

Late into the shift, Trip went to tweak a few settings in the maintenance shaft at the far end of Engineering. Tucker came in to assist him. "We're having a problem with keeping the balance of matter/antimatter. Seems like the flow regulators are being restricted by some routine in the computer."

"Must be some safety protocol that's not operating the way it's supposed to or we have more than one problem." Trip had been tracking the flow since he'd arrived that morning but hadn't isolated the problem yet so decided to walk away for a while and let his subconscious work on it. "Are you okay? Trip watched as Tucker tried using the relaxation techniques they'd taught him.

"Hell, I don't know but if you don't wipe that smile off your face I'm going to hurt you." Tucker hadn't seen anyone smile that much for that long ever. He didn't often see anyone smile and seeing a mirror image of the Tucker he saw in his own head, that happy all day, was unnerving him. And in the mood he was in he might really haul off and hit Trip.

"Can't I have just one day of feeling really good here?" Trip continued working the circuits thinking how depressing this place was and that this was the first time he'd felt anything but that. This served to strengthen his determination to hold onto that happy feeling he woke up with.

"Something's different with you and T'Pol. I can't feel you in my head even when I try to." They disappeared the previous night and there was something in Trip's manner today that made him curious.

"It's the bond. Turns out, I had to meld with her to bring her out of that trance so we decided it was best to just let it complete itself. No more intrusive dreams or unwanted appearances in our heads." And no chance of any T'Pol but his own bonding with him. Trip stopped working and when he looked at Tucker, he realized just how much pain he was trying to hide.

"Ah so you...never mind none of my business. Glad somebody had a good night." That explained the MACO's report that the pair had spent the entre night in the holodeck.

Trip took a deep breath letting himself sink into his good mood but then his concern for Tucker surfaced again. "I thought the Commander did what you wanted and told you everything. If she's leaving you alone, what's wrong?"

"She did and I don't know what's going on. I thought it would make this easier." He rubbed at the back of his head trying to relieve the pressure there.

Trip hadn't seen much of the Commander so she was staying away and she hadn't been in his dreams since they'd taught Tucker how to block her out. She must have caught on and stopped before Tucker confronted her. With his and T'Pol's bond being inaccessible, he didn't understand what the problem was. "Is she still making excursions into your head?"

"No, but whatever this is it's painful. I meditated for hours last night just so I can function but my head keeps throbbing no matter what I do. I slept or I thought I did but woke up feeling like I never went to bed and I can't stop thinking about her. It looks like I'm just going to have to get through minute by minute and day by day." But he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up.

"You make it sound like your trying to beat an addiction." He understood the one day at a time approach. He'd tried the same thing when he tried to walk away from T'Pol.

He hadn't thought of it that way but that was exactly what this felt like. Getting over a two-year addiction. "I guess I am and if I can just keep going eventually it will just give up and go away."

"And I thought I was the prize idiot where T'Pol was concerned." Trip hadn't mentioned the other timelines to him but now he needed to. "There's something you need to know. I've meet up with three different versions of us. The first one was on our Enterprise that had been thrown back, out of our timeline, a little over one hundred years when our ship tried to use this corridor in space. That Trip and T'Pol had gotten married and had a son Lorian, who we meet. The second one was Captain Tucker from a timeline that was in the same year but had technology and a ship just like Defiant. That Tucker and T'Pol were an engaged couple. And then there's you. And you're bonded to your T'Pol. Do you see a pattern here?"

Sweat began forming on his forehead and small ripples ran through his muscles. "So just because we're together in other timelines doesn't mean we should be together here. I can do this without her."

"And how's this one day at a time thing working out for you? You do know that the headaches are only going to get worse." Trip sputtered back at him more emphatically than he'd meant too. He hadn't considered the consequences now that the bond he shared with T'Pol had been closed off. There was no longer an outlet for the bond Tucker shared with the Commander so the discomfort and pressure would become acute and so would his explosive anger.

"Maybe we can get it back to how it was before..." Almost as an afterthought he added."...minus the dreams." He held his head trying to keep himself steady.

Trip laughed at that. "Sorry but there's no reverse. It just doesn't work that way. Our being here may have sped up the process but trust me that bond has a purpose and one way or another it will bring you two together. The only decision you have from now on is how miserable do you want to be?" Just then he heard the door to the maintenance shaft open.

"Afternoon, T'Pol. What can we do for you?" Trip knew the answer but asked the question anyway.

Tucker turned completely around to see her. "Damn you. He called you somehow, didn't he?"

He hadn't called her but she had picked up his thoughts. "No. We are concerned that you are causing yourself harm."

"I knew there must be a reason why the pain got so bad." Tucker was starting to think of the bond as another pissed off person in this screwed up triangle. The engineer suddenly understood what was wrong. There was no longer a release valve for their bond, so the excess energy had nowhere to go. It would continue to try pushing past their shields and the continued effort to prevent it would cause his head to implode.

"It was going to happen once we left so maybe it's good it happened while we're still here to help." Trip didn't know what help they could offer but he was going to try.

Tucker let loose with all the force of the frustration he was holding inside. "Stop treating me like your patient or whatever it is you're doing. You didn't cause this and you can't fix it." He couldn't either but it wasn't up to them. Where had that come from? He never cared about things like that. He was more of a go along to get along kind of guy. You lived longer. Tucker tossed his tools in Trip's direction and moved to the opening of the shaft. The agitation was building and he needed to think and he couldn't do it like this. "There's not enough room in here for all of us. You two finish this." He dropped down to the floor, closed the door, and left them alone.

Trip smiled at T'Pol. "He'll figure it out eventually. I tried to help but if we push he'll fight back harder and we need him thinking as clearly as possible." Their plan or Tucker's plan actually was proceeding but they needed him to get out of here and if Trip was right, they only had a week or so left before Starfleet declared them MIA and ordered Enterprise to seal that hole the Tholians ripped open. That is if the Tholians hadn't already sealed it themselves.

When they came back to Engineering, it was to an argument between Ensign Biggs and Lt. Kelby. Fists were flying and Commander T'Pol had just stepped through the hatch. Great, Tucker thought. I don't need this today and now what do I do? In the past Reed would have swooped in and taken the loser for punishment and when they returned Tucker would have listened to their apology and sent them back to work. Not wanting Mayweather to gather too much power, as Reed had, meant Tucker had to administer all his own discipline, Starfleet style. He'd never had a liking for being cruel just to be cruel but Starfleet demanded their officers be ruthless and not show any weakness. He continued to stand there watching the two fight, waiting for a victor. Biggs had Kelby pinned under him pounding his face and upper chest.

Mayweather entered, moving to intercede but Tucker threw his arm across his chest and snapped at him. "Let them finish, Sergeant. You can leave, I'll deal with them."

Since when did Tucker deal with anything? Reed had always dealt with the crew as head of security. He started to say something but Tucker spoke again first.

"This is my department. I outrank you and I'm ordering you out of here NOW. Unless I comm you for assistance your services are not required. Is that understood?" Tucker didn't wait for his answer.

Mayweather appealed to Commander T'Pol non-verbally. The First Officer didn't even consider Mayweather's position, she was not going to countermand Tucker's order. "You heard the Commander. Engineering is his responsibility."

Tucker didn't say anything, instead he just angrily directed the MACO out of Engineering.

Kelby was now semi-conscious and bleeding on the floor with Biggs standing over him. Trip reached down and removed Kelby's insignia handing it to Biggs. "Lt. Biggs. You take over Kelby's crew. Ensign Kelby you report to Sickbay and once you're cleared for duty you report to Lt. Biggs." Tucker watched as the implications of what he'd done sank in.

"You can't...put me under him." Kelby spit out.

"I have no objection to anyone moving up the food chain but if you're going to interrupt my work you'd better be damned sure it's worth my time." It wouldn't stop the power plays but it might make them think a little longer before they initiated one. He turned to two ensigns, pointing at Kelby. "Get him out of here and somebody clean up my floor." The startled crew moved to comply.

On his way up, Tucker grabbed the back of Kelby's collar and whipped his head back to whisper in his ear. "You better make this work because if he decides to kill you I won't interfere." His hand moved up the back of Kelby's head and shoved him forward hard enough that the two ensigns holding him up almost lost their grip on him. Biggs wouldn't kill him unless he became a problem simply because they were already short staffed and Biggs wasn't going to add to his own workload.

Letting that go he turned to see what the First Officer wanted so he could get her out of Engineering and back on the Bridge. "Commander T'Pol what can we do for you today?" Seeing her reminded him of his pounding head.

"Could we step into your office?" She was almost to the door already.

"Sure go ahead." He followed her in.

"Commander Tucker, I require your assistance if you are willing."

Commander Tucker and she was asking not ordering. "Since you're being so nice I assume this is not a duty request?"

T'Pol kept trying to convince herself this was a mistake. She couldn't trust him. Then again, he was making an effort to be an officer and take charge and although he was extremely angry he hadn't been anymore abrasive than normal and taken his anger out on her or anyone else like she thought he would. "You did suggest that had I asked for your assistance in the past you would have considered my request."

He made a circle around his desk forcing the pain down. Why had he said that? He'd guessed that she was operating in some kind of underground or resistance movement for the Vulcans. Did he really want to get involved? "I did, didn't I?" If she was going to trust him...wait. Trust? How could he trust her? Why would he after what she's done? And did he really want her to trust him? The words were out of his mouth before he'd even considered the answers. "Okay, what do you need my help with?"

"Several aliens aboard require medical attention but none of them have confidence in Phlox, so arrangements have been made for supplies to be delivered to treat them. Such shipments used to be made to other ships and then transferred to Enterprise. Now they must be made directly to Defiant and we need someone to receive those shipments. I would like them to come to you in Engineering. I also wish for you to give me the security codes for all the access points on Defiant." Archer was paranoid and had not given her complete access to the ship.

"So not only are you working with the Vulcans you're working with the other species as well?" His laugh was almost manic as the thought of how deep he was already down this particular rabbit hole registered.

"You have considered this?" T'Pol had wanted to avoid this larger discussion until she had a better idea of where his loyalties lay but she should have known he would figure it out and ask questions.

She must really think he was stupid. "After our little truth session I figured out there must be a group of Vulcans working with you but if you're getting supplies for the others they most likely are part of your little rebellion. And now you need someone to receive your shipments and you need the security codes for Defiant just like you did on Enterprise only this time you're asking me instead of ripping them out of my head."

If he'd given this more thought before he would have known she was up to something. Her insistence that she'd used him to prevent Archer from getting his hands on Defiant because it was her duty to aid Forrest in reclaiming command of Enterprise sounded hollow when she said it. The man had inspired loyalty from many, oddly enough that also included Hoshi Sato, and he had promoted and protected T'Pol but aliens did their jobs to survive or get ahead, just like most of the humans did. Most had no allegiance outside of themselves.

"It is not a little rebellion." In fact, it was as large a contingent of soldiers as each world could afford to assign without raising the suspicions of the Empire. "And yes I do need your assistance but I also wish for you to know of the danger because my actions put your life in jeopardy; as well as; my own." Her training said she had to keep her anger under control, but she was angry with him. Working so hard to accomplish this along with suppressing the rest of her discomfort made it difficult to sort out what was making her so upset.

Tucker let loose with a sadistic laugh then spoke with that raspy snarl in his voice. "So you can have me tortured or damn near killed but in case it happens because you get yourself killed you wanted me to know. Can't tell you how great that is." He dropped into his chair and laughed some more. "It goes along with the rest of the crappy news I'm learning about this damn bond we've got."

"Such as?"

The ambiguity of his feelings, wanting to strike out and kill her and then immediately after wanting to take her in his arms and kiss her was becoming the center of every thought he had but he directed all his attention to pushing it all away. Still convinced he could find the willpower to force his mind to let go of the need he had for her. After studying her for a moment, "You're having just as much pain as I am, aren't you?" Suddenly a sense of satisfaction overtook him as he knew she was but her Vulcan control kept it hidden. But it was putting a strain on her. "If we don't find a way to deal with this it's going to get worse and you're not going to be able to hide it much longer. Are you?"

"No." The Commander answered with defeat in her voice. She'd been using all the techniques she had learned but the pain was piercing through and would soon overpower her control. She walked across to stand in front of him and reached out her hand letting her two fingers hang in midair waiting for him to lift up his own.

He lifted his hand and touched her fingers. The sensation ran up his arm and the pain and pressure in his head instantly began to recede. "What the hell are you doing to me now?" He hollered out as he quickly dropped his shocked hand. "Leave me alone." His chair moved away from her. "I can't do this." To survive he had to be hard, focused, and clear-headed. The other Tucker, the one he'd buried when he was a very young man, the one he'd was slowly being re-introduced to must be forcibly re-entombed before they were all laid to rest with him.

"We cannot continue as we are." Vulcan training told her not to admit she had vulnerabilities but if she didn't make him understand all was lost for them both.

The pain came back much more energetically and the dry heaves came back with it. "Son-of-a-bitch what just happened?" He choked the words out.

"The touch completed another type of connection between us so the bond had served its purpose. The pain, thoughts, lack of sleep all serve to weaken us so the bond can force our barriers down and connect our minds." When he cut that connection, the bond reacted.

He retched into the basket next to his desk. Pulling himself back upright. "So it's the mother of all headaches or we have to be connected somehow? That's our only options here?"

"Yes."

"Leave it to me to make my miserable life more miserable." Way to go Tucker. You can't keep your hands to yourself and it's got to be with the only babe on board who mates and marries on the first date and only needs you around every seven years. He'd asked Trip about that and all he got was the bond was the Vulcans version of marriage and the rest was a private matter between bondmates.

"You do not need to be miserable." She didn't know what to say to him. How to get him to see that she really needed his help and didn't mean him any harm.

"I know you're a Vulcan. I know you were raised on Vulcan. You're a Starfleet science officer. You're a member of some underground. And I think you might at least like me a little but that's all I know about you... and oh I'm bonded to you forever and you only need me every seven years or so." His past hookups had been short-term with no strings and this bond of theirs did nothing to make the prospect of anything beyond that appealing. "Oh did I forget to mention that if we aren't careful we're both going to die very violent deaths. So excuse me if I'm not jumping for joy here." His outburst felt good but made his head hurt like hell.

Tucker wasn't one to think too deep about much past surviving but he had managed to admit, at least occasionally, that there was some part of him that wanted to have a connection to someone. No, not someone but her. Then there was that other part that couldn't decide what felt worse the pain and the retching sensation that started at his toes or the thought of her continuing to use him.

She took a step closer to touch the bare skin on his neck to ease the pain but he jerked away. "If you will allow me to help you and talk to me we can work this out so neither of us is in pain."

"And if we do that you're back in my head and dreams again." The touching thing worked but that was not a practical option here. Any other options were not something he was willing to consider.

She could see how terrified of that prospect he was. "If we allow the bond to remain open it may be enough to prevent any future problems."

Tucker could see she was only trying to make this better for him but her way hadn't gone according to plan so far and what he'd been told said she was being overly optimistic. "Well maybe you better do some checking with some of the other Vulcans because from what Trip and T'Pol told me that's not going to work for very long. And if they're any kind of example then we're only going to be more connected than we are now."

One day at a time or a hundred, who was he kidding? Denial wasn't going to make this go away and he may not have known what he was getting himself into and she may have taken advantage of the situation but he gave up control when he agreed to those three days with her without asking any questions. He hadn't even asked the usual questions to be certain she wouldn't get pregnant. He just assumed because she wasn't human it wasn't possible.

Ask the other Vulcans what? They had no more information about a human and Vulcan mating than she did. There was little known and nothing discussed about bonding to keep her people from being slaughtered. The Terrans would hear words like telepathy or psychic bond and there would be no questions, only fear and death.

"Come to my quarters after our shift and we'll talk. Be careful that no one sees you." He didn't want to get his hopes up that they could reach some kind of arrangement but it was worth a try. Anything was better than this and if he continued this way, he wouldn't be able to help Trip and T'Pol escape and he couldn't avoid Archer forever. Once he caught on to his condition, he'd insist Phlox look at him.

"Agreed." Before she left she let her shields down. She instantly felt her own pain lessen but his pain took its place. She tried to relieve as much as she could.

Tucker felt her efforts and fought the urge to push her away when he felt the nausea becoming less intense. "Thanks." Too his own amazement he actually meant it.

She could see the relief in his face. "Try drinking some water. I'll send some mint tea."

He lifted his head up. "Nothing's staying down very long." Once it became apparent that his stomach wasn't going to accept food, he stopped eating and drinking.

"It has to be more comfortable if there is something to expel."

She was trying to take care of him, make him feel better, but it was unexpected and felt strange. But then he became conscious of a slightly odd exhilaration which was now juxtaposed with his nausea and pain. "But won't that just make it last longer?" Whatever it was that controlled the need to vomit had gone into overdrive but eventually it had to calm down again. It had the last time.

"The control center of your brain has been over stimulated by pain not the contents of your stomach. We have eased some of the pain so you should start to feel somewhat better soon and until then it would be easier if your body was not working so hard to find something to expel."

Tucker sat there. She sounded like a medical text so maybe she knew what she's talking about? Since when does she care what's best for me? Pain, fear, isolation, and confusion were the only things he could count on in his life, but what she suggested sounded reasonable. Questions kept swirling in his already confused mind and he could find no answers. As she reached the door, he stood, walking to the sink in the small bathroom. She turned to watch as he filled the cup with water and slowly sipped the contents.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Ozymandias Seeking the Light - Part 3 of 4**

"So that's what a Tholian looks like. And I thought it was hot in the Vulcan desert." Watching the recordings of the sessions Phlox had with the Tholian left Trip knowing there was little chance of face-to-face visits if these beings required the temperature at 480 degrees Kelvin. Trip flinched as he watched the Tholians exoskeleton shatter into pieces when Phlox lowered the temperature too far. "What was that signal he...she...it sent?"

Tucker made this odd almost quizzical face. "Well according to what passes for a doctor here it's both sexes or it can switch sexes but what the determining factor is for that I really don't think we want to know. The signal was some kind of short distance distress signal, I'm sure, because a whole squadron of Tholian showed up after that. Forrest, Archer, and Reed destroyed most of them before they disappeared again."

"So are the Tholians here aggressors?" They had been aggressive, strong-arming Enterprise, trying to take what they wanted but they had not attacked without what Trip thought they'd consider justification on their part.

"No. They only seem to be interested when there's advanced technology involved and of course they defended themselves when we attacked and stole Defiant and then again when they tried to retrieve their crewman but we haven't seen them since." All they could hope was that Archer hadn't forced them to become aggressors. Defiant may be able to destroy their ships but the Tholians were very intelligent and outnumbered them. They'd tried to warn Archer that eventually the Tholians would find a way to be victorious again, but he only cared about claiming his empire.

Tucker tried to read what Trip's thoughts were as he stared at the picture of Phlox still frozen on the screen. "Reed got to him when he first got here from what they tell me. The Major had been on board a couple of years before I got here and he started from his first day cultivating the dark side of everyone he could. It wasn't difficult with some of his MACO's. The military seems to attract the most demented minds and Reed had a knack for knowing just how to tweak them to their full effectiveness."

The comments shook him from his reverie. He understood the fine line one could walk between one reality and another. If T'Pol hadn't been there for him, he could easily have sunk down that black hole in his own mind, on at least two occasions, and died or gone insane. "How are you doing?" Trip shifted uncomfortably in his seat and turned his attention to Tucker and his worries about his health and mental status.

There was still intense pain but much less than before. "Don't know how to answer that. She seems to be trying to help me but I'm not sure. The anger still takes over and then there are...I can't do some of what she's asked me to." He hadn't agreed to accept the shipments but shortly after she left his office he sent her a set of medical scanners and the other medical devices they'd found when they took over this ship. Their so-called doctor wouldn't bother to learn how to use them so he also sent her a padd with encoded copies of the specs and operating instructions, he'd found and removed from the database. And just before he sent it he added a disk with an encoded file with the security codes she'd asked for.

Tucker couldn't think about this right now because it took him to places his mind wasn't ready to accept, so he shifted his focus. "You know this new technology could be useful if we ever learn how to use it."

"Give it time you'll figure it out." Tucker was a stubborn engineer just like Trip so he knew he'd solve the problems eventually.

"Not the way Archer keeps pushing me. He wants everything working full out now even though I'm missing parts. We have replicators that can make replacement parts but we're short on raw materials. Our new re-sequencers can replicate food that taste like the real thing but they require a protein based mixture with ingredients we've never even heard of." The new cook was a young crewmen who was trying but lacked the ability to prepare more than barely edible meals. The recipe was in the computer but was of no help if the components were unknown to anyone.

"The cook's using the re-sequencers. T'Pol and I helped him figure out how to put real ingredients in and get finished meals out." It wasn't the re-sequenced protein it was designed to use but it worked and the cook was satisfied with how much easier it made his job. And the rest of the crew could use the re-sequencers in the Mess Halls once they were taught how and some system was worked out so the ingredients were available, as needed. Trip had already unsuccessfully tried to find a way to retrofit one back on Enterprise. The current re-sequencer on Enterprise produced really good-looking imitations of real food but the flavor was always a variation of re-sequenced protein. They had yet to master how to recreate the true flavor so it was used only in emergencies or for those like Dr. Phlox who had no idea what real food tasted like so it was all new, different, and acceptable to him.

"Commander Tucker where are my engines?" Archer bellowed from the doorway startling both men.

Tucker whispered to Trip. "Well that took about 3 hours longer than I expected." Archer must have spent the morning with Hoshi. She had always been one of the few things that distracted him. He testily turned to face his captain. "We're doing the best we can. It looks like we're going to have to make some adjustments to the port auxiliary sensors." The sensors they'd shorted out earlier that morning after they sabotaged the warp drive and caused it to gradually lose power.

"Then get to it. We need fully powered engines now." Tucker observed his captain trying to hide the bitterness he knew was at the back of his throat because he didn't have any idea what Tucker was doing. It didn't help that Tucker and Trip both seemed to just have to look at anything mechanical to get a basic understanding of how it operated then learned as they went. On Enterprise, Archer had a basic understanding of the warp engine because his father, Henry Archer had been the one who had taken Cochrane's warp drive and upgraded it with some of the Vulcan technology they stole when the Vulcans came to Earth. But Archer, who lacked the skill to be an engineer, was a pilot. A pilot who desperately sought ways to be seen as a better man than his father.

"It takes time to learn how to work with a new warp drive and we still don't have enough raw materials to make all the repairs." Tucker snapped at him. A team from engineering appropriated the agony booth on the premise that in order to replicate metal parts they needed metal and Reed's project had used up most of their meager supplies.

Archer had already covered this with his first officer and chief engineer. Impulse engines were working but the warp drive had been hurriedly put back together and online, became unreliable, and was likely to shut down anytime. Archer couldn't afford the weeks of travel away from Earth to the nearest planet if they had to make a supply run or risk being attacked while not at full power. "Any ideas on what you can scavenge to get these repairs done?"

Tucker appeared to be thinking but he already knew what metal he would lay claim to first. "We either find a planet to get supplies or maybe Phlox doesn't need all those cages and supplies in Sickbay? He's only using them to house and complete those twisted experiments of his and they don't really serve any purpose as far as helping this crew, do they?" Tucker wanted Phlox neutralized until they could figure out how to get him off this ship. Allowing him to continue his demented work only kept Reed's abhorrent ways and memory alive. Tucker was masterfully using Archer's paranoia to accomplish this.

"Do your people need to collect the metal or should I send Mayweather and the MACO's?" Archer could use the fact that he'd taken away Phlox's research. He'd have the carrot he needed to hold out there whenever he needed Phlox's compliance.

"We need to finish this then we'll take a crew in and take care of it. The metal needs to be sorted through." This was true but more than that Tucker wanted Phlox to know it was him that had gotten Archer to let him destroy his laboratory and he wanted to make him watch as they dismantled it and put all those creatures he'd been torturing out of their misery.

"So how long before you're finished here?"

"When we're done. The sensors are on the outer hull so we need to go for a walk but neither of us have ever used these suits they've got." Tucker flipped the suit around like he was trying to discern how it was operated but that was only an excuse for the delay. These EV suits were lighter than the ones Enterprise had and they also had small tanks on the back that neither Tucker had seen before. Trip's diving experience came in handy and in reality, it had only taken a short time to understand how it worked.

Archer was impatient. He was almost ready to head back to Earth to claim his Empire. "I take it the 'we' is the both of you?"

"It'll go faster." Getting him his warp drive back meant Archer was agreeable to anything if they were careful and made it sound plausible. He and Trip needed half an hour to rig up their switches to disrupt power and bypass sensors when they sedated the entire ship and took over to take over Defiant, locate the hole the Tholians had created, and send Trip and T'Pol back home.

"Just get it done and get my engines back online." Archer walked away muttering to himself, under his breath.

---

Tucker sat trying but failing to meditate. His thoughts were too erratic and this rhythmic tapping was the latest of the interruptions that broke his concentration. The noise was overhead but he couldn't discern from where exactly until the ceiling tiles moved. Moving the desk chair he stood up and pushed the tiles upward where he found Commander T'Pol.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"It was you who warned that no one should observe me coming to your quarters, was it not?" She dropped down to the chair he'd vacated.

"Yeah, but I don't remember saying you should crawl around up there." He looked up again. "What made you think of that anyway?"

"The other T'Pol suggested it might be an acceptable way to move about the ship undetected. Seems she and Trip have found it necessary to do so in their own ship."

Why would anyone have found it acceptable to crawl around the small shafts on Enterprise? "You've been talking to the other T'Pol?" He wondered what the pair could have had to talk about.

"I offered her my apology for interfering in their bond and asked for some advice."

"Advice about what?"

"About many topics. There is much that is different between our worlds and much that is the same." She was evasive because she didn't want to tell him she had hoped for a better understanding of the bond and Tucker himself but found asking about the man was more difficult than she anticipated. Having no experience with a mate left her not knowing what questions to ask and being Vulcan most of what she could think of was far too intimate for a Vulcan to consider appropriate. She'd ended up relying on the other T'Pol volunteering information she thought would be helpful.

That was the worst evasion he'd ever heard but she'd managed to tell him absolutely nothing. After the last couple of days he didn't have the wherewith all to fight with her so he concentrated on what she had in her hands. "Okay so you aren't going to tell me about T'Pol but you are going to tell me what you brought with you?"

"First, I brought these." She reached her hand out offering him several devices. She took one back. "This one masks your life signs and the other one duplicates them so the sensors read a presence where there is none." She took the duplicator, attached it to his arm, and turned it on so the device could read his lifesigns. When she removed it and placed it on the desk, she picked up his tricorder and showed him the readout. The tricorder showed him at the desk and where he was standing. She then attached the other device to his arm and his real lifesigns no longer appeared on his tricorder. Then he saw that hers didn't appear either.

"So who do we thank for this?" They worked like devices they'd found on the ship but they had all been collected by Reed and locked up or so he thought.

"They were created using devices found on Defiant." The replicators had produced these. He had started working out how to do that himself. Somehow, they were tied into the systems on Defiant but no one had taken the time to understand how.

She didn't have the expertise to do this so that meant there were members of her group that had serious engineering skills. He wondered if any of them worked in his department. He knew she wouldn't feel comfortable divulging anything about the members so he took a different tact. "Does this group of yours have a name?"

"We have no name just a common purpose." Why humans insisted on naming things was a mystery. Give it a name and advertise it's purpose.

She was not making this any easier by clamming up every time he asked a question. "What else did you bring?" He tried to see what was on the padd she had in her hand but he couldn't make it out.

The Commander handed it to him. "This is a plan that needs your approval before the order is given to proceed." T'Pol watched as he looked over the plan.

Pictures of Florida. Lizzie. "This...this is my sister's house. That's Lizzie." His finger pointed to her image as he stuttered out the words and tried to keep the fear on the inside from registering on his face. "Who the hell has been watching her and why is somebody watching her?" He hadn't seen or spoken to her since he joined Starfleet.

"She is important to you and I assumed if she were placed in danger due to your connection to me it would make it difficult for you so I devised a plan to have her taken to Xindus to keep her safe." She pulled out the information on the planet and handed it back to him.

He dropped hard into the chair never taking his eyes off the plan in his hands. How did she know? He never spoke of her. Never. It was the only way to keep her safe. The pain jabbed at his chest. The one thing he could not fail at and he'd let someone get close enough ... If anyone found out how much she meant to him they'd have something to use against him. Lizzie had always been the one person alive he'd willingly give up his own life for. It suddenly became clear why his tension level had been building, nagging at him, pulling at the back of his mind since he'd learned of the bond and more so after T'Pol asked for his help.

"So if I'll help you, you'll protect my sister?" He'd already done several things for her and now she had him so she was offering this to ensure his continued assistance? The anger hit hard and he could feel the bile in his stomach starting to backup into his esophagus.

His assumption startled her, but then she thought why should it? You've done little to make it possible for him to do anything more than assume the worst of you? "There are no conditions. She is important to you; therefore; she must be protected and this is the best way to ensure that."

"Wait a minute. You're telling me that you and this group of yours are willing to kidnap her and take her to this planet and keep her safe just because she's my sister and I don't have to help you in return?" He rubbed at his stomach trying to release the knots forming there.

"She is important to you and that makes her important to me, so yes."

Tucker needed time to calm himself and sort this out so he studied the information on the planet. "Tell me more about this Xindus." He'd heard of a new species that was out there in some part of space known as the expanse but the Terran Empire kept news such as that quiet. But it still sounded familiar to him.

"It is the homeworld to a species known as the Xindi. They consist of six different sub-species..." She showed him the images of the six species. "...and they have offered whatever we require to build our numbers and our strength to take back our worlds from the Terran Empire. The threat of the Terran Empire along with the recent treaty between the Klingons and Romulans concerned the Xindi enough that they feared for their own future. They see it as self-preservation to work with us."

Then out of nowhere came Trip's memories. Once his terror at what he remembered settled a bit he explained what he'd seen in his alternates mind. "You're sure there are no spheres in this expanse and the Xindi are not plotting against Earth and she'll be safe there?"

He could sense the tension building and his body overheating from the build up of anger but could do nothing to prevent it as he was overwhelmed with sensations leaving him with nothing to center himself. Emotions hammering at him, turning on him. Slowly at first but now confusion swirled through everything. He suffered from the lack of sleep, pain, and so many thoughts and dreams had been haunting his every waking hour until he was worn out from the effort it took just to think. It all became too much for his human brain. His head laid on the desk, his face turned toward the wall. His mind silently screaming for it to stop and trying to focus on anything to halt the cyclone ripping through his mind. Breathing like they'd recently taught him to center himself, calm himself, but no relief came. Only more disorientation. All he knew was this connection to T'Pol had brought him nothing but a lack of control and pain and that he didn't know what to do.

He fought to lift his head and turn to her. "Why? Make it stop." He didn't understand what was happening to him or why.

As his hold on the inner workings of his cognitive processes vanished the Vulcan stood observing having no idea how to help him. Her own emotions were severely threatening her control as it was and lending him support would only weaken her further but she couldn't watch him like this. Moving closer her hand moved of it's own accord and touched the back of his head. She didn't need to see his face to feel the fear and exhaustion emanating from within him as he tried to even out his breathing and find calm. She stared at his hand as it reached up behind him and overlapped her own hand as her fingers raked up and down through his hair.

Tucker woke lying on a bed. Unsure where he was, but he knew he wasn't alone. That hand that was grasped tightly against his chest could only belong to one person. He opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to the side, finding her sitting on the floor with her head resting on the bed with her other arm wrapped around it. He pulled himself to his side and watched her sleep, wondering how and when he'd gotten from the chair to here and why she'd chosen to stay here like that, not having joined him on the bed.

Releasing her hand had been a mistake. The contact was broken and the spinning current in his mind took over leaving him unable to form a coherent thought. His hand immediately sought out the contact once again. The sensation and pain stopped causing him to recognize that this was exactly how he felt whenever he drank too much. But instead of hanging his arm and leg over the side of the bed to add weight and force so his alcohol soaked brain could redirect the swirling in the opposite direction, making the motion stop so he could pass out, he'd clung to T'Pol. T'Pol added much more weight to ground him but the activity of his brain was that much more intense and required it. He had to stop this. Analyzing how it was he tricked his brain into letting him think solved nothing and he needed to solve this. It was impossible to hide their secret if he had to walk around in physical contact with her in order to function. Archer was already suspicious of them after meeting their alternate selves and would be watching them closely to be sure they were not close or connected in any way.

And he had to protect Lizzie. No choice, but kidnapping her had terrified him when he read through the plan she laid out. Even if he didn't help her, they were bonded and Trip had been right. He had to deal with the consequences of his actions just as T'Pol did. She'd come clean and seemed to be trying to make it up to him but he still didn't quite trust that. He wanted to but didn't know how. She'd ask to meld with him again at some point last night after she'd ask him to let his shields down. Said it was the only way to stop this from continuing to happen. She needed to remove the shields she had placed in his mind so they could allow the flow of the bond to open up the way it was intended. There was no choice here either, but once he allowed that, there was no going back. Not that there really was now but, at least, it let him pretend and gave him some sort of protection from reality.

Focusing his mind, he let one barrier down and let the newness of it all flow through him. Once he felt comfortable he let down another and another until they were all down. The emotions and thoughts were no longer just his and it took several minutes for him to slow it all down enough to see them clearly. T'Pol had each of her emotions in a category and separated. He looked at each one but couldn't make sense out of any of them. His understanding was that Vulcans didn't feel their emotions, they suppressed them without thought or association. But T'Pol had these emotions she couldn't suppress or had chosen not to. His best guess was that being unfamiliar with them she didn't know how or what to do to deal with them. It was like a puzzle as he tried to match them up the way a human mind would. He stopped when it became clear he would have to examine them closely to continue and he didn't want to invade her privacy even though she had done so to him. He'd never trusted anyone and wasn't sure how to go about it but he did know it was going to have to work both ways. She'd have to learn to trust him if he was going to learn to trust her. He felt her eyes staring at him and turned to meet their gaze.

"Morning." He thought it was morning as he searched the desk for the display that would tell him the time. "I'm not going to ask if you slept well because I don't think anyone could laying like that but thanks for letting me sleep." He'd needed the rest, which must be why she had stayed.

"You're welcome." She caught the surprised look on his face at her response. She had never been one to use amenities so they must sound strange to him. She started to remove her hand but he stopped her. "You are still experiencing difficulty?"

"I let go earlier and my brain went tilt." Went along with the rest of his world being off it's axis.

She gave him a perplexed look then concentrated on their connection. Then it hit her. Tucker was in her mind. He'd let down his own shields and let her in. The shock of it surprised her because it should have been the first thing she noticed having not had a strong bond present in her mind in many years. "You've removed your shields. If you leave them down I can assist you."

"Yeah I remembered what you tried to tell me." He didn't remember when exactly that was last night but he did remember parts of the conversation. "You said something about melding and getting rid of the shields you placed in my head. It better help stop whatever is going on with me." This had been the reason he'd invited her to come see him last night but things went to hell before they had a chance to talk and settle this.

"You have worked around many of them but if I remove them it will make the bond stronger and will remove more of the discomfort we have been experiencing. "The bond was fully formed but had not been allowed to function as a complete bond so would require time to establish a full forced connection.

She didn't look away as his gaze intensified. It felt like he was trying to see inside her, to determine if he could trust her. "You will be aware of my presence and you will remember. I am no longer able to enter your mind without your knowledge and you are capable of preventing me from doing anything you do not wish me to do." This wasn't totally true but at this point anything she did against his will he would be aware of and it would only serve to threaten the progress they were making. Apprehension seemed to be flowing both ways between them. Outwardly, they were still acting as if they were just fellow officers on this ship but inwardly they were forging a completely new relationship that each was unsure of.

"Yes."

"Yes you will meld with me?" She tried to read his emotions but they were complex and the ones that were most influential seemed to change quickly.

"Yes." He dropped his body over onto his back having resigned himself to the only path open to either one of them.

T'Pol calmed herself and reached out to touch his face. He jumped when her fingertips made contact with his skin but remained there. He turned his eyes to look at her as he felt her enter his mind and repeated the words back to her..."My mind to your mind...My thoughts to your thoughts...Our minds are one."

T'Pol moved around feeling the intensity of rage, anger, frustration, and confusion swirling like a whirlpool in his mind. These were feelings they needed to do something about but that was not her purpose here today so she proceeded to remove his uncertainty and remove the barriers.

He felt her there and once he eased his resistance, the pressure was gone, he felt her moving around, and the shields he hadn't known were there came down. He felt relief and found it strange that his mind reacted to the removal of something it hadn't even perceived was there before. Then he felt memories coming to life but they weren't his; they were hers. "What are these?"

"They are the memories that I blocked from you. They are my memories of what I told you before. If you do not wish to have them I will take them away."

He began watching them. Her being assigned to him. He hadn't known he was an assignment but then he felt the pull she'd felt toward him and knew it had strengthened from what she'd felt when they first met. Her decision about her Pon Farr as she saw it brought up his own memories of those days. Then there was a night she used his attraction to her to get him to her quarters only to get him to change some codes so she could access the cargo bays and supplies. When he'd returned they talked. He quickly went through several of the memories and discovered they had talked many nights but he'd never remembered that. They had conversations about growing up, life on Earth and Vulcan, and Lizzie. They spent hours together kissing and talking, but except for her Pon Farr and the dreams, it had never gone farther than that.

He continued to explore and came to a memory that was only hers. When the accident took place in engineering that had caused the injury to his face. He waited to see if she wanted him to stop but when she didn't react or say anything he went on. He saw her sneaking into Sickbay to check on him because she couldn't let anyone know she was concerned about him. She watched from the hatch when he returned to duty, conscious of his scars, dreading the reaction of the rest of the crew. His own memories of these events came forth and then a shockwave hit as he remembered this all happened before her Pon Farr. Next he felt how it had affected her when he ran toward the cloaking device. He saw her react when the device exploded sending him flying across engineering. She'd had to really work to appear unaffected and almost will her feet to stay planted where they were signaling for the crewman to assist him and she thought he'd been seriously injured. She was standing in the shadows when he returned to engineering after his session with Reed in the booth. The turmoil playing across her face and inside as she tried to bury her reactions to the pain her deception had caused him.

He looked around them and understood that here they could see themselves in physical form because that's what their mind found easiest but that was not what they were truly experiencing. His hand went to his face. "This really doesn't matter to you?"

Had she wished, she could see him without the scar in this place but it was still there. "Vulcans choose mates based on their internal life. The bond is spiritual and forms between those who are able to share their katras. We were attracted to one another and our katras or 'souls' wished to be together."

She took a step closer to him and touched the area around his eye. "You will need reconstructive surgery to remove this tissue so you again have a full range of vision but this has no bearing on our relationship." He needed his full vision and she wanted to see the brilliance of both his blue eyes again.

He felt the release as some elastic-like part of himself that had been being stretched too tight, finally snap. "But I feel almost as twisted up inside as my face is. What's attractive about that?" He let her see the entire range of negative emotions that drove him.

She returned the favor. She may be Vulcan but she was just as angry and twisted up inside as he was.

"Aren't Vulcans supposed to suppress their emotions? You have a lot floating around in there." He understood they were both damaged and lived within and were driven from some pretty dark places in their inner worlds.

"It takes an immense amount of effort to keep them under control and many hours of meditation. Suppressing them is one way to control them but we are not able to suppress them all. We are taught not to allow our emotions to determine our actions. That can be difficult for a Vulcan in this universe because our true nature is already violent and destructive." Fortunately, there was little else to do so meditation filled her off hours.

He could relate to not being able to keep his anger under control but here he felt warm and protected. Safe in a way he'd never felt before. "So now what? You already know this but the only person I'm close to is Lizzie and she's my sister. I have no friends and zero experience with women other than for sex." This was the first time he'd woken up with a woman still in his room. "And I've spent most of my adult life despising...hating everyone, and everything but my work."

If she were human, she would have laughed when he asked her how to proceed. "Vulcans do not have friends, we only associate with those we work with. Our mates are chosen in childhood and we form bonds after we marry so I have no experience either. And my work was chosen for me. The only thing I've chosen is to work with the resistance and that was out of necessity not desire." She had spent the last two years aware of their bond, but that offered her no practical experience with relationships. She'd tolerated Captain Forrest because he trusted her and therefore protected her. The only other person she had any kind of relationship with was crewman Soval and that was professional.

He'd caught both the slight humor she felt and what she'd said. Necessity not desire. Did she really desire him...want him...or was it the self-indulgent sexual lust he kept trying to convince himself was all he felt towards her. He remembered saying he loved her during those lust filled days they'd spent together but he didn't know what that really meant beyond just words. He supposed he loved his parents just because that's what kids did. They loved the people who created and raised them. And he loved his sister, Lizzie. She was a few years younger than he and when she arrived she was the first thing he cared about without conditions. She was bubbly and happy and as she grew that feeling grew too. He made sure no one hurt her and that she had whatever she wanted or needed. He didn't leave home until she'd gotten old enough to look out for herself and told him just that. And once he left he'd buried her alongside a part of himself to keep them both safe. "So why exactly did we decide to bond? Wouldn't it have made more sense for you to be with someone who had a clue about how to be your mate?"

"I do not know how to answer that as I have no frame of reference for the question. I do not understand what factors went into this bond but I assume it has something to do with these needs and emotions we do not wish to admit exist."

The other T'Pol had said it was in the nature of Vulcans to be honest and direct. This Vulcan was for once being direct. "We're talking about you take care of me and I take care of you, aren't we?" He'd sensed this from her before and he knew she meant more than that but he wasn't quite ready to accept that.

She did not want to push or add to the fear she could already sense from him so she proceeded with caution. "I suggest we let our bond stabilize, continue to work together, and then we can decide what to do next." Maybe she could find her center again. Her logic and rationality had become less than optimal and she needed to re-ground herself in her discipline now that she didn't need to expend so much energy maintaining their bond on her own.

"We really have to work at keeping this bond hidden. I'm going to need your help with that. Trip and T'Pol have been teaching me to be calm and relax but it doesn't always work." Lately when his temper got the upper hand the bond seemed to take on a life of its own and he was lost.

"Most of the other Vulcans lack training and will not recognize it. Crewman Soval was raised on Vulcan and may sense it unless we both make an effort to shield it in his presence. Just behave as you always have and no one will know." Soval had stated that he hadn't known for sure that Trip and T'Pol were bonded when they first arrived but it had become obvious after observing them for several days.

Not convinced that he knew what that meant he still tried to project a confidence he didn't feel. "Okay, business as usual. Let's get back to the real world so I can look over those plans again. I want you to have them get Lizzie. I'll need to talk to her as soon as possible once she's safe." He reached out and touched her cheek just before they left their minds and returned to his quarters.

This time when she removed her hand the sensations were only mildly uncomfortable but he quickly recovered. "I hope this worked and I don't have to meditate so much." The meditation helped but when he lost control as he had again last night he really wondered what would have happened if he hadn't meditated.

"How often do you meditate?" She'd known he meditated but assumed it was infrequently. Being human he should be able to handle his emotions much better than a Vulcan could without meditation.

"Four or five hours a night lately. It's great for helping me relax but not when it takes up all my free time so I can just get through the day without killing someone. I've missed my time in the rec room and Trip said he'd teach me how to start using the holodeck." He needed to workout to keep in shape, which helped him stay alive. He'd actually been looking forward to the holodecks for himself and to teach others how to use them. Any kind of escape from real life for a while would be welcomed.

"I have to go. We are on duty in an hour. I will let them know to go ahead with the plan. It should only take a few days for them to set up some scenario that will explain her disappearance. Did you decide if there's anything you wish to do so your parents do not think she is dead?"

This was part of their discussion last night. He'd been so out of it that only disjointed fragments popped into his head when a familiar topic came up. "Nothing we can do. My parents are loyal to the Empire and if they knew anything they'd turn us all in. The fewer people who know the fewer risks that we will be discovered." A small part of him ached at the thought because they were his parents but he'd parted ways with their beliefs and years ago and he'd protect Lizzie at all cost. No use thinking about it, it served no purpose. His parents had made their choices just as he'd made his. They all had to live with the fallout.

"When are you planning to take over the ship?" She asked matter-of-factly.

The straightforward way she asked and the apparent acceptance of it as reality caught him off guard. Being an open book to another person was going to take some getting used to. "What exactly do you know about what I'm planning?"

"I do not know details...." That would have meant prying deep into his mind. "...but others have observed certain activities and brought it to my attention. Is there anything you require to accomplish your goal of getting Trip and T'Pol back to their own time?"

Someone must have noticed that they were not always where the log said they were or maybe some of the engineering types had noticed that the problems they'd been experiencing with the engines were not due to malfunctions. "So you know what we've been doing. Is that why you gave me the devices to trick the sensors?"

"Not entirely. They will be useful for many reasons but you do need to hide your activities better. You are fortunate that no humans have taken notice and that the first officer has a vested interest in keeping your activities from coming to the attention of our Captain." Major Reed was no longer here but there were others who would benefit if they were to discover what Tucker was up to. The first officer had instructed others to be watchful and make sure the plan was not discovered.

"I wasn't planning on involving you." He wished to avoid the I do a favor for you, you do a favor for me dynamic between them.

"I understand but I may be able to offer some assistance." The Commander had no idea how well he planned or how well any plans he made would work but she would do whatever was required to ensure he was successful and wasn't caught.

"Come to my office this afternoon after I've had a chance to talk to Trip and T'Pol. This affects them so I need to let them have a say in who we ask for help."

The Commander stood at the door. "Didn't you say you didn't have friends?"

"Yes I did." Tucker had learned early on to never allow himself to get close enough to anyone to be friends.

"I believe you may have been in error unless I misunderstand such relationships."

She might be right, he might be friends with their alternate selves but it would be a short-lived relationship as they hoped to be going home soon. "Not sure it counts when they're only around for weeks and you won't ever see them again."

She didn't think that mattered and she hoped he would think about it and come to the same conclusion. "I'll see you later, Tucker." She said as she left.

His hand lingered on the closed door. "See you later, T'Pol," he whispered and headed to get cleaned up.

---

Days had gone by with no word. Tucker paced until the image appeared on the small screen. "Lizzie, are you okay? They didn't hurt you did they?" His anxiety in the hours since he'd told them to proceed with their plan had been long and excruciating. No food, no sleep - due to nightmares, and the constant of having to pretend nothing was amiss had worn him out.

"No. I can take care of myself." Her eyes were focused on his face.

He hadn't thought much about his scar lately but now it seemed to almost hurt. "They kidnapped you and you're telling me you can take care of yourself?" He gave a half-hearted laugh at her bravado. "Are you okay with this?" There was something in her eyes. She was upset with him.

She avoided a direct answer. "I wish you had told me what you were up to and I wish we didn't have to let Mom and Dad think I'm dead, but I understand. Sovaen here explained everything to me." She motioned toward the Vulcan standing behind her.

The seconds were ticking of on the upper corner of the screen. "I can't talk any longer or we'll risk this being picked up on sensors. I just needed to check to be sure you were okay. Be in touch soon. Just do what they say and stay safe."

"You stay safe too." The screen went black. No 'I love you'. She'd always said that instead of goodbye in the past.

Trip and T'Pol moved around from the other side of his desk where they had remained out of sight, to avoid confusing Lizzie Tucker. "Good to see you two are close." Trip was a little choked up at seeing his alternate sister alive and well.

"I'm sorry I forgot all about your Lizzie." Tucker could see the affect seeing and hearing her had had on Trip. Tucker himself was shaking. Exhaustion was giving way to anger.

He'd told Commander T'Pol to go ahead to keep his sister safe. He swore to protect her but that feeling in the pit of his stomach hadn't gone away. And now seeing her increased his concern. And then there was those glimpses of darkness he's seen in Lizzie's eyes. She looked much older than she was. What had happened to her in the years he'd been away? He had been running from thinking about the many possible outcomes. Was she still the Lizzie he knew or had the years of constant battering at her, by their parents, worn her down?

The small display screen shattered against the wall as Tucker headed for the door. Trip caught him just before he stepped out. "Somehow I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go out there like this. Wouldn't want to ruin the big bad-ass thing you have going." Since Reed's death, the crew was off balance where Tucker was concerned and seeing him angry and almost tearful would only make him seem weak in their eyes.

"You haven't slept since this started have you?" Trip didn't need an answer because he knew how keyed up he'd be if it were his sister. Trip touched his shoulder and could feel the tension in his body and realized that he was barely holding it together.

Tucker stopped, turning around to return to his desk. He had to slow his thinking down and seriously consider the plan that had been trying to formulate in his head since this newest nightmare, about Lizzie being captured and tortured to get information about him or from him, began. That fear led to other fears and kept him awake trying to find a way to prevent it all. What if they hadn't covered Lizzie's disappearance as well as they thought they did? How long would it be before this bond was discovered? If the nightmares didn't wake him up the dreams of taking T'Pol during her Pon Farr did. He forced the words out in an attempt to redirect his thoughts. "Everything is ready for your trip home, right?" He became mindful of the necessity of examining options for himself and T'Pol.

Both Trip and T'Pol turned to him. The tenseness in his voice said something was wrong. "Yeah. I don't think we missed anything." Their shuttle was ready and the diversions and sedative were all ready in place around Defiant. Trip and T'Pol had concocted the sedative from T'Pol's memory of what their Dr. Phlox had used on Enterprise and they inserted canisters in the ventilation system throughout the ship that could be opened when they were ready. The diversions were set up to keep everyone focused on some system malfunctions until the sedative had time to reach everyone.

Tucker's long strides back and forth across the room relieved some of his tension but increased Trip's. Tucker had known that Lizzie was trying to be positive but he saw the terror in her eyes. She hadn't said anything, most likely not wanting to question her big brother's actions, but she wasn't happy about what he'd done. There hadn't been time to really talk and she wouldn't air their disagreements over a sub-space frequency.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to Commander T'Pol but I thought we might leave here in Avenger right after we get you two back home." There he'd said it outloud. When he agreed to the Commander's plan to get Lizzie to safety some part of him knew it was only a matter of time before they'd have to escape. "There's just too much risk if we stay and the crew's going to be unconscious anyway, so it's seems like as good a time as any."

Commander T'Pol had spoken to T'Pol and filled her in on the resistance group she was part of. "If you and the other species are to fight the Terrans why would you leave them with such an advantage? If you are going to claim a ship, would it not make more sense to leave them on Avenger and for you to take Defiant?"

Trip smiled. "She has a point. It gives you more firepower and if you duplicate the technology on this ship or use it as the blueprint for more ships you have a better chance of winning."

Tucker continued his desperate attempt to focus. "Why didn't I think of that?" Because your brain is mush and you've been too preoccupied with rigging the ship to get Trip and T'Pol home, with the bond, with Lizzie. He felt so vulnerable on all fronts.

"When will males admit that females always have better ideas?" Against what was normal for her T'Pol shot the remark out before thinking.

Trip flinched. "Ouch, that's a little harsh. We have been a little preoccupied trying to get us home." Trip closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, smiling. That definitely had to come from T'Pol's own unique sense of humor.

"You cannot make this decision without consulting with Commander T'Pol and the others." T'Pol knew they would want to be part of this decision.

About the same time, Tucker realized she was on her way they heard the commotion outside. Commander T'Pol storming into Engineering demanding some explanation for some sensors readings that were incorrect and the crew having none of her demanded answers promptly directed her to Commander Tucker's office. She entered in an apparent temper and slammed the door behind her. Trip could sense Tucker's distress and slid right into the whole little scene and made a loud and angry exit, with T'Pol in tow, out into the main engineering area leaving the First Officer with Tucker.

Tucker paced. Discussing having to make another life-altering decision and this playacting for his crew did nothing to distract him. The turmoil in each combined making his insides boil up again and left his control way beyond shattered.

He grabbed for the Commander pushing her roughly against the wall. That overwhelming drive to take her swept through his mind leaving nothing in it's wake. His need for relief was immediate. One hand held her while the other worked at moving clothing out of his way. Their shared dreams played through his mind. Pressing her head roughly against the wall his mouth came down hard on hers. He tasted the blood when the inside of his lip split open but he did not let up.

The bond flared but the contemptibility of his actions flooded through his mind breaking through the anger and confusion. He backed off enough to see her face clearly. His fist hit the wall then he turned his body and slide down to the floor, pounding his head backwards, then finally dropping it into his hands. When he looked up T'Pol had adjusted her clothing and moved to stand directly on front of him. He banged his head back hard against the wall. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He couldn't shut it out. He had no control at all. The anger, rage, frustration he wanted it all gone but he was only able to divert it into his need for her.

"This would not give the relief you sought?" She had thought he was going to have sex with her and when he stopped she didn't know why.

He looked up at her. There was no sign of anger in her manner and he could feel nothing out of sorts in the bond. "No it wouldn't." His laugh had a bitter edge to it.

"You find this humorous?"

She stood ramrod straight, hands behind her back. "Not exactly but you're standing there like you're at attention or something. Why aren't you ripping my head off?" His mind tried wrapping itself around her non-reaction and all he got were thoughts that she hadn't resisted his kiss or the attempt to use her to make himself feel better.

"Why would I wish to 'rip your head off?" She relaxed her stance then moved to sit next to him on the floor.

"I treated you like a..." Explaining that would only make it worse. Worse for him or her he wasn't sure, but worse. He started to apologize but the feelings coming through from her were nothing like anger. Instead, here she was sitting calmly, almost serenely next to him on the floor. So he reached for her hand, shook his head, and laughed again.

She was confused, as she was no longer standing over him like a soldier at ease. "You still find humor?"

"You went from the professional at attention you to the completely at ease accepting you just like that. It would be nice if there was a you somewhere in the middle?" He closed his eyes and took in her calm trying to use it to find his own center. She hadn't tried to stop him or said no. This all felt normal, right to her.

"I do not understand." And she didn't. He didn't want her to be the professional officer with him but neither did he want her to be relaxed and calm in his presence. He seemed to be upset with her and himself.

He didn't understand anymore than she did. Tucker opened his eyes, turned his head towards her, and searched deep into her eyes. "This is really the blind leading the blind here isn't it." He continued the thought to himself. I'm asking a Vulcan who hasn't ever experienced these emotions and has no clue what to do with them, in fact she's placed them all neatly into individual little compartments so she'll never be able to figure them out...I'm asking her to understand and help me deal with my emotions. This is what you get for falling for the only female within light years of you whose inner life is as much of a train wreck as yours is.

"Why will I not figure them out if I separate my emotions?" The rest of his thoughts weren't as clear but she was beginning to think maybe he was right and they were both damaged and unable to help each other.

He looked down at their hands clasped together. "Okay look, emotions sometimes come one feeling at a time or there's one that demands all your attention but most of the time events or people bring on several feelings all at once. And to really understand you have to look at them all together." He might as well come clean and get this over with. "I wouldn't have felt the relief I thought I would before because with that need to have you comes a whole bunch of other feelings. I've been trying to convince myself it's not true but...I told you before...I really should know by now that whatever I set out to do where you're concerned comes out totally opposite of what I planned."

The Commander listened to his rambling thoughts. She hadn't done any better than he had with her plans for or with him. They had all gone much differently than what she had intended. "So what are we to do?"

"Well, first if I ever come at you like I just did knock me on my ass..." Physically she could but judging by her reaction that wasn't going to happen. "...or if you can't bring yourself to do that at least get my attention long enough to remind me if I can't make love with you I'm free to go take care of relieving my stress on my own."

He could see her continued confusion. "Making love isn't supposed to be a solo act so you need to remind me you have needs too." He was so in unfamiliar territory here and she was just as bad.

"I am unaccustomed to human males. I have only been instructed about Vulcans during Pon Farr." Her training and experience both said the only need then was to rid oneself of the blood fever.

She'd told him about that. Mostly he remembered her saying if she didn't satisfy it she would die. "I remember and that's fine during Pon Farr but that's not normally the way things are done. We need to talk some more about all this but this isn't really the time or place so I'll come to your quarters tonight and we can finish this then." He stood up and adjusted his clothing then reached down to help her up. He kissed her hand. "Are you okay?"

"I will do as you ask even though I do not understand why." Now that he knew of the bond, why did he want her to continue denying it's influence?

This was not something he was comfortable talking about but he'd started this so he was going to have to find some level of comfort and soon. "Just do what I ask okay?" He hoped she'd drop it at least for now.

To help that along he went on to another problem they needed to solve. "I seem to be having a bit of trouble keeping my temper under control still. I thought that meld was supposed to help with that." Expression of ones more aggressive emotions was encouraged, actually expected. But he'd learned how to keep them under wraps because it meant staying alive. He had to get control before he lost it at the wrong time or place.

"Perhaps the barriers and my manipulation of your mind have caused injury to your neural pathways. A Vulcan mind would have tolerated such treatment but you are not Vulcan and your mind has not been trained since birth. I will discuss this with the other T'Pol. She has more knowledge of human's physiology than I and may be able to offer some suggestions."

Tucker wasn't thrilled at her response but realized it was the best she had to offer for now and that she would do what was necessary to correct this. He hoped that the solution wasn't going to take a lot of time, as they didn't have much left. "We need to discuss our plans for the future, as in I think we need to leave here when Trip and T'Pol do." His pulse rate jumped and his hands were moist. "We're not or at least I'm not going to be able to hide this bond if we stay here. It's just too dangerous for you...me. So my idea was to take Avenger but then the other T'Pol said she thought it was a better idea to leave Archer with Avenger and for us to take Defiant." Her blank face sent waves of panic through him but he plunged ahead anyway. "What do you think?"

She searched through his thoughts. Most centered on a dark, oppressive fear of being discovered by Archer or whomever was in charge. "That is a much better idea. But where do you wish to go?"

"We could join the resistance." He could sense her agreement so he continued working out the plan in his head.

"If we take all the aliens, we should have enough of a crew to get to Xindus with Defiant." She offered.

"Wait a minute. We take all the aliens but Phlox." Personally, he would prefer to push the doctor out the airlock but he knew he wouldn't so the best he could do was leave him, the only alien on a ship full of really pissed off humans. "You need to let our new crew know and then work out keeping them all from being affected by the sedative Trip will be releasing in the ventilation system. And then we need to work out how to transport the rest of the crew to Avenger once they're all unconscious. We have a mask for you already but there's not enough for all of them. And we have less than a day to make this work." A little over a third of the crew were not human. He only hoped that was enough time.

A/N: I'm going to be moving for the next little while so writing/publishing will be on hold for at least two weeks so I can get packed, moved, and unpacked. I have up to chapter 35 written but they all need polishing so it may be longer than usual for an update, but it will get done. Thanks for all the comments and please give me any constructive suggestions you have to improve my writing. I think it's improving but I'm just a bit too close to know if that's true or not.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Ozymandias Seeking the Light - Part 4 of 4**

How was it that he had survived in this hellhole, learned to deal with his superiors and constant threats to his life by projecting an arrogant confidence even when he didn't feel it, moving beyond his fear and finding some real confidence to plan their escape, but now all he could do was stand here shaking at the thought of talking to one woman. The turmoil and slight tremors were reverberating throughout his body making any chance of rational thought nearly impossible. He wasn't just scared he was terrified. Five-year-old, alone in the dark, with fresh images of nightmares playing through his head, terrified. What exactly did he want here? Sex? A mate? That word sounded strange but according to Vulcan culture and what he could feel from T'Pol she already saw him as her mate. Why the hell didn't I just walk away like I always do? His hand reached over to engage the chime but stopped, his forehead leaning into the door, his hands shaking.

The door opened to her hand coming up to meet his chest to prevent his falling forward. "Tucker, are you coming in?" She asked gently.

Feeling her hand, he didn't reply but moved to enter her quarters, still unsure what came next. Standing there frozen in place waiting for something, someone to tell him the next step. How had he allowed this...her to cause him such turmoil and direct his actions? That wicked little voice he no longer believed was relentless in trying to warn him toward caution. Until death do you part took on a whole new meaning with a Vulcan bond. Without intervention from a Vulcan doctor or priest he'd most likely part when she did if somehow he failed to protect her. It was all an unknown even for Vulcan couples but he was not a Vulcan and there was no data on bonds with aliens. Vulcan physiology was all about ensuring the future of the species and Tucker had finally come to understand that T'Pol hadn't really meant to harm him she simply cared about him and did the best she could to handle the fallout from emotions and consequences she was ill-prepared for.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Yes...no...maybe...hell I don't know," came out in a flurry and with a touch of anger. Tucker felt his knees start to buckle and quickly shifted his weight to let himself fall back against the door and slide down to the floor.

All day. You've had all day to think about coming here to talk to her like you said you would and that's the best you can come up with. He'd let his mind focus on Trip and T'Pol and taking over Defiant. Anything but her and what...he felt...what he wanted.

"What is wrong? Is there a problem with your plans?" T'Pol knew they'd been busy all day making sure everything was ready for tomorrow.

"No it's not...no problems. It's..." His eyes locked into hers and he was stuck. He couldn't go back, wouldn't even if he could, but neither could he go forward. He simply didn't know how. Trip had suggested he couldn't move forward as long as he kept looking back and in order to do that he needed to put one foot in front of the other and move. That's what he'd done but now he was here and as lost as ever as to what the next step was. "I don't know how to..."

He didn't finish his reply so she had to ask. "To what?" T'Pol could feel the intensity of the disarray in his mental state but had no clear picture of what was causing it.

"Be...just be." With you. To feel. To not...feel only cold and angry. Let the warmth and comfort that came with just thinking of her permeate throughout his mind and body. Forget who he was, who he had become, if only for a moment.

"Have I done something to make you fear me...?" All was right earlier and now he seemed to be in a tug of war with himself as to whether or not he wanted to be here.

Fear? Was he afraid? Pride should make him reluctant to admit it but Starfleet had started on day one instilling fear in all their recruits so it had become normal, natural. Yes he was afraid. Of her. Of these feelings. Of the past, but mostly it was the future he feared. He hated her, hated himself, wanted her, and when he could get past all those defenses he had in place he could almost admit he might more than want her, but then what? There was a big blank screen in front of him. He'd never had friends and most certainly not a girlfriend. Starfleet discouraged any close relationships. They were distracting and tended to divide ones loyalties. And judging by his present state they were right.

You got stressed you found a willing female to alleviate that stress, re-focused on your duty, and moved on. No strings, no ties to anyone, no real emotions. Just anger, hate, dominance, and power. Distrust. And his engines. Engineering. That's what was supposed to be the focus of his life. That's what they had prepared him for and that's what had been for so long, but some part of him had already given up on all of that. Made an unconscious choice years ago. Then reinforced it when he let her explain herself, and again when he let Lizzie be kidnapped away from Earth. No reverse. That's what Trip had told him. He could only go forward, but how?

"I'm sorry but can we just sit here and not talk?" He opened his arms inviting her to join him on the floor. Sleep I really need sleep became the most prevalent thought in his head. Haven't gotten much of that lately and maybe if I stay right here I can relax for a while.

"I think we might be more comfortable on the bed. We can lay down and you can close your eyes and rest as long as you need to." T'Pol could feel how tired he was. How much turmoil he was in both physically and emotionally. Her emotions were less tumultuous but if his emotions continued like this, the bond would become unstable again and the pain they'd experienced earlier would return with renewed intensity.

"We need to talk but I really can't right now. Trip and T'Pol, you, Lizzie, mutiny. Too much to think about, worry about." He couldn't keep putting this off but the change in plans meant undoing much of what they had already done and reworking every detail in hours. The inside of his eyelids stung but he didn't want to open them. The sensation would go away if he just left them closed.

"Why have you taken this all on yourself? There are others to help you." He'd gone from not caring about anything but himself to making it his sole responsibility to get everyone safely away from the Terran Empire.

"Hate it here but never thought different...never thought I could have...thought I'd always be alone but..." His hands lifted up off the floor slightly. "...shaking...can't think...it hurts...I really want...I really want..." His words stopped, this being the first time in days he'd truly let go and gave in to the exhaustion that kept his thoughts from coming together.

He was making some sense but his internal thoughts were disjointed, disconnected. "You sleep and we'll talk later." She tried snuggling her backside in close to him and told herself to relax but he moved her slightly forward and crawled away from the door.

He took her hand in his as he advanced across the floor pulling her along with him up into the bed. "Thanks." He kissed her hand. "You sleep too." His breathing became regular and shallow as he drifted into a deep sleep. She again snuggled in close and closed her eyes letting his slowly developing sense of peace wash over her.

---

"Hoshi where are those readings?" Captain Archer yelled across the Command Center.

"Captain, stop yelling. It's not helping anyone find the answers any faster." Erika Hernandez said in her most booming captain's voice as she joined Archer at the console he had been studying for an hour now.

Startled Archer immediately turned to her. "Any word from Becker yet?" Archer was desperate to know if the engineer had assured Starfleet that there were no viable options to close that hole.

"Lt. Becker and Lt. Reed are right. Short of using several atomic bombs we don't have anything powerful enough to close it and we have no way of getting the payload in the proper position."

While the nuclear bombs would most likely work, they'd also release deadly radiation, which would be disseminated throughout the various universes the rift had accessed. According to the readouts, there was life near enough in several of the realities to bring about millions of deaths. Erika was right when she pointed out that the other obvious problem was how to get enough explosives inside the interspatial rip at the precise point necessary to cause the space to collapse into itself and seal the seams.

Archer knew Starfleet considered Becker their next best hands-on engineer because he had been trained by Trip but Becker was the first to point out he was not Trip Tucker and while he had benefited from his tutelage that did not mean he'd gained all the practical experience the engineer had from his years in space. Last time it was Trip and T'Pol that successfully closed one of these rifts. They hadn't written down instructions and Enterprise and its crew didn't have Lexington assisting on the other side this time around. "Gardner will be calling anytime expecting some miracle answer and I don't have one. They have all those geniuses back at Starfleet shouldn't they be coming up with something?"

"In theory yes, but I doubt they've had much call to seal up tears in space. And it's not like they can test those theories on Earth." Columbia's Captain laughed slightly trying to lighten the mood somewhat but the look on Jon's face said she hadn't been successful. Archer was working on too little sleep with too much fear of never seeing Trip and T'Pol again. He knew they'd both be trying to get back but the longer they were gone the less likely it was they'd be coming back.

She got close enough to whisper. "Once you talk to Gardner come to your quarters. I'll be waiting." She knew how guilty he felt at having let things get so distant between himself and Trip over the years. Being a captain herself she understood the inherent problems of maintaining a personal relationship while being ones superior, especially in such close quarters. She also understood that some of the qualities that allowed Jonathon Archer to be a Starfleet captain also made him less successful at being a friend. Some qualities that should come naturally to a good captain or good friend didn't come easily to Archer. It all took a very special effort on his part. Maybe if he'd been allowed to grow and mature into his position instead of being forced to learn on the job in such difficult circumstances, it might have come easier to him but he'd done the best job he knew how to do.

Archer finally made it to his quarters to find Erika waiting for him with dinner. "Drink this." She offered the glass to him.

"Trying to get me drunk?" Archer downed the contents.

"If I thought it would help I would be." She had considered the idea of just getting him to pass out and sleep but decided the best she could hope for was getting enough food and drink into his system so his exhausted body would finally give him no choice but to collapse.

"I'm fine." He poured himself another drink.

"Yeah we can all see how fine you are. You can't keep pushing yourself like this. You're not helping Trip this way."

"I have to find them. He's my best friend and I've messed that up and I have to make it up to him." Archer sat on the bed.

Hernandez had been observing the crew the last several days trying to figure out what it was about Trip Tucker that had this crew willing to do whatever it took to find him. Even her crew was pushing themselves and most of them had started out hating the man. "I know he's your friend but you're the Captain of Enterprise and you have a whole crew to worry about."

"I'm aware of my responsibilities as captain." He bitterly answered back. Duty always came first. That's what he signed up for and he'd let it come between himself and Trip but this time it wasn't duty that had come between them. It was his stubborn refusal to accept that Trip was a full-grown man and capable of making his own decisions about his life and who he spent it with. After watching T'Pol stand by Trip all these weeks, he saw that their bond wasn't a hindrance to them. He'd seen it as invasive, restrictive, and constraining. They saw it as evidence of their strong feelings for one another.

"You need to rest." No use arguing now. It would only serve to keep him awake.

"Stay with me?" He reached out to her.

"Only if you promise to sleep."

"I'll sleep but first I have other things on my mind. You didn't have any other plans this evening did you?"

She let him pull her down onto the bed. "If I did I'm sure you can make me forget whatever they might have been."

Jonathon Archer kissed her soundly then. "Let's see if we can both forget for a little while."

---

She was still asleep snuggled up to him with her head tucked into his side and he liked it. He closed his eyes again and began running his fingers through the long strands of hair. The sleep helped. His thoughts were still just as confused but now he could look at each situation individually instead of the massive tangle they'd been earlier.

He reached inside touching memories and emotions that he'd buried long ago. Walking Lizzie to school. sitting behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist teaching her to tie her shoes. Encouraging her imagination by sitting through her parties and play with friends only she could see until he thought he'd go insane pretending to sip invisible drink or watch doll fashion and puppet shows. Lizzie beating up the kid who kept attacking him. She'd made him promise not to be a brute, as she put it, so when he wouldn't hit him back himself Lizzie did it for him. He saw himself standing there with his mouth hanging open when she declared being a girl made it acceptable for her to beat him up. The memories had been unlocked and the numbness that had invaded that part of his brain was fading away, being replaced by a tingly sensation.

She was awake now but hadn't moved or opened her eyes. "A guy could really get used to this. The only time I seem to get any real sleep is when you're with me." She tightened her grip on his arms and pulled in closer.

She almost said he was welcomed anytime but that seemed redundant as he was in her bed by her invitation. "You do not sleep when you are anxious or upset?" He was wound up so tightly.

"If I can get my mind to slow down so I can sleep I have nightmares that wake me up."

"You said I needed to ask you to forgive me but I never did. I'd liked to ask you now." T'Pol opened her eyes and stared into his chest.

"I did say that, didn't I?" He should have known better. There was no way he would have been able to just let go of two years just because she apologized and asked him to that night. He could feel her remorse and her disappointment.

His reluctance came through but she accepted it. "I will wait."

What exactly she was going to wait on he didn't know but he didn't want to ask her. There were already too many open questions between them. How did she feel about him? About them? Her being Vulcan meant she might never verbalize that. But then again he was human and he couldn't think about it much less verbalize it. Had she decided to go with him or was it the other way around? And did it really matter as long as they were going together? At first, he'd thought she had turned his world upside down but then it dawned on him that come morning they were both going to be thrown into free-fall unsure of what lay ahead and where they might land. They were taking Defiant to Xindus. He hoped to be working on the reverse engineering of more ships using the technology on Defiant but they weren't assured of anything once they fled the Terran Empire.

He felt her lips on his. First tentative then more forceful. He returned the kiss and when she backed off to breathe he asked, "Are you sure about this?" He'd come here to talk. To find some understanding between them that would allow them to move forward. Get unstuck. T'Pol had other plans. She didn't need to talk, she was already moving forward.

"Yes. You are tense and this will alleviate some of your stress. Stop thinking for a time." The other T'Pol told her this behavior was normal and expected by humans but Tucker seemed hesitant.

He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and pushed her back so she could see his face. "I thought I told you before this isn't supposed to be about stress reduction. Not that sometimes that's not okay. And I don't even know what this is about right now or is supposed to be about but there has to be something..." He couldn't define it. He couldn't explain it. He was only aware that if all he wanted was sex there were other very willing and able women available whenever he wanted. But as much as he may have wanted it, tried to make it happen, his mind and body no longer responded to that or them.

She ran through the dreams he had been having since their time together. "You do not wish me to..."

He didn't wait for her to finish. "Forget about whatever it was they taught you about sex with a Vulcan mate and Pon Farr. I'm not a damned Vulcan and..." He saw the flashes of his dreams. "That's it."

"That is what you think about and what is discussed about males in the database." She played these images in her mind several times trying to blend them with their time together and the more sensual less impatient of his dreams.

"Those are...well, those are really x-rated Pon Farr sex dreams but that's..." He started laughing. "That's not ... that's what a lot of guys fantasize about when they're alone and...I'm so out of my depth here." The physical sensation of drowning forced him to push the images away so he could search for some balance. Other flashes pushed past his barriers in a rapid succession of images. If these were part of those three days, he didn't remember. And whatever thoughts he'd had about stopping this never got past his lips.

T'Pol went back to kissing him. His hands were making their way under her shirt and hers were working their way south. Sensations began bombarding him. Overwhelming him, bringing on an adolescent case of nerves.

He pulled away choking on the gasping breaths of air that were not making it to his lungs. 'Damn I wasn't this bad the first time I ever did this,' he laughed to himself. At this moment, he was all thumbs. Had no idea what he was doing. The undercurrents of anger were still there and he couldn't think but knew it was all happening too fast.

"We have done this before. There is no need to be nervous." She tried to identify the churning emotions but found herself with the dilemma of not understanding anything about what he was feeling. One of the complications of being involved with an emotional, undisciplined human.

They'd had three days of out of control no holds barred sex in the middle of Pon Farr but this was different, but he didn't know what the difference was. He had no doubts that he was the first male she'd ever been with so she didn't know anything and while he'd rarely left a sexual partner unsatisfied, it was only because he sympathized with what it felt like to be all worked up and left high and dry, not because he gave a damn about them.

The memories of their time together were flooding his mind. "No we haven't." He snapped as he realized he needed to slow her down and that he needed to speed things up, find some middle ground or they were both going to be unsatisfied. His anger rose up and heightened his fear of letting go. Lack of experience with all these emotions was hard enough without her confusion invading his mind, adding to the chaos.

His shields went up blocking out the bond confusing her more. She could sense his need for simple, uncomplicated sex even though he stated he wanted something more. The duality of this need for connection and release confounded her. When instructed about Pon Farr they only spoke of the drive to mate. The need for completion. There was no mention of needs or sex outside this time. She hadn't even made it to training in neuro-pressure before the Terrans rescued her from the escape pod, when the Seleya was destroyed, and forced her into service with Starfleet.

Maybe if she followed her own advice and stopped thinking so much and just reached out to him this all would be easier. Her lips met his again. After several minutes, she felt his hands take hers and place them on his chest. Her hands began kneading his flesh and the tautness lessened and his breathing evened out, becoming less forced. Slowly she felt herself being drawn into him as he let go. They melted into the swirl of sensations where the only thought was how wonderful it felt to finally have this tingling replace their immense sadness. And the loneliness that was so ingrained inside both began to feel unnatural.

---

Tucker tightened the last connection then heard someone tripping over the tool chest on the way into the landing bay. He ducked behind the now empty storage bins that'd held the components to the bomb he had just finished wiring into the control panel of the probe attached to the hull of the shuttlepod. He'd left the final hookups until the last moment to prevent an accidental activation of either the probe or the explosives.

"Come on out Tucker I know you're in here, not in Engineering. Was it you who modified the sensors?" Archer hissed watching the intermittent signal, verifying Tucker's presence in the bay, on the tricorder in his hand.

They'd have to see what he'd used to breakthrough and find his bio-signs. "Didn't modify anything. And what did you do to that tricorder...?" The question was cut off when Archer hit his comm badge and called for Mayweather and security.

"You will never succeed, you have to know that. You're such a pathetic excuse for a man...it's a good thing you're such a gifted engineer." The ever-confident Archer lost his train of thought for a second when he saw the shadow of the weapon in Tucker's hand and had to move farther away.

"And exactly what is it you think I'm trying to succeed at?" Tucker reached around and under his shirt trying to locate the comm unit Commander T'Pol had hidden there, opening a channel to the others. Someone nearby would hopefully come to assist him soon. Being an engineer was what was keeping him from firing his phaser in such close proximity to the tri-cobalt bomb.

"Getting the other Tucker and T'Pol off this ship and back through that hole. Back to their own universe." Archer sneered at him, moving around to redirect the path of the energy burst from his weapon just in case he missed. He saw the probe attached to the outer hull of the shuttlepod with what he assumed was an explosive of some type. No use risking blowing them all sky-high. "You didn't really think I wouldn't notice you were up to something did you?"

"Well, yeah we actually did." Archer was tensing then relaxing his hands as if he needed to tell them to obey him, while Tucker was silently berating himself for assuming Archer had been focused on claiming his empire and Hoshi. They'd thought he might have caught wind that Hoshi was courting Mayweather or that Reed's video collection had so many hours devoted to her activities that he'd be preoccupied and taking full advantage of her before her plans came to fruition.

Tucker watched with fascination as Archer carried on a quiet conversation with what he could only assume was himself. Some sort of disagreement it seemed but he couldn't be sure. "Don't mean to interrupt but anything I can contribute to the argument?" It may not be wise to point out how insane he was but it was necessary to keep him off-balance.

The darkness in Archer's eyes and the intensity of the scowl on his face said how enraged he was. "We? You and that Vulcan bitch of a first officer are together aren't you?" Archer had observed them during staff meetings, watched the recordings Reed had, and while there was never any overt actions toward one another, he did notice a slight shift in their interactions recently.

"Two years now." Tucker said it with a small sense of pride but he didn't know why he'd said two years except that the length of time of her deception was stamped in his head. Maybe the exaggeration would wound Archer's self-centered ego, and make him angry enough to make him careless. For the first time Tucker let his feelings for her wash over him and discovered they no longer held any relevant amount of anger, and they weren't guarded, and they didn't feel as foreign as they had just days ago.

"So Hoshi was right that bitch has seduced you into her bed and convinced you to betray me." Archer spat out with bitterness.

"Be careful. Your ego's getting the better of you. That sounds more like your bitch. Hoshi Sato seduces or tries to seduce every male she sees as capable of advancing her position." Archer had to know of her newest conquest. From what he'd seen and been told Sato hadn't been overly discreet about her latest liaison and the engineer could only imagine what plots she had been devising with Archer's personal bodyguard. "You really do have a high opinion of yourself and this empire. In order for me to betray you I'd have had to have been loyal to you in the first place." Tucker never truly gave his allegiance to Archer or anyone else in the Empire. He recited the loyalty oath to whomever was in charge, as required, but they hadn't earned his respect and certainly not his allegiance so he saw no reason to honor an oath he had not freely given.

He knew something he'd said must have hit a nerve when the phaser blast caught him in the upper part of his right arm. His own phaser reflexively fired then fell to the floor as he dove and rolled behind the shuttle. "You owe your life to your Emperor." Archer yelled insistently.

Tucker checked his wound, wrapping the rag in his pocket around it, tightening it like a tourniquet to stop the bleeding. He pushed the pain away and focused on keeping the captain talking. He let out a maniacal laugh. "You as the Emperor what a joke. What have you done to earn anyone's loyalty? You want this empire? What the hell good does it do you if you're going to be stuck on this ship?" Trip had been right. Being emperor wasn't anything to aspire to. The empire may have begun as the ideal world but that world never truly existed. The ideal had been perverted by greedy men and their lust for power. And it came out with venom when he spoke. "Why would anybody be willing to give up their life for someone who only wished to break them until they submit? You're a selfish, egotistical bastard." The rational side of his brain kept telling him to keep the captain talking but to stop pushing him so far that he'd charge at him blindly firing his phaser.

Sounds of phaser fire registered but he couldn't tell if it was outside the bay or inside his head and coming through the bond from decks away. Tucker caught the movement behind Archer, and then felt her presence in the bond. When he felt her near he stuck his head out and quickly let his eyes shoot past Archer.

Archer's head started to turn but quickly came back around to face Tucker, who was reaching for the phaser laying nearby to reinforce Archer's false belief that Tucker was trying to deceive him. "Nice try..."

His words trailed off as his body slumped down to the floor. Tucker stood. "What the hell was that?"

"The V'Shan."

"The what?"

"Vulcan nerve pinch." She gave a slight shrug before removing the weapon from Archer's hand. "He constantly reminded me not to forget I am a Vulcan like it was something that I should be ashamed of. It's unfortunate that he is not awake to appreciate the irony that my remembering I am Vulcan is what rendered him unconscious." She resisted the urge to kick the dormant human. "That and his short-sightedness in only considering what Reed's ambitions might be before promoting me."

With a handful of his uniform Tucker pulled the unmoving Archer upwards and held him there. Anger and contempt burned through him. After a short time, he released his hand letting Archer fall to the ground, reached his hand upward touching his fingertips under her chin lifting it up so her eyes met his. "Damn, he's out cold." He stared into her eyes. "You really need to teach me how to do that." His head nodding towards the unconscious captain.

Her Vulcan upbringing said she should have reacted to his touch in this open area but he was her mate and they were making progress so she had to force her body to remain still so as not to insult him by pulling away. "I will be sure to add it to the ever growing list of skills you need to learn."

Not wanting to know what she was talking about but still feeling the need to defend himself he responded. "I know how to take care of myself." He had gone through Starfleet's training program.

The Vulcan grabbed the front of his uniform and bounced him back against the shuttle causing him to wince with pain. "You carry the wounds of a soldier but you're an engineer. You will be trained and you will not allow yourself to be shot again."

"Sorry, didn't know you cared." He responded sharply trying to hide the truth. The beginning of knowing she cared was there he simply was not equipped to know what to do with the information.

"I do not care, I simply do not wish to risk dying because you were distracted and untrained." She snapped back at him with a controlled fury.

He could feel the concern whether she admitted it or not but he also felt the anger. She was right and even if she wasn't this was not the time to challenge her. "I know I should have been paying attention. It won't happen again."

"No it will not." Commander T'Pol found it easier to retreat behind the fierce emotions.

He recognized her defense. He'd gone there several times to the familiar, what was normal, avoiding this new reality. But he'd discovered earlier that anger was not the prevalent feeling associated with her any longer. Oh, she could fire him up easy enough. His emotions exploding like a flare that quickly extinguished itself and with no effort at all the affection and wanting took over. He retched the tricorder from Archer's hand for later inspection, then finished by tying him up and dragging him by the feet into the corridor, where he found T'Pol pacing back and forth between two unconscious MACOs, also awaiting transport to Avenger.

His body took the same step towards her his mind already had. "Later. We'll discuss it later." Get back on track he told himself. You have to leave the rest of this until there's no one trying to kill us. "I'm done here and need to head to engineering. We have less than 20 minutes before Trip starts setting off timers. The canisters will begin opening into the ventilation system 5 minutes later." Almost as an afterthought, "By the way thanks for dealing with Archer."

He heard her speaking to someone about Mayweather. Apparently, he and several of the MACOs were unconscious already.

When she finished she lightly touched his arm checking his wound. Her voice softened slightly. "You're welcome but be more careful in the future." The tension in his body released at her touch and he let himself go with it until the sting and hurt in his arm ceased to be important. He snapped back to reality when the sound of boots slamming against the deck sounded in his ears. He followed her down the corridor.

He concentrated on not letting let her sense his pleasure but it felt so good to know she was worried about him.

When they stepped through the hatch, he felt this strange sensation and when he lifted his head and was able to focus, he saw he was on the bridge. As were Trip and both T'Pol's. "What happened?"

"I think we're being scanned." Commander T'Pol answered as she moved beyond the wave passing through the science station.

"By who? And where is everyone?" Tucker turned a full circle. The bridge was empty.

Trip saw the blood seeping through the rag on Tucker's arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." He replied instantly, feeling a strong sense of disapproval, looking up to find the same expression on the face of both Vulcans. "I'm fine for the moment." But he wasn't sure if he would be once this was over and his T'Pol let loose the emotions she had been working so hard to keep concealed.

Flashes of what could only be described as lightening and a variety of vibrations passed through shaking the bridge giving the occupants the feeling of being in a storm. The largest vessel any of them had ever seen filled the viewscreen. Smaller familiar looking ships moved in and out of various bays on the outside of the ship. "Tholians?" Tucker muttered when he saw the alien's image superimposed over the ship. A high frequency squeal came through the comm system causing immense pressure in their inner ears. "Tone it down a bit or you're going to rupture our eardrums." The attempt at yelling through the noise and pain barely came out but as quickly as it had started, it stopped.

They all looked up at the screen as images of the Tholian Archer and Phlox had tortured appeared. A mechanical sounding voice spoke. "We are here to retrieve the ones responsible for this." The image of the Tholians death came up.

They wanted Archer and Phlox. "What are your plans for them?"

"You are in no position to question us." The Tholian impatiently replied.

"Well maybe not but I still want to know what your plans are?" Tucker may be pushing the Tholians but he reasoned if they'd wanted to kill the entire crew they wouldn't be talking to him, would they?

The Tholian was annoyed but he responded to Tucker. "They will be punished."

Tucker thought for a moment. Punished would mean tortured like their crewman had been until their frail human bodies couldn't take anymore. He couldn't stop them, didn't want to stop them, but he took a risk in an attempt to get some answers. "Why did you bring the others here from another universe?" He indicated Trip and T'Pol.

The Tholian arms moved at an odd angle, his eyes turned dark, and the light emanating from his body decreased. "We have those who seek useful technology in all timelines but avoid interfering with any sentient beings as much as possible. When you stole the ship those that were here wished to find someone who understood the technology to take it back. Taking you would have been noticed so they brought someone with your knowledge from another time. They are now in their proper timeline and will be dealt with by their superiors."

Tucker had gotten Defiant repaired and functional so they thought he had more knowledge than he did about Defiant but it really didn't matter. "So mama bear came to retrieve her cubs." Trip interjected.

The Tholian pinned Trip with his eyes then returned to Tucker. "We were also to retrieve this ship but my superiors have ordered that we allow you to claim it. My orders are to assist in returning all to their own times and close the spatial interphases. Adjustments have been made to your calculations and the proper coordinates have been entered to ensure the explosive will do what is required." The Tholian was impatient and wanted to conclude this business and leave.

Why couldn't they have shown up earlier before Archer shot him? In fact, if they intended to assist why had they waited until now? Tucker took another chance. "Take Phlox but leave Archer."

"Why would we agree to this?" The agitated tone warned Tucker that he might be pushing this Tholian beyond his limits, which meant he needed a solid argument if they were going to agree.

"You saw the recordings. Phlox did the actual torturing and then killed your crewman." Archer deserved whatever they had planned for him but wouldn't survive regardless of what the Tholians did. "Leaving Archer here helps us. It's a toss up as to who will get to him first but he is going to die. It's a win-win for all concerned." His crew, his mistress and her new conquest, or the Emperor; all wanted him dead. Tucker caught Trip's look of horror at his suggestion and saw how much restraint it took for him not to say anything. "Look at it as repayment for messing with the timeline."

"That was the purpose of allowing you to keep this ship." The alien spoke into a device near his head. "Archer will not survive?"

"His biggest mistake was killing Major Reed. The man was sadistic and a bit undisciplined but he would have remained loyal to the chain of command." If he hadn't been loyal Reed would have had much more power and been the one in control long ago. "Without him Archer never stood a chance of surviving his little takeover attempt to begin with and now without Defiant he's totally vulnerable to whatever it is the Empire decides his fate will be." Tucker knew they always executed traitors. He just needed to convince the Tholians that he wanted Archer dead just as much as they obviously did.

"If I'm wrong you can come back and get him later." These two men were going to die at the hands of others and the only choice for Tucker was how to best make the impact benefit the future. The empire had just lost another 12 ships after having lost a half dozen in the previous encounter with the resistance. Enterprise had been the flagship of the Empire. Forrest and Archer had both destroyed the ship and themselves and with any luck word of their demise would spread and they'd do damage to the Empire, as well. The only worry about leaving Archer alive was his knowledge of Trip, T'Pol, and Vulcan bonds. But for Archer to stay alive he'd have to outwit Hoshi and Mayweather then convince the rest of the crew to follow him and go into hiding before the Empire sent ships after him.

"Archer has been moved to the other ship with the rest of the crew. If you are mistaken you will return and kill him. To avoid any further interference to this time we have been instructed to remove all signs of our presence and leave this universe, but if you do not follow through we can return at any time."

"What other ship and what crew?" Commander T'Pol asked while trying to read her scanners.

"The Terrans are aboard the ship that was docked to this ship." The Tholian responded.

That confirmed the Tholians knew of their plans for Defiant. Tucker looked to Commander T'Pol. "Avenger is no longer docked and the only humans aboard Defiant are located on the bridge." Tholians must be able to read minds or maybe the scan they took revealed their plans.

"The non-human crewmen are still here, right?" If not, they had a big problem. There was no way to run this ship with a crew of two.

"Yes." The Commander answered before the Tholians responded, "There are sixty-two alien lifesigns aboard."

Not wanting to anger them anymore Tucker gestured to the Tholian. "Is there anything else we can do for you??" The alien didn't reply. His image and the ship disappeared from the screen leaving a faint warp trail behind.

The Tholians seemed to know an awful lot about their plans. "Don't know what that was all about but let's not press our luck. Trip could you set a course back to the coordinates where your shuttle first appeared." Tucker waited for Trip to move to the navigational console. He moved to secure the tactical station.

Commander T'Pol read off the coordinates and Trip entered them into the computer. "Ready anytime you are." Trip spoke to the air waiting to see who was going to assume command of Defiant.

Tucker looked to Commander T'Pol. "You need to give the order Captain so we can get these two home." Tucker had the beginnings of a smile as Trip watched the silent interaction he recognized between the two and waited for the order.

"Warp eight, Commander Tuc...Trip." The new Captain was uncomfortable with the title but as the ranking officer, it was appropriate.

Trip engaged the warp drive and locked the coordinates into the computer. At warp 8, they would reach their destination in less than two hours.

"We need to go to engineering. With all the humans gone we need to reassign some crew." Tucker turned to both T'Pol's. "Can you two handle things here for a while?"

Captain T'Pol headed for the comm station. "Go. I will instruct the crew to go to their previously discussed assignments." Several would arrive in engineering so Tucker and Trip could show them how to temporarily fill in at the stations they needed them at to monitor the warp drive and other vital systems.

Trip stood in the turbolift surprised by the closest thing to a smile he'd ever seen on Tucker's face. His alternate self wasn't known for being in any kind of cheerful mood and Trip had only seen his series of non-expressions, snarls, or sneers before today. "Someone is certainly in a good mood."

Tucker jerked around trying to sound angry but failing miserably. "Don't start."

"I'm not starting anything just saying you're in a very good mood for a man who just got shot. Is there any particular reason for this change? Wouldn't have anything to do with a certain Vulcan would it?"

"Stop before you embarrass us both. And we have more important things to worry about than my personal life." And Tucker needed time to absorb everything. Too much had gone right and he was unprepared for all the unfamiliar perceptions in his mind.

Trip let out a devilish laugh. He'd actually admitted to having a personal life. "We can't do anything until we reach the coordinates and I seem to remember someone threatening to hurt me for being happy just the other day."

"Now I remember one of the many reasons I never made any friends." Tucker leaned back against the bulkhead, eyes closed.

Trip laughed at him again but full out this time. "Three friends in three weeks. Although I'm sure your relationship with Commander T'Pol goes beyond friendship."

Tucker pushed the thought away with the myriad of other new things he had to get used to. He became serious. "Don't go overboard here. We have a lot of work to do and while I'm still clueless, I'm not quite as pessimistic as I was about this whole being mates thing, but we're still a long ways from having a real relationship."

"Well, you have an emotional connection and a psychic one so by definition you have a real relationship." Realizing he sounded very much like T'Pol Trip decided to back off. Tucker had handled all the adjustments he'd had to make recently and it seemed he had finally asked Captain T'Pol to help him with his overactive emotions so he deserved a break.

There was no dampening Trip's optimism so Tucker didn't even try but changed the subject. "What was it you didn't say to me before when the Tholian took Phlox and Archer?"

"Just before I was going to object to just handing anyone over T'Pol reminded me this isn't my world so I should just stay out of it." These weren't the people he knew and they had done unspeakable things to the people in this universe. Passing judgment on any of them wasn't fair and had nothing to do with Trip, so he stayed quiet.

"She's right. They deserve to die and as I had just been reminded, I am no longer just responsible for my life." That Tholian ship could have swallowed them up or squished them like a gnat and he wasn't going to antagonize them too much for the likes of the captain or the doctor. "Would you have risked her life for Phlox or Archer?"

There were circumstances where Trip would have made that decision but not here. "No." Had they been anything like the captain and doctor he knew his answer would have been different but they weren't. Both men had decided their own fates with their actions and Tucker simply stood back and allowed the events to play out.

---

Tucker didn't know what to say. The last time he'd said goodbye was to his family and the last person he'd said it to was Lizzie, a little over ten years ago. Shaking his hand didn't seem enough and hugging him somehow felt awkward. Trip made the decision for them both and pulled him into a hug. "Been different. Can't say I like your world much but I am going to miss you."

Tucker stepped back. "I enjoyed meeting you but this had better be the one and only alternate me I meet. One T'Pol's hard enough on a guy so two of them is not something I'd really rather not do again."

"I agree. I could do without anymore of these little excursions myself." Before this trip, he'd thought having Lexington come back or visiting their time would be fun. But after having experienced being ripped out of his own time he wouldn't wish this on anyone. Trip handed him a padd. "There's some thoughts I've had about this ship since we got here." He'd had thoughts and ideas that he couldn't use but Tucker might. Reverse engineering new ships and technology would be tedious work but Trip had confidence that Tucker could do it. Trip envied him the challenge.

The two watched as Captain T'Pol's hand formed the ta'al and she spoke to her alternate self. Neither could hear what was said. Tucker handed Trip a device. "Hit the sequence I showed you and then get yourselves and your ship the hell out of range of the explosion."

Trip was anxious. "No problem. Wouldn't do to blow ourselves up after all this, would it?"

T'Pol climbed into the shuttle and checked that the computer was ready to reverse the course they'd taken to get here. Trip followed sealing the hatch behind him.

---

"Lt. Reed we're getting some strange readings from the sensors." The ensigns were busy trying to determine what the cause of the readings might be.

Malcolm reached for the comm. "Captain we need to stop. The sensors are picking up something. It's too far away to be sure but the readings are starting to look like what we saw just before the shuttle disappeared."

Archer went to the tactical station on the bridge and ran through the sensor readings and confirmed them with the lieutenant at the science station.

Reed listened as Archer gave Travis the new orders. "All engines stop. Lt. Reed you're needed on the bridge. Sound the tactical alert."

The alert sounded. "On my way, sir." Reed flew out of the Command Center to man the tactical station on the bridge.

---

Trip had a flood of emotions flowing through him. Tucker had explained what they'd found in the computer logs about what happened when the original crew of Defiant experienced the sensory distortions that eventually killed them when the Tholians pulled them through the rift. The Tholians had learned how to prevent it, by the time they pulled the shuttle through, but Enterprise would have no way of knowing this and would have no protection if they came into the spatial interphase. The shuttle was going back to it's own time so would not be affected. Or at least that was the theory. "Enterprise this is Commander Tucker. Stay where you are. Do not enter the rift. Acknowledge." He didn't hear anything but Enterprise stopped.

Assuming they could hear him Trip continued. "Enterprise, open the launch bay doors and as soon as we're aboard have Travis take us in full reverse to the outer limits of the long range scanners." T'Pol had calculated that that should put them clear of the explosion.

The bay doors closed behind the shuttle and Archer got on the comm. "Trip is that really you?"

"Sure is Captain. Get us out of here. There's going to be a really big boom in less than two minutes." Trip and T'Pol bolted from the pod on the run to the bridge.

The explosion flashed on the screen as they stepped off the lift. Trip went to the engineering console as T'Pol went to her station.

"What was that?" Archer wanted to know.

"That was a Tholian bomb. They use them to create spatial interphases and we just used one to close this one." Trip's mind was already organizing information in preparation for the dreaded debrief. The Captain and Starfleet would ask questions and expect detailed reports of their contacts and all the technology they encountered. He wanted to avoid it but knew it would be mandatory.

"The rift has been sealed?" T'Pol reported. The image on the viewscreen was of normal space.

"Captain, Dr. Phlox wishes to speak to you." Hoshi reported.

"Tell him we're on our way Ensign." Archer wanted to know what had happened to them but several protocols had already been ignored when they came aboard and bypassed decon, coming directly to the bridge. "You both need to report to Sickbay. Have Phlox check you out."

"Yes, sir." Trip Tucker answered and moved to the lift stopping to tap Malcolm on the shoulder. "Mess Hall for lunch as soon as Phlox releases us. Thanks for coming after us." He could see the relief, in his friend's eyes, that they were back.

"Anytime, you know that." Malcolm whispered back meaning it more than even Trip knew.

Trip smiled as he turned his attention to his mate. "Commander T'Pol I believe we've been ordered to Sickbay." He could hear her objections in his mind and tried to stop them before she got on a real roll. He'd already heard her tell him not to have the captain order her there, as she wanted to check the sensor readings.

"Captain..."

Trip cut her off. "No way. Don't make me pull rank on you. You need to see the doc and then we're going to get something to eat."

"And exactly how is it that you're going to pull rank? Last time I checked she was still the first officer." It made Archer a little suspicious of his newly returned officers.

T'Pol answered for him as she approached the lift. "It has nothing to do with Starfleet, Captain. It's a personal matter, which the Commander and I will discuss in private." Her eyes weren't glaring at him...her face was neutral. But Trip could feel the intense displeasure coming off her in waves.

She was upset with him but rather than argue here she acquiesced to his demand and followed him out to go to Sickbay. Archer followed wanting to be sure they checked out okay.

"_Trip you must remember to use our bond to speak to me privately." _T'Pol reminded him again of the ability to speak telepathically.

"_It's going to take some getting used to."_ Even though he heard her speaking to him he forgot that he could speak to her that way or he forgot they were speaking silently and would speak out loud. _"You need to be checked out by a real doctor I trust and I'm sorry if that pisses you off but I'm not apologizing for wanting to know you're alright."_

Archer was extremely nervous and uncomfortable. They weren't speaking but they both appeared to be angry. "I realize this mission wasn't what was planned but I seem to remember someone promising me that the situation between my officers wouldn't get worse if they went on this mission. You were at least speaking to one another when you left, so what happened?"

"The situation is much better between us Captain we're just having a disagreement about Commander T'Pol seeing Phlox." Trip clenched his fists tightly. "One of their officers took a liking to the Commander and expressed his interest with his fists and some kind of an electro-shock and their Dr. Phlox lacked the bedside manner of our Phlox so she is going to do as I asked and let the doc give her a through exam." He was extremely concerned that more damage had been done to her neural pathways. The doctor had warned that any further trauma could cause irreversible damage.

T'Pol forced herself to relax and tried to let herself concentrate on the concern Trip had about her health.

She heard the words from Trip. "Sa-telsu ek'te'kru to-go (husbands authority to rule)._"_

"How did you..." She stopped as the words ran through her mind this time. "Trip is correct and I should not have objected to his request that I seek medical attention."

"Thank you." Trip smiled until he heard Archer's next question.

"So, Trip what is a sa-tek su kru...whatever...?" Archer attempted to remember what Trip had said?

"It's Sa-kugalsu and it's Vulcan for fiancé'." T'Pol informed him hoping to confuse him. Not liking deceiving him but knowing that there was no logic in allowing Trip's slip, because the bond had just made him aware that the completion of the bond made him her husband, to undo all they had worked to keep hidden.

Trip bit his tongue and was so glad the captain required hours of Hoshi's time to master new languages. They better hope he didn't remember the word and repeat it to anyone, especially Hoshi. Then it hit him what he'd just said to his mate. Husband. Wow, they were technically married and he'd almost blown it. "_We really need to get this talking through the bond thing figured out."_

"_I have it figured out. It is you who must work on it." _T'Pol reminded him sternly.

"So you got engaged while you were gone?" Archer seemed surprised.

"No that occurred during our first trip to Vulcan." T'Pol told him satisfied that he had moved on and knowing evasion would only make him more inquisitive.

Archer remembered that trip and he also remembered T'Pol announcing they were both going to Vulcan. "So who exactly proposed?" Things had been better between them then but still had seemed strained. He wondered if that had been the purpose of the trip.

Trip could feel T'Pol's reticence at answering and didn't want to go into detail. "Vulcan traditions are a little more involved than human ones and we had already started the bond so we were already engaged but we wanted to make it a little more formal with a Vulcan ritual." At some point the Captain and Malcolm were going to discover more aspects of their relationship and bond but not until it became necessary.

"Hoshi gave me some material on Vulcan rituals and culture. The ceremony I read about takes place in childhood. There's no mention of one for adults." Unable to get any information from the couple Archer had finally asked his communications officer for assistance.

T'Pol knew Trip would not have discussed Koss and her betrothal but she assumed Archer had learned of it by now. "That is normally the way it is done but when I broke my betrothal by refusing to leave Enterprise, and return for the marriage my parents arranged for me, I was then free to make my own choice. The ceremony was very similar to the one you referred to." Except they were already bonded and the ceremony was more for honoring tradition and giving Trip something tangible and binding to hold onto so he no longer feared her withdrawing again.

Trip walked beside T'Pol as they entered Sickbay. Phlox shuffled them immediately down to decon for the standard set of procedures. Trip reached across and opened the comm link. "Apply a healthy amount of gel wait then apply this neutralizing, clear gel, soak up the warm, blue rays and then we get dressed and we're done, right?"

"Yes Commander, unless my scans discover any other problems." The crew had been through these procedures so many times the doctor was sure they must know each by rote.

"I'm turning off the audio and video. You'll have your bio readouts if there's any problem. See you in 40 minutes." Trip turned the feeds off. "Now let's see about these gels."

T'Pol stood absolutely still as he removed her clothing. He rubbed the gel between his hands before applying it first to her shoulders and then he worked his way down her back. His fingers worked deep into her soft tissue until he neared the lower ribs. He then eased up and his touch became feather light as it glided over the surface letting his fingers slide forward to her abdomen and work their way up to her shoulders again. "I can honestly say this is better than any of my dreams after that first mission." He easily remembered how he'd felt being so angry with her yet feeling so attracted to her at the same time.

"I find that hard to believe. You had some rather elaborate fantasies. Just remember we are in decon." T'Pol recalled the many dreams she had experienced through their bond that took them both back to that first intimate encounter in decon.

"I have no intention of doing anything you wouldn't approve of." He turned her to face him, gently pulling her body into his. "I'm just glad to be back home. And I owe you a celebration, which I have every intention of giving you if Phlox gives you the all clear."

"We already celebrated the completion of our bond."

"Then we'll celebrate being home and the fact that I can now call you my wife." Trip couldn't seem to get his mind off wanting her. He tried but the bond was on fire and he was losing the battle to keep it under control. "T'Pol I'm going to need a little help here. Can you do anything to help me dampen this fire a little." He didn't want to put it out just get it under control a little better. He felt her control taking over pushing the more intense of the feelings away, putting them both on a low simmer. "Don't get me wrong that felt really good but why now and why couldn't I stop it?" Thinking of baseball or old women had never really worked unless whatever he was thinking about was something so intense it could shock his brain into shifting its focus but with the bond he should be able to keep his reactions under control much better than this.

"It may be a similar effect to what you have suffered previously. We have been operating under tremendous stress and intense emotions. Once we reentered our own universe those emotions were released and have been replaced by the emotions here and our own pleasure at being home is overwhelming our systems."

"So I'm going from being angry and scared to death to having no control over my mind and body?" He had to admit that since they'd completed the bond and figured out how to use it to keep T'Pol from being overwhelmed by her emotions making love had been at the forefront of his thoughts but he'd been able to deal with it. There was some consolation in the fact that this was definitely better than the pain he'd felt in the past when they returned to Enterprise.

"Let's talk about something else." T'Pol slipped into her stoic Vulcan stance.

The shiver told him what the topic was to be. "I know you're upset that I was going to invoke some ancient Vulcans rights earlier. I didn't even know what I was going to say until that moment, but you were being stubborn." He was upset with her and then there was the shock of his realization just before the words came out. He'd had no time to consider that the captain was standing there. She'd said the bond would provide what was needed and it told him she would honor tradition and him if he said those words. Her Vulcan heritage would demand it of her.

He took a deep breath. "I want you to understand something. I meant it when I said we're not following Human or Vulcan rules. So the new rule is this goes both ways and I'll honor my mate in the same way my mate honors me." If he'd known of this earlier, they could have avoided several weeks of problems. But then they hadn't been fully bonded.

That was unexpected but then it shouldn't be. "Thank you. I cherish you more every day." Trip would never expect her to abide by some rule he did not apply to himself.

He kissed her forehead. "I cherish you too." This was the closest she had ever come to 'I love you' but his senses told him that for a Vulcan these words held just as much meaning.

The tap on the decon door startled them both. "Your times up." Archer yelled impatient to see them both and discuss what had happened to them over the last weeks. He'd tried to get Phlox to turn the feeds back on but the doctor refused saying he did not think it wise to interrupt them. Archer had to admit he was probably right. Trip had shut them off for a reason so he chose instead to get their attention by knocking on the door.

Trip hit the audio feed. "Give us a few more minutes." T'Pol went to grab clean uniforms out of the locker for each of them.

"We both need to put up shields before Phlox examines us." Keeping any documentation of their bond from Starfleet was a primary concern.

"Is there any reason the doctor needs to know about the bond being completed?" Trip had considered his past discretion. The records in Sickbay were limited and omitted anything Phlox considered potentially dangerous if someone were to get their hands on the data. Phlox kept his own personal records, which Trip had tried to get him to destroy. The information he'd gotten from his other self regarding his research and procedures that allowed Lorian to be born was amongst the doctor's personal records. Phlox adamantly refused to destroy any of the data in case something happened in the future that required those records. After the Terra Prime incident, Trip was more than a little nervous and insisted if Phlox were going to keep the information he must secure it. Trip with T'Pol's help had devised disks that password protected the encrypted records and designed a locked box to house the disks in. Phlox was the only one with access to the box. Any information obtained by Starfleet Medical was sanitized by the doctor and was also encrypted and kept totally confidential. But they'd long ago agreed there was already enough questionable information in those files and that they needed to be much more careful about what information the doctor might have so that there was no possibility of there being a record. Even an encrypted one.

"The only thing he might need to know is about the healing trance but only to be aware of what it is and how it works. If either of us were to go into one and the other was not available to end it he would need to know what to do."

Trip stopped pulling up his jumpsuit. "What do you mean either of us? I thought that was a Vulcan thing?"

"If there is a need your body will put itself into a trance. It may be a 'Vulcan thing' but you are my mate and the bond will act to heal you whenever possible."

"That's a little more than sharing personality traits and thoughts." He'd never asked but deep inside somewhere, he'd known this connection was making fundamental changes to both of them. He let the information sink in. "Okay I say we tell him what they are and how it works and when he asks his questions make sure you explain what he needs to know just leave out the part about you having gone into one and me being able to go into one." Avoiding being his latest research project and talking about the bond were his goals. If the doctor knew about the trance, he'd be able to recognize it when he saw it and assist, if needed, but for now there would be no official record to fall into the wrong hands.

"I agree but I may require your assistance as I was unconscious and do not remember what took place. We will shield the bond just before he begins his exam."

"How long before it starts to be a problem?" She hadn't said anything but he could feel her apprehension at blocking the bond.

"I am unsure because you are not Vulcan and my neural pathways are not fully healed." It took many months for a couple to learn the techniques to prevent pain and damage when they were to be separated for long periods of time or over long distances. Blocking a completed bond out totally was not normally done but when duty made it necessary some Vulcan couples went to a priest and were able to learn to do so for extended periods of time.

Trip considered a quick shower to remove the gel but thought better of it when he felt this wave of desire hit the bond. Pulling the zipper upward, "Let's go before the Captain overrides the codes." Knowing Jon he wouldn't wait much longer.

---

Archer could hear them behind the curtain. No questions were asked and no information was volunteered on the walk back to sickbay and he had become anxious like an expectant child at story time. Only from what little Trip had said Jon doubted that whatever they were to recount would be conducive to calming anyone into a state of rest.

"Her ribs are fine and her neural pathways were traumatized but they will recover. Is there any thing else I need to know?" Phlox had seen some unusual readings in both their brainwaves but it was useless asking. If they didn't volunteer the information, he might as well forget it. They had informed him about healing trances without really admitting that T'Pol had been in one but he counted himself lucky that they had trusted him enough to say that much.

"Doc, I need a big favor. I need, I mean we need some ti...." Time for what? He could say time to heal but that wasn't what he wanted time for and he'd given the doc such a hard time about being ordered off-duty in the not so distant past.

Phlox watched the Commander as he tried to find the right words for his request. The engineer had always fought him at every turn when he told him to take time off to rest and recuperate but now it appeared he was on the verge of asking for time off. "You are both off-duty until further notice."

Trip's smile said Phlox had saved him the trouble of asking for the favor. The doctor waited for the standard reply about duty from T'Pol when he told her to take time off. She was as bad as Tucker, but he was surprised when he saw her look into Trip's eyes with acceptance at his directive.

It was a legitimate need for them both. Their blood work showed elevated levels of hormones and chemicals from long-term high level stress. "I want to recheck your blood work before you are released for duty. Commander T'Pol you especially need to allow your mind time to rest and Commander Tucker hasn't exactly had an easy time of it lately either. So I want you both to rest and relax. Do something fun." Telling a Vulcan to have fun under normal circumstances would have been futile but he had total confidence in Commander Tucker's ability to get this Vulcan to relax. He normally would have administered drugs to bring their stress levels down but thought it best to allow them to do what needed to be done in a much more natural way.

"May we go?" T'Pol was impatient to leave.

"I'll see you in 2 days. Unless you need me before then." Phlox went to enter the details of the exams in the files.

Trip waited for T'Pol's objection to taking time off. But it never came. It didn't upset him that she was that way. He had been the same and still was at times.

Archer was standing there when they came from behind the curtain. "I heard Phlox's orders. We're heading for a planet we picked up on sensors. You're welcome to join the away teams for a couple of day's shore leave." Archer had plans to meet Erika to spend some time away from their respective ship's.

"No thanks Captain. Our luck seems to be really bad when we leave the ship, so we're going to hang out here if it's all the same to you." They hadn't done well staying on the ship either but here they had Malcolm and all of his security teams.

"Understood." The captain was glad they wanted to stay on the ship. They really did need things to settle down so they could get back into their normal routine.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**Singularities (MU and RU)**

"I'm not going to last one more week." Tucker crawled across and laid his head on the bunk. "Where is everyone?" They'd just returned from their latest training mission so his squad should all be here fighting over the showers and hot water trying to get cleaned up.

"Let's not worry about that. Let's get you out of this uniform. You smell like..." T'Pol tweaked her nose in his direction. Better not to think about whatever it was that had produced such a pungent smell of rotting flesh. "Never mind let's just get you cleaned up." She started to pull the zipper down.

"That's okay. I'll take care of it." Tucker had a routine when he returned from one of these sessions. "Could you hand me that bottle on the shelf over there. Then you should leave and come back in an hour or so."

T'Pol lifted the bottle and removed the lid jerking her head back when the odor burned at her nose and eyes. "What is this?"

"My own special brew for removing all the creepy-crawlies." He'd mixed up the solution so he could douse his body with it and avoid actually seeing all the critters that had attached themselves to him.

She reached out and took his hand but he pulled away. "You survived the Empire. The torture and beatings Reed, Forrest, and Archer subjected you to. You've survived this training, but you're afraid of bugs?" Barriers were keeping the worst of it from her but it must be serious if he was willing to pour this mixture over the cuts and bruises she could see on his body. There was no way it could not be painful. What part of his brain had he shut down to hide this fear for all these weeks?

"Not afraid exactly but...look I've had to work really hard at not letting them know how much I hate bugs since I've been here and the thought of standing in the shower picking them off me..." His whole body physically shuddered. The hair on his arms was standing up and he could feel the willies creeping down his neck and back. "Can we change the subject? Whatever it is you needed just give me an hour so I can get this done before anybody comes back here and I'll be good to go." Normally he'd sit here and wait for his bunkmates to finish cleaning up. They'd then leave or pass out from lack of sleep and he'd be alone and free to clean himself up without prying eyes or questions. If he hurried now he might actually have hot water this time.

She replaced the bottle on the shelf and reached for his hand again. "Come with me." Pulling him up she drug him toward the bathroom grabbing his field pack on the way.

"I'll be fine just let me take care of this." Abruptly he pulled away from her, returning to sit on the bed.

"You trusted me with this secret; now allow me to assist you with a solution. Come into the bathroom, now." She retook his hand pulling him upright, moving to place her fingers firmly around his waist to help direct him toward the shower.

Propping him up against the back bulkhead she instructed, "Close you eyes. I'll take care of this." Slowly unzipping his uniform and slipping it off his shoulders, made his tension mount as dirt, moss, and a variety of plant and animal life caked inside fell to his feet. Taking his knife from the pack and cutting his shirts up the front allowed for easier removal after pulling the sleeves free of his arms. The first of the shiny black leeches and ticks burrowed across his chest appeared. She took an item from the pack and touched it to one of the creatures. Once it released it's grip on his skin it was flung into the waste receptacle where she also deposited his clothing. Moving on until her task was finally complete; she stepped out, turned on the water and slowly guided him under the spray, placing a bottle of soap in his hand. "Would you like to do the rest yourself or do you require further assistance?"

They were in the barracks and while she wasn't as uptight as some of the Vulcans they'd met here, it was still important to be respectful of her culture. Besides she'd done enough. "Thanks for this but I think I can do the rest on my own. Wouldn't do for you to be in here if any of the others come back."

"I will wait in the other room." She started for the sink to clean herself up until she looked more closely at the reflection of him in the mirror. Being so focused on the leeches she hadn't really seen the rest of him under the layers of filth. She immediately moved backwards and took an inventory of all the cuts and bruises. The yellow and green markings were centered on his sides, back, and chest. She ran her fingers lightly over them causing the involuntary tensing of his abdominal muscles. The bruising came from being hit, with the practice pellets, during training. The coloring spoke of when they had been inflicted. She then saw the unhealed wounds on his sides and back. One started just above his hip and ran down his leg. It was recent, ragged, and ugly red. Without asking, she moved him to the center of the water flow, turning the hot water up as soon as her hand was within reach of the faucet. "Do not move," she said as she stepped out again.

Tucker stood there letting the hot water wash away the layers of dirt and smell from his skin. He leaned back letting the water rinse through his hair, afraid to use his hands. T'Pol rejoined him. "Why did you not go to see the doctor for treatment of these wounds?"

His first thought was that his treatment by Phlox tended to encourage an aversion to doctors. "I don't know. Didn't see how it would help me and the pain makes me more alert." Being on Enterprise had taught him that. Reed and Archer's treatment of him had taught him how to grab hold of his anger, subvert the pain, and narrow his focus.

She traced the bruises as she dumped disinfectant, she'd brought in with her, on his chest. "When was the last time you were shot?" These were not new.

"Three weeks, 3 days, 15 hours, and 47 minutes before this last mission started." When training started, he'd been tagged several times. After several days of being the target dummy for everyone, he learned how to hide. He became very good at being unseen and sneaking up on the enemy. They never got close enough to him after that to inflict any wounds. His wounds were mostly from crawling around in the various terrains they had trained in. "You told me I couldn't get shot again so it became my goal to learn how not to let that happen."

Add this last mission, to his time and she understood his satisfaction in the accomplishment. "You should be proud of that but it does absolutely no good if you die of an infection or from lack of nutrients." Holding him up she felt how much weight he'd lost since she'd seen him five days ago. "When was the last time you ate or drank?"

"A few days ago, I think." He didn't know. "Ran out of that stuff they gave us to sterilize the water and swallowed half the swamp anyway so my insides are on fire and hurt like hell." His stomach began demanding attention as he watched her reach out and pull two packets from one of the smaller field packs she'd placed on the floor outside the shower.

After filling a cup half-way she dumped the contents of the first packet in and stirred it up with her finger. "You did not think. Drink this and tell me when the pain is gone."

Tucker took the cup and downed the contents. It burned going down but soon the sensation changed with the lessening of the pain. He leaned back and let her continue to cleanse his body. He felt her hand come down over his eyes closing the lids as she went and then the liquid started running down from his head. Every inch of him felt raw inside and out and when he breathed in the disinfectant, it stung. Her fingers were in his hair massaging his scalp bringing relief from the fear of what might have taken up residence there. She moved downward and dumped the liquid over every inch of him setting his body on fire with the burning sensation from the open wounds. She then did the same with the soap until his body was clean and the stinging had ceased. She reached outside the stall again and brought forth the knife again dousing it with disinfectant. "This is going to hurt but it is unavoidable. The wound must be cleaned out to hasten the infection before I apply the antibiotic cream." Her fingers traced down the injury and the red lines that now extended beyond the cut itself.

He didn't say anything as his hands gripped the bars at his sides. He hissed as the blade sliced into his leg. Her hand quickly covered his navel holding his body against the wall waiting to see if he would pass out. He became disoriented when the pain hit but he quickly recovered pulling himself upright again. The pus-filled blood of the new cuts mingled with the water washing down his leg to the drain. After several moments, the water stopped and there was something being wrapped around his leg. "Drink what's in the cup," she instructed again as she continued to wrap his leg. He emptied the cup a second time and looked down to watch her bandaging his leg. Knowing he must be in pain she finally understood why even while in contact with him she could not feel it. "Put down your shields."

"No. You shouldn't have to suffer through this." Dealing with pain he could handle, inflicting any of his pain and discomfort on her he could not.

"Your training was to make use of all available resources to survive so PUT DOWN YOUR SHIELDS." The last part was very short and insistent.

He considered arguing with her but was unsure what she might be able to do with the bond to force him to do what she ordered and he didn't have the strength for a battle of wills so he put his shields down.

"You should not have wasted your strength on shielding me when you needed it for yourself." She took in the pain but was amazed at how well he was dealing with it on his own.

Physical pain he could handle it was the emotional pain that overwhelmed him. For the first time he actually looked at her. "Are all Vulcans this unaffected about being naked in front of others?"

"I'm sure some are not but it has nothing to do with being Vulcan. Soldiers serving Starfleet under humans means having no privacy so one learns to suppress any discomfort with things that cannot be changed." Nudity was the least of those things. "But here, now -- you are my mate and you have seen me without clothing before so what reason would I have to be self-conscious?"

"None I guess but we humans are a little intimidated when it comes to our bodies and being naked makes us feel vulnerable." He shouldn't feel this way. She hadn't done anything to make him feel this way but his body was reacting to her and he couldn't stop it.

She wrapped a towel around his waist. "Better?"

He had to admit he felt much better. "Yes."

Tucker held the towel around his waist as he went to the locker to get a clean uniform. It was empty. He looked around and for the first time saw several bags packed near the door. "Am I going somewhere?" That made no sense as he had another week of training before the final mission to test what he'd learned.

"You have completed your training and we are returning to Defiant."

"Whoa, wait a minute. The test isn't until next week and as much as I hate this place I've gotten this far and I'd really like to finish this." This started out as something he was doing because T'Pol thought it was important but at some point his focus changed and now he wanted it for himself.

"You finished today. You completed the training with above average rankings and have been reassigned to Defiant."

"Above average? How is that possible? I'm cut and bruised and every bone and muscle I have hurts." He looked at his foot. "Well, I might have a toenail that doesn't hurt." But then again he wasn't sure it didn't hurt too. "I practically crawled back here. What's above average about that?" Rather dejected he sat on the bunk looking for some sign of clothes he could put on.

"This mission was the test. The team you were up against are the best and you survived." The accomplishment was that he came back not whether he was injured or not.

"If this is what it feels like to pass I'd sure hate to see the ones who don't?" His mind took over. It's over and you're alive, so you should just shut up and be thankful. "So whose idea was it to lie to me about all this?"

"You seemed extremely nervous about the test so I requested they allow you to believe it was just another training session. Was I wrong?" She'd watched him over the last weeks and could see that he knew what to do in real life situations, but if someone asked him to demonstrate those abilities, he froze up.

"Sneaky yes, wrong no. I've always hated tests so you did me a favor, thanks." He wasn't sure how she'd managed it but he was glad she had. "So where are my clothes? I'm freezing."

T'Pol handed him a package. "Your new uniform." He opened it up to find a light colored shirt and a black jumpsuit, similar to his Enterprise uniform, with no emblems only his new Commander's insignia and a comm badge from Defiant. The resistance had a chain of command and they must have decided to allow him to retain his rank here. He was the chief engineer on Defiant but he was also a soldier in the resistance now. He'd carried a weapon and occasionally fought, if necessary, for the Empire but most often his duties were confined to Engineering.

"There are several more in your bags. I picked the color of the uniform and your shirts. There are other choices available."

She must have had the quartermaster make clothes for him using his old stuff as a pattern. "If you like them I'm sure they'll be fine. So what does your uniform look like?" He hadn't seen her in the uniform she'd worn on Defiant since they arrived here. She wore Vulcan robes or what he assumed were casual clothes for Vulcans here. The crews all wore the uniform of their own planet with the insignia of the resistance.

"It is slightly different than yours." The design was more tailored to a female's body. She was the Chief Science Officer and a Commander, having asked not to be given any other duties.

"And did you pick colors for yourself?" It was nice sitting here imagining what colors would look good against her skin. Then he questioned whether he should ask why she had chosen not to wear a Vulcan uniform and instead chose to match hers with his but then thought it was enough that she had.

"I did." He had commented on the more colorful robes some of the Vulcans he'd seen here wearing so instead of one color she picked several colors. One of them was red; another was the same blue as his eyes, which she would never have chosen for herself. But somehow while choosing her wardrobe the thought that those were vibrant colors, like those Tucker pointed out and wore himself, kept coming to mind.

"Let's send this stuff to Defiant and then can we see something of this planet besides the swamp?" Bright sunshine and dry land instead of dark, damp, ground under tents or sleeping bags pitched on whatever level place he could find sounded good. Being cooped up in a ship was expected for an engineer who wanted to work with warp technology and the war had made the chances of spending time on an actual planet non-existent. That meant sending a shuttle and valuable crewmen off the ship and left them vulnerable to attack so Enterprise had depended on a constant flow of supply ships being sent from Earth.

It had been over two months since they'd arrived here. They'd run into trouble with ships from the resistance several light-years before reaching the planet. The captain and security officers of the lead ship boarded Defiant and began manhandling the human, Tucker, the minute they spotted him. The captain was Andorian and his security team were of four different species. Being the only human aboard and of the race that had enslaved so many of the species in the quadrant meant he was instantly mistrusted and despised. No surprise for Tucker there. Bad blood was to be expected and the Andorian refused to hear anything Captain T'Pol said. She finally resorted to signaling the rest of their crew to come to the bridge. Once the other's arrived, they physically assaulted the Andorian and took up positions to protect Tucker without any word from their Commander. The engineer looked around at each of them knowing he had only come to know a few of them but for whatever reason they all accepted him as part of their movement and were prepared to fight to protect one of their own. That surprised him, as did their camaraderie during training. The crew all received combat training; as well as; some of the cultural training they'd missed from their own species by being held captive or being raised on Earth.

Tucker hadn't seen Lizzie yet as she'd gone off on some extended tour of the planet days before they'd arrived. He assumed she was looking around to see where she might fit in. She most likely was also taking in the architecture each of the six Xindi species utilized, although the Aquatics and Avians would be impossible for her to work with as their worlds were out of reach for most other species.

Tucker wanted to see some of this place before they headed off on their new mission. But as he stood up to dress he became light-headed and decided it might be better to stay put.

T'Pol saw the color drain from his face and arrived at the same conclusion. "Perhaps you should rest. The planet will be here tomorrow."

"You might be right I'm not quite at my best." Food or sleep, he couldn't decide which he needed more. Whatever was in that cup had brought his appetite back full force but his body also needed sleep. Hours of warmth and the softness of a mattress with no worries about being attacked by nature or the enemy would do wonders in making him feel better. He pulled the covers back on his bed, then pulled the towel free, and climbed in. "If everyone has been reassigned there's no chance of anyone coming in here till morning, right?" He laid back and pulled the blanket up to his waist.

"No. Your squad has all been assigned to Defiant and the others have all moved on to their new assignments." T'Pol had made sure no one would return here so Tucker would have the time and quiet to recuperate from these last weeks of training.

"Then I say we stay right here for the night. That is if you don't mind staying with me." She had a very calming affect on him and his sleep would be more restful with her nearby.

His stomach grumbled letting her know the sense she was getting through the bond was hunger. "I do not mind but you need to eat."

"There's some field rations in my pack that'll do fine for now. They taste awful but I've gotten used to it." He looked at the pack. "Are you hungry?" He hadn't considered whether she might want to go get something else.

"If I were the rations would be acceptable. Do not concern yourself with me; it is you who must eat." She went to the door and locked it then went to the pack and pulled out several containers of dried food. They were adequate for nutrition but even she found them objectionable due to their dryness and lack of any flavor. She brought several packets and the canteen sitting on the floor to the bed, slipped off her towel, and climbed in next to him.

He took the first packet he touched and opened it. They were supposed to be different flavors but he had not found any difference. They all seemed to taste like what he imagined the leather his boots were made of tasted like. The only difference was this shoe leather had been injected with some vital vitamins and minerals to keep one alive.

T'Pol laid her head back against the bulkhead letting the bond flow between them. His pain level had diminished but it was still there. "Take some pain medication so you can sleep?"

"Is there some reason you find it necessary to act like my commanding officer?"

"No." She had been spending large blocks of time completing the required re-qualifications in several areas.

"Then I suggest you stop telling me what to do and try asking me. And I don't need anything for pain." He liked to stay sharp and while the medication took the edge off the pain, it also deadened his senses. "I'll sleep for a while then maybe we could meditate. I've tried to while I've been here but it's impossible." There was always someone nearby to interrupt and he didn't want to have to explain what he was doing and where he'd learned how to do it.

---

Tucker woke up alone. He couldn't feel T'Pol nearby so she must have gone to the meeting she mentioned to him just before he drifted off to sleep. He slept like a statue not moving at all almost like he was dead he was sure after having not slept more than one or two hours at a time while in training. He was hungry so he got up and dressed.

In the dining hall, he overheard some of the officers talking about a Vulcan Council having arrived during the night. Apparently, there was some problem with one of the Vulcans and they were here to discuss it. One of the Benzite members of his squad came by his table on the way out. "We thought you'd be in the meeting with Commander T'Pol."

"Why would I need to be there?"

"Rumor has it that the Vulcans are upset with her and it has something to do with a human. We assumed that was you."

"You wouldn't know where this meeting is taking place would you?" Why hadn't T'Pol told him about this?

"No, but Lt. Soval does." Kirian pointed across the room.

Only two of the crew besides T'Pol had not been assigned to training with Tucker and Soval was one of them. But he had been promoted. "Thanks." Tucker walked across to speak to Soval. "Do you know where the Vulcans are meeting with Commander T'Pol?"

"In a conference room one level below us?" The Vulcan answered and went back to his reading.

Tucker felt the disdain the Vulcan had for him but refrained from saying anything but grabbed the padd from his grasp. "Does this meeting have anything to do with me?"

"The council had some concerns." He reached for his padd dismissively.

Tucker threw the device on the table and turned away. "Thanks." He almost said for nothing but he had told him where T'Pol was. Getting information out of Soval was not easy on the best of days and Tucker wasn't in the mood to pry things loose so he ran from the room and down to the next level in search of his own answers.

Finding several conference rooms, he tried finding her by using the bond. It wasn't as accurate when they weren't in physical contact but he could still locate her if he got close enough and concentrated.

Tucker walked calmly into the room once he was sure it was the right place. T'Pol was standing at the far end of the room speaking to several Vulcans sitting at the table. He could feel the jolt of surprise when she became aware of his sudden appearance.

They were speaking in Vulcan. Tucker began searching for a translator so he could follow the conversation but not finding one decided to move closer to T'Pol hoping that would at least give him a better feel for how she was reacting to the discussion. When her fingers slide up under his sleeve and made contact with bare skin on his arm he reacted to both the touch and the fact that he could understand what was being said.

"The reports are true. You have a bond with this human?" The Vulcan who Tucker guessed was in charge asked.

Who was reporting to the council? That they knew of the bond didn't alarm her. She assumed at least some of the Vulcans present would be able to detect the bond between them, but if someone was making reports to the council, T'Pol knew they needed to know.

"You will return to Vulcan and have the bond severed." The head Vulcan stated it as a fact.

"No." T'Pol told them and Tucker shook his head 'no' in support.

"You will do as you are told or suffer the consequences." The Vulcan told her.

Tucker recognized the attitude from the previous evening. T'Pol must have been hanging around with Vulcans from home, but here that attitude she'd acquired was non-existent. She just stood there saying nothing.

He turned to T'Pol. "I don't understand what they have to do with our bond so I need you to help me out here. What consequences?"

"They can refuse to recognize you as my mate and ban me from returning to Vulcan."

He could feel her upset at being banned from Vulcan. "Returning to Vulcan's important to you?"

"Yes."

"So what are the options here?" He asked then suddenly turned back to the council.

"Wait a minute. Do you understand English?" Tucker wasn't surprised when they each responded in the affirmative. English was the language of the Terran Empire. "Is this because I'm human?"

"Yes." The Vulcan in the center answered.

"Because of the Terran Empire? You're going to hold that against me even though I'm here helping you defeat them?"

"This union will never be accepted on Vulcan." The Vulcan motioned to the two of them.

"We're not on Vulcan. And you should all go back home and stay away from any humans we're able to recruit to join us. You should probably stay away from all the members of the resistance while you're at it." Turning back to T'Pol, "I'm going to wait outside for you. Do what you need to do."

He turned to leave. Acting as if he hadn't caught the guard's movement towards him, thinking he'd retreat once he saw that Tucker was leaving the room. When he felt the grip on the very tender and painful muscles of his upper arm he whirled around behind the guard ripping his arm free then wrapped it up and around to bring his fingers down and hit the nerve on the first attempt. He pivoted back around pulling his phase pistol out of the holster at his side, letting his thumb find the slide to adjust the stun setting high enough to bring a Vulcan down. "I told you I needed to know how to do that." T'Pol hadn't taught him. One of the Vulcan's in training showed him where the nerve was located and let him practice locating the right spot on him but he'd never actually tried the move applying pressure before and was amazed he had actually been able to make it work.

T'Pol stepped back to stand at his side. "Just back off and let us leave." Tucker surveyed the room for weapons. The Vulcan lying on the floor had none. Must have assumed he could overpower a human. "Isn't it against your laws to interfere with a bond?"

"Yes it is but we are not convinced that what you have is a true bond; therefore; it does not fall under the protection of our laws." That same Vulcan answered.

Sounded like something straight out of the Empire's twisted reasoning. Stepping forward he raised the phase pistol and stuck it against the Vulcan's face. "So you get to magically decide that we don't have a bond so you can justify whatever it is you want to do." From the earlier comment, he deduced they wanted to take them back to Vulcan to remove the bond. "Well let's look at this from my perspective." His voice got very quiet the words were barely a whisper as he bent down to the ear of the Vulcan who appeared to be in charge. "We are mates and that means I take care of her and she takes care of me." He'd been unclear about this and unwilling to consider what that meant to T'Pol until this moment. All she wanted was for him to acknowledge it was an oath. A promise. A bond. Their bond.

Their bond that was...is...unbreakable. That's what Trip and T'Pol had said. It could not be severed. "And we've been bonded for two years so it's doubtful that you could sever it without killing us."

Something in their mannerisms said they were all aware of that. Their only objective was to have their connection severed. He straightened up, holstered his weapon, and moved toward the door and T'Pol moved with him. Without thinking, he responded to the movement to his left by throwing a statue from an alcove in the wall as he turned his upper body, hitting one of the males who'd risen from the table and came towards them, in the head. His easily detached emotions and recent training made for a deadly combination. His feet kept moving forward but all the ways he could handle an attack if it became necessary kept flooding through his brain. He stopped at the door and locked eyes with T'Pol. No words were spoken as he stepped across the threshold and with no hesitation, she followed.

They continued down the corridor.

"Sorry if I made things worse. They aren't very happy with me...you..." His finger wagged back and forth. "...whatever this is with us." A Vulcan happy. He wasn't even sure if happy was in their vocabulary and somehow he doubted the Vulcans in that room had ever experienced a positive emotion in their lives.

"You are not to blame. Perhaps we should alter our plans and move to Defiant this morning."

He stopped and turned to face her. He reigned in his anger and grasped both of her shoulders. "Don't you ever do that to me again. If we're going to be taking care of each other then you can't keep things from me." He left it there knowing she understood.

They had planned to spend the day planetside and take a shuttle to the ship later in the day but T'Pol's suggestion of putting some distance and a few hundred crewmen between themselves and the Vulcans seemed prudent.

---

"No more reports, no more questions. Send me to the brig whatever but don't ask me one more question. I'm done." The engineer's head dropped down into his arms as he waited for his captain to do or say something about his refusal to continue. T'Pol sat at the other end of the table watching both men. Her position as First Officer was of no use as she was also under orders to complete these reports and answer similar questions posed by Starfleet.

"This is everything?" Archer sympathized but the Admirals had all expressed disbelief that both Commanders had returned from another universe where they had access to advanced technology and hadn't brought back complete schematics of Defiant or all the other technology they'd encountered. The pair insisted what they had given them was all they had or could remember. Trip was sure Archer knew they were holding back details of their adventure but he refrained from calling them on it.

It wasn't that Archer didn't want to as much as his knowing that separately they were forces to be reckoned with but together it was impossible to break through any walls they erected.

"Everything." Trip stood up. They'd given them phasers, modifications to the antimatter intermix, and various improvements to the power relays and power distribution throughout the ship. They'd even given them ideas for the next generation of starships. Hoshi was happily learning the Tholian language and incorporating it and the other new data they'd learned about the various races into the UT and database.

There was technology that they weren't ready for and Trip feared the damage the R and D folks could cause if they charged forward and tried to develop the warp drive or weaponry Defiant had using the raw materials and knowledge currently available. He still felt bound by the prime directive Captain Tucker had operated under and made him promise to uphold so he did not bring the data with him from the other universe. Tucker operated in a different world in his timeline with access to knowledge and raw materials through their alliances with so many other species than Trip did. Earth had gotten there in two universes so he had no doubt they would get there in this one when the time was right. He and T'Pol jointly retained much of the information in their minds and would make use of it if and when it became feasible to do so. In the meantime, he and T'Pol would do their best to steer the various disciplines to pursue the next logical step in the progression of their technology.

"Take a break while I see what I can do to convince Starfleet that this is all they're going to get." Archer watched as the pair left the room.

T'Pol reached for his hand and he pulled back. "Maybe we should reconsider the whole touching in public thing." The effect of seeing themselves displayed on every newsstand or vidscreen had been traumatic, especially for T'Pol. Many of the Vulcans she knew had already seen them holding hands so it did not come as a shock, but before they left Earth she had encountered some who saw it as a betrayal to her Vulcan heritage. Now that they were home Trip wished to spare her any more humiliation just to satisfy a need to touch her in public.

"Why would we need to reconsider holding hands?"

"Not sure I want to see anymore images of us flashed across the universe. It's not worth all the pain it causes."

"I have held your hand in the presence of my own people when my culture finds it unacceptable and you want us to stop in the presence of humans when it is acceptable for human couples?" She took his hand. "This is a sign of affection, intimacy, and support for my bondmate and you will not deny me this pleasure." It was the one concession she'd made for his culture and she would not take it back.

He smiled, squeezed her hand, feeling her resolve, and knew she would not give in on this. "No I won't and you're right." He stepped off the lift, up into the observation deck, and took a seat at the window watching the stars.

After several minutes T'Pol joined him in meditation but when she realized where he was her apprehension took over.

He immediately registered her misgivings. "It's alright. I'm not trying to bury anything I just like it here. It's not like before."

It looked the same but felt different. The temperature was comfortable, their bond was wide open, and all Trips' fatigue, and frustration was evident. He had it reined in but he was not suppressing it.

"I come here because I can just lay back and float in the stars. No noise, no distractions, just me, and all those wild dreams I had as a boy about being out here exploring." When he first came here it was a good idea but then he'd taken things to the extreme. Now it was peaceful and free of all the worries and pressures of the real world and here he could let it all go for a short time.

"Your version of a Vulcan's white space."

"Sort of, but I think I'm going to come here to practice keeping my emotions in check." A huge jolt of apprehension surged through his mind. "Not suppressed like I was trying before but just more in my control when I need them to be." There seemed to be more and more instances where he needed to remain unemotional for short periods of time. "You know everything I'm thinking eventually so there's no need to worry." Their bond now made it impossible for either of them to hide more than minor things from each other. Him trying to hide his emotions from her for any length of time was impossible and she knew that.

"Just be careful. You are human not Vulcan."

"Got it. Everything in moderation. Any help you're willing to give me would be appreciated." He could hear Dr. Phlox now. 'Commander Tucker you are a very intelligent young man. What would ever possess you to embark on such a course without fully understanding the practice?' The doc had been right. He hadn't bothered to ask questions about what the effects were for a Vulcan let alone for an emotional human. When he finally did investigate Kolinahr he wondered how many Vulcans took that path for the same reasons he had and if any of them suffered long-term consequences for making such an ill-advised decision.

---

"What exactly is this we're making?" Trip started picking through the ingredients she had laid out on the table.

"It is a variation of tarmeeli balkra (Vegetable casserole). You requested something hot and spicy."

He poked at the gelatinous thing with what looked like a spine running through it. "I thought you didn't eat fish?"

"These are not fish they are from an aluk plant."

"A fish plant that has little vertebrae? Ah....maybe I should just skip this one." They were slimy like oysters and looked like an insect of sorts.

"Think of it as you do eggs. They are similar in texture until they are cooked and you do not find them objectionable."

"Eggs don't have backbones that make me think they're alive." He picked up one of the plants on a fork and laid it on her bare skin. "See it looks like something crawling up your arm."

She quickly flicked her arm and flung it at him. "I just had a shower and I do not wish to have another one before dinner."

He reflexively moved away from the movement, grabbing handfuls of vegetables as he did so. He soon began pelting her with them and she returned fire with several more of the aluk plants knowing the slimy feel against his skin would make him crazy.

"Trip, I need you..." T'Pol's aim was perfect if Trip had remained where he was standing but he ducked down and Captain Archer stepped directly on the line of fire as the spatula T'Pol was firing the aluk plants at Trip with snapped forward.

The expression on his face as the plants slide down the side of his neck and inside his shirt sent Trip rolling in laughter across the floor. Last time he'd suckered T'Pol into a food fight was in her mom's kitchen. She again had that Vulcan non-expression on her face but inside she was mortified.

He used the bond to try and calm her._ "It's fine T'Pol. We're off-duty having a little fun and....and he wasn't invited."_ His laughter took over again. Ignoring the obvious Trip plowed ahead. "You…uh..you...needed something Captain?"

T'Pol responded sharply to her mate. "_The captain will think it's 'fine' just as my mother did?"_

"A shower." His fingers flicked the goo from inside his shirt onto the floor. Archer surveyed the damage and knew this had to be Trip's doing. Until now he'd have bet against ever seeing T'Pol in a food fight but Trip had a way of coaxing her into going along with his more private and playful antics these days.

"_She got over it once we cleaned up the kitchen and we'll clean this up so just try to relax. Don't let Jon spoil this." _These unplanned times when T'Pol let go were infrequent so Trip just wanted to enjoy it.

"I apologize Captain." She turned away pretending to continue cooking their dinner.

Archer could almost swear she was smiling. He couldn't see it but somehow he thought he could sense it. Trip on the other hand was enjoying himself immensely. "I really need to remember to warn you next time." He should say something about them acting like teenagers in high school but he was so glad to see them happy and together he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"We've had a distress call from a planet. I had Travis change course. We should be there mid-morning."

"Was there any information letting us know what the emergency is?"

"Hoshi says it sounds like some kind of technological problem. The language is complex but she thinks she has the major parts of the language down. She's going to contact them as soon as we're within range."

"I'll get a team ready first thing." Trip made a quick mental note for later.

"The initial team will be you, me, and Malcolm. Hoshi will stay in contact with the planet and T'Pol you'll need to monitor everything from here until we know what the problem is and if it's safe to send down any other teams." He watched for signs of discomfort at their being separated but saw none.

Archer left the pair to whatever they had planned for the rest of the evening. They often made themselves scarce when they were off duty. They started disappearing when Phlox ordered them off–duty this last time. When they weren't in their quarters or on sensors, he'd asked Malcolm where they were. Reed explained they were over the catwalk in a space impenetrable by any sensory input and that he'd helped them install alarms so they would be alerted in an emergency. Archer didn't ask any more questions. They deserved the time off and whatever it was this place provided them and he knew where to find them if he needed them.

A/N: IbeKoj wrote: "Although I hope that you'll permit Trip to create his version of suppressing his emotions in case of need but with the special measures of precaution (maybe under the vigil and careful tutoring by T'Pol)." I had already done what you suggested before your review but I like it when my readers see things the same way I do so I tweaked my original a bit.

Also I'm continuing stories in both universes but will alternate chapters, clearly identifying RU or MU in the title, because Trip and T'Pol have returned to their own universe and need to tie up the loose ends of their story and the MU Tucker and T'Pol have stubbornly decided they have more to add to their part of the story.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Perceptual Experiences in Direct Opposition to Those in Power (MU)**

"I told you we should have asked security to come with us." Tucker fired his phase pistol again. "I'm going to work my way around behind them, you keep them busy."

"Be careful." T'Pol hadn't taken his comments seriously. When she insisted her people were not violent and would not resort to kidnapping or worse as Tucker had suggested, he acquiesced without further protest.

"Always. I just spent weeks mastering not getting shot remember." But his training was supposed to be about fighting the Empire but so far he'd been fighting supposed members of the resistance.

"Commander Tucker." Tucker couldn't locate the voice but he knew who it was.

"Mickey glad you could make it. There's three of them. All Vulcan. Two about 10 meters back behind that statue and another one in that doorway to the right." Lt. Commander Mikakalas, was the new Rigelian Head of Security on Defiant, or Mickey as Tucker had started calling him during his time training his squad these last several weeks.

"You couldn't wait till we broke orbit before kivetching someone off?"

Translator didn't translate every word in every language but Tucker had no trouble figuring out what he meant. "All I did was go see a doctor. Can't help it if they don't like me."

"If this is just because they don't like you we really need to do something about your people skills. Although I'm told the Vulcan's can be rather intolerant, when they feel one has done something to dishonor their heritage."

"I guess they don't think they can trust a human." Tucker finally saw where the Rigelian was positioned.

That was most likely the problem here the security officer reasoned. "Count to twenty and then you take care of the guy in the doorway and we'll take care of the other two." He needed time to maneuver for a clear shot at the two Vulcans. From what he could see they were members of the Council's elite guard.

"Two more to your left T'Pol." Tucker yelled as the Vulcans came into view. He watched her step out and fire at the moving targets. Hitting one in the side.

Tucker hit his comm badge. "Mickey I spotted two on the roof. Can you handle the ground?"

"Yeah I brought backup. They should be in position any minute. Do what you have to do and we'll cover you." This was serious if the Vulcans were sending elite soldiers in these numbers after them.

Backup and having someone cover him were new concepts for Tucker. His squad and now the crew of Defiant had all pledged to defend each other. The weeks of training had been difficult because along with survival he was trying to unlearn his previous training, which said watch your back and never trust the guy standing next to you because he most likely was there to see that you didn't make it back alive. More often than not they'd had more extensive fighting and weapons training than Tucker, but that was no longer the case.

His and T'Pol's lives depended on them so trust was going to have to be a given until they gave him reason not to trust them. "Make sure no one gets near Commander T'Pol."

"Vulcans start survival training as soon as they can walk. She scored 95% and above on every test we gave her and could kick my ass on her worst day."

Tucker snapped at him letting loose a small portion of the anger he was holding in. "I know she can take care of herself but you make damn sure nothing happens to her. Understood."

The Rigelian feeling the sting of his order was glad it came through the comm and not in person. He'd heard that Tucker and the Vulcan were involved but he hadn't believed it until now. "Yes, sir." A human and a Vulcan. That really was the explanation everyone was looking for as to why the engineer betrayed the Terrans.

---

"Who wants to go first?" Captain Vorack waited.

Tucker stood there arms clenched tightly around his chest, watching his new captain waiting, trying to decide which one of them he would yell at first. The engineer shifted his weight from one foot to the other slightly uncomfortable standing there. Forrest and Archer both would have demanded answers already and shot or had security torture whomever they decided was responsible but Vorack sat there leaning back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest waiting for one of them to respond.

Mickey became impatient, watching the two size each other up and stuck his elbow in Tucker's side indicating he was the one who should explain. When Tucker didn't speak he'd had enough. "I got there after the first weapons were fired and protected my superior officers. That's all I know."

Tucker finally gave up and responded. "Commander T'Pol came with me to an appointment, the Vulcans ambushed us, then the Vulcans showed up, we stunned them all, and here we are." He tried to keep the mask on his face to hide the anger he felt but his voice gave it away.

Tucker was an enigma to the head of security. During training, he started off quietly raging at being the sole target of many of the opposing forces training him. Then suddenly he started to drop off the sensors only to show up at the designated targets, having dispatched many of the enemy teams, and by the end of training his squad showed up close behind him. The only sign they ever found of Tucker's path was the trail his squad mates left as they followed the markers he must have left for them. Markers they could only surmise existed because they were never seen, having been removed, or covered over by the squad's movements. The Rigelian didn't know where the Vulcan fit into his internal world but could see that some powerful and deeply rooted emotions drove the human and he had a single-mindedness that made it possible for him to quickly learn what he needed to know to survive.

Mickey was aware that he had to be in possession of technology to mask his lifesigns, which broke no rules, as the only rule was meet your objective and survive by any means available. But it made him curious as to where he'd obtained it and who had suggested he utilize it during training.

The security team had located them easily so Tucker must carry that device on his person, activating it when he needed to become invisible and avoid detection. It was the only explanation for how he'd stunned the two Vulcan elites on the roof, then kicked them over the side, as he stood there watching as they hit the ground. Against all odds, the Vulcans were still alive. Mickey had seen the rage burning in Tucker's eyes that said he'd wanted them dead.

"Yes, that's what all the reports say happened. Eight Vulcans all stunned and left unconscious." Vorack agreed shaking his head. "And the Vulcans have filed a formal request that we hand you two over to them?"

Barely keeping his emotions contained he asked, "Where the hell did the Vulcans get the idea they have the authority to detain us? We're supposed to be fighting the empire not each other." He'd reasoned that because T'Pol was Vulcan it was possible they had some jurisdiction over her but they should have none over him.

"They weren't very forthcoming with their reasoning. It was something to do with a Vulcan citizen defying her government and a human's unnatural influence on her. But it doesn't matter because even though the Vulcans think they run things, they don't. The Leadership Council unanimously rejected the request before the Vulcans even had a chance to argue. They've been asked to leave and I'd like you both to remain on board the ship until they're gone in the morning." Captain Vorack knew enough about the Vulcans to know they had raised several objections to a human being allowed any position within the resistance and certainly not one with the authority he had been given and with full, open access to what was now their best weapon in this war.

Frustration quickly turned to anger. "So what they go rogue on us and we're restricted to the ship? And if we choose not to stay aboard?" Might as well push and find out where the lines were. Tucker had never been on good terms with his superiors so why start now.

Vorack could see the anger building in the human's demeanor. "It's not an order unless it has to be. You're not even officially on duty." They'd come back early to get out of the barracks and avoid having to find lodging on the planet or that's what they'd said when they requested to come aboard. "I'd rather not order you so I'm asking you to take precautions. One of which is to wait until the Vulcans break orbit before going back down to the planet." He could have made it an order but wanted to see what Tucker might do.

The reports had been accurate. Tucker had a hair trigger on his temper, but those same reports said his squad mates trusted him and every member from Defiant's crew had requested to be in his squad during their recent training. Many others had after they realized he had a special talent for evading the enemy and staying alive.

His new captain had no doubts that his skills as an engineer were well above average even amongst the most technically advanced races. The concern was that his experience and training with Starfleet had brought about such deep-seated anger, distrust, and paranoia that he would not adjust to his new situation. His new captain saw the coldness others described but on several occasions he'd observed him and he saw a flicker of something else whenever Commander T'Pol was involved or nearby. He would refrain from drawing any conclusions about his chief engineer until he could draw them from his own observations.

Tucker turned and left without saying another word.

"Well that's a new record. The Vulcans want him and he hasn't even met them."

"That's not true, sir. You know how the Vulcans are so I haven't been able to confirm this but my sources are Vulcan. The word is that the commanders met with the Council yesterday and when they left two guards were unconscious." Mickey had several Vulcans in security and several had told him about the meeting.

"Do you know what the meeting was about?" Vorack was interested in what a human could have had to discuss with the Vulcan Council and how they'd allowed him or them to render two of their guards unconscious.

"When I asked Tucker he said they didn't like him. I didn't tell him that's nothing unusual. I haven't met one of their council's 'diplomats' that had any use for non-Vulcans."

"They did say T'Pol disobeyed them and he's influencing her. I imagine they probably don't like that, especially because he's human. And he doesn't strike me as somebody who'd take their objections lightly." Vulcan had the most interaction with the Terrans, due to their vicinity, and presented a cooperative and diplomatic front. But under all that stoicism was some real animosity.

"Starfleet spent the last ten years making him the way he is so it's going to take some time to smooth off some of those hard edges."

"Then I'm depending on you to keep them both out of trouble, at least until we leave orbit." Vorack was hopeful because the Vulcans had only been stunned so he wasn't so out of control that he'd killed them.

"I'll keep an eye on him." Mickey would assign security to both commanders and leave orders that he be informed if they left the ship.

---

"Commander Tucker." The comm sounded.

Tucker touched his chest where his comm badge should have been but it wasn't there. "Have you seen my comm?"

T'Pol reached up and tapped her own to activate it.

"Yes, Commander T'Pol."

"Thanks." Tucker mouthed while moving close enough to be heard. "This is Tucker."

"Commander, your sister is here to see you. Would you like us to escort her to your location or would you like to meet her elsewhere?" The Comm officer asked.

"Send her here, Lieutenant." He couldn't remember his name. He was going to have to get the names of the new crewmembers down but he was on information overload again and they kept trying to stuff more and more into his brain. Names, species, vital facts about said species until he couldn't take anymore and nothing was making the transition from short-term to long-term memory.

He looked around the room. While searching for replacements to repair the damage to his office T'Pol had located a spare computer terminal and was helping him set it up here so they could use it to re-calibrate the systems on the shuttles. "Let's get that last connection finished before they get down here." Once that was completed it would be a natural place to take a break.

"Hey big brother." Lizzie bounced into the bay.

He checked to be sure his uniform wasn't to dirty and gave her a hug. "Hey, sis." He was glad she'd gotten back before they left. It felt good to hold her like this. She seemed much more relaxed than the last time he'd spoken to her. Much more like the Lizzie he'd grown up with. He stepped back and studied her face. The darkness was still there but not like it was just weeks before.

"I got your message two days after we left. The tour was still great though. I saw some pretty spectacular architecture and there are a couple of places that look like interesting places to live." She'd been upset when his message arrived but then decided not to let it ruin her trip.

"That's good news." He wanted her away from the area where the resistance was located. It would be safer. He turned to tell T'Pol to come over. "Lizzie this is T'Pol, my mate." He felt T'Pol's stunned reaction at his bluntness and he waited for his sister's. Girlfriend didn't cover it and the Vulcan term was the most accurate description of what they were.

His word choice confused her. She wasn't sure exactly what he meant. "Somehow I don't think you mean mate as in friend so you must mean mate as in sexual partner."

He knew she'd been so blunt for the shock value but not much shocked him anymore and he wouldn't let her know it if it had. But his lack of reaction was more than made up for by the internal one he felt from T'Pol. "Those might not be the best descriptions of mates for a Vulcan. It's more than that. We're not legally married but we might as well be." He'd let the slight go, after all he'd been rather abrupt himself, so he chose to expand on her meaning to get a point across to Lizzie.

Lizzie looked at T'Pol. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He always drove our parents crazy because he refused to do what was expected." She gave them both an exasperated look. "So you're the reason he joined the resistance?"

Her comment had been directed at T'Pol but Tucker tried to head off whatever this was. "We haven't talked about it so T'Pol doesn't really know why I joined. And while it's true I probably wouldn't have joined them if I hadn't gotten involved with her, she didn't do or say anything to make me." Without T'Pol, it was doubtful he would have known of the existence of resistance members on Enterprise making his joining them unlikely.

It felt strange defending T'Pol to his sister when he didn't really see why he should have to. "The Empire wasn't something I ever believed in, you know that. It was just what was but I believe in what the resistance is fighting for so I decided we should leave Starfleet." He wondered then if T'Pol had considered what he would think about her involvement with the resistance before she bonded with him. He hadn't ever believed in fate but she had chosen him, the only human he knew of, on Enterprise, that would take up this fight with her.

"You decided to leave?" This surprised Lizzie.

"I made my decision then I talked to T'Pol and she agreed and here we all are." He rearranged the details a bit but Lizzie didn't need to know exactly what had happened. It would only confuse her and put her in danger.

He saw her trying not to stare at his scar. His hand went up to his cheek. "It's okay. I'm alive that's what's important." The doctor he and T'Pol had gone to left word that he was scheduled for surgery. "We've seen a doctor here who says he's going to do some repair work around my eye and do some procedure, day after tomorrow, to soften the rest of the tissue." The doctor claimed that would make the appearance less severe.

"Does it hurt?" She watched T'Pol and couldn't understand why Tucker's talk about his scar had no affect on her.

"The skin's tight and it pulls sometimes and my eye hurts if I try to use it too much. I've gotten used to it." T'Pol would stroke the back of her fingers down his cheek often, he guessed to make him see that it didn't matter to her, and he had been trying to adopt her attitude but something about Lizzie's gaze was making him uncomfortable.

"Perhaps we should take Lizzie to the Mess Hall or we could show her your quarters. Have you ever been on a starship before?" T'Pol moved to stand behind him, letting the pleading show in her eyes hoping the young woman understood.

"Actually the only ships I've been on aren't really ships. They were shuttles. And why do you have quarters on this ship still?" She had thought he was here doing some engineering job before the ship left orbit.

"We've been assigned to Defiant. We'll be breaking orbit soon." He noted the look she shot at T'Pol.

"You're not staying on Xindus?"

"No, we need to be on Defiant to learn more about the systems and technology. We'll be fighting but we'll also be searching for new raw materials to use and then using what we learn to create new designs and help build more ships. And we need to find ways to use the technology on other ships and on our shuttles." He downplayed their fighting role so as not to alarm Lizzie. Keeping Defiant moving made it harder for the Empire to locate them and putting it's firepower to work for them was necessary. His engineering skills meant he could best be of help by learning how to utilize the technology on Defiant out in space.

The flicker of light in her eyes dimmed. Being the only human had ceased being a problem for Tucker, he had T'Pol and shipmates, with shared goals and interests that he was just beginning to know and even like a little. But Lizzie was on a planet full of different species and not one of them was human and none of them knew her. Tucker was just now realizing how lonely she might be and finding that he had a mate and plans to return to space may have been more than she was prepared to deal with.

Lizzie caught the hand moving behind his back, then the flex in his upper arm when he squeezed the Vulcan's hand. Her face hardened. "Was there anything about aliens in those docu-things the Empire subjected us to that was true?"

Tucker didn't know where this came from. "I don't know. The last time I watched anything the Empire produced was when Dad made me sit through that propaganda about the 'real Starfleet' when I was what fourteen or fifteen. And judging the rest of their 'real' dramas by that piece of fiction I'd have to say no. Was there something specific you wanted to know? I don't know a lot about most of them myself and what I do know probably isn't the kind of stuff you'd want to know." He was learning first aid. Pulse rates, vital organs, things he needed to know to ensure the survival of his crewmates. "But if I can't answer your questions, I'm sure T'Pol can."

"I've been asking questions and most of the aliens I've met warm up eventually but others don't say much and some of them I don't think make friends ever." Her eyes sought out T'Pol. She wanted to know about other species, but right now, she wanted to know about Vulcans. The ones she'd met had been somewhat polite and helpful, but they had not been fountains of information. In fact, she hadn't been able to engage any of them in any casual conversations. She'd definitely have to try harder because she needed to know what to do to get her brother away from this Vulcan.

"You'll find all the original crew on this ship, no matter what their species, are more open. Most of them were sent to Starfleet at a young age or were raised by humans and have only recently learned of their own cultures." She didn't specifically add the Vulcans but T'Pol saw that Lizzie got the point just as she had gotten Lizzie's point.

T'Pol removed a padd from the work area and attached the data link on the terminal. She then handed the padd to Lizzie. "This contains the data from our database on all the species including the Xindi. It should answer most of your questions." T'Pol knew this to be untrue having no doubt that the questions Lizzie wanted answers to were of a more personal nature.

Lizzie moved closer to Tucker as she stared down at the padd. Tucker remained quiet as he watched some communication he didn't quite understand between the two. He wasn't sure what he'd missed but it seemed the information on that padd was all the information T'Pol was going to share. Whatever this was, he was sure he was at the center of it.

"Let's go get something to eat I'm starving." Tucker started to leave. Lizzie's hand grasped his and she quickly began dragging him towards the door. He pulled her to a stop and rotated back around to face T'Pol. "Are you coming?"

The meal had been excruciating. Both T'Pol and Lizzie spoke in clipped tense sentences to start with then T'Pol just stopped talking altogether leaving him to field Lizzie's endless questions. He didn't understand what went wrong. They seemed okay when he first introduced them but now Lizzie was being rude, clingy, and possessive. Not like his sister at all.

Tucker slipped up behind her as she refilled her cup. "Are you okay?"

"We are in the Mess Hall?" She was half-teasing him but there was a certain tenseness in her words.

"I'm not touching you and as hard as it is not to I wouldn't embarrass you." She was much more expressive than most Vulcans and it was as hard for her as it was for him but there were lines he was becoming aware she would not cross. He stepped back slightly not sure how serious she really was. "You didn't answer my question."

"Your sister believes I have bewitched you."

He chuckled at how close her description was. "Well, she's not far off on that but I guess I better explain it was a mutual bewitching. I should have told her about you when I spoke to her earlier or when I sent that message but I didn't think it would be a problem. And I didn't know she would think I was staying here." This bond was hard to read sometimes, especially when one or the other was defensive and pulled back. "Can you leave us alone? I'll talk to her and then I'll take her to see my quarters." He'd sent Lizzie a message that he was joining the resistance and would be on Xindus soon. Telling her more hadn't seemed important since he'd been in Starfleet until now and would have been away from her anyway.

"I will see you later." T'Pol turned to leave.

"T'Pol." He waited till he could see her face. "I will see you later." He gave her a slight smile.

---

"T'Pol left?"

"I asked her to so you and I can talk." He'd been prepared for her to be upset with him for uprooting her life but not for her to take it all out on T'Pol.

"You've changed. You sound upset." He'd never been angry with her before or if he had been he'd never let her know it.

He was a bit upset with her. "I have changed and not for the better, in most cases. But I'm not going to discuss that with my little sister. What I do want to discuss is why you're being rude to T'Pol?"

"I wasn't being rude. But she's not right for you."

"Yes you were being rude and who I chose to be with is not up to you. And I know how all this must be making you feel, especially since it's my fault you're stuck out here in the first place but it's the best I can do." His speech came quicker as his agitation stepped up.

Indignant she asked, "Couldn't you be like other guys and just take her to bed without making some long-term commitment and turning your life over to her?"

Until this very moment, he thought he liked it when people were direct. "Look, I know it must have been a shock to be taken away from your life and whisked off to a planet light years away from Earth with no other humans. And I wish it wasn't necessary to keep you safe but things happened and I made choices and that meant I had to make sure no one could get to you. If you're going to blame anyone for this, blame me." The look in her eyes said she'd like nothing more than to eliminate T'Pol much as he was sure his parents would if they were present.

"You don't really care about her?" Lizzie had never known her brother to be interested in any woman and T'Pol wasn't even human. He'd only ever cared about his engines and getting away from home.

"You know nothing about who or what I care about. T'Pol is always going to be with me so get used to it." The volume went up as did the sharpness in his voice drawing the attention of those in the room.

"You said it yourself, things change." They weren't married so there was still a possibility that one of them would find someone else. She would just have to find ways to help that along.

"Not for Vulcans they don't. They don't have casual relationships. They mate for life, and that means so have I." He was beginning to feel as if she was reaching in and ripping and pulling his insides out.

"You said you weren't married so that means you can still find someone more suited to you."

He'd just started getting comfortable with them being together forever and hadn't considered that they were for all intents and purposes married , but of course he couldn't even begin to explain that to Lizzie, so he'd have to let her and everyone else believe they were less than what they were. "We aren't married but that doesn't matter. We're together and there's nothing that can change that." He wasn't getting through to her and that determined look in her eyes said she was going to try. "I'm not going to ask T'Pol to put up with this attitude of yours so if you want to spend time with me you better turn on that pretentious southern charm of yours." That fake smile and southern charm every women in the south learned to turn on and off like a light switch. He'd been trained to be the 'perfect' southern gentleman and still could if needed, but he'd found little use for wasting his energy on being charming since joining Starfleet.

"What? I play nice with your 'mate' or you'll send me away?"

"Yep. T'Pol will tell me to spend time with you without her but I'm not going to do that to her or myself." It wasn't fair to him or T'Pol and it would only make him angrier that he had to play silly games he'd never been good at and keep one part of his life separate from the rest to keep the peace.

The brother she'd grown up with would never do this. "You really have changed."

"You really don't want to know how much. Just know I won't always play nice even with you, so be careful." He knew how volatile his temper could be and if she didn't stop pushing him about T'Pol he wasn't sure he could stop himself from reacting badly.

She studied his movements. This wasn't Tucker, the brother she loved, this was a stranger. "You're threatening me now? This Vulcan really has her claws all twisted up inside you, doesn't she?"

"Like I said if you want to be pissed at me or blame me then go right ahead but leave T'Pol out of this. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just warning you that I'm not the same as I was when you last saw me and T'Pol understands that in ways you never will." He couldn't tell her that the 'real Starfleet' is all about death, destruction, pain, and torture. And how much he had changed or why.

"I'm your family, she's nothing." She half-yelled at him.

Patience almost gone he pushed up out of his chair, bending over and across the table, speaking with a distressing coldness. "Yes you are family but you're wrong about T'Pol. And sister or not you'd better back off because if you hurt T'Pol I will...." The fear in her eyes startled him. He pulled back a little and saw the disbelief that he'd speak to her that way. He should have known he couldn't just go back and reclaim that part of himself and be that big brother she remembered. The one he'd buried so long ago. Straightening up, he pushed the anger deeper trying to keep it from exploding, turned his back, and almost ran out leaving her sitting at the table all alone.

---

T'Pol sensed his anger and found him in the shower stall. "Where is Lizzie?"

"If she's smart she's as far away from me as she can get." He cowered away from her.

"What happened?" She reached in and shut the water off.

"I threatened to...I wanted to...she thinks..." He kept banging his head against the wall.

"Stop." She placed her hand on his forehead before he made contact with the bulkhead again. "What is wrong?"

"Angry. So bad I wanted to hurt her because she blames you for everything." Lizzie only saw a small fraction of what he was truly feeling but it was enough to make her fear him.

That didn't explain the state he was in. "Isn't it your usual practice to disrobe before taking a shower?"

"Just needed the cold to snap me out of it." He'd learned this when he first joined Starfleet and his anger started to take over. Taking a cold shower had been helpful in shocking himself out of it.

She assumed he meant snap him out of his anger. "Wouldn't it have been more sensible to use the shower in your quarters?"

"Can't make the water cold enough in the crew quarters."

That must mean he'd purposely made adjustments to the settings in this shower to make it run colder. When he gave up pulling away she moved him from the stall and sat him on a bench and started wrapping towels around his shivering body trying to soak the water from his clothing. "Why would you wish to be so cold?"

The shaking worsened and his teeth were chattering. "The cold does something. Shocks my brain or something. It's the only way I know to make it stop." He'd needed to stop this irrational anger that kept grabbing hold of him. That feeling that sometimes took his anger and twisted it leaving him wanting to strike out and hurt whoever it was that made him angry. And he'd wanted to hurt Lizzie because she made him angry with her reaction to T'Pol.

"You could have come to me and asked for my assistance. It would have been much better than this." T'Pol took his hands in hers.

---

Lizzie left the Officer's Mess in search of her brother. She hadn't realized just how big Defiant was and had gotten lost on the turbolift. She'd gotten directions and returned to deck 2 and tried his quarters but got no answer. While attempting to figure out where to go next she saw T'Pol exit what she assumed was her quarters and head down the corridor. Following her seemed like the best way to locate Tucker.

When she entered the recreation area she found a place to stay out of sight. Her ears perked up at the sound of their voices.

---

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself." He again tried pulling free of her grasp.

"DO not fight me. It is a simple matter if you would relax and let me in." Tucker could see she only wanted to help him so he closed his eyes and tried to do as she asked.

"Breathe and let your mind drift." She felt him letting go. "Now concentrate on something that makes you feel relaxed." She felt his resistance and countered it with the words, "Trust me."

He didn't answer but she felt his focus drift to thoughts of the last night they'd slept together. She was cuddled up into his side with her head tucked against his chest sleeping. This thought brought on an instantaneous effect and his level of relaxation increased sharply.

"What are you doing?" His eyes remained closed and the angry feelings seemed to explode onto his inner lids into this black cloud then he watched as the color became lighter and the cloud lost it's size and intensity while sinking into nothingness.

His focus began to falter and thoughts of losing his temper and harming her came to mind. "You cannot harm me. You know this. Our bond would not allow it, nor would you." He hadn't harmed her when he lost his temper with her and he had more than enough cause to want to then and he couldn't let himself do it. And she was very aware that the bond had not been the force that stopped him.

"Are you sure? I got mad then she got mad and I scared her T'Pol, made her afraid of me. And worse I scared myself." He kept seeing that look in her eyes. "Could you have missed any of those barriers you put up in my head? We have to make this stop." Tucker touched his forehead. He had been thinking about the meld she'd done before. It was supposed to take care of this so obviously something more must be wrong. He was upset with Lizzie and he'd had good cause to be but then he suddenly became so angry he wasn't sure what he might do.

"You will not harm me anymore than I would harm you. And I removed all the barriers when we melded." Her research into human physiology had opened up many possible explanations for his continued lack of control. They needed to reconsider his decision not to meld to recover the memories she had hidden from him but she feared his reaction to hearing he would have to suffer through more pain to correct the damage she had caused. Now was not the time to tell him.

"Let's get you to your quarters and get you into some dry clothes. You must be freezing." He wasn't shaking as badly but it still wasn't healthy to remain wet and cold like this.

"I am." He stood up.

---

She had moved out slightly from her hiding place to get a better view of what they were doing but all she saw was her brother wrapped in towels sitting there with his eyes closed while that Vulcan did something strange to him. They were bonded? What was a meld? What had she done to him? Were melds and those barriers some kind of Vulcan mind control that she was using to hold onto him? Get him to forget his true family? Turn on her? More questions to add to the list of things she needed to learn about Vulcans. Lizzie could hear others coming into the rec area so she slipped out before someone saw her and told Tucker she was there. She'd have to hurry and get back and make it appear as if she'd been waiting for him to return to his quarters to say goodbye.

---

She directed him out the door at the other end of the room so they wouldn't have to go through the main area and explain his wet clothing to anyone. "You cannot abandon your sister. You are the only person she has here and she is your family."

"I have no intention of abandoning her but she's having trouble accepting my life as it is. I hadn't given it much thought but I'm not the same guy who left Earth ten years ago and I don't think she liked the guy she met today. Besides that, she's convinced you have some magical sexual powers that have stripped me of my ability to think for myself and I just handed my life over to you." Maybe giving her whatever she wanted growing up had set them up for this current mess.

"She believes a female could actually exercise control over a male with sex?" Vulcans were capable of mind control and she had used it to an extent with Tucker but she would never had been able to use a physical relationship to control Tucker as the bond would have exerted itself forcefully to prevent it as it had already begun to do to interfere with her continued use of mind control. That a human woman could be capable of such things with no mental abilities to assist her, T'Pol was sure was not possible.

He'd thought the same thing when he first learned about their bond but that was before he realized she was more repressed than he was and that the bond forged an intimacy between the mates that enhanced their physical attraction but was not responsible for its existence. He laughed from deep in his belly. "It has been known to happen but she doesn't understand how ridiculous it sounds to accuse a Vulcan of such a thing."

He didn't even want to imagine that discussion with his sister. What could he say? 'Look Lizzie you've got the wrong idea. Vulcans don't quite get the whole sex thing, except when they lose all their inhibitions every seven years, so accusing her of trying to hold on to me that way makes no sense.' Not likely because then he'd have to get past the weirdness involved in talking to his little sister about anything sexual in the first place and betray T'Pol, which he might have considered before, but not now.

T'Pol caught his attempt to hide the yawn. The shivering was taking its toll on him and he needed to get out of these wet clothes. "Let's get you back to your quarters and warm again." She was sure once his body temperature returned to normal the weariness would overcome him and he'd sleep for several hours.

He started to argue but then realized she was right, he needed to get dry. "Sounds good." And he needed to think about something else besides his sister's misplaced anger at T'Pol.

They continued down the corridor then he stopped and turned back towards the Mess. "I need something warm to drink." He smiled at her. It was still an unfamiliar thing for him but it was starting to feel more and more natural these days, but it always seemed there was hurt and anger lingering around the edges of everything.

She turned in the opposite direction and began walking toward his quarters. "I will get whatever you wish while you change." The senior officer's quarters were at one end of Deck 2 and the officer's Mess and Lounge were at the other end.

"You don't have to do that. I'm capable of getting things for myself." He took a step forward then stopped when he felt the resistance of her arm holding him. He could sense her displeasure at his insistence on going to the Mess and his continued resistance to her assisting him.

"If you say so, but what do you plan to say when asked why you are wet?" She had him and she knew it.

Saying he took a shower fully clothed would lead to the inevitable questions of where and why. There were no acceptable answers and being an engineer didn't help because doing his job usually meant staying dry to avoid electrocution and if he was wet at work it was not from water. "You win." He followed her to his room and found Lizzie waiting outside the door.

"Lizzie." He was surprised to see her and it showed in his expression. He pressed his thumb into the pad to open the door. He motioned inward with his hands. "Ladies." His head and their expressions told him neither of them was feeling very lady-like at the moment.

T'Pol entered followed by Lizzie. Tucker closed the door and waited. T'Pol continued into the bedroom where they could hear her opening drawers. Lizzie looked around and saw no signs that the Vulcan lived here. In fact, except for the cup on the desk and candles and a pillow on the floor there were no signs that anyone lived here. Lizzie did note the ease with which the Vulcan had entered her brother's bedroom and dug through his dresser and his lack of objection when she returned, handed him the pile of selected clothing, and instructed him to go change. He hesitated momentarily thinking it unwise to leave the two alone but then decided he was too cold to stay and it was a good test of how seriously Lizzie had taken his warning.

"I will get that drink you asked for." T'Pol volunteered.

"That can wait. Keep Lizzie company for me." His back was to the door as he closed it. T'Pol's empathic abilities were much stronger than his were so he directed his attention to the bond to see what he could pick up from Lizzie. Tension and anger. There was so much tension between the two he was sure he'd be able to see it when he left the bathroom.

He leaned heavily on his arms and pushed his forehead into the mirror. 'I really don't want to go out there but I can't expect T'Pol to stay with her much longer.' T'Pol wouldn't hurt her but it wasn't fair to ask her to remain in a situation that required her to suppress so many emotions because Lizzie was important to him.

Once he came out, Lizzie moved hurriedly to hug him. "I really just wanted to say good-bye. I'll see you soon." She turned her back on them and left.

---

"The doctor says I can go. Says my vision will clear up in the next few days once the nerves readjust to the light. He also says I need to be sure I don't forget that the nerve that controls the eyelid isn't completely healed so I have to remember to close it whenever my eye feels dry or tired." He'd need to tell his brain to close the lid or physically do it himself until the regenerated nerve took over on its own. If the pain became to intense he was to use a patch to cover it for an hour or so to give the nerves time to relax again.

The doctor had repaired the eyelid. There was still scar tissue present but the blueness of his eye overshadowed any imperfection for T'Pol. It had been so long since she'd seen both his eyes gazing out at her. She'd missed it more than she would have thought possible. The normal twinge of guilt accompanied her realization. Some deeply ingrained idea that these feelings were wrong and she should suppress them is what she would now need to learn to suppress.

She watched as he reached up to remove the last bandage that covered the rest of his cheek. The tissue underneath was still pinkish but she could see the scarring was much less noticeable than before and she hoped it would lessen his self-consciousness.

Words would never pass her lips but they didn't need to for him to know. He soaked in all her wonder at how much his gaze affected her and he smiled to let her know he understood. All his discomfort fell away for a few moments until he saw the medic that brought him word on Lizzie earlier.

Evidently, she had come to be with him but he was already under anesthesia when she arrived. The medic said she adamantly refused to call on T'Pol to verify her identity and relationship to Tucker so was refused entry. Rather than give up her grievances and come support him, she'd left a good luck message and asked that he contact her before his ship left orbit.

He pushed the hurt out and focused on walking beside T'Pol. The surgery was over and his vision had been fully restored. Pain had been alleviated in his neck that he hadn't really perceived as having been a problem until it was gone. They walked and he continued letting her feelings wash over him and relieve all the tightness in his body from the stress surrounding this surgery and the situation with his sister.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews all. To answer a couple of inquiries. The aluk plant is Vulcan (aluk means fish in Vulcan) as is the dinner they were preparing (although the aluk wasn't an ingredient that I know of). I wrote the chapter using Trip squeamishness with insects then went looking for something to fit the bill so I didn't have to make it up but I didn't make a note of where it came from or I would have put that at the end of the chapter. I try to find things that are real to use if I can but don't always give credit like I should. Most of the time I use the VLD and Vulcan Institute data from the Star Trek geekopedia site.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**The Lack of Fluidness in the Perceptions Of Youth (RU)**

"I've got this. Would you stop and let me go do my job?" One more remark and he was going to lose it totally. Malcolm and the Captain had been talking and talking to him for what seemed like hours but in reality it had only been minutes.

"You weren't planning on going down there like that were you?" Captain Archer's mood had been rather relaxed until he'd had to listen to the Regent's complaints just before coming here and he was losing any hold he had on his patience and his chief engineer's appearance didn't help.

Doing a quick check it was obvious his current attire wasn't acceptable. "No, I'm going to go change. I'll take care of this." Trip headed off to get a clean uniform.

"_Commander you need to return the Andorians to the ship and assign another team to complete the assignment."_

"_No way Commander T'Pol. It's bad enough you're reading my thoughts but we've covered this how many times now. My mate can offer support, or affection, and calm me down this way but the first officer needs to use the comm."_

"_That is inefficient."_

He could feel her exasperation at his insistence that their bond was for personal use, exceptions were allowed when a situation called for immediate and direct action. Dealing with his staff did not qualify. _"Comm me or you know where to find me if you want to talk to me in person." _

The door to their quarters opened and T'Pol was on the other side. As exasperated as he could manage he asked, "Why do you do that if you're going to ambush me like this?" She'd kept tabs on his conversation with the Captain and blocked the bond so he wouldn't know she was waiting for him.

He'd started off being mad at this behavior until that first time he felt the hiccup of something every time she did this to him. Whatever it was spiked so quickly he could easily miss it but now he knew what to look for and it was there again. Being Vulcan she would never laugh but that spike of emotion sure produced something like the endorphin rush he experienced when he found something extremely humorous. This seemed to be her newest way to get under his skin and make him crazy and somewhere deep inside her cerebrum she'd discovered there was satisfaction in allowing herself this slightest hint of what he believed produced laughter in humans. And he found his own pleasure in playing along allowing her this secret outlet for expressing a forbidden emotion even though she wouldn't recognize it as such.

"I warned you about sending those two down to the planet unsupervised." She told him he should not allow the Andorians to be in charge.

He smiled at her, "Yes you did and so did Malcolm and the captain, but I still say I'm right. They need to work on their diplomacy and even you have to admit they're right about redoing that system." Trip just needed to find a way to convince Fric and Frac to apologize and put the system back the way it was since the Regent was not likely to listen to them after they ignored his decision to repair the system not rebuild it.

"That is not the point. They are being detained because they do not follow orders."

Irritated with today's constant berating of him about his command decisions he spat back at her. "That is the point because the only order I gave them was to fix the damn thing so technically they didn't disobey an order." He had mentioned not making him or Starfleet look bad but that wasn't really an order. "They were fixing it just not the way the Regent wanted them to. Everyone expects that they're going to turn into perfect officers like that..." He snapped his fingers. "...and it doesn't work that way." Shran got that so why didn't T'Pol and the Captain see that's why he'd left them with Trip. The commander enjoyed having them on his staff. He enjoyed their talent and he enjoyed their enthusiasm for engineering. He even enjoyed the constant challenges they presented him with.

"So what do you intend to do?" His abruptness signaled he had been pushed too far and wasn't willing to tolerate anymore criticism, even from her.

"Is this T'Pol or Commander T'Pol asking?" His tension eased a bit.

"Does it matter?"

"It won't change my answer but it might change my actions?" He came to within inches of her body, wanting to hold her close for just a minute to take in her centeredness to find his own, and stopped. It would also serve as a way to silently apologize for his shortness just now.

"We are still on duty."

"There are times I really hate that word. Somebody's not officially on 'duty' until he transports down to the planet..." He caught the stiffening of her arms, the movement of the corners of her mouth, and darker tint in her eyes. "...but I'll behave myself." His hands dropped to his sides.

He smiled, shaking his head, as he stepped back to finish stripping off the dirty uniform and moved towards the bathroom, hollering back over his shoulder, "I'm going to talk to the Regent and get him to agree to let me bring Fric and Frac back. After we discuss the problem I'll confine them to their quarters for the night. Then I'll see where we are in the morning."

"'See where we are in the morning', is that what you plan to tell the Captain when he inquires about how you resolved the problem?" As long as she'd known him, she should be used to his command style and his wait and see attitude but her training said he should have a plan before he spoke with the Regent.

"And if the Captain doesn't think I can do my job then I guess he's going to have to take over." Archer would want some clear cut plan and when he didn't get one Trip was sure his instinct would be to take charge. And Trip would stand back and let him try because in the end the Captain would have to rely on Trip and the Andorians or the job wouldn't get done. He had resolved to stand up to them both when he disagreed with them but he also resolved not to waste his time arguing in situations when regardless of what Archer or T'Pol wanted the outcome would go his way. No use creating hard feelings when he'd won the argument without saying a word.

T'Pol knew better than to argue with him any longer. It would only make him more determined to prove them wrong and distract him. "Do what you think is best."

He kissed her on the cheek on his way out. "Thanks for the support, T'Pol." Her way of supporting him was to tell him what she thought and then allow him to do what he thought was right as long as it didn't endanger the crew or break any regulations. He knew she didn't see things his way and knew he shouldn't be surprised by her reaction. It was so easy to forget the Vulcan sense of duty she operated under.

---

"So we should have done what they asked even when we know it will mean the system will break down again in a matter of months and cause more extensive damage than before?" Frac was clearly agitated.

"I know it doesn't make sense but if you explained it to them and they choose to go against your recommendations, then yes." Commander Tucker didn't believe what he was saying but he was supposed to be training them to be officers in a structured environment. It didn't help that he had been given orders to abide by. So he kept pouring all his strength into acting like he believed what he was saying.

"That is the same as not doing the job to the best of our ability. They'll blame us when the system breaks down again?" It didn't matter that they wouldn't be around they would still know they hadn't done the job right.

"Look, I understand why you did it but you can't just decide that what they wanted wasn't important and do things your own way." Trip heard the many officers throughout his career telling him the same thing and he hated it as much coming out of his mouth as he had when he heard it from theirs. But he clamped down on his instincts again. There was a time Trip would have done the same thing, in fact, he might have in this instance if he'd been in charge. But while he sympathized, as their commanding officer he had to keep telling himself it was his job to teach them discipline. "I could tell you what to do but I don't want to do that so I'm going to confine you to quarters tonight and we'll all go back down there in the morning. I expect you to find a way to fix this. My only suggestion is to plan on eating a healthy portion of 'humble pie' when you're talking to the Regent." Trip waited for them to ask for an explanation but they didn't so he left them to contemplate their next move.

Trip ran through his arguments on his way to the Captain's Ready Room. But Archer wasn't there when he arrived and Hoshi reported that he'd been held up on the planet at some dinner with the Regent. Reprieve. He'd take it he thought as he went to find T'Pol.

---

"Stop." Trip yelled as he tried to put himself between the Andorians and the Regent. His reactions weren't fast enough to prevent both fists from making contact with their target. He kept replaying the events trying to find an explanation for what had taken place. The Regent stepped between Fric and Frac and Trip was sure he'd said something to the pair but he hadn't heard what it was so was unsure if they were provoked into attacking him. He sat on the stone bench/bed in his cell and tried to see where everything went wrong and how he could have prevented it.

He heard the footsteps and turned to see Archer and T'Pol. "Captain, Commander T'Pol."

"Trip. Let's go with a friendly visit this time around because the official one will involve a lot of yelling and I'm just not up to it right now." Archer had had several hours of talking and yelling and his head hurt. First, he had a rather unproductive but heated discussion with the two Andorians, then he and the Regent argued, and once he explained the recent events he had to sit and listen to Admiral Gardner yell at him.

Archer was upset at what had taken place, but when his temper started to get the best of him, on his way here, he'd remembered Erika's words. He'd brought up being upset about Trip being gone, maybe lost forever, and Erika must have seen it as an opening because she told him a few things he could see she had been holding back for some time. Things like had he looked at his bridge crews faces when he threw one of his temper tantrums? How their faces all became much like T'Pol's as they stood there tolerating his antics. And how she was sure the worst of these episodes of his came about when Trip Tucker was involved. He'd questioned how she could say that when Trip might be lost in some other universe or worse dead. She responded that grief over the loss of a friend and officer was to be expected but his behavior affected everyone on Enterprise. And this wasn't the first time. She then pointed out that if she realized this was true, only seeing him as infrequently as she did, there was no way his crew hadn't come to the same conclusion. He'd made so many mistakes where Trip was concerned and maybe Erika was right and his behavior was having far-reaching affects on his crew. With this in mind he made a conscious effort to not lose his temper, do what only he as captain could do, then step back to allow Trip and his crew to work this out.

Anything to avoid another lecture was fine with Trip. "Are they going to let me out of here?" He wasn't clear on why they were holding him. Fric and Frac had attacked the Regent he had only been trying to stop them.

"They say it should be soon. There are no charges pending against you but you may be here until tomorrow. The wheels of justice seem to move slowly no matter what planet you're on." A series of procedural steps had to be followed before he could be released.

Trip watched Captain Archer calmly talking to him. No pacing, none of the usual signs of being upset with him. "What about the lieutenants?"

"They won't be released until they appear before a tribunal. I have Hoshi and Malcolm working on how the legal proceedings work here. They said they'd be by to see you later." They were reading a stack of documents that the Regent gave them that outlined the legal system here.

"The lieutenants have requested that Starfleet remain neutral and allow them to represent themselves." T'Pol informed both Trip and Archer.

Trip shook his head. "No way. How are they going to defend themselves in an unfamiliar legal system?" Trip kept getting this sensation of déjà vu like all this was so familiar but not quite. He dreaded explaining all this to Starfleet, he didn't want to have to explain to them and the Imperial Guard how it was he allowed the two to be imprisoned or worse for striking the Regent.

"Hoshi says they were reading through some data extremely early this morning after speaking to someone from this planet. When she asked for more from them they told her you told them to fix this and they thought they had figured out a way to do as you ordered them to do. When the captain and I visited they refused to say anything other than they knew what they were doing and that we should trust them."

"Well, I did tell them I expected them to fix it. I guess I should have stipulated without making matters worse." The Commander couldn't see any way they could correct the situation from jail. "Is it possible they found something we're missing?"

"They won't talk to me." The pair were polite and followed her orders but always made her feel as if they were only going along because of her relationship to Trip. "Maybe when you get out of here you can get them to tell you what they're up to." Captain Archer had tried ordering them to talk but they were not Starfleet officers that he could discipline with threats of court-martialing them or busting them out of service. They would simply have their time aboard Enterprise cut short and be sent back to the Imperial Guard a few weeks early.

Trip noted Archer was still standing in place. He turned his attention to T'Pol. "Did you try just talking to them T'Pol?"

"I do not see how that would have helped."

"It might have if you talked to them as my mate and not a superior officer."

T'Pol had come a long way towards being less formal with the crew but could never allow her personal relationships to influence her actions while acting as the First Officer. "Do you think they'll talk to you?"

"I think so. At least I hope so." They trusted him and he knew they wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his career so he was just going to have to go with that and see where this all went.

Archer stood back watching the pair. They still had the occasional issue when it came to being officers serving together but they maintained a balance between personal and professional. There was an ease between them even if they argued and they only seemed to argue about work related topics ando they were seldom, if ever, extended into their personal time. "I'm going to go find Malcolm and Hoshi. See what they've been able to find out about this tribunal. Contact the transporter room when you're ready to return to Enterprise, T'Pol." He walked away knowing the minute he was out of sight their professional demeanor would vanish. He also knew that T'Pol would make sure Trip was unharmed and would know before he did if there was anything to worry about.

"Sorry about this. Looks like I'm going to miss going to sleep with you tonight. I'll make it up to you." Trip reached through the bars and took her hands in his.

"You have nothing to apologize for or to make up to me? You were doing what you needed to do for your crew." Her Vulcan training told her to maintain a distance between her and her staff but Trip never would. He was Fric and Frac's commanding officer but he was also their friend and would defend them even if he thought they were wrong. But in this case he agreed with them. She suspected he'd stepped back and allowed the Andorians some latitude hoping they would be successful in convincing the Regent to their point of view but it had all gone wrong. And now Trip would see himself as responsible for not being the commander they needed and do whatever he needed to do to get them all back safely to Enterprise with as little fuss as possible.

T'Pol handed him a padd. "Perhaps you will be able to determine what your lieutenants are trying to achieve by forcing the tribunal."

"Captain Archer didn't know you suspect they're up to something?" He'd picked up her thoughts.

"I believe he's suspects the same thing but it is only a theory. You know them, would they go to such lengths to be proven right?" And why were they being so adamant about not talking and Trip trusting in them.

"Maybe, but they would go to such lengths to not have their names attached to what would amount to shoddy work when the system comes apart again." Trip couldn't convince himself mot to be upset on that one either, even though it was highly unlikely anyone they knew would ever know who had repaired the system. He and his crew would all know.

There was no point asking why they simply hadn't asked him to take over if they couldn't get past their pride. Andorians would not back away from an assigned duty they had agreed to accept. "What purpose would the Regent have for allowing such costly work to be done that he knows will not last?" T'Pol had begun to look at the situation but could not find a reason for such behavior.

"Good question. Maybe we should ask Malcolm and Hoshi to help us look into that. You should have told the Captain. I don't want you keeping things from him for me."

"We only have a theory. I suspect if that is truly what the Andorians are up to they will remain quiet and not involve you."

"But you know me better than that. I'm not going to sit back and watch them be railroaded into a prison sentence just to save my own career." She did know him and he knew that's why she gave him the heads up before she went to Captain Archer.

"Be careful and try not to antagonize the Regent until after you have been released from this cell." There was little they could do to protect him if he remained here.

He smiled at her. "I promise. Will you send Malcolm and Hoshi to see me before you talk to the Captain?" Hoshi would have a better understanding of the legal system than he did and he could ask them both to start investigating the Regent, if they hadn't started already.

"Yes, but do not spend your entire evening on this. You think much better when you get at least a couple hours sleep." When he got his mind wrapped around a problem reminding him to sleep and then getting him to sleep was a full time job.

"Your shields were all up but did you notice the lack of any kind of impressions from the Revans there today? I felt the Regent but the rest all seemed empty."

"No, but I see why you were concerned." She could sense what it was he felt during their short time with the tribunal this morning. "I'll make an effort to lower my shields."

"Just be careful something doesn't feel right. I'll meet you later. Your space or mine?" No reaction to his joke. Must mean she was distracted or she no longer found his southern charm funny.

"You decide. Whichever takes your mind away from your present predicament." If he agreed to meditate with her it didn't matter where. Once he was there, he'd sleep because she'd snuggle up and talk or not until he drifted off.

"Anywhere with you will accomplish that." He touched his fingers to his lips then reached through the bars and touched hers. "I just need you there. I can't remember the last time I tried sleeping alone." He did remember that he hadn't slept well at all.

---

"Is the Captain upset with me?"

"I don't believe so, why?" T'Pol had spoken to him briefly before transporting down to the planet.

Trip should really have felt stiff and sore after having slept on that stone bed with what amounted to a sheet for a cover, but T'Pol had joined him in their little mental haven and made sure he was comfortable and warm throughout the night. She performed some type of mental version of neuro-pressure that served to let his physical body release all the tension it held and then she let him wrap his arms around her and there they stayed in total silence until they both fell into a deep sleep.

All the stress T'Pol had so carefully provided him relief from was returning as he circled the room trying to put his finger on what felt so wrong. "He wasn't available when I got back aboard this morning. He left word he'd join us at the tribunal, but that I should take care of it." Archer had never left him to deal with something this important on his own before. "Maybe he's trying to teach me a lesson." That sounded like something the captain would do.

"I don't believe that to be true. He gave Malcolm and Hoshi orders that you were in charge and if his assistance was required we should let him know." T'Pol took it as the captain trusting Trip to handle the situation and his crew.

"So then what happened to the Captain Archer who always has to be in charge and know what's going on?" It was annoying, the way he micromanaged things at times, but the crew had all come to understand there was no changing their captain.

"Have you asked the Captain?" Archer had been more relaxed around them and had asked no personal questions or inquired as to their disappearances from sensors, although Malcolm had told them both that the captain had questioned him. Reed told him where they were and he never brought it up again.

"I don't have time to look for him right now. I need to go check on the crew in the tunnels. In all the excitement it seems everyone forgot about them." The four man engineering crew had been assigned by Fric and Frac, not Trip, so he hadn't known they were unaccounted for until Hess reported them for not showing up for their shift.

"So they've been working for over 24 hours without supervision?" How had she, Trip, and Malcolm all missed their absence from Enterprise.

He heard her internal musings. "Stop right there. We have enough to worry about without adding that to the list. I'm sure Malcolm will make us all regret this when he finds out his security sweeps failed to alert him that four of the crew have been missing." The tactical officer hadn't had any reason to make the engineers life crazy in quite some time and this would send the ever-vigilant Malcolm over the edge. He would see this as a failure on his part and Trip was getting a headache imagining the diagnostics of diagnostics Reed would run until he was convinced something like this could never happen again.

"What do you propose we do?" T'Pol followed behind him as he moved into the tunnel to find his crewmen.

"We still need to answer your original question of what are the Andorians up to. We have to be missing something. Any trials I've ever witnessed involve defending yourself by recalling the facts and the prosecution using the facts of what happened to make you look guilty."

"Is it possible they wish to lay out all the facts before the tribunal? You said you believed the Regent had been less than candid with the other researchers."

"That would make sense. Since you brought it up I keep asking myself why he would authorize the expense of time and money to fix something that isn't going to last?" Trip realized the time was only of cost to the crew of Enterprise because they must remain here until the repairs were complete, but the monetary cost of those repairs would be a total waste for the homeworld of these researchers. He felt that familiar twitch of his nerve endings. "Do you feel that? A vibration started in the sole of his boots but was translated into something different in his head.

T'Pol felt nothing but when she focused internally, she could sense what he was sensing. "How do you do that?" Her senses picked up nothing.

"I'm an engineer. That's what I do, listen to the sounds and feel the vibrations so I know if things are working the way they're supposed to be. Something's not right down here." It was what any one who worked with anything mechanical did. Trip hadn't examined the area closely but the smell of the burning insulation and wiring did tell him that the ratings of the materials used were insufficient to be anywhere near power transformers of this size. He closed his eyes and listened.

T'Pol stopped. "I believe the crew is heading this way." She pointed down a shaft to their right.

"Commander Tucker, where are the lieutenants?" The ensign leading the group asked.

"I'm afraid they ran into a little trouble. Any problems?"

"No sir but we need more help to do anymore." Ensign Barber started to walk away.

That something that was off down here was making that feeling in his stomach start to form a knot and strange vibrations in the air that weren't electrical or mechanical and shouldn't be here were making Trip's skin crawl. "Have you heard or seen anyone else down here?" He eyes kept darting around trying to locate something, anything to explain the wrongness of this place.

"No sir." They all answered leaving T'Pol wondering what it was that Trip heard and felt that no one else seemed to. Her only sense of it came through the bond but that did not help her comprehension of what the engineer's perceptions were and where they were coming from.

Trip didn't question why the team had been left here unattended to continue work they weren't supposed to be doing in the first place. The explanation had to be that once they reached a certain point there would be no choice but to continue. "Will you be able to undo what you've done and repair the transformers as the Regent requested?"

The foursome all shook their heads 'no'. "I don't see how, sir. This whole system is a fire hazard as it is and if we were to patch together a repair we'd be risking the deaths of most if not all of the inhabitants of this facility." They'd removed too much of the inner workings of the system to simply put it back and repair the transformer. The demands for power would overload not just these transformers but eventually the entire system.

Trip shook his head. The Andorian engineers had known what they were doing. Now they had to go to this tribunal, keep them out of prison, and convince the Regent and the others that a quick repair wasn't going to suffice anymore. Not that it would have to begin with. "Get yourselves back to Enterprise and tell Lt. Hess I said you've earned an extra day off."

"Thanks Commander but it's not necessary. We worked in two man shifts of eight hours off, eight hours on so once we get a shower and a meal we'll report for our normal duty shifts. We'd really like to finish what we started here."

"Okay, then report back to Enterprise and once we get this mess straightened out hopefully you'll be able to do just that."

The Ensign handed Trip a tricorder. "Can you get this to the lieutenants? They asked us to get some readings for them."

Trip took the device. "I'll see that they get it." He watched as the transporter spirited them away.

When he tried to access the data on the tricorder it asked for an encryption key. "Don't say a word." He flipped the switch off and stuffed the tricorder into his pocket.

"I didn't say anything."

"Yeah but you're sure thinking it." He grumbled as he ran through the possible explanations for their secretiveness. He could ask the ensigns about the encryption code but already knew it was a waste of time.

"Is it my fault they think like you?" T'Pol could see his frustration at not being able to access the data, but she couldn't understand why he seemed so surprised that Fric and Frac had locked him out of the device. They had been very clear about their intent to keep him out of these proceedings and they had worked with him long enough to know what he would do and had taken the proper precautions.

"Let's get to the tribunal. The sooner we figure this out the better I'm going to feel." Trip was worried. If this didn't go as planned Fric and Frac's time with Starfleet would be over and the Andorians would come retrieve them once the terms of their sentence were met. According to Hoshi that would be several years in the prison colony on the other side of the planet.

---

They entered to find a group of Revans gathered in some sort of glassed anteroom off the main room they were in. They looked like a jury in a human trial but there were over twenty-five by T'Pol's count, which he'd just taken in from her internal dialogue.

"Commanders." Hoshi Sato shouted to them from a table near the enclosure Fric and Frac and their complement of guards were standing in.

"Please tell me you understand how this whole thing works." Trip pleaded with Hoshi.

Hoshi pointed to the strangely dressed being centered at the front of the room. "That's the judge for lack of a better description. He's been chosen from the whole group over there to be in charge. But those folks over there make the real decisions. They listen and feed the judge their questions and by the end of this proceeding they'll tell him what the decision is." Hoshi wasn't clear on how it all worked but those were the basics of the proceedings.

"So they testify and the jury over there decides if they're guilty or not, then what??"

"The jury is made up of residents of this facility, who aren't directly involved in this case. The defendants are already considered guilty or there would be no need for a tribunal. In this case they are guilty of assaulting the Regent and of a list of other crimes, stemming from what they say was the destruction of their power system. Now they must justify their actions or be sentenced to prison."

"So what they're guilty but there can be extenuating circumstances?" The judge kept trying to appear assured, stern, and judicial but Trip saw how difficult that would be if he constantly had to seek the counsel of the jury. Not exactly, what he was used to but they could work with it. From what Trip had been able to uncover about his Andorian engineers they had to be masters at this type of defense by now. Their whole career in the Imperial Guard had been one incident after another where their guilt was a given. Their talent and their creative manipulation of the rules had been what kept them both from being sentenced to life in some distant part of the galaxy.

"From what we've read that's about it." Malcolm had spent the previous evening reading through the text that laid out the tenets of this legal system, trying to decipher what it was the wayward pair of engineers might be planning to exploit to their benefit.

Trip then heard T'Pol in his head. _"The tricorder."_

"_Thanks I almost forgot."_ He moved away from the group_. _"Can I speak to them?"He asked the nearest of the guards.

The guard didn't speak but moved aside clearing a path for Trip.

"Whatever it is you two are up to is there anything we can do to help?"

"Thank you, Commander, but we have it all under control." Fric responded.

"Well then we'll be right over there." Trip reached in and pulled the tricorder out. "Your team asked me to get this to you. We are going to have a long talk about why they continued working after you were told to stop and why this tricorder denied your commanding officer access."

"Yes sir." The pair responded with no sign of being worried or repentant.

The commander gave up. Whatever they had planned he was going to have to let it play out and hope they knew what they were doing.

The process began. It seemed fairly normal for a trial. The Regent and his people presented the facts of what the Andorians had done. Fric and Frac had added very little. Then the judge asked if there was anything else that needed to be added.

The questioning continued for several more minutes and then the other side declined the opportunity to make any further inquires.

Kevorkian, the Revan who had been asking all the questions, moved to continue but was interrupted by Frac. "We'll take it from here."

"This..." Was all Kevorkian got out before Fric held up a stack of papers. "According to your tenets we are allowed to defend ourselves. There is no mention of any laws requiring us to seek the assistance of anyone."

The judge turned from the jury. "Proceed."

Frac began, "Regent you have listened to the description of the power system that runs underground throughout the research facility?"

"Yes."

"And you were the official that approved the installation and maintenance of most of that system?"

"Yes."

"Did you approve of the workers and materials used?"

The Regent hesitated for a moment. "It required my final approval."

"Were there others who made recommendations for your approval?" Frac could see the Regent searching for the right words to say.

"There were some recommendations made by others."

"Did any of those recommendations involve the materials used?"

"I do not remember."

Frac reached for the tricorder Trip had given his crewmen. "Regent would it surprise you to know that the coil wiring is inadequately insulated and the wiring used between each transformer is of such low quality as not to be suitable for use in a single dwelling? Also it appears there are dozens of cheaply constructed circuit breakers installed throughout the system to shutdown sections of the power grid when an overload takes place?"

"I am not an electrical engineer so I can't be expected to understand how the system works."

"Can you explain why the plans for the system show different materials being used than what is actually in use at present?"

"No I can't?" The Regent flinched.

"Did you authorize the use of inferior materials in the construction of the power system?"

Trip studied the readings being projected from the tricorder. He whispered into T'Pol's ear. "Commander, do you notice anything odd about those readings?" He indicated the images on the screen.

T'Pol turned to see what he was talking about. "There are no indications of usage of this system." Some of the numbers should be moving up and down as the power moved through the system and demand for that power was met but there weren't even minuscule amounts of power in the lines, which still should have been active.

"It wasn't what I felt it was what I didn't feel." His mind went back to the tunnels. There were no sounds or vibrations that signified any electrical equipment operating in the area. The vibration he did feel he still could not explain.

The room went black. The only light coming from the doors that opened giving entry to several glow-in-the-dark creatures holding some type of weapons.

Trip looked around and not quite under his breath uttered, "I swear I never want to hear another word about my unrealistic sci-fi movies again." The creatures looked like something that had come from a really bad science experiment that had taken place in one of his collection of movies that Malcolm called the worst of the atrociously bad sci-fi genre.

"They do make your weird collection seem less unrealistic don't they." Reed shook his head trying to refocus his disbelieving eyes. These beings actually looked like they had come from one of Trips science fiction classics. "But this really isn't the time for movie critiques is it?" The tactical officer was trying to discern the best way to extricate the crew from this situation.

"Guess not. Any ideas on how we get out of here?" Trip became more serious.

"The transporter seems like the only option but we need to contact them somehow." Pulling out a communicator and calling for help would be noticed by their captors.

Hoshi placed her hands over her ears as if she was trying to block out sound. It took several seconds for her actions to register. "Do it Hoshi." Commander Tucker ordered in his most subdued voice, once he realized she was reminding them of her earpiece. It was similar to what she had designed for the diplomats to use at the conferences on Earth. But it had been modified for use in away missions and once activated she would appear to be talking to Malcolm or Trip. It was not on the normal comm frequencies so should go undetected by sensors on this planet.

"I told them to transport us all. They suggested moved into a group." They all began moving towards the Andorians while Trip tried to gain the captain's attention. Getting as close together as possible making it easier for the transporter to lock onto their individual life-signs.

---

Trip found T'Pol's hand and grasped it tightly. In this darkness, she would be blinded. Her eyesight was enhanced in the bright light because she had protection due to the amount of light and heat on Vulcan but that same protection made it almost impossible for the scant amounts of light available here to get through requiring her to depend on Trip's vision. He'd spent years as a kid out in the dark on the beach or in the woods playing so his eyes made the adjustment easily. _"T'Pol can you see?"_

"_Yes, thank you for your assistance."_

"_Would you stop thanking me?" _He squeezed her hand and they both drew their phase pistols and began firing at the luminescent figures moving towards them. Suddenly a surge of energy began pulsing through their bodies as they were transported to a room. The surroundings were familiar, except this cell lacked a bed or a bench.

"Malcolm, Hoshi, Captain?" Trip held T'Pol's hand still but yelled through the bars in both directions down the tunnel.

"Trip, T'Pol is that you?" Archer seemed to be to their left.

"Yeah. Are you alright Captain? Have you seen any of the others?"

"Hoshi and Malcolm are with me. We're all okay. Are you alright?"

"A little confused but we'll be fine." They should be on Enterprise.

"I don't see the Andorians?" Malcolm was trying to push through the bars to see down the tunnel.

"Fric, Frac are you out there?" Trip yelled but there was no response. "Did anyone see what happened to them?"

"No. The lights went out then we were here. It appears everyone was rendered unconscious just before or during transport."

---

The Regent and the others watched the two. "They are resistant to our suggestions."

"I'd say they were more than resistant, they fired their weapons. We know little of Vulcans but they do have disciplined minds so her resistance is to be expected but why is this human different than the rest?" The others had all followed the suggestion not to use their weapons.

"Our test was a failure."

"No it was not. The Andorians were correct. They are a better alternative and they are not even official members of this crew." They had originally thought to claim the chief engineer but soon sensed that he would not be cooperative and would fight their suggestive powers.

"He is correct Haviin. These Andorians use science but are also open to possibilities beyond science." The Revans had devised these tests to find those that would readily accept either science or the powers of the unknown as equally valid.

"So we send them back to the ship and erect the masking shield." Hiding the planet from sensors and eyesight.

"We must first understand these two. If we cannot use our powers of suggestion to make them believe the Andorians remain here willingly, they would only convince their captain to remain in orbit and try to retrieve them." Enterprises' sensors were locked onto the planet and even if they couldn't see it, if they remained where they were all the commanders would need to do was fire their weapons at the coordinates in their computers.

"Put them together once again. We must run more scenarios to discover what is different about these two." The Regent had considered keeping all four but if the Human and Vulcan were not susceptible to their suggestions, the pair would cause unrest amongst the population of their little community. This would require they be incarcerated for the remainder of their lives. And removing too many of their crew would only lead to questions. Removing members of the crew and a creating plausible explanations for their leaving worked but these four were all vital to the day-to-day operation of the starship and their absence would be missed and make it less likely that the crew would obey their captain and fly away without them. To make that happen several of the Revans would have to leave the surface and use their suggestive powers on the entire crew.

---

"T'Pol, does any of this make sense. We answer a distress call and find a bunch of researchers who say they're having problems with the electrical system. There were what 20 researchers here until that tribunal where more showed up and what's with the creatures from the black lagoon?" Those green glow in the dark creatures seemed creepier in real life than what he imagined them to be when he first saw such things on a screen as a kid.

"Those seem like reasonable observations but any explanation for those creatures would require many hours of research."

All the lingering doubts he'd been ignoring began to come forth. "What nothing else seems odd to you? How many research colonies do you know of that have a regent, a judge, and a legal system that also has a prison nearby? We did run scans on the rest of this planet, didn't we?"

"There was no time to review the data. The captain saw no reason to after they explained the problems and asked for our assistance. Perhaps we should be asking what type of research they are conducting here?"

Trip had been so caught up in saving the Andorians that he ignored his instincts. "Those power transformers would put out massive amounts of power if they were operating so what could they be researching that requires that much power?" A research facility of this size should not require such massive equipment to operate so what were they using all that power for? That and most off-world research was conducted with a minimum of personnel because it was away from their homeworld and experimental. Trip focused with everything he could find within himself. Something felt all to wrong or was it familiar. He couldn't...it was just out of reach, which meant he just had to keep at it and the answer would come.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**Commingling of Mental Images into Something That Can Be Dually Perceived as Reality (MU)**

"T'Pol what are you doing?" Tucker tried rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he sat down on the couch.

"Working on the calculations for the phase variance in the power relays for the various shuttle modifications."

She didn't need his help with that. "And the only place that you could find to do that, in the middle of the night, was here at my computer terminal." He hadn't been asleep long so her being here or the light being on must have woken him.

"I could not sleep."

So I don't get to sleep. "That still doesn't explain why you're here and not at your own computer." Then he saw the familiar sight of bags sitting by the door. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Here."

"Here, here? As in my quarters, here?"

"Our quarters, yes."

Ours? When he went to sleep they were his. "You're moving in? I don't remember us talking about that." His brain was not awake yet but he wouldn't have forgotten that discussion.

"We are mates and don't mates share living space on Earth?" She said it so matter-of-factly it seemed she was sure of her statement.

"They usually decide to live together at some point."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Dammit T'Pol don't play dumb with me. To decide implies that both parties have a voice in the outcome after discussing the matter." Tucker was sure she could recite the whole damn dictionary to him.

"You have a voice. If you do not wish me to stay tell me to go; otherwise go back to sleep." She turned her back to him working once again at the computer.

"What??? You can't sleep so you just decide to solve the problem by moving in with me without asking...wake me up...and tell me if I don't want you here I should tell you to leave or just shut up and go back to sleep? Did you use your Vulcan logic to come up with that one?" He couldn't believe her, this was way beyond cold and calculating, even for a Vulcan. And what the **hell** did she mean go back to sleep? She had to be kidding. His head dropped into his hands. It was happening again. She was punching every button he had. Half-truths, control being snatched away from him. Well, that wasn't exactly the truth. If he'd done any thinking with his brain instead of his libido back when this started, his doing her a favor might have turned out differently. But would he want it to be any different now that he was on the other side of all the pain and anger? He'd had very few choices before and the ones he did have weren't really choices. Stay on Earth and die a slow, painful death or join Starfleet and work on warp engines and die a quick, painful death. But now it seemed all he had was change and choices.

"So now what?" He opened his eyes and discovered he'd been talking to himself.

She was gone but the bags were still there. Damn it Tucker, he thought as he slipped into his sweats and pulled his t-shirt over his head. It occurred to him again that this wasn't his fault. She ambushed him in the middle of the night but somehow he still felt like he'd missed something big. He'd have to find her and see if he could get her to tell him what the hell was going on.

The first place to look would be her quarters but she wasn't there. He'd used the override to gain entry but judging by the boxes and bags there, they weren't her quarters anymore. Not finding her in the obvious places, he tried to use the bond and when that failed, he began a systematic search through the ship. Deck by deck. Running through the last several weeks, every conversation or thought that had floated between them, while searching hadn't made things any clearer.

"Tucker." He heard his name being called as he became aware that he was in the Mess Hall. Who would be here at this hour? Dumb question since he was here and he was looking for T'Pol.

"Bestal, don't you ever sleep?" The Verillion held his cup tightly.

"Two to three hours a night. Just trying to adjust. I'm usually the only one moving around during the sleep cycle." He'd been raised on a planet and had been serving with the resistance on Xindus. This was his first assignment to a ship where the available recreational choices were limited.

"Commander T'Pol hasn't been through here recently has she?"

Bestal looked at his bare feet. "You two have a fight?" He could see that Tucker hadn't even been aware he was wearing no shoes.

It was better when the crew feared their superior officers. Not that he cared if they were talking about him. His life, while mostly satisfying to him, would bore them. It didn't matter he didn't have time for this. "I'll let you figure that out. It'll give you something to do to until we find a constructive way to help you fill all these empty hours. Now have you seen her or not?"

"She was seen earlier moving her belongings to new quarters. There wouldn't be any good reason for her to change quarters so it was assumed that meant she was moving to be with you. If you have not seen her then..."

"Great." He could have simply said 'no' but wasn't it great, everyone knew she was moving in but him. When he couldn't locate her he headed to his office to find something to occupy his mind. Anger and confusion said sleep was out of the realm of possibilities until his thoughts organized themselves and he calmed down and could figure out where she went. At this point, he had to consider that she might have taken a shuttlepod and gone planetside. He could have the computer try to locate her he decided. That was until he entered his office.

Had she come here so he wouldn't find her or because she thought when he couldn't sleep, he would come here to work and find her? The bond or lack of it said this was her attempt to avoid him.

Looking around much of what had been here was smashed. Anger began to rise once more then spontaneously he began laughing and couldn't stop.

"This is humorous to you?" She didn't understand his sense of humor at all. Having only seen the sarcastic side of it until recently.

"Maybe I've totally lost my mind." He whipped his arm around in front of him. "This looks like I feel but maybe you should try the rec room next time."

He picked up what he thought was part of what had been the monitor. "Was this my head when you killed it?" He sensed frustration from her as she began to shutdown again. He'd seen her teetering close to the edge but he'd never seen her control this tenuous before.

"T'Pol I really need you to talk to me here." Nothing. No reaction, no reply, nothing. "Did I do something wrong?" He must have and judging by her reaction he must have just done it again. "If I did you need to tell me." He watched her. He could almost feel the slight tremors rippling through her.

"T'Pol?" How could she constantly reduce him to feeling like a small child lost in the dark? Groping around at his insides blindly touching each emotion trying to decipher what it was and what it meant. He'd never been one for much introspection so why was it that, as confusing and frustrating as this was...as she was, he wanted it? Even found he was beginning to try to understand and enjoy it.

His hand carefully began to make a space on his desk and then his frustration burst forth and sent the debris flying. There was nothing there worth saving so why bother. Sitting on the edge of the desk he carefully pulled her up from the chair wrapping his arms around her as much to calm himself as to draw some reaction from her. The twinges he felt said his muscles and bruises were not yet completely healed. Having surgery and two run-ins with the Vulcans had kept him in a negative place and according to T'Pol that had slowed the healing process considerably.

She was so still and unresponsive. Could she be meditating with her eyes open? His lips were close to her ear so he whispered. "I'm sorry but I don't know what's wrong, you have to tell me."

Finding his gentler side was a challenge but he didn't know how to reach her. Yelling his anger at her wouldn't work but he didn't know what else to say or do, so he held her close waiting for her to respond in some way.

"Why do you not want me?" She spoke so softly he barely heard the words.

"What?" He tightened his arms around her. "Why do you think I don't want you?" That was so wrong. There was this constant craving that had been gnawing at him for months now.

"You do not want me."

"What makes you think I don't want you?" He asked again. Her ego wasn't that fragile that his questioning her motives earlier would send her over the edge like this.

"You. You no longer desire me."

"What?" He no longer desired her. Where was this coming from?

"Don't human males express themselves with sex?"

"I'm really not an expert on human males so all I can tell you is about me." But he wasn't anywhere near an expert on himself either. As little as he knew of typical male behavior, outside of the aggressive types he'd come into contact with in Starfleet, he knew even less about the female sex.

"Then why do you no longer desire me? What did I do to make you reject me?"

Sex Ed 101 for Vulcan females. That's what this was. Maybe he'd gone back to sleep and was in the middle of a really horrendous nightmare. One could only hope to wake up and find that was true.

"What the hell did I miss here? Is that what this is all about? You moved in because you wanted to have sex with me?" She didn't answer him, which only made him question her motives more. "Wouldn't it have been easier to let me know what you wanted?"

"So I should have just told you I wish to have sex?"

If she had woken him up demanding sex, it probably would have been awkward and scared the hell out of him but after her Pon Farr he would have gotten over it. "Since when are you timid about anything, especially with me? It might have been a bit of a shock, but you could have crawled in bed and woke me up. My sleep-addled brain would have figured out what you wanted eventually." He'd never had the experience but assumed it would be a natural bodily reaction if he woke to her that close in his bed.

He shook his head. He couldn't express himself and now he was supposed to teach a Vulcan how to express her sexual desire. "You managed to get your point across the last time we made love."

"But you had expressed your desire for me earlier." Her head found the favored spot in the crook of his arm.

He didn't know where to go with that statement so he chose to table that discussion until later when he'd had time to decipher her meaning. Why did these conversations seem to start in his office? "Let's talk about that later. Right now I need you to tell me why you want to move in to my quarters?" And no matter what she said it wasn't about sex, he'd at least figured that much out.

But the more he thought about this the more he started to think T'Pol may have had the right idea. Pour all this nervous energy and insecurity into this pool of desire, give in to it, focus on the physical pleasure they could give each other, and let the rest just work itself out.

Somehow deep down he knew that wasn't the answer. It would make them forget all this for a while but his past told him the fear and doubts or whatever this was would lay in wait, growing in strength, only to spring loose at the most inopportune time. But man right now he could go for alleviating some tension.

His arms tightened as she moved slightly against him. Functioning and surviving through another day wasn't enough anymore.

"I did not tell you to shut up."

Okay that was definitely a curve ball out of nowhere. "You didn't say the words but telling me to throw you out or go to bed meant the same thing. You weren't going to discuss it and since you changed the subject here I guess you still aren't. Did you really think I'd just stand by and let you make the decision for me? Without ..."

The movement of her chest as she breathed changed. It evened out and became more regular. Tucker tilted sideways to see her eyes. In the middle of an argument and she was asleep half-sitting, half-standing here with him. His eyes began canvassing the room for a spot to sit down. This wasn't the most comfortable place to be but for now it was the only place. Waking her from her exhausted sleep was not an option and carrying her, a Vulcan, through the corridors he instinctively knew would cause her embarrassment and humiliation. Lifting her, he moved to the only undisturbed corner placing himself against the wall to aid him in sliding downward without waking her up. His last action was to use his command code to order the computer to lock down his office so no one entered. He didn't want to explain the mess or have anyone walk in to see T'Pol asleep in his arms.

He relaxed into the bulkhead and set his mind adrift. He quickly ran through his mental list watching the recent events like a movie. Since Trip and T'Pol dropped into my life I've discovered I'm permanently bonded to a Vulcan, became a mutineer, had my sister kidnapped, stole a ship, left Starfleet and the Terran Empire, joined the resistance, spent weeks being shot at and crawling around in places I don't even want to think about, joined a whole new crew, and then got dropped into a command structure that's totally different from anything I've known before.

He'd learned to keep his head down and follow orders to stay alive but here the rules had changed. His sister had reappeared and hated T'Pol. Thankfully Lizzie was a whole long drawn out problem he could avoid while out here.

And then he came to the main focus of all of this. This all came back full circle to this woman in his arms. Did she have any idea what it was she was asking of him? What depending on her and these feelings meant? Being vulnerable. He knew most everyone in his past already saw him that way but it wasn't true. He'd never left himself open or exposed, especially to the unknown. And that was all T'Pol and their bond represented. Reaching for the most familiar thing, he could find he'd been centered on the fear and anger at having the Vulcans lurking out there trying to kidnap and kill them because it was the most normal thing out of all of this. He could function with something familiar to wrap around himself.

When he awoke again he sat there watching her sleep, running his fingers through her hair. He hadn't paid attention to much beyond his own problems in the last several weeks. She'd stopped wearing that bright pink lipstick and returned to the lightly tinted lip-gloss she'd originally used. He liked it. Went well with the new less provocative uniform she had chosen for them both, which he surprisingly found he also liked on her. He wondered if the changes were for herself or for him.

Her barriers were completely down now and Tucker found everything that she had been keeping from him. That's where the feeling that he'd missed something came from. He'd picked up on some of her inner turmoil, but dismissed it. Maybe she thought that she would be able to sleep if she physically exhausted herself along with this mental exhaustion. Having her in his arms, even here, had made his sleep more restful, and he wanted it to do the same for her.

She should have suppressed her reactions to recent events but she was clearly feeling as vulnerable as he was. There had been as much change for her as for him. Was this struggle over the choice she'd made? Was she insecure about that choice? Him over her Vulcan heritage...over her home world.

"There is no regret." She answered. "My katra made its choice."

"Then what is it that has you so turned inside out?" Something made her lose control and destroy his office.

"I fired weapons upon my own people and I will never be allowed to return to Vulcan." Firing at the Vulcans was not a choice really and she would do it again to protect herself and Tucker but it meant she was now banished from Vulcan forever.

She might say the choice had already been made but he understood the difference between the choices their bond and mating with him represented and her recent actions that would be considered treasonous by her people. What didn't make sense was the idea that she wouldn't be allowed to return to Vulcan. "They want to kidnap us and take us to Vulcan to sever this bond?" Returning her to Vulcan would seem to be the point of that. That's what the head Vulcan had said.

"We would be drugged, taken to a secret location where the bond would be severed and if we survived you would be returned to Earth or Xindus. My memories would be purged and I would be sent back to the military or some other duty." This T'Pol would cease to exist so she would not be the T'Pol that was returned to Vulcan society. The priests would strip away the experiences and memories of her life. She had no memories of her parents once she reached her sixteenth year and was sent for training, which eventually lead her into space, so she wished to retain the memories from her youth. Young Vulcans were taught to separate themselves from familial ties as a necessity for the survival of their species. Over time, even the bond one formed with their parents weakened and the remaining connection was eventually barely noticed. Memories were virtually all she had left to tell her her family had existed at all. With a clean mind she would have been relocated somewhere to ensure she never encountered Tucker again.

He needed to let the shock of that sink into his brain. "What are all these emotions? Why aren't you suppressing them?" He was accustomed to her darker emotions being there but not like this. There were no compartments, order, or control here. Her dark and explosive thoughts and emotions were simply floating freely through her mind crowding out everything else. "You haven't been meditating or sleeping have you?"

"My Vulcan nature thrives on these emotions and when my senses become highly saturated with anger and rage it becomes much more difficult to control them." Her world was becoming a very dark place.

"You have to meditate and sleep." Sleep his favorite thing to deny himself when his emotions and thoughts took over. He was beginning to understand why she'd come to his quarters. She needed the same things he did but didn't know how to identify them. She'd learned that humans used sex to alleviate tension and stress and must have assumed it could work for her. So she decided to move in assuming that if she stayed with him he would eventually give her the help she thought she needed.

He could feel the confusion overtake her again. "Stop thinking about it. We'll get you a shower and some food and then you're going to meditate all day if that's what it takes." He sat her on the floor and stood up before pulling her up.

----

"Do you feel better?" There was a towel wound around her head holding her wet hair in place. Tucker unwrapped it and began drying it for her.

"Much." She tried to take the towel from him. "I am capable of drying my own hair."

This was exhausting. Teaching and learning a completely new way of being with her. "I know but I want you to rest and relax so just let me take care of you today." If she didn't relax he wouldn't be able to either so he forged ahead into new territory. Concentrating on T'Pol filled him with a strange exhilaration, which he'd never experienced before but knew it was exactly what was needed. When he finished he handed her the towel. "Get dressed we're going on a field trip."

"Field trip?" She had no idea what that was.

"Yes I'm taking you off this ship." The Vulcan ship had left orbit and he wanted to see if they could remember how to enjoy fresh air and the outdoors for a couple of hours. Feeling like a prisoner on your own ship wasn't conducive to relaxing. That feeling of not being able to leave smothered you even though there really wasn't a need to go anywhere. It was simply the idea that you couldn't. "Dress for a warm climate."

Warm climate? She knew Tucker did not like warm climates or at least he didn't do well in them. The temperature aboard Enterprise had once risen well over the normal limits for several days when the controls were damaged and he'd become extremely dehydrated and then fell ill. She went to retrieve her bags but they were no longer there.

"Oh I put your stuff away. The left side of the dresser is yours and the rest of your clothes are hanging in the closet over there. Your wall hangings and those statue things are on the floor of the closet with your bags."

He saw the questions. He'd told her they'd talk about it later but talking would only muck it up more so he decided to do what seemed to be working. Stop thinking, over analyzing, being afraid, and just act. He looked around the empty room. "You can put them wherever you want but let's worry about that later." He grabbed the clothes he'd gotten out for himself and headed toward the bathroom. "We'll go once we're both dressed."

---

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise and you're just going to have to wait till we land to find out. Finish your breakfast?" He realized he was speaking to her like she was a child but his experiences with Lizzie were all he had to go on.

The shuttle landed. The hatch opened to sand. Miles and miles of sand. "You brought me to the desert."

"You're from Vulcan and it's a desert so I figure we can set up a lean-to and a blanket and you can meditate." He picked up the duffle bags and walked away from the pod. "It's quiet, no distractions, and I know you like the warmth and the sand. There's a cave over that way if it gets to hot." He started setting up. He returned to the pod to retrieve a meditation pillow and placed it in the shaded area along with a candle and lighter. He moved back towards the shuttle, wondering if this felt as surreal to her as it did to him.

"Are you going to join me?" She wondered how he knew she'd like it here and she also knew the desert was right up there with swamps as places he never wanted to be. "Unless you'd rather be out of the heat."

"It's a little warm but it's dry so I can stay or I can wait in the shuttle. Whatever you need."

"When they taught you to meditate did they mediate with you?" If they were meditating, their bodies would be less sensitive to the temperature and the heat might do his sore muscles some good.

"Trip did but T'Pol didn't. Something about the bond and me feeling too much like Trip."

"Would you meditate with me?"

"Anytime, just ask." He could see confusion on her face. He walked back and sat across from her on the blanket and lit the candle. The warmth spread upward when he felt her hands take hold of his.

"I will begin then you join me." T'Pol stared at the flame and soon her eyes closed. Tucker did the same.

It was different than when they melded. "This is where you meditate?" It was an undefined place. No color, no walls, no real dimension at all. His space wasn't much more than this. It wasn't anywhere, it was just a dusky night, with a roaring bonfire burning. The flame gave him a focal point and seemed to help him relax.

"Yes."

"So now what? Do we just sit here?" He took in the warmth around him. He'd been right she did like the desert warmth.

"I need to sit here for a time then we can talk if you wish."

She pulled him back to consciousness and back to the desert.

"Four hours. Well it's cooler now." He could feel that the sun had moved behind them and was much lower on the horizon.

"Are you comfortable?" She was concerned that he might be overheated.

"It's warm but not too bad. Do you want to stay here or check out the cave?"

"I'm not much for crawling around in caves." She could tell he wasn't up for that either.

He stripped off his shirt and laid down pulling her down with him. She settled laying her head on his stomach.

"Are Vulcans happy? I mean do you feel happy ever?" This had been plaguing him since they left the Vulcans sitting at that table in the conference room.

"My darker emotions are easier for me but I do feel other things. But happy I don't know what that means." It was an empty word as were most of the words humans used to describe emotions.

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that one myself. Every time I start to let go there's this sense of doom like something bad is waiting just around the corner." The guilt, fear, and nightmares always came. But they weren't about any harm coming to him, those always seemed fairly normal and didn't upset him. These were all about the various ways Lizzie and now T'Pol could be made to suffer if he let his guard down.

Doubts and misgivings swept through her. "I have no reference for most emotions and there are many I am unfamiliar with and some I may never experience. I hope that that does not make me unacceptable to you."

"Why would you think that? I thought we covered this already. You are my mate and unless you choose otherwise you're stuck with me. And you don't have to do or say or feel anything." He knew she cared for him just as he'd finally admitted he cared for her. Now all he had to do was learn how to rely on that.

"Vulcans do not seek to become happy. Duty dictates our lives are to be dedicated to the fight against the Terrans and to make the future better for our people. We are taught that observance of our duty will bring us contentment." The whole idea of Vulcan society separated the individual from the collective yet forced upon them the belief that that same society was more important than themselves. This contradiction had always made T'Pol less than content with her life, but she had still strived to understand and achieve it.

That brought her back to what had been driving her dark emotions so she continued trying to clarify her own thoughts and further explain what she'd begun telling Tucker in his office. What her investigating had turned up after the incident on the planet. "My time and retraining in Starfleet has rendered me unacceptable to my own people. I have recently learned there is a process of repatriation all Vulcans who have served the Terran Empire and are to return to our home world must go through. They are sent to a monastery to re-adjust and are subjected to what they are told will be a form of Kolinahr. Once the ritual is complete they are free of their memories and emotions and are deemed acceptable to be returned to Vulcan society for retraining for some future duty." Kolinahr taught one to purge emotions. The actual ritual they went through permanently removed all of their memories and emotions. Her fate was sealed if she were to return to Vulcan with or without Tucker.

"Subjected to as in against their will?" The Vulcans were beginning to sound more and more like the Empire. Making decisions for their citizens for their own good.

"According to the Council it is acceptable and necessary to strip away our memories to remove the guilt and dark emotional disturbances such service stirred in our katras so we can once again return to Vulcan and follow Surak's teachings." T'Pol shivered at the thought of having her memories stolen and never being allowed to leave Vulcan again.

"That's never going to happen as long as I'm alive and can prevent it." He felt her snuggle her head down into his belly more as he continued to massage his fingers down the back of her hair. "I can tell you're feeling better." She was still tense but not like she had been earlier.

"I believed coming here would be..." She didn't have the words for what it was she'd expected. "You and I are becoming closer, we are here fighting the Empire, but my emotions are still so dark and volatile. Being away from humans and around my own people should be making me stronger but they only want to reprogram me to be the perfect Vulcan." Her fate with her people had been sealed long ago but she had made him a target by bonding with him.

Logically worrying about what may happen in the future was useless but knowing what she now knew left little doubt that the Council would not be swayed from eliminating anyone they perceived as a threat to Vulcan. And they saw herself and Tucker as threats, which meant she no longer had a home. She wasn't even sure if her parents would acknowledge her any longer.

At least now, he understood why she had come to him the way she had. And he had been right to keep her with him. Could he just tell her to suppress all of this? Did it work that way? "Stop worrying about the Council. We'll deal with all of it. Just work on getting stronger. And from now on if you need something from me, you need to tell me."

He felt her tension level rising but she remained where she was so he could not see her face. "What's wrong?"

"There is nothing wrong."

"Nothing?" Did she really think he'd buy it when he could feel the tension and fear in her mind and body? "Please don't do that. One of the things I really like, even when you're at your sarcastic best, is you say whatever's on you mind and you don't take my crap. Besides it's kind of impossible to hide it from me." She was Vulcan and supposed to be repressed and in control but to his surprise she'd gotten right in his face the first time he made some sarcastic remark to her and she hadn't backed down since.

"I am unaccustomed to asking another for assistance and there is much about having a mate I was not prepared for."

"Can you turn over so I'm not having this conversation with the back of your head?" He waited as she turned to face him. "So what besides letting me know what you're feeling or telling me what you need are you having trouble with?" Her comments had prompted him to question what Vulcan females were taught. She seemed convinced that what she felt was wrong. Maybe with another Vulcan she would have known what to do.

"I do not think what I feel is what other Vulcans feel with their mates."

"Sorry I can't help with that and I don't think the rest of the Vulcans are going to be much help with that either. You've been influenced by humans and other species and aren't acceptable to those 'real' Vulcans anymore so I'm not sure we want their help anyway. All we can do is what works for us and the hell with all of them."

"What works for us?" She asked with all the seriousness she possessed.

"You're kidding right?" He sensed the ironic rebound of her words and laughed. "I keep telling you I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Maybe if I keep saying it you'll finally believe me."

"If you don't know and I don't know then what do we do?" Confusion, frustration, and abject terror flooded her senses and then his.

He pulled her up so her head rested on his shoulder. Wrapping his arms tighter around her, "It's not that bad. Maybe if we both stop whatever it is we're doing and just let ourselves feel this will stop being so hard."

The images of those nights they'd talked together came forth. He searched through the memories she'd given him. "Think about those nights you showed me when we sat and talked to each other. Why didn't we ever go further than kissing?" He thought about this before but never asked.

"Because I knew you wouldn't remember so I stopped before they went further." At the time, she thought of it as not real, but as a way to satisfy her need to be close to him without totally dishonoring him.

"Did I always kiss you first?" He suspected what her reply would be. Her inhibitions weren't a problem then because there were no repercussions if no one knew what had taken place so she was totally free to act on her feelings.

"No it just happened." She hadn't considered that time for weeks. But now she recalled his nearness, his scent, the heat emanating from his body as they became comfortable, and began talking. One thing led to another until her guilt took over and she melded with him and took the memory away.

"Then I suggest we relax and talk and stop trying to force things or we can just wait until we're so over-excited we just lose control." There wasn't any rush and she didn't need the pressure. Actually, he didn't either.

"First, we need to talk about your emotional control." This was as good an opening as she was going to get.

"Don't you mean my lack of it?" Her anxiety level took a definite upward thrust.

"Yes." Not that she'd had much control lately but his was beginning to concern her. The concern was for him but also for what could happen if his anger overwhelmed her control so that they both lost all constraint.

"I don't know why but you're afraid to tell me what you think." He'd been feeling that for a while now and could only guess that it had to do with her melding with him before and the guilt she felt over that.

"I explained before that the human brain is not like a Vulcans and I may have caused some damage to your brain when I melded with you. The only way to find and correct that damage is to access the areas, which should give you back those memories, and allow our bond to repair any damage that I may have caused."

"It's going to hurt isn't it?" She didn't need to answer he knew that was what she had been afraid of telling him. Trip and T'Pol had been right and in order to correct what she had done she was going to have to inflict more pain on him. "Let's not worry about that right now. We'll take care of it but not today. It's in the past and we're going to leave it there so stop blaming yourself. I'm not angry anymore and I'm not going to be in the future so relax and just be with me right here right now."

He waited for a response but got none. "Tell me about Vulcan. Don't show me pictures. Talk to me. Make me see it without showing me your memories." They could look at her memories later, for now he wanted to slide into that comfortable place where nothing else existed.

"Are you sure?" Her fear became much more subdued.

"Never been more sure of anything in my life, so let it go. I have." He'd forgiven her, he just hadn't told her. And he didn't want to go back there ever. They'd finally started moving forward to a positive place, which was still unfamiliar and terrified him but not as much as it once had.

Tucker continued to stroke her hair as T'Pol talked about the home she missed. The meaning of each of the statues, the reds and oranges of the skyline, and the warmth of the lava fields. How there were only two large desert areas with nothing but sand but they were not like the desert they were now in. One could always see signs of civilization or ancient ruins, from any standpoint, off in the horizon in one direction or another on Vulcan.

It got quiet then he felt her kissing his neck. She hesitated before moving up to his ear.

'This definitely works for me,' came to mind but he wasn't sure if it was his thought or hers and decided it didn't matter. He pulled her up and gently touched his lips to hers. Her hands grasped the back of his head and the intensity of her response increased sending a swirl of sensations through them both.

---

He let out a loud yelp of pain as she manipulated the node in his foot. "Why are we doing this again?" Tears he couldn't prevent ran down his cheeks.

"There are several nodes in ones feet that connect directly to centers of the brain and judging by the tenderness in yours I'd say my assessment of possible damage to your neural pathways is correct." She eased up on the pressure seeing his tears.

"So my feet hurt because I have brain damage." He wasn't going to argue with her about this treatment again. She'd done this a couple of days ago and he'd lost the fight because the massive headache he'd had went away minutes after she'd completed a series of manipulations on his feet and lower legs. She made him breath a special way and applied pressure to various nodes with her fingertips and knuckles. It was extremely painful this session but she said it was necessary to alleviate as much pressure as she could before she attempted to use a meld to correct the damage to his brain.

"Correct." The more intense the emotions involved the simpler his words became so she tried to keep things simple as well.

As much as this hurt made him worry about the level of pain the meld would create. "So when do we do the meld?"

"Once I've completed this process you must decide." She wanted him to take whatever time he needed to prepare for the pain. He had some techniques that he'd taught himself while on Enterprise and she wasn't sure what was involved.

"Can I use the bond to deal with some of the discomfort?" His foot involuntarily jerked free of her hold.

She re-grasped the foot and increased the pressure so he couldn't pull away again. "It would be beneficial to practice utilizing the bond now so it will be of benefit later."

"And how is it that this stuff is considered intimate again? The only purpose for this could be to force a Vulcan to totally lose control of his temper." The last thing he was thinking about right now was being close to her.

"It is not supposed to induce pain it is to relieve pain and stress."

"Could have fooled me. It's a good thing Reed and Phlox didn't know about this stuff or I'd have been in real trouble. Just remember I need my feet for walking." He'd suffered through beatings and the agony booth and survived the pain but what she was doing to his already tender nerve endings was excruciating.

"We will try again tomorrow." The amount of pain concerned her. If he was experiencing this much discomfort now it suggested that the pain from the meld could be much more severe. But she told herself it was also possible that this pain was giving him physical relief now and could repair some of the damage and help alleviate the pressure and pain later on.

"What do you call this 'neuro-torture'?" Tucker teased half-seriously. If T'Pol weren't the one doing this to him, it would be considered torture.

"Neuro-pressure." She had been teaching herself the practice from an ancient text Lt. Soval provided her with.

Tucker stood finding the tenderness of his feet to be a bit too much and his legs felt well actually, they didn't feel like anything. It was almost like they weren't there and once his brain perceived that, they no longer wanted to hold him up. He staggered and let himself fall sideways to the bed. "I told you I needed to be able to walk," he grumbled loudly.

"Perhaps I overestimated your ability to recover from the techniques." She could feel the pain but it was dulled because Tucker kept blocking it from her. She could not convince him to stop and use his energy to fight the pain for himself.

He gritted his teeth. "Dammit T'Pol it's bad enough that this hurts like hell. I can't be stuck in bed because I can't feel my legs or because my feet hurt so bad I want to hit something. It defeats the whole purpose of doing this." Cramps. His legs and feet were cramping.

"We will slow down and allow your body time to heal more naturally." His refusal of any medication made it essential she find more natural ways to relieve his pain.

He could feel her deep regret for causing this. He reached for her. "I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. Promise me you'll let this go and I'll try to stop being so disagreeable."

"I did this to you and until it is corrected I cannot let it go."

"There were a few people who got to me long before you did. They're responsible for my anger and I already told you the rest of it isn't important so you have to let it go so you can concentrate on helping me fix it." If she was going to feel guilty he might as well see if he could turn all that energy into something more useful than this self-flagellation. Couldn't be good having them both on the far left of the negative side of the emotional spectrum.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**A Kaleidoscope of Visions (RU)**

**A/N: Bondspeak in italics**

"T'Pol, are you here?"

"No, Trip it's me. We left Commander T'Pol back on the ship. You insisted. Don't you remember? The captain wanted us all to come down but you argued until he and the Commander stayed behind. We brought Major Hayes instead."

"Since when has the captain ever let me win an argument that meant it was okay to disobey an order?" Trip stood scrutinizing Malcolm. Captain Archer had been acting a little off but he'd never changed the makeup of an away team when Trip objected in the past and he didn't see him doing it now. And T'Pol would never stand by and let him dictate how she was going to do her job. Major Hayes was here. How was that possible when Hayes had been killed months ago by the Reptilians?

"I don't ask questions I just follow orders Commander."

"Are you alright Malcolm?"

"Fine, sir."

Was there anything of substance to hang onto in the last several days? "When did we come down to the planet?" Actually when had they left the research facility and how had they escaped from that cell? Trip looked around the unfamiliar world ...He studied the architecture of the nearby building and wooded area. Well, maybe it was a little familiar. But it wasn't because he'd ever been here before. It all felt unreal somehow.

"We've been here for hours. Maybe it's you who isn't alright."

Hours. How was that possible? "I was just in a cell with T'Pol, talking to the captain, who was in a cell with you and Hoshi. . . down the corridor from us. Any word on Fric and Frac?"

"Who are Fric and Frac? And I haven't been anywhere with Hoshi in months."

"We just played cards the other night."

"You and I played cards together?" Malcolm's laugh left no doubts about how unbelievable he thought the prospect of spending off-duty time with the engineer was.

"Yes, with T'Pol and Hoshi in the office."

"Office? Whose office?"

Trip dropped back against a nearby tree feeling a little queasy and disoriented until that familiar tingle made its presence known. That feeling that let him know he was not alone. _"T'Pol, what the hell is going on?"_

She stirred slightly he could almost feel it but there was no answer._ "T'Pol, I know you're nearby but why doesn't this feel right?" _No response came from T'Pol soTrip looked back at Malcolm.

"Mal, did you find the problem with the sensors? And why didn't they transport us to Enterprise?"

What was wrong with their chief engineer? Since when did he call him Mal? "What problem are you referring to Commander and why would we transport back to Enterprise. I'm quite sure Starfleet and the captain would object if we were to just abandon the shuttle we brought down."

They hadn't used a shuttle. T'Pol had determined it was outside the acceptable limits of safety to land a shuttle near enough to the research facility. "I thought T'Pol said it was too risky for a shuttle."

"Since when do you refer to the first officer as T'Pol?" Concern flooded the tactical officer's face.

"It's been a long day maybe I just need to get more sleep..." At the last minute, Trip realized he had no idea what time of day it was. He didn't know where he was or what had happened to Malcolm. Was this his dream or Malcolm's?

"The captain mentioned you seemed wrung out and stressed. You're supposed to be setting an example for your junior officers and the crew in general. Maybe you should try taking better care of yourself."

Trip could see that same look on Mal's face in his memories of their first year or so. That tactical officer wouldn't understand why Captain Archer let the Commander get away with not keeping himself in peak condition.

"I'll take that under advisement Lieutenant." Trip hadn't missed the prim and proper Malcolm Reed who first came aboard Enterprise and this was only making him miss their closeness more. If the old Mal were still around, they would not have become the best of friends. With no options but digging himself deeper into this hole, Trip decided to be more careful. He focused on Malcolm. He tried to feel him but there was nothing.

"So how far are we from completing our mission?" Trip needed to find out what he and Malcolm were here to do.

"We won't know until the Captain comes back with Gralik."

Gralik that doesn't make any sense as he wasn't part of the away team on that mission. Archer, Reed, T'Pol, and Hayes were the ones who went to the refinery. He tried to remember what they'd told him after they returned. "Has the captain decided how he wants to proceed?" He didn't even know for sure if this was where they'd sabotaged the Xindi's shipment.

---

Trip's words were like a whisper in her mind. So far away she couldn't reach him.

"Sub-Commander T'Pol."

Sub-Commander? No one had called her that in years she thought as she turned toward the voice. "Where am I?"

"Sub-Commander T'Pol if you are unable to perform your duties step away from your station." Her Vulcan captain ordered.

T'Pol looked down at the console with no recognition of any of the dials or screens in front of her. This was not Enterprise nor was there anything Vulcan here but herself and the Vulcans manning the bridge. Vulcans yes, but something wasn't quite right about them. One part of her mind searched for Trip. Where had he gone? Was he nearby or somewhere else? Where was she? The other more logical side began working out how to navigate in her surroundings, moving backwards into the mode of being a Vulcan Sub-Commander on an unfamiliar ship. She could do this. She had done it before when they thrust her aboard Enterprise without any experience on a Starfleet starship.

She had never been the totally unemotional Vulcan, as expected and often felt somewhat isolated serving on a Vulcan ship and once again the disapproving vibes were poking at her. Serving on a human ship had made it less vital that she spend the hours meditating to suppress her emotions enough to get by with her people and since she had bonded with Trip, her meditation time had lessened. After their bond was completed, she only suppressed the strongest of her emotions, allowing the bond and Trip to assist her with the rest.

The console looked like nothing she'd experienced before but the ships on the viewscreen were all too familiar. Klingons were moving in to attack. This wasn't real, it couldn't be. Earth wasn't at war with the Klingons and neither was Vulcan. The longer she stared at her station and took in the rest of the bridge the more she felt she'd seen this ship before. But where? An alarm sounded then the swish of the door opening caught her attention and for reasons she couldn't explain, something in the back of her mind left her half expecting to hear "Danger, Danger" coming forth from the robotic being that slide onto the bridge.

----

"This test is telling us nothing except that your subjects do not believe them to be real." The Regent complained.

"The data came from what we were able to retrieve from their computer without detection not their memories like the others. We cannot access their minds and we have no idea why." Several attempts had been made but the pair continued to resist with what appeared to be little if any effort was needed at all.

"If they fail to perceive their environment as their reality then we are wasting our time." They must break through their resistance.

"We must have engineers and soon or our power will be depleted and soon all our resources will be depleted. Continue and use the other humans to see if they have information or can be useful in breaking through the human and Vulcans resistance."

---

Trip sat there staring at the latest rendition of his mate. His own personal 'Twilight Zone' had been playing before him for some unspecified amount of time. Scenarios kept being enacted with him as the main player. The captain, Malcolm, Hoshi, and T'Pol were rotating as minor players in what he had finally decided was someone's elaborate series of movie sets. The familiarity of the scenes threw him for a while but then he recognized one of the worlds he'd been placed in. They were subjects in some experiment but what he couldn't figure out was the objective or the reasoning behind placing him in these imaginary scenes. He studied the T'Pol standing across the room from him dressed in some weird futuristic outfit from another unidentified made up world and laughed. The first time she appeared he'd reached out to touch her to ascertain if she were real. She'd been with him when this started so he reasoned she must be part of this too. The skin-to-skin contact was made and nothing. The tingling in his head remained constant though. Fear could have overcome him at this point but it didn't. That sensation was present and that meant she was alive and for now that was enough. Several more scenes and she appeared again. By then he was tired and his mind was losing it's ability to take in his surroundings and adapt. He'd been going along gradually playing his part, except that he never went near T'Pol again when she appeared. He relied on their bond from a distance to let him know she wasn't really there.

The scenes had changed more rapidly as if they came to realize he was tiring so they stepped up the search for the one that would let him accept his new reality. This new T'Pol moved towards him. He looked straight into her eyes, said "I'm not playing anymore"... and sat down, positioning himself as he did for meditation. His eyes remained open and his emotions receded. The exhaustion left him with nothing but that sensation. He sought it out, focused, and waited for her to answer his call.

He didn't know why they had been unable to connect in their normal fashion and had avoided this until so much had been taken from him that the fear he had refused to acknowledge was also gone and all he was left with was the belief in their connection. The calm floated through him and he felt her, knew she was with him_. "Missed you."_

"_It took several of their attempts to draw me in before I realized what they were doing." _

Trip smiled. _"Sorry it took me so long. I tried to figure this out and I think I was a little afraid you wouldn't be here. That I couldn't reach you."_

He hadn't let fear overcome him as it had in the past. He let the bond assure him she was still there and did his best to understand what was happening. It was the most logical course for a Starfleet officer to take._ "You did well and you're here now so let's concentrate on that. We are test subjects of some sort but the purpose is unclear. I came here after the fifth scenario when I recognized the world I was in from that animated movie you and Malcolm agreed was the worst kind of science fiction. I was the astronaut placed on that alien world likened as 1950's Earth. I refused to interact with the likeness of you who replaced the boy who should have discovered me and instead found a quiet place and began meditating. Have you been able to discover the purpose of this experiment?" _The movie T'Pol described was the last one they'd watched. Trip and Malcolm had gotten into a discussion bordering on an argument about their taste in movies and TV. They'd each selected examples for the group to watch starting with science fiction. Those movies were loaded into the computers memory and must have been mistaken as actual footage of life on their home planet. T'Pol figured that much out but not why their captors had done this to them.

"_No. I knew none of it felt real from the beginning and I started off trying to fit into each scenario hoping to figure it out but there's no explanation I can come up with." _ Trip gathered her up into his arms and held on letting the relief wash over them both.

"_Is there anyway you can use your mind to control them like you do to me?" _ She only tickled and teased him but he knew she was capable of more.

"_I was unable to on my own but with your assistance I may be able to break whatever hold they have on us."_

"_How can I help? I don't know anything about Vulcan mind control."_

"_When you next feel them in your mind all you need to do is lend me your strength through our bond. I will do the rest. It may cause you some pain so you will need to protect yourself and let me know when if it becomes necessary for me to stop." _

"_I'm tired of them treating us like their own private puppets so do what you have to do." _Trip turned inward concentrating on putting up barriers to protect the most vital areas of his brain.

---

"Where are we now?" T'Pol asked as she became aware that they were no longer in their minds and that their surroundings had changed.

"This is sci-fi hell. All they missed was Frankenstein and the Bermuda triangle." Trip screamed in frustration, as he took in their surroundings.

Trip looked outside the cave taking in the ocean, mountains, and jungle like terrain. "Well, maybe they didn't miss the Bermuda triangle after all. This looks like 'The Lost World'. Maybe we should let them know this isn't going to work and we'll never believe it's real."

"That would seem logical as I believe whatever they intend depends on their ability to recreate a reality that we find believable. And it has become apparent that they cannot access our own memories and must rely on what they were able to steal from the computer."

"Too bad it was only the early movies. The special effects got better later on and it would have been nice to see some of those worlds close up."

"I cannot believe you find anything about this acceptable." She said as she took in his smile.

"I don't but if we had to go through all this it would have been nice if the quality of films was on the higher end of the scale. . ." His voice trailed off but his thoughts continued. If they had to go through this why not wish for better quality movies.

"Being thrown into a world full of zombies who made me feel as if I was lunch is logical to you?" The look of incredulousness in her eyes told him how exasperated she really was with him.

"It's not about logic it's about . . .oh never mind." He could see the far away look that said she was no longer listening because she found his line of reasoning faulty. "Let's just sit here and meditate. Maybe they'll get as bored as we are and stop."

The pair sat knee to knee. "Commander Tucker that won't be necessary." The voice boomed from the far corner.

"Who are you and what are you trying to accomplish here?" The agitated engineer yelled back at what he assumed was a speaker.

"That is not important. You and your crew will be returned to your ship. It would be best if you left this region of space immediately."

"So you play with us for your own amusement and then expect us to just go away."

Trip and T'Pol heard another voice. "We do not have time for this. Send them back to their ship. We must widen our search and find replacements."

"Guess we didn't fit their requirements." Trip was amused at this revelation.

"I find that highly unlikely. You are an excellent engineer as are the Andorians. There must be another reason they are setting us free."

"And everyone accuses me of having a big head."

"There is nothing wrong with having pride in my mates' abilities."

"Well thank you and I won't tell anyone."

"What would there be to tell?"

"Vulcans aren't supposed to be proud are they? They do what is expected without regard to pride or kudos--I mean recognition."

"It was not pride in myself. . ."

"No but you're encouraging me to be proud and that reflects on you." He caught the regret and her pulling back from him. "I was teasing T'Pol. Don't take everything so seriously." She'd come so far in understanding him but he still needed to be more aware that she didn't always take his sarcasm in the teasing manner as intended.

---

The captain waited to see if his chief engineer was going to seek him out to discuss the events of the past several days. Archer, Malcolm, and Hoshi had spent hours talking through the weird scenarios they'd been through, trying to sort out the real from the fantasy. But Trip and T'Pol begged off when it came time for them to discuss their experiences. They'd written their official reports, but hadn't talked to anyone as far as the Captain knew. When Trip didn't seek him out Archer went in search of his friend. "Hey Trip you got a minute." He found him sitting quietly in the Mess Hall staring out at the stars.

"Sure. What's up?"

"I just wanted to see how things are now that everyone's back on board." Archer knew Trip had T'Pol to talk to but he still worried when he appeared to be keeping things inside. It never ended well.

"I'm not sure. I haven't talked to my crew yet. There are some questions and consequences we still need to sort out." There had been much to sort out in his own head before he could consider what to say to his staff. The detailed reports of Malcolm, Hoshi, and the Captain lead both Trip and T'Pol to understand that their experiences had been very different. The trio had been in a cell where the Revans attempted to pull memories from them involving Trip and T'Pol. They had been somewhat successful but the most accessible and vivid memories of each had come from their experiences with the Xindi while in the expanse. Trip and T'Pol had been subjected not to memories pulled from their own minds, but to those from their fellow officers and what their captors had stolen from the most recently accessed entries in the database, which had mistakenly been interpreted as the world the pair had come from. "What did Admiral Gardner have to say?" Not that he needed the captain to tell him what Starfleet's reaction would be. He could still hear Gardner's insistence that the Andorians should not have been allowed to be in charge on this mission. The captain had to alter his reports leaving out the details surrounding the beginning and ending of the attempts to alter their perceptions with mind games. Archer knew the worst of it had to do with their bond, Trip had confirmed that much. He also knew that same connection was what had prevented any of the crew being held captive as the Revans had finally relented after trying to get the Human and Vulcan to tell them why none of their techniques that had been successfully used on other species worked on them. When they were released, the Revans explained that they knew the coordinates of the station had been relayed to Starfleet and they could not hold so many of the crew of Enterprise and risk Earth, Vulcan, and Andoria sending ships to search for Enterprise.

"He didn't apologize for his earlier comments but he did say the whole area has been designated as off limits and warning buoys are being deployed."

"Are they going to try to find out what the hell they need to do to stop them?"

"They're working on it. He had another bit of news."

"Where are they sending us now?"

"We're heading back to Earth for a few days." Trip said he hadn't talked to Fric and Frac so he must not know. "Your lieutenants' time on Enterprise has come to an end."

They still had almost a month left. "So are the Andorians reneging and asking for them back early. And why go back to Earth? Can't Shran just rendezvous with us?"

"They applied for extended service with Starfleet but have requested that their new assignment be on another Starship."

"What? Did they say why?" Trip felt a twinge of hurt that they hadn't talked to him about this.

The hurt, surprise, and confusion on his friends face concerned him. "No. I assumed they talked to you because the request also stated that you be consulted as to which ship they were to be assigned to."

Trip fought back the surge of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Instantly he felt T'Pol there offering to assist him. "Well I guess we have a lot more to talk about than I thought." He switched totally into his professional persona and pushed all his emotions back. "Any advice?"

Archer had some but kept it to himself even though he knew Earth may be the last place Trip wished to be. "You're a senior officer so I think I'm going to just let you work this one out. You and Shran agreed to this little arrangement and while there have been more than a few issues for the most part you've done a good job with this whole assignment. You know your people so you're the best man to deal with this." This wasn't an assignment to Trip and Archer understood that. If the Andorians were leaving at their own request then Trip needed to speak to them on his own so they had a chance to explain why.

"Are you sure you're not just mad at me?" Jon got upset and yelled so if he was mad this was a new way of handling it.

"No. I'm just trying to heed some very good advice." He and Erika had discussed this further once he'd had a chance to really consider what she'd said to him. And he decided maybe she was right. For years now, he'd complained to Trip that he needed to grow as a commander but he hadn't seen how his interference had worked to prevent that from happening. But Trip found T'Pol and did it anyway. Until recently, Archer had not acknowledged his growth. If they were heading towards a conflict with the Romulans, like many in Starfleet feared, his officers were going to need all the experience they could get if they and Enterprise were going to survive. The Xindi had let them roam around the expanse for months until they got close to locating their homeworld. Things wouldn't be that calm with the Romulans as the location of their home was known and the Romulans were an aggressively violent, warrior race. They might not know much about them but all their encounters proved that to be true. So Archer was going to let his officers stretch much more than he had allowed in the past.

"Well just don't step back too far. I appreciate you're letting me handle things but I still need to be able to ask for advice." Trip shouted at his captain who was quickly fading from view. To Trip it was as if his captain was all hands on or all hands off and what he needed was a balance that worked for them all.

Archer stopped and turned at the end of the corridor. "I'll keep Gardner off your back if he becomes a problem but I don't think you'll need my help." Trip had his own network of friends.

"The Admirals all hate me. I attract all the wrong kind of attention according to them." Reporters, cameras, and 24-hour news flashes made Starfleet nervous and Trip and T'Pol attracted them all.

"That may be what they say to your face but have you really thought about how much things have changed for you? You have more friends, real friends, who are not human, than any crew member on this ship. Probably more than any other Starfleet officer."

"So do you."

"No, I have professional acquaintances. Shran considers me a friend but that's about it. The rest are more diplomatic relationships, not friendships. You've even managed to make friends with Soval. He and I have mutual respect for each other and we talk but he still doesn't trust me like he does you and I doubt he ever will." Archer knew his past feelings, actions, and attitudes were well known, and Vulcans were slow to forget.

"That has more to do with T'Pol than me."

Archer had been forced to examine a more realistic view of the development of the relationship between his senior officers, removing his emotional reactions from his observations and he saw that Trip had challenged T'Pol, at first, because she was a Vulcan. But that changed early on in their first year together. The young engineer began to respect her for her intelligence and then accepted her leadership. No longer challenging but assisting or questioning when he saw the need. Archer may have come to see T'Pol as the capable First Officer she was and let go of his preconceptions and prejudices but many Vulcans were and always would be wary of him. "No it doesn't. You first impressed him on Vulcan and with how you've handled yourself since with all the controversy, publicity, and criticism from Terra Prime and Starfleet." As frustrating as it was to stand back and watch Trip during that time Archer was proud that he stood up for his beliefs and protected T'Pol. "Soval helped **you** when you asked, not T'Pol." Archer was impressed that Trip had managed to get to a place where he felt comfortable asking the Ambassador for assistance.

Archer might be right. T'Pol hadn't even been aware he'd asked Soval for help. And Soval had stood up for both he and T'Pol with Starfleet. "Yeah I guess maybe you're right. But that doesn't mean I don't need my oldest friend and captain's advice."

"I'm not going anywhere but don't forget I'm not your only friend who has influence with Starfleet." Archer knew Trip's inclination would be to ignore his advice because he would not impose on his friends and because of his fear of being drawn into future conflicts between Earth and Vulcan. Trip insisted he was an engineer, not a diplomat. He behaved professionally and even diplomatically when meeting new species but that was as far as he wished to develop those particular skills. He signed on to explore, build, and maintain warp engines. Let Archer be Earth and Starfleet's representative and deal with all the headaches.

---

Trip sat in the lobby awaiting his summons to Admiral Gardner's office. While he waited, he tried going over the months since the two Andorians came aboard Enterprise preparing himself for the Admirals inquisition. He needed to be prepared to deal with the fallout from the incident at the research facility. Fric and Frac had tried to protect Enterprise and Trip by sacrificing themselves to the Revans once they knew what they were up to. Trip spent hours trying to make them understand that while he understood why they'd done what they'd done that as officers they should have known better. That they could not operate on their own and had to learn to rely on their crew. Getting through their Andorian stubbornness had taken time but they finally agreed that they were wrong and accepted that Trip was going to insist they be required to complete Starfleet's officers training while they were on Jupiter Station. He'd considered it before but now saw it as imperative that they understand and operate under the same rules as their human counterparts if they were going to remain in service as officers on a human starship.

The researchers on Revan turned out to be a combination of scientists and what translated to magicians. That wasn't how they described themselves but that was essentially, what they were. They used techniques to make suggestions to a subjects mind and potions, drugs really, to force compliance from whomever they deemed necessary to further their cause. The power stored under their facility was to be used for some sort of device to aid in extending the range of their mind control. The Andorians were their most recent attempts at replacing staff that had expired or were no longer acceptable. They had been destroying whole star systems to gather power for their purposes.

It had taken days to sort it all out and once they were transported off the planet, the crew of Enterprise never returned to the surface. Instead they did what they could to remove any signs of their having been there and made sure they destroyed anything that would be of assistance to the Revans ongoing research.

No intervention was needed on Trip's behalf. In fact, it all worked out in Trip's favor. Starfleet was satisfied that a threat to the quadrant had been discovered and that a trilateral agreement had been reached for Earth, Vulcan, and Andorian scientists to investigate the Revans and prevent them from destroying anymore systems.

The Andorians, Fric and Frac, were to remain in Starfleet for two more years. Their first official commission was on the NX-03 Challenger. It was due out of space dock in six months and they were to be Starfleet Lieutenants and share the position of seconds in engineering. In the meantime, they would be receiving some additional training while assisting the crews with the construction and testing of Challenger. The Admiralty was pleased and hopeful this would mean the engineers at Jupiter Station would learn what they'd done wrong with Columbia and get this ship and future ships out into space without Trip's assistance.

---

"Your package has arrived, Trip." Malcolm Reed smiled as he entered Engineering having just returned from HQ.

My package? Then something in his manner told him what Malcolm was referring to. "Where?"

"The office. Thought you'd want the privacy."

Trip gripped Malcolm's shoulder. "Did you talk to him?"

"Yes. He wasn't angry, actually he seemed relieved."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later." Trip quickly moved to the hatch. On the way, he let T'Pol know that Malcolm was back and had brought a message from John. He was on his way to view it and wanted her to join him.

Malcolm had delivered a message to Trip's brother asking that he allow Malcolm to bring him to Enterprise. Reed for his part guaranteed no one, not even Trip, would know of John's location. Trip had made him promise not to divulge anything about John that John had not given him permission to. The plan had been to get him to come see Trip, then to convince him to come to San Francisco with himself and T'Pol. If he couldn't be talked into any of that, at least Trip wanted to open up two-way communication between them. If he didn't trust that Trip wouldn't inform their parents of his whereabouts then Malcolm had agreed to set up a way for them to communicate that would keep John's location hidden.

T'Pol entered the room to find Trip staring at the blank screen of the computer he'd attached the recorder to. She could feel ripple after ripple passing through his system as the fear of what he might hear grew. She reached out hitting the start button on the device.

A young man dressed in a pullover and jeans sitting on a stool appeared. His hair was slightly darker than Trips and longer. The blue Tucker eyes, were tinted with a tinge of grey but they were just as piercing as his brothers.

"Still documenting your life on film I see. You must see some pretty incredible things out there. It would be a shame to forget anything."

Trip had hoped to see him in person but this was better than nothing. All his childhood memories of his sibling were still fresh. He'd told Tucker about John because in his universe his mother had lost her second son during childbirth and Tucker wanted some idea of what his brother might have been like had he lived. Trip slid his chair back.

"I know you wanted me to come there or let you come here but I have a quiet life. I own my own business. Started repairing shuttles and vehicles as a side job and ended up doing it fulltime." Trip could see his thoughts drifting for a minute. Maybe he was remembering all the hours he and Trip spent working on anything mechanical as teens. Trip's skills were far superior to John's but his older brother never made him feel inadequate. In fact, Trip spent time teaching him as much as he could until he left home.

"I want to see you too but I'm just not ready. It still hurts too much to think about...and I just can't. Your friend Malcolm gave me the letters you sent to Mo... you sent home and I watched the video message on the other disk and then destroyed it like you asked. Congrats on your news and thanks for trusting me with it." Trip had warned him about discussing private matters on a subspace transmission.

T'Pol had readily agreed to his request to tell his brother that they were husband and wife. Telling him felt right and he wanted it to be the first step in rebuilding a relationship with his brother.

"Let me know how things go in San Francisco. If you can find a way to reconcile with them maybe, there's hope that I can too. After reading what you wrote to them about what happened to you after the Xindi attack I decided it might not be a bad idea for me to find someone to talk to. It's been long enough trying to do this on my own without much success. Maybe if it gets to where it doesn't all feel so raw I'll take your friend up on his offer to come visit. In the meantime, Malcolm set up the system he told you about so keep in touch. If you write, I'll respond and I'll try to write more often myself. Oh and thanks for all the pictures. It makes me feel like I can share a little of your life out there. Be safe Trip and take good care of T'Pol. I don't know her but the way you talk about her in those letters I know how much she means to you. Do-nv-da-go-hv-I Di na da nv tli."

"Damn T'Pol he's in the States. He just said 'until we meet again, brother' in Cherokee. He's living on or near a reservation. Probably in North Carolina." Just knowing a general location made Trip feel better.

"We spent time there with our grandparents almost every summer. John loved it at their house and they had this cabin in the mountains." That's where he was. John was living in one of their grandparent's places. His parents would never think to look there. His father left as soon as he was old enough and never went back. Charles Jr's parents had always come to visit them until the year Trip turned thirteen. Maybe being a freshly minted teen gave him some bravado but he spent weeks hammering away at his father's resolve to get him to agree to let the kids spend time at their grandparent's home. After that, they spent two weeks every summer there camping and fishing, and tinkering as their grandfather called it, in his workshop. They had no responsibilities beyond making their beds and being kids.

"Are you going to look for him now that you know where to start?"

"No. He's trusting me a little here, testing me, and I'm not going to do anything to spook him. I'll ask Malcolm if I'm right and for now just knowing he's okay is enough." If John really needed time to get himself sorted out, that Trip understood. They could spend the time sending recordings and letters back and forth and get to know one another again.

A/N: Sorry about the delay in updating. I left several documents open in Word and then allowed my 9 year old grandson to use my computer to do something on the net. I learned to create backups frequently, never leave open docs unattended, and that Words auto save only works when the system crashed or losses power. I now have several chapters from the various stories that I'm working on that are in some kind of weird code. Chapters 30 to 33 of this story were casualties. The originals were much more in depth and longer word wise but redoing them, I lost some of what I had before. Between that and allergy season, which forces me to medicate to breathe or not and stay awake, I just couldn't remember what I'd written before after working on them for a month, so I've decided to back them up, go with what I have and let them do what I needed to accomplish moving the story forward to the new chapters I can do justice to.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**Shadows of Macular Degeneration (MU)**

"Commander those weapons aren't set on stun." The lieutenant yelled over to Tucker.

Tucker stared at the hole left by the blasts from the Vulcans weapons. "You're right. All weapons on kill, NOW." Tucker reached across and pulled the Ferengi supply officer down. "Didn't anyone teach you how to use that weapon?"

"They told me to point and shoot. I'm a negotiator not a soldier." The supply officer replied back to him.

"Join the club. I'm an engineer but that's no excuse for an officer in the Resistance not knowing how to use his weapon." He grabbed a hold of his lieutenant's insignia. "Unless you have a death wish I suggest you spend some of that time you've been wasting boring us to tears with those 285 rules of acquisition and acquire the knowledge needed to stay alive in a firefight." Tucker abruptly stuffed him between two rocks. "Stay put and hold on to this." He gave him the bag of lithium crystals they'd just made a deal to obtain. "If anyone comes through there..." He motioned to the opening just beyond the rocks as he relocated the slid on the weapon from stun to kill. "...point that damn thing at them and shoot." He'd have to warn T'Pol and the rest of the team to be careful, in case, the Ferengi got easily spooked. Couldn't have them being shot accidentally. He'd have to get with Mickey to see that no one left the ship without having enough training to at the very least defend themselves.

Tucker walked away listening to the Ferengi muttering about adding a new rule...something about ranking Humans right up there with Klingons.

When he informed T'Pol about the supply officer's lack of skill with his weapon, she wasn't surprised. Ferengi were not known as a violent people, except when it came to acquiring wealth and power. They ruthlessly directed all their attention and abilities to that pursuit but stopped short of actually killing to achieve stature amongst their people.

"I'll speak to Mickey. His security officers will retrain him when we get back, if I don't bring about his demise first." Having had to ignore his sexual innuendos and constant chatter she'd be sure the training was rigorous and left the little nuisance beaten and battered.

Under normal circumstances, Tucker might have been concerned about her impatience with the supply officer, but he knew how agitated she had become the minute the attack started. "You stay here and I'll take Bremnell and Rostockin with me." He planned to take out the Vulcans long before they got close enough for T'Pol to be forced to take a Vulcan life.

"Be careful."

"Always, I promise. Just keep the grand pomba over there alive." His name was Nimbus but for some reason every time Tucker said it he burst out laughing so he'd resorted to call him 'the Ferengi' or the 'grand pomba' until he could find a way not to laugh. It didn't help that one of the crew informed them that Ferengi's earlobes were one their major erogenous zones. When Tucker heard the Ferengi's continuous suggestive comments about performing some technique called oo-mox to T'Pol's ears or asking her to perform it for him his internal laughter at the thought of what she would do combined with the unnatural reaction to his name took over and there was no hope of stopping himself from busting loose. Every part of him prayed to be present to see what was left if the oversexed Ferengi ever actually tried to follow through and touch her ears.

"Wasn't it the Grand Nagus?" T'Pol reminded him after having listened to the supply officer regale them with tales of their leaders exploits at acquiring wealth and power.

The head Ferengi was a 'nag' that should be easy to remember. "Whatever. Just keep your head down and don't surprise him."

---

She'd finally located him after checking deck 14 and then moving up a deck. Sensors weren't able to penetrate this part of deck 15 and he had her blocked out of the bond. His ability to manipulate the bond was improving daily. "What are you doing in here?"

"Trying to find a way to rework the deflectors so we can use them on the Xindi ships." The Reptilians, Insectoids, and Aquatics all had much more advanced technology than the Terrans but could use the deflector technology. They had given Tucker the schematics and specs for their ships in hopes that he could incorporate the deflector technology Defiant used into the Xindi ships to better protect them. Once he was successful the Xindi would provide the Resistance with several of these newly redesigned ships.

"Why do you insist on being untruthful when I can sense your true intentions?"

He took a drink from the near empty beer he'd picked up from behind him. "I'm not trying to lie to you it's just I needed some time to figure some stuff out." He'd killed all but two or maybe three of the Vulcan soldiers today and was having difficulty coming to terms with the aftermath.

"There is no reason for you to be upset. There was little you could have done differently."

"What are you talking about? What are my true intentions? Stop trying to be all-cryptic. I'm not a mind reader." He complained, being in no frame of mind to even attempt deciphering her words. He really just wanted to be left alone. And she was so wrong, there was a lot he could have done differently. There were always choices to be made and today his choices had left a crew of ten Vulcans dead and covered over in a hole on that planet. Once that was done, he'd ordered their ship brought to Defiant to be recycled so it would never be found. His thinking at the time was that having these 'elite' soldiers simply vanish might make the Vulcans a little apprehensive about sending out more of their death squads.

T'Pol sat back against the bulkhead and waited...waited for him to see the irrationality of his statement. His head rose up and the look in his eyes made it clear he actually heard what he'd said. "You understand the inherent problem with your statement?"

Why did he even try to hide things from her? He couldn't use the excuse that their bond was new anymore and besides drinking only made the likelihood of keeping things to himself even more impossible because it would negate whatever control he had managed to hold on to. The only reason he didn't know what she was thinking or feeling was because he had blocked her out. She was close enough now that he could feel the emptiness his absence left in her mind. "Yeah, I know I'm a selfish bastard. I didn't mean to do that to you and it won't happen again." His first instinct when he felt so lost was to retreat and having this connection to T'Pol was still not natural to him so he'd closed it off without thinking. He slowly let her back in.

He threw the bottle against the door and laid his head back against the bulkhead. "I sensed you and them in my mind down there and then I just knew what they were thinking and after that all I could think about was defending you." The Vulcans had attacked them on the way back to the shuttlepod. There was no attempt to kidnap them this time. Their mission must have been changed to killing both Tucker and T'Pol. Weapons fire at the other members of the away team had been shots meant to disable or stun. The shots fired at Tucker and T'Pol were kill shots.

"You seem to have a limited empathic ability but they were Vulcans and for whatever reason you are very sensitive to our telepathic abilities. You most likely sensed their thoughts and emotions." There was no explanation for his sensitivities. If humans had the brain capacity for emphatic or telepathic abilities they most certainly had never used them. All she had done was help shield his thought from the Vulcans so the rest had come from his own mind.

"There's a big difference between knowing this stuff and knowing this stuff." Tucker took a deep breath as awareness dawned on him. He was just beginning to understand the big gulf between what he knew and what he truly understood about this bond. He didn't need to ask but just in case he was wrong, he asked anyway. "You don't know anymore about this than I do, do you?"

"No. Why are you so..." She didn't have words to describe these emotions so instead of trying to guess she asked. "What are you feeling?"

"They wanted us dead. Wanted you dead." And once he'd felt that his insides exploded and everything broke loose and something happened that had never happened before. He fired his weapon with the intention of killing whoever stood between him and what needed to be done. No doubts, no hesitation, and no fear. Just a singular purpose to protect T'Pol.

"You did what you had to do." She had come to the conclusion he had insisted she stay clear so she would not have to be the direct cause of her people's deaths.

"And I'd do it again no problem. But then again that is the problem."

---

The Vulcans started to move from behind the trees and rocks and fired their weapons in their direction. Something had alerted him before they were even visible and all his senses became very active. Some unknown part of his brain became dominant and took over and his reactions became automatic. The device to cloak his bio-signs was engaged and he went into stealth mode, moving to put the sun at his back. The first two Vulcans hadn't seen anything in the intense light that came over his shoulder. The energy from his weapon burned into their flesh leaving fist-sized holes in their chests. The others were alerted when their comrades fell and began encircling the area they believed him to be in, but he had already moved several feet away.

Weapons fired in the location he had left T'Pol and his chest tightened so much around his heart he found it difficult to take in air. He felt a sudden surge in the back of his mind telling him she was unhurt and his muscles relaxed almost immediately allowing him to refocus on his objective. Three or four more Vulcans were several feet in front of his perch. He quietly continued to move upwards in the rocks and tucked himself in snuggly to wait until the group placed themselves into his unobstructed line of fire. All four moved into sight and he opened fire hitting the first two and watched as the security team he left with T'Pol and the Ferengi took out the other two as they ran back the way they had come.

His comm beeped signaling that Bremnell and Rostockin had moved into position on the other side of the next outcropping as they'd discussed. The noise sent a warning to the soldiers that Tucker and the others were supposed to herd in a northerly direction trapping them in a crossfire. Tucker hit his comm and told T'Pol's team to move and then he climbed back down to ground level and joined in the forward push. Once the elite soldiers realized what was happening they reversed course but it was too late. Tucker stood waiting. The first team came through the opening between the rocks and met with his phaser firing at them. He killed the first soldier outright. The second one was only injured but it was serious enough to slow him down and Bremnell followed the trail of green blood he left behind and finished him off. The others were surrounded and had no chance of escape but fought to the end rather than surrender.

"I've watched death and I've kept the weapons systems functioning on Enterprise and I'll do the same on Defiant, but I've never thought of myself as a killer." But today and how he felt now changed that. "I don't feel anything about what I did except that I'm glad I did it so you didn't have to." He continued to see the events unfold in his mind but he felt nothing.

She saw the horror, at his own reaction or lack of reaction, in his eyes. "You do not feel anything because I have taken the guilt and pain from you and suppressed it with my own emotions regarding the events of today."

"What?" He yelled at her.

"You heard me. You may be blocking the bond but it allows me to do whatever is needed to keep you alive and well."

"What the hell's wrong with you? You can't just swoop in and take away my emotions without asking me." He couldn't believe she would do that after what they'd already gone through. Having memories with no emotions was far worse than knowing he should have memories but didn't.

"I did not think it necessary to make you suffer because you wished to prevent my suffering." She hadn't given her actions any thought as she was not removing memories and it would not cause him any physical harm.

His voice seemed louder in the confined space and his anger was still building. "I killed them T'Pol and I would do it again but that comes with a price and I'm more than willing to pay that price." To Tucker's way of thinking this was the other side of these feelings he had for T'Pol. For them to have something good there had to be something bad to balance out the other side.

"Do you have any idea how much it terrified me to think I could kill them and not feel anything? Made me think I was becoming some kind of....I don't know what it would make me if I let you just take it all away and I never feel the consequences of my actions." Is this how Reed and Phlox started down that dark road they ended up on? Or was this what drove Archer into insanity?

"I had not considered that. We Vulcans understand the consequences but must suppress the emotions or risk being overwhelmed by them." He was feeling guilty about not feeling guilty.

"Humans are hardwired different than Vulcans. It won't be...what's the word you use...it won't be pleasant but I need to feel what I do and learn to live with it. If that's the price for having you in my life, protecting you, keeping you safe and with me then I'll pay it." With all the determination, he could find he reiterated, "I will. You have to give it all back to me." He had not been directly responsible for another beings death before and thinking himself unfeeling...what a relief it was to know that he wasn't some kind of unfeeling monster.

"I fear what will happen if I do." His emotional stability had improved slightly but she feared this would undo any progress he had made.

His hand roughly grabbed at the back of her head and pulled her forward so he could reach the contact points on her face, startling her. He recited the words and she repeated them to him. He was inside her mind. "Trip said he melded with his T'Pol when she was in that trance so I assumed that meant I could also."

Her shock subsided a little. "We are bonded I should have known it was possible. Why did you wish to meld?"

"First, you can never do something to me without asking me first. If I can't trust you...Do you understand?" He felt her response of yes. "Search my mind; look at whatever you have to to understand that I know what I'm asking." There was desperation in his voice. "It's not going to be the same as what we've lived with up to now, but there's no choice." Once he saw that she perceived what he had been trying to make her see, his anger subsided, and he asked her to do something else.

"Now I want you to check the damage to my brain. I've been feeling this sensation for several days now. The closest thing I can compare it to is when a wound is healing and it begins to itch constantly and drives you crazy." It wasn't an itch exactly it was more a rawness.

"You think the damage is healing?" She could feel his optimism.

"It might just be wishful thinking but I didn't lose it today like I have before." He'd been extremely angry and his insides turned cold but for the most part he had been able to remain in control. "In fact my thinking was very clear and I even knew some new survival skills, which I assumed came from you." A couple of moves he'd never studied came to mind along with the uses of his weapons he'd never practiced before.

T'Pol's mind searched through Tucker's mind to sense those places that had been injured by her actions.

"Whoa! What was that?" Tucker felt the intensity of their connection spike as he felt his body and mind merge more intimately with T'Pol. "You made the meld stronger?"

"As fully bonded mates we are able to form a meld that is much more intimate and fully connects our beings in every possible way." T'Pol twitched slightly when he reached out and touched her.

"I felt like it was my own reaction." This was all very intense.

"We are one at this moment so it was our reaction." The increase in their connection increased her sensitivity to the energy flow throughout his neural pathways.

"The neural tissue is raw and shows some signs of regenerative activity but I am not qualified to know how extensive it is or how long it will continue."

"Sounds good. Now can you let go of everything you've been hiding from me?" She thought he didn't know but he saw those lines in her forehead and around her eyes when the guilt and regret was too much for her and she had to use techniques that required immense amounts of energy to keep things hidden.

"I will try."

He wouldn't let her put him off this time. "I'm getting better, it's time to just let it go T'Pol. Don't tell me you'll try, do it because I'm asking you to." There was much they would need to deal with in this war and with the Vulcans. Looking in the rearview mirror would only sap the strength they'd need to act in the future. And Tucker understood now that there was little he could do to protect her from the realities of her own people wishing them dead. He could and would continue to act so she would not have to actually kill another Vulcan, as long as possible, but she would still experience these acts through their connection.

She read his thoughts. He pleaded with her repeatedly. He was willing to sacrifice his own moral sense to spare her so she pushed at the thoughts and emotions until she felt them leave her consciousness. She allowed him to feel her apply the necessary force to do as he asked as she suppressed all her guilt, remorse, and regret for all her past mistakes in this relationship.

"I cannot give you back today because that would mean unleashing my own emotions again but I will never remove your emotions from your mind again unless you ask me to or it becomes necessary for me to do it to ensure your health."

"Thank you."

It had taken thirty-nine years to have something in his life that was this important to him and gave him a restful sense of peace, something...someone to depend on. And now that they'd come through the worst of their past there was no way he would go back. He gently pulled free of her mind and removed his fingers from her face as she did the same. "I say we go to our quarters and take the longest, hottest shower ever and then we crawl into bed, snuggle up, and get some much needed sleep." He saw the desire in her eyes and saw that she was making absolutely no attempt to mask it. He bent over and kissed her. "Or not."

---

"You called this meeting so what's up?" Tucker had concerns and he knew Mickey did too.

"The captain has ordered me to work with both of you to minimize the risk to the crew when there's a chance of our being attacked by the Vulcans. We've concluded that we have a spy on this ship. Someone has to be reporting to the Vulcans unless they managed to get some sort of tracking device aboard." That was the only explanation for how they continuously located the pair. Tucker had managed to alter their warp signature regularly and altered all the frequencies that would have been associated with Starfleet so it would be most difficult for them to be tracked with sensors.

"When we were on Xindus the Council did mention they had had reports about us. We never pursued it but perhaps we should have. It would have been someone from Defiant's original crew. It's also possible that some of the new crew members are also loyal to the Vulcan Council."

"I have begun to check all their backgrounds but so far no one seems to stand out. Is there anyone who would have had access to communication devices that were undetectable?"

"Lt. Soval and Lt. Remuc were both designated as communications officers for Avenger and Enterprise." Both were Vulcans.

T'Pol's face showed no expression. Tucker had noticed she was working hard at keeping the expression off her face, but he knew exactly what was truly going on inside. And at this moment she was upset to think that any of the Vulcans she had been working with would betray them. "Investigate Lt. Soval first and very thoroughly."

Tucker didn't see that coming and he felt the sharp jabs of pain when she said it outloud.

"What's the problem with Soval?" The security officer didn't miss the look of surprise that crossed the human's face, but then it was also obvious he agreed with Commander T'Pol's statement.

"If transmissions were being made then one or both of the lieutenants are responsible. No one else was given the codes or access to the equipment, which each had in their quarters, during their rotation. Of the two, I suspect Lt. Soval to be the traitor. At first, I thought his behavior was because he wasn't from our crew. But now that he's joined our crew he only tolerates Commander Tucker because he outranks him but most days only barely." Soval had always walked a fine line between insubordination and civility with Tucker but his open resentment of having to answer to a human wasn't missed by any of the crew.

Mickey continued along the same lines. "And whoever it is has been in direct contact with the Council and would have been provided with whatever they needed to carry out their assignment." The equipment on Defiant had all been relocated to the communication office and Lt. Erath was the only one given new codes once they arrived at Xindus. But the Vulcan Council would have provided their spy with a new transmitter. He studied the Vulcan. "Commander, do you have any suggestions on how we uncover who it is making unauthorized transmissions to Vulcan?"

T'Pol wanted to trust in her Vulcan crew as much as she knew Tucker did but she could not. "Commander Tucker may trust the crew but do a complete check on the activities and background of all the Vulcans, concentrating on those who were raised on Vulcan, as they would have had contact with the Council. Then move on to those that have family on Vulcan who could be threatened. There may be more than one disloyal crewman." Indicating herself and Tucker, she went on. "We will discuss this matter and come up with a plan to uncover who is responsible for any unauthorized communications with Vulcan. If I can be of any assistance feel free to ask." She felt Tucker's dismay and alarm. So she kept thinking about how she would not risk his life so she could hold onto a belief in her own people. A people that had already proven to them that they could not be trusted.

Tucker tried to feel sorry for what was happening because of the turmoil it created for T'Pol, but that would mean that he and T'Pol were not together and he would never feel sorry about that. He snapped out of his reverie when it became apparent that his negative emotions were feeding into the bond and combining with T'Pol's making it impossible for her to complete her suppression techniques. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and focused on pulling his own emotions back into his own mind to allow T'Pol time to process and separate her own.

"Are you alright Commanders?" The security officer became concerned when both Commanders closed their eyes and seemed to be somewhere far removed from his office.

"We're fine." Tucker opened his eyes and responded, while thinking they would need to be more careful in the future. But not knowing how to accomplish that when she needed his support like she just had. "Do you need us for anything else?"

"Unless you two are willing to explain why the Vulcans are acting with none of their normal reason and logic, in their pursuit of you..." He saw the negative response. "...then no." The head of security wanted them to trust him but he knew that for Tucker it would take time and he suspected Commander T'Pol being Vulcan precluded any openness from her as to the motives of the Council.

"Can you put the Captain off us for tonight? We'll meet with him in the morning. I'm not up to being grilled about this anymore." He and Captain Vorack weren't on bad terms but they weren't exactly comfortable with each other either. The engineer often felt as if he was being studied when the Captain was around. Besides Tucker wanted to go meditate with T'Pol. They both needed to decompress a bit before they had to work through this latest twist and she needed to put in some major time putting down these emotions raging through her.

---

Tucker entered their quarters contemplating this new crew he was now a part of. They were blindly protecting him and T'Pol and so far had asked for little information as to why. That they each took the oath to defend and protect their fellow crewmen seriously was something he was becoming accustomed to. That and readjusting his command style from one of barking orders and issuing threats to motivate his engineers to assigning tasks and monitoring progress because they all came with their own motivation for doing their jobs. These were his major challenges.

The humans on Enterprise were the ones fighting each other for power and position. The aliens did their jobs trying not to draw attention to themselves. The mood here was still dark and at times depressing, they were at war, and it wasn't like there weren't tempers that flared or angry words spoken between the crew. It was that they had all set aside their differences and volunteered for this duty and shared the common goal of defeating the Empire. That was what drove each of them to perform, not threats of torture or death. And while they each faced their own mortality every day that attitude somehow made things seem lighter, less oppressive. And it didn't hurt that security's main function was to protect the ship and crew not monitor their internal activities and maintain discipline amongst the crew.

"There's a dozen messages here from Lizzie." Tucker pulled up the screen to listen to them.

"I need to talk to you. Something weird is going on with the Vulcans. You're on a starship so why can't they find you? Why aren't you calling me back?" He could hear the fear in her voice. He didn't listen to the rest instead he hit the transmit button and requested the comm officer contact Lizzie for him.

"Weird and Vulcans. That could mean anything." Tucker paced while he waited for the comm officer to reach Lizzie.

"Sir, I have tried several times but there is no answer. I left a message for your sister to contact you. Will there be anything else?"

"No. Leave Lt. Erath a message to have his staff keep trying every few hours. If you can't raise her soon I'll have Mickey contact security at the camp and have them locate her." Tucker flicked off the screen.

T'Pol came from the bedroom holding his sweatpants and a robe. "Change and we will meditate."

"Not sure that's going to help right now." Tucker rubbed his eyes trying to focus his mind to stop all the random thoughts and fears from overwhelming him.

"You are doing much better with your control, but you will not sleep or your nightmares will keep your sleep from being restful if you do not calm your mind."

The evening did not progress as planned. Tucker changed into the sweats but kept on his shirt and put his shoes back on and left to walk off his upset at not being able to reach Lizzie, not wanting to inflict his bad temper on T'Pol. She had meditated then taken refuge in the lounge with a cup of tea. Her thoughts drifted to her mate's mental condition and the lack of further progress in repairing his damaged brain tissue.

When Tucker entered the room she could see he was angry. These public displays of anger usually meant his control had been compromised and whoever was present became the target of his outburst. But as he approached, her assessment of his mood changed. Yes, he was angry but this was a controlled burst of anger, and it was directed at her.

Tucker sat next to her on the couch and leaned in to speak. His mannerisms broadcast his anger and the other occupants of the room moved to the outer edges well away from the couple. "What is all that crap floating through your head again?"

His semi-calm demeanor caught her off guard. In a matter of two or three steps he'd gone from what appeared to be extreme anger to only being slightly irrational. T'Pol took a moment to examine where her mind had wandered. Until she became involved with Tucker she would never have allowed her thoughts to float freely as she had just been doing. Now she found it beneficial to let the minor stresses of her day just float away without analysis of any kind to conserve energy for dealing with her most stressful thoughts and feelings. "I was not thinking of anything in particular so you need to be more specific."

"Something about Corporal Cole and me and then something about your responsibility to take care of my problem because you caused it. I thought you suppressed all that when I asked you too."

"I did, but I have been curious about the nature of our bond and that time is part of how our bond came about." She breathed in waiting for the explosion but instead it was like someone had let all the air in his body out. His shoulders dropped and his mind became less active and more focused.

"Corporal Cole has nothing to do with our bond, never did." Tucker saw the memories she had of Cole. Her animosity to the woman and her threats to kill her if she did not stay away from Tucker or if she mentioned the threat to him. "You would have killed her?" Surprise didn't cover what he was now feeling. At that time, he'd thought T'Pol hated him and by the time she had spoken to Cole he had already been actively trying to distance himself from her, from all women.

T'Pol then saw his memories of his time with the MACO. "Maybe if she had not taken my warning seriously. But once I spoke to her she had no further contact with you. I've often wondered why she gave up so easily. Being human she would have had little difficulty convincing Major Reed or other MACO's to eliminate me." She'd stayed away until the second Tucker showed up then her interest in attracting one of them was renewed.

"I wasn't interested in her for anything more than sex and that only lasted a couple of weeks. When she stopped pursuing me I was actually relieved that I didn't have to break things off with her." After the lack of having female companionship was no longer an issue he came to realize Cole's only purpose was to relieve his stress and using her or any other woman to accomplish that wasn't satisfying because it required so much work on his part to pretend an interest. After that he never sought diversion by spending time with another woman.

That and other peculiarities were exactly why T'Pol was examining this bond between herself and Tucker. Now that they both acknowledged the bond, it was more active in her mind and almost non-existent, at times, in his. Unless of course they were melding or meditating. "As for the other thoughts you heard it is true they concern our bond and my refusal to accept it but not with the emotional upheaval as before. All the emotions attached to these events have been suppressed and no longer affect me."

"So you're looking at this scientifically?"

"Yes, it is empirical data as to the creation and formation of our bond and I wish to understand how it works. It does not appear to function as a typical Vulcan mating bond."

The pair was interrupted when the murmurs around them became louder. "What a rag tag bunch of ships." Tucker stood and stepped to the window taking in the odd collection of ships that kept appearing around them. Defiant was an unplanned addition to the Resistances' ability to battle the Empire, so when they arrived it had taken the Leadership Council time to reassess their strategy and come up with a new plan. The arrival of these ships said they had finalized or were near finalizing those plans.

"All senior staff to the Captain's conference room." Came over the speakers. Several of the crew present moved to follow the directive.

Tucker's comm sounded. "Tucker I need you and Commander T'Pol to see me in my office before this meeting." Vorack assumed Commander T'Pol was with him or he'd know where she was.

"Yes, sir. We're on our way." Great. Their morning meeting had just been moved up.

---

Captain Vorack sat behind his desk shuffling a stack of padds stopping to read blips of information on one then another. The Mazurite finished then motioned for the pair to have a seat.

"Arnon has sent through the revised strategy for our newly formed fleet. It seems after reviewing the recommendations of yourselves, Tovosh, and several others that Defiant will retain its designation and will indeed be the flagship of the Resistance." The captain caught the perplexed look on Tucker's face. "Something you don't understand?"

"Just wondering who Arnon is?" He assumed he had something to do with the leadership of the Resistance but had not heard the name before. Tovosh headed security and they had met when he first arrived on Xindus. The Vulcan had questioned Tucker for several hours before he was finally released and sent for further training. Tucker was also wondering about this fleet and how it was to operate.

"I forget you are not familiar with our leaders. Arnon is the head of the military branch and works closely with Tovosh, who is the head of security."

Seeing the engineer was satisfied, "Now to continue...they have decided that as captain of Defiant I am to be the new Fleet Captain." Vorack hadn't considered this possibility when he accepted his assignment to Defiant. "The leadership has also forwarded their recommendation that both of you should share some of the responsibilities of my new position. And while you and I do not always see eye to eye Tucker I do trust your commitment to our cause." He reached into his desk and held out new insignia to each of them. "Effective immediately you are both Fleet Commanders."

"No way... I'm an engineer, and what the hell does a fleet commander do anyway?" In Starfleet, Tucker had been a commander and headed up engineering but his authority had not extended much past there with the MACOs and Reed aboard. He'd relented when the leadership of the Resistance insisted that all crews on starships must also serve as soldiers but he didn't want any more command authority. It would only draw his attention away from his main tasks.

"You and Commander T'Pol will be responsible for all engineering and scientific developments and needs for the entire fleet. And by my order, your orders will be followed as if they were mine. Strange as this may sound our Vulcan head of security, Tovosh, has ordered me to allow the two of you to work together as a team and to work out the details of how you accomplish this. And I've been ordered to refrain from inquiring into your difficulties with the Vulcan Council." Vorack had little doubt that Tovosh and the rest of the leadership knew why the Vulcans wished his commanders dead, but they made it quite clear the Captain's responsibility was to ensure they both stayed alive and were able to fulfill their duties.

T'Pol could sense Tucker's many questions. He'd requested more time and training for the crew. There was much they didn't know or had no experience with on this ship. All departments needed to train and then required practice to be comfortable utilizing these new systems to their fullest before having to engage in battle with the much more battle worn crews aboard Starfleet's ships. He and T'Pol were currently working with and training a team to utilize the holodeck for training missions. If they could simulate scenarios for the crew without wasting resources or risking serious injury or death it could be the difference between winning and losing. Now it seemed this project was going to take on new importance as it would assist them in training larger numbers of crewman utilizing the ever-expanding technology, ships, and equipment available to them.

"You're not asking so that means we have no choice?"

"I will not force a promotion or the duties that come with it on anyone. There are some who will resent a human being given command over the other species but you are the most qualified for the position. You have demonstrated your ability to command and you are an excellent engineer who I must rely on to run this ship and retrofit it's technology into our other ships." Vorack had witnessed his engineering abilities and concluded that even if he weren't more skilled than some of their other engineers, he learned at an alarming rate and his mind saw all possibilities when it approached a problem. He had a total disregard for what he had been taught about the laws of physics or warp theory and what was thought to be possible so to Tucker there was endless potential for all the new technology Defiant contained. And he taught his staff to think that way also. Which only increased the potential benefits of having a futuristic starship. He'd even taken it upon himself to insist that the manuals reflect any upgrades or changes made to ship. He was currently fulfilling his new responsibilities on Defiant. Now he would just need to expand his knowledge and expertise to include the fleet.

They were not going to replace him and forcing Vorack to promote someone just to fill the position was the same as what he'd done on Enterprise. Tucker didn't say anything for the longest time then he simply removed his insignia and replaced the bronzed version with the silver one. T'Pol did the same.

"We had better get to the conference room. Our crew will be meeting then we have several meetings to arrange with the other crews. After you will need to start pulling together your senior staff and planning training and practice runs for the entire fleet with security and tactical. I have a few suggestions for who I think should be part of your staff and I will make myself available if you require my input." Vorack had served with many of those he now had authority over. Tucker, of course, had little knowledge beyond the crew he'd served with in Starfleet and T'Pol had been away long enough that many of the crews were unknown to her. "By the way, I have a message from Tovosh. He wants the two of you to contact Commander Mikakalas, who will arrange a subspace call to security on Xindus as soon as this initial meeting is over."

The captain was aware of what it was that the head of security wished to discuss with Tucker but deemed it necessary to deal with the new responsibilities of his fleet before the human got news of his sister.

"Mickey is the most qualified for security..." Tucker stopped when he saw the captain shaking his head.

"Why do you insist on renaming everyone?" The captain had heard several of the crew being referred to by names other than their own.

"Well... during training it became obvious that I could be dead by the time I got Commander Mikakalas out. Too many consonants and I can't say it right half the time. I asked if he had a surname but he said I wouldn't be able to pronounce it and he seems fine with Mickey." And he assumed the rest of the crew agreed with his reasoning because the name stuck immediately. Rank was used at times but for the most part only during meetings or those times, rank was important. It hadn't taken Tucker long to realize there was no requirement to salute to ones superiors either. All that was required was showing them the respect their positions were due.

Vorack saw his point. It was cumbersome at times to get out some of the crews names, especially in situations where crew was stressed and timing was of the essence. "Well, then I agree with your assessment that Mickey is the best choice to head security."

"Then he needs to be a full Commander." He needed the authority the rank would give him if he was to be senior staff.

"You will be responsible for finding or promoting those in your crews that are capable of filling senior staffing requirements and reporting to you. You must also find those who can take over your respective departments, as your duties require." The captain handed him back the insignia Tucker just taken off. They each noticed the captain's insignia was now also silver in color. "Make a list of any further promotions and submit them to me for approval."

"You aren't going to inform him?" Tucker looked at his hand, surprised. He never promoted a crewman by choice before. They'd always advanced by assassination of their superior.

"No, you wish him promoted and he should be aware of that." Letting his new fleet commanders hand out their own promotions could only help to bolster the confidence the crew had in them both. Vorack was a good captain and could keep the fleet focused and working as a team but he also knew his limitations. The limitations of the Resistance as a whole. They had been fighting the empire for years but never had the strength or organization to do more than tie them up in endless skirmishes all over the quadrant. There were no great military strategists or grand plans to win this war until now. He was now tasked with finding those that were capable of learning and leading them into a more optimistic future.

Having previously had doubts about Tucker, the captain watched his reactions very closely. Many thought humans were incapable of controlling their darker emotions. That they were all-volatile and had a predisposition to be cruel with no positive attributes. The captain had had to call Tucker on his shortness with his crew. Many had complained of his habit of yelling out orders and lack of ability to simply talk to them but that had become less of a problem as he worked at learning how to function effectively, with several different species, without yelling. He'd needed to learn how to train them and teach them about this new technology, not torture and torment them. He'd also needed to adjust to being the only human in the Resistance. Changing that was one of the suggestions Tucker had made to the leadership but until that happened he was on his own.

The human's emotions registered on his face and in his body but he would then look to Commander T'Pol or close his eyes and concentrate inwardly and control his breathing, much like Vorack had observed Vulcans do, and his calm returned. His captain had been right about whatever the connection was between these two and his recent orders confirmed that there was something going on there but those orders very explicitly said they were to be left alone.

That his crew would form close ties and personal relationships was to be expected and the captain would not interfere with any of his crews personal lives as long as they did their jobs. For many of the crewmen these were the only connections they had as they hadn't been to their home worlds in months, some years. And if they were to do what their leaders had planned, there would be more and more of them that had never seen where their species originated from, ever.

---

"Mickey. Where the hell are you?" Tucker stood in the security office yelling, impatient to make that call to Tovosh.

"They can hear you two decks away Tucker." The head of security should be used to him by now but at times, the human still made him a little crazy. Tucker had been patiently waiting for word from Xindus but the head of security could see his patience was not endless and would soon be exhausted.

"My sister's missing and I need to know what happened to her. If this Tovosh doesn't know then I need some way to find out." They'd had several sessions with the underlings at security on Xindus but they had done little to allay Tucker's fears. It was bad enough that he was too far away to go look for her himself and had to depend on a Vulcan of all people to be in charge of the search for him but he wasn't wasting anymore time waiting to hear from Lizzie or for someone on Xindus to get worried enough to really look for her.

"I thought Commander T'Pol's presence was requested for this meeting." Mickey looked around but didn't see her.

Tucker focused a second to locate her in the science lab. "It was and she'll be here but one of her science geeks had some kind of an accident in the lab so she had to go see what the damage was." She had them reworking the calculations to make some adjustment to the new cloaking device they were going to be installing on Defiant. She thought she'd found a way to engage the device and weapons at the same time. That meant they'd only lose the use of the transporter when they were cloaked. Tucker was ecstatic that he wasn't going to lose power across the whole ship like he had on Enterprise. But having weapons would be an advantage the new tactical officer wouldn't turn down if they solved the problem of where to divert the extra power from.

"What do you know about Tovosh?" He was a Vulcan and he headed up security for the Resistance was all Tucker knew of him.

"He trained me. I trust him with my life, but then I'm not stupid enough to get involved in anything that might be considered questionable where the Vulcans are concerned so don't ask me to guarantee his actions where you're concerned. If I had to give odds I'd say he's on our side but there's always that outside chance his loyalty is to his own government." The Rigelian always hedged his bets, unless he was 100% sure of something.

"Thanks for the honesty but that doesn't make it any easier to decide whether or not to trust him. T'Pol checked and he still has property and family on Vulcan but he hasn't been there in well over two decades." No record of a mate on Xindus or Vulcan but according to T'Pol it was possible they may have been separated all these years. Although they would have had to have been some contact every seven years, but being in charge of security definitely had advantages when one needed to keep things private.

"Let's hear what he has to say. Ask him directly what his motives are and where he stands on this whole Vulcan assassin squad's question." The Rigelian needed to know that himself. It would make a difference in how he did his job if he couldn't depend on the Resistance leadership to help keep his crewmembers safe.

"And exactly how would we know if he's lying? I realize most of the Vulcans we know are somewhat less inhibited about emoting but the strict ones I've met since we got out here are more like statues when it comes to giving anything they might be thinking away."

"I trained with him and your...what exactly is T'Pol to you?" Mickey had heard the rumors but did not like depending on them as to what was really going on.

"She's my mate. And I know she's a Vulcan to, so she might be able to see something we might miss but then again she might not." He saw Mickey's look of strangely mused surprise at his use of mate.

"Mates for Vulcans means lifelong, no messing around, you're no longer available."

"That's right. Any problem with that?" Tucker was beginning to see that this was the reaction they were going to get from everyone.

"Nope. I may not have known exactly what's going on but I assumed the Vulcans were objecting to one of their own messing around with a human, the species that has enslaved them. But it goes way beyond that doesn't it. They want you two to disappear so the whole mating with a non-Vulcan thing just goes away." It didn't matter as far his duty to protect them but it did help to know why they were being targeted by supposed allies. Now he knew more precisely what he needed to look for and some questions he needed answers to when investigating the Vulcan's aboard Defiant. And now he knew he had to expand his investigation to the fleet sooner than planned. His openly stating he was mated to a Vulcan alleviated any lingering doubts the security chief had about Tucker's loyalties.

"They can want it but that doesn't mean it's ever going to happen. I guess I'm lucky I'm more valuable to the Resistance and the rest of the species out here than I am to the Vulcans. And if they want me to stay alive to help win this fight against the Empire that means they keep T'Pol alive and well too. Because if anything happens to her..." He didn't finish his statement but he didn't need to.

Mickey got the point but all of this was something he never expected. That they were a couple--yes. That they were sharing quarters--yes. But that a Human and Vulcan had mated, which her culture saw as a permanent relationship--never. Vulcans did not mate outside of their own species. He'd never known a Vulcan to have a casual relationship before this but from what Tucker just told him he still hadn't. "Did you know what you were getting into before you got involved?"

Purposely misunderstanding his question Tucker answered, "What that her people would object so much they'd want us dead? Not really but it wouldn't have mattered. Bedsides I can hardly complain when the Empire has a price on our heads too. Although I doubt it's for the same reason, the results are the same. The target on our backs just got a little bigger but at least we're free to make our own choices." If he was going to die it might as well be for something he truly believed in.

"If that's what we're up against then I amend what I said about Tovosh. His loyalty will not be to his own people in this. He quotes that 'Surak' all the time and he once told me according to his beliefs we couldn't win against the Empire if we couldn't get past our own prejudices and preconceptions. He insisted we must look at individuals not their species or our biases. If we hadn't been doing that the Resistance would have become another version of the Empire and we would have failed long ago."

"I still can't just trust him with Lizzie's life." He and T'Pol would have to work at discovering whom they could trust but they'd both already decided Mickey was an ally.

"Commanders'." T'Pol nodded to them as she entered and greeted them.

"Did you solve the problem in the lab?" Her thoughts were racing by to fast for Tucker to discern anything beyond worry.

"No. It will require a more detailed analysis than I was able to complete in such a short time but there was no harm done as I have backups of all the data in our quarters."

"What happened?" Tucker could feel such discontent in her mind and body at not knowing who or what had happened.

"Someone introduced a virus into the system in the science lab which altered much of the data in the test files we were analyzing."

"Someone on Defiant or someone from outside?" One more item on his plate summed up what the security officer heard.

"Undetermined." T'Pol needed to discuss what happened with Tucker so they could determine exactly what data had been tampered with. "My presence was required here so I had to postpone any inquiries into the matter."

"So not only do we have to figure out which of the Vulcans we can trust now we have a saboteur on the ship. We'll need to inform Vorack before we do anything else." Tucker took a deep breath. Was their life ever going to stop being one complication on top of several layers of other complications? It was becoming more and more doubtful.

"No we won't. When he appointed us as Fleet Commanders, he also gave us a certain amount of autonomy to do our jobs without having to report to him every five minutes. We can act but must inform him within 24 hours of any operations that affect the security or operation of the fleet." T'Pol handed Tucker a padd with the orders written out that pertained to their new duties.

"Please tell me you don't expect me to read all of this?" He scanned down the pages of military rules and regs, which had to be the most dry, boring reading he knew of and unless he read the material over several times he rarely remembered enough details to make it worth his time.

"We will discuss it later." Which meant T'Pol would break it down into what he called a 'cheat sheet' of words or short phrases that held the essentials of what he needed to know.

Tucker silently thanked her then turned his attention to the viewscreen that now held the image of the Resistances' head of security. "I'm told you both hold the rank of Fleet Commanders and I see you are now a full Commander, Mikakalas. Congratulations."

"Didn't know Vulcans acknowledged such things." Tucker immediately challenged the Vulcan, taking Mickey's advice because he was fed up with repeated conversations with those in security that were assigned to find his sister.

"We do not but as I deal with many species that find such things important I have learned to adjust my interactions to acknowledge such accomplishments." Tovosh wasn't angry or defensive; in fact, he was impressed that the human seemed ready to come at him directly.

"Did you have anything to do with whatever happened to my sister Lizzie?" He was on a roll so continued to push and find out what he could about where this Vulcan stood.

"Indirectly I may have because I did not act quickly enough on the reports I received on her recent activities. She was making very public and indiscreet inquiries into some very private Vulcan matters. Unfortunately, agents for the factions of the Vulcan Council that have been pursuing you and Commander T'Pol became aware of her and have removed her from Xindus."

"I'll kill the bastards. Do you know where they've taken her?" Tucker stood glaring intently at the screen.

"I believe they have her at one of what they believe to be secret locations on Vulcan."

"What Vulcan matters was she seeking information about?" T'Pol wasn't sure but there were only a few matters that would draw the attention of both the Vulcan Council and the Resistance leaders.

"Commander Mikakalas you are dismissed." Tovosh nodded to the Rigelian.

"Yes, sir. Comm me when you're finished. We have some things we need to go over." Mickey turned and left the Commanders alone.

"The reports I have been given say she overheard a private conversation between her brother and the Vulcan he 'foolishly claims to be his mate'. You were unaware that she was nearby and things were discussed that concerned her because she feared the Vulcan was 'using her brother' and had 'tricked him with some kind of Vulcan bond and barriers and something called a meld so he would stay with her'." Tovosh read her words off the reports on his desk.

Tucker dropped his head into his hands. "No please tell me this isn't happening. She was so upset and she blamed T'Pol for us being here but we didn't know she heard anything like that." Tucker couldn't believe the whole Lizzie problem had just gone from bad to so far off the scale he didn't know how they would ever recover. Then the thought of what the Vulcans might do hit him midbrain. "What will they do to her? They won't kill her, will they?"

Tovosh considered his answer for a moment. "Commander Tucker my understanding is that you are Commander T'Pol's chosen mate. I assume this to be true because the discussion your sister overheard would have only taken place between Vulcan mates."

"Yes." Tucker and T'Pol both began replaying the only conversation he could be referring to. If it had to do with mates, and bonds, and melds to remove barriers and T'Pol forming a connection with him to deal with his anger ...his sister must have been hiding nearby and listening to them. She was so quiet and innocent acting waiting outside his quarters to say goodbye. If he hadn't been so caught up in trying to keep the peace then her behavior followed by that anxious exit would have alerted him that something was wrong. She must have been in a hurry to start on her quest to find out more about Vulcans.

"Has Commander T'Pol made you aware of the information she recently acquired regarding the practices of the Vulcan Council when certain of our citizens return to Vulcan?"

Neither of them were surprised that he had knowledge of her inquiries. "Yes." The fear he already felt doubled as it shot through Tucker. This was not only his fear but T'Pol's. Who else had been alerted to her inquiry?

"I can see by the look on your faces that I no longer need to answer your question."

"No they wouldn't." Guilt combined with the fear now. Not only had he ruined Lizzie's life by having her dragged away from Earth now her life was at risk because he hadn't been careful when talking to T'Pol.

"It will most likely be selective but yes they will remove the memories. These factions of the Council have become fanatical about protecting Vulcan culture from any outside influence and any movement away from their interpretation of Surak's teachings. I'm sure you understand why those so irrationally motivated would view a human mating with a Vulcan as unacceptable."

Contaminating the gene pool was only part of it. They feared if one human knew of their capabilities then others would soon know. And Lizzie running around asking questions about private Vulcan matters did nothing to encourage the Vulcans to trust him to keep quiet. "So it's not the entire Council that's responsible for this?"

"No, but this is unimportant because until we have your sister under our protection you will be unable to petition the full Council to intervene." Vulcans were known to be reluctant to extinguish the life force of any sentient being but those who held the human woman would kill her to keep their activities quiet.

"So you're asking me to sit tight and just trust you to find my sister and get her back safely? I don't think I can do that anymore." Tucker closed his eyes, counted his breaths to ten, and still couldn't relax. He had such a tight hold on the edge of the console T'Pol feared if he pulled upwards, he would rip the whole unit free of the bulkhead.

The Vulcan watched the human using Vulcan breathing techniques and also saw that he was not succeeding in calming his emotional state. "You can trust me or not that is up to you but you have no choice about allowing us to find her."

Tucker's eyes opened. "What you found gives us something to go on so I'll take a leave from the Resistance and find her myself."

"I am Vulcan and you should understand very well how seriously we Vulcans take our...obligations to family." Tovosh knew he understood perfectly what he meant.

His reading of Vulcan history, culture, and his bond with T'Pol gave him an understanding of how Vulcans regarded family. "Yeah I do, but she's my family, not yours. And I'm the one who wasn't being careful and we let her overhear things we shouldn't have been discussing where anyone could overhear in the first place. I'm going to ask the captain to let us go look for her." Besides, they hadn't actually located her, they only thought they had.

"You must honor your commitment and remain there." The Vulcan leader understood that the future of the Resistance depended on what took place in the next several weeks. Tucker and T'Pol had to remain on Defiant for there to be any chance of changing the course of this war.

"My first commitment is to my family. I have to find Lizzie and make sure she's safe." Tucker barked back at him.

"You would not be successful. And you both have made an oath to your crew and the Resistance." During his debriefing, the human had admitted to giving an empty oath to the empire but had assured the Vulcan that in the future his word would be good. "You also know that a human on Vulcan would be very noticeable and you do not wish to make it any easier for those on the Council who wish to kill you to accomplish this, do you?"

"Of course not. There are ways to alter my appearance and if T'Pol's with me she can help me blend in better." T'Pol would be with him of this he had no doubt but he could feel her reluctance that his plan would work.

"If it were my sister, in these circumstances, I would find it equally difficult to know in whom I could place my trust. My being Vulcan and you being without blood relatives to count on makes this harder for you to endure. I only wish to alleviate your concerns where possible." Serving on a starship light-years away from any hopes of aiding his sister could not be easy duty and the Vulcan understood his instinct to protect his sister. As the leader in charge of security for the Resistance, Tovosh had to find a way to keep Tucker focused.

"So how do we get past all our issues? How do I learn to trust you?" It was difficult communicating through subspace about such a personal thing to someone he barely knew while trying to find some thread of hope to latch onto that would make it possible to trust this Vulcan.

"Etek dungi-ketilau ni'var, Komihn et Vuhlkansu, t'zaled fupa s' kahr'y'tan. (According to the Way of Vulcan, you and I will join as two diverse beings, Human and Vulcan, united in a blood oath of loyalty to one another.) The Vulcan waited.

Tucker knew exactly what he said. Every word translated from T'Pol as he said it. "Why would you offer to do that?"

"You do not understand..." Tovosh started to explain further, but was interrupted by T'Pol. "It is not something he is offering, it is done. The words he spoke make it so."

Tucker stood transfixed for a moment trying to understand what just happened. The translation in his head said Tovosh had just pledged his loyalty to him.

"This means..." T'Pol continued.

"I know what it means, I'm human not stupid. What the hell is it with you Vulcans and making life altering choices for me?" His anger flared hotly until he sensed T'Pol's reaction. Immediately he silently tried to apologize to T'Pol. His words had come out in a shout and without thought and he didn't want her to think that's what he still thought about her or their bond.

The elder Vulcan watched the silent conversation for several seconds allowing for the possibility that T'Pol could calm her mate. "That was not my intention. It is logical to give you what I would require to allow another to fulfill my duty to my family."

"So what, now we're family?" His agitation still running high.

"In affect yes, but you are under no obligation to me. It is I who must honor my oath of loyalty to you." Vulcans were taught to honor obligations and duty but it was forced on Humans. It was hard to be honorable when one's life depended on one's actions.

Tovosh spoke again. "I'dungi tu sahrafel?" (Now will you trust me?)

If it was the other way around and he spoke those words to the Vulcan, he knew exactly what it would have meant. He didn't have the luxury of time to understand the Vulcan mind when it came to matters of duty, honor, and loyalty. Shaking his head in disbelief, but looking directly into the Vulcan's eyes, he knew what he must do. Without analyzing he blocked the bond, shut T'Pol and her logic and reason out, reached inside, and went with what he felt in the deepest part of himself. "Yes, I will trust you."

"I give you my word that I will act in your place to protect your sister." The Vulcan saw his confusion. "Your bondmate can explain."

"She doesn't need to. . .I understand." He had only ever made two true oaths in his life. One was to his new crew and the other was his bond to T'Pol. This new oath was between the two of them. He had to hand it to the Vulcans for taking the ritual and ceremony out of what made human males called 'blood brothers'; accomplishing the same end without the blood. Accepting this oath meant trusting that Lizzie was now as important to Tovosh as she was to Tucker. "Your words said we were united in this oath to one another and I choose to stand by that. I'm just not sure why you would do this for someone you barely know."

Tovosh remained unemotional and responded with a logical explanation for his actions. "You are needed there to secure a future for us all and it is my people who have done this. This is the only honorable way I see to find a solution to our dilemma."

Seeing the truth in his words lifted the load somewhat until a thought occurred to Tucker. "Find her and when you do you might want to skip over telling her anything about oaths or loyalty or any of that. She hates Vulcans right now and I can't see her hearing any more news of me being more connected to Vulcans as being a good thing unless they take those memories too." As he continued to contemplate Lizzie's reaction and possible loss of memories he could hear T'Pol telling him to stop worrying about what he had no proof of having happened yet. There would be plenty of time for that once Lizzie was located.

"I will do nothing to antagonize her further. I must go and move the search along. Teams will be dispatched to locate her and then she will be relocated to a private location of which no one is aware. Once she is found, I will be leaving for a time to visit my properties on Vulcan and I will see to her well-being. She will be kept there until the danger has been neutralized. When there is news, I will contact you. In the meantime, you are to concentrate on your duties and on finding any traitors amongst our fleet. I am sending someone to assist you. Once Master Rastek explains his function and abilities you will know how best to utilize him."

This whole situation with the Vulcans was making things difficult for Tovosh on many fronts. He never acted on impulse as he had today and he never let his emotions interfere with his decisions but in this case he kept putting himself in Tucker's place and all that he'd learned of this human he had given his blood oath to said it was the right thing to do. Not only would this new relationship ease some of Tucker's tension it would give Tovosh the standing and justification he needed to continue his search for Lizzie Tucker. Many Vulcans would not understand his giving of his oath to the human but they would honor it. Later that would give him some leverage with the Vulcan Council, in regards to Tucker and T'Pol.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

**Correcting Anomalies That May Have Caused Optic Nerve Hypoplasia (RU)**

**Thereby Increasing Visual Acuity and Visual Fields**

**(Part 1 of 2)**

"What's wrong Malcolm?" He looked like he'd lost his only friend.

"Hoshi has decided that since I met her parents she should meet mine. When I refused, she threatened to contact them on her own. I haven't contacted them since we first came on board." He'd sent a letter informing them of his commission and then counted on the rest of the family to keep them up on news of what he was up to. Not that they had ever taken an interest in anything beyond his career plans and even that ended when he left rejected the Reed family's traditional Navy career and joined Starfleet. Hoshi had finally told him that she had talked to them before trying to find out what his favorite food was as ordered by Captain Archer. He tried using that experience with them to make her see that a visit with them was not going to be what she expected.

"Didn't you say you weren't avoiding them in that letter you dictated?" He saw the questioning look on Malcolm's face. "You remember. We were stranded in the Shuttlepod, I was a little cranky from a lack of sleep, and you were writing half the population on Earth and I had to threaten you so you'd shut up. Ring a bell?" That was one of those adventures the engineer would never forget. He'd started off wanting to kill the tactical officer, and might have tried if it hadn't meant he'd be stranded alone or that said officer would most likely have won a fight, but after they were rescued he found they had developed the beginnings of one of the best friendships in his life.

How could Trip ever think he'd forgotten anything about that mission? It was then that Malcolm Reed discovered that he counted the southerner as a friend and that all the effort he'd put into understanding the man had been well worth it. "You were right you really are cranky when you don't sleep. And I'm not avoiding them but we're just not close. My parents think I betrayed the family when I left the Royal Navy and went to the Academy. They'll never accept why I couldn't do as they wanted and they'll never forgive me. I offered to contact them from the ship but there's no way I'm going to go on holiday with them, not even for Hoshi. I offered to take her anywhere else she wants to go but she's set on going to Malaysia." He wasn't avoiding them; the way he looked at it he was simply not subjecting himself or Hoshi to another round of pointless arguments and lectures. Meeting Hoshi and knowing she was important to Malcolm wouldn't be a good thing for his Mum and Dad. It would be seen as one more disappointment for them that he hadn't married a nice British girl from the right family and would serve as further proof that he was rejecting his upbringing and all that the Reeds stood for. It always worked best if he kept informed about them from other family members and had his family inform his parents when things in his life were fait accompli.

Trip held up his hands. "I understand. I know she can be stubborn but have you tried reminding her of what a disaster it was when T'Les tracked down my Mom and Dad?" Trip had been trying not to think about that whole fiasco but he now reflected on how similar his and Malcolm's circumstances with family were and hoped that his situation never got so bad that he was forced to avoid his parents all together.

"No, but I will. I'm glad she doesn't know what you're doing now or I'd never be able to put her off this." Having been sworn to secrecy Malcolm had not told Hoshi and now he was glad that he hadn't because she would use Trip's attempts to put things right with his family as a way to cajole Malcolm into attempting the same thing.

"Yeah, but my situation is totally different. John and I get along fine; it's my parents that created the problem there. And I may end up never seeing my parents again but I'm hoping things haven't become so strained that we can't find some way to at least keep in touch. Besides T'Pol wants to have the opportunity to spend time with just the four of us. Maybe get to know them a little better." He'd arranged for his parents to come to San Francisco for two days. That was enough time to see if they'd read and considered what he'd written to them.

"Try telling Hoshi that. Anyway that's not why you asked me to have lunch with you is it?" Malcolm stabbed at the food on his plate.

"No. but it is about family. I think I know where John is and I wanted you to tell me if I'm right. I'm not going to go see him I just want to know. He's at my grandparents' place in North Carolina isn't he?"

Malcolm nodded his head. "He's living in their cabin. He told me to confirm it if you asked. So how'd you know?"

"John told me. He said 'until we meet again, brother' in Cherokee at the end of that recording." It wasn't a slip he'd wanted Trip to figure it out. A smile graced his face knowing he was right and somehow he felt lighter than he had when he sat down.

"He sent the recording a couple of days after I sent him that package from you. Whatever you said to him must have made an impression."

"Thanks for your help Mal. I can try talking to Hoshi for you." Trip had sent John a message but most of what was in that package was the duplicate recordings of the letters he'd sent to his parents.

"Thanks but we both know when she gets her mind set on something there's no changing it, so I'm going to let her go to Malaysia alone and I'll get a room in San Francisco and wait for her to get back." Malcolm was just as stubborn as Hoshi and one thing he'd learned was to just let her do what it was she thought she needed to do because it seemed to be important to her. Although he wasn't sure why.

* * *

Trip laughed as T'Pol tickled him. "I thought you said we had to get moving. What time is it?"

"We have time. Captain Tergus has instructions to notify you when the shuttle is 20 minutes away." She pushed him towards the bed.

He fell backwards then rolled over onto her once she settled next to him. "So we have time."

"At least 20 minutes." She teased.

"I think I can work with that. All those nights we got pulled out of bed during an attack should come in handy." Trip laughed thinking of all the nights the crew had get presentable on the run before showing up at their duty stations.

"I suggest you stop talking if you wish this time to be as productive as we both want it to be." T'Pol grabbed a hold of both sides of his face and pulled his lips to hers. It was the most effective way to shut him up.

"Who knew you were so advanced with time management skills."

"Shhh. If you continue to talk we will not managed to find time for the necessary relaxation techniques." Trip had been tense all morning in anticipation of his parents visit and T'Pol wanted to alleviate as much of his stress as she could before they arrived.

"I love this hands on approach much better than meditation." He squeaked out as her fingers on one hand went to work on the sensitive spot below and to the right of his navel and the other hand worked at locating much more sensual points .

* * *

Trip heard his communicator beeping. T'Pol rejoined him just as he informed the Vulcan Captain they'd meet them outside.

"Are you ready for this?" The shuttle landed in front of the bungalows. Soval had arranged for them to come to the Vulcan compound. Starfleet had objected to the officers staying there again but the Ambassador pointed out that they were supposed to be working together and placing restrictions on their officer's interactions with allies was only serving to keep them from forming the understanding necessary for them to become true allies. That and Trip pointing out that Starfleet insisted that regardless of their arrangement aboard ship, as an unmarried couple the Commanders would be assigned separate quarters, won over several of the Admirals. Neither Trip nor T'Pol would accept that or the risk of being hounded by the press in a motel again and Trip could not bring himself to go to Mississippi, to what his parents now considered their home, so had no problem asking the Vulcans for their assistance again.

The couple walked slowly down the ramp from the Vulcan shuttle. Trip insisted the Vulcans bring them here and not Starfleet. If this was ever going to work out his parents were going to have to at the very least accept Vulcans, if they couldn't get past their irrational fear and distrust of all aliens.

"Mom, Dad how was the flight here?" Trip asked tentatively.

Charles Tucker looked back over his shoulder at the Vulcan who had been at their service since leaving Mississippi. "They've treated us well and made sure we had whatever we asked for."

Trip raised his hand to form the ta'al to the Vulcan captain. "Thank you for your service Captain Tergus. Live, long, and prosper."

"You are most welcome Commander Tucker, Commander T'Pol. Peace and long life. If you require our service further, while you're here, inform the Ambassador or contact me directly." The captain handed Trip a comm device.

Trip noticed that the Vulcans he had been dealing with were much more relaxed around him and seemed to be going out of their way to incorporate human gestures and sentiments in their interactions with him. "I will. Thanks again."

Another Vulcan exited the shuttle and placed the couple's bags at the front door of the bungalow. "If there is nothing else you require." He addressed Trip's parents.

"No thank you, we're fine." Mrs. Tucker replied.

As the shuttle took off, "You're awfully friendly with them," Rachel Tucker told her son.

"And what should I be? I've worked with Vulcans since I left Earth and we're finally forming some kind of understanding between our species and T'Pol is Vulcan so what should I do be rude to them?"

"Of course not we raised you better than that but there's a difference between being sociably polite and really accepting of them." The agitation in her voice left no doubt that she still harbored distrust and maybe even contempt for Vulcans.

"They'd know if I was just pretending and there's no reason not to accept them. They are our allies and our friends." He needed to pull back he knew it but found it difficult to do.

"Your friends don't you mean. From what we've heard there's still a large segment of Starfleet that has a problem with the Vulcans. How can you trust an ally that would abandon you like they did when the Xindi attacked Earth?" Charles Tucker looked agitated.

"There are some in Starfleet who resent them but that's because they don't understand why they refused to go into the expanse with us. They'd sent two ships in and both crews were destroyed, driven mad, by a substance that almost every ship used to protect itself." Trip remembered Archer's words to him just a few days ago. "And there are some Vulcans who aren't exactly thrilled with humans but my only concern is with the Humans and Vulcans who are trying to build a strong alliance that will help protect us all in the future." The rest would come around and if they didn't then Trip had decided he didn't have time to waste on them.

"So you're willing to abandon your fellow humans in favor of Vulcans."

"I have no time for those humans that have abandoned everything we've been fighting for since the Xindi attacked. And those who abandoned me because I chose to follow my heart and be with this woman." He eyes fell on T'Pol who had thus far remained quiet.

She reached out and took his hand and attempted to diffuse any chances of an argument ensuing. "Mr. and Mrs. Tucker perhaps you would like to go inside and freshen up."

Trip took her cue and headed inside with her and one of the bags. His father reached for the other one_. "Thanks. I really need to work on not arguing with them. It's pointless. I thought I had let all that go but obviously it's still there. Keep reminding me I'm doing this for Lizzie." _The intensity was less this time around but the emotions were still there. Having believed they were dealt with he'd abandoned the exercises he and Phlox had devised to aid him in venting them in small increments.

"_If you are not doing this for you then there is little chance of success. This might be one of those times you need to suppress your emotions."_

"_Wow, you're making progress if you're encouraging me to suppress my emotions." _Trip shot her a small smile showing his appreciation at her having confidence in him.

"_You have shown me that you are capable of utilizing the techniques without causing damage to yourself and that you will ask for my assistance if you need it."_

"_Can you help me out until I can get some time alone?"_ He'd need to meditate in his star field to begin the venting process once again.

"_How much do you wish to suppress?"_

"_I'll bury every negative emotion I have towards them if that's what it's going to take to make peace."_ He could bury them in the short term with T'Pol's help.

"_If that is what you wish it is what we will do but perhaps it would be beneficial to allow expression of some of these emotions to your parents."_ T'Pol could feel his determination and knew this would require hours of time meditating together after his parents left to undo what they were about to do and for Trip to manage these emotions privately and internally so he wouldn't inflict them on his parents or her.

"_You're right but I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and ruin everything."_ Trip could sense the understanding from T'Pol that he couldn't bury this again.

"_I will stay close by."_ T'Pol began absorbing some of his excess emotions and tamping down on others to aid his ability to keep his emotions under his control.

"Have you heard from John?" Charles Tucker wanted to know.

Test number 1 Trip thought. "Yes." He hadn't decided until that moment what he would say when the inevitable question was asked. Saying 'no' would mean lying and that would be difficult but he was already going down that road with them by omitting details and facts of his and T'Pol's life and relationship. The path he chose meant letting them know he had contact with his brother but had given his word to keep his whereabouts a secret.

"Where is he? Is he alright?" Both his parents were looking at him with expectant eyes.

"He's doing okay. Still a little raw over what happened to Lizzie and later, but he's trying to deal with it." He kept his answer truthful but short so he didn't risk letting his emotions carry him away.

"Where is he Trip? We're his parents we have a right to know." Charles Tucker was so good at playing Trip's emotions.

"Sorry, but I promised all I'd tell you was that he's alive and well. I'm still waiting for him to tell me where he is and unless he tells me it's okay to tell you you're just going to have to wait until he's ready to fill you in himself." He may be suppressing his emotions but his stubborn streak was alive and well. He could have avoided their disappointment by letting them think he didn't know where John was but as much as he was willing to bury some of his own issues with them they needed to understand that there were consequences for their actions. He still didn't know exactly what had taken place when John left but it had wounded John deeply and had caused his withdrawal from Trip also.

"And what if he's never ready?" The elder Tucker asked.

"Then you'll just have to depend on me to let you know he's okay. I haven't seen him. He sent me a recorded message, but I'm hopeful that he'll agree to see me soon." Trip saw this as incentive to let go of their disapproval in his choices. That or lose touch with both of their sons. Why did this have to be so hard? They'd been here less than an hour and already he needed a break. "Why don't you and Mom get settled in? We can have lunch at our bungalow or if you prefer we can go to the Consulate." Almost as an afterthought he added, "Or we can try to find a private place in San Francisco." He hoped they'd chose the Consulate so he could invite Soval to join them, counting on the rules of southern etiquette to keep his parents in check with a guest present. It would also serve to introduce the elder Tuckers to Vulcan culture. Something they were going to have to accept if they wished to have a relationship with their son and his mate. San Francisco would be tough with them having to avoid drawing any attention to themselves. But he was confident it could be done if they went in casual clothes and only visited the locations Malcolm had suggested. Reed had offered to come along if they ventured into the city as he was stuck in a hotel room by himself while he awaited Hoshi's return from visiting his parents. The bungalow was Trip's least favorite choice as it meant no distractions or escape if things got too tense.

"Do they have meals for humans here?"

"Of course they do. They don't serve meat but they have food you can eat. It's actually more healthy eating here because they don't cook using all the fat and sugar we humans do." Trip had requested several dishes be available while his parents were here.

"We could always go to Starfleet and eat in the cafeteria there if you prefer." T'Pol offered as an alternative.

"That's true I didn't think about that." He'd been avoiding Starfleet since his meeting with Admiral Gardner. All had gone well but many of their superiors were still wary of the mates staying at the Vulcan compound and had made their objections known.

"Why aren't you staying at the Academy?" Trip's mother wanted to know.

"Because we didn't want to be forced to go back to separate quarters." The defiance in his voice said it all.

"Don't they have rules on that ship of yours? I'd think Starfleet would have plenty to say about unmarried officers sharing quarters." Charles Tucker was surprised.

"The Captain has final say aboard the ship and Starfleet did try to separate us or reassign us but circumstances prevented them from following through." Not seeing any advantage to telling them that Starfleet needed their expertise and that the Vulcans interceded on their behalf, he let it go.

"We saw the news reports about Terra Prime and all the pictures and rumors about the two of you." Both of his parents had thought the controversy would come between their son and the Vulcan but instead it appeared to have brought them closer together.

T'Pol felt Trip inwardly cringe at the mention of Terra Prime. The rawness felt fresh every time they thought about what Paxton had been trying to do so T'Pol avoided any mention of the embryos. "Starfleet accepts the need for our peoples to remain allies if we are to protect this quadrant from future threats and have reassessed their position on several issues pertaining to inter-species relationships. They understand the necessity of allowing for the differing customs of other cultures and our decision to remain together and therefore chose to allow us to serve together. With us in space it is believed that the furor will eventually extinguish itself." T'Pol chose her words carefully. She felt Trip's amusement at how diplomatically she had referred to their bond without actually telling the elder Tuckers anything. They both waited for the inevitable question.

"Then you plan to marry?"

Leaving out that it was only a formality at this point and the date was dependent on her Pon Farr their son vaguely answered. "According to Vulcan traditions we will have a ceremony at some point. We can make arrangements for you and Becky to attend once we know when."

Charles Tucker didn't know what that meant. "Are you going to have a wedding on Earth?"

"We'll be married by a Vulcan priest at a Vulcan monastery in front of friends and family so I can't see why we'd need to have a separate ceremony here. Like I said you're welcome to attend. The Vulcans have shuttles returning home on a regular basis so will gladly arrange transportation for you." Their best guess on the timing was a little over a year away using the age at which both T'Pol's in the other universes had gone through their own Pon Farr as a guide. They hadn't made any inquiries into the repercussions as far as their commissions with Starfleet were concerned once they married but were hopeful that having successfully managed a committed relationship while serving as senior officers on Enterprise, for years before they married, would give them some leverage.

Trip could see that his father was upset and impatient to be alone with his wife.

"Let's go freshen up for lunch, Rachel." Charles moved off toward the bedroom.

* * *

"Trip you may have upset your parents announcing our marriage plans that way. It was a natural assumption on their part that our wedding would take place on Earth."

"Why would that be a natural assumption when the bride is Vulcan? The bride's family takes care of all the arrangements here on Earth so it shouldn't have surprised them."

"I was unaware of your customs. But you are trying to repair your relationship not widen the gap between you. Perhaps it would have been better to be more considerate of their feelings."

"They aren't my customs. And I must have been handling them worse than I thought if you're telling me to consider feelings. And I know I should ease up. I want to be civil and try to mend fences but another part of me is so tired of this. I just want them to treat me like an adult and respect my choices even if they can't agree with them." Trip always thought it was his father that was hard and unforgiving but now he saw that his mother was just as bad. "I get more respect from your mother than I do from my own."

"My mother is Vulcan and was raised to believe that once children take a mate they are no longer answerable to their parents. Their only responsibility then is to their mate and their own children." This new status with her own mother had made it possible for them to become closer.

"That's how it's supposed to work with Human parents too but parents from the south don't always see it that way." He'd always heard once a parent always a parent but believed parents were supposed to relinquish control and push their children out of the nest, once they reached adulthood, to take on the world on their own.

"In your parents eyes you are not married; therefore; they still see you as their child. Their responsibility." Having lost their youngest child may have made them fearful of losing another out in space. They reminded her of her own mother and she knew that what they needed to understand was they were risking losing two of their remaining children if they couldn't learn to let go.

"Great, I'm a 37 year old child who will remain a child until we're married. And they won't accept a marriage without a wedding and I can't even try to convince them we're as good as married because I can't tell them about the bond, so what do I do?" This was definitely one of those parenting don'ts he'd file away for when he and T'Pol had kids.

"We explain that we are together, mates, which means we are in a committed relationship, and to us marriage is just a legality. You trusted John with the news of what our mating truly means but you do not trust your parents?"

"I want to trust them but I won't risk them overreacting and doing something stupid. I'm just not prepared to go through anything like what happened before." He watched as his mate changed into street clothes. Her hair had grown long enough to cover her ears but he constantly pushed it behind them and contemplated doing that now when he saw T'Pol purposely pull it forward. He moved up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "And I may suppress some of what I feel about my parents for the sake of having some kind of connection to them but I won't do anything that could hurt you. . .us." They'd survived Paxton's campaign to use them as a lightening rod for his own purposes but Trip could not, would not let anything like that happen again.

"You know my mother has not always been supportive of my choices...and her disapproval came between us for several years. I will support whatever decision you make. I only ask that you make decisions that are in your own best interest and will not cause you any further suffering."

"I promise." He muttered as he kissed her. "I just want there to be a day when they don't make me feel. . ." What? Like a ten year old, inadequate, like a disappointment? He didn't feel that way about himself and he knew T'Pol and his friends didn't see him that way. Phlox had been right. The goal here had to be taking back whatever power he had given them over him. He'd begun the process with the letters now he had to silence that inner voice. Their voice in his head. Or there would never be a chance for a healthier relationship with them.

* * *

Lunch. His first thought had been how tedious it was going to be. The Tuckers had chosen to go outside the Consulate, which hadn't surprised him. Having been sure they would choose the city or Starfleet. They'd gone through the midday buffet with Trip describing the choices to his mate. He tried to give her some idea of the taste and texture of each dish by comparing it to the Vulcan foods he knew were close enough to give her some idea of what it might taste like. And he provided warnings on which dishes to avoid, like all the soups and broths. Vulcan broths all had intense but odd flavors. They found human soups to be too creamy and thick. His parents frowned as they watched their son become so engrossed in the Vulcan's choice of meal that he almost forgot they were present.

Things were going smoothly. That should have set off all kinds of alarms in his head but he relaxed his guard somewhat and began to feel as if this just might work out.

"Commander Tucker, you are a hard man to find." Shran spoke with his usual enthusiasm.

"Commander Shran, I'd like to introduce you to my parents. Charles and Rachel Tucker." Trip cringed inside. Test number 2. Aliens.

"Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Tucker. You should be very proud of your son. He's turning out to be one of the finest officers I know in Starfleet. And he's not a bad engineer either."

Trip was a little wary of the praise. "Thanks Shran. How did you find us?"

"My ship is orbiting Earth ensuring my crew's safety and knowing you were guests of the Vulcan's it was just a matter of adding scans to track all the shuttles until we found your biosigns."

"Well, I wouldn't go broadcasting that. I'm sure Ambassador Soval would be less than understanding if he were to learn the Andorians are tracking their activities."

"We were not tracking the Vulcans we were searching for you."

"Okay, you found me so what was so important that it couldn't wait until I return to duty?"

"We are leaving orbit soon. Heading for a conference with the Coridans new government to try and work out the last of our hostilities."

Their last encounter with the Coridans had been when Shran and his operatives helped spring Captain Archer and T'Pol from captivity on Coridan. "Well since it was on our behalf that you were compromised if we can be of any assistance let us know."

"My services were in repayment of a debt but your offer is appreciated. I came to thank you for what you did for my crewmen. Although I guess officially they aren't mine anymore. At least for the next two years."

"I thought you might be upset that they chose to remain with Starfleet."

"No and if I was there is no reason to hold you responsible for their decision. You did exactly what I asked of you and trained them to be the best engineers and officers they can be. You taught them to think through their choices and I find that I support their rationale. Coming to know humans and understand each other will only ensure we build a stronger Coalition."

"Trip is he saying you trained Andorians?" The look on Charles Tucker's face said it all.

"Yes. We came across these two brilliant but very young, undisciplined Andorians and the Commander here asked me to take them under my wing for a while. Turned out to be one the best decisions I ever made. Starfleet has two talented engineers helping them get their next starship space worthy and I have three very good Andorian friends." Trip offered his hand to Shran.

Sensing the tension, around the table, the Andorian decided it best to take his leave. "That you do Commander Tucker. My preference would have been for Fric and Frac to become part of my crew but with things going the way they are with the Romulans this may be advantageous to us all. If there's anything you or Commander T'Pol ever need just let me know."

"Same here."

"Captain Archer seems to be Earth's designated representative for Starfleet and the Coalition so we'll be seeing much more of each other over the next several months."

"Maybe there's a chance we'll meet up and not require your tactical assistance. Maybe have a drink or dinner without worrying about someone firing weapons at us."

"I doubt that will happen often. Your Captain mentioned something about 'curiosity killing the cat' and humans need to explore. I'm not sure what a cat is but they must have an endless supply of luck because your crew should never have survived the first year in space much less the year you spent chasing the Xindi around in the expanse."

"Cats are animals that are said to have nine lives. And you're right we've used up our fair share of them but I like to think it's a little bit of luck and a whole lot of skill that has kept us alive out there. We do learn from our mistakes and we adapt very quickly when we have to."

Shran again sensed the uneasiness coming from the elder Tuckers. "This is a discussion for another time. Sorry for the interruption. Enjoy your time with your family." He hurriedly left.

Trip saw their discomfort and wanted to avoid any disagreement about his involvement with aliens so changed the subject, asking about their new home and living in Mississippi. Gratefully he accepted T'Pol's assistance when she began asking questions to keep the conversation flowing on safe topics. There was little hope his parents would ever approve of his career, as to them it unnecessarily placed him in danger, but they were going to have to accept that he interacted and became friends with aliens or just avoid talking about his life. Because even if he were to remain on Earth those relationships would not end.

* * *

Dinner was going as well as could be expected. Trip had gone through the dishes he thought his parents might like, explaining the choices, with surprising ease. Each time he got it right T'Pol's pleasure came through the bond to him. She was impressed at his knowledge of the fruits and vegetables native to her home planet. Trip had to admit he was just as surprised that he had retained knowledge and could discuss the cuisine he hadn't ever eaten; as well as; the dishes he had tasted. Some he had never encountered before but recognized enough of the ingredients to give an accurate enough assessment for them to find a meal they would enjoy.

"How is it you have eaten so many Vulcan dishes onboard a human starship?" Rachel Tucker was curious what his answer would be.

"Chef makes Vulcan dishes for T'Pol but we don't always eat on the ship. We visit other ships and planets. And sometimes the Captain invites guest aboard Enterprise and chef prepares meals for them."

"You hated trying new foods when you were a kid." His mother remembered insisting all her children clean their plates before they were allowed seconds or dessert.

"Well I've learned to be a lot more open-minded and while our main objective is exploration we are also out there trying to form diplomatic relationships so I have to be diplomatic. We can't exactly do that if we offend everyone by rejecting their culture. And sharing a meal seems to be a socially acceptable way to get to get to know most species." Trip remembered that while for most species that was true it was not true for all.

"What's the worst meal you've had since you left Earth?" The elder Tucker remembered the many meals he had found inedible when traveling across the country and was sure it had to be far worse in outer space.

"Let's see. If it's one that I actually ate it would have to be 'blood soup'. Let's just say one of the ingredients wasn't something most males would consider a delicacy. And as for a meal I didn't eat it would be most anything Klingons eat. They tend towards food that assaults your sense of smell and if you can get past that it's most likely still moving when you're supposed to eat it. Although the Andorians also have some fairly pungent choices that make it impossible to get close enough to see what they are."

T'Pol watched as Rachel Tucker studied the various paintings and statues around the room. "Commander T'Pol are these symbols of Vulcan religion?" Rachel indicated the various statues in the lighted alcoves.

Internally reacting T'Pol wondered why Trip's mother felt it necessary to place distance between them. "Vulcans do not practice any religion. There used to be several belief systems but they no longer exist although the monasteries are still in use today."

"How can you say you're not religious? Everything I've read about Vulcans talks of this Surak. He's regarded as a god that led your people in some sort of reformation. And these statues look like deities much like those that are worshiped in churches here on Earth."

Charles watched Trip. Seeing the awe like expression on his face left him with questions. "You stopped going to church when you you're a teenager Trip, insisting that you believed in what you could see, what you could touch so don't tell me you worship these Vulcan gods."

"Vulcans don't worship gods. They have elders . . .ancestors who are held in high esteem. Surak was a Vulcan who taught them how to control their emotions before they destroyed their entire race." The lines around Trip's eyes deepened and the scowl on his forehead said how tense he was at the prospect of this discussion spiraling out of control.

"The easiest comparison would be with Earth's Plato or other such men who were wise and had a manner that attracted followers and were able to influence the thinking of others. Vulcans are a spiritual people but in no way are we religious. We find it illogical to worship gods." Seeing that this was a sensitive topic for the Tuckers T'Pol regretted asking about the statues.

"So you not only have a Vulcan girlfriend but you've adopted the philosophy of her people?"

Trip became agitated at his mother's accusatory tone but the sensation of T'Pol taking the worst of these feelings from him snapped him back into a reasonable mind set. "Mom we've never agreed on what I do and don't believe so let's just drop it." Some subjects had been taboo in the Tucker household for years and getting in to it in the middle of the Vulcan Consulate was not something Trip was up for. "I've tried to explain why I can't believe the same things you do but you refuse to listen. I'm an engineer who deals with scientific laws and theories. That's always made it hard for me to believe in things I can't see or touch but being in space has made me more open to new ideas. T'Pol has encouraged me to view the world around me without preconceptions and I think I've finally learned how to do that. She's always trying to make me a better man not a Vulcan." It shouldn't have surprised him that his parents saw new ideas as Vulcan influences and not for how they applied to the universe. But he supposed from their perspective it was difficult to see things beyond Earth having traveled very little beyond the borders of the northern hemisphere.

"Your son and I have discussed Surak and his teachings but we have never discussed his personal beliefs in a god or gods. Vulcans find such matters to be extremely intimate and private." T'Pol had never questioned Trip about his beliefs. She had some understanding of what he believed in through their years spent becoming friends and their bond and they had had enough issues between them and they both found it was counterproductive to go searching for subjects that potentially could create problems, preferring to deal with them as they arose in their day to day lives. Once Trip had an understanding of the Kir'Shara and Surak's teachings he found no need to discuss them further.

"Did you read the letters I sent you?"

"Of course we did."

"So what were the things I said we could not talk about?"

His father answered. "Your career choice, where you and T'Pol were going to live and what you were going to do once you leave Starfleet, and religion."

"You both know we are never going to agree or change our positions so let's just agree to disagree and drop it."

"No. You're sitting here expecting us to ignore our own beliefs and be happy that you've abandoned what we raised you to believe." Rachel Tucker was not going to be quiet.

"She's right son. To us it's like you went off to Starfleet and forgot who you are and where you're from." Charles Tucker added in support of his wife.

Before Trip could respond the Ambassador interrupted. Soval nodded to Trip and T'Pol as he automatically greeted all four of them individually. "Sorry to interrupt but I need a moment of your time Trip."

Trip followed him out into the corridor. "Somebody complaining."

"What is there to complain of?"

"My parents are convinced T'Pol and the rest of you are trying to convert me to Vulcanism."

"Vulcanism?"

"Yeah, they've got it in their heads that Surak is a Vulcan god and I'm being influenced to follow his teachings." Trip now saw that because most Humans equated being Vulcan with having no emotions that every time he totally buried or hid his emotions from his parents they saw it as a sign that he was becoming more Vulcan than Human. In the past his emotions were easily read he just kept them to himself to please Lizzie.

"Parents of all species share the tendency to insist they know what is best for their offspring. Do you foresee a better outcome for this visit than the last?"

"If this keeps up then I'm not sure. I know exactly what I want then I get in the same room with them and my resolve seems to disappear and whatever I say goes in one ear and out the other."

"Please tell me that saying has to do with their ability to listen and not that they lack brain matter leaving an open path."

"I was going for not listening but both are distinct possibilities." He smiled hoping Soval would catch that he was being sarcastic.

"Have you considered the possibility of confiding all to your parents?"

"I can't believe you would even suggest such a thing. I can't even talk to another Vulcan about this and you're suggesting I tell humans." It didn't matter that those humans were his parents. Vulcans took the secrecy of their mating habits very seriously.

"They are family and family is held in the highest esteem in our culture."

Trip added alongside duty to himself. "I can't tell them about the bond because I won't risk them letting it slip and someone finding out and trying to exploit us or use it against us but I am considering explaining that what we are is married without the legal documents. They might find that more acceptable than us just living together." Trip searched for T'Pol making sure she was doing okay on her own with his parents and realized that he could barely sense her. That wasn't a good sign. She either was distressed and keeping that fact from him or she was up to something she didn't want him to be aware of. Either case made him uneasy. "So if you aren't here because of complaints what did you want to see me about?"

"I received a message for you." Soval removed a comm unit from his robe and handed it to Trip. "I believe this to be your brother, John. The message says to call this number when your parents have left the area."

Trip had left his comm units in their bungalow. He studied the message. His heart started beating faster and the smile on his face widened. "This is a local number. John must be in San Francisco." He had to pull it together and work things out with his parents sooner rather than later.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**The Difficulty of Unknown Peripheral Awareness (MU)**

"Master Restak." Tucker put up his hand to make the ta'al but the Vulcan priest stopped him.

"It is not necessary to greet me in this manner. Tovosh has assigned me as the personal assistant to both you and your mate, which gives you lan pudor-tor awek along with your lan-terseht over me." (honored rank privately along with your official rank over me).

He listened to what he said and then realized the priest wasn't at all what he'd expected. Although he couldn't really say what it was he had expected. This Vulcan was taller than the males he'd meet prior to this and extremely thin. The Vulcans he'd met were by no means heavy. None carried any excess body fat but Restak was noticeably underweight even with the added bulk of his robes. "So we have our own priest. I didn't know Vulcans had their own personal priests? I thought you lived in monasteries and studied or practiced Koli... whatever it is where you try to get rid of all your emotions."

"Families usually have a priest they prefer and we do live in monasteries but there are situations that call for us to leave such surroundings. My title of master means that I am a Master of Kolinahr but I have also mastered many other Vulcan rituals and disciplines. My official assignment is to your staff but Tovosh was clear that you and your mate are to direct my actions."

"So exactly what are your duties supposed to be?" T'Pol had given him a quick rundown of what a master priest did but it was still unclear as to what Tovosh thought this priest could do for them.

"I have certain abilities that may prove to be useful in your search for those who would betray the Resistance." His orders were more involved than just discovering who was disloyal but the Commanders would have to become aware of that over time.

"So you can mind-meld and see if those we suspect as traitors are lying or not?" Chewing on the inside of his cheek he tried to hide his discomfort with this whole idea.

"And more if need be. But it would be easier if you just discuss what your needs are. Then I will decide how best to meet those needs." That way he wouldn't spend hours explaining the many rituals or techniques a Vulcan priest was capable of utilizing.

His being slightly uncomfortable with the prospect of using a Vulcan's abilities to obtain the truth Tucker was slowly morphing into an understanding of the inevitability of utilizing the priest for the benefit of the fleet. "This works on all species right?" They were concentrating on the Vulcans but they still hadn't discovered who had sabotaged T'Pol's data or why.

"There are two species that have proven resistant. The Ferengi and the Betazoids."

Tucker avoided the Betazoids whenever possible because they were not as disciplined as the Vulcans when it came to intruding on others thoughts and he found it extremely tiring to maintain tight control of his shields in their presence. "Betazoids I understand but Ferengi's aren't telepathic." Betazoids were so uninhibited with their mental processes that they didn't employ more than rudimentary barriers to their thoughts and feelings or their reading of everyone else's so one who did would stand out.

"Their minds are resistant to all intrusions. It is unclear as to why this is. Betazoids are also unable to read their thoughts." The priest sensed the rapid stream thoughts being fired through the human's brain.

"No worries there. A Betazoid wouldn't be able to hide and unless there's something of monetary value involved the Ferengi aren't interested in. And while I've been told they are capable of most anything to accumulate wealth, I'm pretty sure they draw the line at risking their own lives." There were two Ferengi in the fleet and they both were supply officers. Tucker and T'Pol had discussed appointing Nim, as Tucker had settled on calling him, as the fleet's supply officer, but had refrained from officially designating him as such until he was certified as competent with his weapon. His lack of skills left no question that he could be used as an effective spy.

"Ferengi are deceptive by nature and you are correct they will scheme to acquire wealth but I agree they don't have the temperament for spying." There wasn't enough profit for a Ferengi to justify putting themselves in the kind of dangerous situation where they might not be around to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

"So how do you suggest we begin this process?" It wasn't as if they could file the Vulcans in and let the priest perform a meld with each of them.

"I will begin to familiarize myself with the Vulcans on this ship first. My abilities allow me to detect when others are being less than truthful or apprehensive for any reason. Once I have compiled a list of possibilities we should meet with your security team and compare our findings and the next course of action."

"Great just what we need a walking lie detector. Do you read my thoughts also?"

"I do sense those thoughts that pass through on the surface of your mind without any effort but as your gol-nevsu awek (private aide) it is forbidden for me go beyond that without your express permission. And I have already come to see that many of these thoughts are random manifestations with no real basis in reality. Products of a very active imagination and unencumbered thought process." The Vulcan was already making several adjustments to his own mental disciplines to accommodate the barrage of thoughts that passed through the human's mind.

"Never mind, I really don't think I want to know." Tucker could only imagine what a Vulcan would think of the strange and undisciplined mind of a human. If he considered the thoughts that had run through his mind in just the last hour he didn't want to know what the Vulcan might be thinking of him.

"There is no need for embarrassment. I believe that is the correct term for what you are currently experiencing." He watched as Tucker nodded to indicate he was correct. "I have come to understand that this is how your mind works and I believe the uncensored nature of your thoughts and the inner workings of your mind is what has made you the talented engineer I have heard you are." The priest was a spiritual guide and had no background in scientific matters so had no basis to draw any conclusions about the human's professional accomplishments. Others who were qualified to make this determination had expressed that the human was indeed a gifted engineer.

"Well, that's asking a lot. I'm starting to get an idea of how a Vulcan's mind works so can see how disconcerting my thoughts and emotions can be. My discipline is shaky still and I know what happens when it slips and T'Pol has to deal with me full on. But she's my mate and our bond takes care of any reactions she might have to my-shall we say 'baser thoughts'." Tucker had instructed T'Pol to search his mind when she had questions about something he was thinking or feeling first, then if she needed more of an explanation she should ask him. That way she would learn what was real and what were just superficial imaginings. The Vulcan priest did not have the benefit of a bond so would be left with a very slanted view of human beings.

"Vulcan males may only have such 'baser thoughts and emotions' at their time of mating but we do understand that other cultures are less inhibited. May I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Being Vulcan I'm sure you won't ask any questions I would have to refuse to answer." Tucker wasn't comfortable discussing his personal thoughts with a Vulcan priest.

"T'Pol has expressed concern about your bond. She says that in you it seems to be almost dormant except when you are involved in an intimate activity or unless you perceive some danger you must protect her from."

Whoa! When had T'Pol spoken to a priest and why hadn't she ever mentioned this concern to him? Then he remembered. "She mentioned that she was looking into our bond. Is there a problem?"

The priest answered his unspoken inquiry. "She sought out my counsel before you left Xindus. Are you aware of your bond at this moment?"

"Yes. It's always sitting back there but she's right it doesn't seem very active most of the time." When he'd first discovered the connection he was hyper aware of its existence but now unless he needed to access it he hardly noticed it.

"For a mated Vulcan this is a strange occurrence. The bond is the driving force between mates. It monitors the physical and emotional state of each and allows the other to know when there is a need or if the other is in distress." The priest studied Tucker's reactions.

"T'Pol told me that. But I don't understand what the problem is. Am I not meeting some need she has?"

"No, actually she says you are a perfect mate for her but she does not understand how or why?"

"That doesn't make any sense. She knows how I feel about her so why would she question that?"

"So what you feel for her is what determines how you behave towards her?"

"Yeah." Tucker began pulling his emotions and thoughts that related to T'Pol into the forefront of his mind.

Master Restak began to sense the emotions from the human. "Do you not think it wise to forewarn your mate of what you are doing?" The Vulcan was suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity of what the human felt for his mate. He had never felt most of these emotions.

"She's felt this from me before and she'll either ask me if it concerns her or she'll come see me as soon as she has some free time." In the past he might have warned her but they had been working on finding control and balance between them when the unexpected happened.

"So which of these emotions is the one humans call love?"

"It's not just one emotion it's all of them. At any given time I can be feeling any or all of them where T'Pol is concerned."

"But there is anger, hurt, frustration, and many other less favorable emotions here."

"Yes there are and they're all part of how I feel about her. And she's an expert at making me feel every one of them and sometimes all at the same time. This might be hard to understand but some of my darker emotions were what initially drove my more tender feelings for her According to T'Pol our katras made the choice to be bonded because we were attracted to each other and then desired to be together. Is she questioning that?"

"T'Pol's inexperience may be what has brought her to this place. She just needs to see that this 'love' you feel is your bond. It is what drives you to care for and protect your mate."

"That's true but then there's this Vulcan bond as backup if I screw it up on my own. I gave her my word when I told her we'd take care of each other. Isn't that what Vulcans do with their mates? Promise to care for and protect them as long as they're able?"

"But you are not Vulcan and you are acting in a unique combination of both a Vulcan and human mate and she does not understand this."

This was territory he needed to cover with T'Pol. "So is advising me part of your duties?"

"Yes. I am to assist both you and T'Pol privately and professionally. But you must decide what my designation will be as part of your senior staff."

"Well, first you're Commander Restak. The rank will cut down on the inevitable questions about you and it's the best way to give you authority and access along with you being our assistant. But that means you have to take care of more than our spiritual needs."

"Are you implying I would find this duty undesirable?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. But while I'm being less than tactful, do your loyalties lie with Vulcan or the Resistance?"

"Any service to my people is honorable but my loyalty is now pledged to you and your mate. Therefore, do not let your concerns overshadow what my duty is."

Tucker shook his head trying to come to some understanding of Vulcans and loyalty. His experiences with these people seemed to be at opposite ends of the spectrum making it difficult to get a clear picture of what they stood for. "I won't." Another case of having to trust someone until he found a reason not to. He let that thought go as he studied the Vulcan's clothing. "You can't wear your priest robes. I'll need your measurements so we can find some Vulcan uniforms that fit you."

"Tovosh anticipated my needs..." Restak pointed to his bags. "...and provided me with uniforms. We discussed what was required of me when the assignment was given. Functioning as a member of this crew is the only way for me to be effective in my role as advisor."

Tucker retrieved a commander's insignia and a comm badge from his desk drawer. "I don't suppose they taught you how to defend yourself and use a phase pistol?" Tucker had no experience with priests but surmised combat and self-defense were not part of their training.

"All members of the Resistance are required to complete such training." Priests were exempt from military service but all Vulcans were trained in several defensive arts and a variety of weapons. As a priest, he would choose other methods to disable an enemy, when possible, but the ethics of his calling did not prevent him taking a life if it was necessary to fulfill his duty.

Tucker sensed T'Pol approaching and walked toward the door while directing Restak to the bathroom. Wanting him to change before he was seen by the crew. "Okay then go change into a uniform; then we'll go get you assigned quarters."

Hours later on Oreoreus Station Tucker and T'Pol were waiting to meet a trader with their supply officer.

"Nim, where is this trader we're supposed to be meeting?"

"He's right here. Commander Tucker is it?" A very large male appeared from the dark corner on the far side of the bar." I am Kendor Solmoal." The trader nodded to them as the human indicated he was Commander Tucker.

"This is Commander T'Pol. And Nim there you already know."

The trader studied the Ferengi first then returned his gaze to the human. "Yes, we have done business together over the years. He tells me you are in need of a cloaking device."

"My understanding is that you and he have worked out the details and we're here to look over the device to be sure it is what you say it is. Nim here did inform you that it must be able to cloak a starship didn't he?"

"Yes. We have several devices but only two that would fulfill your requirements."

"Exactly how many is several?" Tucker's interest perked up at the prospect of acquiring several more devices.

"I could provide you with ten or twelve devices that would cloak a medium-sized ship. I have access to a rather large inventory of devices appropriate for shuttles and smaller ships."

T'Pol watched as the trader again looked out toward the front of the establishment. "Are you expecting someone?"

Sucking in his breath he tired to hide his nervousness. "No I'm always a little jumpy when I meet new clients. And humans have a bad reputation."

Tucker caught the flicker across his expression and the tick in his voice that said he was agitated and a bit more skittish than meeting new customers would account for. The engineer stood and took the seat next to the trader, placing his phaser on the table between them letting one hand remain on top of the weapon while his other hand held the Coridan traders weapon in place. Should he act as the unstable and intolerant human he expected or should he try to establish some kind of rapport with him? "I can be friendly, easy to get along with or I can become very agitated and upset when I feel threatened in any way. So Kendor, you need to consider your answer very carefully so I can decide which it is to be with you." He moved in closer and spoke quietly. "Who's out there?"

The trader's eyes were locked on his scar, which he could now plainly see. "I do not wish there to be any hard feelings between us. I look forward to a very long and prosperous relationship but first we must dispose of a common enemy." Kendor became very fidgety. "A Terran starship came to trade and once they docked the captain and his MACOS took several of my people as hostages and have threatened to kill them if I do not deliver you and the Vulcan female to him."

"And you were going to lead us into a trap?"

"I hadn't decided. You are human and I did not know if you could be trusted." The trader needed to decide and fast. "Is there anyway you can get my people back, unharmed?"

"We can try but there are no guarantees." Tucker looked around the room. Whomever the Empire had sent after them would have no problem killing everyone on the station to ensure they met their objective. "You need to get everyone in here somewhere safe."

The human had been honest and not tried to offer promises he had no way to keep and did not wish to involve innocent bystanders in his affairs. But if they all exited it could tip the Terrans that he had warned the Commanders of their presence. "There are rooms below this one."

"Then I suggest you get down there." Shouting out orders Tucker moved to the doorway for a better view down the corridor. "Security help get everyone safely out of here and T'Pol see if you can see anything out there." Tucker used his head to point towards the back door.

"Commander Tucker I believe I will..." The Ferengi supply officer was moving toward the door leading to safety.

Tucker grabbed at Nimbus pulling him to one side of the front entrance. "I believe you will act like an officer in the Resistance and stay right there. Point and shoot at any human that comes down that corridor." Tucker then hit his comm badge. "Mickey this is Tucker."

"What do you need Commander?" The security officer knew there must be a problem if he was contacting him from the planet.

"Run scans for human bio-signs and then transport some additional tactical teams down here. The Empire sent a starship after us."

While he waited for the results of the scans, Tucker turned to the security team behind him and asked, "Wiptol, didn't the report you sent say everyone had successfully completed their weapons training?"

"Yes, sir. 90% was the lowest score." The officer answered.

Contemplating this for a minute lead the Commander to the conclusion that a lack of target practice was not the issue with the Ferengi's reluctance to engage the enemy. More consideration would need to be given to the problem when he had the time.

Mickey ran the scans while obvious questions like how had they located them kept popping into his mind. There was no time for that now so he set it aside until later. "Tucker, scans show them 300 meters from your current location. I'm transporting three teams inside with you and the rest will transport down behind them." Mickey hurriedly called on teams to transport down from various ships in the fleet.

"Did you distribute all the new comm badges and are you prepared to carry out a retrieval?" Their plans for the future were coming to fruition much sooner than anticipated. Tucker had his engineers manufacture new comm devices that allowed for tracking the crew, of any of the ships in the fleet from any ship in the fleet, while hiding their biosigns from anyone else. The devices also scrambled the data stream containing any signals to and from them. Mickey should be able to use them to differentiate which side the alien crew belonged to.

"Yes and yes. There are five alien biosigns headed towards you with the humans. Sensors have not located the ship."

Tucker listened in on the conversation T'Pol was having with Kendor. "Scan the far side of the station. They're docked there with a dampening field around the ship. Check with Bestal if you can't break through. He has access to a prototype of a handheld scanner we've been working on. Let me know once all the non-humans have been transported off the station."

"Keep your head down Commander. Wait until my teams are positioned outside before you do anything."

"No problem. This is your area of expertise so just tell them to let me know once they're set." Tucker was in charge but he took full advantage of the staff he and T'Pol were still pulling together. The staff was chosen because they were very capable of performing their duties, freeing up the Fleet Commanders to concentrate on science/engineering issues and the bigger picture for the entire fleet.

Tucker watched the dark shadows of his fellow humans looming, moving towards their position. He'd fought officers and MACOS before but had never had to kill any of them. His career in Starfleet was dictated by his talent. He never had to assassinate his superior officers to get ahead because he was smarter than any of them and had advanced by that alone. And not killing anyone made it more likely they'd accept his protection later when he offered it. This kept his crews in line, which had helped him avoid some of the inevitable scrutiny of Reed, Forrest, and Archer. He'd ranked out on Enterprise unless he wanted to be first officer or be promoted out of Engineering but that would have meant taking out Reed and T'Pol and then being stationed on the Bridge and not getting his hands dirty.

"They're coming around front so stay alert." The words barely made it out of Tucker's mouth before the sound of multiple sets of heavy boots hitting the metal surface of the back door reverberated all around them.

He counted the seconds, to himself, before they opened fire. One...two...three and the fight was on. He moved his position so he could protect the front door to keep them from being caught in a crossfire and becoming trapped. The Ferengi was firmly planted behind the bar, weapon in hand pointed outward, but it seemed unlikely it would be fired unless one of the MACOS made a direct attack on him.

Phasers began being fired from behind the entering MACOS and none had made their way around to the front entrance so the teams that transported down from the fleet must have cut them off. The engineer had discovered that his keen sense for sound, vibrations, and the general feel of the air could also be used during a firefight. One just had to know what to listen for. Instead of the whir of an engine or the tapping of injectors or the vibration of the warp core, he listened for weapons fire to determine what type and how close it was, the sound of breathing to determine how much energy they were exerting, and the motion of the air spoke to him of the proximity of the enemy.

Panic, he felt her panic and fear. Circling back around Tucker began searching for T'Pol. His concentration had been on the advancing attack and he'd lost track of her. He tried using the bond but her overwhelming fear was dominating both sets of senses. "T'Pol where are you?" Tucker frantically searched the area. His own panic began to set in. Cold. But not just cold she was freezing.

He had to find her. He exited through the rear and searched down the corridor and when he located her every muscle in his body was tensed so tightly they felt as if they would snap with the least amount of movement or pressure. Tucker approached the open door to what appeared to be a refrigeration unit and found T'Pol being held down by someone trying to secure her to the bulkhead.

The figure turned when he passed through the doorway. "Archer...what..." Tucker spit the name out not quite sure he wasn't imagining this. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force himself to relax but his fear and anger were stubbornly hanging on so he then tried to push his way through and when he opened his eyes again the other side of his brain had taken over.

Archer observed Tucker as he held his forearm around T'Pol's throat, exaggerating his motion against her windpipe. "Never let them matter Tucker. You didn't learn anything while you were on Enterprise did you? You're going to die because you let this whore get under your skin. Let her turn you inside out so you betrayed your own."

You have no idea how wrong that sounds he thought. Physical pain had nothing on the emotional pain he'd experienced because of T'Pol. And the thought of what it would be like if something happened to her convinced him that if the worst happened, death would be most welcomed. And there was nothing he wouldn't do to prevent that from ever becoming a reality. The sensation in his throat wasn't his and it sent waves of anger through his body. Then he heard her pleas for him to remain focused and to think break through. His gaze returned to Archer. "You should be dead." What could he possibly have promised anyone in exchange for his life?

"Sorry to disappoint you." T'Pol continued to struggle, almost escaping the vise-like grasp the human had around her throat. In reaction, Archer hit her on the side of the head several times, with his weapon, rendering her unconscious. The captain kept his hold on her using her body as a shield.

Her mate felt her sink into oblivion, but had to keep control of his emotions or risk losing her. Having this useless argument with Archer kept his former captain talking but it required immense concentration on Tuckers part to keep his real motives hidden. "You can't really believe the Empire will survive the way it is. It doesn't work anymore." Tucker didn't know if it ever had. Those who craved power and money had always existed and always found their way to the Emperor's side or some position that offered them access to whatever it was they required for survival.

Focus on the cold he told himself to keep his anger in check and then he repeatedly screamed,_ "T'Pol,"_ in his head trying to revive her. He'd been able to hear her in his head when he wanted to or if she made an effort to gain his attention, but he hadn't tried projecting his thoughts to her. They were together most times and when they weren't it was enough just to monitor each other to gauge the status of moods and comfort level.

"So what you and this Vulcan thought you were going to make a better universe?" That he thought they were pathetic was obvious in his snarling tone.

"We're going to try to get as many of the species as we can to stop the Empire and hopefully once that's accomplished we'll be able to carry that cooperation forward." T'Pol was slowly coming to. Tucker could feel her throbbing head now and the slight sense of confusion as her mind began to work its way back to consciousness.

The Starfleet captain laughed. "Didn't take you for a fool who would believe in those fantasies from the other universe. It's never going to happen. Power and greed win out every time." Archer had read all the reports from the other universe. How all the species banned together to monitor the quadrant to keep it free and safe. His laugh grew louder.

"For some maybe but if enough of us stand together we can limit their influence and keep them from taking over the whole quadrant." The empire and Earth were free to operate however, the people there decided, but the other species wished to push them back and prevent them from exerting influence beyond their borders and on any humans who wished to leave Earth. He suddenly knew why Archer was here. "You made a deal with them didn't you? Your life for ours."

Archer's laughter became more cynical. "That's what the Emperor promised. I bring your body back and I'm free to go wherever I want as long as I leave Earth. But that doesn't matter as long as I get to have my revenge on you." Archer woke up on Avenger hands and feet still trussed up like a turkey about to be roasted. It took the rest of the crew some time to recover from being rendered unconscious, but once they were awake Archer's life hung in the balance until he was able to talk them down. Having accepted that he would most likely not survive because of his treasonous acts, Archer frantically began putting forth the offer to hunt the traitorous pair down.

The ego-centric captain had hired himself out as the Emperor's assassin and they must have let him remain the captain of Avenger to fulfill his new assignment. "Well at least you're consistent. It's all about you. And revenge for what? You're still alive." Tucker kept trying to focus his internal mind on T'Pol without drawing attention so had to engage Archer, playing to his ego, until he and T'Pol silently worked out what they were going to do. He could hear her thoughts clearly but had no idea if she could hear his.

When it happened, the actions were automatic. Archer would not stop and the Tholians had implied their return if Archer survived so he could not survive. Tucker brought the phaser up quickly as T'Pol made her move freeing herself from Archer's grasp then dropping down flat against the floor, the opening registered, and the shot hit Archer square in the chest. At impact T'Pol rolled away and the captain collapsed on the floor.

Archer turned his head in Tucker's direction. He gasped out, "You've changed. I didn't think you had it in you."

"You have no idea." The images of firing at anonymous humans with his phaser or watching as Defiant's weapons were turned on a Terran ship had been part of his nightmares, since they'd left orbit around Xindus, keeping him awake nights. Leaving Starfleet and fighting against the Empire were not acts he regretted but still that guilt or whatever it was that was hammering away at him would not be overcome. T'Pol experienced the same reservations about her own species every time a death squad from Vulcan attacked, even though she would not, could not change the outcome of those encounters.

"They made you a murderer." Blood pooled around Archer's torso and his breathing was becoming extremely labored.

"No, they made a soldier out of me," he said as Archer tried to sit up. Until today that hadn't truly been a part of how Tucker saw himself. The soldier stood over Archer. "You're so wrong about letting her matter to me. Caring about her gives me the will and the strength to do whatever I have to do to keep us both alive and free." Explaining this was impossible if one hadn't experienced it themselves. And Archer never would. Tucker brought his phaser up, took aim, closed off all his senses, and fired. 'Death is the only way to stop him' ran through his mind as Archer took his last breath. He hadn't thought his former captain's eyes could look anymore cold and dead until that moment.

A moan from T'Pol, who was attempting to stand, shook him and several long strides brought him to where she was leaning against a pillar. His hand moved to within inches of T'Pol's head injury but stopped short. "Are you okay?" He didn't have supplies to treat her wound so all he could do was assess her state internally for now.

T'Pol rubbed her neck and Tucker could see there would be bruising as the skin was already turning color. T'Pol looked down on Archer and Tucker saw her body react to the small release of tension before her rational side took over. "Yes. We need to check on the status of the rest of the teams."

He walked behind her and stopped, moving behind a door for cover, when she did. He'd heard the movement also. It must be the adrenaline pumping through their systems that had their senses on high alert because there was no one there. When he felt her trying to take an inventory of his emotions he pulled himself back mentally and opened his comm, "All teams report."

"We have them pinned down, Commander." A voice came over the link.

"I don't hear any weapons being fired." It had become eerily quiet. Tucker looked around and saw only teams from the fleet.

"We're in a bit of a standoff." Came from an anonymous voice over the comm.

"Do what you have to do to finish this and send someone who has a medkit to the back corridor now." Tucker moved around to look out into the open area beyond the door. He commed Defiant. "Mickey have you located their ship?"

"Its Avenger and its two levels down on the far side just like you said. Our teams have boarded and are securing the bridge. Engineering and the Armory are under our control. The last group of aliens has just been transported to our brig and are awaiting your arrival."

This wasn't the practical experience they'd been looking for but the teams were performing better than they'd hoped so it would do. It proved that the simulated training had been effective in preparing them. "See to their needs and make sure they know they will not be harmed. Send Commander Restak to see them. Any casualties?" The Vulcan priest would ask questions and sort out the ones that were trustworthy and hadn't been turned by Starfleet.

A crewman came down the corridor to tend to T'Pol's injury. Tucker watched as he bandaged her head and then heard the hiss of a hypospray.

The head of security continued his report. "One dead and two wounded. Neither critical. Last count put four dead for the empire."

"Make that five. Archer was leading the attack here but his luck finally ran out." He should have died several times for his actions but somehow always managed to come out alive.

"I thought he was already dead and why don't you sound too thrilled that he is." All the reports about Archer leaned towards insanity on his part and whether he was insane or not he had nothing good to say about any other species and went out of his way to make them suffer. He didn't hold many in his own species in high regard, as far as Mickey could see, so Tucker's lack of enthusiasm baffled him.

"He got what he deserved. Let's just leave it at that." Part of him accepted that he had no choice but that other part...that piece of who he was before Starfleet twisted what T'Pol called his katra into something unrecognizable...that part would always make him question if there had been another way. There would be time to pick through his insides with T'Pol later he told himself as he turned his focus to what needed to be done.

"Avenger's crew have all surrendered and are on their way back to the ship. You're clear." Mickey was transporting them all to a cargo bay where guards had been dispatched.

"Thanks. Get some teams down here to do some clean up." His attention returned to T'Pol. She was up and issuing orders. "T'Pol and I are heading to Avenger to decide what to do." Leaving the human crew stranded here was not an option if they wished to build any goodwill with the station inhabitants and it was unlikely many of the human crewmen would wish to join the Resistaance so that left killing them outright or releasing them in escape pods where they would most likely die. But at least they had a chance. It was more than the Empire ever gave them. Avenger would now become part of the Resistaance's fleet, which meant they had to pull together a crew that was capable of flying the Starfleet ship.

"Tucker to Captain Vorack."

"Vorack here."

"Captain we need a crew on Avenger. You need to name a captain and make any recommendations you want for crew."

"We'll take care of the crew rosters you concentrate on recruitment and getting that cloaking device."

Vorack was anxious to get the cloak installed on Defiant. "The cloak will be delivered..." The Coridan indicated a couple of hours. "in two hours. We still need to make a transfer of credits. We're also working on acquiring a few more for some of the other ships." Tucker was also considering Nim's suggestion that they work out long-term deals with the some of the traders here but he needed to consult with both T'Pol and Nim further.

T'Pol and Tucker went in search of their supply officer to finish up any last minute arrangements for the transfer of funds and the cloaking device before going to Avenger. They stepped through the door and turned towards the bar when a phaser was fired. Tucker pushed T'Pol down and forward before he tried to move himself in the same direction. The shot grazed across his back ripping though his uniform leaving a burning trail between his shoulder blades. The minute T'Pol became aware of his pain she broke free in the direction the weapons fire had come from. Pointing her own phaser at the Ferengi, who was frozen with fear, she fired. Tucker thought she was blind with rage but soon decided she must have some control because the shots were not meant to hit him until one grazed his arm.

"T'Pol stop." Tucker yelled, running to stop her forward movement before she reached Nim and let loose all the emotions he could feel coming from her.

Fortunately, for all T'Pol's head wound slowed her reactions and she became disoriented from all the sudden movements. When Tucker saw that her eyes were glazed over and that he was having difficulty getting her attention he commed Mickey and ordered him to transport her to Sickbay. He punched the Ferengi in the face and then stood staring at him trying to decide what course of action to take but his anger kept getting in the way so he had him and a medic transported to the brig on Defiant until he could think more rationally about what needed to be done. On his way to Avenger, he worked at clearing his mind and calming himself before he dealt with the Starfleet crew.

Restak was waiting for him outside the cargo bay. "Are there any concerns with the aliens?" The priest had spent time with the twenty or so aliens Starfleet had assigned to Avenger to replace those that left on Defiant.

"Security has separated several that were unreadable. Perhaps they are simply highly emotional after the events on the station and after being offered the chance to return home." He had stopped short of melding with them wishing to consult with the Commanders first.

"Good. Now I need you to do the same thing here but with humans. If any of them decide to side with us then I need you to tell me if they can be trusted." The value of Restak's talents became clearer. The more crews they recruited from or allowed to leave the Empire via the Resistaance ships, the more likely it would be that Starfleet would plant spies amongst their crews to infiltrate the Resistance. And the Vulcans would all need to be scrutinized very closely to ensure they were not spies for the Vulcan Council.

"Oh and Commander Restak, we need you to find out which ones we should question about how they found us." He hadn't asked for details on exactly how the priest read their thoughts and emotions; he'd only asked if it could be done without detection.

Tucker went outside the cargo bay leaning against the bulkhead wondering what happened to the lull in action they had been planning on. Restak found the minds he wished to probe further and isolated them from the larger group. He'd watched Restak mind meld with several of Avenger's crew searching for information. They'd assumed the Vulcans would back off or at least regroup but now Archer had somehow happened upon their location. They needed intel as to how the humans found them. It wasn't as if they had sent out announcements of their location and this station was far enough out of the normal patterns of travel that it wouldn't have been considered. Avenger and Starfleet didn't have the technology to track them, as Tucker had modified their warp signature and all electrical output to leave unrecognizable signatures.

The door opened. Tucker could almost feel frustration so he guessed he was right about what he was about to report. "Commander Tucker, the Vulcans gave them the information. He was to kill you and rendezvous with the Vulcans to hand over Commander T'Pol."

After Archer's statement about turning over his body Tucker suspected the Vulcans were behind this and wanted T'Pol returned to them. "Thanks, Restak. Why don't you go back to Defiant. I'm sure you need to meditate." T'Pol had had to meditate both times after melding with him for short periods of time and Restak had been melding and reading this crew's thoughts for hours now.

"Do you wish me to contact Tovosh or would you rather do so yourself?"

"I got a message to contact him so I'll do it. You let Mickey know who stays and who goes." He pointed back to the cargo bay. He walked away trying to push his emotions down. He'd ordered the Vulcan to forcibly meld with the prisoners to find the information they needed then wipe their memory of the encounter. Just months ago he would have been appalled if anyone had suggested such a thing to him having only recently forgiven T'Pol for doing the same to him and now he found it was acceptable as a tool in this war. The thought of the Vulcans who had Lizzie doing this to her tore at him. This day was never going to be over and there were many more to come.

"May I suggest you also meditate soon. It will help with the conflict you are experiencing."

"Being in conflict is a constant anymore but you're right meditating with T'Pol helps." He'd always had intense emotions and thoughts but the dominant one was usually only anger making his outlook border on futureless. Now there was anger, doubt, and fear of what kind of man he was becoming juxtaposed against the connection he felt to his crew and T'Pol and a hope for a future he had no real concept of but knew had to be better than the past.

Tucker walked through the door and stopped. If T'Pol weren't here, he would have avoided this place but he had to see her even though the bond told him she was awake and active.

"Commander Tucker it's good to finally see you here. You've ignored all my requests for a meeting." The Rigelian doctor was required to examine each of the crew to establish their current state of health and to establish a baseline for the future; as well as; gather samples of DNA and ample supplies of blood for any future emergencies. He could always use synthetic substances, if needed, but these brought about the possibility of problems and were only used as a last resort. And Tucker being human presented challenges because his physiology was unknown to the other species.

The human looked around at the many experiments in progress noting that none involved live subjects. Rigelians were known for their extensive work in gene therapy, which lead to cures for many diseases. "I'm not avoiding you. Sickbay's just not a place I willingly spend time." He lied. He hadn't even bothered to find out the doctor's name as he planned to never come here. His mind brought forth the images of all the times he'd been subjected to Phlox's special brand of treatment.

"I understand from many of your shipmates that your previous experiences with doctors were not pleasant ones." Although the last entry in his records showed that the human had sought out treatment to regain his vision and repair some of the scarring on his face. The surgeon had noted his apprehension and the need for his 'mates' presence during any treatment. The doctor had not stated why.

He tried to block out the odors and worked at pushing the images and thoughts away. "I came to check on Commander T'Pol. Can I see her?"

"Yes but she is not very receptive at the moment. Something about being sent here against her will." The doctor had to threaten to sedate her before she allowed him to examine her.

"Yeah she was a little disoriented so I had her transported from the station without asking her." She was more than disoriented, she was out of control.

"It's good that you did. There are no signs of concussion but the trauma to the occipital and temporal lobes from repeated blows will continue to cause some issues with her vision and other senses and it may impede her ability to form or retrieve memories. There is also trauma in her frontal lobe but it is less severe but for a Vulcan it may cause problems with emotions. She'll need to refrain from overtaxing her mind until it has a chance to heal itself." The doctor knew Vulcans meditated and they were capable of exerting a great deal of mental energy to maintain and heal their bodies but had no practical experience with their physiology so all he could draw from was what was in the database.

"Can she leave or does she need to stay here?" Tucker moved closer to the area where the curtain enclosed the biobed.

"If you can guarantee she will rest she is free to go. Just be aware that her behavior may be somewhat inappropriate for the next several days."

"Let me talk to her then I'll let you know." He could hear her struggling against the restraints. That explained the exertion he'd felt her putting forth for some time now. "Has she been like that the whole time?"

"Yes. I considered sedating her but with cranial injuries, and the possibility of intracranial pressure building it can be dangerous to do so for a Vulcan." Her brain showed no signs of continued swelling but it was better to administer pain medication and observe the patient rather than risk sedation that according to the database could lock a Vulcans mind in the darkest recesses of their suppressed memories and make it difficult if not impossible for them to return to a conscious state.

That she was angry with him was a given but the closer he got to her the stronger the anger, the more he questioned what else was upsetting her. "T'Pol." He peeked around the curtain.

She looked at him but said nothing.

"I understand you're upset with me but you could have killed Nim and I couldn't let that happen."

"He shot you." She screamed through her clenched teeth as she continued to pull at the restraints.

He clamped down on his shields to keep her from perceiving the pain of the burn left on his back by the phaser. "I know and we need to deal with that but you were out of control and needed medical treatment and we didn't have what we needed to help you." Once he stopped her attack her lack of any ability to focus was what concerned him most. That and the rage he'd felt coursing through her body.

He stood there for several minutes watching her waiting for her to say something. When nothing came, he turned to leave. "I'm going to our quarters. When you've calmed down and let the doctor here know you're ready to talk to me then I'll be back." He could plead with her to stop but she wasn't ready to listen to anything he had to say so he left. Once he was in the corridor away from the sounds and smells he felt his tension level fall.

Tucker didn't go to their quarters, instead he commed Mickey to meet him in the brig. He was by no means over the fact that one of their own officers had shot him in the back but he could now speak to him without the desire to do him bodily harm.

"Lt. Nimbus." Tucker used his name and without even a hint of laughter. "You have a serious problem." Tucker saw where his fist had connected with his face.

"Yes, sir. I apologize for discharging my weapon at you Commander Tucker."

"That's fine but you have a bigger problem than me. My mate wants your head and I'm not sure we can stop her from taking it."

"Your mate?" There was a genuine look of surprise on the Ferengi's face. "Co...Co...Commander T'Pol is your mate?"

Listening to the Ferengi, who never had a problem speaking before, stutter out his question let Tucker know he had struck the right chord.

Mickey let loose with a disbelieving laugh. "Where have you been? He shares quarters with her and she's a Vulcan. Did you think they were just friends?"

"I know little of the Vulcans. It seems I owe you another apology for continually propositioning your mate."

Tucker smiled. He may be an officer but Nim was hopeless as anything other than a supply officer because he was oblivious to what it took to operate outside his world of acquisition. "Well, thanks but we didn't take that seriously. If you'd tried anything, she'd have made it perfectly clear she wasn't interested. What we need to figure out is how to convince her that you are no longer a threat to my safety. By the way, how did you manage to pass the training? The computer shows you scored 92% on the weapons test."

"The tests were not real so I had no problem firing my weapon at targets that weren't going to fire back."

"So we need to implement training that is more like the real thing for you." Tucker would need to give this some thought as that training was time intensive and used for the security officers and those who would most need it. He also needed to discuss the possibility of helping the Ferengi overcome his fear with Restak. It was obvious now that he simply was not equipped to handle life-threatening situations but they needed his skills as a negotiator, which required him to leave the confines and safety of the ship, often. "You'll remain here until you've managed to convince Commander T'Pol that you are properly trained so she doesn't try to shot you again." Tucker nodded to Mickey and left.

'Damn it why can't I shut this out?' Thoughts and feelings, his and hers keep flooding his mind. T'Pol was caught up in her rage and his own violent confusion feed into the whirlpool of emotions they were both fighting to stamp down. It suddenly hit him that that the doctor told him her senses and emotions might be...the word he'd used was...inappropriate. Maybe he'd been too harsh and expected too much when he'd left her in Sickbay.

Upon entering Sickbay, he first pushed the creepy feeling away again. He wondered if there'd ever be a day when he walked into a medical facility of any kind and not feel repulsed and fearful. Next, he let his eyes peruse the room for the doctor or any of his staff. No one was in sight so he then focused his attention on the emotions and thoughts he could sense but found none besides T'Pol's so he knew there was no one else here.

Looking at her almost asleep, he wanted to lie down next to her but didn't want to wake her so he went to the biobed next to hers and laid down. And watched her rest while he tried to let his mind relax and find a meditative place to stop adding fuel to this inferno that was still burning back and forth between them but there was too much activity. There was no stillness to be found.

"You came back." He heard the words and opened his eyes to see her staring at him.

"Yeah I figured out that I was being an ass. You were hurt and your control is all shot to hell and I expected...it doesn't matter...Are you ready to go or would you rather stay here?"

"You are blocking me from your mind. Why?"

"The doctor says it might be a few days before your brain is back to normal and until you're healed you need to concentrate on yourself."

"I can feel the uncertainty and confusion but not what has caused it."

"It's been a long day and a lot of stuff happened that I really would rather not talk about right now."

"You're upset about Archer?" That was all she'd gotten from him.

"Yeah but I'm not sure why. He had you, he'd have kept coming after us, and...I know there was nothing else I could have done but...we're not talking about this now." One of these days he'd catch on quicker when she tried getting him to talk when he said he needed time and right now she needed rest and he needed to let it all go.

It had been so much easier before. He was angry and sarcastic all the time, hiding out in Engineering on Enterprise and there was little to consider except how to stay alive. He was still angry and sarcastic, but now he'd begun to form relationships on levels he never knew existed before and that he still didn't understand. And T'Pol brought forth this all-encompassing swarm of emotions he gave up trying to unravel. Good, bad, rational, irrational, every dichotomy he could think of came with any thoughts associated with her.

Archer had created a whirlwind of conflict. Tucker kept telling himself his dying wasn't such a big deal? He'd left him to die on Avenger and hadn't given it a second thought. And it wasn't as if he'd go back and change it, but images of his lifeless body and 'I did that' rolled over and over through his thoughts. Nameless, faceless enemies had died at his hand and he'd felt regret but not like this. In this instance, his former captain wasn't some anonymous soldier and there was no doubt about who was responsible. Archer was insane, but not some subhuman thing. And he was down with no weapon to defend himself with. This feeling that what he'd done wasn't right seeped into every part of him. He felt as if he wasn't human anymore. He'd told T'Pol he needed to face the consequences of his actions, overcome it, it was the price he had to pay, and he still believed that. But knowing and doing were very different. And those cold, dead eyes were piercing back at him from the depths of his soul chanting 'they made a murderer out of you.' His mind cleared for a few seconds and the assault started anew.

Sensing his reluctance and her own lack of clarity as to what had taken place earlier T'Pol relented and instead brushed her hand down the length of his arm slowly to heighten their connection. Her eyes drifted shut just as her mate's eyes met hers. He used all the strength he had left to make it appear that her touch was alleviating some of his discomfort.

**A/N: Thanks to all of you that have been responsible for sudden large increase of the alerts on my stories. I appreciate your interest and since so few of you leave reviews it lets me know you're reading and keeps aware that I need to post new chapters on as regular a basis as I can. Thanks again.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**Correcting Anomalies That May Have Caused Optic Nerve Hypoplasia (RU)**

**Thereby Increasing Visual Acuity and Visual Fields**

**(Part 2 of 2)**

"T'Pol stop it right now. You are not going to distract me." Slapping her hands away, "Answer the question." His firm grip was an attempt to get her to stop her assault on his chest and answer him. His brain was firing in several different directions and all of them were making it difficult to think. When did T'Pol start using his own body against him and in such an obvious way?

Breaking her hands free she returned them to their previous location. "I do not understand why you believe I had anything to do with your parents 'change in attitude'."

He involuntarily tried to wriggle free as she was making him crazy and while he was unable to penetrate her shielding he could feel her determination. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that when I left the room my parents were both on me about religion and going against my upbringing but when I returned they'd suddenly done a total 180 degree turn around." His hand went to her chin to lift her eyes to meet his own. "You said something to them and it made an impression. I'd just like to know what it was because Lizzie is the only one who has ever been able to get through to them like that."

Holding his gaze she explained. "I may have implied that if they continued with their current behavior that they were risking the loss of both their sons from their lives. If you are unable to forge some kind of relationship with them then it is highly unlikely that your brother would ever attempt to reconcile with them. They may have perceived an implication. . ." she went quiet for a second studying his face so she wouldn't miss the slightest reaction from him. "I may have implied that if they did not refrain from inflicting pain on you that I would insist you cease all contact with them." In their discussions of his parents Trip had left her with the impression that he would, albeit reluctantly, break all contact if they were unable to find some way to be a family without all the discord.

Grabbing her hands more forcefully, "Stop whatever it is you're trying to do here and talk to me." He checked himself knowing his frustration wasn't directed at her. His face and voice both softened as he released his breathe and followed that by releasing some of the tension he was holding onto. "You actually told them they were causing me pain?" Her hands were once again free, ignoring his reproval, not stopping, in fact, they were moving more stealthily evading his attempts to grasp them. It was then that the firmness against his right deltoids registered and then that the opposite muscle set also became pinned in the corner leaving him no way to escape.

"It seemed to be the only course of action to ensure they were convinced of my sincerity." T'Pol heard his words. . .he said stop. . .but the rest of his thoughts and his body were speaking a whole different language.

What she'd said to his parents exactly he didn't know. The surface thoughts breaking though told him it was more involved than she let on, there were details she was omitting and for some reason she had become almost solely focused on alleviating his stress level since before his parents arrived. "And they believed you had that kind of influence over me that you'd insist and I'd do what you asked."

"Yes." Her reply was simple. She understood that they may be obstinate but they weren't blind and she had read his letters to them. He'd described his time aboard Enterprise and then recounted a modified version of their relationship. They heard about Malcolm, Hoshi, and Jon but mostly they heard stories about her. . ..them. Anyone who read those letters would understand exactly what Trip's reaction would be to such a request.

"You're pretty sure of yourself." His hands dropped, giving in to her and his upper body leaned forward enough for his lips to make contact with hers.

He heard her reply in his head. _"Not anymore sure than you are of me."_

Pulling back slightly he let her know how much he appreciated her support. "Thank you. I probably wouldn't have mentioned them causing me pain but I would have threatened them eventually. But by then I would have been so angry that they wouldn't have taken it as seriously." They not only heard what she had to say but must have actually listened. T'Pol was invested in the outcome but was still seen as an outsider by his Mom and Dad so maybe her words had more of an impact than his would have. Lizzie had some insight into their parents that John and Trip lacked. Perhaps T'Pol had the same insight. He'd have said it was feminine instinct except that his remaining sister was as clueless as her brothers when it came to appeasing their parents and had fled to Ireland. He felt lucky to have had two such strong, self possessed women in his life who were willing to use whatever that innate gift was on his behalf. Relief at the thought that once again his parents were going to be sharing the burden of making this work and shouldering some of the emotional turmoil until they each learned how to operate with these new boundaries washed over him as he held his mate close.

* * *

"Hoshi, slow down. When did you get back?" Trip hadn't understood a word she said only recognized her voice. Somehow he could feel her pacing as she spoke.

She ignored his question and jumped immediately to the purpose for her call. "Have you talked to Malcolm?"

"Yeah, he left me a message last night. He was going out for a while." Trip reran the message in his head. "Actually he was supposed to be in touch this morning."

Slight fear and concern came through with her words. "If you don't know where he is he's missing. No one has seen him since he had dinner at the hotel last night." Hoshi continued searching through their room.

Trip heard drawers being opened and slammed shut again. "His phaser is still here in the bedside table. His comm unit and ID are still here on the dresser." Hoshi found his uniform hanging in the closet alongside hers.

At her words Trip felt the worry invade his mind. Malcolm seldom separated his security side from his personal life and was slightly off kilter whenever they were on any planet and would never leave his room without his weapon and communicator. "And you checked with the desk? He might have left you a message."

"No messages. Did he say where he was going when he went out?"

Trip knew he'd run into a couple of old associates from his spy days and was thinking about meeting up with them again but Malcolm hadn't told Hoshi about those days yet and Trip would not tell anyone except of course T'Pol. Malcolm wasn't even surprised when Trip informed him that he didn't keep secrets from T'Pol, which meant he might want to remember that whenever they talked. In fact, Malcolm gave him a look that said he understood and asked 'is it that you don't keep secrets or that you can't?' To which Trip replied that he could keep things from her but he didn't find a need to. Trip was even more aware now that Malcolm had a far better understanding of the connection he shared with T'Pol than even those they'd imparted with the knowledge.

"He just said he was going out." That was true but the engineer knew from his Academy days what bars the covert types might be hanging out in.

"I'm going to contact the Captain and have him notify Starfleet Security. They'll have his biosigns on file and can locate him that way."

Trip tried to keep any concern out of his voice. "Let me look for him first. I wouldn't want to stir things up if he's just sleeping one off somewhere." Starfleet wouldn't be happy if an officer went off and did what Trip feared Malcolm had done.

"You just said you didn't know where he went so how would you know where to look?" Hoshi got the distinct impression Trip was hiding something from her.

"He and I have talked about our younger days here and the places that the cadets hang out haven't changed much and I still have some connections that will fill me in on any new hotspots." Hoshi had spoken of her days as a recruit in training also and he knew she'd spent most of her free time on Starfleet grounds with her clandestine poker games. Trip always felt guilty that he knew more of their past than they did of his. He'd not shared much about his past with anyone but T'Pol. Malcolm knew large, disjointed pieces of his life. Jon knew a little about his youth but their friendship was based on their time together since they started out trying to get the warp program up and running free of the Vulcans's influence.

"I'll come with you." Hoshi needed to do something.

Trip jerked back to reality and quickly clamped down tightly on his reactions, needing to keep from arousing the ever perceptive Hoshi's suspicions anymore than he probably already had. "Wouldn't it be better if you stayed at the hotel in case he comes back? That way you can let me know you found him." Thankfully these types of dilemmas didn't come up often because Trip Tucker hated it. Hoshi trusted him and he knew this wasn't lying per se but he wasn't telling her the whole truth and that made him feel like a sleaze. Hoshi was a friend but in his hierarchy of friendship T'Pol and Malcolm were at the top and that meant he'd do whatever they asked of him even at the expense of another friend. He knew that Hoshi would never accept that as a valid excuse for keeping things from her but all that mattered now was that T'Pol would accept it even if she disagreed with him and that he needed to find Mal.

A dozen bars and twice that many 'never seen him' replies from the bartenders and wait staff were making Trip edgy. "Let's get something to eat and decide where else we need to look," suggested T'Pol as she tried steering him to a nearby café.

"I can't eat right now." If Malcolm was out there in trouble somewhere he would be depending on Trip and T'Pol to find him. "I knew he was upset about Hoshi going to see his parents but. . .you know how he gets." He'd been too wrapped up in his own problems to really see that Malcolm was headed down that road again.

"Do you think he's with the men from his past life?"

T'Pol didn't query beyond his those thoughts that flitted through their shared consciousness whenever it became apparent that they concerned something between the two friends but she did know the basics of Reed's past with Section 31, but Trip had let her know that Reed's involvement with the whole spy business was a reaction to his father's need to control his future by trying to exert influence over Malcolm's assignments. The young man wanted to escape and found a branch of service where his father's influence could not reach him as Harris wouldn't have even acknowledged to the elder Reed that his son was serving under him. Unfortunately, it turned out that while the Brit had the skills and adeptness, he'd learned early on how to present an acceptable version of himself to the world while keeping his true self hidden out of self preservation. But when it came to fulfilling his duty he did not have the ability to set aside his conscience and twist his morals to serve the greater good as his superiors insisted he must.

"They invited him to go to their 'unofficial training camp'. At first he said he wasn't interested. Something about not wanting to get caught up in that world again." But Trip knew that Malcolm might see the physical exertion as a way to alleviate some of the frustration he's been bottling up. Malcolm's coping mechanisms all involved weapons or some extensive physical exertion.

T'Pol understood his thoughts and added her own concern to that of her mate. "Is he so unable to function without Hoshi for a few days that he would become so reckless or are he and Hoshi having problems that I am unaware of?" If there were issues between the couple T'Pol knew that Trip would be the only one Reed would confide in.

Trip thought of how he would react if it had been T'Pol that was off seeing his parents for a few days. He wouldn't let her go alone so it wouldn't ever happen this way but if she had gone off on her own it would have been difficult for him but then they had the bond to keep them connected. Malcolm who'd lived a solitary life before Enterprise had changed since. He didn't make friends easily but he no longer sought solitude. Instead he preferred to spend his time with Trip, T'Pol, and Hoshi. "I think at first he tried to tell her she couldn't go see his parents and knowing Hoshi that would just make her more determined to do it. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen." The same thing had happened when he and Hayes clashed. He'd gotten so caught up in his own head that he let their disagreements and rivalry get out of hand, and then because he'd stuffed so much anxiety and anger about the Xindi attack and the constant danger to the crew, it all blew up like a powder keg. He and Malcolm were alike in that respect, except Trip turned it all inward.

"I thought he asked her not to go when she first mentioned going on her own." T'Pol was having difficulty understanding the dynamic between the couple. If she and Trip didn't have their bond would they still be having such frequent problems with miscommunication after all this time? She reasoned that there might be more issues, as they had some even with the bond, but they were both learning how to talk to one another. Perhaps Malcolm and Hoshi were not.

"No, first he kind of ordered and when that didn't work he offered to take her anywhere she wanted to go but Malaysia. He never just asked her not to go." Sometimes that stubborn Reed attitude that Trip was sure he'd learned from his father came forth at the worst times.

* * *

Trip blocked out the sounds and smells, surveying the room deciding where to continue asking after Malcolm. The air had a crispness to it and the little hairs on his arms were raised.

"You need to leave the premises now." The young man had come out of nowhere planting a fist in Trip's ribs, drilling it into him, pinning him to the post behind them. "You and your questions are not welcomed here."

T'Pol set the drinks she had obtained on the first unoccupied table she passed. From across the room she tried to gain the young man's attention. "I suggest you remove your hands from my friend." The Vulcan officer was confident that they were surrounded by Starfleet personnel. And judging by the way most carried themselves, that look in their eyes and that swagger in their step, the one that said they held secrets, were the first to know of possible future events and many other things unknown to the rest of their race, they were all assigned to Section 31. Wishing only to extricate them from this with as few injuries as possible she silently suggested Trip let her handle this.

"I'd listen if I were you." Trip warned. He considered his male pride for half a second before deciding she was the only one he wished to impress but that was unnecessary where his mate was concerned and it would be unexpected that a woman could overpower this obviously well conditioned guy. And besides he could feel all that she was working hard to shut out of her thoughts and her effort to suppress her emotions and her fierce need to protect. It shouldn't but he couldn't stop thinking how much fun it would be to watch T'Pol bounce this guy around the room a couple of times. He heard her break through his mental chatter and again implore him to let her handle this and prevent a bar fight that would only serve to keep them from finding Malcolm and risk their being thrown in the brig for the night if things got out of hand. He saw through her logic, smiled, then mentally gave her the all clear to proceed, letting her know that he'd let her be unless anyone laid a hand on her.

Trip drew in several deep breathes. She was right they needed to keep their cool.

"You really expect that I'm gonna be afraid of a woman?" The young man asked with smugness, so sure of himself, his chest becoming inflated as he assessed T'Pol's fitness and size.

Trip chuckled lightly more to himself than anything. "You've stepped on a hornets nest and you don't even know it. That isn't just any woman. That is the woman who has. . ." He'd almost said she had pledged to keep him safe but he couldn't let his ego get the better of him. ". . .just remember I warned you." He should have been too macho to let this continue but he took pride in the fact that T'Pol could wipe the floor with all of them. And that he enjoyed the thought of her doing that for him. His was suddenly inundated with a series of gentle mental slaps. _"Okay T'Pol stop. He has my full attention." _He really did need to focus. For a split second he considered mentioning that she was Vulcan but then the thought that the surprise of what was coming was well deserved so made him reconsider.

"Some tough guy you are bragging about hiding behind a woman. Aren't you afraid she'll see how much of a coward you are and just leave you here?" As several more of the bar's occupants began moving, placing themselves between the assailant and T'Pol, Trip's level of comfort dipped slightly but he kept up his bravado.

Breaking out into a full laugh Trip taunted his young assailant. "You know what they say it makes you when you assume something. And after that last remark about my manhood I'm so going to enjoy watching her take you apart." Now he was just pissed that this guy just assumed that because she was a woman she was weak and that he was a coward because he allowed her to defend him. Trip visualized his scenario with the hornets then had them morph into these men when he heard T'Pol's questioning about how his analogy fit their current circumstances. He was shaken from his internal dialogue when the young man pressed his hands harder into his chest.

"I'm only going to say this one more time. Remove your hands from my mate." T'Pol hadn't moved and they could not see her through the line of bodies that were now between them so all they got was the sound of her raised voice.

"Your mate?" Came the question from the crowd now gathered about. But there was no reply as T'Pol's instinct's took over and his time ran out.

Trip smiled to himself as he watched the bodies hitting the floor on either side of his assailant. Then watched as the fingers released his shirt and the man's chest lifted up into the air, pausing for a split second before his body began the long flight to the opposite wall. The air held a new tinge of fear as both he and T'Pol stepped to the ready waiting to see if anyone else wished to take up the fight. The surprised expressions remained as everyone took in their stances. No one moved.

Trip muttered under his breath so only T'Pol could hear. "I swear when I get my hands on Malcolm if he's not dead I'm going to kill him myself. And we're definitely going to rethink the whole visiting Earth for R and R idea." This was supposed to be the place where he felt he belonged but every time he came 'home' there was some incident that marred this ideal and made him want nothing more than to return to space.

"Stand down lieutenant." A voice ordered from the behind the couple.

Trip turned and studied the new arrival whose finger was pointed at the young man who was just attempting to stand. Whoever he was he exuded authority and every person in the room was transfixed.

"Sorry Commanders. It seems the youngsters here have been derelict in their duty and have not kept up on current events." Looking at the occupants of the room squarely he continued, "Which is a sad state of affairs for those of us who are charged with being in the know about such things." He'd definitely have to have a serious discussion with his team leaders and demand to know how it is any of their personnel failed to recognize these two after the whole world had been glued to the wall to wall coverage of the Paxton debacle.

Trip could see this was a genuine apology. "Apology accepted. We aren't here in an official capacity we were simply trying to locate a friend. It was suggested that he may have stopped by here last night." Trip handed him the picture he'd been showing around.

Without even looking he responded, pushing the picture back at Trip. "You're looking for Reed. He was here. He left with a bunch of his previous acquaintances." The colonel caught the look that said Tucker had suspected that was the case but had hoped it wasn't true.

"Do you know where it is they might have gone? Malcolm mentioned there was a. . ."

The man didn't let him finish, he stopped him by handing Trip a slip of paper. "Check here. It would be best if you waited until dark and then I suggest you forgot this place and that address once you find him."

Trip lifted his hands as if surrendering. "Like I said we just want to find our friend."

The officer turned to T'Pol. "Thank you Commander T'Pol for your restraint."

"My only objective was to extricate Commander Tucker from his unfortunate circumstances."

"Believe me I understand but you had many options open to you for achieving that objective and you chose the one that caused the least amount of harm."

"I am not all that altruistic. The only one I wished to avoid being harmed. . ."

His hand went up and he motioned to the lieutenant who was now fully aware of his mistake. "No need to explain. The lieutenant was clearly wrong and is in need of some serious retraining. The first lesson being that he needs to know who his adversaries are before engaging them and then there's the problem with you both being Starfleet." Her ears were not visible but Commander T'Pol was a well known member of Starfleet and that fact and the fact that she was Vulcan should have alerted his team to avoid any and all conflicts with this pair. All members of Section 31 were aware of the connection between the Commander's and Vulcan for obvious reasons and even though no human, with the exception of Charles Tucker III, understood the full meaning of being mated to a Vulcan they did know enough about Vulcan society that every member of his team should have known better than to corner and threaten either of them.

"I trust you will handle the situation with the proper amount of retraining and discipline." T'Pol let Trip take her hand as he led them off the premises.

* * *

Trip pulled against T'Pol's guiding hand as he sent an acknowledgment back to Soval letting him know he'd received his message and that he appreciated him seeing his parents off. They hadn't been happy that he was abandoning them but they said they understood why he felt it necessary to find Malcolm. He let out a deep breath at the realization that he actually thought they did understand. That they understood and accepted that he had found a family of sorts on Enterprise and that one of them was possibly in trouble so he had to do whatever he could to help him. He felt a tug at his arm again and resisted.

"T'Pol where are you taking me?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. We have to wait until the sun goes down and we need to rest, maybe meditate some." They'd walked miles today and his head hurt.

"You are in need of sustenance and rest."

'Extricate, sustenance.' "What is it with you and the ten dollar vocabulary?"

"We've discussed this before. I unconsciously fall back on my Vulcan training when I must approach a situation with total logic, suppressing all emotions. In public the Vulcan language is very formal so that is a more natural way for me to speak. Use of a more casual human vernacular requires me to consider my words before I speak." Progress had been made with her being much more relaxed with the crew of Enterprise and even with some of the personnel at Starfleet Headquarters but being amongst her own people required a separation of herself. Allowances were made for her bondmate but Soval was the only one who made those same allowances for her.

As he deciphered what she said he saw clearly that she was having difficulty because she hadn't been able to suppress all her emotions. In the past when it became necessary to block all else out to let herself become detached from that part of her being to allow the ultra rational side of her brain to take over it had all happened without a thought, out of habit. Trip felt the uncertainty and doubts at her effectiveness if she could not be totally objective. He didn't know how to help her he only knew that this wasn't one of those it's going to be alright kind of moments. "So where exactly are you taking me to get food and rest." For now he'd help by not interfering in whatever it was she was distracting him. . .no them with.

He knew the answer the minute his nose picked up the faint smell of wood, smoke, and barbeque. "You remembered."

"Of course. You have mentioned this sauce almost as often as you have pecan pie or catfish. I still do not understand your reluctance to ask Chef to prepare a similar meal."

"Because these are the best and there is no substitute that would be anywhere near as good." He took another deep whiff of the smoke filled air. "You don't like meat so why bring me here?"

"I know you have refrained from eating meat to please me but you still like it. Meat may not be part of my dietary requirements but I do enjoy watching you enjoy things so I will have their world famous coleslaw and some of those biscuits with honey you've told me of and you will order that ridiculously large plate of ribs."

"So you're encouraging me to eat meat because it makes me happy?" He knew she wouldn't answer, she'd push the emotions away and concentrate on his feelings of happiness. Living and feeling vicariously through him. At first it made him feel slightly sad that she only experienced certain emotions this way but now he saw it as more than most Vulcans were allowed to feel. But then most Vulcans weren't bonded to a human who was capable of handling all but the most intense of a Vulcan's emotions and could act as a buffer for her.

The tug on his arm jolted him back to reality and T'Pol searching out a place to sit. The corner she'd chosen was isolated and dark for the time of day. The candles on the tables gave it a relaxed, romantic feel, which seemed to be what she was after. She slid in next to him instead of sitting across from him as she usually did when they shared meals in public. Her fingers had remained intertwined with his. He felt his kehr-ozh and rehr-ozh were now being manipulated into position for the ozh'esta sending a stream of sensation up his arm.

He studied her more closely seeing the effort she was putting forth to please him. He'd waited long enough for her to volunteer what it was she was afraid of. "Are you going to tell me why you've been so attentive to my needs lately? Not that I don't appreciate the attention but I just keep feeling like you're being extra nice to me and I'm not sure why. What are you so worried about?"

"Vulcans do not worry."

Her standard answer so he knew she was full of it. "I don't know which word to use then. . ." Words started floating into his consciousness. 'Concerned, anxious, troubled, uneasy, disturbed' ". . .okay stop with the thesaurus. I got it."

"Is it not acceptable for one to wish to please her mate?"

"I said I appreciate it but there's something off here and you need to tell me what it is." Maybe she'd tapped into his fantasies but they had both decided what areas of their respective minds were off limits to the other and that was one of his. She had explained that it was possible to search his mind without his knowledge. When she taught him how to do the same the scientist in her explained the need to test the boundaries of the bond. But he also understood that to her logical nature it would reestablish a balance and strengthen the trust between them.

"When we were on Vulcan even though it was difficult for you I have very good memories of our time in my home. I only wish to ensure you have the same kind of memories of your home. You said you wished to start our vacation when your parents left." Vacations were a human concept. Vulcans took time away, most often they spent time in quiet reflection or to accommodate the Pon Farr but T'Pol understood that her human mate required time to purge his emotional baggage and clear his mind and that for him meant mixing activity with periods of quiet.

This was a valid concern but he also knew this wasn't the main concern but she wasn't going to discuss it with him until she was ready. "You don't need to do anything special to accomplish that. We could have laid on the grass in the park together and I'd have been happy. Actually the way our luck goes when we come back here the park might have been the best choice." At least he hadn't been the one to cause the trouble this time. But that line of thought only lead to worrying about Mal and there was time for that once they headed out to go find him. For now he needed to enjoy some time with his mate but he wanted her to enjoy it also.

Home. His mate was trying to rebuild his feelings about Earth but she didn't know that Earth wasn't home. The erosion started when Enterprise broke free of Earth's atmosphere on that first mission. That wonder he felt then was now accompanied by his having seen too much, experienced too much to not want to be out there somewhere. The final collapse of his attachment to Earth occurred when his hometown was obliterated by the Xindi. Home for Trip Tucker was no longer a physical place it was more of a feeling that he carried inside himself after so many years in space and with T'Pol. Home and T'Pol came together almost as one thought, that thought was closely followed by an all encompassing feeling of calm.

"You have to trust that I learned my lesson the last time." A tiny voice whispered from some unknown place inside that this could be the way things were supposed to work so why did that thought make him so nervous. His lack of experience with relationships that lasted more than a few months left him with no comparison.

The concern lessened as he made the decision to go along with her attempts give him something good to remember about his home world and leaned back into the booth letting his head rest against the wall listening to the rich tone and timbre of her soprano voice. The words held no significance as the balm of her distinctive cadence smoothed over the sensitive areas in his mind. This was heaven to him. The moments he cherished above all others. The moments when there was no one, nothing beyond right here and right now. The rest of the world ceased to exist for them both. They fell into some special place and she enveloped him and gently urged him to release everything, good and bad, into her care. He used to fear the intensity of this intimacy but no longer. This really is how they were supposed to work. Anyone who was watching would have seen his body become unstrained and his muscles loose their tautness the moment it happened. The moment he released all control, focused on the woodsy tang in the air and one sound . . . and let go of it all.

* * *

The alarm sounded the moment sensors picked up Malcolm's biosigns. The displays showed no signs of life in any direction for miles. With the moon behind the clouds there was no visible light, except the lone building surrounded by plant life that shielded it from view at ground level.

The vibration of the shuttle's engines told him their direction was changing. The maneuver was completed pointing them in the opposite direction before he could question why. The blip appeared on the screen leading him to look out the starboard view port. The bloodied body, unmistakably unconscious Malcolm lying out on a slab of cement in the field came into his sight-line.

The ramp extended down less than half way before he jumped out. "We need the med kit," he yelled as he bent down to check the extent of his injuries and for broken bones.

"Be sure he has no neck or back injuries before you move him." T'Pol saw how difficult that would be with the multitude of injuries she could see. Leaving a clear picture of what they would find hidden under his clothing.

"Did you bring the medical scanner?" Not trusting his own knowledge of what to look for. His first aid courses had been years ago but being the chief engineer on a starship required him to use first aid knowledge often but things had been quiet lately so he was a bit out of practice.

T'Pol ran the scanner over his frame. "He has contusions. . ." Everywhere. There were small areas of normally colored skin but the bruising had turned his complexion to varying shades of green and purple.

"I can see. What about more serious injuries?" If he's escaped with no broken bones Trip didn't see how.

"He has several cracked ribs and his right hand is broken." There were defensive wounds on his hands and arms and deeply bruised tissue wherever she looked. The markings on his torso indicated he'd been kicked repeatedly with boots or rather large shoes. Whomever was responsible for this beating had caused enough damage to ensure Malcolm never forgot but restrained themselves enough to prevent any permanent damage.

"Something tells me Malcolm just finished his exit debriefing from Section 31." There were varying levels of initiation when a new batch of recruits arrived and security and covert ops were known to be a bit more enthusiastic with their rituals. But this was far beyond anything Trip had heard being talked about. All he could hope was that this meant Malcolm was finally free of Harris.

"He needs a doctor." The scanner showed indication of internal damage but T'Pol was not experienced enough to be positive of the extent of that damage and what treatment would be needed.

"Take me to the bar." He'd see if anyone there could recommend a doctor who wouldn't get word back to Jon or the brass at Starfleet.

His movement stopped his senses on alert as he'd decided to tune into the empathic perception he often blocked out so as to avoid intruding too much on the inner life of those around him. He also found it distracting in crowds. Too many conflicting emotions or the worse situation when everyone was in the same state of mind. As bad as the onslaught of swarming emotional static was for him he now understood it was worse for T'Pol or any Vulcan. He had the experience of learning how to block out extraneous noise both internally and externally. His life; as well as; the crews depended on it. Vulcans strove to establish and maintain a stable environment avoiding any significant emotional fluctuations. The jittery feeling he had let him know the atmosphere did not encourage outsiders from looked for familiar faces he recognized from earlier hoping to avoid any trouble.

Several cadets suddenly appeared surrounding him. "You should find another bar."

No greeting. . . just get out. His emotions had been pulled in every direction this day and his mood was beginning to reflect the drain on his energy level. He pulled back internally slightly to check his temper. He released his clenched fists to alleviate some of the tension at having to deal with this "Look I just need to find someone that recognizes me from earlier today. Once I find the guy I'm looking for I'm out of here."

"We're not the lost and found." The obvious leader of the pack pushed to the front.

Just as Trip felt his anger rising he felt her presence. He turned to the door where T'Pol stood. Hair neatly tucked behind her ears she moved towards Trip, eyes glued to his chest. "Commander Tucker we have no time for this."

The sea parted. Trip smiled. "Don't blame me. I've had a really long day and it's looking like it's never going to end but I tried to be polite and introduce myself but they seem set on tossing me out."

"_I assume you've turned on that southern charm because you have a plan?" _She asked through the bond.

"_It's a work in progress but I was hoping to buy a couple of minutes so you could help me. I really wanted to hit him but then I really don't want to spend the rest of our leave time in a medical bay with Malcolm."_ It would have felt so good to just let loose on him and in younger days he might have been cocky enough to consider it but not anymore.

Trip turned back to the crowd that was standing around them. "Commander T'Pol and I were here earlier and we talked to an officer. We need to speak to him if anyone here knows who I'm talking about could you contact that officer for me?"

The bodies moved back several feet as she stepped next to him he continued their internal dialogue using some of that charm on her. _"You really have to stop being my white knight. It's making me look bad."_

"_Would you rather I let you get beat up? It might not be so bad laying there listening to Malcolm whine and complain during the physical therapy he will require to rehabilitate himself."_

Trip smiled remembering how impossible Mal had been after that Romulan mine speared his leg and Phlox put him through those exercises to get it back in shape. _"Okay, point taken. My ego can handle a little bruising." _

A hand poked through the bodies with a comm unit then a voice followed. "It's for you Commander Tucker."

"This is Tucker."

"You asked to speak to me."

"Is this a secure line?" That was a dumb question he was a spy, of course it was a secure transmission.

"If you didn't think it was you wouldn't be about to tell me what it is I can I help you with Commander?"

"We need a medic or doctor who operates outside Starfleet." Trip had no doubt that the voice at the other end of the line knew what had happened with Malcolm.

"Do you need someone to fix up the normal bar fight cuts and bruises or someone with a bit more experience?"

"The one with the most experience." Even then Malcolm was going to face a very inquisitive Captain Archer. There wasn't any way to heal his wounds in a week so Malcolm needed to get as healthy as he could before he returned to duty.

"The bartender will give you an address. Tell the man who answers the door that 'Felix is good for it' and he'll do what he can for your friend and then he'll give you whatever you need to take care of him."

"Thanks."

"Commander a word of advice. I'd make sure you and all your crewmates stay clear. . ."

"Yeah I've got it. We all need to wipe anything to do with you out of the memory banks. No problem, we're leaving for good this time." Trip felt T'Pol grasp his free hand as he handed the comm unit to person nearest him and headed to the door.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**Vergence Disorder (MU)**

**Refers to the eyes' ability to turn either inward (convergence) or outward (divergence)**

**(Part 1 of 2)**

**A/N: I'm giving this chapter a very hard R or T++. There a short section of the scene where T'Pol is looking for Tucker that goes beyond implication/fading to black. It is rough, consensual but not graphic but still pushes the line but I feel it has not gone outside the boundaries into NC-17/M. Others may disagree with me and act accordingly (Admins – rate this chapter as you see it).**

Tucker tucked the covers around her before he left. Mickey and Vorack ignored his insistence that this was not the best time. Equally as adamant that it was vital that he return to the station. He had two missions for the evening. The first was to meet with a group of traders who had been brought to the ship to meet with Nim to negotiate deals for several cloaking devices and for the future needs of the Resistance. With Nim only allowed to leave the brig to make the arrangements and T'Pol restricted from duty it fell to Tucker to impress them and finalize the arrangements. His second mission was to spend some social time mingling with the crew who were enjoying the many recreational activities the station offered.

The deals had been finalized the obviously uncomfortable Tucker sat, tapping his fingers on the tabletop, with Mickey at the next to last bar watching the crew milling about and exchanging meaningless chit chat with those who stopped by their table. Several of the 'hostesses', as he politely referred to them, had stopped by with some pretty sad attempts to interest Tucker in their services but he refused to even acknowledge their presence for fear they'd hang around and keep trying. Mickey had tried to run interference but had been taken out of action when at Tucker's insistence he accepted an invitation from a very persistent Rigelian. The officer ignored the attentions, at first, but Tucker really needed to be alone and took pity on the head of security knowing it could be months before they visited another planet or station. And being on the senior staff meant Mickey had to oversee the security concerns for the entire fleet and protect Tucker and T'Pol. Their protection had become a fulltime job since as fleet commanders they were often not on Defiant and required extra protection even when called away to other ships in the fleet. He needed the break so Tucker ordered him to go. As he left Tucker clasped his hands tightly together to stop them shaking and was thankful that T'Pol wasn't here with him.

Having decided to move on to the last stop of the evening Tucker headed out to locate the bar. He'd get a drink, make quick work of speaking to each of the crew he came across and get back to the ship.

"Can we get you anything?" The young female inquired.

"I'd like..." What was that drink Mickey had ordered for him? "...there's this drink that is blue and fizzy. It taste like..." Beer, what humans called beer but then he knew they wouldn't know what that was much less what it tasted like. It had taken hours to find something that resembled coffee to replenish the ships supply until they figured out how to speed up the growth of the beans in the hydroponics garden and then learned how to roast them properly.

"We have two blue drinks. I'll bring both and you can decide if one of them is what you're looking for."

Tucker was contemplating the taste test when several of the crew came over. "Commander, what are you doing over here all by yourself? Come join us."

"I'll stop by in a minute." Tucker stood scanning the room for the hostess who went to get his much needed drink. A commotion caught his attention but no crewmen from the fleet were involved and tonight he was in no mood to be a Good Samaritan so went back to locating the hostess.

She returned handed him the drinks and left. He sipped the first, thinking it was not the drink he'd had before but was drinkable, The second one was sour so he placed it on the table before going to join the crew, who were all intently watching several dancers on the podium near their table. Tucker found a chair and pulled it up to the next table and sat. He watched the dancers for a short time but couldn't decide if they were male, female or something in between and lost interest.

"If you see a dancer you like just signal her and if she's free she'll move to this podium." A being he took for the proprietor offered.

"That's alright. I'm fine." He wasn't fine his thoughts hadn't slowed down. He needed something to distract him for a little bit but this wasn't it. Sitting here watching the crew watch dancers was worst than sitting alone.

Several of the dancers appeared and began pushing in closer to him. "See anything you like?"

Touches on his arm, his aching head, his heart beat quickening, his inability to take a full breath shook him and in reaction he turned and abruptly yelled, "I'm not interested. Just leave me alone." His hands went up to forcibly push them all away as his feet began moving seemingly of their own accord.

Having reached an open area he dug deep to find some calm. "Commander Tucker." His comm sounded.

Focus. Focus. "This is Tucker."

"Commander we have a bit of a situation on the station. It seems several of the crew has disappeared since the last scan and we've been unable to reach Mickey."

"Keep trying Mickey he'll be along soon I'm sure. You said crew disappeared. From where?"

"Various locations. Their comm badges are no longer operational and without them we have no way of finding them."

"Contact Mickey. Have him meet me at Kendor's." The Coridan trader would know where to look. Tucker stepped out into the corridor to find the security officer talking rapidly to his crew on his comm but heading his way.

"That was fast." He'd been gone what three quarters of an hour?

"What? It was business not some romantic, long drawn out seduction."

The engineer had never approached sex as business but he supposed it hadn't been about seduction or romance. "Well, your timing is perfect. We're going to need help to find our crew."

Mickey had warned them all to be careful but there was always the possibility of things like this happening. No way to protect his crew when they were relaxing and let their guard down. Security teams had been dispatched to keep an eye out for trouble, but there were private areas they were not allowed in.

Walking down the corridor Tucker listened to the group behind him. 'I told you he wouldn't be interested but you had to encourage them. She's a Vulcan have you ever seen what they can do with their bare hands. He'd be a fool to cheat on her.' Another returned, 'Like you said she's a Vulcan you know how cold and unemotional they are and when I was on Avenger I saw how physical the humans were. He's going to be interested at some point. . .right. . .can't go without for too long or he'll. . .'

Tucker stopped and turned the pressure building inside again. A sheen of sweat had begun to appear on his face and neck. "Is this all you ever talk about or am I just lucky enough to be present every time you develop this concern over my sex life?"

"No, sir. Sorry sir." Several of the crewman stammered out while moving away from Tucker who was now so close he was looming over them.

Mickey saw the teetering emotions of his superior and instinctively went about attempting to diffuse the situation. "Commander you have to forgive them. Even though you have never given them any reason to think it acceptable they continue to speculate about their commanding officers private life."

The security officer had forced his body between Tucker and offending crewmen. Tucker clamped down on his anger berating himself for letting it get way too out of control for the circumstances. "Get them out of my sight." Mickey watched Tucker walk away studying his movements.

Tucker was too far away so he turned his attention back to the crewman. "Well, I don't think we'll have to worry about this happening again because if I ever hear any of you talking like that again you'll all know first hand what a Vulcan can do with her bare hands because I'll inform his mate of the total disrespect and crudeness you've continually exhibited towards both of your fleet commanders and then I'll encourage her to deal with you in any manner she sees fit. And once she's done I'll charge each of you with betraying their oath to this crew and the Resistance." By the time he finished with the crew Tucker was out of sight and Mickey was worried. He'd seen what happened when Tucker became overwhelmed with rage.

The Defiant crew had barely made it through the door before Kendor began trying to smooth things over. "I'm sorry Commander Tucker. We designated your crew off limits to our less savory residents but there are always those that believe they are not subject to our rules."

"Well, you did a bang up job." Tucker thundered across to a chair.

"Kendor, the ship left with full cargo bays." A being Tucker didn't recognize poked in to say.

"Was a tracking beacon attached to their hull upon entry?" Mickey questioned.

"Yes."

Another of Kendor's men handed Mickey a device. "The signal will transmit for several light-years. Adjust your sensors to the same frequency and you will have no problem following them."

Negotiations had been finalized of so tucker had thought. "Before we can do business here you need to do something to ensure the safety of our personnel on this station. If these slavers had gone through normal procedures when they departed your tracker would have been removed and then where would we be?" They'd be chasing warp signatures and ghosts trying to recover their kidnapped crew.

Mickey watched as Tucker left without saying another word, walking down the corridor opening and closing the fingers on one hand. "We'll be in touch as soon as we've laid this all out to the leadership", he informed Kendor. "Once you start to hear from our ships you will have to show that you've increased security and are doing all you can to prevent this type of activity in the future. If you require our assistance contact Tucker. I'd wait for a week or so before you do that just to give us time to find our crew and give him time to cool down."

{}

Commander T'Pol entered the holodeck. "Lt. Nimbus you failed the test again. Perhaps we need to add some incentive." She watched for any reaction but only saw a sly look pass through his eyes. "Computer engage training program Alpha 1, weapons set to the lowest stun and incrementally increased after each round until the safety level is reached for a Ferengi subject." The safety level up till now had been set to the lowest possible stun setting through the whole exercise but now it had been set to prevent the program from rendering the subject unconscious and to prevent stuns that would cause have any long term effects. T'Pol had honored her word thus far and not injured the supply officer but having spent hours, recalibrating the program and rewriting the code, on this training, she was done. Her patience was at an end.

The Ferengi stood up straighter at that. "From this point forward the computer will simulate actual weapons fire and will increase the stun setting each time you fail. Computer, upon my exit, lock down this holodeck until the Lieutenant has completed the training with an acceptable score."

"You can't do this." Nimbus shouted to her back as he watched her fingers entering the authorization code.

"Watch me." She retorted as the door closed behind her.

The compromise was reached with Tucker and Mickey concerning the Ferengi after she went after him the second time for shooting her mate. She promised not to do any permanent damage or alienate him so that he requested a transfer to another ship or left the fleet altogether. His skills were too valuable so her duty as a fleet officer and Tucker had prevailed in the end. Walking away she felt at peace. There would be no permanent damage, but the Ferengi would be fully trained and no longer a danger to her mate.

{}

Now she must locate Tucker who had effectively shut her out and been avoiding discussing anything of a personal nature since she'd been injured.

Physical exertion is all that came through to her as her mate had figured out a short-term method of selectively blocking their internal communication. Until she passed thorough the entrance of the rec room and the pain, from both his mind and body hit her. Watching his gloved fists make contact with the bag said he would plead exercise and conditioning but even from here the rawness of his hands was apparent. He had not chosen to forego the gloves for this session but T'Pol could tell it hadn't mattered. He'd told her he could deal with physical pain but the emotional and mental anguish often overwhelmed him.

If the physical pain became intense enough it almost numbed the rest. Not really numbing it but flooding his senses with so much sensation that the effect was the same. She didn't speak she simply reached out and touched the first visible bare skin she could see with her two fingers. She felt his startled reaction to her touching him in public. That was her objective. His motion stopped, his arms dropping down as he fell into the bag using his biceps to hold himself upright.

Physical release in the form of pain had always served him in the past so that was what he knew and sought here. Finding his balance between the extremes of anger, hate, guilt and then there's this undefined mental cry of anguish and a frozen kind of numbness to his extremities like his blood has stopped coursing through his veins. She could almost taste the tangy bitterness in his throat when he tried to push it and the revulsion back down.

T'Pol was in unfamiliar territory but knew she must handle him carefully. Her promise to not suppress his memories must be upheld but she had to alleviate some of this repulsion he was experiencing since his senses had settled and his mind tried to wrap itself around the idea of actually taking another life, another human life. She now must work to keep her own emotions regarding events from their connection and eyes to avoid adding to his turmoil.

Conditioning had been lacking for Tucker. He'd been trained on Xindus to fight and he'd learned how to stay alive. What they hadn't been able to prepare him for was the eventuality of killing anyone and more importantly of facing humans in battle, one on one. Combat training on Xindus had all been with aliens and while taking any life was difficult, Tucker had confirmed for her that for some when that life was one of your own species and not accomplished blindly it could be haunting. The Vulcan was aware of his keeping her from experiencing exactly this and that he thought himself strong enough to shoulder this reality for himself. And he may have been more prepared if not for her meddling with his emotions after their encounter with the Vulcans, effectively making this the first kill of real impact on his psyche. Added to this were his efforts to keep her protected from the crew finding out about their bond and her attempts to kill Nim. She felt what she thought was guilt but wasn't sure and had no idea what to do about it.

Tucker's eyes were averted to some imaginary spot on the floor a few feet away while one side of his brain tried to convince the other that he'd done Archer a favor but those piercing eyes and last words refused to cease flashing through his mind's eye. 'They've made you a murderer.' Hour upon hour he'd spent deep inside himself contemplating this dilemma. Knowing he was guilty of killing but morally, if it was unavoidable and in the defense of others he shouldn't consider it as wrong but then Archer would appear again and again and the arguments were on an endless loop. He was lost inside his own mind fighting to find something anything to hold onto. His face lifted and his fists began to hit the bag again and again trying to obliterate those cold, blank eyes that were staring back at him.

T'Pol stood in front of him letting the bag hit her in the chest as he continued to strike it, showing no sign of seeing her there. As it came forward she pushed it to the side and placed her body between him and the bag, grabbing his bloodied hands. The contact startled her and he reacted violently pushing her backwards until she made contact with the wall, pinning her there with his forearms. She could feel his mind trying to connect, trying to make sense out of something but the blackness had enveloped him so thoroughly that he was lost. His eyes looked past her. His body showed no familiar signs of passion and desire other than an erection that he was pressing almost painfully into her hip.

He pulled at her uniform so forcefully it ripped even though his hands should have been useless from the beating they had taken. Was this like before when he'd told her to stop him? She didn't think it was. Then he'd been angry with her, now his emotions were all directed at himself. Self hatred and loathing along with anger and repulsion. He was adrift in his own mind searching for an anchor, something to bring him back from the abyss.

T'Pol didn't understand what she felt he needed but she had to try to give him the skin to skin contact his mind was screaming out for. She ripped at his uniform making short work of the zipper from the neck to his waist. He pushed his mouth against hers hard forcing her head against the bulkhead. She returned the force backing him up slightly so she could remove her uniform only to be slammed back again as his hands pulled at her and he slammed into her with his bare chest. Warm moist breaths came rapidly against her neck inducing none of the sensations their passion created.

Without looking she knew his eyes were glazed over, unseeing. She felt his hands roughly and without purpose raking up and down her body, never stopping. 'I am his mate' kept running through her mind as she searched through his mind to find memories that she herself did not possess of her Pon Farr. Wishing to know if this was what that time had been like for him.

Pain - all she could feel was pain seeping through her skin wherever his came into contact. For a brief second her heart stopped as her body temperature increased. Her first instinct was to suppress it all but that would only protect her and do nothing to assist her mate, who was so deep inside his own mind she could barely find him.

The force of their joining was beyond anything they had experienced before.

He immediately slumped against her spent. She felt some part of him let go and held him until, she could lay him gently on the floor. She joined him wrapping her arms around him holding him tightly against her. His body had given in to exhaustion but the swirl of emotions and thoughts in his mind had not abated at all.

Waiting until he came around enough to realize where they were and what had happened was the only option so she gently entered his mind soothing him where she could and trying to sense his awareness so she could prevent guilt from overtaking him again. She had to hope this connection was strong enough and he had weakened himself enough that she could keep him with her. Keep him from seeking refuge inside his mind again. She needed to make him hear her when he came to.

Fully awake the intense pain forced a reaction as he kept trying to push away from her. His vision was cloudy but his eyes first took in the condition of his hands and then immediately returned to several bloody smears trailing down her body. "I didn't. Please tell me I didn't," came out in an anguished whisper.

The answer had been processed before the question was formed. Her hands reached out to him. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't force me. You were lost and needed me and I willingly gave you what you needed."

The bruised lip and discoloration on her sides told him something different along with the throbbing he felt at the back of her head. He'd been adamant with her about being careful not to reinjure herself having barely healed from what Archer had done to her. "I'm supposed to protect you. How do I protect you from myself?" Tears rolled down his cheeks.

"This was no worse than our first encounters during my Pon Farr. You needed to feel alive, connected, and acted on instinct. There is nothing wrong with that. I wish you had sought me out before you were so distraught. You would never hurt me and I would not allow you to if you were to try."

"You promised to stop me."

"This was not the same and I will go against my word to remove the memory if you dwell on this and let your guilt poison what we have between us. Stop it now or I will do it." She buried all her doubts about following through wanting to make sure he took her words seriously.

"Would you really take away my memory?"

"I will do what I have to to keep you safe and sane. So yes."

"I don't deserve your understanding about what I did."

"You suffered through much worse for several months and you forgave me. And what happened here was nothing like that. I was fully aware and participated of my own free will."

"I can't let you take the memory but if I can't get past this I will go to Restak, tell him what I did and see if he can do something that doesn't involve totally absolving me for what I did." Removing the memory would make it okay and he couldn't, wouldn't let that happen.

She let him work it out for some time before she began speaking again. "You are not a monster. You are not a murderer. You are a soldier. There is a difference. You fight and kill for a just cause. And you are my mate."

His mind was foggy and his thoughts were jumbled but the rational part of his brain was beginning to function again. Yes he was a soldier and he fought for a future free of the tyranny of a corrupt empire but each time Archer's final moments replayed his duty as a soldier, fleet commander felt foreign in the scenario. "It's not like that and you know it. If it came down to me or him that's just self-preservation, instinct. That's just the way it way it is."

Morality wasn't something he'd ever given much consideration but he'd never killed another human being before. Hadn't known it would affect him this way. And if they were to finish what they'd set out to do, it meant finding a way to get past it. Added to this was the knowledge that he hadn't acted as a soldier. "But it wasn't about me dying. It never got that far it was about..." His eyes drilled into hers. "All I saw was you. Not Commander T'Pol, not T'Pol of Vulcan, but T'Pol my mate." His mission was to protect her above all else. It overrode every other oath he had or ever would take. And to do that he must keep himself alive or ensure she died with him because death was not the worst of the possible outcomes if he were killed. Insanity was. And he could not risk leaving her alone with no control of her mind and her future.

"You acted as my bondmate and protected me. You had no choice it is a biological imperative for bonded mates."

Anger infused him. "It wasn't the bond. It was all me and I'd do it again right this minute if it meant keeping you safe. I don't know why I can't..." All he knew was he had to get this out of his head before they ran into the Vulcans again. Some part of him had always understood what the affect killing another Vulcan would have on T'Pol, but seeing what it had done to him made him even more concerned with what the impact would be on one who had been indoctrinated with the belief that killing, in general was wrong. "I can't let you go through this ever." He reached out and held onto his self-doubt, that fear that he wouldn't be able to protect her, tightly preventing any sliver of these emotions from slipping past his barriers.

She removed the form fitting gloves slowly. Peeling them away from his damaged flesh trying to ease them away from where the blood and tissue had dried. He hissed in pain as they came off. "You will do what must be done to protect me and I will do the same for you. Now, we must first go to our quarters and clean up, then you must see the doctor."

He put his arms around her and pulled her in close, allowing her to feel everything inside that he had been hiding. But mostly he wanted her to know how truly sorry he was. "Can he come to our quarters? I'm not really in the mood for. . .it still gives me . . .I really can't go in there tonight." Doctor Kamseth was nothing like Phlox and had gone out of his way to make him more comfortable but it would take time to recondition himself so entering a medical facility didn't make his insides freeze up.

She would agree to anything to keep him here.

**A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter than normal and my updates may be delayed somewhat more than they have been of late. My father passed away from heart failure so the next few days/week will be tense. It hasn't really sunk it yet. Probably won't until I get back home and away from the rest of the family. It doesn't help that my dad lived in Flint, MI the most depressing pit ever. Can't believe I missed that fact when I lived here as a kid. The neighborhood where I grew up is one big crack house. Anyway I have several chapters in the editing phase but right now I don't feel much like writing. I will be reading others work it just gives me something else to think about and a respite from my totally dysfunctional family and who knows I might find writing cathartic after the funeral but for right now I need to concentrate on other things. Hope everyone is having a great summer.**


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